147. The Real Reason Your Networking Isn’t Turning Into Clients

Welcome. I am marketing expert and business coach Melissa Kellogg Lueck. And this is the Doing Business Like a Woman podcast where we are exploring and teaching you how women are reinventing the way business is done and money is made to help you create greater impact and financial freedom. One business at a Good morning. Good morning. Hello ladies. How's it going? Here we are. We are here for another marketing mini master class. If you know me, you know I love alliteration, so I just can't help myself. We are just experiencing such a fabulous fall here and this morning I was out early and the sunrise was split spectacular. Last night we got to see the northern lights, the aurora borealis, and took a million pictures of that. So it's just so much beauty around. And so that is what I am feeling so grateful for this morning. And I'm feeling grateful for you. Thank you for being here with me today. I'm so glad that we get to spend a little time together and I want to really pour into you this morning. I have some really great content to teach you. So today what I really want to talk about is nurturing and nurturing business relationships and the importance of that. It is so, so important, especially in this modern buying environment. This is what I see is really the most important step in, in our marketing plan. And if you know me, you know I talk about there's only three things that we need to consistently be doing in our marketing to bring in all the clients and revenue that we want to be. And step one we talked about last week, that is bringing new people into your universe, your orbit. Step two is nurturing and really I think this is the most important piece right now in our modern and buying environment. And what I'm seeing. And so I'm going to talk about that. And then the third step is making offers and invitations. And so we're going to talk about more about that next week and in the coming weeks. But let me introduce myself before I get too far into this. My name, in case we don't know each other. Thank you so much for being here. It's so nice to meet you. My name is Melissa Kellogg Lueck and I am a marketing coach and consultant for women entrepreneurs. And I really believe that marketing doesn't have to be a source of sales suffering and that when women own their value and really connect your natural gifts of connection and communication and service, that that really is the best underpinnings of a great marketing strategy, a great marketing plan. And so that's what I love teaching my clients. And so when we do that when we're really embodying our value, our business value, and trusting your natural gifts of connection and communication and service, that marketing really gets simple and it gets magnetic and actually fun. So that's what we're all about around here. And so we're going to talk about nurturing relationships today. So the problem that I often see is lots of women I talk to are doing lots of marketing, lots of networking, lots of social media, lots of nurture activities, meeting lots of new people. But what I often hear is I'm not getting enough clients from it. Like, I don't know if it's working. I don't know if this is. Maybe I'm in the wrong room, right? We think it's because our elevator pitch isn't good enough, or we're not saying the right words, or we're not energetic enough, or we're not enough in some other way. Right? Like we're just not interesting enough or whatever. All those not enough feelings, right? We all have those. I have those, too. Or maybe we think we're not in the right room, we're not talking to the right people. So we've got to get in the right room with all the right people, right? And there's so much pressure. Or maybe, you know, we have a stack of business cards on our desk of other people's business cards that we've collected, you know, out in networking or doing, meeting people that we're going to do something with someday, right? And so we've met all these people, We've kind of like hoarded all of these connections, and we're still not getting the business that we want. So what is the problem? Right? Like, what's happening? And so that's what we're going to talk about today. But what I want to offer is that what if you're bringing in new business, bringing in all the clients that you want, has nothing to do with having the right elevator pitch, saying the right words, being in the right room. What if you trusted that every single room you walk into is the right room because you're there? Right. What if you trusted that everything you say, when you speak it authentically and from your heart are the right words? Like you're always saying the right words. What if you trusted yourself and the value that you bring, so much so that you trusted you always say the right thing to the right person and that the right people were always coming to you, or you're always in the right room with the right people. What if it has nothing to do with having magic words or the perfect room, but instead has to do with how people feel when they're with you and how you make people feel when they're with you, right? What if the only thing that you need to improve on is how you're nurturing relationships? What if it could be that simple? What would that be like? Right? And so that's what I want to talk about today. Because what I know for sure, and now more than ever, is that relationship always comes before revenue. So if you aren't seeing the revenue that you want to be seeing, look to the relationships that you're building, right? And relationships are built with intention, through value, connection and frequency. And you can absolutely 100% provide and show up in every relationship with value, connection and frequency. That's all it takes, right? You don't have to have magic words. You don't have to be in the perfect room saying the exact right thing to the exact right person. You can be building and nurturing relationships everywhere you go, Whether you're walking to the mailbox in your neighborhood or helping out at school for your with your kids, or going to a networking event that you've never been to before, or showing up online just like this. Like, I trust that every person that watches this is the exact right person. You are here for a purpose and I am here for a purpose. And we are meant to be in relationship with one another, right? So how do we do that? How do we nurture relationships with the right people? Right? So what I want to offer is that those that we connect with, that we just kind of naturally click with, in a way, those are the folks that we're meant to be in relationship with, right? And they know they're meant to be in relationship with us. So that's, that's what we're going to be thinking about because we know we walk into rooms with any room, right? Whether it's the, you know, at our kids school or in our neighborhood or at our, in our faith community or networking, intentionally networking, working, right? We're always connecting with other humans. And when we show up with this belief that we are always in the right room and that we are always the right person to be in that room, then we show up with intention to connect and we never. You never know who you're going to end up connecting with. You never know who they might know, right? And so you always have to just like have that anticipation of this is exactly the right room. I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be meeting who I'm supposed to be meeting right now. And when you show up with that kind of anticipation and belief and excitement and curiosity, you can't help but meet the right people. And not everyone is going to be the right person, right? And that's okay. Like, you're going to connect with the people that you're meant to connect with, and you're going to click with the people that you're meant to click with and just assume that that's the way it's going to be. So just get out there and meet as many people as you can. And that's what we talked about last week, meeting as many new people as possible. Right? And so you always want to just be doing that. So how do we nurture these relationships? And first of all, I want to say this is highly, highly important in this current buying environment. What I'm seeing, what I hear my mentors, the experts that I follow are seeing and saying, and what I'm experiencing, my experiencing in my own business, what just about every woman that I also that I'm talking to, every one of my clients, what we're all seeing and noticing is that buyers in this modern economy, in this economic environment, in this where we are in the world, is that people need more opportunity to be in our energy, in our presence, get to know us, get to love us, get to trust us. And so this nurture cycle that we're going to talk about is longer now than it has been in the past. So if we can just accept that that might be the fact, that might just be the case. It's okay, right? Once we just come to grips with that, that it's not anything to do with us. That doesn't mean there's anything wrong with us, that we did something wrong, we said something wrong, we didn't use the magic words. It's not that. It's just what I heard someone say. We're in a trust recession, right? So what if we just accept that as a fact we're in a trust recession. It is our job as the CEO, as the chief marketer, as the salesperson, to provide more opportunities for our people to be in our presence, in our energy. More opportunities for them to trust us, to get to love us, to get to know us. It is our responsibility to provide those opportunities. So the other thing I want to tell you is that I want you to remember that as a woman, in general, you are, we all are innately gifted as connectors, as collaborators, as nurturers, right? We are biochemically primed for connection and relationship and nurturing. So you naturally have an edge in this buying environment, this economic environment, this business environment, you naturally have an edge because of your natural innate abilities. And so I want you just to trust those and trust that you are a gifted nurturer, you can grow very profitable business relationships. So, you know, just lean on that a little bit and trust that about yourself, okay? So this whole process will come naturally to you. And it's so funny because we practice it in other areas of our lives, right? If you think about your relationship with your romantic partner or your spouse, your relationships with your children, with your family members, with your neighbors, with your faith community, with your new friends, right? You naturally know how to build those relationships. So why don't we also apply that. Apply what we already know, what we already do to our business relationships? And I think the distinction, what comes up for me is that in all those personal relationships, we understand the give and take of a relationship, right? And we just naturally feel that and we, we get into that, right. Like it's just the natural way things go. But in business relationships, we think we need to be getting something from somebody, right? And so this get energy comes into play. And so I think it's the distinction between understanding and being aware of get energy versus give energy. So usually in relationships outside of work, we. We want to build them and we are genuine, genuinely curious and interested and naturally have feel that give and take, right? But in business relationships, we can get off track because we feel like we have to get something from them. We're trying to get the sale, right? And that's not natural for us. It's not our natural state. And so things get weird, right? Have you felt that? They get weird. And you feel it. They feel it. We all feel it. So we're going to clear that up today. Let's just clean that up, right? We don't need to have that. Get energy. And so what we need to do is know our client journey. And I'm going to talk a lot more about this next week, but we'll talk some about it because it's very relevant to what we're talking about today. But I want you to think about what are all the steps if you're intentionally building a relationship, a business relationship, what are all the steps your best fitness client can take to first get to know you, love you, trust you, and then what are all the steps they take with you on the bridge to getting from where they started to where they want to be, Right? So there's steps all along the way. And so that's what makes up our offers and invitations. We're always inviting people to that next step in the relationship. And. And if we are intentional about building relationships, it's our responsibility to know what those steps are and to make those invitations. Right. But see, what I often see happens is that we, you know, we go into these business relationships with this, get energy, and we think we have where, you know, this person probably doesn't want to know me, probably doesn't want to buy from me. We kind of have that assumption. And. And so we feel like we're trying to force a relationship and force, you know, a sale or try to get something from them, right? So there's all this, like, forcing and getting and for that kind of masculine energy. And so we don't want to be around ourselves and they don't want to be around us in that kind of energy. So it just, you know, makes things weird. So what I want you to first of all assume is and change your thinking around assuming that people want to get to know you, just as you want to get to know them, not to get something from them. But you are genuinely wanting to build a relationship, right? Not to get a sale. Because at the beginning of a relationship, you have no idea what the possibilities are for this relationship. And that's what, you know, that is how the approach that I always think about, like, I'm always fascinated by people. And that's one of the reasons I was became a professional writer, because I loved interviewing people and writing their stories and just learning all about them. And so I've brought that into my coaching business as well. Like, I'm just fascinated by getting to know people. And so, you know, when I meet someone, it doesn't matter if I think, oh, do they fit my ideal client profile? Who the hell cares? Just put all that aside and get to know people as people. Because you have no idea where this relationship could go. It could go in so many different directions. But if you click with that person, then continue pursuing it, continue uncovering all the possibilities for the relationship. Not to get something, but how can you serve them? How can you help them get what they want? Right? Zig Ziglar, his famous quote, he says, when you help, and I may butcher it, but when you help enough people get what they want, you get what you want, too. So just go out into the world, meet people, be curious and curious about what their, you know, what their dreams are, what they want to create, what they want to have, what they want to build, and how can you support them in that, Right? It's beautiful. Okay, so. So first of all, we need to know what our client journey is from that very first meeting. So you're bringing these new people into your world and then, so what is that journey that they're going to take to get to know you, love you and trust you? And there's no one perfect client journey. It's, it's the journey. So you don't have to go buy masterclasses or mini courses or anything about building a client journey. No, it's just what are all the steps that you want to lead them on? And so I'm going to give some examples to get your wheels turning. But I want you to think about what are all the ways your people can be nurtured by you? What are all the ways they can get to know you and be in your energy that you're, that you want to be doing, right? So, and imagine each time they interact with you, they fall more in love with you and your work and they want more. And when you assume that when you believe that people want more of you, just as you want more of them, then it's easy to offer that next step to them, right? It's easy to offer their next step to learning more from you, having more time with you, getting to know you more. Right? And so like I said before, what I've noticed in this, in trust driven industries like I work in and, and my clients work in, this cycle of growing, trust has lengthened where it's our responsibility to offer lots of opportunities for people to get to know us. And I like to think about this as like a tomato garden, right? How many of you grow tomatoes? I grow tomatoes. I love growing tomatoes. But so, you know, out in my garden, I'll plant the tomato seeds or, yeah, even the seeds, right? We're just, you, you're out there planting seeds, you fertilize them, you water them, you make sure they get plenty of sun, and you nurture. Even though you, you have nothing sprouted yet, you believe that every single one of those seeds or the ones that are meant to sprout, will sprout, right? And then they sprout. And it's such a miracle. You see all of them pushing up through the ground, right? And you start to see their little green plants come up and then they, they grow and then they begin to have their flowers, right? They'll bloom their little flowers and the flowers become tomatoes. And all those tomatoes start out green, right? And all this time I'm still watering them. I'm still fertilizing them. I'm still weeding and clearing out anything that's keeping them from growing. I'm, you know, putting them on the trellis and, and attaching them to the trellis so they have support. And even though all of those tomatoes are still green, I'm still nurturing those plants all, all the way. And then they'll start turning red, they'll ripen, right? But all the tomatoes don't ripen at one time. They all ripen at different times. But whether they ripen, you know, early or mid season or late season, it doesn't matter. I am nurturing them, I'm watering them, I am fertilizing them, I'm pulling the weeds, I'm attaching them to the trellis all along the way, all summer long for the entire growing season, right? So it's exactly the same with you nurturing your network. All these people that you've brought in are all, they're all your little tomatoes. You don't know when they're going to ripen. You don't know what is the, the one day that they're going to be ready to work with you. So it's your responsibility, it's our responsibility to nurture those relationships all along the way and to believe in them all along the way. Right? And so let me give you some examples of what this can look like. So last week we talked about bringing in the new people into our world, right? So say for instance, say, for example, you meet people networking. I meet a lot of people networking. I do a lot of networking, Right? So that's the beginning of the relationship. You meet someone, you shake their hand, you say, hi, you know, I'm Melissa. It's so nice to meet you. Tell me more about you. Tell me what you maybe exchange contact information, you follow each other on LinkedIn or get a business card. However it is that you spark that relationship, right? Then what is the next step you're going to offer? Right? So some examples for me, like I'll just tell you how I work is. I will email them immediately following within a couple of days. And, you know, I'll say it's so it was so nice to meet you at the XYZ event. I would love to get to know you better and learn more about you and your business and how I can connect you. Right? So it's about that service and connection. And so this is very intentional. And then I will either say, let's have a coffee, chat or offer some resources, maybe that we talked about or invite them to an event. I host two events each month in person. So I'll invite them to one of those. Or, you know, think about what are all the invitations, you know, that you can offer. So then, for example, we have a coffee chat, right? And so I meet them for coffee. We have a great conversation. I have a. Have a specific structure that I have for those coffee chats. We create some connection. I get curious about who they are, what they do, what they're looking for. And then I always want to end it with, how can I support you? How can I support you going forward? Right? And so that's when we talk about that next step. So I always take the intentional growing of the relationship as my responsibility, right? So it's not. I'm not trying to get something from them, but I want to suggest something that's going to serve them, right? Maybe I'm going to connect them with someone that we, that they're looking to connect with or invite them to an event or, you know, invite them to join me on this live or listen to my podcast, right? So then say, for example, I invite them to an event or invite them to a workshop or a masterclass that I'm hosting, and then they come to that. And so that's another opportunity for them to be in my energy, get to know me, get to know my work. And so at the end of that, just as in the end of my emails or the end of anything I do, I'm going to make an invitation. What is the next step to bring them on? So when you have intentionally thought out, what are all the steps I want to bring people on, then that relationship becomes very intentional, it becomes very valuable. And you want to make sure that these touch points that you're having with folks are frequent, right? Say, for example, that you want to build a relationship with a romantic partner. How often are you going to reach out to them to text them or call them or see them? Right. Is it once a week or every couple of days? It depends. Right? But if you're trying to build a personal relationship with another human, right, you're going to connect with them frequently. So some people will say, well, you know, I'm only going to send out an email newsletter once a month, and is that enough? And I will always ask, well, you tell me, you know, if they are wanting to get to know you and trust you, if you're showing up once a month, is that enough to grow that relationship and that trust? Right? So you have to ask yourself that question. And if There's a lot of other ways for them to interact with you. Maybe, yes, maybe that's. That is frequent enough. But if you come with this assumption that they are falling in love with you and your work and they want more and more of it, then you want to be showing up for them and continuing to nurture that relationship. Because if you let that relationship go cold, go stale, then that opportunity goes away, right? And so when we have this intentional, thoughtful, nurturing, and we're nurturing these relationships and we're doing this intentionally, then this creates our consistent flow of clients and opportunities, referrals and revenue into our business. So if you are collecting all these contacts and not, you know, growing these relationships, this could be part of why you're not creating that consistent revenue in your business. And so make sure that you have a very intentional and thought out, clear client journey. And I can help you to create that. I would love to help you create your client journey. I would love to clarify with you who is your best fit client. And I would love to help you create the marketing part of the client journey as well as the client journey, and really walking them through what it's like to work with you. And when you have both of those parts created intentionally and well thought out, people feel safe. People feel safe with you. They're like, oh, she knows what she's doing. She knows how she can help me, and she is inviting me to be part of her world. That means I belong, right? I'm good enough to be in her world and do this work with her. And so it's really important. This nurturing aspect of our marketing is extremely important. And so if you think this is a part of your business that could use some support, I would love to support you. And the first step in doing that is to grab a spot on my calendar and let's get together for a call, and I can go through your marketing with you and really evaluate and help give you clarity so you can see exactly where are the holes that you might want to plug, where you want to improve, where you want things to get better. And because I want marketing to be natural and easy and fun for you. And it really can be right, because remember, you are innately and naturally gifted as a nurturer to really stand out in this modern buying environment. So I want to help you do that. I want to help you with the confidence in doing that. And because I know that what you have, the world needs it. The world needs what you have to offer. They need the transformation that you're offering and I would love to help you reach and impact more people. Help more people. You can always go to my website melissamkellog.com and there is a book a call button in the top right hand corner and that's what I have for you today. My friends and I hope this has been useful. I know that you can do this. You are best suited for this part of our marketing plan. And so next week I'm going to go deeper into creating that client journey and why that's important so that you can really shepherd people along because so many people need what you have to offer. I believe in you, I love you and I wish you a wonderful rest of your week and please schedule that call with me. I would love to support you. All right, bye. Hey, if you like this podcast, I want to invite you to become part of my community by signing up for my Friday Selly. The link is in the show notes. Each Friday I'm going to deliver to your inbox my weekly celebration as well as my thoughts on the latest in business and marketing. I want to keep you in the know about my upcoming events, free trainings, book clubs, all the fun things, even some free gifts. And of course, I'm going to let you know about these new podcast episodes. I'll see you there.