Mel Robbins explains why you feel rejected: you're a ten-gallon person seeking love from pint-sized people who can't fill you. Her mother, a domestic worker, came home depleted and could only offer love through cooking. Forgive people for what they cannot give.
You're a 10-gallon person. I'm a 10-gallon person. A lot of you are 10-gallon people trying to get 10 gallons worth of love from pint-sized people who cannot carry the 10 gallons. They can't even carry the gallon. So you're looking for pint-sized— you're looking for 10-gallon love, 10-gallon responses, 10-gallon reception. 10-gallon acceptance from people who have a pint-sized ability. So what I learned from that is that expecting people to offer you or give you the love, the attention that you need, who do not have the capacity to do it— they just, they don't have the— they don't have it. And you have to recognize they don't have it. So what do they have? Can I accept you exactly where you are with what you do have? And so my mother could cook. She made some incredible collard greens and could make cornbread like nobody else. And she— and that was the way she offered love. Right. And her idea, just like I know a lot of you have grown up with with parents, especially if you're my generation or below my generation. You have parents who thought, because I provided for you, that was love. You had food on the table. You had shelter. You weren't on the streets. That was, that was, that was all I had. That was all I had. And I realize now my mother was a, was a, was a maid her entire life until I retired her. My grandmother was a maid. A domestic worker. And taking care of other people's kids. You're giving all of your energy to taking care of other people's kids, putting on the face for them, wearing the mask for them. And by the time you came home, you had nothing left for me. I recognize that now, and I forgive that.
Oprah Winfrey: How to Find Your Unique Purpose, Authentic Power, and Calling in Life
