Rochelle & Alisha | Empowering Transformation - Mick Unplugged [EP 10]

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All right, everyone, welcome to another electrifying episode of Mick Unplugged. And today on the podcast, we are diving into the world of personal transformation and empowerment with two remarkable leaders in the field of coaching. From appearing on the Oprah Winfrey show to founding the Soul of a Woman workshop series and co authoring a book that I actually just started reading, Hope Ignited four Women by Women. Their work embodies a deep commitment to empowering individuals and navigating the complexities of relationships and family dynamics.

It is my distinct honor and pleasure to join me today.

Coach Rachelle and coach Alicia Schwartz, welcome to the Make Unplug podcast.

Wow.

Thank you.

Thank you.

We are so happy to be here.

Thank you.

So there's so much that I want.

To go to, and there's so much that I want my listeners to know. And when you hear an appearance on the Oprah Winfrey show, that perks up ears, that perks up eyes, right? So I would love to hear how.

Being on the show impacted your career.

And what were the things, like the moment you knew I'm going to be on the Oprah Show. What did you feel personally about that?

You know, it's so interesting. I wasn't like, oh, my God. It was like, oh, yeah, like I deserved it, you know, when I was told. And at those times, we had. We didn't have the technology that we have today, so I had to send pictures. And I mean, everything, because I was the last person they interviewed. Everybody else didn't work, so I couldn't say a lot, a lot of things, but I passed. And they only had a limited amount of time to come and. And air it, so they flew to Florida, they came to my home and aired it, and then I was able to fly back to Chicago and go to the Oprah Show. But it was all here in Florida that they, you know, videotaped. It was fabulous. I mean, it was like a little girl going into a candy store. When I got to Harpo, and it was like, oh, my God, look at all these pictures of all these stars. And it was a wonderful experience for me. It really was. As far as my work was concerned, it took me a little time to be able to share it, because I just felt that there was going to be so much jealousy that I kind of kept it to myself for a while. And then someone said to me, why don't you let people know? I mean, that not everybody can get on. And that's when I decided that, yeah, it was a big conversational piece, just like what you said, how did you do it? And stuff like that. But that's basically. And it was my, my mentor, teacher Debbie Ford, that had suggested I come on.

That's amazing. That's so awesome. And both of you are doing so much for empowering women and cultivating leaders in this society today. What are some of the things that have impacted your lives on a personal level that's led to this empowerment that you're, that you're out there delivering?

Well, for me, I had a learning disability as a child, so, so that was a big impact on my self esteem. Not thinking that you're smart enough, good enough was a very big thing for my self esteem. And then also my dad at the time, he was pretty verbally abusive. So growing up in that too, you got your learning disability and then you got the abusive, verbally abusive father. So with that, it really impacted me. And, and so that's what led me to go deeper. That's what led me to heal internally. And that's when I met my mentor and teacher, Debbie Ford. And that led me to the path of transformational work. Looking inside, shadow work, looking at the things I didn't like about myself, embracing them, finding the light, finding the gifts, and then being able to share, obviously my challenges with other women and share that they can transform and heal too by going inside and looking at the things that we might not want to look at, but really have gifts to bear. So, and that's the work we've been doing for the past 26 years is really bringing light to the dark and transforming.

That is so awesome. As I read and hear about your story and all the amazing things that you're doing out there, you know, I get motivated by Alicia, your story. You know, you talk about the verbal abuse and that's some things that I went through in my household too. Right.

Like it's never enough.

Right. No matter how great you are or how good you may be at something, it was never enough. And for me, that fueled me right. As well. And to overcome that, to have that moment where you can realize, you know what, that was one person's opinion.

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We let one person's opinion dictate who we are and that's one of the things that I love about some of the messages as I listen to the podcast that you're on and I read your book right? It's never about one person's opinion that shapes who you are. Could you talk a little bit more about that?

I mean, if you want to go into what made me, what led me into this is that at 30 years old, I was like off the walls. I didn't even know. I mean, I was like really wild. I didn't know who I was, what I'm doing. And of course I was married at the time and had man, that was verbally abusive to me and I had no self esteem. But we were moving from Florida back to New York and at that time I was, I always meditated and I heard this tiny voice say to me, you have to go back and find out who you are. I never looked back. I took the word and wasn't an easy path, but that started my transformation. But also, you know, I was told that I had learning disabilities and at that time they had no programs. So I took it on as being stupid. And so walking through all of that, I was sexually abused, you know, so I had a lot that I needed to work through. But man, I'm telling you, I'm so grateful that I took on all of this because the transformation has been incredible. Through a divorce, through a verbal abuse, sexual abuse. And I can stand here very proudly and say to you, I really love me. And I had to learn to do that.

That's it.

So I'm not sure that answered your question.

And I think like too, being a mother, daughter dynamic duo and really what we provide people with is we know what it's like to walk through family issues. You know, like we said, from the verbal abuse to working through our own battles and then looking at ourselves and then healing that. And then, you know, it's funny because I laugh because when you're in relationship with anybody, you're really in relationship with yourself. So you can't when you're in this kind of work. So if I get mad at her, it's like, wait, where do I have to look at? Why am I triggered by her? It's me. You know what I mean? It's self referral. It's not she's the one or he's the one. And that foundation of a relationship is huge because it sets you up for the whole world around you, whether it's your working relationship.

Right?

Absolutely.

Your intimate relationships you got in friendships that you are the one in a relationship.

It's the.

Not the other only it's you too got to take that responsibility. You know.

They want to blame you. You know, it's easier to blame somebody else.

And I Think those are the things that we also work with women on, especially in a divorce or in any kind of abusive relationship. It's like, wait a minute, let's look at where that looks and where that is for you. You know, what is it that you're allowing for that to occur? You got to have the boundaries. You got it. You know, whatever you have to do to create a safer place for yourself, that's what you need to do.

And boundaries so important. It is so important.

Right. You know, you hit on, on one thing, actually hit on several things. But there's one thing I want to come back to that you talked about. And I know it's one of the things that you both are so passionate about. And one of the reasons I wanted you on this show today was you have something unique that someone like me can't talk about. One of the things that I know that you love and one of the segments of your workshop is healing the mother daughter relationship.

Talk about that because I know there.

Are a lot of people listening. There are some things that a man can't discuss or can't have conversations with the dog. We just don't reason the same way, we don't communicate the same way. I would love to hear your conversation and a little bit about what you do on healing the mother daughter relationship because I think that is so impactful, especially in this social, digital world that we're in today. Like, having that relationship is powerful.

Yeah, well, I kind of mentioned a little bit, but I think the best kind of relationship, whether we're talking about now the mother daughter connection, is that whether you're the mother or the daughter, each one has to do their own work. Each one of, like, I had to do my own personal growth work. Right.

So.

And she had to do her own personal growth work. And in great news, we were doing it together. So we were able to heal things through the work we were doing. Let's say, for instance, I remember a time she didn't pick me up from school. Right. Just a minor thing.

She.

She was late, very late. So I of course, made it mean that I was unimportant. How could she forget her daughter? She's so late. How could she do that? So I made this unconscious belief that I wasn't important. So of course then I created relationships that would reflect that I wasn't important. My point is, is that you have to do your own work so that you can have an easier time in relationship with your mother or daughter. We walk with people in the journey we take. Let's say, I'll do. I'll work with the daughters, my mom will work with the mothers, and we'll have them look and identify what's the.

What's.

What's going on in the relationship. Why is there fighting a strainman? Why don't you talk to her? Why are you mad at her? And we have them look at themselves first, because first we're listening to the story, but we're going back to have them listen for who they are in the relationship because they keep wanting to blame the daughter, blame the mother. They get nowhere.

Right. And we've done that. Doesn't work.

But the main thing is to do your own work first and then come together, you know? Right.

Yeah, a great example. And it was really tough for me because I'm the mother and I should know better. And I would notice that Alicia would always create a lot of things coming to her money and people. And she just kept on going. And I'm sitting there struggling, and I'm going, I can't stand it now. And I. And I'm looking at her and I'm saying, how can I get pissed off at her? She's my daughter and I'm jealous. That's what happened. I was jealous of her. And it was like. I can't tell you how hard it was at the time to actually confront her, because my pride was in the way. I'm her mother, I should know better. But let me tell you, when I told her, you know, you manifest so quickly, and I struggle with that. And I just want you to know that I'm so jealous of you. It was such a cathartic release for me. And of course, she being in the.

Work, you know, it didn't affect me. I said, well, that's good, then I must be doing something right for you to want what I have. So let's look at that. So basically, we work with mothers and daughters to show first them what they're doing to themselves really in the relationship. Right. What are you projecting onto your mother? Or what are you projecting onto your daughter that you can't see in you? So it's all really based on you. When you take those projections back, negative or positive, light or dark, you become whole. You're no longer triggered, you're no longer in your wound, and you can dialogue freely without any triggers. It's an easier road. But the problem is most people are projecting on the other person and don't want to look at themselves. That's whether it's a mother daughter relationship, whether it's a husband, wife, whether it's a friend, a lover, someone you work with, that's the base of the world.

You'Ve talked about so much in this.

Short period of time. And, like, navigating through divorce and family issues and, you know, Alicia, talking about toxic relationships, those are all complex challenges that people go through. Right. What are some of the guiding principles that you offer to people embarking on those difficult journeys of life?

Showing them our story. A lot of people want to know where you're from, what. What you've accomplished, what. Where have you come from, what have you done? So it makes it. We provide a very sacred and safe space where people just bear their soul, because we're not better than anybody else. We've just done the work. So I think the first rule would be, are you willing to look at yourself? Because we have a lot of different programs that would help these people. And I think the one that I love is healing your heart. Because you know what? Everybody wants to be loved. Everybody wants to be important. They want to be heard. And so I think by us going ahead and showing them what's available to them as they do their own. Own work, and we guide them and hold that space for them and take them through this. I can't tell you over 27 years how people. If you take a picture of them before and after, they lose, like, 10 years off their life.

Yeah.

You know, people can't. And this is. I have to say this. I'm 78. I will be 79. And people say to me, I don't believe it, and I'll go. Do your own work. What else do you have to add to that?

Well, I think when you transform internally, you get so much more. More externally.

Right.

I mean, as far as. Yeah. I mean, because you can't. If you can't look at yourself, you're carrying all of that. All of that unprocessed, undigested emotion. Right. So when you do this kind of work, you work through the undigested emotion, you become free. And then, of course, everything transforms from there. Right. Your face looks lighter. You look lighter. You're no longer carrying all that weight.

That's awesome. And I've heard you both say multiple times, it almost starts with you, Right. Like you both said, you have to do the work.

Right.

A lot of times we want to blame others or we want to shut down, but we have to take that moment to do the actual work. How do you get people to do that work, to take that first step, to have that internal reflection because it's really easy to make excuses. It's really easy to blame others or.

Even to blame ourselves.

Right.

If we're not blaming others, sometimes we blame us. How do you get people to take that first step to put action behind what they're doing?

Again, I think it's sharing with people where we have been and asking them some powerful questions. What is it that they would want to get out of coaching? You know, are they willing to look at themselves? What's their issues? And I think that it makes them feel very comfortable because of who we're being with. We happen to be funny and we know when it's serious, and people love that. You know, we have that kind of dynamic between the two of us.

Yeah.

What else do you think?

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I think that would help people. I think it's really sharing with them, looking at what it is that they want to take care of in within themselves, like what's keeping them. And all the programs we have are so powerful that it's like when they start, it's like, oh, I never saw that. It's like they're waking up. They're basically waking up. So I think that also is something that I think we pride ourselves on because you know what, we're the real deal. What you see is what you get.

Yeah. And I think, you know what I'm.

Saying, it's like, you know, this is it.

Yeah. Like my dog right now is barking. So I'm just sitting here trying to manage that as you're talking and I'm going, okay, can she just be quiet? Of course. When I have we have an interview that she decides to do that. Right. I think that the most important thing in anything you do, whether it's any relationship, you have to be willing to look at yourself or else you're like constant projection mode. We all are. Projections are very big.

Big.

I mean, that's a whole nother conversation. But it's one that is really important because when you take back your projection, you're free. You could be whole. You don't have to be half of a person. You're more of all of who you are. You can't be a half a person and think, if I look at you and I go, wow, he's a powerful man.

Right?

But I'm constantly telling you how powerful you are, and I'm not owning it in me. I'm just projecting it on you. You walk away and I'm like, like, wait, what about me? Right? So it's important to own all of who you are. And that's really the base of all our work and how it all stems into every relationship, whether that's mother, daughter.

And it always comes back to you. Always, always, always, always, always.

There you go. I love it. So you mentioned a lot of the programs that you have. What are some of the programs? Like, what are some of the things that coach Rochelle and Alicia do for the world? Where do you provide?

Well, we have a six week.

We do.

We have a six week program. And that kind of is for people that really haven't done a lot of work on themselves. So it just introduces them to a lot of what keeps them stuck.

A goal and a vision. You know, some people don't even know what their goals are, what a vision is. It's pretty basic. For people that have never done anything, this is a great way to start looking at yourself on a very subtle level. And then, of course, we have deeper work. We have shadow work, which goes deeper and deeper and deeper. We have healing your heart, right. Which is all about, you know, the spiritual laws, which is, you know, the law of choice, the law of responsibility, forgiveness, you know, acceptance. All the fundamental things we need in any relationship to be successful. And that trickles into business, right?

It trickles into your business. Yeah, for sure.

If you don't know how to accept, how can you run a company with 25 people? Right? How can you. You don't take responsibility, how are your people going to take responsibility? You're a reflection of. Of who you're around and who's in your company. Right? So that's.

Right.

Any relationship.

And then what the other is the blueprint.

The blueprint, which is more about self, looking at self and going deeper into that process as well. So there's a lot to do, and.

A lot of times we integrate music because music starts to activate people, the emotions start coming, you know what I'm saying? So it's really. For each thing we'll do, we will integrate music into the sessions.

Who are some of your favorite music artists?

Oh, God.

Oh, I love. I love Lady Gaga. I love her.

I love Billy Joe. I love Billy Joe.

Barbara Streisand.

Barbara. Barbara. I love her.

Barbara Streisand. I love Celine Dion, too. Yes, I really do. I love her. I think she's amazing. You know, what's his name?

The.

Oh, my God.

Billy Joel.

I love Billy Joel.

You said Billy Joel. Yeah. Rod Stewart.

Rod Stewart's great. The oldies.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I go in with.

Some of the rappers are cool, like Chance, the new rapper that's on, you know, one of the shows, the Voice.

He's cool.

Chance. So some of them are good, the new ones that are out in. In the world.

Who's the other one? I love Casey and the Sunshine. Sunshine Band.

Loves his old school. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's, like, real.

Oh, yeah. You can go to Paul Lanker.

What's the guy that just passed away? What's his name? Oh, Tony.

Ben.

No, no, no.

The other one that had the Margaritaville. I liked him, too. Jimmy. So that's Luther Vandross. You kind of look like Luther, by the way.

Yeah, you do.

Little Luther. Little Luther. There we go. That's awesome.

So two more questions I'm going to.

Get you out of here with. The first question is a. Is a two part for each of you. You. What are two of your core values? And then how do you relay your core values and what you do on a daily. So each of you get to answer that question. Mom's gonna make Alicia go first.

I think integrity is huge. It's one of the core values, integrity itself, and I think being authentic, which kind of ties into it. Right? I mean, if you have integrity, then you're more authentic. If you don't have integrity, they're not as authentic. That's for me, and that's kind of how I roll. Yeah.

For me.

Thank you.

It's forgiveness and responsibility. Those were big.

The biggie. The word most people, they hide, you.

Know, it's just such a big one, you know, it really is big.

I love it. I could talk to both of you forever.

Responsibility.

We can sit here and chat for the next five hours.

Integrity. I used to think it was all about money. I used to think integrity was all about money. And so I started to do this kind of work, and I thought, wow, integrity is your word, what you commit to, what you're committed to in the world, how you show up or don't show up. I mean, it's. It's so vast, your nation, of who you are.

Yes, Right.

Yep.

It's your foundation of who you are. That's great. All right, so last thing. How do people get in touch with you. And I'm going to make sure that in the podcast notes, everyone can can make sure that they follow you and get in touch with you. And on the videos that we post on YouTube, I'll make sure all your links are there. How can people get in touch with Coach Rochelle and Coach Alicia right now?

Rochelle Schwartz. On Instagram, it's CoachRechelle and LinkedIn is Rachelle Schwartz.

And then your email is.

Oh, my email is coachrechellechelle comcastle and.

Mine is shadow bstr threeahoo.com and we also have a YouTube channel which is Mother daughter dynamic duo. There you go.

Podcast all the social links. We'll make sure we have all of that available. Ladies and gentlemen, Coach Rochelle and coach Alicia. I'm honored to have you. I'm honored this time with you. And for everyone listening, remember your because is your superpower. Go unleash it.

Until next time, thanks for listening to Mick Unplugged. We hope this episode helps you take the next step toward the extraordinary and launches a revolution in your life. Don't forget to rate and review the podcast and be sure to check us out on YouTube at Mick Unplugged. Remember, stay empowered, stay inspired, and stay Unplugged.