#6 Possibilities With Steven Dykstra NHL As He Was Told He Would Never Make It

Welcome to the Mike Hartman Show. Mike is a performance coach and former Stanley cup champion with the New York Rangers. Topics on this show are focused around stories, mindset and champions. Mike will also go into details about helping you with your pain points and struggles and finding motivational solutions on how to have the mindset of a champion. Now, here's your host, Mike Hartman.

Welcome to another episode. Today we are still doing the series called Possibilities and I'm very excited to have a friend and former teammate with us, Steven Dykstra. Stephen had a really good NHL career, hard nosed defenseman. He's going to share his story on how he made it, how he got there, you know, the struggles along the way, as well as some of the good things. Stephen, great to have you today.

Great to be here, Mike. It was, we hadn't, we, we hadn't crossed paths in a while. It was that little reunion in Buffalo there when the Pulas bought the team and we sat together and chatted. But it's always nice to get together with old teammates, isn't it?

I mean, you look back on times and just what, like how many years ago that was playing for the Buffalo Sabres. That's, it's a long time ago.

I have to take my shoes and socks off to count that many years.

I know, but just before I got there, you always look to see, okay, who are the physical guys? Usually when you go to the stadium, people would say, what's the first thing you do? Well, besides, you know, you take your clothes off in the changing room, you put on the hockey underwear, as they say, and you stretch. But right after that, the next thing I do is I always read the guide to see who has the most penalty minutes. So I'm going to look at the guide that comes out the lineup or who's in it. Did they call anybody up? But I knew going into Buffalo, I said there were some really tough guy, a few big tough guys there, and I knew you were one of them.

You know, it's funny, Mike, where, you know, back in the day I did the same thing you did. We'd have that guide. I always got to the rink super early. And you'd get, you'd get ready and you'd sit in your stall and you get the guide and you know, then, then you look at, okay, who's, who's, who's what and who's the tough guys. And then you try to get intel on them, okay, who's a lefty, who's a righty, you know, how do they, you know, what Their, their tendencies are because, you know, in any given day, you know, you had to fight one of them and you know, it's. You try to, like in anything else, get an upper hand. I would think it's no different than a goal scorer wanting to get some intel on a goalie so he knew where to shoot to score his goals. Well, I was, you know, I played D and moved the puck, but one of my jobs was to get into fights and protect my teammates too. So you didn't, you wanted to make sure that you had all the information in front of you so you wouldn't get your butt kicked.

Well, you weren't just a fighter. I was too small to be just a fighter. We're not fighters. They have those guys in the minors that, and they could play too. It doesn't mean you have to be able to skate. You have to be able to play. People say, are you just a fighter now? You don't fight the NHL. You can't. There's six defensemen that dress. You can't be a six defenseman. They need all six defensemen that play. But when needed, we had to be there.

Yeah, no, you're right. It was, it was, you know, in the 70s, they, they might have had a loaded gun or two on the bench, but in the 80s and especially 90s and now, but I know when I started playing in the NHL, you definitely had to be able to play. The NHL was trying to get away from the gong shows and the bench clearing brawls. So, you know, referees knew who were the guys that played two and three minutes and you know, they'd give them a misconduct when they stepped on the ice. Just to kind of tone down, you know, some of the silliness. But, you know, yeah, you had to be able to play and contribute and, you know, just not be a fighter. You're right.

Now I'm trying to refresh my memory, but there was a guy that I just loved. And I know we loved you because I remember and it was, we always had that extra person literally in our corner. It was Jim Pizzatelli.

Oh, geez. Pizza man. You know, so pizza man was, was, was a big reason why I got to the NHL, Jim, for both of us. Well, for me, he was my first trainer for professional hockey in Rochester, New York. And just an energy guy and would lighten up the room and just a great guy. And, you know, especially he loved the fighters and he loved the big guys. And when I came to Rochester, I don't think I could fight my way out of a wet paper bag. But I really loved to play physical. So when you do that, you're gonna start getting into fights. And, you know, I'm sure a few of my fights when I was in the American League, I got my ass handed to me. But pizza man was a good man, and he would talk to you and build you up. He was almost like a corner man in fighting. Hey. He would sit there and, you know, hey, yeah, okay, this, you know, but, you know, next time you might want to, you know, switch it up or you might want to grab his hand. He would just. He was. And he loved the fights. And I mean, I know. I know all of us because he dangled those. Those boxing ropes, the real boxing robes at boxers war. And he put it out there that if. If you want a few or whatever, he would ceremoniously, you would get a robe. You remember that, right, Mike, I think you got one. I know I got one.

That's fun. That was on my agenda to talk about because, well, if anyone doesn't, Jim Pizzatelli, he was our trainer. He's about five foot four, maybe, maybe smaller. He was in the military. I don't know what. What he know. He served our country and he was an amazing trainer. Without getting into it, he saved one of our players, Clint Malarchuk, on the ice. But he used to, when I would go to the rink, he would circle who I would not go next to because I was new in the league. He says, listen, you're a rookie. And he would circle it and keep the. Keep it in my stall. Then he would list all the middleweights, and I would say, now I might go after a big guy. He goes, listen, get over here. He says, I'm telling you, it will end your career. He'll break your jaw. Don't fight Baumgartner tonight. Don't fight him. He'll knock your teeth out. We don't need that. You could play. Don't be a hero. We have Larry Playfair and Kevin McGuire and we have Steve Dykstra here when I played with you. And it was kind of funny how he cared about us so much.

Well, he did. That's. I mean, he really did. And to my point, he was the ringman and kind of the manager and made sure. Sure. Because on a team, if you do get your. Your butt kicked, you know, that reflects too, because there's times in games where guys go out and get into fights to lift their team and to get them going, and you don't want to bring your Team down by, by getting your ass handed to you. But you know Jimmy, another great deal that Jimmy did in the room was because Jimmy served the country like you said. And Jimmy was in Vietnam when he was 18 years old. And some of his stories were good, but he used to go around the room and say, hey, you, you'd be killed by your own troops. You, you'd get hit by a jeep. And I mean, he would have us in stitches. He was just a guy that really lightened up the room and was a, was a really key part. I know I won a Calder cup with him in Roche. And you know, those type of guys, they don't get the accolades, but they're a big reason why we go on and do those things. Because two, he keeps us on the ice and keeps us together. He was a tremendous trainer.

Well, I'll share this with you that I want to get into your story. I want to give people a little taste of your character and who you are. I always enjoyed playing with you, but I've cried a couple times in the NHL and the one time I cried that year I scored eight goals, nine assists, 17 points. I played a lot, played 70 games. Bob Probert knocked me out for 10 games. I hurt my back really bad and, and I had a lot of penalty minutes, like 300 and some odd minutes. So it was the last game of the year without getting into the whole story. And Mark Napier faked an injury so I could play my 70th game to get my real one way contract. Back then it was just a really good night. So I was, I was so excited prior to the game, but I was told I wasn't going to dress. So I want to make this about you. So what you said earlier was he came out, says, listen, we have a team presentation to make. Mike Hartman, where are you? I thought it was a joke. I thought they like playing jokes on me or sometimes I'm the guy that gets picked on sometime in a fun way. And he gave me a robe. He presented the robe and with my name on the back, I know you have one and only a few people get him. And I had a tear in my eyes at man, am I in the NHL. And I really got a robe. What was your feeling of that when you got your robe?

Well, he dangled and even, you know, Valmore James had one in Roche and I think he was the only guy that had one in Roche. And that's where he kind of really coached me and really, you know, and I'll talk about it more about my way to get to the NHL. But Jimmy was just astro, you know, mental in getting me there because he was always in my corner and building me up and believing in me and because, as you know, there's times where coaches put you down and. And you know, that that's how they motivated you in the 80s. But pizza would be a guy that would come behind him and pick you up and build your confidence and, you know, so, yeah, and then I remember I always wanted one. Chris Langevin was a teammate that unfortunately, career ended with a pretty serious knee injury once he made it to the NHL. But Chris got one down in Roche. And I'm just like, you know, yeah, you want those championship rings. But you also, when you played on a team that Jim Pizzatelli was coaching or training, you wanted a rope. And it's funny, you know, I know I wasn't there, but Dominic got a robe and, you know, he made exceptions, but typically that was for the fighters.

Yeah. And it was like, it's something I have to this day. It's something that. That I'm proud about, and I know you are, and it's something that I just love. And there was nothing like, I want to hear your story now. But there's nothing like playing for Rip Simonek. I was with. We were with Scotty Bowman. He was tough. But going back to the Buffalo days, when people asked me, that was probably the biggest days of my life, playing for the Buffalo Sabres and having all those old school guys around. So, Steve, what I want to do. We want to hear your story. You have a great story. So let's go. Let's share. Share the Steve Steven Dykstra story because I think we. Everybody wants to hear it.

Well, it's interesting. You know, I played. I was a late bloomer. And I remember I actually went and tried out for the Victoria Cougars in the Western Hockey League and was one of the last guys cut and went home and got a phone call from the Seattle breakers about a month later and said, hey, do you want to come try out for a weekend? Tried out, made it, had a really, really good year, played with some great guys, and at the end of the year, was told by the scout or the coach and the GM that, hey, you know, there's a chance you're gonna go second or third round. You know, this team's interested, that's interested. So you get all excited about it, and then draft day comes back. Then it was on the radio in Canada, and I was shoveling asphalt at the time, and I would Check with my font, my mom. And it's like, nope, no, no. And then the end of the day I'm like, I came home after a 12 hour day of working and I'm like, now what am I going to do? And it's all depressed. And then my mom answers the phone and it's like, hey, it's for you, son. And I'm like, no, I don't want it. Just no. Mom goes, no, you might want to take this. It's Scotty Bowman. And I'm like, holy. So I got on the phone and yeah, it was Scotty. And he said that, yeah, we didn't draft you, but our Western scout, Rudy Megay is really high on you and we wanted to get ahold of you right away and invite you to camp and offer you amateur tryout agreement. I was like, yeah, where do I sign? So you know, I came to camp and obviously I didn't make Buffalo, but I was sent to Rochester on that amateur agreement. And after 20 games I signed a contract with the Sabres. Played in Rochat year and it was with Mike Keenan. Great team. Won the Calder Cup. The next year in training camp I was able to get a couple of exhibition games with the Sabres, but then went back to Roch. Had had a decent year. But then the third year I came to camp and there was a change in coaching in Roche and some shuffling in Buffalo and you know, I was, I didn't even make Rotch that year. I wasn't even invited to camp, which really deflates you. And I ended up going and playing in Flint, Michigan. In the ihl.

Yeah.

Then, you know, I was there for about a month at the time. Jimmy Schoenfeldt was the coach. And this is kind of all ironic. Jimmy Schoenfeldt was the coach in Rochester and Van Boxmere was his player assistant coach. Well, in the time that I went and played in Flint, I tore it up and scoring and everything. And then Jimmy gets. Jim Schomfeldt gets called to Buffalo to play again. And then Boxy goes from being a player assistant to an assist to a, to a head coach. And I'll never forget. And you know, Boxy and Boxy and I were like identical in how we acted. And he came and he said to me, he goes, stevie, he called me back up from Flint. He goes, you're going to plan the power play, you're going to kill penalties and you're going to skate a regular shift until you show me you don't deserve it. And man, that just put the wind in my sails and I took off and ran with it and had a great year. Had a great year which led into the next year and in training camp and I came into Buffalo and had all the opportunities and fought my way in training camp and had some really good goals and Buffalo had lost. They lost, you know, Jerry Korab or they lost Shoney Korab and one other guy. So they needed three, they needed to fill three spots on D. And it turned out, you know, that I made it. But you know, part of it I knew that, you know, even though they had Larry Playfair, you know, they needed a young physical presence and you know, in the first part of the season, yeah, I did. I got into a lot of fights and, you know, did well, fought some big tough guys. But, you know, that's, that's how at the time you had to get there, you knew, you knew what your, you know, what, what your strong points were. And as a young player, you don't sit there and get away from your game and think you're something you're not. You had to stay with what you were and what you knew and gain your confidence and gain the respect of the other players in the league. But, you know, a lot of that was, was, you know, having to fight and like we talked about earlier, I was a young guy, so the league had to get to know me, but I needed to get to know the league and you know, the tough guys, the.

And you fight your way into a job and that's why we call it possibilities. Look what happened. Shoney ends up, you know, you end up playing for him and he's a long time Buffalo Saber and then John Van. I like Boxy. I love. He was so good to me. I went down to Rochester my second year and he worked with me. He says, listen, if you want to play all the time, you know, you have to do X, Y and Z. And I could tell you some funny, funny stories off the, off the air. But yeah, it's such, it was such. You had such a great opportunity and if people don't know out there. For those who don't follow hockey, you got to remember back then there was 21 teams. So if there's six defensemen, just don't think about the United States, where there's over a million and a half hockey players. Think of all the hockey players in Canada. Think of the players in Sweden, Finland, Czechoslovakia. They were just about little later than that, bringing the Russians over just after that. But we had players from all over the world. So if you go like what, six times 20 is what, 120 defensemen, 126 defensemen in the world. And that's what you have to look at. So like anything's possible for people that work hard and do everything they can to get to where you wanted to be. And you did it.

Well, I was really, you know, you got to be in the right place at the right time, but you also, when you, when you're given the opportunity, you got to take, take advantage of it. And you know, I knew fighting was, was a way in a physical game, you know, was something how I was going to get in. I was paired with Hanu Verta that year, who is just a tremendous finish defenseman and had great skills and. But he was afraid of his own shadow, you know. And we had Phil Housley that year. So Larry Playfair was, was defense, was Howie's defense partner and I was, I was Hanu's def. Defense partner. And you know, you had to as, you know, as a player playing with those guys, you had to make sure that they got the room they needed and nobody touched them.

You know, Larry, you were a big body out there, but you could still play. You were, you were tough to. I mean you weren't. So people think fight were. They're hearing fighting a lot. But you did fight, but you were a big, strong, steady defenseman. You weren't like you could play. You played, you know, a regular shift. I mean you played in the NHL. You were a presence when you were.

Out there, you know. Yeah, you had to too. Like I said, even though starting in the mid-80s, that if you couldn't skate, you wouldn't play, the referees would take care of it. So yeah, I was very lucky. I played probably top four and penalty kill, even power play. I played. It's fun to watch some of the old shows or watch the old games, but yeah, you know, you had to play. I could move the puck, I could, I could shoot the puck, but you know, it's. I'll never forget one game. So it was funny. Shoney was my coach in Rochester that didn't see me that I could play and sent me to Flint. But Shoney then was the coach two years later in Buffalo that loved me and played me to death. So it's just funny.

Probably developed a lot as well.

Well, I did. But again, he was new into coaching and he'd probably just heard from this one or that one and, and you know, then you get an opportunity to show yourself and then Change someone's perception by hard work and literally willing to go through a brick wall for your team and for yourself to be able to make the team. I'll never forget and I know you know is there at the beginning of the year, we're all living in a hotel, except for the guys that are already been there the year before and are veterans. And the best feeling as the world is when you get called into the GM's office. You don't know if you're going to Rochester or if, hey, you need to find a place. You got to get out of the hotel. And it's the best meeting you'll ever have and most rewarding. And it doesn't mean that it stops, but it means that, hey, you did something right and you're there.

You're going to be there for a little bit longer. Then just really quick, I want to get into later on in your career, you played for the Edmonton Oilers with. You played on an all star. I mean, think about then, there was no salary cap. You ended up playing. You know, I know you were in and out of lineup, but you were part of that team. On the Edmonton Oilers with Wayne Gretzky. Just share that experience with the Edmonton Oilers because I could imagine it was. I used to go to the rink earlier when we played Edmonton. I'd go earlier just to watch him practice. How was that experience in Edmonton?

It was. It was unbelievable. I mean, I remember the first game I was. I was on defense and I was with. Playing with Charlie Huddy and the Gretzky line was on. And you, you got to watch yourself that you're not a spectator. And I remember a puck got to me and I'm just like, oh, how'd they do that? And I remember Yari Kurring saying to me, when we got the bench, he goes, stevie, always be ready. This isn't Buffalo. We can get you the puck no matter where you are. You. They want you to have the puck and not us. And, you know, you'll have more opportunity to, you know, do something with it. And so I was glad he told me that right away because guys like Wayne and Mark and Glenn Anderson and Yari Curry and all those guys, I mean, they could, they could thread needles and get pucks to you. That nowhere in my career before that, it was like, yeah, that's not getting to me. But they do. And they, they're. They're just. It's an amazing talent. It was amazing chemistry and atmosphere of how loose everything was. But they just got, they played so well. Together. They just got it done.

Yeah. Yeah. And I would tell people, because I played with a bunch of them in New York, they don't look. I mean, no one looks nervous before a game. I remember in Buffalo, I mean, it's the NHL, come on. We're all. But we'd sit in there, we listen to music. It's quiet. Those guys. It was like another day with those guys. Like another day at the office. Professional, laid back. Just. It was like, really. It was unbelievable. The experience, I'm sure, for you and just. Just to be around those guys.

Well, to the. To that point, Mike. So my first game in Edmonton was with the Buffalo Sabres. And Buffalo was just. Our. Edmonton was just beating up everybody. And we played them and they put Darren Pooper in goal. It was his first NHL game. We had Poop and Barrasso, but they just wanted to change things up and see what it could do. And Poops ends up winning to nothing. Wow. And it was just. We all played, you know, because it's the Stanley cup champions. Everybody plays out of their ass when you're playing the Stanley cup champions. Me, it was my hometown, and I could have filled that rink with the amount of people that said I'd never play in the National Hockey League. So I had a lot to prove for people that were watching going, wait a minute. Yeah, this guy made it. And not only did I make it, I'm playing and I'm playing against Wayne Gretzky and Yari Curry and all those guys, and they're not making me look bad.

Well, you said it best. I mean, it's called possibilities. You made it happen. I would love to talk. We're going to get you on again because this short series of possibilities is for our listener to. To hear that I'm not going to say everything is possible, but almost anything is possible. Here you are. You end up playing for the Edmonton Oilers in your hometown. You didn't get drafted. You get a call from the Stanley Cup. Scotty Bowman, I think he has nine Stanley cup rings. I think he knows talent a little bit. I mean, so overall, you should be proud. I'm proud of you as a friend. And, Stephen, it was so great to have you on the show.

Hey, I really appreciate you reaching out and inviting me, and it's. It's been a blast. I'd love to be on anytime. And, you know. Yeah. To the. To the listeners, if you just work hard and put your mind to it, you know, anything can happen.

Stephen, thanks so much.

Thanks, Mike.

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