#7 Possibilities With Oscar Montenegro Leadership Coach Came To The USA With Not A Dime In His Pocket!

Welcome to the Mike Hartman Show. Mike is a performance coach and former Stanley cup champion with the New York Rangers. Topics on this show are focused around stories, mindset and champions. Mike will also go into details about helping you with your pain points and struggles and finding motivational solutions on how to have the mindset of a champion. Now, here's your host, Mike Hartman.

Welcome to another episode. Today I have a very special guest. His name is Oscar Montanegro. Hope I pronounced that right. It means Black Mountain. We're going to get into it. Oscar is a leadership coach. We are doing the series possibilities. I thought it was important that Oscar shares his story because he has a very inspirational story. Oscar, great to have you with us today.

Mike, I really appreciate the opportunity to be on here with you. Thank you very much.

So we're just going to get right to it. You have to share your unique story and people would love to, love to hear it.

Of course. Born in a war torn country. You know, shooting and death was very common in El Salvador in the early 80s. You know, a lot of oppression opportunities were scarce and, you know, little boys were being recruited into guerrilla warfare and little girls were disappearing without a trace. That very well could have been me and my siblings. We were pretty blessed though. We had a family member that had been in the United States for a while and was in Kansas working for the Army Corps of Engineers. And he's the one that facilitated the migration of my family. At first it was my mother that had to come up by herself. And so she had to come up for several years to establish herself and to prove that she could become a contributing member to this society. And so it was several years before our family could reunite. But once we did get to the United States, you know, it wasn't all roses. There was, there was, we were lonely because we didn't know English, we didn't have any friends. And at that time in the Midwest, the Hispanic population was very scarce. There was hardly any, anybody like us, I guess. So our family struggled, you know, to make ends meet. My parents worked low paying jobs, not because they, they wanted to or they weren't intelligent. That's just what was given to us at that time. And it just felt like we were living a barely enough life. But I know my parents had, you know, had a different attitude and, you know, it made me think, wow, what, what are the possibilities for me to elevate myself and get out of, you know, this cycle? And it just didn't seem possible at that time. Around the high school age, I remember My parents making an impression on me. They basically told us, you know, we were very blessed to be in the United States, that a lot of families didn't make it out of El Salvador in a civil war that lasted for 13 years. And basically what they tasked us with was this. You have to find your purpose. You have to find the gift deep inside you. And when you do, you have to use it as a conduit for good. And that really made an impression on me because then the possibilities started opening up for me. I thought, what is it that I'm really good at? At that time, I had really taken to sports. I was naturally athletic and fast, and I really liked soccer, and I started playing soccer. And through sport, I realized my ability to motivate and influence others. You know, it was natural for me, Mike. It was effortless that I could push others potential and their beliefs. So I started thinking about, you know, what makes people change their behavior. And it wasn't necessarily because you tell them to. It was about helping them shift their paradigms about their beliefs and about asking the right questions. And so even at this young age, I started to craft this art of asking the right questions. Once I got into my career, I continued practicing this craft and I realized through my leadership positions that, you know, you can't make people reach their potential. They really want. Have to want to do it. And it's. It's an effort in trying to break their limiting beliefs again through the possibilities that are created through paradigm shifts.

So where did that start for me? Like, where did. Like. So you came over and what people don't realize, and I can't realize it because I've never been in your shoes. And you come over with nothing. Nothing except, you know, you came over with everything. I'm sorry. You had your family, that's everything. But really monetary, monetarily wise, you didn't have a lot. And then all of a sudden you. You had this dream and there's. That anything could be possible. And was it. We call it like your. Why was it. What was that why that made you want to be like, into leadership and help people?

When I had a paradigm shift with my parents, said, listen, your. Your job is to find your gift and use it for conduit of good. That changed my perspective and my paradigm and my behavior changed. And I thought, you know what, if I can change my behavior through a shift in a paradigm, then that means other people can. And so how can I give that to other people? And so that's how it started through that conversation with my parents that anything is possible as long as you can shift your mentality into possibilities as opposed to scarcity.

Share some of the struggles that you had because you didn't wake up one day. We know you're a leadership coach. You didn't wake up one day, and all of a sudden, hey, I'm a leadership coach. And step right in. I know you're very successful. You work with some of the biggest companies in the world, and that's all fine and dandy today, but what were the struggles to get there? Because all of us have dreams, or a lot of us do. I can't speak for everybody. I know that, that I had a dream and we talked. I talked to you several times in your dreams. But. But what was some of those struggles that just to get there?

I mean, initially, obviously, you know, it's just a language barrier. You know, you don't know English. You. You have to acclimate yourself to the environment, and obviously that's a. That's a struggle. But over the years, you just, you know, the culture kind of takes over in regards to finding your way and going, where do I want to focus my time and my expertise? You know, there's always limiting beliefs, even though, you know, I teach this stuff and how to get over these barriers. I'm human. I'm not a robot. And so every now and again, you know, you. You start thinking, well, is this possible? Is it what I'm doing the right thing to do? Should I go back to doing what I was doing in corporate life? And so the struggle, mostly, Mike, is going to be mentally. It isn't necessarily what other people are saying or doing or when people tell you no, it's mostly mental. Mental barriers that get. Have been the biggest struggle. And, you know, again, it's about being able to get over that. And what I call that is mental recovery. You know, are you going to let your mental block stay with you for. For a day, a week? Or is it something that you think about for 90 seconds and then you move on and think about the possibilities instead? So. And then just getting your name out there, and then just getting your name out there, right, Getting recognition for what you do and, and not being this facade thing, you know, like all this marketing that's thrown out there. And then you get, you know, you start working with the person. It's like it's nothing what your marketing says. And so we really want to be real about what we do. And that's been difficult just to stay real to what we do as opposed to trying to jump on a bandwagon because it's popular at fad.

Well, you know, you hear so much about mental gymnastics, mental toughness, and it's hard to. I always believe, and not for everybody, that if you don't go through any adversity or any, like a transformational change, then you don't. You're not going to understand what mental toughness is, mental recovery, as you would say. And you've been through a lot. Like, you came over and you said, okay, we're coming to this country. You don't speak English, you don't know anybody. We're coming to a place that you probably didn't even know was on the map. Right. You didn't go to like, Chicago or New York City, California. And now you have to start from the beginning. And it's almost like now you're proving yourself. You're this young kid who has aspirations and dream and, and I actually, you mentioned sports, and I think that was probably. Was that a great way on how you met. Did you meet friends playing sports?

Absolutely. And, and, you know, that's where I started to hone and see the real effect of the power that I had in influencing others and, and just the leadership capabilities that I was capable of doing. Very raw, obviously, at that age. But that's where I started to realize that people will look up to me as long as I have a purpose, as long as I stay true to my values, as long as I, you know, your words have to match your behavior. And that's even very important now because if you say something and behave totally different, then your people aren't going to, to want to take your advice or, or follow you. And so that's very important. Even back then, that was important, although much more difficult because, you know, you're a teenager or whatever, and you're, you're into different things. But sport was definitely a key for me from what I want to call it a trampoline in a sense, because that's why I started to see the effect that I could have on others and to motivate and to influence and really change their set beliefs and to be able to get them to change in the middle of adversity. You've played sports and, you know, it can be tough, but you don't quit till, till the final whistle. And some people want to quit, you know, right before they hit that breakthrough. And that happens all the time. And that was happening during, on the field during those times. And, you know, who's there to pick you up. Who's there to push you through and to motivate you? And I just. It was so important for me to be able to do those types of things because I said, well, if I can do it in sport, I can do it in real life and I could do it as a career.

Wow. So, yeah, I tell my kids, too. They didn't love sports. I had, you know, my daughter was into music and writing and theater and my son. But they had to play a sport at their school. He didn't like sports either. He didn't mind it. He played lacrosse because he had to. He picked that sport. And then he tried to do pole vaulting, and he had a little bit of success with that, but overall, he didn't like sports. And they both said, are you disappointed? I said, no, that's okay. But when you're the reason why the school wants you to play a sport because it teaches you unity, it teaches you camaraderie, it teaches you leadership. And it's not about how well you do in the sport. The only thing that you could do is choose to do is, like you said, go to the whistle, don't take shortcuts, do all the little things to the best you can. And we're not trying to breed you into an athlete, but we want you to have that mindset that everything you do in your life is going to be at 100%, even if you're not good at it.

Right.

So, yeah, so. So I. I love that philosophy. Do you use sports as a way to work with some of your clients now, within leadership every now and again?

Mike? I don't like to go directly to that because a lot of people didn't play sports. Just maybe like, you know, your kids. My kids are the same way. They've played sports, but, you know, haven't taken the type of, I guess, competition like. Like I did. And so not everybody can relate to it, but, you know, everybody watches football. Everybody watches sports. And so they. They can relate to it that way. And so every now and again, if I find myself going too deep into. Look, this is the analogy. You know, I can realize that people don't quite get it. They get the surface level and what they see on television. But if they've never played sports, it could be a very difficult analogy. But it's helpful when I know somebody has played a sport because they get it. They get that, you know, you push through the very end. And this thing about getting better, which is also, you know, so popular this these days is. Is, you know, People want these home runs, Mike. They want to hit home runs every single day. And that's not what it's about. It's about. It's about hitting singles, you know, and singles win the game. I've never played baseball, but that's what I've seen. And if you can. If you can hit a single every day, you know, eventually that leads to a run. And people get really frustrated and really demotivated because they want to hit these home runs every day. And that's just not necessarily true for life or true for the normal population. Getting better. I think you'll have that huge breakthrough initially, but once you start mastering your craft, it's really about incremental detail, efforts to get better. It becomes harder to get better when you've reached this quote, unquote mastery. And after that, it gets really difficult. And some people just quit. Some people say, well, you know, I'm good at what I do and it's good enough, but it isn't. There's always that next little half an inch that you can get better at.

Well, you said it. I mean, you said. You said the magic. You said the magic thing. Like, people, it's easy to quit. I had a client that wanted to hit a grand slam right away because he needed to. He has kids and he has a family, and we're in a very tough time, and it's tough out. The world is tough. And I told him it doesn't work like that. Especially within leadership and personal development and growing. You have to chip away. And then it's gonna. It will work out. But if you try to hit a grand slam every time and you put yourself in a desperate situation, desperate people do desperate things. Right? I mean, and it's. You said it perfect. Like, you can't. You gotta hit singles. I want to ask you one thing here. Tell me a little bit. Like, I know because you work with a lot of your clients on. Tell us a little bit about mental recovery, because I've never heard that. I like that. Mental recovery. Share that with me.

Sure. I just. When I started work, and that's just something I came up with with myself, I've written about it. You know, if you go to my LinkedIn site, I've written about it. And it's this mental elasticity, in essence, you know, I think is what performance coaches would call it. But what happens is that stress could really block the creativity of the brain, obviously. And a lot of things throughout the day can get us stressed out. And most people just aren't aware that something, some event or some conversation or someone caused them stress subconsciously, they carry that around with them and it could last for days. And that really hinders effectiveness and performance and efficiency. Well, the idea of mental recover is really being acutely aware when something is affecting you negativity negatively and going, all right, red flag here. Something is affecting me negatively. And what is it? So you pinpoint it and you go, all right, is that going to matter in five years? Because if not, I'm not going to spend, you know, more than five minutes thinking about it. But what tends to happen is people tend to hold on to stress. It affects them. People hold onto it for a week, for 90 days sometimes, as opposed to going, all right, this is over. I give it 90 seconds of my time, and then I'm moving on. And that is much easier said than done. But partly that's what we try to do with our clients, is we try to give them that. That acute awareness. What's the red flags that go up in your mind that that would indicate I need to get over this thing that stressed me out, otherwise it's going to hinder me from being the best person I could possibly be.

I love it. Well, Oscar, just share with us like. So if people want to get in touch with you. Do you have a website? Do you have LinkedIn? I would love to hear how people can, you know, reach out to you if they're, if they're interested in working with you.

Absolutely. Our website is aspenbusiness.com and my email address is oscarpenbusinessgroup.com Please reach out via email. It's always. I'm always. I'm always able to access that. And those are the. That's the best way to get ahold of me.

Well, Oscar, thank you for being here. You have a. You have a wonderful story, and they say every good story has a struggle. And you came here with your family not understanding English, and now you're a leadership coach serving and helping many. Thank you so much for doing this, Mike.

Thank you for having me again. I appreciate it.

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