Mike Hartman & Orlando Morning Show Host- Discuss Performance-Life-Balance

Mike Hartman, performance mindset strategist. This is Develop the Mindset of a Champion with former Stanley cup champion Mike Hartman.

Welcome to another episode. Today my guest is Brian Orlando. Brian is a solo morning show host and broadcaster. Brian started in Atlantic City in 2005 and worked his way up to build his New York morning show, the Shark 943, and has had this show since 2014. Today, we're going to do things a little bit different on the show. We're going to talk about a topic about separating your personal identity from your work identity. And for years, Brian has interviewed me living in New York when I was with the Rangers, and after the Rangers, we would talk sports. He's got a fabulous show. So before we get into that, I want to welcome Brian to the podcast. Brian, how are you?

I appreciate it, Mike. This is a little strange, you interviewing me for a change. Since 2011, you and I have been speaking, but I've always been the one conducting the interview. So I'm a little thrown off by this.

I know. Isn't this different, you and I? It is funny. It really is. So just what we like to do is I like to welcome you to the show and I'd really like to hear your story, share a little bit about who you are, what you do, so we can hear it.

I appreciate that. So I just turned 42 years old yesterday. I've been in radio for 15 years. Before that, I've had every odd job. I tried the electrical union. I was a truck driver for quite some time with my cdl, and I was a deli clerk. I just never was able to find something that I was comfortable with. The only constant in my life was music. I knew everything about music since I was a kid. My teachers would call on me because they were presenting a lesson and I wasn't paying attention because I was writing lyrics down to my favorite song. Being a terrible musician, I needed to find some sort of way to incorporate music into what I do for a living. And every time I drove the truck, I would listen to my favorite radio stations and my favorite DJs. The DJs were the ones that got me through as much as the music. And then it dawned on me. I should be a dj, too. I wound up listening to a commercial for the Connecticut School of Broadcasting. And I entered a contest for a radio station in Philadelphia, wmmr. And they were giving away a scholarship. I wound up losing. But at that point, I was so committed to the idea that I basically robbed Peter to pay Paul, took out loans the amount I wound up paying back was more than the loan was. It didn't matter. I got my start in radio. I went to broadcasting school. One of my instructors took a liking to me and he put me on weekends in Atlantic City. And that's how it all started.

Well, that's great, Brian. That's a great story. And one thing, I know you love music. You should hear me sing in the shower. I think I'm great.

I appreciate you sparing me that pleasure for the last 10 years. So thank you.

Yeah, so we're going to get into this topic because I know I've done a lot of work with you in the past and I know a lot of your listeners and I'm going to let you take over. So separating your personal identity from your work identity. And why, why is that so important?

Well, I mean, through the last 10 years, you and I have become friends. When it first became apparent that you and I were going to have a work relationship, I would always introduce you as Mike Hartman, former 94 Ranger. And when I would talk about this with my friends who were into hockey and just who were interested in what I did for a living, you know, Mike from the Rangers, Vinnie from the band Sponge. And then I started to realize that might not be the fairest thing for you, because as we became friends, it wasn't Mike from the Rangers anymore, it was my friend Mike. And as I started to become popular on Long Island Radio and get invitations for people, hey, you should come over for dinner sometime. I started to realize I'm getting invited based on who people think I am. People are inviting me to dinner based on the friendship they forge with me in their car. But do they know who I am? And that really, that experience, when it got personal, made me realize I know you on a personal level now. You're not Mike from the Rangers. You're Mike, my friend.

That's true. People identify us with what we, what we did or what we do. How many people do you meet that when they walk up to you, hey, you know, my name is Joe Smith and what's your name and what do you do? Well, what does that matter what I do? Like, that's the part that I struggle with sometimes with people when they do that, they walk. Oh, yeah, you're Mike. You used to be a hockey player. I'm still a person. I played hockey.

See, you were a part of a lot of New Yorkers, major sports memories. We all remember the lifting of the cup. We all remember the 50 plus years, the struggle. And you were a part of a plan that brought the cup back. Now for you, your children being born. And as we talked, I've learned about your passion for being a coach and all these other things that are as important to you. For you, that NHL career is a chapter in your life. For those that don't know you, that is the biggest. That's the biggest part of your life for them. And that is hard sometimes to differentiate.

Well, it is. So let's talk about your listeners, because I know I did a show with you, and you said you had about 13,000 responses, or 13,000. I don't remember what it was. There was some crazy number. And a lot of the people really wanted to get into the importance of, like, work, life, balance and things like that. So. So I'd like to talk to you a little bit more about that.

So we put together a telethon for suicide prevention for the American foundation for Suicide Prevention. And telethon was our way here at the radio station, of letting people know that even though there was such a main focus on applauding the healthcare workers and applauding the first responders, we didn't want people to think that they were forgotten about. Those that stayed home to flatten the curve, those that did the right thing by social distancing, you know, they were taking a major hit with their psyche. Their personal lives were compromised. And I'm not just talking about not being able to have friends over. They weren't able to go to the gym. They weren't able to do the things that they used as coping mechanism. I struggled with it. You struggled with it. And that telethon was to let people know, hey, we didn't forget about you. And to see guys like Mike Hartman also struggling with isolation, to see actors and musicians sitting in their own living rooms made everybody feel a little bit more relatable. Hey, nobody has been unaffected by this thing. And we got over 13,000 views and we raised some money for the American foundation for Suicide Prevention, and you were a big part of that. Those numbers jumped when we started talking hockey because, again, people are starved for sports. They're star for interaction. And I think that's a big part of what we're talking about today. Let's relate to each other, but let's also find out what our real struggles are and who we really are as people.

That's so true. That really is true. Understanding your identity. But everybody's unique in their own way. Everybody's different. I don't think there are two people alike. There are people that have similarities within things. So let's get right into the first part of it. So we're going to talk about. You mentioned to me or offline when we were talking more about like what is work life balance. And I was never one to believe in that word, work life balance. Because it seems like you're taking all your energy into this work part of it. So I call it your performance life balance. So it's about your performance and how you perform. If you're a performer, what you do at the radio station, or if you're an athlete or you're in corporate America, it's your puff, it's your performance and how do we maximize your performance?

So I think when you find a profession that matches your personality, like I mentioned earlier, music has always been my thing. So to be able to talk about music, if I was at a bar or if I was at in school gym class and somebody was wearing a band T shirt of somebody that I liked, it was very easy for me to strike a conversation with them. And I think what you do for a living will always be the easiest thing for you to talk about because it's the thing you do the most. Even most working families, they may see their children for three, four hours a day, where at work it might be 10 to 12, maybe 15 hours a day. And that's something that I feel is easy for you to talk about. But then you run into this struggle of is that really all who I am?

Well, yeah, that's where you have to have a balance in your life. So I started with the performance and now the life part of it is your life. What do you like to do? You mentioned spending time with the family could be a part of that. It could be many, many different things within the life. That's why I call it performance life balance. And the balance part is balancing everything together. So you're balancing your work, you're balancing your life with. It could be your kids, it could be your significant other, it could be your girlfriend, it could be whoever it is. And then the balance of it is taking all that into effect and coming out with this everyday, I call it everyday ritual in your life. So you feel good. And there's a lot that comes into it. We just don't dive into it. It starts with like a plan. You need a plan. You need a plan to focus on your life. You need an exercise plan, you need a plan for your business. There's so many different fact factors that come into it. So it's not just one size fits all you have to have it structured so it fits with exactly what you want to do. And I always believe you start with a plan. And a plan is that action plan, like an exercise plan, and not just saying, oh, my goal is to do X, Y and Z and we'll get into a little bit about goals. Or my plan is to make X amount of dollars at the office. It's having that structured plan in place. Like the plan is to wake up at 6am and do your exercise. The plan is within your work to not have a cluttered desk, because a cluttered desk is a cluttered mind. So we focus on that plan. And that's the first thing that I really want to focus on.

So when you were a young athlete, you had a plan to get into the National Hockey League. And when you were in the National Hockey League, you had a plan to remain in the National Hockey League. What was your life like as you transitioned out of the National Hockey League? Because you now had all these goals that were so sports oriented, so hockey oriented, and now you have other things going on. You started your family while you were still in hockey. So did that help make it easier for you to transition out of hockey and come up with new plans that had nothing to do with your career?

The easy answer is no. And I've talked to a lot of people on this. I talked to a name who was a superstar who. I will not bring up his name. And I know some of the best names in hockey that you would ever hear, because I know that side of it, the heart. And they had all the money in the world. And the hardest thing they do is when they transitioned out of it, they had a very tough time, like the first day away. I don't want to use names because it's not right for me to do. But I do know of a player who is one of the most famous players ever to put a pair of skates on. And when, when he finished, he didn't know what to do the next day with himself. Sure, you can golf. Anybody could say, I'll know what to do. I'm going to sleep, I'm going to love it, love my life. But when you're so used to doing that one thing, that's why you need a plan. And for me, my issue was that I didn't want to be in hockey anymore. I didn't even want to watch it. I wasn't bitter. I was. I sometimes had to pinch myself, wow, look where I was. But when I was done, I wanted to get involved, own A gym. And I. And I had a lot of energy that I wanted to put into that gym to build a very successful gym. So. So that was my. My plan. And then my plan came, performance coaching after that. So for me, I had this plan. And it wasn't just, oh, here's a business plan. It was an entire plan to start from scratch. Because we're starting even as an athlete, we're starting at 35 years old. And my biggest problem was I went back, I retired early, I didn't want to keep playing, came back, went to Charlotte and the minor league team, said, hey, would you play some games for us when needed? So I did that in Charlotte, North Carolina. So one year I would play 10 games, another year 30. I didn't practice a lot after the first year. I practiced a little bit with the team, figuring it was a good way to network my business. But the inevitable was I should have stopped earlier so I could execute my plan better, if that makes sense.

It makes perfect sense because I've always run into musicians, athletes, actors and actresses that didn't have a plan post career. And that's what we're talking about today as far as separating your career and your career identity with your personal identity. Now, I've always been known as Orlando. I never had a first name. If I was called Brian, it's because I was in trouble. Everybody called me Orlando. So now I'm Orlando from the Shark. If tomorrow tragedy struck and the Shark was no more, I would be Orlando. But I would have lost my entire identity. I don't have a plan on what to do next because the Shark is really all I ever wanted to do. Music is really all I ever wanted to do. So how do you come up with ways to evolve your own work identity so that it can transition into the next personal identity?

Well, you hear a lot of the cliches. I listen to coaches, and I'm not going to talk bad about any coaches or I listen to people that say the same. It's the old cliche and it's a hard thing to do. But people would say, well, if you're working on your plan B, you're not working hard enough on your plan A. I don't necessarily, necessarily buy that because as an athlete, you only play the average is three years of a professional sport, three to five years. Unless you're a superstar. They play 10, 15, 20 at the highest level. Where the money is, is where they could retire after, where the average player has to keep working. So you have to think about your plan B, in my case, I went back to school and I just did it. Basically it was correspondence school just so I could have a piece of paper. It's something that I made a promise to myself and my mother I was going to do. But for me I had that plan B. But I knew when I was done I was fine with it. For the most part I missed playing. The most things I missed was the game. But I. But we keep going back to this, this plan. And I think it's okay to have a plan B because if you put all your eggs in that one basket and that basket breaks, then what. I see that a lot with, with people today and it's tough to do. You put all your eggs in that basket and what happens if it breaks? But you should give a hundred percent to whatever you're doing. And it's hard. A lot of people, I've been a victim of it. I've done the same thing where you're focusing on too many things and then you become the jack of all trades and the master and none. And that's where the next thing I'd like to talk about a little bit, Brian, is the rituals in life, a little bit about rituals. And rituals are important because the rituals are the exercising, are taking care of yourself, are getting away and you can't be a workaholic, you can't spend all your time on one thing. And you need the rituals that are those habitual things in your life. It could be a Starbucks, coffee, reading, walking, whatever those things are you love to do that's going to get you away from putting everything into it. Because if you. It's like an athlete, I'll use this analogy. We use a lot of athletes analogies because of being a former athlete. But if you work hard all the time, you're going to expend all your energy, you're going to develop bad habits.

Sure. So you hear so many cautionary tales about athletes from the late 70s and the early 80s who did put all their eggs into that pro athlete basket, into the major league team basket. And then as they retired, they didn't have the opportunities that today's athletes have. However, as you talk about a plan B and you talk about rituals, having some of those rituals and the importance of education and the stress of education on today's athlete. Do you feel that because today's athletes are encouraged to further their education, are encouraged to seek other rituals, that the game will evolve because you won't have so many players who have put everything into. And this goes for all, you know, all careers. It used to be that you just went nose to the grindstone to get your. Your goal. Now with the way things are expressed and encouraged, do you feel that we might see a difference in things like pro sports and pro business because you're encouraged to have a plan B?

That's a good question. And believe it or not, I don't think the professional sport teams are really worried about your education. They're not really worried about what your plan B is. The. They are great. I mean I'm very thankful for all the organizations I played. And I just did an interview with one of the former owners of the Buffalo Sabers who had the team for. Since 1970 to maybe, I think about maybe seven, eight years ago. And for. They care about you, but they only care about what you do there. You have to take it upon yourself. And we could use the word choosing to make good decisions and that's what we have to do. No matter what business you're in, you have to make good choices is the key. So that ritual is that habitual thing you like to do. The plan is part of your choices. So you have to make really good choices for you to be successful. And you. But you have to still give a hundred percent of everything you do and put it into that job. So if you're selling insurance, if you're a realtor. I used to work with a lot of dentists. I worked with many dentists and what I told them a dentist is like a sport team. The average has 10 dentists in an office to 30. And I would tell them the dentist is like the Wayne Gretzky. He's the dentist. He. He needs to focus on the people. People. It's one of the most stressful and it's a high suicide without getting too deep into that as well. But it's a very stressful job. So the dentist can't be. The office manager, can't worry about the kitchen being dirty at the practice. The dentist has to focus all of its efforts on being the best dentist they could be in that role. The hygienist has their role and so forth and so on. The office manager and even in the front desk, bringing good energy in the front desk is. We're going to go off topic a little bit. But even at the front desk, the, the you people are going to the dentist. That's the last place I want to be. I would say I would watch how they would talk to, you know, somebody that was walking through the front door to get their teeth cleaned. I would make sure that they would greet them and say to the patient, hey, good morning, how are you? The lot. And they may, they may bring bad energy because the last thing you want to do is go to the dentist. But everybody has a role and you have to fulfill that role whether you like it or not.

And that becomes a part of your identity and your identity, not just in the workplace, but who you are. I have a responsibility as a DJ because I am in the car every single day with my listeners. So when you see me out, I understand that if you stop me for dinner and you wanted to know the name of a song, you know, it is part of my responsibility because it's a part of my identity, not just my work identity, but as a person, because that's who I'm selling. I'm selling you as a person. Yeah, you know what? Let me think about that. Here's the song. If I'm a complete jerk to somebody and say I hate music, that's just what I want you to believe. They're never going to listen to me again. So to draw the line between your work identity and your personal identity, I feel like your work identity has to be an extension of who you are. So when you want to reach new goals, how did you take your identity as Mike Hartman from the Rangers into a new role and still was able to convey to people that you are a nose to the grindstone type of guy?

So what I did was I loved coaching. When I got involved with coaching, I started working. I was hired by Wachovia to work work with one of the largest groups in the world. And I've learned a lot from that group who I was working with. They were the big players and I was a person that was brought along. And I've worked with franchise companies, different businesses, without naming it, but I'll tell you what I learned was taking what I've learned as an athlete and applying it to life. Because it's the same thing, taking what you know and applying it to what you're doing. So I went to a dental practice in Lynchburg, Virginia and I watched this. The. The office, 30 people working. It was a big practice and really nice people in it. And I watched what they did and I. And they were the most successful practice in Lynchburg, Virginia. It was about a two hour drive from Charlotte. But what this dentist did, I call it the little things in details. So if anyone's going to listen, whatever they do, you have to go out of your way. So I believe in stories. I'm Going to tell you two stories. Here's the first story. The first story is this person goes in to the dentist and has to get some teeth pulled. Who wants to do that? So what the dentist does is makes the patient feel really comfortable in the chair. Now leans the chair back, turns on a movie, joking with the patient. Now the patient has a little smile on her face. She feels better now. She's sweating. And now that the dentist went over and the hygienist and brought her a nice cool towel. The point is, the dentist did all of these little things that an athlete would do like, like a Wayne Gretzky. I just talked to Pierre Turgeon yesterday. He, they FaceTimed me. He and Stephan Matteo, we're joking around and we're gonna get both of them together. But Pierre did all the little things, right? First pick overall, you think, oh, he's not going to work hard. He worked all day long on, on hit on doing little things from the side of the neck. And he pucks around the boards taking face offs. It's the same thing as that dentist did. And I'll share one more story because everything is about a story. That's how I like to coach. I was coaching this realtor, and the realtor wasn't making any sales at all. And the realtor was also on the board in their neighborhood. And being on the board, the real he was able to share with what he did. So being in that big neighborhood in Charlotte, a lot of houses were selling. This older lady, I don't want to go by age. She was much older. She wasn't able to lift a lot of things. That's the point. So they, she was putting her house up for sale, but it was a disaster and he didn't want to take it on. And I said, wait a sec. You tell me you don't have any sales. What do you mean you don't want to take it on? He says, I don't have time to do it. What do you mean you don't have time? I don't get it. Well, the place is a mess. And by the time she has somebody because she can't move the stuff. She was in her 80s by the time she moves everything out of the place and or has somebody do it, it's going to take a while. I said, no, you're going to do it. You're going to take a Saturday and you're going to do it. To make the long story short, he does it. They get it cleaned out. Boom. He makes a sale on the house. Because that's all they had to do. And he had some people come and pick it up, and he spent a little of extra time, maybe a little of his own money, and he actually did it, cleaned up the place, painted it, did everything that a realtor is not supposed to do because it's not in the wheelhouse. And this. And look what happened at the end. And he was referred three other deals, and that's what people look at. Everyone looks at the immediate effect, oh, am I going to get paid for this right away? But no, you might be referred. Something might good come from it. So those two stories stick with me a lot. It's called the Little Things in Details.

So as we approach the end of this thing and dissect how to separate your work identity with your career identity, it seems that hard work, it seems that thinking outside of the box, it seems that doing the things that other people wouldn't do make you successful in your career. And what you described is what I look for in friends. I don't want to have the same boring, redundant conversations over and over again. And people that can only talk about the past because what they did when they were 16 was the most important thing in their life. I want people just like that Realtor, just like that dentist who can, you know, stimulate my life and broaden my horizons. So as you go through life, from Mike Hartman, former New York Ranger, former champion, to Mike Hartman, coach, do you seek out these types of people and are they different from the people that you've seeked out when you were a player?

Not really, because when I was a player, I had a different mindset, and we talk a lot about mindset. So as a player, I was more stressed. I had to make sure that I always ate well, took care of myself, felt guilty if I had a hot fudge sundae once in a while. I was neurotic, and I was a nervous type of guy because my job was always on the line. I wasn't a superstar, where now I've learned that I will work with anybody and want to help anybody. And we. You mentioned it early, and we got away from it. But there's goals. So we talked about a plan, which is something actionable. We talked about ritual that is habitual, having a coffee, reading the paper, playing with your kids, whatever that is that makes you feel good. And now we need a goal. And what happens in soccer if you play with a bunch of friends outside or in hockey and you take the goals away? What happens, Brian?

You lose the ability to compete.

You have Nothing to shoot for. It's boring, right? So. So I'm going to get into a measurable goal. A measurable goal is something that's attainable, that we could achieve today. If somebody said, well, my goal is to get a job in the next week. Okay, that's measurable because what are you going to do to get a job? Now the short term goal is three months out. I always go for a three month span, one to three months as a short term. The vision goal, and you keep talking about it, is that dream. Where do you want to be? What is that dream? What's, what's at the end of the rainbow? So I like the measurable goal, the short term goal, the vision goal. When I talk about goals, sometimes people just have goals. Like, oh, my goal, especially around New Year's, my goal is to lose 20 pounds. Well, that's, that's like a vision goal. But how are you going to do it? You want something that you could put action to it, right?

Are you going to do keto? Are you going to join a gym? Are you going to increase your cardio? Right. There has to be a plan behind it. And that is the type of person that I have been gravitating towards, those that can help me with those goals.

That's right. And that's what you have. You have somebody that can help you if it's. I'm not going to promote any one thing. It's whatever you. I like to find good professionals that have a real good background. And it. So if somebody wanted to hire me to help them with baseball, I'm not the right guy. If somebody wants me to help them with the financial side of things and talk about the stock market and talk about the economy, I know enough to be dangerous. I'm going to get, get myself in trouble. And them. I always stick to what I know well and I've taken what I've learned in sport and in life because I've had a really good education and some of my stakes, my mistakes that I've, that I've had and I want to make sure that you don't have the same mistakes. All of us make mistakes, all of us, we fail at things. Doesn't make us a failure. So we want to take these things, use them through stories to help yourself and help yourself get to where you want to be.

It sounds to me like you've mastered the art of separating your work identity with your personal identity. Mike.

I try. I'm a victim of it. I do. Sometimes a coach needs a Coach. I've had coaches. You do. I'm one that is sometimes taken on more than I could handle. I know here in New York, I had at one time three different companies talking to me and I said, yeah, I'll do it. They all, they wanted it around the same time. They wanted me to speak and help them do a performance life balance program. But then I realized, wait a sec, I can't do that. I'm spreading myself too thin and I'm not going to be able to give 100% to the company that I'm making this promise to. So sometimes what we do is sometimes we over promise and under deliver. And I've learned that, you know what I have to do, I have to not over promise. I have to do exactly what I, what I say I'm going to do. And that's how I just live my life. I've never mastered anything. I'm learning every day. I learned from our guests, I've learned from you. And over the years I've, I was always excited to be on your show. Now I'm talking your interview still, you're still interview. You're still turned around that you're interviewing me. But I've always loved being on your show and it's, it's, it's been great.

It was definitely an experience. I mean, if anything, this was a turning point and a proud moment for me from all the times that you've asked me about broadcasting. Now you're hosting your own show. So I couldn't be prouder to be on this one.

This all happened by accident. I, not this, but the whole podcasting. People have been talking to me for years about it and I've done some stuff even with the New York Rangers over the years where I have the microphone and I'm not afraid to get up and speak. I like it, but more so I'm just trying to be real with myself. I'm not one of those shows that's going to produce bad language or I'm not going to use names because I don't believe in hurting others and under any circumstance. So I love helping people and what I'll share with people. If anybody wants to get in touch with me and it's again, they can go to imotivatorsacademy.com and I have a lot of motivational quotes there. I have a free book there. They could even book a 15 minute strategy session if they want because now I'm back doing one on ones again along with things. So it's lettering. I M O T I V A T o R S A C-A--E-M-.com Shoot me a message. And if I could help you in any way, I'd love to do that.

Mike. I appreciate you having me on. I really enjoyed this today.

You know what? It's not over. Because we're going to be doing more of these. You just don't know it yet.

Send me the invitation and I'm in.

Thanks, Brian. Thanks for being on, Mike.

Have a great day. Take care.

You too.