Part 2-Robert Langley - Homeless To Be Told He Has 5 Years To Live!

Mike Hartman, performance mindset strategist. This is develop the mindset of a champion with former Stanley cup champion Mike Hartman. Welcome to another episode. And we have Bob Langley again, my good friend Robert Langley. And, and what we're going to do is I think it's important that people know that sometimes life isn't always as we planned it. And I'm going to take us back. I have Bob with us here. And Bob, good to have you on again.

Thanks, Mike.

So I want you to take us back because everything sounds so great. Like it's like when we watch Facebook, we always hear and see the great point. Oh, boy, this couple looks so happy. Oh, guess what? They're divorced the next day. And again, everything, what we do is around stories, mindset and championship. But I think the story is so important. So I want you just to take us back to the coaching because I think everybody should hear this. And it's important that we all have setbacks. Some of us go through many different things. But just take us back to your coaching days.

Well, as I said, you know, when, when I coaching kind of found me, I never decided that I wanted to do coaching. I was really lost in the sense that I had plans and, you know, I had started the paper shredding company in Atlanta and suddenly I'm in a trauma hospital. You know, remember the saying, you know, man makes plans and the gods laugh? Well, this, this was, you know, you know, really what I was living out. And so I was lost and stumbled across coaching at a, at a time when it was just emerging. And now it's an overused word, quite frankly. You know, people are claiming to be coaches and hanging out their shingles for everything, but I was lost. And so, you know, the coaching program that I went into was based upon transition and I was going through change. I was going through not superficial change, but I was going through dramatic change. And so, you know, I had, as I said, you know, I had, I sold my business, I had paid off my home and suddenly I'm having to live off the proceeds and I'm in a trauma hospital with, you know, a spinal cord injury. And every day I've got a one year old son and my marriage of one year collapsed gloriously. And, you know, I'm lost because, you know, I didn't have the business that I, I had and now the business I was moving into, I, I couldn't move forward and I sold the assets too. And so, you know, I decide, you know, I'm asking myself, as a lot of people are Today, you know, like, what's my purpose in life? And, you know, what is. What is, you know, how can I best use my talents and skills? But, you know, in terms of following callings, you know, they say when you, you follow a calling, that the devils of hell are unloosed against you to test your resolve to see if it's a true calling. And this is really what happened with me in coaching and transition. So suddenly I'm in a trauma hospital. I'm dealing with the, you know, great loss of health. I go through a divorce and the loss of that. But more was happening. You know, my father had had a stroke not long after and has lost his peripheral vision. Later on, he had had a. Another stroke and ended up in the hospital where three years later he would pass away. And, and for me, I, I made a decision when I was working, doing the corporate work, which was, you know, very good in terms of my, my, my benefit, my pay scale. And, and, you know, I was on my way back. I was trying to climb my way back, and I was. But my dad has a stroke and I'm, I'm in the hospital and I know I can lose him. And something happened to me, you know, in that hospital. Is that my dad's? You know, it's not a, it's, it's not a pretty picture I paint, but all of my dad's, you know, bodily functions were no longer in his control. And so, you know, you know, his bowels released and the nurses came in and there was three of them cleaning my father. And, and I was behind a curtain on the other side. And I remember saying, you know, that's my father. Like, that's my dad. Why am I not taking care of him? Why am I not doing that? And something changed in me that day. And I said, you know, I will take care of my dad. And so for really about the next two and a half year years, I stayed in the hospital with my dad for sometimes 10, 11, 12 hours a day. And I started taking him out on adventures. And, you know, sometimes those adventures were just lying on a. On a blanket, staring at clouds. Other times they were, you know, going out into the country and listening to Neil Diamond Hot August Night, the way we did when I was a kid. And he used to take me down the country roads in Alberta, listening to this and let me drive, you know, his car when I was 10 years old. So. But this was, this was its own ordeal. And, you know, I share that story because people, people say to me sometimes, they say, wow, there's a place for you in heaven, Bob, for, you know, the way you showed up for your dad. And I say, no, you got it wrong. This was not about me. I got more from my dad than I could ever give back. And so this wasn't about me at all. I mean, I enjoyed the time with my father. It was, you know, it was painful and beautiful at the same time. And, you know, ultimately, you know, I lost my dad. And so it didn't end there. You know, suddenly I'm out of money, my dad's passed away, and probably 10, you know, the dominoes start to fall, and I find myself homeless about 10 days after my dad dies. And I hadn't been taking care of myself and. And I get a. What I thought was a cold. And I go to the doctors and. And they tell me I've got pulmonary fibrosis. And, you know, it's five years to live. And, you know, I didn't even. I think I was just numb. But they called me back and said, we're going to send you for a CT scan. And so I go for a CT scan, and they say, you don't have pulmonary fibrosis, but you have 12 nodules in your lungs. So we're going to put you on a cancer protocol. And part of that protocol was to come back in another month or two for another scan. So I go back for the scan, and a month later, and now I have no symptoms. And they tell me, you know, we found an aneurysm in your heart. And so now I've got this aneurysm in my heart. They're saying that where I was fused at C3, C4 is now buckling below. So, you know, I'm not. I'm not really getting a lot of good news. And, you know, three times I'm told, you know, that I've got something that's terminal. And, you know, so that was what was going on for me. And, you know, it certainly changed me. It certainly changed me and gave me a different view on life as those experiences, you know, you know, tend to do. I ended up. I ended up in a. And I can tell you, and I share it. I haven't shared this story with many people because I felt like, you know, a lot of these stories are not stories that I felt were stories. They were sacred stories, something between me and another person. And I, you know, for many years, I didn't feel that they were the type of story that, you know, you put out on a blog or something that way. And it's only because of other people encouraging me that's given me the courage to share it. But one of those stories was I was in a. I was in a shelter for three months and. And this guy comes up and sits next to me and he's a rough looking dude and he looks like he's a skinhead. His nose has been battered. And he comes and sits next to me and says, what are you doing here? You don't belong here. And I said, well, we've all got our story. And he goes, yeah, well, he says, you know, you'll get beyond it. I can tell you're a. Somebody says, me, it's my 38th birthday. He says I'm a piece of shit. And he says, my mother dropped me off in Hamilton at 14 years old in a shelter. And I'd been in and out of prison and different places for most of my life. And I didn't say anything to him, but I went down to Loblaws, which is a grocery chain here in Canada, and I went down to Loblaws and I said, hey, listen, I met this homeless guy today, and it's his birthday. Would you donate a cake? So the guy says, well, I'll tell you what, I'll pay for half the cake. So I said, okay. So I pay for the other half. Now I've got a cake. And I go to Fortino's, which is Loblaws competition, and I walk into Fortino's with the cake and I said, listen, you know, I met this homeless guy today, and it's his 38th birthday. Your competition gave me this cake. Is there anything that you guys would like to donate? So he takes me and he gives me a $75 credit card. And the next thing you know, I'm shopping and I'm buying steaks and food. I'm going back to the shelter, giving it to the chef at the shelter and saying, would you throw a birthday party for. For this guy Jacob? And so, you know, one of the things that, you know, when I look back on it is I started to live in a way that, you know, it's a. It's a Hindu idea. You know, it says, find joy within the sorrow. To find joy within the sorrow. And so I started to do that. I started to look at my life as an adventure. And. And when my dad was in the hospital, he couldn't tie his shoes anymore. And. And it was really frustrating him. And he had these frustrations that came with, you know, he was a proud, independent man. And. And my imagination kicked In. I said, you know what dad, listen, I'm going to go out and I'm going to find a solution for you. And so I went and found these shoelaces where you just pull on them and then they, they snap back, you don't have to tie them. And now my dad was independent again. He could just pull on them and you know, he could tie his own shoes essentially. And then he couldn't actually phone and, and, and get help or call us when he felt like he needed us. So I got one of these great big phones with the great big phone numbers on them and I color coded all of them and they all had the same number, essentially speed dialed. And I said, if you want to call, just push that, that, that, you know, the red one and it'll call me. And so it was really big and he could see it and he would call me. I said, dad, I'm your 30 minute miracle. I said, if you've got something that's really bothering you, just call me and I'll try and solve it in 30 minutes. And so I started to take on what I would call an imaginative way at approaching life. And all of a sudden the frustration was becoming a challenge. A challenge for me. Let's see if I can solve this in 30 minutes. And not to say that everyone can solve their problems in 30 minutes, but it's a nice way to look at life, you know, take it on. But more importantly is that, you know, you're talking about coaching and you know, I was just talking to a kid and he says he's a life coach. He's telling me he's a life coach and he's 24 years old, he's still living in his parents basement, he's never moved out. And I'm saying, you know, so what programs have you gone through? I haven't gone through any. He hasn't been coached, he hasn't been trained. And I'm going, well, what life experience have you had? And you know, the answer is none. And if you were to ask me, by the way, I mean after my neck injury I read over 500, at least, at least 500 books. Yeah, I read Frederick, I, Fred, the philosophy is Frederick Nietzsche, Carl Jung. The program I went to was very, very extensive. But I would never point to any of those things in terms of trying to be what I would call a skilled helper with people. What I would turn to is say I've suffered and through that suffering build empathy and that you have picked yourself up off the bottom more than once and that you've confronted life and stared it down. And that in moments of choice, you made the choice that was the right choice when the other choice might have benefited you more. In other words, that you were willing to sacrifice something for a greater good. You know, those are the things that make people skilled helpers. Or within aboriginal cultures they would say an elder. You know, an elder is someone that has gone through the struggles of life and still validates life, still says to the young people, notwithstanding these difficulties, life is worth living. That's the definition of an elder. An elder is somebody who is able and has lived long enough to see the cycles of life and to know that following the darkness comes the light. And so hang on, hang on, because it's not over yet. Those types of. That's something only experience can teach you. And my philosophy of life, what has changed in me, Mike, is that I'm not trying to be successful anymore. I'm trying to be interesting. You know, I, I would rather live an interesting life than a successful life. Especially by the narrow standards that typically people are, are living today. Right. You know, I got the car and the job and I got, you know, a blog following and so many likes on Facebook, etc. This is such a narrow definition of, of life, right?

Well, this is mind, this is like mindset stuff and this is stories and, and, and how you turned out to be a champion. Because we are going in different directions. But you were homeless. You, you've, you go from a big skyrise apartment condo that you owned in Toronto to, to building your parents basement without getting rid of that. Your father passes away, then all these other things come about in your life and then this is going through the trenches. When somebody says adversity, you've been through so much that when somebody tells you, oh, I'm, let me help you. I'm, I'm 23 years old and we're not judging by ages. There's some, could be some great coaches that are 23, but it's really hard to, to listen to that. And, and somebody told me before, it's like, would you rather be interested or interesting? And it's so funny because sometimes I meet people and it's all about themselves and the true champion doesn't do that. Because you mentioned this. We listen to Adam Graves, we listen to Stefan Matteo, we listen to a lot of these champions. Orion, Walter. It can, it can go on and on. Brian Prop. I mean everybody I had, and I brought these people on because I had relationships, but they've never talked about themselves. I had to pull it out of them. It was tough. And because I, I'm talking to, you know, each, each episode is different. Like, it could be a mindset episode or stories like this, but your story, it never hurt me so much when, when I found this out because I couldn't get in touch with you. This was years ago. We're going back 10 years, everybody. So 10 years ago, I go, where's Bob? I can't get in touch with him. And finally you had your cell phone and you said, I'm living in, by Lake Ontario in a tent. And I said, yeah.

I, I, I, at one point in time, like, I, I thought, okay, I think I'm, I felt like, I felt like I was gonna, My time was limited and I couldn't, I needed to. And I've spoken to others that have done the same thing, but I needed to escape the Matrix, you might say. And I went and lived in a tent basically in the wilderness for like four months by myself. And, and you know, the funny thing is, is, is, you know, even you asked me, respectfully, Bob, do you want to talk about that part of my life? I'm saying, my God, I would rather talk about this part of my life than, than the highs of my life. Because the, the irony is in all this is that in all these instances, you know, there's, there's some people that says, oh, poor you. And I'm like, I was kind of like that. Like, I'm like, oh, my God, like, where am I? I'm alone in a tent in the wilderness. And then something happened. I'm going, wow, it's so peaceful in the morning, and the birds are waking me up, and at nighttime it was still and, you know, the stars above me, and, you know, I'm like, wow, this is pretty good. Like, this is actually, you know, quite great. And the funny thing, so that's what I would prefer to talk about, is say, hey, listen, we gather and people unite around shared difficulty. This is what brings people together. And to know that you're not alone is a very powerful message for all of us. And the sad thing is that Facebook and all these social networks have people doing what Gary Vaynerchuk says, you know, fronting themselves. You know, if I hear one more person say, well, you know, I'm like the, the, the, the, the trainer of, to the stars, you know, to the Hollywood celebrities, and, and even to the degree where people are saying, you know, yes, I coach at the highest level, et cetera, et cetera, they're fronting themselves. And. And to me, you know, some things have become really basic in life when you. We get people coming into our lives and we can't figure them out. We're trying to figure them out like we're Freud. But it's become really basic for me. Is that when people come into my life, I ask myself, you know, are they. How do I feel? Is it positive or negative? And is that energy going higher or lower? And that's a great one, but a really wonderful one, is that I love the people that. There's two types of people. There's the type of person most today, they walk into a room and they go, here I am. And then there's the second type of person that walks in a room and they go, there you are. Right? And so I love the people that walk into a room and go, there you are. You know, there's something that just feels better about that. Healthier. The people that can attend to another person instead of fronting themselves all the time. Like I call them poodles on their hind legs, you know, up in their hind legs turning like poodles trying to get a doggy treat and asking people, could you please remember to like me? I mean, how do you. How can you do that? How can you. You beg people to like you. You know, you can only behave yourself into that.

And. And people are begging for likes everywhere. That's a whole other episode. But. But one thing to do is what. What I learned is somebody told me this, a very successful guy once very successful in. In his life and has had also many setbacks and he wasn't successful. He says, you always judge people by. By a few different things when it comes to money and if their character changes. And I don't want to go too far off topic, so if, when money is involved, you could really see the character of that individual. And the other thing is not literally a Mercedes or a fancy car or whatever it is, or a fancy house, but how do they react when that's taken away, right? And I've seen. I've seen athletes go south. I. I don't want to say names because it's not my place, but NHL guys first round picks people. Some people know who I'm talking about is still homeless and didn't raise his hand for help. And then I have a guy like Stepan Matteo, who scored the biggest goal in Ranger history, and everyone loves him for that. And on the 25th anniversary, he said to everybody in the newspaper, said, boy, how does it feel? He says, you want to Know how it feels. He said, I'm a recovering alcoholic, but I put myself through Alcoholics Anonymous. I raised my hand to get help, and I realized that people looked at me as Stephon the hockey player and not Stefan the person. And if anybody would ever meet him and forget about how much money he has or had or anything else, he does well. But my point is, it wasn't even about that. He had this whole identity thing going on in his life. And with. When everyone was celebrating the 25th, he was honest and said, listen, I've been. I struggled for a while. I struggled after so many years, even in my. My hockey career, I didn't score. And people looked at me what happened? And other people said, well, were you upset that your son didn't get drafted? He has a son with Stephon, the same name, and. And the Rangers could have drafted him. And he was so happy, I think, when the Rangers did not draft him, he's now playing in Columbus. He went to the Devils and was in the Miners for a bunch of years. Now he's. He was back up with the Columbus Blue Jackets. He said to me, no, I didn't want the pressure for him and go through that. So people really don't. They don't see it behind the curtain. You know, how it looks isn't the way it always appears. And I think with you, with that person that was sitting next to you in the homeless shelter or where you were, you. You're. You're six foot two, you're fit. Maybe you don't look the part that would be there, but there was no hiding behind a mask, and you're not hiding now. And I think I have to respect that.

Yeah, well, I mean, you know, the question that we all need to confront is, you know, what. What sustains us when all has been lost? That's, you know, that's who you end up. That's who you really are. That's what really has value for you. And I got to tell you, the more common theme that I see today is people that have everything but have nothing. And there is a big difference between success and fulfillment. And we need to have conversations about what is it that really feeds our souls and what are the things that sustain us when all the material has been taken away? Because that's the story of life. You know, we all end up, as one nurse said to me in the hospital, there was a saying. He was an Iranian guy, and he said, you know, we have a saying. It says, you know, we all end up walking at the end of this life. Hands in the air, empty. And so, you know, we need to take that, take care of that part of our lives and have that conversation and make it real like we need to. You know, they say of Epictetus, which it was a stoic in ancient Greece, that he was a man of substance, but he practiced some of the ascetics. In other words, he sometimes would sleep on the floor without a mattress, and he would wander through life without a penny in his pocket. And so these things also have gifts to share with us. I tell people that, you know, life is a setup. Life is a setup. And the reason I say that is because it will move you along in two ways. What I call the call and the fall. And that's the great thing, is that even when we fail, life is pulling us in a direction. Even when we fail, it gives us an opportunity to see things from the depths. I remember when I was 30 years old, I went to Cancun and I went scuba diving. And the water there is very clear. And so I had only done snorkeling prior to that along the surface. And all of a sudden I was on the bottom, you know, at 30, 60ft, looking up. And the view is just much different from the depths. And so, you know, that's kind of one of the perspectives I have, is that, you know, an interesting life includes a perspective from the depths. It's the thing that brings depth of soul, you know, soul to blues and soul music. It's the thing that gives richness to life, is that you have had the depth experience, and you're not going to have that if you're on the surface of things. You're not going to have, for example, a depth relationship if you're swiping left and swiping right and thumbs up and thumbs downing your way through the world. Right? You need to get to know somebody. You need to. They say that, you know, what sustains life is when it's not love, but when you find your partner fascinating. You know, I like that. It's like, wow, what makes you tick? I want to. I want to forever, each day in my life forevermore. I want to be trying to find out, baby, what makes you tick.

I love that. And the last few minutes, if we're going to give it. I don't give advice. That's the wrong word. Lawyers give advice. We're not. Go consult your. Your lawyer. But. But one thing that.

That.

That I have done, and I noticed that, you know, in my life, when. When I downsized, I. I had the big house here I had the house on the lake. And then I, then I moved and then I lived in New York and I said, how am I going to live in a small place? Because I wasn't sure how long I was going to be there. And when I minimize things in my life, I felt better. Like it was great. And, and, and I'm starting to do that with the littlest things. So what, what I'm even focusing on in my personal life is like, well, I have all these apps on my phone and, and it almost, it doesn't cause me to stress out or anything. But I'm looking at all the app, do I need every little app I have Voxer to, to you name it, all these apps that I think I don't, don't need. So as soon as I minimize things within my life, I feel better. You know, there's a bunch of things that, you know, there's clothes that I haven't wore shoes and we have all these different things minimizing things. Some could be a help to some. So when people tell me, hey, I'm stressed out, I'm overwhelmed, start taking things off your plate. Hey, Bob, I'm the first one to tell you, sometimes I used to put too much on my plate. Somebody would come to me and say, hey, even with a podcast, hey, we want to sponsor this show, we want to help you. And at first I'm saying, wow, this is great. Then I said, you know what? I'm not ready for that. I'm really not. I'm ready to just to help people, lead people, bring people on like the Bob Langley's and professional athletes and hey, if it goes there, great. But I'm not, I'm not ready to do that. And because it's just adding more to my plate.

Yeah. You know, remember in the Bible it says more things, more worms, more rich is more worms. And there's a cost to, there's a heaviness to our possessions. I think probably the scariest thought in the world for a lot of people is to say, okay, you have to move. And that means, you know, the first thought they think of is the garage that's filled up with stuff. You know, I know what, there's one day out of the year here where I live, where the garbage truck will come, come around and take almost everything that you put out, you know, onto your, your, onto the curb. And, and that's the day that everybody's garage doors go up and they're filled. Right. They're just filled with stuff. And so the homes we have have become containers. I love. One of the things I love about going on the adventures are going and doing ultra endurance cycling where, you know, you might ride 300 miles in a day is it's all about getting light and, and being self sustaining. So when we went and did, you know, adventures out in, whether it was going down the Grand Canyon or the forest of Algonquin, you could set up your, your tent and your pack your bed, your home, your kitchen and, and live there and pack it all up in 15 minutes and be gone. Right?

Like the little home. I'm gonna, I'm gonna conclude with this because you said something to me once that, that it just touched home and we talked about nature. Now people have said, boy, this is like a little unusual than you're used to talking about on the air, but I love talking about. These are stories, people. These are stories, everybody. So, you know, one thing you said to me before that I was talking about, boy, it's beautiful up in Asheville and the mountains are, are, it's really pretty here out in North Carolina, yet you have to experience it. And then we talked about another performance coach we could call it, or a personal development coach was talking about, enjoy the beauty here. The, you know, listen to the trees, close your eyes, you'll hear the wind. And you said, wait a sec, Mike, I love all these people. I love what you talked about. Asheville, going to visit, but trust me, try living there for a while. Try spending four months in a place where you have to figure out where you're going to get your next meal from. And some of the best conversations I had was sitting next to people who I would meet there, they may have been homeless and we would share stories about different things in life. They didn't want anything from me. They didn't want to take anything from me. I didn't want anything from, from them. It, their company was just enough. And that, that always, that always stuck with me. I thought about that and it was a place for you to clear your mind. Now I'm not recommending that people go live in the woods by Lake Ontario for four months, but it really hit home because you've experienced nature, you've experienced that and you have to share that a little bit with everybody because I thought that was, that has, that was 10 years ago. You told me that that stuck with me for a long time.

Well, you know, nature, of course nature was something that, you know, I built into. You know, I, when I say built into the programs I did, I was just following shared knowledge, you know, passed down knowledge. And so, you know, we have to remember that, you know, we don't go into nature. We are nature. And, you know, as Joseph Campbell said, you know, we need to be able to align our nature with nature. And why that's an important conversation today is because we're getting farther away from it and we're, we're starting to feel and align ourselves more with technology. And we know this because somebody says to me, bob, I don't have the bandwidth for that, the emotional bandwidth. We've started to use narrative that's more technical. And the thing is, you know, we. What if I could speak to something in terms of your, Your, your audience or your followers, Mike, is that these are, these are difficult times, man. It's time to dig in, right? These are, these are unprecedented times. Lots is going on and people are struggling. And I hear lots of different stories of sorrow and struggle every single day from the rich and the poor and, and, you know, about mental health and mental illness and all that. And here is the thing. My message is that, you know, nature is the great. What the aboriginal cultures called big medicine. That's big medicine. And so we need, you know, people said, why? You know, I'm just not into camping. I worry about that person. You know, I'm not, I don't, I don't trust that person.

Now, we have to keep it real here because my philosophy of coaching is different than yours. Not that mine's better mines, but we used to, we would argue for like 30, 45 minutes because we would go, I'd go for a walk and we, we would argue because I would, I would say, I'm having my, my ritual. And I was just going to say that on the ear. This is what made me think of this. And we could share with, with, with my audience what I'm talking about. So one of the funny things is I said, boy, I'm. I'm walking here. I, I get off the phone with you. I said, bob, I can't talk to you. I'm going for my walk on this greenway. It's beautiful in Charlotte. It's like four mile, you know, beautiful trees. In fact, I just got to watch out for the snakes. But it's, it's wooded. People jog in there. And it's my favorite thing to do is my ritual. And you said, that's not your ritual. I said, yes, it is. No, it's not. Yes, it is. So we, we go back and forth. So as much as we love each other all these years. There's probably once a week where we really go at it. On the coaching side, share my. My ritual is something that's habitual, that people say, hey, this is a ritual. This is what I like to do, Which I still believe in.

What?

Sure. We have two minutes to give me the two minute skinny version of the Bob Langley ritual, because you've read many books, so you know where I'm going with this.

Well, ritual, you know, is the enactment of a myth. The ritual. A ritual, by definition, is something that has a sacred component to it. And so when you ritualize something, the goal of any ritual is to transition you, usually from the profane, secular world into something that is considered sacred. And it's also to transit you emotionally, psychologically, into a different state of being. And so I understand why people are saying this, but they're saying it in a secular way. They say, well, my ritual is to grab a cup of coffee on the way to work. And that's the way that they. They transition from home life to their work life. But by definition, a pure definition of what ritual is, it has a sacred component to it. And generally, it's the enactment of a myth that's taking you through a process that transits you. And I think we did that that day. We looked up and you said, okay, wait a minute, I'm going to look up the definition. And of course, that was the definition of it. Right, right, right. But.

But my perceptions. But go ahead. My perception was different. And we. I love arguing with you because I was. But in a good way, because we would. All next day, we would forget about the argument. But because we. We both have different views on how we do it. But that's okay. But keep going, keep going.

Yeah, well, hey, listen, put it this way, let's put it this way. It's no different than people saying that the words have become very, very powerful lately. Narrative has become powerful. And so it's kind of a mute point to argue. You know, someone says, you know, I have 12,000 friends. Let me put this. Let me put this into context. Someone says to me, yeah, Bob, I got 12,000 friends. And I say, no, you don't. And we know what we're talking about, right? We're talking about. Oh, you mean Facebook friends. You know, the word friendship has been diluted so much that it's ubiquitous. It means nothing. Right. To me, a friendship is a sacred thing. And so a lot of times when I talk, I'm going back to original definitions that still have the sacred component in it founded in our roots of who we are in terms of our humanity. And this is one of the things that I think that we all need to do is, is bring back the sacred into our lives. It's missing.

I agree, Bob.

I agree.

Well, hey, this was, this was fantastic again. I know. You know, we, we talked on the year a week ago and you said, you know, I want to tell people the, the hardships. I want to share everything else because we just made a little introduction and we're going to be doing many different talks, help people along the way. Hey, thank you for this. I love you like always. I'll call you this week and one of those days you and I will maybe argue about something, but argue is maybe a bad word to use, but we'll agree to disagree. Bob, thanks so much for coming.

All right, Mike, thank you. Okay.