Tina Marx Mindset & Transparency!

Welcome to the Mike Hartman Show. Mike is a performance coach and former Stanley cup champion with the New York Rangers. Topics on this show are focused around stories, mindset, and champions. Mike will also go into details about helping you with your pain points and struggles and finding motivational solutions on how to have the mindset of a champion. Now, here's your host, Mike Hartman.

Welcome to another episode. Today, my guest is high performance coach Tina Marks. Hello, Tina. How are you?

I'm doing great, Mike. How are you?

I'm doing really well. It's really great to have you here. So we do a lot of these podcasts, and, you know, it's. It's called the Mike Hartman show, but it's focused around stories, mindset, champions. And I know you have a huge following. You're a coach. You help out many people. It's your passion. So let's talk. I'd like to hear a little bit about your story, share it with us. And, you know, we love to hear it. So shoot away. Let's hear it.

Okay, so, like, what. How I got to. How I got into coaching. Is that where you want me to start? Or like.

Yeah, yeah, your story. Like, tell us who you are, a little bit about who you are, how you got involved with coaching.

Okay, perfect. Well, I have been coaching on and off for pretty probably 12, 15 years. And, you know, when I was younger, I always knew that I wanted to help people. And this was way before coaching. This is when there was psychologists, and I just, you know, I didn't like school, and I did not want to go through that many years of school. So, you know, I went from job to job. And, you know, it's funny, my family thought I was flaky, and it was just, you know, I just really wanted to find my purpose. I was not driven by money. I just wanted to find something that, like, fulfilled my soul, where I really feel like I made a difference or I felt fulfilled. So I found metaphysics, the teachings of metaphysics, and I studied that, and I got my practitioners, and then I got my master's degree in that, and then I got my certification for life coaching. And so I was. I was coaching. And I've always been, I think, really connected to my clients. But at that time, I, you know, is one thing having a client, it's another thing getting a client. So, you know, there's the marketing involved and there's a sales involved, and, you know, I just really was not prepared for that. So, you know, I kind of went in and out, so to speak, you know, Because I had to put food on the table. I have a 16 year old son. I've been a single mom since he was five and a half months. So somewhere in between there I wrote my first book which is called the Domino Effect, Fear versus Faith. And the premise is that we're always operating from one of two mindsets. A mindset of fear or mindset of faith. Both creating a domino effect either positively or negatively impacting your life. And I share a lot of my stories and my own experience in the book. First part of the book is, you know, that explains how we are conditioned to adopt a mindset of fear because we're not born with that. And the second part of the book is provides you with nine principles of how to obtain and sustain a mindset of faith. So I wrote the book and then three years ago I was introduced to Tom Ferry Organization which is largest real estate coaching company in the world. And so I began coaching for Tom and I've been with him. I did write a second book and now I have a YouTube show and also podcast myself.

Well that's fantastic. So just go back into the coaching a little bit. For some of us that don't know what it is like what is a high peak performance coach? Because I know you label yourself as a high peak performance coach. So why don't you tell us just a little bit about that and how can we use that to help others?

Well, my area of expertise is I actually call myself an integrative high peak performance coach. So what that means. Because back, you know, when coaching first came out it was life coach and then there was business coach and then there's spiritual coach. So peak performance is, you know, is getting somebody, bringing somebody to recognize their full potential and bringing that forth, harnessing their power and their greatness and bringing that forth. And you know, I coach on the three prongs that the mental, the physical and the spiritual. Because I always say it's like a three legged stool. If one with one leg is missing, you know, then it's, it's eventually going to fall down. You know, all three have to be running at peak performance in order for you as a person to reach your full potential. So it's not just about business, it's not just about physical, you know, it's all three combined. And having my master's in metaphysics and, and diving deep into that and always being pretty much an athlet athlete myself, you know, and, and now the business side, it's, it's the integration.

Well, great. How would you Use that with like an everyday mom. So there's like, how would you apply your practice to, to the, the high peak performance or the integrative high peak performance coach? How would you use that first with the everyday mom? Because a lot of you said you're a single mom. There's a lot of moms that are struggling out there. What, what advice can we give the mom? Little bit about how to be on that high performance side of things.

Well, I think the first thing is, especially as moms, we do not put everybody before ourselves. And I did that for years. And you know, we've been so conditioned as a society to feel that if we put ourselves first, that's being selfish. You know, and it's funny, I just started my third book two days ago and I was writing, I'm still on the first chapter and I was writing about this today and I, you know, that there's so many things that we have been taught or conditioned to believe that are just absolutely backwards. So putting yourself first does not mean that you're selfish. It actually is a way of honoring yourself. And you're not going to honor yourself. Who's going to honor you? And secondly, if you don't put yourself first, you're not going to have anything to give to those around you. So whether it's your husband or it's your children or it's your household. So, you know, that would be my first, you know, recommendation to all moms is to stop make some me time for me every single day. Whether that's taking a walk, whether that's spending time with a girlfriend, you know, because women are, we value ourselves through relationships. So that contact of, you know, you know, having a conversation with another female as opposed to a male is one thing. And you know, and if I was coaching one of these moms, I would really, you know, ask what's missing for their life or what do they want their life to look like? Do they want to, you know, create a career? Are they happy being, you know, at a stay at home mom, whatever it is?

Well, I've learned that too. We used to say like, even in sports because we do a lot of athletic work and we do work with a lot of different moms and dads and businesses and people. But if you can't manage yourself, how can you manage others? So it's important that you do take care of yourself and you do walk and you do spend time with your friends and you have that balanced life. So you said something earlier, I really want to learn more. I know we could talk more about the book at the end a little bit, but you talk about the domino effect and fear versus faith. Can you explain that a little bit more? I'm just trying to get a better handle on that because that, that was really interesting to me. The how you had you use the domino effect and fear versus faith within your books. Can you share a little bit of that with us?

Sure, yeah. I mean, it's a fact that there were only operating. There's only two mindsets who are always operating from. We're either operating from a mindset of faith or operating from mindset of fear. So mindset of faith is basically believing you can achieve anything and that we are powerful beyond belief and that the only limits we have are the limits that we put on ourselves. Now that's coming from mindset of faith, a mindset of fear, which is also AKA known as the ego mind is the mind. The fear based mind will tell you who are you to do that? You know, you're not good enough, you know you're not worthy enough. Go with the safe job, don't go after your dreams. Who do you think you are going after your dreams? Right? And we've all have been in both mindsets, okay. And I live most of my. The reason I was compelled to write the book is, was because I spent most of my life in a fear based mindset, as I write in the book. You know, I had a father that I was very afraid of and nothing was ever good enough. You know, I'd win the tennis tournament in the second set. What were you doing in the second set? You know, like I'm sitting there thinking, well, I won the tournament. Yeah. So it didn't matter what it was, it was always pointing out the things I did wrong. And he passed away in 1991. I thought, oh, well, I'll be free of this now. But you know what happens is, is the neural pathways going to your subconscious mind. Those were really ingrained beliefs in myself. And so once he passed away, he wasn't saying anymore. I was saying it to myself. And you know, it gets a little tricky because even though I knew I was better than that, I wanted to believe more. You know, I didn't really understand how the subconscious mind worked and different ways to neutralize those thoughts and replace them with empowering thoughts. Because it's not enough to just wish or hope. You actually have to change the neural pathways and replace those with empowering thoughts. Like I tell all my clients, be careful what comes out of your mouth. Be careful what you keep in your head. You can't control what thoughts come into your mind, but you can control what thoughts stay in your mind. And you know, anything that comes out of your mouth, like things like, oh, I'm so stupid. No, even in jest, it's very dangerous. It's a slippery slope because again, your subconscious mind is an order taker. It cannot decipher whether that's what you want or that's, or that's not what you want. So if you're saying I'm so stupid, it's taking it in. Like, let's, let's make sure that she stays stupid. You know, have somebody that says I'm broke. If you notice that person usually stays broke and they don't understand why. Well, I'm trying this, I'm trying that. It's because these are where your beliefs are being held.

Okay, so you talked about, this is where I call the mindset. Because everything you said. Now, I'm not taking notes here, but you, because this is why I really wanted you on our show. Just because of your mindset work and the thousands of people I know, the followers you have and everything else is right on board with everything we do. So you're more of a, you, you have a great story. It's a story that you're feeding off of. You know, we talk about the mindset and, and one thing that you said is like, we've learned this in life and we, we call it like ready to play. It's a thing in sports, like, how do you get ready to play? But we have that. You, you talked about that word fear, like the, the fear of failure. And then if you are afraid to fail, you will. And then, then you caught my attention and you caught my attention with talk. Now if we don't feel good about ourselves, nobody will. So if we do ourself, we're going to believe those bad things. And the other thing you said that, that I have to bring up before we, before we go on is that we do have the same sometimes thoughts over 10,000 times in our head we hear the same thing. And sometimes we can't get rid of those thoughts. It's like those little noises in the back, I call them noise. The only noise I like is that white noise that I sleep with. So, so you touched on, you touched on three really good, really good things. And I think, you know, Tina, I think that's, that's so important. So we want our listeners to get something from this and, and it's okay to fail. It doesn't make you a failure if you fail. So those were great points. So here, so give me the definition of. We use this a lot with, with our, in sports and we, we love this with, with our athletes. We tell people, you never get too high, you never get too low. And I know one of your coaching styles, you know, I've done my research on you, is balance. You use bal of your coaching style. Can you, can you share with us a little bit about how we use balance in our life and how we could apply it to our life?

Yes, absolutely. I just want to go back to one thing that you said that I think is very important about all the thoughts that go through your head. It's a fact that, you know, the average person has about 55,000 thoughts going through their mind every day. Okay? So you can't, you can't be aware of 55,000 thoughts. But out of 55,000 thoughts, the average person, 85% of those 55,000 thoughts are self limiting negative beliefs and thoughts. I just want to throw that out there. So it really gives you an idea of why day after day you can be thinking, oh, you know, not good thoughts about yourself. Right? And that's why it is so important to turn it around. So balance. Yes. Why is balance important? Because we are integrated beings. We are not singular. First of all, we are all connected to one another. You know, whether you believe in God or you believe in spirit, you know, divine intervention, you believe in energy, you believe in source, whatever it is, it's all pretty much the same. And we all really are connected. And your body in the same way, your mind, your body and your spirit are all connected. You can't disconnect something that is right. So if you, for example, let's say you are not eating, this is how the dominant effect comes into play. So if you're not eating well, okay, it's gonna affect your mood. Your mood is going to affect your decisions. Your decisions is going to play out in your life. So if on, on the flip side of that, okay, let's say you are working out, right? You're going to make better eating choices because after you work out, you're going to crave more water based foods. So you're not going to go, probably go for, you know, the donuts or the hot dogs or things like that, then you eat more water based foods. It agrees. It's better for your brain chemistry, your blood flow, your oxygen, right? You're going to make better decisions. You make better decisions, you become more confident in yourself. You become more confident in yourself, and you see how that goes, right?

I love it. I love it because we use balance and everything's out of sync. So I would tell somebody, whether, you know, even for an athlete or if you're in sales, you have to take care of yourself. You need your sleep, you need your recovery, you need to exercise. And they're going to say, what does that have to do with my life? Well, what happens is, why would somebody want to buy from you if you're a salesman, if you look exhausted and tired and you're not bringing that good energy in? And what happens is we, we get out of balance. And I, I, I, I love the balance thing and the other thing, too. They used to say, I don't know how, how you would approach us, but we, we say in sports, you never get too high, you never get too low. You stay balanced. Mm.

Yeah. And, you know, and when you're saying is, somebody wouldn't want to buy from you or this, or this. And this is where I come back for the, with the energy. Okay. So when you're in balance, you're radiating in a very high energy. And you know what it. People feel your energy. Have you ever walked in a room, like, walked into a, maybe a party and just said, I want to leave? You haven't even spoken to anybody, but you just get this vibration that you don't want to be there. It's maybe a bunch of negative energy or, I mean, have you ever experienced like that, or have you ever met. Just met somebody and immediately just kind of felt repelled? Well, you know, so the same thing goes for, like, business. I mean, I have client, a client, and she was doing all the action that she should be doing to get business, but she wasn't getting any business. And I, you know, we finally came, you know, I basically had to hold the mirror up. Said, you're repelling people. You want it so badly that it's, it's repelling people. It's not coming from a place of you wanting to help them and be of service. It's, you know it because it's in sales. Right? It's real estate. It's like, we call it commission breath. It's like when you haven't had a deal in a long time and you're trying to close something. I said, you're rebelling people. So, you know, she worked on that, and I said, act as if you, you don't need the money. Well, you know, the next call, she'd gotten a listing. Her demeanor, her Face was softer, her voice was softer. You know, you really got to pay attention to what you're giving out. And, you know, if you think people don't feel that they do, even over the phone. I tell my clients, before you get on the calls, to make your prospecting calls, you know, do some exercises, do some meditation, put your favorite song on, dance, get your energy up. Because, you know, there's the emotional scale. There's like 22 of them. Abraham Hicks talks about them. And, you know, depends on where you are. You know, you want to be number one on the scale, but I advise people to, like, have that chart next to them all day, to kind of check in with themselves and see where they are. And, you know, always try and bring yourself up a couple notches in the day. You know, may not be able to get to number one, but just become awareness is key because once you're aware of your self, talk where you are emotionally, what your thoughts are. That's. That's the gateway into getting there.

Yeah. Yeah. So you said it. The energy. I could walk into a Starbucks, and I did. I did. The other day, I was actually was in Hilton Head, and we were there. I was taking a little break. And I love going to Starbucks. I call that my little ritual. I go to a journal, I go to Starbucks, I do my thing, and I walk in and this lady had this nervous energy behind the counter, like rushing me and not paying attention to details. And I felt the energy. She didn't even have to say anything. So sometimes that energy is so important. And I'll tell you, like, we talk about stories, I'll throw a few. We have a lot of sports listeners. So when I played for the New York Rangers, we had a player named Essatikonen who was really known. He's won like seven Stanley Cups in the NHL. And, you know, with him, one of our players said this. We had a 25th reunion a couple years ago that we won the Stanley Cup. And he actually said, no matter if it's good energy or if it's a different energy, he brought in energy. Now it was a positive energy, and people feed off of that energy. So we're not talking about bad energy. We're talking about bringing in, you know, a good energy. Sometimes people are funny, but you said it so clear. When you go to a party, you could walk in and, you know, I'm out of here. Because we could be here for five minutes. So. So thanks for bringing that to us. Like, so we have. We have this crazy world we live in. Today I know you're out in California. I'm out here in the, the Carolinas. Just moved back from outside of New York City and. Which was, which was such a tough place, place to be.

New York was.

Yeah, New York. And I know California is, is not as easy. So how about with all the obstacles and going on in today's world, can you give us a little, I don't like the word advice? Can you give us some mindset work that we could focus on to get us through the days besides our work, besides the children, besides different things we have going on? Can you help us with that mindset of obtaining and getting these obstacles out of our way?

Yeah, sure. You know, I think whether it's the pandemic or whatever going on, this always works for me and I'm sure will. All it will work for any of your listeners as well is setting your intention for the day. When I get up, before I even get out of bed, I set intentions for the day, like what I want to achieve. Okay. You always have to have some kind of roadmap and goal for the day. Otherwise, you know, you're going to let your circumstances lead you and that can, you know, may not be a pleasant ride. Okay. You may have challenges throughout the day, but at least if you set some intentions and you do a morning routine, which I'm going to get in, get into here in a second. But the one thing I always pray for is I have a prayer that it's, it goes, where do I go, what do I do, what do I say and to whom? And I release that into the universe. And that kind of like sets my, my, my day up. And I also say, please direct me where I can be the best and highest use for service. So I often, I think we get into our own, you know, me, what can I get? What can I get? And, you know, whether it's during the pandemic or it's not during the pandemic, that is coming from a place of lack, not abundance, closed off. That's, that's like down a really bad rabbit hole, right? As opposed to being open and saying, what can I do for others?

Yeah, I like that so much. That's so true. It's good. That's. People need that. People need that every day in their life. They, they need something to follow. You mentioned we get off track. We, we need a roadmap. You know, all of us do. I mean, I used to say in coaching, if you're going full speed, you're going in the right direction. And I don't know too many of us that are always going that way. And if you're going east and west, we may be a little sideways. We need a little correction. And if you're going south, you' going completely backwards. And, and, and it's almost. How do we get unstuck? And you gave us a lot of, a lot of great points, Tina. But I was going to ask you, you mentioned body earlier. Do you, do you talk about, you talked about meditation for, for, for a brief second. What do you do within your practice to help people with their overall body? And we're not talking about. I don't know if it's body image. I don't know if it's exercise. You talked about walking, doing different things. Share with me the, the. What would you do for, for me, let's say I'm stressed and I'm not feeling great. Is there any exercises that, that you recommend that I would do?

Well, I, There's. I have a morning routine that I absolutely do every single morning outside of my. When I do my prayer. Okay. I also am very strict on what I put in my body. So the first thing I put in my body would be purified water. I have alkaline, the alkaline machine. So I do alkaline water and lemon juice that flushes your organs and it brings your. In the PH balance. And then I do bulletproof coffee, which I don't know if anybody's familiar with that. In fact, I just interviewed Dave Asprey. He's the one who invented that. And the science behind that is you add MCT oil. You can use coconut oil, too, but the MCT oil is just a higher triglyceride. And it's excellent for your brain and your brain function. And studies have shown that a lot of my mom had dementia. And so the studies are showing that a lot of the reason for dementia and Alzheimer's is because your brain is being starved of fats. So you put this MCT oil in your brewed coffee in a blender. And then I also add raw cacao, which is just pure chocolate, no sugar, which is an amazing antioxidant. I put maca in there, little stevia. So that's how I start my day. I get back into bed and I journal for three pages.

Love it. Love it. That's. That's a. You know where. That's why I said that's why I didn't. Recruit is the wrong word. But when I went. But when somebody told me about you, that I have to to listen to your show because it, it's amazing. I said, you know what? I. And I listened to it. I said a lot of these practices that you do is, is. Is really, you know, people could follow this stuff. People could follow what you're doing. But you have to share this with me. Maybe I'm out there. Maybe might people think I'm crazy. But tell me about, like, you studied metaph and tell me, just tell me a little bit about that because that was your background, that was your, you know, your, some of your education. Can you share, like, tell me a little bit about metaphysics, because I'm not an expert at that. I don't know much about it.

Metaphysics is based on the law of cause and effect. Okay? So if you don't like the effect, which is your outcome, you have to change the cause. And it's all what we've been talking about, your subconscious mind, you know, the universal laws, being in compliance with the universal laws. But. And so, for example, with journaling, the reason I journal and I do three pages. I learned that from a course that I took when I was 37 years old. It gives your subconscious mind a chance to be heard. Because think about it. When you're running through your day, you're being run by your conscious mind, which is your rational mind. Have to do this, have to do that, have to do this. So your subconscious mind may have some issues or some strong beliefs that are locked in there that don't have chance to be heard, that are controlling your behaviors and your decisions. They have a chance to be heard, right? So if they, so they come out on the pages. And if you know something keeps coming up, you know, you might want to look at it, you might want to address it, you might want to change it. I immediately follow it with a. Affirmations, always done in the present term. I am blank. I am confident. I am strong. I am passionate. I am successful. I am healthy. I am creative. On and on and on. Mind. The pen just keeps going with me. And I recommend for people that are struggling with certain things where they feel where they are not. That's where the, the, the adjective would come after the I am I. If they're not feeling confident, I am confident. They're not feeling strong. I am strong, right? So always done in the present. And then after that, I do a gratitude list, which is very important because, you know, the more that you're grateful for, the more you have to be grateful for. So what this does these exercises, and then after that I exercise so now you're hitting mind, body and spirit. Exactly what I was talking about. Three legged stool. All that's done by the time it's 8:30 in the morning for me. So I talk about it like it's putting on your armor for the day. Okay.

Wow, that's awesome. Awesome, awesome. We have like a lot of moms listening. We have a big sports association that has over I think 700,000, you know, athletes and their parents and it's not just about sports. And I really wanted you on because I think it's, think it's important that the moms, hey, moms. Make a lot of decisions. Moms are the one that are, that are always going full speed and the dads are too. But I, I really wanted this for the moms and you, you provided a lot of great information here for us and I want to know. So I, I know you get out there a lot. I watched you. That's why I was really intrigued and I, and I reached out to you and I really wanted you on our show to touch not only moms, but everybody else, but primarily the, the moms that, that are, that are listening out there. And this could be, this could be for everybody. So can you tell me where can people find you? And we're not. Again, people know me on this show. We don't sell a lot of our athletes. Come on, we talk, we talk about like what they've done and their stories and their mindsets and the championships they won. But, but for you I think it's important like where can if somebody wants to reach out to you, Tina Marks, tell us where to find you?

Yeah, you can, you can email me@tinamarks tv mail.com you can go to my website which is www.transparentwithtina.com although I'm having a new one designed as we speak, but that one's still up and running. You can see my videos there. My YouTube channel, which is Tina Marks TV has all my YouTubes and then my podcast which is on. I think every, pretty much every platform is transparent with Tina. And just one thing you said about the moms, you know, all you moms out there listening, you know, please get back to yourself. You know, you've got your kids, you've got your husband and you know, also if you can get your kids at the youngest age possible to be doing some of these exercises that I'm talking about, like getting them to talk, maybe to journal meditation, any of these things. The earlier, you know, I've been tell teaching this to my son. He's not going to meditating, but he, you know, he'll catch me if I say something derogatory about myself. He's like, he'll say the other day, says, well, mom, if you say you can't, then you can't mean he keeps me accountable. So this is one thing, unfortunately, the schools don't teach, which I'm really an advocate for. And that's where, you know, another one of my passions is. And I'm really determined to get. Get the information like this into the school systems. Because, you know, school, these kids, they're not taught how to navigate life. And these, these things are necessary tools, I feel, to have, like a really empowered life.

Yeah. And I don't want to. We didn't talk about this, and which is really impressive. Sometimes people come on and I want to hear their stories, and it's great. But I don't want to say it unless it's okay with you, but you were a survivor, right?

Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, that alone says. Says a lot about you. And we could hear the great energy, like we talked about in your voice. Tina, it was great having you on our show. This is great for everybody, not just moms. And when I share this last little tidbit with you, when we work with. With athletes and we say, let's get ready to play, it's not about just thinking about, okay, I got to think about the game and let's play the game. It's about all those little things that you mentioned that is. Is powerful for everybody. Thank you, Tina, for being here. It's been great to have you.

Thank you so much, Mike. And I'm looking forward to having you on my show. I think it's in a week or so.

Yeah, looking forward to it.

Awesome. Perfect. Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you for listening to this episode of the Mike Hartman Show. If you're enjoying what you've heard so far, please feel free to rate, subscribe, and leave a review on your preferred podcast listening platform. We really appreciate that effort. We'll catch you in the next episode of the Mike Hartman Show.