Pride and Fear of Asking for Help

All right, here we are at the big leap. This is episode 10, Pride. Fear of asking for help and support. Not feeling far enough along. Gabe, this is a super exciting one because.

Because you get an opportunity to find out how to get unstuck, whether you're in a relationship situation or a business situation. We go through a whole bunch of different ways to move through that. And we also talk about what I call 10 second miracles, which are things that you can do in 10 seconds or less to move things along and get unstuck from situations where you're feeling like you don't have a solution at hand.

All right, one of the things that's really exciting about this episode, you tell a couple celebrity stories. One of them is Bonnie Raitt, a good friend of yours. And another one that will remain unnamed, but their star is on Hollywood Boulevard. And what you did to get them through a couple difficult situations.

Yes. And maybe we should make a contest of it. If somebody can go to the Hollywood Walk of Fame and guess the celebrity, we'll give them a free something.

Okay, that's a great idea. All. So the other thing that's really, really cool is we talk about epigenetic trauma in this episode and how it manifests. And also Gay's love of gold. He's gonna talk about where that came from and why he's still stuck on it. And another one, which is shame in asking for support and feeling or being mocked and how to get past that.

Yes, really important. It's all about moving through things quickly so you don't keep recycling the same problem. I always say, always try creating a bigger problem for yourself to move through.

All right, so all of that and more in episode 10. Here it goes.

All right, here we are. The big leap.

Mike Koenigs and Gay Hendricks, ready to take a whole bunch of big leaps with you.

All right, and this is episode 10, Pride. Fear of asking for help and support and not feeling like you're far enough along. I think everyone. Everyone's dealt with this at some point in time. Everyone I know of. I certainly do still. On a regular basis, I check in and, like, ugh. And you've had the good fortune of working with plenty of celebrities who reach their upper limits and are dealing with worthiness issues or whatever that is that, like, keeps them from getting there. So why don't you open up with one of your famous celebrity stories?

Okay, well, I love music. As you know. I'm an old rock and roller from the 60s, and so I. I'm always listening to music and Collecting music. And I've collected a lot of musician friends over the years. And one wonderful story comes from old friend of ours, my wife and myself, Bonnie Raitt. And a lot of people don't realize this about Bonnie, but for many, many years before she broke through into kind of the national fame she has now, she was a club performer. She was mostly did blues. She worked a very little niche and she always had plenty of work. She was out there with a. She had. Her entourage was a bass player named Freebo and Freebo's dog and Bonnie and her guitar. And they went all over the place in the 70s and 8, you know. But suddenly there was this moment where she became a national star. And here's something that she did just before that, which I thought was really genius.

She asked for support telepathically first, before she went and asked for it physically. What she did was she visualized herself standing in front of the audience at the Grammys thanking certain people for their help and their support. And some of these folks, you know, weren't necessarily people that already had supported her, but she was. She started it with an expression of gratitude for the support she was going to receive. And so she kept working with that visualization and.

So suddenly, boom. Who knows? You can't ever prove whether those things have a direct effect or not, but it's no arguing with the fact that not long after that, suddenly she was getting massive support from Hale Milgram, who was the head of Capitol Records at the time. And suddenly she was getting support from other people. And now she has. Last time I think I talked to her, she had 14 Grammys. And this was a little while back, so she may have more by now. On another thing, just an amusing other story. One time, speaking of gratitude, one time she was visiting our home in. When we lived over in Montecito, California. And my wife had just worn this beautiful green kind of sequin dress to a big event. And it was still out in the bedroom. And Bonnie looked at it and she said, whoa, I love that dress. And my W, who was one of the most. Katie's, the most generous human being you'd ever met, said, well, here, I'm going to give it to you. And so Bonnie was blown away by that. But then she went and wore the award. I mean, wore the dress when she was getting an award down in Hollywood and invite us to be down and see the dress in action. It was just so cool. And it came back around like that. Good.

And I know inside, so inside that the fear of asking for Help and support sometimes starts with just sending out this message to the universe, getting really specific, visualizing yourself at that place. And it seems like, and I know this in my own life, that when I program and feel the feeling of the outcome result that I desire and knowing what's that, what that's like, and for me, I share it with other people. So to me, I want to be in a smorgasbord environment. You know, I want to be surrounded with people because an experience is meaningless without sharing it and with, without people. But then resting in and feeling that fully. And that seems to open up your subconscious to creating experiences and circumstances that can make that come true. But what else do you have to see if you decode what's going on there?

Well, I think one really important thing is you have to ask yourself, if you're not getting the support you want, you need to wonder about, hmm, why am I putting out a message that says don't support me. Why would I be broadcasting to the world that I'm not interested in its support? And so a lot of times you can go underneath that old program, but even if there's no good reason for that, just opening yourself up and saying, okay, I am now available for support, I'm now willing to be supported. And then begin to look at how you receive it or repel it, you know, because a lot of people, well, I always say this. You're either defining your life through receiving support or defending against support. Because in my experience, the universe is falling all over itself trying to support you if you'll just let it know you're supportable. Yeah. One of my favorite quotes comes from Franz Kafka. He says, you don't have to do anything. I'm not getting this exact. But we could probably look it up. But he said, don't do anything. Sit in your room being absolutely still and ordinary. The universe will roll at your feet. It has no choice. And so it's that idea of making yourself supportable, making yourself available to be contributed to that was such a huge, huge turn. I remember a guy, my first experience was that was a guy came up to me after a lecture that I gave way back in the 1970s. And I didn't have a Hendricks Institute at the time or a non profit foundation or anything like that. I was just a guy who discovered some things and was going around talking about them. And it was years before I wrote the Big Leap, but I was, I was talking about the subject and he came up to me afterwards and he said I would like to contribute to what you're doing. May I make some sort of a contribution to you? And I was nonplussed by that. I was, well, yeah. And he said, well, what should I do? Who should I make the checkout to? I said, oh, a check. You're going to write me a check right now? Anyway, he wrote me a check for fifteen hundred dollars. I remember. And. But I didn't even have an entity for him to do it. I had to have him write it to me. And so what I want to do is suggest that you make yourself widely available for being supported to as your first thing. And remember, if you're complaining about lack of support, it's because you're unconsciously committed to not to be supported. Oh, that's good.

So I've got a. An exercise I do whenever I'm doing Vision Day, and it's part of a manifestation exercise which you've covered in a previous episode. And what I do is I make this part of the. You know, the metaphor is the ocean is in front of you. It's infinitely filled with every resource.

Whether it's food or, you know, just imagine all the elements that are in there that we still don't know how to extract and utilize in this beautiful ecosystem we're in. And I say this is a metaphor. So right now, what we are about to manifest together and perform our alchemy in. And I love the notion of turning lead into gold, ideas into things that show up and create motion and abundance and potential. But the secret is, are you willing to receive all that the universe wants to give to you right now? And are you open to receiving more than you could possibly contain in your vessel?

Yeah, go ahead.

Are you willing to receive it even if you don't think you deserve it? See, the don't thinking I deserve it is part of one of those old upper limit programs that gets installed in us early on and later on, then that translates as, well, if I don't think I don't deserve it, I shouldn't try to accumulate it.

Okay, so I want to spend some time on I don't deserve it. I have a story that's relevant to this, which was a big upper limits challenge that I had. And the setup was back when I had just sold Digital Cafe, which was my digital marketing agency. The agency rep came in and saw me, and we had just conducted the transaction the day before. So I'm flush with cash in my bank account, my partner is, and I'm feeling as close to being financially free as I Ever have in my life. And right before that, I'd also bought a boat. So I bought a 46 foot houseboat on the Mississippi River. So I became a year around boat owner slash liver, you know, and it was like a game changer.

You wintered. This was in Minnesota, right?

Yes.

And you spent it on the. A winter on that boat.

Yeah, yeah. So for almost five years on the Mississippi river, which is crazy as it sounds, was so amazing. So just imagine a house that always moves a little bit and you just feel so good. And I didn't know this at the time, but I was single and it is a very attractive place for young ladies to want to come to.

Well, I happen to know about this because I'm a part owner of the houseboat that my daughter lives on up in the Bay Area. And so, yeah, I've never spent a night on it myself because the idea of being on something that moves under me has never been settled into my stomach.

Okay, all right. Well, I happen to love it. I am totally a water person.

And it just felt. I felt so rich. And part of the way I used it as a tool is I gave myself the freedom that at any time I could take off the lines and I could cruise down to New Orleans or to where the Mississippi empties out into the ocean. I love that feeling of freedom.

But back to the core story here. Here's what happened. The agency guy walks in and we were still part owners of the business at that time. So he said, okay, well, you're now a VP in this new company, this new entity, and it's Christmas time. So I want you to think about all the things that you want to buy, invest in and the people you want to bring in so we can turn this into an amazing world class agency beyond what you've ever thought of before. And I completely froze. And it wasn't a sense of worthiness, but I didn't realize it at the time other than I was so stuck. And it came from the fact that I had been practicing operating inside the small world that I was contained in, which we were traumatized by running out of money for so many years and not having resources. I had forgotten how to dream big. I had lost that childhood expansive ability when I used to just lay on my back outside and look at the stars and feel space inside me and become space and project myself into space as well. You know, it was like this breathing I would do as a child, and I didn't know how to do that and be expansive and open any Longer. And man, do I see that when I work with people who really want that transformation and they've got the means, they've got. It might be millions or tens or even hundreds of millions of dollars in the bank, and they've been in trauma mode for so long that they haven't opened themselves up to not only being able to receive, but to dream on that massive level. So I'm not exactly sure how that can turn into asking for help, but sometimes we're. I know for me, not feeling like I'm far enough along and.

I feel it's not pride so much, but it's like, oh, I should be further along than I am and I feel stuck and I'm not sure how to ask for help or even what to ask for.

Yeah, I had some help in that area myself because since I was a kid, I've always had a really poor relationship with directions. East, west, south.

Oh yeah, me too.

Yeah, you have that problem. And I've probably asked for directions I don't know how many hundreds of times in my life. But even as a kid, I got good at just asking for directions. And I found that middle aged men were always the very best at giving directions. They would always do it right to the point. And so I developed sort of a subspecialty of how to ask. And I do it from a certain space that I call humble and confused.

When I ask for directions. You know, I'm very humble about it. I say, I even did this with a traffic cop the other day that stopped me for going. I turned down a wrong way street in Santa Barbara and I was visiting from my little town of Ojai, 40 miles away, and I turned down a wrong way street. And this policeman happened to be right there and in his car and he, you know, did it with his lights. And I pulled into this little parking.

Lot and you got to play the little old man. That's so great. Instead of a moving violation.

Yeah, exactly. And so I, I did humble and confused. I said, you know, I'm from. Oh. I said, I've never, I haven't been over here in a while. And I'm from Ojai. And I didn't realize this was a one way street now. And the guy shouted over to his partner, he got a kick out of it. He shouted over his partner, he says, hey, does being from Ojai constitute a defense for a violation in Santa Barbara? And the guy laughed. But anyway, he gave me a warning and told me not to turn down that street anymore. So. But that's humble and confused. I think it's a good way to ask for things because you want to do it from a place of humility.

You know, if I'm asking you for a million dollar investment, I want to be humble about it because I do want and need your money. And it's okay to be a little confused in that situation because that's a tricky thing to do. I've trained people to ask, and I always say simpler is better. And always ask from your heart as well as your head. In other words, if you're afraid of something or if you're angry about something or scared about something, be sure and include that in the ask. You know, like, I'm nervous about asking you for this right now because I'm not very good at it. But here's what I need and you know, just to kind of be honest about it and lay it out like that.

So you have another.

Great story about another celebrity, singer, musician, who you had worked with. And I don't know, you may or may not mention this person's name.

Well, let's for the time being just leave out, leave out his name, but just say that he's in Bonnie's league, you know. But so here, here's the actual event that happened. I got a call from this person who was lived not too far from me and asked if he could come over and talk to me about something that was really driving him crazy. And so I said sure. And so he came over and we were standing out on the balcony and this was when we still had our beach place over in carpinteria and about 20 years ago. So we're standing on the, the balcony looking out over the ocean. And the problem was the thing he was freaking out about was he was about to have a really great thing happen the next day, which was going to get his Hollywood star, Hollywood star on the Walk of Fame there. And so.

I realized that it had brought up some kind of fear in him. And so we went about it two ways. One was I was in what are you really afraid of? And one thing he was afraid of was that once you put your hands in the concrete there and you're locked in for life, there's no further change. You belong to everybody now. And it means nine times out of ten, it means that you're getting pretty old.

When they're finally getting around to give you. And at the time he was probably knocking on 3:50. And so.

So we explored his fear. But the thing that really made the difference was I went in And I got a stack of quarters that I was saving for the parking meters in this little town that we lived in where our condo was our beach condo. And so I took my stack of quarters and I asked him to hold out my hand. I went back out on the balcony, I said, hold out your hand. And he said, okay. And I dropped a quarter into it. And I just waited. And he looked at me like, what are you doing? You know, and then I dropped another quarter into it. And again he sort of looked, what are you doing? You know, but he didn't say anything. And so I kept dropping quarters into. And I think I got seven or eight quarters in his hand. Finally, he just couldn't do, what's wrong?

And I said, well, I noticed that I've now given you seven or eight quarters and not once have you said thank you. Here's a person giving you free money. And it didn't occur to you, you were so caught up in your internal dialogue with yourself that you didn't even say thank you for the free money. He said.

You know, there was this big clong of realization about that. And underneath it was, he realized, I guess I really don't think I deserve any of this stuff, you know. He said, I know the kind of person I am inside, and I know some of the things I've done. And if they knew that, would I still be getting this award? Yeah. You know, of course it's a ridiculous question because probably three quarters of the people on the Hollywood Walk of Fame have done things that would make your hair stand on end that nobody knows about.

So. But anyway, we went through this whole thing and so I got my quarters back and then I started giving him one quarter at a time and just asking him to look me in the eye and say, thank you. Here's another quarter. Thank you. Thank you. So I got him programmed up. So he was just saying, yes, yes, yes. So the whole thing the next day went much better because when the accolade came and they stuck the camera in his face, you know, they said, what did you, you know, what's your feeling about this? And he just said, I feel. Thank you. A whole body thank you. And so. And then of course, he had to say a few things to self deprecate, like, there are many people that need this more. You know, that I'm here because of many other people. It's just like you notice when they give somebody an award, they always thank God or, you know, whoever and thank everybody. Very few people just get up there and say, you know I deserve this thing.

It's about time, you know, some tallest poppy chopping going on. But then I know I'd say thank you, Jiminy Crickets.

Thank you, Jiminy Crickets.

Thank you, Jiminy Crickets. So I've got a notion here, a thought, because a. That's a great story in talking about.

Self worthiness and as you're talking about it, we touched on this in the last episode. But I really think that self absorption.

Is a form of selfishness. And selfishness on steroids turns into depression as well. It is a similar energy that that manifests. And when you sit there in the self absorbed state just going, me, me, me, my, my, my. Why what? You know, like all that stuff, it. It is a toilet that you've got to figure out how to climb out of. But.

I know epigenetic trauma and the I don't deserve it. Energy and money is something that I've dealt with. So I'm going to tell you one story about becoming comfortable, which I got some coaching where I hit one of my upper limits. And that upper limit was I wanted to break out of the current business model. I was in which the business model essentially revolved around doing wide and shallow marketing, selling information products online for like $2,000. And then the next level was $5,000 event followed by a $25,000 mastermind or something like that. And it pretty much stopped there. That was all my business was capable of without going to the next level and scaling and getting into a whole bunch of areas that just were not joyful.

And I remember there were two instances that really shaped me. One of them was first of all, the knock, which there were times I had people in my audience who I knew had very large net worths and had the means to do so much more. And they wanted the means. And they looked at me and said, I'd like to work with you. And they'd come up during a break or something and say, I want to work with you.

And I would turn to them and I'd say, well, here's the menu of choices. You can do this thing, this thing or this thing. And they're like, well, I want to work with you. And they were effectively opening up their wallet saying, what would it take? And I would back off and say, I don't have the means, the time, and I'm already so busy. You know, it's like the. To accept 100 or a $200,000 engagement from someone like that would probably cost me a million dollars in sales because I Had this machine going, a very hungry bird. Even though my net on that would probably be a fraction of what they're willing to give me. It was that, that, that ugh feeling. And I reached a point when I decided it was time to let that business go and move on to the next level that I experimented with very, very high level offers that were a hundred and two hundred fifty thousand dollars and sometimes even more. And to, to start opening up the channels of being able to receive, I had to ask for help. First of all, I didn't even know what was wrong. The truth is my coaches and advisors at the time detected these holes in my awareness. And the exercise they'd have me do is get two stacks of $10,000 so $100 bills and wear each one in my vest pocket of my jackets. And when I'd speak, even before I'd get on stage and present this offer for $100,000 or more, they wanted me to pull out the money and smell it and touch it and feel it before I went on and really get comfortable with it on my body and being surrounded by it. Because symbolically.

They felt I just didn't have a good relationship with money. And it turned into this metaphor that, you know, it certainly started unjumbling my brain and opening up some new worthiness challenges and value challenges. Because when I work with people now, they're often, maybe they've been a doctor, for example, doing something for a long time and they're used to charging $5,000 for what they do and they don't realize that who they are is evolved and their value and net worth is could be easily $25,000 with a different story in their own internal perception of self worth changing. So I turn this over to you to say, you know, like where. How do you see that showing up and how do you look at that from a.

An energetic level, epigenetic, a self worth or a fear perspective? Like where have you seen the blocks in the Upper limits challenges?

Yes. Well, you mentioned epigenetics and let me give you an example of that. I've had a fascination with gold and collecting gold since back in the 70s. And I saw the way the stock market was going and I thought that's we're going to be in a bull market for a long time. But eventually the bull market's going to come to an end. So let me put some of my stuff in regular stock market. But I want to make sure I have plenty of gold because someday it's going to contract massively and gold has been a store of value for thousands of years. And so anyway, I started collecting first gold coins, you know, like Krugerrands and eagles and things like that. And then I began to buy gold stocks. But.

One day there was a contraction in the gold market. The stock market went crazy one day up. And so the gold contracted and I started thinking, hmm, what is underneath that? Why do I feel more satisfied when I have this gold around? And I suddenly realized it was based on an old programming thing. I mentioned that I'm descended from a family that got on the wrong side of the Civil War and had to leave their plantations behind and strike out for central Florida. And so what helped them was they had some gold and some diamonds and things like that. The easily portable kinds of things up to a certain point. Gold is portable.

Yeah, yeah. Unless tigers are chasing you.

Yeah, exactly. And so, so I looked into that and I started thinking, okay, well, I no longer want to be collecting gold because I'm trying to remediate some old fear. And it was that fear of everything being taken away. And I even used to have a dream when I was a kid. I grew up a lot with my grandmother, and she was the queen of all things saving. She wanted to save constantly because the Yankees could always come and take it all away, you know, and so. But it had been a long time since there was any Yankees running around with muskets, you know, like about 50 years or so.

So I realized that I was still operating out of my grandmother's scarcity programming by now. There's nothing wrong with collecting gold. I still have plenty of gold. And I recommend that everybody have some stores of value like that that don't, that are based on agreement. Everything's based on agreement. We all agree that this particular metal is worth $1500 rather than this other one that's worth $10. But also the stock market is extremely based on agreement.

Because at the moment, one day happens like we just had a recent contraction because of a possible pandemic. And so things like that are going to happen. But what I want to inquire into always is my money stuff related to epigenetics. I want to make sure that I'm not operating out of somebody's old money program that I just happened to be around when I was growing up. So there's a great area of inquiry to what extent is my old programming interfering with me making smart investment decisions right now and smart financial decisions.

Good, very good. So I'm going to move on to one more, which is shame for having Asked for support and being mocked, which can manifest in easily in a marriage, for example, but it can also be deeply rooted in while, you idiot, why would you ask for help with that? Or whatever. And that'll prevent you from asking, but let's go down that path a little bit on unwinding and removing that old programming and also spotting it before it gets you. So if you're in a space where I'm asking for help is difficult or challenging, and figuring out what it is and then eliminating that bad programming so you feel humble and open and worthy and also able to make that. That shift.

Yes. I was just recalling something that happened when I was in the eighth grade actually, and I was at a D. And do you remember any of those awkward junior high school dances where the girls would be on one side of the gymnasium and you would be on the other side?

Yeah, of course.

Well, I witnessed this terrible thing happen one time where this really awkward kid, I can't remember his name now, finally worked up courage to cross the gym and ask this girl for a dance. And then everybody got to see her go.

And then he had to hike back all the way across the gym. And I remember just thinking, oh my God, I'm never going to put myself in that kind of a situation, you know, because for the rest of the year, you know, he was the kid that asked Elizabeth Marshall to dance and she said no. Now, I hate things like that. I hate rejection like that and I'll go to great lengths to avoid it. But at some time in life, we have to open up to moving beyond the fear of rejection. Because ideally, what I tell people, instead of trying to avoid rejection, look for better and better and better things to be rejected for. Look for higher quality things that the world is going to reject you for. Because if you go out into the world with some brand new thing, usually the first thing that's going to happen is people going to say, no, I don't need that. I remember when I first took one of my first books to publishers. It.

I wrote a little book when my daughter was in first grade. I wrote a little book called the Centering Book. Because I would go into the classroom to help out and I would see that the teacher was spending tremendous amount of time just keeping people organized. And after recess, I thought of lots of little things she could do to get them focused again, like little meditations and little body things. Anyway, so I just compiled all those into a. A book that I tried out in her classroom. It was called the Centering Book. And I Went around to different publishers, and everybody kept saying the same thing. No, I don't think anybody would be interested in that. Who would you sell it to? I say, well, parents for one thing. Teachers, for one thing.

Anyway, finally one publisher gave me an $800 advance for it. And I thought I had gone to heaven because I was still a graduate student at the time, you know, and suddenly having $800 float in the door, you know, that was just world changing. And so we're talking about 1973 here. So two things happened. One is the book came out in 1975 and became a surprise bestseller. And the second thing that happened is I signed up as an extra gig from Prentice hall to evaluate education books that came in that they were thinking of publishing. One of them came in from a guy named Jack Canfield, who was also a young guy like me, who had written a book called 100 Ways to Raise Self Concept in the Classroom. Same thing I'd done, you know, he'd gotten his PhD from the university of Massachusetts or someplace and had compiled this. This book. And so it came in the door and they sent it to me. Do you think. Do you think this has any potential? And I wrote back on it. I said, I can guarantee you this will sell at least 100,000 copies. And.

They were considering taking a pass on it. And I said, guarantee? I don't know this guy, but just every teacher is going to want to buy one of these. And so they published it, became a big bestseller. But even better, I became buddies with Jack Canfield. So now, you know, from way back in the 70s, we've been in conversations and have written books together and, you know, made hundreds of thousands of dollars together and things like that. And so that kind of stepping outside yourself, you know, that was a gift to another human being out of my success with this one little $800 book. I bet Jack has made millions of dollars off of the royalties from that book.

It's great.

I love that.

And you can see all the different layers and levels up, But I. I love the idea of feeling worthy enough and also having the courage to get behind that. And I'll tell you that something I've struggled with many times in all of my reinventions. I'm usually a little bit ahead of the party with a new idea or concept. It's a market changer. So we were one of the first to have a digital agency talking about websites and digital marketing, which is mainstream now. And then I did video marketing, one of the very first to do that. The Very first to do mobile marketing and then also when book marketing, we really took advantage of the Amazon takeover and creating personal brands. And now some of the stuff that I'm doing, it's a new conversation. There's a lot of openings for rejection. And every time the good news about having a entrepreneurial mind is you forget the pain that got you as far as you are and you're like, you know, you walk in with a certain amount of ignorance. I don't have as much of it now, but the forgetting, the pain that got you here. You talk sometimes to people and you say, well, if you knew all the stuff you'd have to go through to get to here, would you ever do it? And you're like, hell no, man, this sucked.

I wouldn't recommend it to my worst enemy.

But I think.

The asking for help, it's like when you get past that asking for receiving support and whatever story you're telling yourself, you get to the other side and you realize the absurdity of it and also how absolutely necessary and critical getting through it is in order to see the past you and to see the folly and your fear. And it's like, no one's going to kill you. You're not going to die asking for help. And even with that kid. Well, the good news is you don't remember his name now, the one who got rejected on the dance floor. But.

Looking back, he's probably the head.

Of some dating app company nowadays.

Right?

Right.

Well, that's exactly where I was going to go is. Imagine where he is now and how he could have turned that trauma into an amazing tool that got you so much further, faster. And something I've always admired about our Mormon friends is one of the first things they got to do is go out and proselytize.

You know, that's a very interesting thing. I used to work with Kevin Rollins, who was the president of Dell. Michael Dell was the chairman at the time and I was working with their executive team, he and Kevin Rollins and the number two guy, Mort Topper. And Kevin had had that experience at an early age of was go, went.

Off to Canada, going out on ministry.

Going out on ministry and just showing up one door after the other. 99 rejections to 1 that would ask him in for a cup of tea and then reject him. But it was just that going around in a short sleeve shirt and a tie and getting rejected over and over again and eventually he got to where he could just stand in any kind of energy field. I love that actually. I had an Egg business when I was a little kid and I learned a lot from going around and just asking people if they wanted eggs. I had 50 chickens and my mother financed my chickens for me. And I had a little egg business for a while and I actually on one day I wiped out 12 eggs by tripping on somebody's front steps and falling on them. I was a fat little kid and I fell on my inventory and wiped out my entire week's inventory. But I think the value of the business was just going around and asking people, do you need some eggs? You know, and you know, sometimes they buy my eggs. And so these were all neighbors, you know, or people up and down my block. So they weren't like real heavy, bad rejector type people. But it put me in mind of the fact that every time you launch anything new, whether it's an eight year old egg business, when you're a kid or, or a big business, you're exposing yourself to existential annihilation. Because you put yourself into some situation like that and you're going to have your existence threatened. Whether it's through poor cash flow or a conflict that you get into. That's the game. It's moving through that, that's the issue. You know, it's not how to avoid that. Some things you can avoid, but some things are just going to come right at you.

So how do you condition yourself to love that feeling and welcome it and own it and just say, oh, I can't wait to get pressed up against that discomfort and be able to recognize it and see it and say, oh God, I just want to feel that right now. What would you do and what have you done? Have you ever gotten to the point where you got to be such good friends with that, knowing that it was going to be standing there in a new form because it's kind of like a brand new phantasm? Because what, what got you past the last one isn't the same thing that gets you past the new one.

Yeah, well, I'm a lot better at that now than I was 40 years ago when I got started. Nowadays I think I can, I negotiate, you know, I call it tiptoeing through a herd of sleeping elephants. A lot of times I find ways of getting through things that without getting in the middle of them and saying, wake up, you know, I can move through things a little more smoothly. I always say there are three levels of manifestation. The first is the level of what I call Newtonian level, which is just positive thinking. I call it Newtonian because you Create a new positive thought and you get a positive result. So that's Newtonian. The second level I call Einsteinian because what it's really, it's based on that idea of two minutes on a hot stove goes by like an hour, and an hour with your beloved goes by like a minute. It's the idea that if you expand to embrace things, whatever they are, things move more quickly. The third level, I don't even have a name for it. I call it the third way. And it simply involves how to be in the right place at the right time. And there are some things you can do to be in the right place at the right time. But the number one thing you can do is not go around thinking you're in the wrong place all the time. You. Because a lot of people have this old internal belief that I'm not where I'm supposed to be and that broadcasts out throughout life so that then they are not where they're supposed to be. And it chases away the very abundance that's trying to happen to you.

Oh, that's really good. So it's, it really comes down to energetically that discomfort that you're feeling of not feeling like you're supposed to be here chases away the biggest opportunities, even when people show up wanting to give them to you.

Yeah. And I think a key to that is learning to love the unlovable. You know, just open up to learn that destroyed feeling you feel inside when you get rejected, somehow opening up and accepting and loving, that kind of frees you from those old traumas.

I love that. Well, I think this is a great time to bring us back along to our big ask for this episode, which is one of them is you and I have been busy putting together Big Leap Live, which is an opportunity to expand in an environment to create a transformational experience with around 50 other right minded, right thinkers or high frequency aliens who want the same. They're at their, they're willing and able, want to find a way to punch through their upper limits, their glass ceilings and get to the the other side and learn some of these techniques and also get exposed to.

The.

Ninth chapter in your most recent book. So why don't you talk a little bit about what we have planned?

Yes. Well, first of all, I'm very excited about this because I have not done this in this particular format. In other words, I have not taught the whole thing in one concentrated place from conscious luck, from conscious luck and also from the Big Leap, but conscious luck, primarily because for the last 10 years, what we've been doing is homing in on these eight different things. We call them secrets, but they're. They're things that nobody seems to know very much about, about how you go about recreating yourself as a massively lucky person. And any one of them work miracles. But if you can do all eight of them, that's great. So we're going to talk about and show people how to do the eight. But the thing I'm really excited about is I got to this place at the end of the book where I realized.

I can't communicate in words on a page. This other thing, and I don't mean to sound mysterious or like I'm holding something back or anything like that, but I need a certain kind of high vibrational environment.

Yeah, it needs to be immersive. That's the bottom line.

It needs to be immersive and a certain kind of people need to be there. And we're finding those people. And you may be one of them and, and you may know somebody, this one. But we're looking to transmit a certain type of experience that has never been experienced, has not been transmitted before. And so it's wonderful fun because we're on an edge that's pulling our genius out of ourselves in the process of helping pull people's genius out of themselves.

Right on. And just for you at home, either listening or wherever you're listening or watching us right now, you can learn more@bigleaplive.com that's where we've got information about the special experience. And the other thing, this is another simple ask, which is if you know someone who can benefit from this podcast or that experience, share it with them. Right now it's easy to do and we also give away a gift or several gifts with every episode. And the way to do that is head on over to itunes, rate and review this podcast will follow up with you and give you a copy of this new deck. What is that special new deck?

It's called the Living Miracles deck. And it's a whole bunch of things that are like quick little 10 minute, I mean, I'm sorry, 10 second solutions to things, a little piece of wisdom or a little exercise that you can do. And all of them are very quick things to do. But one of my graduates and friends, Susie Batiz, collected these lovingly from all these hundreds of different people who sent these in that I had said over the years. And so it's kind of like the distilled wisdom all put together in a card deck.

Yeah, it's really a special product and a special gift. And again, it's yours. Head on over to itunes. Rate review. We'll follow up with you because we're gonna use Conscious Luck to randomly select several people are going to receive some decks and we'd love to give you a shout out in the future as well. So with that, let's bring episode nine to a close here. And thank you as usual for listening or watching or however you're consuming this experience with us.

So important to open up your ability to receive.