Tuning Up Your Receiver

Foreign.

So what are your big upper limits challenges? It's one of the things that Gay wrote about in the Big Leap book, which of course is what this podcast is all about. And this episode's about tuning up your receiver. What do you do to block reception? And one of the things that I love that Gay does is he always has great stories. It's a real transformation with someone he worked with recently who had run into some big upper limits challenges.

Gay. Yes. And you'll be able to find out how we work through those challenges in a fairly short period of time. She had challenges that were making her physically ill and then causing repercussions in her relationships. So you'll find out how to go through removing the blocks, removing the barriers, whatever they are, to your receiving abundance. And so tune into this story with us because it takes you through several steps and every one of them is something you can apply to your own transformation and your clients.

Yep, nothing better than a transformation you can use today. Gay is awesome at it, and you really get an inside view into how his brain works. All that and more on this episode of the Big Leap.

Hi, this is Gay Hendricks. Welcome to this edition of the Big Leap podcast. Today we're working on something really big. I think if you understand it, is going to make your life better by the second, and that is.

How to tune your receiver better, how to eliminate the static from your reception so that you're able to open up and increase your flow of abundance, love and good things in your life just by virtue of fine tuning your instrument.

Okay, and the way Gay described this to me, and we've gone down this path a bit in the past, but it's how do you receive the maximum without tripping your upper limits and not blowing up and going into your upper limits? And Gay recently worked with very high value individual who just received a lot of everything, including a lot of money. And right away the fear and patterns and I assume old traumas got kicked into high gear. So can you set this up, Gay, and kind of describe what happened and how you really decided that this is important enough to revisit and talk about and go deeper in?

Yes, well, what happened to my client is that she's always been very, very blessed in the area of she was born into a reasonably wealthy family and then things have gone well in her life, so that she's always been in fairly prosperous mode. But very recently.

She had placed a passive investment in something about 10 years ago. And so suddenly it went public and she.

Went from this very comfortable Existence to suddenly having millions and millions and millions of more dollars.

Than she had ever had before. It's a good problem to have. But in her case, it pushed every upper limit button that you can imagine. She got sick, physically sick. She got a sinus infection that kind of wouldn't go away. And then.

She and her fiance had a big blow up. And what was the third thing? These things seem to always come in threes. Oh, yeah. The third one was she had this fantastic new suv. And I forget the name of it, but it's one of the fancier ones. Something Rover. Is it Range Rover? I think.

Yeah, Range Rover. Or I was thinking an Escalade, but yeah, okay. Something high end.

So a very, very high end thing. And just out of the blue, somebody totaled it. I mean, somebody ran into her and completely total it. She was not injured. In fact, she wasn't even in it at the time. But so what happens there? You know, suddenly something seemingly good happens, and then boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. All these systems start to rattle and fall apart. Well, as we worked on this, I didn't know too much about her background until the session, but as we talked about it, it really began to fall into place because I could see how.

She had shut down in one area of her life, which was.

What I think is one of the most crucial areas, which is how much love you're willing to receive. But at the same time, she also. You shut down in one area and you shut down in another area. So if you shut down in the area of how much love you're willing to receive, or positive energy in general, you're also shutting down to other kinds of reception, too. And so when this big surprise happened with the IPO of this sock that she'd owned for a long time, it pushed all of those buttons and she went into a kind of a cosmic nose dive. Fortunately, she was able to get some help. She called and we arranged a session. She lives in a foreign country, so it took some rearranging to get things organized. But once we did the session, what I found was that her big reception had triggered actually things that went back to her birth and when she was born. She was born in such a way, just kind of a complicated Middle Eastern situation with princes and nephews and all sorts of very wealthy folks that are all connected through some family kinds of things.

But at birth, she was kind of disowned by her father and raised more by her mother and grandmother. And so as we worked, we got down into this simple moment of not feeling like she deserved to be here, partly because she was a woman, a girl at the time, and partly because she. Her mother had fallen out of favor with the father. So what I'm describing sounds.

Kind of like the stuff of a movie. But if you think about it, we all have exactly those same kind of mechanisms. We may not have them with Saudi princes and millions of dollars and things like that, but we've all got disturbances in our ability to receive. For one person, it's a mental thing, like, I don't deserve it. An unconscious decision way back early on in your life, an unconscious decision that I'm not worthwhile for another person. The glitch may be on the physical level. So when you receive an unexpected large amount of money, you get sick. So that's another channel that Upper Limits come in on. So she kind of did a triple there. She got sick and also had problems in the relationship she was in, and her car got total. So there was three things in a row that happened. Bang, bang, bang. When those kind of things compound like that, that's a good time to call somebody and get some help. So what I was able to do with her over the hour and a half that I worked with her was help her let go of a lot of those early decisions about, I don't deserve to be here. I don't deserve love. I've landed in the wrong family, I've landed in the wrong body. So those kind of old unconscious decisions, the only way you clear them up is by shining the light of consciousness on them. You can't uproot them from your body or hypnotize yourself and make them go away. You simply have to open up and accept them into the wholeness of yourself. And that actually releases the old unconscious stress power that those things have.

Old unconscious events only have a grip on you to the extent that you haven't let go and let them be. In a way, those old conscious events thrive on us trying to fix them and make them better. What actually makes them better is to open up and accept them and shine the light of consciousness on them just as they are. I call that the Einstein algorithm. We've talked about this before where Einstein said that the best way to understand relativity is that a minute on a hot stove feels like an hour. And an hour with your beloved goes by like a minute. And it has to do with how open you are to receiving this moment. Because when you're with your beloved, all of you wants to open up and receive the goodness of the moment. The sweetness, the ecstasy, the Exchange of energy, all of those things. When you're sitting on a hot stove, suddenly all your systems want to shut down and get away and close down and contract. And so that makes time suddenly crawl to a halt. So with that in mind.

Make your life a big.

Search, exploration journey looking for those upper limits. Be on the lookout for them. In other words, don't shun them. Don't go away from them. Make your life about uncovering them. So you'll be like my client when somebody totals your car instead of getting into a big lawsuit with the people that did that. That's one way to go. But make sure you handle it inside first. Make sure you have.

Gotten the message of that situation. So that's kind of the first level of what I want to say about that.

Okay.

So as I listened to that, I was imagining, you know, people I know, people I'm around, including me. And.

I told you before we ran this episode today, I had something that just.

Felt bad happened in the past couple weeks. It's a business engagement where I thought everything was perfect. And then suddenly the experience turned into getting ghosted. I'm not used to that. And unquestionably, some of the people involved in this project, they definitely have some warning signs of.

Addiction and some other things that if I chose, I wouldn't choose to be around it. But I was willing to tolerate it because.

The experience was so amazing. You know, there were a lot of positives.

But inside of that, internally, I had invested a lot of spiritual energy, emotional energy, exposed this to a lot of my community. And suddenly it's like, it just, you know, like, if someone would say, well, how's that thing going? I'd be like, I don't know is the answer. I really don't know. And I know that my reaction has been to just avoid those feelings and instead focus on and try to go in another place instead of really feeling it. Because I don't know how to feel my way through this thing. So I would. And imagine.

I know this for myself. I also know it after being married 20 years and dealing with someone else's traumas. My own parents, watching them go through their aging process, how much time we spend avoiding. So I guess my question for you, gay, is how do we.

Become a great patient for opening up to receive and being able to identify what's going on in the first place? Because I know again, in the past, I didn't realize I was experiencing anxiety or depression until I was into it, because it's not a normal occurrence for me. You know, it's just not.

And I would say a lot of people, I mean that I know they'll either be in denial of it and it's obvious to other people around them, or they hit a slump, or in this case, we're all coming out of one of the strangest moments in human history, a grand pandemic. And I know a headline that's been showing up lately is the sense of languishing. That's the term that's being applied, is people. And I know this because I talked to friends of mine whose children, they were like four point X students, really, really on their way up, and suddenly they're.

Barely passing. They're just not motivated at all.

And I think motivation, courage are all parts of this. So what are your responses to it? I don't even know how to ask what I'm trying to ask here fully.

Well, the first thing you said is the key to it in a way that it's the avoiding looking at these things that sets up stress patterns in our body. You know that if you watch, you know, like, I was walking with two friends of mine that had a toddler. He was about 3 years old, and he was learning to run. And he was running in front of us and he tripped and did a total face plant.

But his parents were really beautiful about the way they handled it. They didn't want to jump all over him and say, are you okay? They just kind of took a breath and I saw the little guy turn around and look at his parents almost to say, am I supposed to get really upset right now? And instead they kind of gave him the message that, ah, you know, take a breath and shake it off. And he actually literally did that. He stood up and shook himself off just like a cat or a dog would right after a stress. I don't know if you're familiar with the work of Peter Levine. He's a colleague of mine that studies trauma. Yeah, very excellent work. But he talks about how we don't give ourselves that kind of shaking it off function very often. But the key is when stuff comes up is to open up, to learn from it, rather than to shut down and avoid it. Because the shutting down and avoiding it, the saying no to whatever it is and saying shut up and go away to whatever it is, that sets up a rattle that cannot be tolerated. Ultimately, the rattle, it's just like if you tell a lie to someone you love, you know, And I've had the personal experience of doing this back in my pre Katie days. Fortunately, I learned A lot of these message lessons before I manifested Katie because I sure wouldn't want to have perpetrated them on her. But there was a time in my 20s when I looked my girlfriend right in the eye and told her I had not had sex with this other person when guess what? I actually had. And so it was what I think most people call a lie. And.

You cannot get away with that. You cannot do that. You cannot lie for very long without the universe finding out. And of course she immediately found out about it. Probably because I'm one of the world's worst liars when I tried to lie. I get all hanged on, you know, and.

The long lasting effects of having a hugely critical mom when I was growing up in a single parent family.

Oh, they can spot that stuff a million miles away. That's right.

Oh yeah, yeah. And trying to lie in that situation is just hopeless. But it's the act of avoiding. It's the act of being called upon to face and feel something and choosing instead to make it an act of denial, changing the subject, moving off it. That's a common pattern and it sets up rattles in ourselves that causes actual physical illness as well as emotional lack of well being.

Okay, so I want to continue down this path of.

So let's just get into the how of receiving. Because in the case of your patient, this person who my read on it is being raised in a Middle Eastern community, there's a lot of epigenetic trauma in a lot of these societies. I know Vivian told me stories years ago about a, you know, she was raised Jewish, her parents are holocaust survivors, you know that part. But she dated an Arab man and he grew up in a traditional Muslim home or first of all, dating a Jew was not good. That was, that was, you know, that was massive conflict right there. The second part was he drank alcohol and he was constantly tortured. He just was.

And.

He smoked. But he tasted the western world and he simply could not resolve the conflict.

So some of this is sometimes stuff that's inflicted upon us, sometimes it's self inflicted. Like you were talking about lying. But let's talk about getting past it, tuning up the receiver and opening up to the upper limits once we identify it and feel our way through it and don't deny it and push it down any longer.

Yeah, tuning up your awareness, taking a stand, making a commitment to be more aware of your upper limit stuff is a great place to start because you never know exactly when it's going to happen. But here's the thing. If you let's say you're driving on the freeway, but you're driving with a pair of very, very dark sunglasses, so you can't really see what's going on. Well, you can't see things until they're right up on you. But if you take off the dark glasses, you can see cars that are half a mile or a mile away. Well, the same thing happens once you begin to open up your awareness and expand your ability to receive just by the act of opening up and making your life about that. It makes it easier to see the things that are coming at you. So you get to see things that would trigger you, but you see them out there on the edge of the clearing, so to speak, so they don't seem as scary to you. So the starting place for any big change like that is to make a commitment to spotting your upper limit stuff faster. Make a commitment to it. Make a commitment to it right this moment. Take a stand for being willing to spot your stuff quicker so that you can move through it more nimbly. And I've been thinking about this for, you know, a long time, 50 years now, pretty much, and have helped a lot of people work through things like this. So at this part, I can see things on the horizon that might have waited till I. They were right up in my face now. But don't beat yourself up if you, you know, if you don't see them till they're right upon you, because that's how you learn. The quicker that you can shift to learning, though, quit beating up on yourself and shift to learning. That's when you really make progress because it's that openness to learning that allows you to slip through the world in a kind of. Without getting dinged all the time.

Okay, and so what wound up happening with your client? How long did it take to have a resolution and how much of this is and was resolvable? You know, like how, how close to instantaneous? Like, what kind of progress have you seen and what's been the norm?

Well, in her case, it got handled in an hour and a half. That was the length of our time together.

The way I work with people now is that most people come to me by signing up for a two hour, what I call a big leap, one on one intensive. And I do a couple of those every month. And so that's what she was engaging in. So it usually lasts about an hour and a half or two hours. But where she got to was feeling.

Resolved about it instead of frantic. So she came in pretty frantic, having injured herself not Able to sleep, looking real rattled, not feeling good in her body. And by just systematically working through these things, becoming aware of them opening up, it's kind of like going deeper and deeper and deeper and suddenly realizing, oh, I see. I was labeled as not worthy of love. That didn't have anything to do with me. It was simply because I was born.

In her case, she was born just before her father decided to take on another wife. And in his culture, you can do that, but it often doesn't make the people that are left behind feel really great.

Those are some great.

If you need a whole bunch of kids to work on the farm in today's world. Yeah. Not very effective.

No. And so it leaves, you know, various kinds of trauma and so. But it was beautiful to watch. You know, I get to see that all the time, where people sort of start pretty agitated, and they end up in that space of oneness and serenity. It's very beautiful, but it's actually.

It kind of looks on the surface like magic and miracles, but what it has to do with is you make your own magic and miracles by. You come up to these places that are hard to love and accept, and then somebody maybe helps you love and accept them.

And it's that act of avoiding them, not knowing how to open up to them, that causes the stress. It's not the thing itself that's the cause of the pain. It's how we relate to the thing.

Because she has a sister, for example, that related to it in an entirely different way. And so, you know, that's why life on Earth is not a predictable phenomenon, because you can have four people that grow up in the same family. One becomes the Nobel Prize winner, one becomes a sex worker, another one becomes a diplomat, and the fourth one becomes a junkie. You know, you just never can tell all sorts of situations, even though the core unit might be the same. So it's a matter, I think, also of being willing to inquire into yourself in a friendly manner. So many of us try to go to work on ourselves. Like you go to work by chopping down a tree stump. You know, it involves a lot of.

And whereas really, it's. I think, the most successful rapid growth is a process of gentle, benign opening that has to do with the fact that human beings at our very core aren't like tree stumps. We're not things that need to be chopped and uprooted. What we need to be are things that need to be opened up and included and invited into the wholeness of ourselves. It's learning to let your mind into your body and let your body into your mind. All that stuff that we carry around down in our bodies, letting that just come up into your mind and inform your mind there's nothing down there to be afraid of. Because if it was going to harm you, it would have already harmed you. And so being aware of it isn't going to be dangerous in any way. It can be very helpful though, because if you know, you're upset in your life and it has to do with Something that happened 30 years ago, that's very empowering because then you can say, okay, I don't need to take this personally in the present. So that was, that's kind of the big punchline at the end of a lot of growth things is, oh, I see where this came from. Now I'm free to open up to more love and positivity in the present.

That's very good. Very good. Well, I think as I was listening to what you're describing.

It'S when you're in a state of meditation, or I'll even go so far as to say plant medicine experience.

Or looking into the cosmos or looking through a telescope, all these things are very related. I could feel my way through your truth as you were describing it. Boy, that sounds woo woo as all hell. But.

It just has to do with sticking with the smooth and acceptance and.

Being open, exploratory and just willing to experience whatever is moving your way. But I also think it's. It's important that when I, in knowing you, as long as I have gay, you are very deliberate on what you wish to experience. In other words, it's sort of like you've got your North Star and you keep it there all the time. And there's.

You don't allow variability to enter into what your North Star is.

That's true. Yeah. I think that's a valuable thing that we all need to get in touch with is what is that North Star? I did a thing on Instagram this week. It's probably the most popular thing I've ever done. I had a little two minute video and I was talking about what's your deal with the universe? You know, like, how are you? There's this great.

Navajo word that hakomi, which means how do you stand in relation to the worlds around you? How are you in relationship to the world? And I was talking about what I called a deal with the universe that I made many years ago, where I had a direct conversation with the universe around me. And I said, okay, I Don't want to keep track of the details here about money and that kind of stuff. I'm willing to give everything I have to the service of learning about transformation. And I'm willing to share all of that so that other people's lives can be made better because of that. That's my deal. I want to. That's what I want to give. And I'd like to be fully supported so I don't have to think much about money and logistics and stuff like that. And, boy, has that come true. That deal.

That deal has been worth tens of millions of dollars. And just giving up control over the stuff that I'm not a genius at, you know, Now I pay accountants every year, far more than I used to make in a year.

But it's a good deal. It's part of a really good deal because it's the universe taking care of the stuff that I don't want to have to take care of. So I have a friend in the entrepreneurial world that has never spent less than $5 million a year on legal fees.

Unbelievable.

20, 30 years in his world. 5 millions of dollars a year at least on legal, and some years more than that. That's a big life, you know. But.

Whatever it takes to make your deal work with the universe, I want everybody to have a deal that makes them feel good and everybody else around them feel good. I see way too much suffering among many of my entrepreneurial colleagues as I go around the world. And I don't think it has anything to do with the amount of money that's at play, because you can get just as frantic around a billion dollars as you can around $100. And, you know, I've been in rooms where people lost or made billions of dollars at a time, and I've been around where people lost $50 playing golf and got mad about it. You know.

It'S not exactly about the game, but I really like putting a kind of a. A point on this conversation that has to do with noticing those moments where you contract and aren't willing to receive and going into those moments instead of pulling back away from going into him. How did I do that? How did I block my ability to receive in that situation? That question is going to be goldmine for you.

Well, it reminds me of a exercise we do at the very beginning of all of our sessions. And I don't know if I've shared this with you before, it's so simple, but it's a grounding exercise where normally it's done looking at the ocean, smelling the ocean, imagining that you're sending roots into the center of the earth. And like, think of it like bird feet touching and holding on and then still remaining as flexible as a palm tree. And I always do it from our beach place because I get to see the trees, I get to see the ocean, I get to smell it and feel it. And imagine that the universe represents infinite abundance, or the ocean, rather represents infinite abundance, capable of feeding you, providing you with all that you need for your life and many lifetimes to come. And then asking the question, how do you want to feel right now and all the time? What emotion do you want to feel all the time? And I say, give me a couple words. And we always write it down. And over a course of two or three days, I check in with whoever I'm working with a couple times a day and say, rate it on a scale 1 to 10, how close to feeling that way are you right now? And sometimes it's about feeling.

Heroic.

For example, it could be experiencing or feeling clarity.

Connection. You know, there's a variety of different phrases that pop up all the time.

But one thing that I, when I'm at my finest, and the truth is, I oftentimes allow myself to get into the busy instead of focusing on the feeling side and the emotional aspect of. Of life. But I've got a big old whiteboard and I write on it, you know, what feeling do I want to experience today? And what are the three big rocks I have and what can I do for those to be joyful expressions, for it not to feel like work? And I don't know if I told you about this, gay, but I had a little mind game I've been playing lately, which is.

If you can evolve from being a human doing to a human being, to a human expression.

That to me is a great peak state of what being a fully evolved, or at least a committed, evolved human is to think of your life as a human expression. And that involves constantly.

Growing and regenerating and rebirthing and being open and flowering all the time. So.

All right, well, let's have one of those standing by the beach moments right now and just celebrate our being in the world. And wherever you are and wherever you're accessing this, just take a moment and celebrate your special being in the world this very moment.

Excellent. Well, I've enjoyed this conversation. Any further fine points you want to put on this mike?

No. That was a blast. Thank you for just going down multiple layers and levels. It was great. And I always love hearing stories about the people you work with. I'm a sucker for a story and a transformation. I always am. And you've got great ones.

I do. I live on a steady diet of miracles. So whenever you want to hear one, just tap me on the shoulder.

Every episode is the answer to that question so well. So I'm going to wrap this up with if you've enjoyed this and you'd like to experience this kind of experience in your life, we want to encourage you to check out the Big Leap Experience, which is@bigleappodcast.com you just scroll down to the Big Leap Year Experience with us. Also, you can learn more by texting the letters BL28584345316. And with that, well, if you've enjoyed this, make sure you leave us a comment, post it on itunes or wherever you're consuming the content and we'll see you in the next episode.

Thanks a lot, everybody.

Sam.