Your 3 Subconscious Stories That Sabotage You

Most people are not aware of the stories that are ruling them. They have no idea. About 95% of what we do is actually pre programmed. Even though we're adult, often we get stuck as a child because we keep recreating the same stories over and over again.

Before I had my big struggle, in my case, a couple of them, you know, they're my reinvention moments. You know, I've had five significant professional ones. If you would have said what's your why? I couldn't answer that until I had already been through the storm. The why showed up afterwards.

How am I going to use this challenge to my advantage? What is this asking me to do that I wouldn't be doing otherwise? Is it driving me somewhere I need to go? Is it asking me to master something? Creating a new game?

Yeah.

A game of creating an amazing, extraordinary life. Not just an average life, but an extraordinary life.

Just24 hours ago I sat down to face one of my biggest professional fears and challenges has to do with employees and scaling. Now a few hours later, my 21 year old son experienced the same process. But for him it was about procrastination. For him, the root cause had to do with a very raw, authentic fear he has about living up to my expectations. And just a few minutes ago, my wife Vivian was able to transform a huge challenge she's been dealing with and that is a 21 year old. But she went back to the moment he was born and she got to re experience where a lot of her deep fear and anxiety came from. And you're probably wondering, well, what does this have to do with what's the system? Why did all this stuff happen? And that's what this show is all about. Now I've been a big fan of personal development for as long as I can remember and that started with my mom gave me a book by Augmandino, then I read Napoleon Hill and then wound up attending a Tony Robbins event in 1984 which genuinely changed my life. Right now, at any given time I belong to four to six masterminds and business networks including Genius Network with Joe Polish, strategic coach with my favorite person in the world, Dan Sullivan. He's like a best friend, brother, mentor, father, grandfather all rolled into one. I'm in Flight Club Pathfinder, Mastermind, Mastermind Talk Summit series and I easily invest over $250,000 a year in my personal coaching and therapy. Now I can easily say it has always provided a 10x return just on the money alone. Not counting all the development that takes place the Benefits to my family, my wife, the relationship I have with my son. So what about you? When did your personal and professional journey begin? Do you remember what the first event was, the first book, or what the first experience is? And what are the biggest issues you've overcome? And what are you still challenged by? And do you invest in yourself every year? So today you're going to be exposed to a powerful system that has been used by Jack Canfield who said after 50 years of doing transformational work, the Heart Freedom Method is the missing link I've been looking for. Now, Jack has sold over 600 million books and is co authoring a book with today's guest now, Marcy Schimoff. She's the author of Happy for no Reason and Love for no Reason and other high performing founders, many Hollywood celebrities, Olympic athletes and have worked with her. She's had over 176,000 consultations and sessions. Now, the Heart Freedom Method by Dr. Lise Janelle is a shortcut to discover and eliminate your limiting subconscious stories to live an extraordinary life. I want you to just feel into that for a moment. It's the shortcut to discover and eliminate your limiting subconscious stories to live an extraordinary life. And one of my favorite quotes by Dr. Lees is you won't create what you want in life, you will create what you believe. Now, earlier I was speaking with Vivian and she said something very profound. This work can give you the experiential depth of plant medicine without the drugs, visits to a shaman in South America or questionable legalities. But you'll see how her system can radically shift your reality in minutes. And I've gone through the process, so has my team. And now two of my team members are absolutely enthralled and excited about working with her. So I want to thank you first of all for being here today, Dr. Lees.

Yes, thank you, Mike, for having me. That's so fun. I love working with people like you who keep learning and growing and experiencing life to the fullest. That's the best.

Well, I am.

We met at TLC the first time and I've seen your work. We got to spend some time together now. We've been working together and I've spent three days with you. And my favorite part of this, other than the fact that just watching my wife crying with you a moment ago, I mean, she really went to a deep place and that just really touched me. And also just how vulnerable Zach got when he worked with you. I didn't know what he was experiencing. Even though we talk a lot about this. I mean, at 21, he's remarkably transparent. But what really excited me was Abby, who's been working with you, was really motivated by it. And then Elliot, our creative director, spent an hour and a half with you and he just said, you know, he had a mind blowing insight which I don't even know all of it yet. He hasn't shared it with me. But let's begin with the subconscious because You've done over 126,000 sessions over 34 years, which is a lot. Let's begin with the subconscious because that is the key to what you do beyond what happens inside the heart.

Yeah, exactly. Well, most people don't know and that's why I like that quote. You won't create what you want, you create what you believe. Because people are not aware that relatively speaking, your conscious mind. So you set a goal, you have, you know, I'm going to meet this budget this year. I'm going to have been my relationship or my health, I'm going to lose weight, I'm going to have top performance as an athlete. All of these things, that's your conscious part is about, relatively speaking, the size of a football. Your subconscious mind that's in charge of your survival, it's there to keep you alive. Without the subconscious mind, something would have happened to get to you is the football field. So look at the size of the football versus the football field. And most people are not aware of the stories that are ruling them. They have no idea. About 95% of what we do is actually pre programmed. It comes from the stories we created since we were in the womb coming through and they are still ruling us even though we're adult. Often we get stuck as a child because we keep recreating the same stories over and over again.

It's so interesting. And what you talk about, closing the gap between this conscious and subconscious is the key to 10x boosting your performance. So.

I know like a tremendous amount of your work has been certifying coaches you've worked with a lot of and still do work with a lot of elite performers, high performers, Olympians, Hollywood types, a lot of business owners.

Why don't you talk about like the commonalities there and you know where you see the big 10x happen. And I know we're going to provide at least some B roll, if not some real clips of some of the transformational work we've been doing. I'll probably show a clip of Vivian if I can, if she's okay with that. But just talk about where the breakthroughs happen and why.

Well, the best way is to give you an example. For example, this Olympic level skier came to see me. She was on the World cup, and she had not placed in two years. So look at that. She was a Canadian skier. Olympic level skier. In Canada, you don't get much money, so you're doing this for no money. You're training all the time. You don't have any social life. So obviously, relatively speaking, consciously, her mind wanted to win. But when I did the work with her, we found the moment that she had created, the belief that went against that. And it was when she was a little kid. She was already winning a lot, and her brothers were not. So her mom, not to upset the brothers, was hiding her medals, was hiding the trophies, so she didn't have to, you know, made them feel upset. So now she had associated.

Winning with upsetting other people.

Yeah.

And so when you hang around your teammates, they kind of become like siblings. Even your competitors, sometimes they go for a drink afterwards. So subconsciously, she was constantly holding herself back not to win. Yeah. So even though consciously, obviously, like, look at the size of the determination you must have consciously to be an Olympic level athlete, subconsciously she was still sabotaging herself. So we did two sessions together. So I did, you know, other stories that were there, but she ended up placing on the podium that time. And I would like to give the listener an experience of what it's like to have condition response, because I'm going to guide you to a very easy one. Be very present. So if you're present, you're going to feel it. All right? So I want you to imagine that I have a nice juicy lemon in front of you, and I cut this lemon in half, and it's squirting, and you can smell the lemon. I'm taking that half of a lemon and I'm cutting it in half again. So I have a nice quarter of a lemon. It's juicy. And I'm asking you to bite into it. Please bite into my lemon.

Yep. Okay.

I'm salivating. Are you salivating? I've done this with so many people. Like, right now, for me, like, I'm feeling the salivation, it's pucker inside my mouth. I don't have a lemon. But your physiology right now is responding as though there is a lemon in front of you. So we end up associating certain events with certain reaction, and consciously you want to override them, but you can't because your physiology is just bringing the back. That's why? It's amazing for athletes, people have responsibilities and people who know that when they're going get stuff, they got to be clear minded. They want to have no self doubt that the, the decision they're taking is the appropriate decisions. Those are the people who usually love working with, with me. Parents who don't want to bring their stories onto their kids and entrepreneurs and in love life. Like you can use this anytime where, you know, you don't want to be bothered by the stories.

Right?

Right.

Well.

I know you and I haven't talked about this yet, but I've been deep into Walter Isaacson's book, the biography about Elon Musk. And in that Walter spent well over 100 hours with Elon, which is very unusual that he like, he did not get to do that when he was with Steve Jobs. And you really get into knowing why Elon is the way he is, where his dad was super, just a total jackass to him. I mean really, really mean. And he got the crap kicked out of him. Plus he was Asperger, so he was socially awkward. People made fun of him, just beat the crap out of him. He was small until he wasn't and he learned some judo. But before that, ultimately you really get a strong sense of where his willingness to just go up against the wall is and fight and fight back and not back down and be ruthless when he had to be. And to this day they talk about dark Elon and, and not dark Eli. Same with jobs and how a lot of high performers.

When I interpret what they're like based upon my experience with your work now what you have the ability to do is go through a process, identify those subconscious stories that are drivers. Oftentimes things we forgotten about were completely unconscious or unaware of that can go back to, you know, in utero or wherever. Right. And.

Just like what happened with Vivian, like she didn't understand where her anxiety was coming from about Zach and where her unconscious fears have been driving her. And I can totally see that after I said, I mean that whole session was less than 20 minutes that you did with her and it was like, boom, okay, breakthrough. And your process allows anyone to learn the process and use it on themselves. You know, you can go through. And I always say, you know, it's better to do an immersive therapeutic session and be held accountable by a coach and do this on a regular basis until it becomes absolutely normal. And it's one of the reasons why, you know, my dad went to church every single day as long as I've known Him until he passed, just about. Well, until he couldn't.

And, you know, it's just because he wanted that kind of reminder, that kind of discipline and.

You know, into, in a lot of ways, I hadn't, I've never said this before, but he was a spiritual high performer. He wasn't just a religious guy. He really, you know, walked it and talked it and he behaved that way, very principled. So I don't know if you have anything to add to that, but these are just my observations. And I'm so raw from this right now. After going through it, observing it, and witnessing it multiple times. Any, any other thoughts about.

So what you were telling about Elon to me is like the perfect example. And I.

I find that there are two stages to human development. The first stage is the unconscious, asleep, infantile stage, and we all get through it. And the second one is the mature, awakened, conscious stage. Everybody gets through stage one, but not everybody makes it to stage two. And what's the difference between stage one and stage two? In stage one, you get your sense of self from way the world reacts to you. So constantly at the mercy of the external world, so you're not in your power. I call stage one hell on earth. But we all have to go through it. And in a way, what's really important to understand is.

That everything that's happened to you that was challenging is not because something was wrong with you. Because if you had your own son going through the same thing you went through, you would know it's not because something is wrong with you. You, as a parent, you would look and say, I love my son. It's not because this has happened that something is wrong with him. He still deserves to be worthy of love. But as, as we go through life with these stories, we, we create self doubt that really hold us back. And I, I, I found an analogy that I find really works well with my clients. Is that. So stage one is kind of like the boot camp.

And I find there are like three types of boot camps. That's my metaphor. So some people are born in a musical boot camp. Life is easy. I always use my yin and yang also, so I'm gonna use.

Show us your yin and yang. You got it right here.

I got my yin Yang. So the Yin and Yang is to represent support and challenges. So if you go into a musical boot camp, like you were born in a family and things were easy, easy peasy. Usually, you know, it's, you're not so strong, you didn't get the development, the push To. To build your. Your strength and your stamina. Then some people are born into an athletic boot camp. And so there you get supported and challenged, so you get pretty good resistance. And then there are people who are born in the. Some people are born into the. What I call the Navy SEAL boot camp. And a Navy SEAL boot camp is.

You know, Hell Week. If you don't die or if you manage to graduate from hell week, like you're a superhero.

Yeah.

And what happened is I find a lot of very driven people often had a Navy SEAL type of upbringing. Like, Elon is a perfect example to me.

Yeah.

And the only problem with the boot camp when we're not awake is that we end up feeling something must be wrong with me for this to happen. And nothing is wrong. And that's a big part of my work, is to show that the bigger the challenge you experience in your life is, just the more it empowered you. And once you can start having gratitude, this is gratitude. This is infatuation, this is resentment. This is gratitude. When you have gratitude for the events of your life, now you're free. The ultimate test is if you. If you could do it all over again, would you do it? Or would you let your own kids go through the same? And if you can say yes, that means you're totally free. You can, you know, you've healed your life. So basically, the pain that we experience in stage one, that's what we try to do. We try to run away from pain towards pleasure in stage one. In stage two, this is. Remember this. This is my visual for success. All right, so this is the Y, the yin, which is the female principle of listening. Even if you're a man, you have the yin. And this is the Yang, which is the male principle of acting. So to be truly successful, you need to listen to your heart. And your heart wants you to know two things. The first thing your heart wants you to know is you're worthy of love. I want you to do everything it can, you can to get rid of the illusion to the opposite. The second thing your heart wants you to do is it wants you to admit your dreams and aspirations. You need to become clear. You need to know who you are, why you're here. Because it's like if I gave you a canvas with paint, but you don't know what kind of picture you want to paint. Every day you wake up, you put some paint on your. On your canvas, you won't have something very beautiful. But if, you know, like, you want to paint a horse or a bear, Or a bird, then you can have something powerful. So most people don't spend the time creating clarity around what is it that makes my heart sing? Not what society tells me I should do. Like, I've worked with Hollywood people. Like they have fame, they have millions of fans, they have private jets, the whole thing. And they're still not happy. Why? Because you will never find true success outside of yourself. You need to pay attention. And then it becomes about getting organized to, to take the, the time that you have. You're really good at that. Like, you are so efficient with your time. Like you know your values, you know what you're doing and you organizing your time around your highest value, that's what makes you successful. And I see a direct correlation between men and women who are highly aware of their highest value and organize their time around that. And that makes you. So stage two, I call that creating heaven on earth. I know you're not too far too much of a fan of it.

Yeah, I always get afraid that it gets misunderstood.

It's not really just.

And I don't understand, you know, like, okay, what does that mean? I mean, like I kind of know what I mean. But you know, like my left brain's not engaged. I get it on the right brain side. So it just depends on which yin or which yang I'm sitting on that time.

So if, if you like, stage one is kind of like hell on earth because you're constantly spinning and all these things, trying to find your worth and it never works because you're trying to change how people feel about you so you feel worthy. So it's. For me, it feels like hell. So when you enter stage two, it's like it becomes a new game. The game is I'm going to listen to my heart and then I'm going to organize my time. Because our time like can be pulled every which way, every day, every second. Like you go into the computer, you go on the Internet and now all of a sudden you go, wow, where am I? So that's why we need to be really clear about what it is we want in life and then organize. And the more you do that, the happier you're going to feel. Because it's like if you speak to me and while you speak to me, I look away after a while. If we were in a long term relationship and I did that to you all the time, you probably feel like she doesn't care about me, make you feel depressed. Yeah, well, your heart is speaking to you all the time, is saying, hey, I want this, and you're not paying attention. But let's say you speak to me and you tell me that, hey, I like Thai food. Next time we get together, I make a reservation at Thai restaurant. You're going to go, wow. Not only did she listen to me, but she did something for me. And the same thing will happen to you when you listen to your heart and you organize your time to give your heart what it wants. You feel that little velour. It's like, ah, paying attention. This is how you actually lift depression. Because I'm going to use a word, hypocrite. And I'm using because we cannot be hypocrites. Expecting the world around us to drop everything they're doing to give us the happiness that we are not even invested in giving ourselves. And it's not a selfish thing, because if you listen to your heart, your heart is going to say, I want to be loved and I want to love. So you're not going to be selfish, because if you love, you won't be selfish. Like, the more you pay attention to your heart, it's going to be holistic. You're going to touch on all the different areas of your life and you're going to start living from a level that I love to do, not I got to do. Yeah, but I love to do it that way. And that really increases your energy. You want more energy, Start doing the stuff you're doing because you love doing it, not because you got to do it.

Yeah, that's really good. I haven't told you this before, but I use this phrase.

The level above. Being a human being is to be a human expression and to be fully expressed.

Yeah, that's beautiful.

And, you know, I. There's two moments in my life that I think were truly transformational. And when I'm listening to you right now, it's like, okay, how do I spend more time recreating those? And they happen during the most humbling, difficult times. And one of them was a Vivian moment where.

I was really struggling. And it was right after I'd sold my last company. And I sold it because I had to get out. I just had to stop because I thought I was going to die. This is, you know, probably five, six years after cancer. Five years. And I knew that I'd kill myself spiritually if I kept on doing what I was doing. I could just feel it. And I was suicidal and depressed for the first time that I remember in my life, which is not my normal mo so it was sort of like I had A what do they say, A four alarm fire call going on. And I had lost my courage and I just.

And it always come from. And I think some of it had to do with this transitional going from doing what I do and feeling like I had to get approval and love because otherwise I couldn't earn. So I was a performer. I wasn't. I, I could be in my heart, but I wasn't all the time. And Vivian said something to me along the lines of.

I've never ever seen you not figure it out. And, and she stopped me and said, you're a multi millionaire. You know, there's nothing to worry about, you're going to be fine. Like you could just not do anything for years and we'll be fine. And I'd never really felt into that before. It was like I was still on a race that my 20 year old self was on and it just, that was a bad subconscious program. Well, or a good one from your point of view.

Right, It's a good one in stage one, but it runs, it runs out of fuel. Like that's what ends up happening. And we're driven. And I find for many men when I work with them is that their whole sense of self is in making money. And if they're not money, nobody's going to love me. Which is not true.

Yeah, yeah. And I had been past that stage, but I hadn't, I was stuck at level one. I really see that now when I, when I listen to you and understand your process now. I've seen it mapped out, you know, we've been spent three days on this together. The second big breakthrough was, and I've talked about this on this podcast before was I went to Dan, I said, what do you think I should do next? And he said, well, you need to talk to seven entrepreneurs and ask him some questions. And he said, you're gonna know. It won't take long. And it took two conversations and I knew what I'd be doing next, which is what I'm doing now, you know, and, and it's, and what you said, I think is right when I finally really, really got clear on my worth and my time and could turn off everything else.

And it. Without the illusion that something was going to go away or I wouldn't be enough. So it was the separation from the level one. And I never realized that until just now listening to you. So thank you for that, that was great. All right, so I'm going to ask you a couple more questions if I would.

Because you have some really Powerful, smart tools, and they're vehicles to.

Open up the subconscious awareness and stop living inside this unconscious.

Insanity. Okay, the first one, we've been calling it the insanity loop. So why don't you just tell us what the insanity loop is and what is causing it and then how you shatter it or break it.

So basically, there are three parts to the unconscious phase of life, which is the stage one, and one is we run away from pain towards pleasure. So let's say you were born in a family and your brother was very academic, but you didn't do so well at school, Maybe you became a really good athlete. So we off, we, we find ways of compensating, but we're in compensation. Often it drives us and it's important. It gives us talents, insights, networks that we belong to. But it's still driven from fear. The fear something is wrong with us. The other mechanism in the cycle of insanity is our ego. We swear we're never going to be like my mom, my dad, my brother, my sister, my uncle whoever. So we we using ego to drive us, or we try to be like them because we think they're so amazing. So instead of trying to be ourselves, we're trying to be or not to be someone. And that creates this sense that you're going nowhere because it's not your heart, but it does drive you and gives you access to amazing things you wouldn't get going on otherwise. And then the third one is the subconscious belief, the Pavlovian condition response that we've been talking about. So those three things are there, and the way out of stage one is to become really curious as to how your stage one was helping you become everything you want to be. Deep down. Once you understand, you can look at it as the boot camp. It's just a boot camp. Like if you send your kids to a bootcamp and they come back, is it because something is wrong with them that they went to that boot camp? No. So the boot camps that you were introduced into on planet Earth, they were important. They were part of your divine design. Like, I'm not religious, I'm spiritual. And I believe that nothing happens without it being connected to the deepest desires within your heart. And you will attract support and challenge to help you get there. And I've asked this to thousands of people. You know, I do public speaking, and when I teach myself, raise your hand if you've never had huge challenges. And so far, only one person raised their hand. It was a young girl. She goes, me? Yeah, yeah, sorry. And I'm Scared, like when something's going to happen, what's going to happen to me? Because if you're a superior human being, if you got your act together, what you're going to learn to do is you're going to learn to use all the challenges to your advantage. Don't run away from challenges. Ask yourself. I find there's two reasons why we have a challenge. It's either because you need to master something, because if you hadn't mastered, obviously it wouldn't be a challenge. So you're being asked to learn something. The second one is it's sending you in a direction that you either know that you need to go, but you're resisting going because you're stuck in your comfort zone. Yeah, I know I need to change my job. This is killing me. I'm making good money, I'm going to stay there. But deep down it's killing you. So then you attract what I call the baseball bat. Something happens when you go, wow, like I can't stay there. Or sometimes we don't even know. And that's how actually I ended up doing this kind of work. Because in 1988, my father was diagnosed with terminal cancer. He was given nine months to live. That was three weeks before my sister's wedding. One week after my sister's wedding, my 21 year old brother died in a car accident. And then within a month of this, my eight year relationship to the man I thought I was going to marry. And it was like, ow, ow, ow, ow. So that challenge that I face, I was not aware, but it sent me on the quest to understand how do you live life.

When these things happen? Because it's not if they will happen and it's not because something is wrong with you. That's what's super important. Once you start looking at life as everything happening for you and instead of to you, it creates a shift in your consciousness that creates a different reality. Because if you change the reactions to the events of your life, you will change your future imagination and therefore your destiny. So by shifting your.

Perception of the event, by taking the time, if you love yourself enough, you're going to these things that happen that I remember. If I take the time and make a list of all the blessings that came in my life from it just doing that, you've transcended a big part of the stories that have been driving you. You can still do the subconscious belief, but at least consciously you can shift that. So when you have a smart person, they're not going to get stuck in only Reproducing what's fun because that takes you on tangents that take you away from your heart and you won't.

Resist the challenges. You start thinking them, you go, it sounds corny, but it works. Take a breath and you go, since I'm worthy of love, how am I going to use this challenge to my advantage? What is this asking me to do that I wouldn't be doing otherwise? How is this to my benefit? Is it driving me somewhere I need to go? Is it asking me to master something? And once you start doing this, like you're fully in stage two, creating a new game, a game of creating an amazing, extraordinary life. Not just an average life, but an extraordinary life.

Hey, this is Mike Koenigs. Sorry to interrupt the podcast, but if you're an action taker and ready to transform and reinvent yourself and your business, go to connecttomike.com to learn more and book a conversation with me right now. All right, back to the episode. You and I have gotten into, spirited conversations because.

There'S two things, and I think I told you this. So one of the things that you're really good at doing, you really genuinely live in in the world of what I would call a reframe. Right? And.

Joe Polish calls.

These things success traps. You know, when you get into a point where you're just living in the pleasure and you're avoiding growth. And I was with a ultra high net worth individual last night, had a conversation, and he was telling me how much he wants to reinvent himself, how much he wants his next act. But when I told him about some of the mental and emotional risks he'll have to take, he of course retreated back into his little safe, happy zone. And I just stopped him at some point and I go, you know what your real issue is? You're bored. You know, you aren't challenged anymore. And you wouldn't have reached out and asked for this, but now you're trying to talk yourself out of it and you're stuck in the success loop and. And that's why, you know, you don't feel like you're growing.

That's why. That's why you need a great why. Yes. You need a bigger why. Yeah. Than what you have right now.

Exactly.

Like, sometimes people, when, you know, they want to coach with me, I do an exploration call sessions with them. And, you know, I asked them, what are their dreams and aspirations? And then I asked them, so how committed are you to making it happen? Oh, they say like seven or eight. I said, like, do you know Anything that's going to happen, that's seven or eight, like why not 10? Then I say, imagine that unless you make this happen, your child is going to die. Would you make it happen? They go, yeah. And I said, so what's the difference? You know, you could have it, but you're not willing to do the work for yourself. But you would be willing to do it for somebody else, Right? So you need to find your why. What's my why? Why am I going to get out of my comfort zone? And I can guarantee you from actually got to be on stage with the people from the movie the Secret and the law of attraction and that. And I use this. And I got a kick out of doing that for them because this is a true law of attraction. You stay in your comfort zone, feel what does, you know, easy, pleasureful, attract challenges. Either you get the baseball bat like I got in 1988, or you feel depressed, something happens. You cannot creating just one polar. You need both polarities to have. So if you stay in your comfort zone, you attract challenges, but if you challenge yourself, you attract happiness. You will not have more pain and pleasure and more pleasure than pain. The only thing you can do is choose the form. It's going to come in your life. Maybe I'm a control freak, but I would rather challenge myself than wait for the baseball to do it for me.

I, I agree. I agree. I think that's being in a place of service where you're constantly challenged is, is, is key to that. Okay, so let's move on to another one. It's jumping from level one to two. And you've got this little story about Helgi. Because.

One of the unexpected.

Things, like I had my own near death circumstance, which really taught me a lot about.

Patience and time and the value of time, but also the preciousness of body, you know, And I, I never would have said I took my body for granted. But you really learn how not to take your body for granted when it's broken and doesn't work and you're not sure if you'll ever get it back again. So why don't you tell the Helgi story because it's a good level one to level two, which is another one of your tools.

Yeah, well, Helgi, it was interesting. Helgi was. She's really driven. She's so smart, she's amazing. And she was a lawyer on Bay street in Canada, which is like the Wall street of United States. And she was partner there and she was doing all these things, but her heart was not feeling so good there, and she wanted to shift, but she was stuck in her comfort zone. And she went to. On a holiday in Corsica, and she had a car accident where the car is spinning, she's outside her body, and she's going, like, I think I need to do this. So then her coaching became. With me, it's like, okay, you're gonna help me transition from this place. And, like, a lot of people are very driven. It's hard to let go of the image and the sense of self that we get from, you know, how we are performing.

Mm.

And so I helped her do that and become more connected to her heart. And. And she says what she's done now is she does. She does what she loves instead of tolerating what she was doing just to get the money.

But when you went back, because I remember one of the things that you talked about before she went through this moment. She wound up becoming one of your certified coaches. But her barriers, the blocks that she wasn't aware of, maybe she was, but it was her programming about her upbringing with mentally ill parents. But, like, what was when you did the deep work and you really got to her core, subconscious programming that was keeping her stuck that you see in so many people. Like, what was that?

The sense that she would be only safe if she was doing the things she's got to do instead of the things that she loved to do.

So in that particular case, she had been in survival mode so long that she didn't. Couldn't see it.

And it was so cool because once she, you know, she stopped being a lawyer, it took her, like, a year about. More. A bit than a year to heal herself. She says, I realize I'm so exhausted, and I didn't like. And when I hear these stories, I feel so happy because my background. Holistic chiropractor. So I understand health, and I know that if she had not stopped, she would have attracted some kind of disease to make her stop. We can't cheat the system. We really can. We think we can hide in pleasure. It won't work very long. It doesn't happen. So that's why we need to have a big why? What's your why? Why do you want to do this? Why do you want to transition into something bigger, better? Sometimes it's about stopping to do things and looking at your life. And how am I going to look at all the different parts that matter to me? My family, my health, my career, my finances. Like, the quality of the life that you live depends on the quality of the questions you ask. So if you ask a high quality question, it's like, how can I make the same amount of money working half as much so I have more time to do all the other things? That becomes a new game. And you will find the answer. The more you play that game, the more that's going to become your game.

So I am curious, though, out of the over, you know, over 120,000 sessions that you've done. And.

I know if before I had my big struggle, in my case, a couple of them, you know, they're my reinvention moments. You know, I've had five significant professional ones.

I.

If you would have said, what's your why? I couldn't answer that until I had already been through.

The storm. The. The why showed up afterwards. So in your experience, is anyone good at figuring out their why before the moment, before the cycle? And, like, what's that look like? And what's the tool to identify, find, and be able to get to that destination?

That's a great question. I have a seminar called Extreme Freedom. Because for me, freedom is the ability to live by the values of your heart. It's the value. It's being able to listen to your heart and then do what your heart does. And so there we create a statement of purpose. We spend a whole day asking you why. What's my why? But in a nutshell, I can give you the Coles note.

Okay?

The Coles note is your mission in life, if you wish to accept it, is to bring the best out of yourself. And when you do that, what's the why for that? Just to bring the best of yourself is an amazing experience. You feel alive, you feel. Feel like you're. You're doing what you're supposed to be doing. I remember watching an interview with Cindy Claussen, and she's a Canadian Olympics skate skier, skate skater, and she won five medals at the Olympics. She also did cycling. And she was like. She. Her. Her legs are like this big. And the interviewer asked herself, what do you think is the secret to your success? She goes, well, I feel God has given me these talent, and my job is to bring the best out of them. So if you take time, like, you know, as kids, we look to our parents to take care of us. And if you're a parent, often you look at your little kid and you go, okay, how am I going to bring the best out of my kid? How am I going to bring this being to be the best version of themselves? Well, now you're not A kid. Nobody is in charge of doing this for you. You're in charge of doing that for yourself. Like, you need to spend. Like, how am I going to bring the best out of myself? And, like, the knowledge area, the family area, the finance, the career, your health, your environment, your spiritual life, all of these environments are important. How can I bring. I call that living the game of life. So how am I going to use all the different areas of my life and start living instead of from the got to level to the love to level?

Okay. Okay. So let's do.

Conscious subconscious cycle one another. One of your tools. And you and I talked about. You've worked with a bunch of Olympians, but there was. I think Larissa and Alex were two of them. So once you talk about the conscious subconscious cycle as a tool, and you know you had two high performers, both of them had reached their upper limit ceiling. Right.

Which again, typical for all high performers. And it's usually in a place. You've been ignoring mine for a long time was like, I had a deep fear of team building because I had made so many bad mistakes. And it's interesting. I think I've mentally gotten past a lot of them, but I still had the subconscious programming operating until we did our little session the other day. I'm like, okay, now I know where at least I have a fundamental. You know, I let the old fear go, and I wasn't conscious of what the haunting was. So talk a little bit about the conscious subconscious.

Yeah, you can know the story in your head, but as long as you don't take care of the subconscious part, and the subconscious, actually, this is your whole body is your subconscious. So you store. Just like when I did the lemon story, you know, ringing the bell, all this, and then you. You. You start salivating. It's the same thing for us until you cannot do what we call spiritual bypass. Oh, yeah, I know. This is good. You know, this, like, this doesn't touch me because, you know, I'm enlightened. Bs you need to take the time to become present with it so that the neuropeptides are taken out of your body. And then when you can actually integrate it by seeing how it was actually perfect for you, and then you bring it to the moment of gratitude. It's an amazing transformation that happened. You cannot do this through your head. It will come back all the time. It's not eliminated. As long as it's only your head that knows this, it's not going to go away. You need to integrate it, and that's why I created this method called the heart freedom method that allows me to find a moment. You store the story, I dissolve it from you physiology, and then I allow you to move consciously forward. So basically your heart, you know, is your highest consciousness. It's like subconsciously, you know, you want a certain goal. And then when you align your subconscious now you don't have the resistance anymore, then you can take actions. Because the only difference between an ordinary person and an extraordinary person is their ability to take action. So the big thing I do when I work with my clients is I help remove the blocks that prevent them, the stories that prevent them from being successful. And then, you know, from working with thousands of people, I see like general patterns. Our relationship with our mother often rules the romantic life, the familial life. What we learn about love comes from there. I would say it's 80, 20. Our relationship with our father is how successful we can be in life, in our career and finances.

And our siblings, how big we can be in the world. So when I work with top performing athletes or even people like you're at work and you want a promotion.

It'S always your colleagues that get the promotion, never you. Why? Because at some level there's a fear that if I step up into my greatness, it's going to upset other people around me, especially men and their father. There's a subconscious belief that it's like the alpha male in the family is the father. And if you're the, you know, the younger one, you the beta, if the beta becomes more successful than the alpha, it will threaten the dynamics of the family. So often sun will hit the ceiling within their consciousness. They allow themselves to go to that. They think, okay, so my parents could accept that. That's why when I read the biography with Lance Armstrong, I saw how his anger with his father, remember the three mechanism. One was his ego. I'm gonna show my father. So he was able to be more successful than his father because his anger was driving him like Elon's anger was driving him. So you can go further. So we have all these patterns happening and we're not even aware of it. So people think that they know what their beliefs are and they have no idea. Like last week, I'm working with this man, pretty cool guy. I love working with men because often men are not comfortable feeling their emotions. But once they understand, if I actually look in there, it's not going to be like this Pandora box I'm going to open that's going to blow up in my Face, actually, if I go in there, I'm going to become more powerful. It's like, like, man, just go. It's so cool. So anyway, I was testing him on being successful and we ended up to seven years old. And he said nothing happened at seven years old. Like, his self worth was impacted. Like, nothing happened. That's a. And then, oh, my God. He said, oh, yeah, I used to stutter and the kids at school used to make fun of me. I was bullied because of that. And it's like he starts crying and he's feeling all these things, but he walked out of the session, like, totally transformed. Guy, you can see it. It's like all of a sudden his energy goes up and it's like he's letting go of the stories that were blocking him.

Yeah, that's the.

Definitely see a physiological change. You could see that with Zach when you did something with him. He definitely walked out. His posture change with Vivian today, I could feel she noticeably felt lighter. And, you know, she's had a heavy heart with a lot of parental stuff over the past few years.

So that's good. And I think I'm going to repeat what you just said about the siblings, and that was something that you saw consistently with the Olympians, is they were held back because they either didn't feel like they had permission or someone would look bad in the family. And I was trying that on because, like, I'm the oldest, so hold us.

Off and do that. We'll hold them. Stand back. Not to make the youngest one cry.

So I, I never did that. I was, I was, I, you know, I, I, I messed with my, my poor, my poor brothers. We get along great now. We really get along great. But they, I mean, I, I, I was pretty ruthless with them, but we, they're like, like with my dad, I never, I just felt misunderstood. Like, he just didn't get me and he thought technology was a big waste. So when he finally saw what I did when I became a millionaire in my 20s, and then again and again and again, he would apologize. He apologized for at least 25 years. Just saying, I just didn't understand. And my mom, to some degree.

That'S a more complicated one with relationships, but with siblings.

I wasn't good at school and I wasn't good at sports. And part of that is I just didn't play games I wasn't good at. So when it came to sibling stuff, there was no rivalry because my parents had no choice but to focus on them. And I got that at an early Age. It was like, I know I definitely had abandonment issues. No, no doubt about it. That definitely motivated me. But my, My mechanism for dealing with it was not to play games I couldn't win. So I made up my own, which is why I've never been good at school. I just didn't care. It wasn't motivated by it. And I'm unemployable. Like, I just wouldn't. I'd be.

That became your blessing.

Yeah.

Being entrepreneurs.

Yeah, I think that's pretty common. When I talk to other entrepreneurs, it's like. And never hire me, but I want.

To talk to this because, like, for example, you say, okay, I never held myself back. But sometimes that's the quantum you play. And because let's say, yeah, you're made to make 100 million, but you're going to stay at 10 million. Because 10 million is reasonable.

Yeah. There's no question.

So it's always relative to you and what you feel. It would be acceptable. And like, with one of the Olympian athletes, it was so interesting because she was younger than her brother and she could run faster than her brother. She could do all kinds of. And he was bigger than her and she could beat him. And she ended up in competition with this athlete who had been playing, who had been wrestling longer than her. So she had the belief that she could not beat her because it would be bad for her ego, that girl. So then you could see. I watched a game go on the. On the mat and it was on tv and I'm watching her and I know her like, she's got this beautiful. And she gets there with that opponent. The other one was not like that. She get on. And all of a sudden I could see the physiology changing. And she lost because she had this belief. So now we've worked on this, I'm really happy. I know it's going to be different the next time she has a competition with her. I think we knit in the butt. I think it's going to be beautiful.

Interesting. Interesting. Well, let's. Let's do the last tool that you have, you call it the Heart Freedom Circle. And it's your integration exercise.

And when we were preparing today, I know you have a couple stories. Like, one of them is a guy named Jeff. And then there's the fat. The couple, they were having.

Health slash sex issues.

So I'm only seeding those two because they're the two things I remember. And I've looked at the Heart Freedom Circle. But why don't you just talk about how you do Your integration. And again, I'm going to make the safe assumption that one of the. We've got several bonuses we're going to provide to our listeners and our viewers. One of them is a masterclass that we've recorded that goes deep into your. How, you know, like how this whole system works. And deeper in some case studies.

More into the tools. We've got a couple other bonuses, a relationship bonus, also a journal bonus. And then I'm going to just go on the record and hopefully Vivian will be cool with us releasing her session, because I think then you can witness the emotion and you can see the physiology shift in. In 20 minutes. So I'm. I'm just going to say those are some of the goodies and giveaways we're going to have here. But, you know, when someone goes through the experience like I have and Zach has, and Vivian.

You'Ve got the heart Freedom Circle, where you really connect all your wants, your desires, your dreams with the emotions. What is it? How's it work? How's that for setting up for you?

Yes, that's a big setup. I start with the promise that our essence is love. It's who we are. It's not an emotion. It's a state of being. It's actually who we are. So the good news with that is that everybody has access to that if they choose to. So the more connected we are with this, the more we still. In some areas of our life, we feel strength. In some of our areas of our life, we feel weaknesses. And these strengths and weaknesses create different emotions, emotions and thoughts that we experience in all the different areas of life that we have. And I love, love, love working with couples, because for me, a romantic relationship is a spiritual evolutionary tool. What do I mean by that? Because the only way you're going to have a great relationship with another person is if you start having a good relationship with yourself. So if you're in a relationship and you start having your buttons pushed in the relationship, and then you start blaming your partner if you're wise, instead, you're going to start using what you don't like in them and reflect it on yourself. For example, you're talking about this couple. So this woman brings me a husband for me to fix him because she thought she was right and he was wrong. And obviously he was wrong because she wanted to have sex with him and he couldn't get any reactions. For sure, she's right, he's wrong. Let's fix him. That's fixing the problem.

Well, I know what the Problem is.

Anyway, so I know better because I've done this long enough. So I turned to her instead and I check her on. I'm ready, willing and able to make love with my husband. And lo and behold, she didn't want. Subconsciously. Consciously, she swore she wanted to, but subconsciously, he had had the stroke three years prior. And she was afraid, what's going to happen to me if I love him with all my heart? And on top of that, we had this great sexual connection. And if she dies, I'm going to be devastated. So she couldn't handle one, but not both.

I said this right away. Every man dreams of dying that way. Every man. I know. Anyway, keep going with the story.

But she was not afraid of killing him. She was afraid for herself if he died. Because it's always what happens to me. It's always about us. And when I tested him and I want to make love with my wife, he was afraid that if he loved her and they had great sex, what would happen to her when he died.

So what I've learned is that in a relationship, any relationship, one person looks like the good guy, the other person looks like the bad guy. But actually, whatever is happening in the relationship serves both people. Because if all of a sudden you had gone, got Viagra or something, and then you had sex with her, she would have run. I know that because I've done this with often enough people that they come to see me. They claim they want this thing. The more you claim you want something from your mate and they're not giving it to you, I guarantee you, deep down, you don't want. Because I think again, from working with thousands of couples.

Having an open heart can work, or having great sex can work. Or having an open heart and great sex, that's the ultimate frontier. This is where you need mastery. Because, again, there's always the polarity in every situation. There's a part of us when you're in a relationship which is afraid of being abandoned. And the other part of us that's afraid of being engulfed. Yeah, and that's a big one. Like, if I love this person, they're gonna ask me to do all these things that I don't have time to do. And I won't be able to do my thing. So I'm just gonna close myself out a little bit. And, you know, if I love them and then on top of that, I have sex with them, I'm gonna lose myself. And that's one of the reasons also, when new babies come in a couple, the Woman often stop wanting to have sex with the partner because she's feeling engulfed. She's feeling, I'm giving my whole self to this baby. I don't have space for myself. And like, don't you dare touch me. Stay away from me. Because she feels she's lost her whole self. That's why if you want to have great sex in your relationship with a new baby, like in the beginning, for sure you need some time just to adapt. But make sure that the woman, especially you, have time for yourself. You need time for self. Because if you don't have time for self, you can only take so much and you won't want your husband to touch you. And it's important. What I want to say about sexuality in a relationship is that if two people have the same sex drive, it's great if one doesn't have a high sex drive and the other one has a high sex drive. Both people's needs are important. It's not because you don't, you have low sex drive that you shouldn't listen to your partner. You know, often it's hormone or some beliefs around sexuality that makes you feel like having sex is a bad thing. You know, find a way that both people are happy. Yeah, it's. It's super important to do that. And then you were asking me about the other one. So I have Jeff. And Jeff should meet Jeff. It's great guy, big burly guy with a beard and a really smart guy. And he does programming and he's very smart. And you wouldn't believe that this guy likes this work, but he's actually amazing at doing the work. It's kind of binary. It's very logical to work. And him and Lindsay, his partner, they say, I don't know how most relationships can go through life without using this tool. Because when you have a fight in your relationship, it's rarely actually about what's happening. It comes from deep seated fear of being abandoned or engulfed. That's what's happening. So you can fix problems that would take years in like half an hour just by finding what's the real story behind this.

Yeah. Yep. Okay.

I have a lot, lot of ideas here, but what I want to do is bring this to.

You've got a variety of programs. You know, I've experienced them. Now you've got your certification program, you've got elite coaching for high performers and families, which I think is really, really cool. Because getting teenagers, getting kids on the same page with parents is always difficult. There's only a few people I know who really do it well.

And then you've got some of your experiential events as well. So why don't you just talk a little bit about who your right fits are.

And then we'll send everyone over and I'm just going to drop this right now. It's heartfreedommethod.com there you're going to get the masterclass, the transcript, relationship checklist, the best friend journal, there's a meditation and then the demonstration. So a lot of really cool goodies. But talk a little bit about the right who's who you have found naturally, like get the most out of this, have the biggest breakthroughs and are also the ones who can share the, the love and make a difference in other people's lives.

Yeah. My ideal clients are people are driven. Driven to live a great life. People come to see me sometimes and they say, you think I can have what I want. And I go, as long as you have an intense desire and you're courageous because you're going to have to get out of your comfort zone. And so people who graduated from the Navy SEAL boot camp, if you had a tough childhood, usually you're my ideal person because you're going to be high performers, you're going to be driven. It will be easy for you to get out of your comfort zone and do what's good for you. So people who are driven, people want to live an extraordinary life, just not an average life. Top performer, athletes, business owner, entrepreneurs, family, people who are open minded and open spiritually. For me, spirituality is highest form of it is unconditional love. So it's not religious, it's spiritual. And yeah, just people willing to do the work to get what they want and they understand Santa Claus doesn't exist.

Yeah.

No unicorns. No unicorns.

No unicorns. Like it was funny because one day I had this client and she was in one of my seminars and she was really upset because she felt nobody's supporting me. Like that's why I say you can never be challenged without being supported. And I go, that's not true. I know the truth is, and I know the truth. She goes, no, nobody's supporting me. She goes, I said, what is it? Where did you get the support? She goes, how did you know? I go, What? I want $6 million in the lottery. But she said, sometimes I wish I didn't get it because now I don't get up on bed sometimes in the morning, I don't do all the things I used to do before. That's why? It's important to have a why. And your why should be.

Yeah, idly.

That you want to bring the best out of yourself. Why is it that people jump out of an airplane? Because it's out of their comfort zone. Once you get out of your comfort zone, you feel alive, you feel passionate. You want to feel passionate in your life, you need to admit your dreams and aspiration. You need to. It's scary sometimes, like, Hughes, like, okay, I'm gonna have to stop doing this business I'm doing, and I got certain income coming from this, but it's killing me. So once you jump, it's like, whoa. Like, it's. It's exciting. You feel passionate, you feel alive. That. That. Those are the people I'm. I want to work with, people who want to have it all. That's what I'm looking for.

I love that. I love that. Well done. Well, I'm going to wrap this up, and then we're going to say goodbye. So. But I'm going to give you this opportunity because there's one other thing I convinced lease to do, which was.

For the first eight people to respond. Lisa's actually going to give you a free breakthrough session. And Normally she charges $1,000 to do that. So it basically means you're going to be able to sample her work and she will go deep fast. That's one of the things Abby, who I work with, and if you know Abby, she said, I couldn't believe how deep she went, how fast she went. So this is like, it's no bs. She's going to get right past whatever that thing is. And she agreed to do that for eight people. All right, why aren't there ten? Because the first two people already respond. I told them about her already, and they're like, okay, first two gone. So you want to head on over to heartfreedommethod.com and there, at a minimum, you're going to get the masterclass, the transcript, the happy relationship checklist, which passed the Abby test as well, Best friend journal, the heart freedom method meditation, and the demonstration with Vivian. So you're going to see it happen in real time. And with that, I'm going to turn this back to you. Any last words before we wrap this up?

Yes.

If you're listening to this right now, I want you to think about what is it that when you do it brings inspiration in your heart, sometimes bring tears of inspiration. You're in awe, and you feel like this is the cat's meow. This is how I want to live the rest of my life. Challenge yourself in giving it to yourself. And if you need help, make sure you ask yourself for help because that's the best way of getting where you want to go.

Oh, that's nice. Very nice. Okay, so with that, I'm going to wrap this up again. Head on over to heartfreedommethod.com this is capability Amplifier. If you've enjoyed it or you know that there's someone who could benefit from listening to this, watching it, make sure you share that with them right now. And one of the things that Dan Sullivan and I always appreciate is for you, of course, to share this and head over to itunes there. Give us five stars. Leave a comment. It really makes a big difference. Both Dan and I love looking at those comments as well. And Lis and I are gonna say goodbye right now. So say goodbye to Dr. Lise. Janelle, thank you again for listening watching. We'll see you in the next episode of Capability Amplifier. Bye bye bye.

Sa.