Success starts with what you stop tolerating 🧭 | Will Polston

What a lot of people want to do is to feel confident in something that they want to, to do. And I believe that confidence is built, not got. Clarity creates certainty, certainty creates confidence. So if you can get clear on what you could do, no matter how small that thing might be, taking some action will lead to the next action, which will lead to the next action. I kind of think of it as you don't have to see the whole staircase, you just have to take the first step.

This week's Millennial Master is Will Paulston, high-performance coach, strategist, and author of North Star Thinking. At 10, Will made a decision: money meant happiness. Two decades later, with cash in the bank but no real direction, he realized he'd been solving the wrong problem. Since then, He's been on a mission to help others break that same loop, helping over 2,000 entrepreneurs rethink success, build structure around what matters, and move with intent. In this episode, we talk about how chasing money nearly derailed his career, what it really means to build a life around purpose, and the habits and systems that top performers actually use.

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Well, welcome to Millennial Masters. How are you today?

I'm very well, thank you. How are you?

I'm great, thank you, and excited to have you on the podcast. I've been waiting for this for quite a few weeks now, but I'm gonna jump straight into it because I've read that you grew up chasing money believing it was key to happiness. And in a previous podcast, you said you watched your dad struggle while your uncle thrived, and that mindset made you a workaholic from a young age. So I'm wondering, what's the story and what was driving young Will?

Yes, a great question. So I want to start by saying I had a very fortunate childhood. I always had clothes on my back, shoes on my feet, food in the fridge. I was really, really fortunate in that respect. A very loving childhood. But one of the, one of the things that I remember growing up was how much my dad hated his job. So he would get up at 5 o'clock in the morning, get home at 7, 8 o'clock at night. He worked in London. He used to bring the stress and the frustration of work home with him. That's how I would describe it as, uh, as, as remembering it as a, as a youngster. And what was quite apparent is that I've got two very wealthy uncles and What I remember of those was they always seemed to be full of energy, full of enthusiasm. They had nice things. And what happened was my dad quit his job to set up a business with one of my uncles. That never ended up actually happening. And what I perceived was that in that moment at about 10 years old, there was a pattern and the pattern was Uncle Mark, super wealthy, really happy. Uncle Steve, super wealthy, really happy. Dad, when he worked in London, even then he was still happier than he was now where he didn't have a job. He was staying at home all day and what we would describe as experiencing feelings of depression. That was my observation as a young, at a young age. And it was at that moment where I just connected the dots and I went, ah, it's obvious. Money equals happiness. So I went off on a tangent to make as much money as I could as early as I could. I was the kid at school buying and selling sweets and ducking and diving living and doing whatever I could to make a bit of money. And yeah, that went on for some years.

You mentioned that you were a kid at school selling sweets. I think that's a trait in about 5 out of 10 entrepreneurs I've been speaking on Millennial Masters. How did that give you a grounding into business?

It's a good question. I suppose my first experiences of business was it was more about making money than business. And what I mean by that was I would buy something at a certain price and I would sell it at another price. So I would buy some— I remember, um, I would look for things in the paper that were at a price, and then I would go and look on eBay and see what they were selling for on eBay. And if they were selling for more on eBay than I could buy them from, from the paper, then I would do that transaction. So I was more of a trader, you could say, than I was a business person. But what, what I was able to do was spot opportunities of where I could make money for doing something. So even in school, you wasn't allowed to go to the sweet shop. So I thought, well, if I could buy sweets and bring them into school, then I could sell them to people because they couldn't go into the sweet shop. So it was that type of thing. And I can't, I can't honestly say that was where I first got my experience of sales or marketing and, and things like that, but it very much was sales driven for sure. Supply and demand, you could say.

So going back to your home setting and your family, when did you first start questioning the belief that money is key to happiness, do you think?

Well, it was around that moment. I was about 10 years old. So it was when I became aware of what I observed to be the patterns at around 10 years old.

And what would you say are the patterns? I know it's at a very young age. It's Right. You describe them as depression one way or another, but at that age and the early signs don't, don't always look like it, do they?

It was just my observation, I suppose, when at any age we, we create associations with certain things. And for me, there was associations. If you see someone driving a particular car and they're always smiling and happy, then it's very easy to think that there is a correlation between those things. But there's a big difference between correlation and causation. Now, to use an extreme example, there has been a rise in greenhouse gases and what we would call global warming in the last few hundred years. But there has been a decline in pirates going around in pirate ships for the last few hundred years. Now, some people could say, well, it's the pirates. It's that because we don't have pirates anymore driving with their skull and crossbones flags, flying, sailing around the continents, that's the reason that we have global warming because there's a correlation, but a correlation and causation are two very different things. And that was something that I just wasn't aware of at 10 years old. I mean, quite frankly, I didn't really become properly aware of the difference between correlation and causation for about 20 years later.

So when was the moment you made the link?

At around 10 years old. When I was, when I was observing, but the perception of my dad, my dad not leaving the house with no shuttle day, not, not looking after himself in the way that he did, maybe in terms of shaving and things like that. And then that was when I made the link. That was when I created that belief in that moment.

And slightly moving on into your adult life, how did you decide to get into business? What was your journey there?

I I, I grew up this belief that money could happiness, and I started earning lots of money. Um, and I say lots of money, it's relative. Lots of money as a 12 or 13 year old is very different to lots of money as a 30, 40 year old.

Different needs.

Yeah, so different needs. Exactly. My needs back then, well, I was making this money. I mean, I remember, bearing in mind we are literally talking 20 years ago, I remember earning £250, £300 a week as a 14-year-old. When you're 14 years old, 20 years ago, I mean, I don't even know what that works out to be in today's money, but even now, £300, if you've got a 14-year-old earning £300 a week in today's money, that's a lot of money. I can't imagine there's many 13-year-olds doing paper rounds earning £250, £300 a week.

Well, there's no more papers to do the rounds for, but sure.

Yeah, exactly. That's definitely a factor. But, uh, what happened was then I started realizing what I could do with that money. So I believe lots of people, when they first start earning money, it becomes about stuff. And it certainly was for me. So for me, it was stuff in the form of toys. So I would buy petrol scooters and bikes and things that you would imagine lots of young teenage boys might want. Then I started getting into fashion. So I quite like designer fashion. So I would buy designer shoes, designer clothes, and whatnot.

And then.

I realized at quite an early age, probably around 14 or 15 years old, that I wanted to be a multi-millionaire. That was kind of a given. But on top of that, I wanted to do it in something that I enjoyed. So for me, I enjoyed fashion. So I thought, well, that would be obvious. Let's, let's grow, um, let's grow, let's, uh, let, let's own a clothes shop. So I thought it would make sense to get experience working in a local clothes shop. So there was a clothes shop local to me at the time. It was the only clothes shop in the world that sold Gucci, Prada, Dolce Gabbana, and Etro in a, in an independent store that wasn't based in a city in the world. And I started working there as a Saturday boy when I was 15 years old. And then my dream was always, I'm gonna own my own clothes shop. So I was working there, probably I worked there for just coming up to 3, 3 years, which is over 3 years. And then I not just a Saturday boy, but I ended up working full-time there. And then I had another realization where there was somebody in the industry who was renowned in the industry, had opened his own shop and failed. And I looked at his failure and thought, wow, if he can't do it, there's no way I'll be able to do it. So I thought I need to get a different career. Now, I was quite fortunate that the clientele that I serviced in that shop were typically very wealthy multimillionaires, so they had what I wanted. So what in today's day and age I would refer to as modeling. I was modeling them. If we talk in NLPs, in neurolinguistic programming terms, NLP terms, it's a form of modeling. I was seeing what they were doing and wanting to do it for myself. And they basically fitted into 4 categories. They were either professional footballers, property developers, stockbrokers, or drug dealers. And I thought, I just need to be one of them. So the first one I ruled out was being a professional footballer because I'm rubbish at football. The second one I ruled out was being a property developer because I didn't have the money to develop property. The third one I ruled out, to my mother's delight, was being a drug dealer. And then I was left with getting involved with the world of finance. So I ended up getting a job working in investment broking and did that, made a lot of money very young. And that was where I first stumbled across personal development, because what I was doing, again, I was modeling the people that were getting results. I was going in and being in the office and seeing, well, who, who was getting the best results and why. And there was a number of them that were really high achievers. They were really, they were reading these personal personal development books, as we would now refer, or I would now refer to them. And I started reading about those. And the more personal development I did, the more money I earned. So the more personal development I did, the more money I earned. Until one day, a friend of mine said, there's this guy called Tony Robbins coming to London. Do you want to go and see him? And I was like, yeah, sure, I'll go and see Tony. That sounds great. So in 2013, I went to my first Unleash the Power Within event, which is one of Tony's signature programs.. And that was where I had what I call my lightning moment and life changed forever.

That was literally the next question on my list because you mentioned before that that was a turning point in your life and personal development. So listening to Tony Robbins, many people would have heard about him. He's a veteran in the personal development industry. What exactly clicked for you in that moment and what was the key takeaway you took forward from him into your life?

So what he was sharing was what's known as the Thanksgiving story. And you can go on YouTube and search Thanksgiving story Tony Robbins and come up and watch exactly what I watched in that moment 12 years ago. And what, what clicked was that the story was a metaphor of my life. And what I heard was excuses of that Tony's dad made, which is all part of this story, and that I was able to map across to my own story. And then the, the real lightning moment was the moment that I realized my real driver was nothing to do with money. It was never really about money. It was all to do with my dad and how my dad hadn't achieved certain things that he was capable of and the impact that had on him and my mum and me and my family and a whole host of other people. And I vowed I don't want anyone else to go through that suffering that he went through or we went through. And that was the moment. And in that moment, I cried my eyes out for about 15 minutes because I realized It was never about money. It was never ever about money. It was about my dad. And like I said, I didn't want other people to go through that suffering that he went through.

So how did you decide to change your life from that point onwards when you realized it wasn't just about money, but perhaps about purpose and fulfillment?

Yep. So, and this, this is the thing that's interesting about intention, isn't it? We can have the right intention, but sometimes we can allow stuff to get in the way, the stuff in the form of fear and excuses and all of these things. So I did go home and I remember saying to the family and declaring to the family, this is what's going to do. This is what I'm going to do. I'm going to change the world and I want to impact people and I want to make a big difference and I'm going to do this. And I was all excited. I remember that night even registering a company on Companies House and my company at the time—

So you took action straight away.

Straight out the gate.

That's when the money came back.

Straight out the gate. And I, I took the action, and the next day I went into the local bank and I set up a business bank account, and I was absolutely going for this. And then I stopped. And then I said, well, I'll do it when I'm successful. When I'm successful, then I'll start. So I thought, well, okay, well, what I did do, in all fairness, is I did leave London and working as a broker, and I set up a renewable energy business with a business partner, and we grew that business really fast. We went from a standing start to 85 staff within 18 months, growing, growing, growing. Government changed legislation, killed that business overnight.

That was when the feed-in tariff was scrapped, is that right?

Correct. Yeah, exactly. So there was something called the feed-in tariff, which was one of the main reasons why lots of people were getting solar panels on their roofs at that point, which is what we were selling. And yeah, it really made it very difficult to sell product in the way that we'd been selling the product at that time. And I had a real moment of reflection because I also realized when that happened was I was still just chasing the money, Daniel. I was still just chasing the money. And I thought, well, why don't I actually do what I really want to do? Why don't I use this as a sign to start the coaching business? And that was what I was really thinking and feeling in my heart of hearts. That's what I was thinking and feeling. I just didn't know how. And then I ended up going on holiday to sort of, I suppose you could say, deal with the, the, the, the grief of, of what had happened. So taking a bit of a break and recharging. And there's a bit of a longer story version to it, which we, if we've got time, we can go into. But the, the short version of the story was I, I was on holiday, I was reading a book, and in that book— which book? It's called The Hero by Rhonda Byrne. Rhonda Byrne wrote a book called The Secret, which many people know about, but there's a bunch of different books that she wrote. And I went to the, the pool one day. I was reading this book and it spoke about a guy called Mastin Kipp. And Mastin Kipp had a website at the time called The Daily Love. He may still have it, I don't know. And it spoke about in the book how he got retweeted by Kim Kardashian and he went from 1,000 followers to 10,000 followers overnight. And I just started crying, Daniel, because in that moment I realized— is what I refer to as my second lightning moment— is that I realized I don't need to be successful to start. I could literally start by putting quotes on social media every day, and I could be helping someone in some way or another. So I got home from, um, from holiday, and I started posting a quote a day on social media. A week after that, I thought, well, you idiot, some people don't go on social media in the morning. You should post one in the afternoon as well. So I posted one in the morning, one in the afternoon. A week after that, I set up my own website. A week after that, I wrote my first blog. 3 months after that, I had a 10,000-strong social media following, and then we've kind of built on from there.

That was in a way in the early days of social media, what we call now, because some of these tactics don't necessarily work anymore now, but they were the formative days when such wonders could happen and you could post an inspirational quote today and grow your audience.

Right?

Yes and no. So on Instagram, posting a quote a day on social media and building an audience. Yeah, sure. Rather than thinking tactically, I'd rather get people to think of the principle. And the principle is know where you want to go, reverse engineer it, start small, no matter how small, because the door, the doors will reveal themselves in terms of what can be done. So it's not about the tactic of if someone wants to grow an audience right now, they should be posting on social media. You're right. That was 10 years ago that that started. What you absolutely could do in today's day and age though, is you could decide that you want to do something and start putting out a video on TikTok every day. I mean, there are no doubt people that they have put a video out on TikTok within 3 months and it blown up and built up a huge following. So the tactic might change. It might be TikTok. It might be posting a quote on social media. It might be starting a podcast and running your first podcast. And you just happen to tap into something that means that it blows up. The key though. Is take action regardless of how small that it is.

So would you say that you wanted to make it before you were a consultant, but then you realized that you must go over what we would now call imposter syndrome and start small, start from the beginning and grow it from there?

I think that what a lot of people want to do is to feel confident in something that they want to do. And I believe that confidence is built, not got. Clarity creates certainty. Certainty creates confidence. So if you can get clear on what you could do, no matter how small that thing might be, taking some action will lead to the next action, which will lead to the next action. I kind of think of it as, I mean, there's a famous Martin Luther quote, isn't there? You don't have to see the whole staircase. You just have to take the first step. Step is very similar. If you're walking at night and you've got a torch, you don't need to see the whole way lit up. I mean, you could literally drive from the East Coast to the West Coast of, of America, however many thousand miles that is, through the night by just being able to see a few feet in front of you by having headlights in your car. So it's, it's never about being able to necessarily see the whole way. It's being able to know where you want to get to. And be able to— yeah, sure, strategy helps. Yes, sure, having key milestones helps. Of course it does. Directionally, I refer to it as having a North Star trajectory. But for a lot of people, the very thing that they want, by doing nothing, they're only getting further away from where they want to be. By doing something, they're getting closer. And a lot of people will say, well, I don't know if I'm gonna make the right decision. Well, make the right decision in the moment, and if it's the wrong decision, then make that decision right. You can always course correct.

Okay, so you came back pumped from the Tony Robbins event, you registered your business, you opened the bank account, and you started posting through a strategy inspirational quotes on social media.

18 months after the bank account was opened though, right? So just to put some time frame later. Yeah, exactly. And that's my point is that, so I said when I'm successful, then I'll start. 18 months later, we set up another business that failed. That was me really making an excuse for the thing that I really wanted to do. And it was only when the business failed that then I actually started doing what it was that I really wanted to be doing.

And how did it feel then to start doing what you really wanted to do?

I was excited. I was nervous. I was unsure about what was going to happen. And there's a lot of stuff that I've learned since. I think what What is evident now, but wasn't necessarily then, was that I was finding my way through it. I didn't really think about having mentors and coaches and people to support you, to get you through the challenging times, to create the certainty in the uncertainty. But what it, what it was, it, the only way I could describe it was it felt right. It felt right.

So your Your entire philosophy with your business coaching, from my research, and feel free to correct me if I'm wrong, revolves around having a North Star, an ultimate lofty goal, which you might not reach anytime soon, but you certainly have to be on the journey for it. What was your North Star?

So my, my North Star is to empower people to transform excuses into results and live a life they love. So I refer a North Star as a mission in life, that's the equivalent of trying to empty the sea with a spoon. It's something you accept you may never achieve. You're exactly right. And by having that North Star, what it enables you to do is make decisions that are going to enable you to be more fulfilled. It enables you to make decisions that can help you live longer. It can make decisions that enable you to overcome challenges with more grace and harmony as you work towards them. So there's an awful lot of upsides of being able to have them. Now, just to clarify, one, one key bit is it's not just about business coaching. Yes, I work with a a lot of business owners, but it's not just, it's not just something that applies to businesses. It's something that applies to, it can apply to anybody in their life that wants to ultimately have more of a life that they love.

And you've already worked with over 2,000 entrepreneurs through your business so far. What would you say is the biggest challenge they struggle with, or What's really the real problem underneath it all?

It's a great question. There's, I wouldn't necessarily say there's one common problem. I would say the three most common problems. So to, to go for Daniel Ionescu, if I can expand that out to three, is that if people are not living a life that they love, it will almost always boil down to one of three reasons. They have lack of clarity. Of what it is that they— of where they are, what they want to be doing, and what they really want to be achieving in their lives. They don't have clarity. It will be that they do have clarity, but they're taking ineffective action. So the action they're taking is not congruent, it's not aligned with where they really want to be going and what they want to be doing. Or if they do have clarity and they do know what actions to take, they lack accountability to hold their feet to the fire to ensure that they're actually doing the things that they really, really want to be doing. So those for me in And most of the people that I've worked with over the years, I mean, we can come up with all the different flavors of negative emotions that they've experienced, but typically they boil down to they're either feeling lost, they're feeling frustrated, or they are feeling overwhelmed. Generally speaking, it's lost, frustrated, overwhelmed. They're, they're the three main, the main issues that people are having. And it boils down to lack of clarity, lack of action or intelligent action. And active accountability.

You said if you're feeling lost, or if you're not feeling confident, or you feel you don't have a mission, that's the point where you need to start looking for a North Star and what's really motivating you. But what are the signs for that? Some people don't realize that in, like you said yourself, in the eternal chase for more money, validation, and possibly happiness that could be drawn from that?

Okay, great. Yeah, great question. In short, negative emotions. So any negative emotion is simply a signal. That's it. It's a signal for us to think or act differently. That's it. What takes a little bit of skill is to understand what action or what thinking needs to be done in order to get the outcomes that one wants. So yeah, the, the, the, the, what it really boils down to is if, if you're waking up every day and feeling negative emotions, any flavor of negative emotion, when I mean negative flavor of negative emotion, I mean, it could be stress, it could be anxiety, it could be overwhelm, it could be panic, it could be feelings of depression, like you, you name it, any spectrum of anything on the spectrum of negative emotions that one would deem to be a negative emotion. If you are experiencing that consistently on a chronic, on a chronic basis, it's not just over the last 10 minutes you've been feeling negative, albeit even there, there's potentially something to underline. If you're experiencing that chronically, then it's an indication that something ultimately needs to change.

What would you say is the most powerful question an entrepreneur can ask themselves then when, when they feel stuck? What's, what's the question that will push the button or move the needle, you think, am I willing to continue tolerating this?

And if you're not, then you need to think or act differently because you get what you tolerate. And most people will tolerate for way longer than they need to tolerate what other people do, tolerate what they're doing themselves. There's the, uh, the, the, the adage of, um, if you put a frog in water and you boil that water slowly the frog will boil itself to death. Whereas if you just put a frog in boiling water, it jumps and it jumps out. And so many of us, we are the frog in the boiling water. We're allowing things to get worse and worse and worse until we decide to do something differently. There's another great metaphor which I love, which is the feather, the brick, and the bus. And in life, we get tickled with the feather, which is our first little indication that we should start doing something differently. Then if we ignore the feather, we get the brick. Someone trying to throw a brick in our face. If we manage to dodge the brick, then we get the bus and the feather, the brick and the bus. And most people, the only reason they're getting the brick or the bus is if they're getting the bus is because they ignored the brick and the feather.

And is it too late by the time you're hit by a bus?

No, but it can mean that you spend a lot longer in hospital recovering to be able to get back on your feet and be able to do what needs to be done.

So it's a great analogy then. So you take longer to heal and to get back on your feet. If you ignore the warning signs before being hit by the bus and the big problem.

Yeah.

And in business, that can come in the form of, I mean, I was literally with somebody yesterday who had a heart attack because he ignored the signs to turn off.

That's the bus, right?

That's the bus. Yeah. That was the bus. I mean, he didn't have the heart attack yesterday. He had the heart attack.

No, no, no.

I mean, like in terms of the spectrum of—

Correct. Yeah.

Yeah. —of the brake and bus. Exactly that.

Exactly that.

And what would you say that is the biggest myth about success that you see holding back people?

What's the biggest myth that I see about success? That it's a destination. Success is subjective. Success is different for everybody else. I'm a big fan of Al Nightingale. He died in, I think it was 1989, but he wrote, well, he originally recorded an amazing audio called The Strangest Secret, and he talks about in The Strangest Secret that success is the pursuit of all— of a worthy ideal. And I think that— and that for me is where it links in with the North Star, is that if you've got something that every day you're working towards, accepting you may never achieve it, and you're on that journey, then I think that gives you the ability to achieve your own success. And for me, success is really about fulfillment, because if you create success as the thing So that's what I mean by the outcome. So if something— well, when I've made enough money, then I'll be successful. When I've got the house, then I'll be successful. When I've got the partner, then I'll be successful. When I've got the kids, then I'll be successful. They fall into this trap. I call it when-men syndrome, where it's constantly this next thing. And anyone that I've ever worked with, no matter what it is, where they want the car, then they want the house, and they want the holiday home, and they want the, the luxury holiday, then they want the two holidays a year. There's always something else.

But the moment you always want more, when you reach a certain point, there's always going to be something else.

There's always something else, and there's nothing wrong with that. Don't get me— and what I mean by that is nothing wrong with that. There is something wrong with that if that's the philosophy. There's nothing wrong with wanting other things. I want other things. I've got goals of owning my own plane. I've got goals of going to space. I've got all sorts of crazy stuff that I want to do.

Living till you're 150 years old, correct? But I'll ask you about— we'll come back to that in a second. Yeah, living to 150 years old, there's all of I do all of these things.

The difference is they are the byproduct of the North Star that I'm living every day. They are not the outcome of what I'm doing every day.

You mentioned about being unfulfilled. Mm-hmm. And at the same time, I know you're building multiple businesses and also optimizing for freedom, which I think is one of the key topics in the discussion about fulfillment. So my question for you, Will, is how do you design your life to avoid the trap of being busy but unfulfilled?

Great question. Structure creates efficiency, and by having structure, you can be more efficient. I remember 10 years ago or so, I was working with a particular business coach and we were talking about the concept of putting structure in my diary. And I remember having this mini tantrum over the fact that I did not want to put structure in my diary because it was one of the reasons is why I wanted to run my own businesses. I didn't want to have to be there for somebody else and have to attend certain things. It reminds me of school. And in school, we had a timetable and we had to attend maths at a certain time and then science at a certain time, then English, then so on and so forth, right? But what he explained to me, and well, he very, he was very articulate in the way that he did this. He was very smart in the way he said, well, I understand. He said, but who gets to choose what goes in the diary? And I sat and I thought about it and I was like, yeah, me. He went, so who's got the freedom of choice? And I went, yeah, me. And it just clicked. That was a penny drop moment. Because in that moment, I realized that yes, I do need to have structure or I'm wise to have structure, but it's structure that I choose rather than structure that's dictated to me. And that's the difference. So how do you, how do you create a life with fulfillment? It does come down to discipline, right? If you, if you say, well, I want to be healthy. Great. You want to be healthy, you want to be fit and healthy. But if you don't put in the structure of exercising well and maintaining a good diet and think, well, just because I want to have a lion today, I'm going to have a lion. Just because I want to have the donuts, I'm going to have the donuts. Just because I want to have the ice cream, I want to have the ice cream. Yes, in that fleeting moment, we might want that, but what do we really want? And that's where the structure comes into place.

So you rejected structure at school, but you understood later on that it's crucial to a fulfilling life, as long as you get to choose that structure. Yes. For your podcast, you're over 100 episodes in right now, if I'm correct, and you've interviewed peak performance experts from across the world. What are your learnings in terms of the most underrated habits of performers? And are there any of them that you built into your life as well?

Peak performance is a subtraction game. So linking back to what we just said a moment ago, is the structure is important. Absolutely. What makes structure— and structure and discipline, right? But it's far easier to be disciplined with something that you love doing. So if you don't fill your day with high-value activities, your day gets filled with low-value distractions. What's a high-value activity? Something that you love doing, something that you can be renewed enumerated wealth or something that fills you up, fires you up, and you enjoy, you're inspired to want to do. So when it comes back to the, the habits of high performers, peak performers, is that they fill their day with stuff that they love doing, that's aligned with their, what I would call, North Star. They are willing to remove anything that gets in the way of that. So that's why I— that there's an equation which I love: your peak performance is equal to your potential minus less distractions. So what are all the distractions? The internal distractions, the ones in between areas in our mind, and other external distractions that enable us to stay laser focused on the, the task at hand or the goal at hand. And people that are willing to remove that— so I, I said a moment ago about you get what you tolerate. When people stop and reflect and go, right, is this— that does the version 2.0 of me really need to be doing these things or saying these things or being with these people And if the answer's no, then they're willing to subtract it from their life.

So it's not about how you think as well, but also the people you surround yourself with. Is, is that what you're saying?

I think environment's a huge component, a huge component. So I, I think that if you think differently, you act differently. If you act differently, you get different results. For me, the people you surround yourself with is part of that action. My, my motor function, who, when I'm spending, if I'm choosing to to spend time with someone, that's a form of action. It's not just a form of thinking. And am I choosing to spend time with the guys down the pub every night, or am I choosing to spend my time, um, in seminars or in, in workshops learning to upskill myself? I mean, that's just a— I'm choosing those two as contextual examples.

I'm not saying extreme example, but yeah.

And I think it was Jim Rohn who originally said you're the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with. And in my experience I've seen that to be true.

So how do you quit certain relationships and move on to surrounding yourself with people in a mindset that helps you grow?

It's again, a really good question and something I get a lot. And I think the biggest part that people struggle with is quitting. And that in itself is something that can be challenged. So to dance around this a little bit, A friend of mine has a very successful business that helps people all over the world change their relationship with alcohol. Now, up until then, there'd been two schools of thought. You're either a drinker or you're a non-drinker, and that was kind of it. You're either teetotal or you don't drink at all. Yeah, you're in between either hardcore or teetotal. Exactly. And then he introduced, and he created a business called One Year No Beer, and that business helped people change their relationship with alcohol because for one year year, people could choose to not drink alcohol. That wasn't saying they were never going to drink again. That wasn't saying, that's it, I'm going teetotal. That wasn't them going to AA meetings. It was them just saying, I'm having a year off. And I think of it the same with certain friends, where you have some people say, right, you need to ditch your friends, you need to get new friends, never see those people, change people around. I don't think of it as you need to completely stop. I think of it as a dilution. So yes, I may still choose to see those friends, but I'm going to see the people that are more likely to help me achieve the outcomes that I want more. And I start changing. So, so that's where the dilution comes in. So I'm still seeing them, I'm just seeing them much less.

So how do you get in a new circle then? What, what's your experience and your advice for people stuck?

Um, when I think of peer groups, I think of what I call the ultimate peer group, and there's 3 components to it. So there's people that are a few steps ahead of you, which we would call mentors in this instance, and these mentors are people that have achieved what it is that you want to achieve in, in an area of life. Then you have peers, people that are about your level doing what you want to do. And then you have people that are a few steps behind you that you have the ability to help further down the line. Now, when you first start out, you might be on the first rung of the ladder and you may not be able to help anybody necessarily a few steps behind you, and that's okay. So you'd be looking at, depending on what it is that you want to do, finding where the people that are a step or two ahead of you are hanging out and what it is that they're doing. So if it was in business, for example, then you might choose to join an accelerator, you might choose to go to a local network, networking event. If you wanted to get better at running, you might join a running club. So you go to where these people already are rather than try and get them to come to you. So if you want to get better at running, right, hey, everyone that's interested in running, I want to start a running club. Well, Well, yes, you could do that, but if you don't know many people, then you might be running on your own for a long time. Whereas if you can go to where those people already are, there's tools, there's some incredible tools these days. Um, albeit I haven't used it for a long time, but there's websites like meetup.com where you can join meetup.com, you can put all of your interests in, and it will literally tell you groups that exist happening in your local area, all around the world, on all manner of different things. I mean, The level of niche groups that exist these days that you could go to, it's like a Google away in most instances. Earlier this year, I decided that I wanted to get better at chess. So the first thing I thought, well, if I'm going to get better at chess, what I want to do is get around more chess players. So I just did a loop, simple Google search to find out that at 7 PM on a Monday evening, 5 miles from my house, there's a chess club. Well, great. I found more people. So if I can now get in and amongst those people playing chess, I'm more likely likely to learn quicker. And in my experience, most places and people are always keen to want to help newbies get into what it is that they're doing. So if you're a running club, they want new runners. If you're a chess club, they want new chess players. If you are joining a car club, they want new people that have got an interest in cars. There's, there's a whole manner of different things, but, um, it could be as simple as doing a Google search.

So people actually want to help others who are one or two levels on the steps behind them. It's not like really trying to hold people back, but they actually feel in a way flattered and/or honoured to share that knowledge. Is that your conclusion as well? That's my experience. Speaking of passions, you said that the new one for you was chess relatively recently. But I heard you speak on another podcast about having a serious passion for hockey, and even wanting to acquire and develop a team. Is that still the case? And if so, what's the vision behind that?

Yeah, so I played ice hockey for 23 years, and I played for a local team for all 23 years. And one of the things that I would love to see is that particular team go on to do great things in the world of ice hockey here in the UK. And I would love to take all of the profits of the club and reinvest it into the junior academy. And I would love— one of my, my longer-term visions would be to win what's known as the Elite League playoffs here in the UK, which is like the equivalent of winning the Champions League in football, and do it with more homegrown players than any other club in the country. Because when I was a kid growing up playing ice hockey, there wasn't those opportunities if you really wanted to be able to make it as a hockey player. And I would love to be able to have that as a bit of a passion project, to be able to give, to give to the future generations of the club that I played for, for so many years.

And you briefly mentioned as well that another item on your big north star was living up until 150 years old. Besides advancements in technology, which let's just say they're moving at quite a pace right now. What's your blueprint for that?

So one of the big big things that I have sort of really bought into, or not just bought into, but realized as well firsthand is that the power of having a North Star gives people a reason to live. So in Japan, they have a concept called an ikigai, which means a reason for being. And what's really interesting—

It's a section of 4 things, if we can briefly explain that for those who are not familiar. Yeah.

So, so to give you a bit of background. So to take one step back, there, there's already what we call blue zones around the world. And these blue zones are areas where people have lived, typically live to over 100 years old, or there's a higher popu— highly dense. There's a dense population of people that live to over 100 years old, and we refer to them as blue zones. And there's a few common things. So diet's a factor, movement's a factor, and their, their community around them is a factor. But one of the things that's fascinating about one of the blue zones, which is in a tiny, on a tiny little island called Okinawa, just off Japan, is that they all live by this ikigai concept. And I believe out of all the blue zones, that ikigai actually has the highest population of centurions. And they live by this ikigai concept, which means a reason for being. And we don't have a direct translation for it in English, and, but, but essentially what, what it's a, a component of is these four, four different things that meet in the middle. So the four things are questions that you could answer. What do you love? Love? What are you good at? What does the world need? And what can you be paid for? And it's the cross-center of those four that is what one would deem an ikigai. And an ikigai for me is the same as a North Star. It's what you're good at, what you can be paid for, what the world needs, what, um, and what you love doing. And North Star is the same thing. What's the thing you're willing to do over and over and over again? No, because you know that it's not going to end.

And it's, it's exactly that. I want to go back briefly, Will, uh, to that Tony Robbins moment back in 2017, if I'm correct?

2013. 2013.

You previously said that you, 6 months before that, you dreamed that that was going to happen. So is there any correlation between manifesting and action and visualizing? Is that an actual thing? Can you make things happen just by Am I believing them if I would be scientifically cynical?

Um, what you're referring to is not the original Tony Robbins moment, but you're talking about the time that I met Tony for the first time. So, okay. So I, yeah, it was in February 2017 and I remember it vividly because it was a Friday and I'd had this dream, one of, and I don't normally dream, or at least apparently we all dream every night, but I don't remember what I dreamed.

But we don't remember it. We forget about it.

And I had this super, super, super vivid dream that I met Tony Robbins in a hotel, sat there talking with him. I say sat there talking with him, him looking down on me, talking to me. And I had this visualization and I actually had to tell a client of mine that I had a call with at 10 o'clock. I said, I've gotta tell you this because if this ever happens, nobody's ever gonna believe me. So I'm telling you now. Anyway, 3 months, 6 months later, you're exactly right. I, I, I, I was at an event and was chatting. With, with Tony. So in answer to your question, manifestation, um, and, and, and that whole side of things, I think there is huge, huge power, huge power in visualization. Can I explain the full details of all of the science behind it? No, I can't. But do I believe that if you are super, super, super crystal clear and you visualize, you use the theater of your mind as what Dr. Maxwell Maltz Maltz talks about it, that you have the ability to bring in a reality or experience a reality to manifest it. As, as you said, I have done so on dozens and dozens and dozens of occasions. Am I the person that thinks that you need to just visualize something and sit in a room and just cross your fingers and hope it's going to happen? No. I talk about intelligent action, doing things that are aligned with your values and being able to work through that, that is something that I absolutely do advocate for. But do I believe you're far more likely to create the reality that you want if you visualize it consciously, you make a conscious effort to visualize it?

Without a doubt. I guess this is where I was trying to get to. There's no manifesting without action. Otherwise, it's just hoping.

I'm often been very mindful of using, um, extremes. So what I mean by extremes is always or never. Um, there's studies that have been done. There's the Dr. Basiato study of basketball players where he got 3 different groups of basketball players. One practiced every day for 30 days, another practiced only using visualization, and some didn't practice at all. Now, in that instance, the one that visualized— sorry, the one that, the one that threw hoops every day, like free throws every day, they improved by 24%. Those that didn't practice at all didn't improve, as you would expect, but those that just visualized improved by 23%. So in that instance, was there an improvement without taking any action? Well, the scientific studies say so. So it's, it's, it's, it's a, it's a challenge. But one thing that I do believe is that you're far— if we talk about the difference between possibility and probability. Is there a possibility that if you just visualize it, you could create a result? Sure. But there's a big difference between possibility and probability. Are you going to stack the odds in your favor by focusing on taking the action as well as the doing the other components that sit around that? I think that's really what we want to be doing. How can we give ourselves the best probability of being able to achieve the outcomes that we want?

And if we would have to hit the nail then on how do you get the best probability in achieving the things that you visualize, then what would be the key things you'd say?

Well, how do we get the best probability of achieving the desired outcomes is a combination of all of it. Doing visualization, doing the mindset work, taking action, having accountability, it's all of those things wrapped up together.

Now, Well, you have your fingers in a lot of pies from everything that I've read about you. Coaching, private equity, working with dozens of entrepreneurs, running your podcast. You wrote a book, which I'll make sure I'll include in the show notes as well. But that must take a toll. So I'm just wondering, what are your habits that are keeping you focused and productive while doing all of this?

So in no particular order is if you don't know where you're going, distractions look like opportunities. So I'm clear on where I'm going. I've got a clear North Star trajectory. I know what I want to be working on every day. I fill my day with high-value activities. So I look at the things that I can move the needle on. I literally have a t-shirt that hangs up in my office over here that says, it needs to be done, but I don't need to do it as a reminder of of to delegate, essentially. So there are a few things that I do. While we're at it, how do you delegate?

What's— and what do you delegate? Just to give people an insight, you have an executive assistant who helps with handling your emails. Yep.

She does a lot more than that, but yeah, she does help with that. What do I delegate? The better way to put it is, what do I do? Because then we can talk about all the other things, because rather than me give you the long list— and this is to answer to your question, they fold in together. So I, I aim to spend a minimum of 90% of my working week coaching, creating— in a work capacity— coaching, creating content, building relationships, speaking, or doing high-value, um, strategy activities. Now, anything else you can think of, I don't want to do, whether that's replying to emails, whether that's, um, organizing insurance or whatever else it might be. So that, that That's so— if I, if I, if I know I'm spending at least 90% of my week— because I'm a realist, I've, I've yet got to the point where there are the things I do 100% of the time, but I'm constantly trying to make sure that I'm spending an ever-growing amount of time just doing the things that I want to be doing. So what are the things that I believe that by me doing those things, they're going to give me the most fulfillment, like have the greatest impact, could be most fruitful, etc., etc., and just focus my attention on those So, which ties into how do I delegate? So for me, how do I delegate is I delegate the outcome, not the activity. So rather than giving them the task, this is what I want you to do. This is the outcome I want you to own. This is how I would maybe suggest that you would do it, but I'm open to doing it other ways if there's other ways of you doing it. And I'm super clear, or I attempt to be super clear on what I want the outcome to be and what success looks like. And what I mean by that is what are the components of success? So typically it's the actual outcome, how well it's done, it's the speed in which it's it's done, and it's the money that's involved to be able to achieve it. So if I can be clear on what's— what does— what does good look like, or what does great look like, what's the time frame that I want it done within, and, and how much resource in the term of— in this form of money am I willing to allow someone to spend to get the outcome, then I can be clear on those things and they can just crack on and do it within those parameters.

And how do you disconnect from being always on deep down in your work, even if you just do the high-level things that are pushing the needle.

Boundaries is one of the— putting in boundaries.

That's a hard one, isn't it? Well, it can be.

Boundaries, but with discipline. I mean, these things, mobile phones, they can be an issue. So trying to have— not trying to, but having discipline with mobile phones, having agreements around around what gets spoken about and when certain things can be done in terms of communication. So there's factors there. Yeah, there's a number of things.

Going back to 10-year-old Will, who started realizing that there's certain links between things, but with your mind and knowledge and learning Now, if you could write a letter to your younger self way before that Tony Robbins event, what advice would you give?

If I was just trying to be, if I was trying to be philosophical about it rather than just state the obvious, because obviously now I've got the crystal ball and I know 25 years later what situations actually are. But if I could give some more philosophical advice, it would be things aren't always what they be willing to challenge your beliefs, seek out great mentors, and understand that what you know isn't all knowledge.

What do you mean by that when you say what you know isn't all knowledge?

So I share a concept in my book about the concept of all possible knowledge. So there's 3 categories. So the first type of knowledge is information that you know that you know. So you know you have an understanding of it, an awareness of it and what can be done. Then there's information that you know that you don't know. I know that I don't know how to speak Russian, but I know that I do know how to speak English. So there's information I know that I know, and there's information that I know that I don't know. Then there's information you don't know that you don't know, information you are completely unconscious of, you're unaware of. And the more the more you invest into education, you can make the unconscious become conscious. And then you might know that you don't know about it. But then over time, you can go from not knowing that you, from knowing what you, from knowing information that you have an understanding that you don't know about it to then actually understanding it, i.e., learning Russian. Let's just use that as the example. If over time, right now I know that I don't know how to I don't know how to do it, but I can invest time, energy, and effort into knowing it. I knew that I didn't know how to play chess, and I knew I didn't know how to play chess because I had reference, because when I play with other people, I'd get beat all the time. But then I can invest time and energy into knowledge to know it. Ah, so that's why I kept getting beat. Ah, so I was making that mistake. But when I did this, I should have done that. Now I get it. And that's the difference.

You mentioned books and knowledge and a good point to taper off our discussion is what books, especially in business, but outside of business as well, have shaped the will today. And what would you recommend for founders, entrepreneurs, leaders, or anybody looking for direction should read as essential reading?

I get asked this question question every week, multiple times a week. Well, what should— what book can you recommend? And the answer I always say to people is that the best book for you depends on your situation right now. So I actually created a resource which, if you're open to this, Daniel, I can send you the link and then we can put it in the show notes so anyone can access it. And it's my top— that for sure, it's my top recommended books. There's my 60 all-time top books, and then there's about another 250 books that I've personally read or listened to, broken down by category. So if someone today is listening to this thing, and I know I need to really work on my leadership, then there's recommended on leadership. There's on law of attraction. We were talking a bit about law of attraction and manifesting. There's a whole section on law of attraction. If people want to be better at communicating, there's a whole section on book communication, and so on and so forth. So people can access that on my website if they just went to willpoulston.com/blog, they can access it. But I'll actually send you the, the specific article link in the show notes. Yeah, and then people can access it.

Yeah. And just as a final curveball, I haven't asked anybody this, but I thought I should ask you, Will, because, you know, you're a fountain of knowledge. Is there anything that I haven't asked you that I should have, and people should know about you and what you do?

I would say the question that, um, you could have asked me is that, well, how do you create your North Star? And a lot of people, they spend their life wanting to sort of find their purpose, and I don't believe you find your purpose. I believe you create it, and you create it by getting clear on your North Star. There's 5 different ways to create your North Star. We touched on one of the ways, which which is by answering the ikigai questions. They're the 4 different questions. That's one of the ways of doing it. There's 4 other ways, and I share them all in my book if people want to do more of a deep dive on what they are.

And that's going to be on the reading list as well. Thank you so much, Will, for sharing some of your journey and your wisdom and learnings so far on Millennial Masters. And I'm looking forward to see what you're gonna do next. Thank you very much.

Appreciate you having me.

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