182: Public Speaking Tips No One Ever Tells You

Last week, I took to the stage to speak at a conference. The lights, the people, the clapping with the walk on music. It's also exciting, but in my head, all I was thinking was, ah, crap. Welcome to the Indestructible PR podcast, where we use current events and tested media and PR strategies to help prevent or manage a crisis and build an indestruct reputation. And there is no quicker way to have impact to your reputation than standing on stage in front of a room of people staring at you, listening to your every word. That is, if they're not on the phone. So in this episode, I want to share with you some of the takeaways in public speaking. But these are the tips that no one tells you about. Hey, there. As I mentioned, last week I was speaking at an event in Austin, Texas. It was with an industry where I do a lot of work, I know a lot of people. I feel very comfortable in that space. I know the organizer very well. I do a lot of work with him, and everything was great about the entire event. I did a couple trainings over the weekend, and then I was speaking on the big stage on Monday. But after the talk, as I was walking down the steps after the presentation, I thought, hey, I just wrote my next podcast episode. So in this episode, I want to share some of the tips that came to me during this process. And they're the tips that people don't really hear about. You're not going to come across these in blog articles or hear them in interviews or in books on how to be a public speaker. These are the tips from firsthand experience, and these are within 24 hours. So they're top of mind. All right, so right off the bat, let's start here. Number one, don't let the tech people run your show. Those are the people who are sitting in the back of the room. They're producing the keynote events at the conference. They run the board, the lights, and the screen behind the speakers. Now, don't get me wrong, they are your friend. They're hardworking. They're very, very good at their job. If they're sitting on those risers in the back of the room, they've earned the spot. So treat them as such, because they are there. Make you look good. Because if you look good, then they look good to the event organizers, which means they'll get more business in the future. They know how to make your material look good as well, and they know everything about stagecraft. You want to listen to them, you want to listen to their advice, but don't let them run your presentation. Now, in my case, I just had a handful of slides. There was maybe 10 slides. I had words on there. Two were just quick videos that I was speaking to with another presenter there. And we were just mentioning the slides as they came up. There are more placeholders and more there to just guide you through or guide us through the discussion. But one of the slides did have bullets. It had seven bullets for my seven pillars of indestructibility. Those were the pillars that I listed in my book. And we did spend some time talking about those pillars. But during the rehearsal, the tech guy said, well, we don't like to keep bullet pages up there for too long, so we'll show it, we'll let it go. And when he first said that, I understood it because it's true. No one wants to look at busy slides. No one wants to look at bullets on slides. No one wants a lot of information. They just want to look at an image image or something that guides them to the general idea and also guides their eyes back to you. You don't want to compete, in other words, with your slides. However, this slide was an important slide because we were listing all of the points and I only knew the problem after the presentation had finished because we needed to do a breakout session. As soon as the session was finished and person after person after person came up to me and asked me those seven pillars. And they all said the same thing. It was only up there for a second. So not letting the tech people run your show, it should have been my job. I should have taken a breath during rehearsal and said, wait a minute. We want people to focus on these seven things because these points are the big takeaway for the talk. So I should have made that call and I didn't. I let him run the show. So during the rehearsal, that was on me. So when you're in rehearsal and you're doing your run through, make sure that you have the final say. That leads me into my next point, which is rehearsal. Make sure that you do one. Most real deal conferences will have a run through, so you want to be prepared fully with your talk. If you have a deck, you are handing your deck over and that deck is perfect. You should also have a backup deck with you. Sometimes in the transfer, they could lose fonts. Perhaps video didn't make its way onto the deck. And you're going to have to make those last minute adjustments. If you have a flash drive that you can put into your computer that you can hand over to them or you May just put it in a Dropbox, but make sure that you have that backup deck on you, either in a computer or in your phone that you can transfer over. Then they'll run you through it in real time. And when you're doing this rehearsal, that's when you learn your cues. That's when you learn how long it takes to walk up the stage to get to your place. You know how long the walk on music's going to be. You know what the walk on music's going to be. In the rehearsal, there was an admiral who was speaking, and she had said they had played. The music that they chose was Anchors Away. She was a Navy admiral, went to the U.S. naval Academy. And she said as soon as she heard it, you could see her visibly react, because anyone with a military connection knows you would have to stand at attention when you hear your service branch music being played. And she said, no, no, no, no. I mean, she stopped that music immediately because she did not want to disrespect it. And it would have led to an incredibly awkward moment where she would have had to stand at attention while that music played and it would have cut off. So it would have been massively awkward. So it was important that that rehearsal was there. They switched out the music and they found perf her when the real show happened. Going through that rehearsal, you standing on stage, you're going to get your view of the room, you're going to see where you're going to talk, and you're going to get accustomed to looking out into that audience. You're also going to see the presentation screen below your feet. That's the monitor. And you can tell your tech team, do you want a presenter view or do you just want a slide ahead? You can do your pacing, get familiar walking on the stage. Also get your nerves out. What I found on the stage, if you stood in one part of it, it squeaked. At first I heard that and I thought, is this me? Am I too heavy for this portion of the stage? But I learned if you stood on the circles where they had the stands, it didn't make as much noise. But incredibly squeaky stage it also, you're teaching everyone, your organizers, also the crew, that you've got it. You're like doing your own pr that you have it handled so they're not stressed and they have peace of mind knowing that that piece is all taken care of. So at the end of that rehearsal, everyone on that team is going to make your presentation look amazing. So take their advice, take their tech Their timing, all their advice, unless you have your own and you'll knock your presentation out of the park. All right, number three, I mentioned the monitor on the ground. Most monitors, if you've ever spoken before or you'll see it, they'll be at the feet of the presenters. It will be off stage and low. Now, the nice thing, if you're a presenter, the good ones, they'll just glance and see what's there. That's why you don't want to have bullets or anything that you have to read. You don't want to have script either. Because what happens if your reading remarks from the monitor, you're going to be looking down for most of your speech. You cannot help yourself. Even if you know that speech cold, if that speech is playing out in front of you, your eyes are going to be drawn to it like moss to a flame, and you're going to be looking at it. That's why you want to prepare your remarks. If you are giving remarks, that is a speech, then there should be a teleprompter for you. Like, there could be at a podium and you're reading from a teleprompter, one of those clear screens that they have now. But if you're just giving a presentation with a deck, this is why you want to have just imagery and maybe a video. You know, it's pacing for you and it's just a reminder of where you are. And then it's a reminder to your audience to let them know this is what we're talking about. It's just like a. It's like a guidebook. It's not the book, it's just the table of contents, you know, if you will. So it moves it along. There's also going to be a timer at the bottom and you'll be able to time precisely where your speech is. For me, when I plan these talks, I always plan them in thirds. A beginning, middle and end. All right, next, the other tip has to do with the deck. If it's a presentation, speaking on stage or a breakout session, or any type of presentation that I'm doing, or any training that I'm doing, I always have one slide or one part of my remarks or presentation that I call my buffer slide or my buffer content. And this is content that I can truncate into 30 seconds, or I can expand it into a half hour if I have to. And I usually have those either. You know, if I'm doing a workshop, I do that at the end. End of a morning session. So if I'M running behind, then I can just go through it and no one's going to miss anything. Or if I'm running ahead, I can spend some time on it. I could do some Q and A. Same thing with the talk. Have that buffer slide that will allow you to wrap up quickly if you're going over. Or you can extend it. In the case of my seven indestructible pillars, that was my buffer slide. I had seven pillars in there. Could have run through those pillars quickly. I could highlight it just one, the most important one, and it worked out perfectly. This presentation was timed to the second when I said the words, and you will be indestructible. I had one second left on the clock. All right, next, don't make your wardrobe a part of your talk. And I mean this in two ways. One, you want to wear clothes that flatter you. You don't want to distract by having clothes that people are focused more on your wardrobe and your ill fitting wardrobe rather than you and what you're saying. Keep in mind with presentations, my rule of thumb is you always want to up level your wardrobe. Find out like what most people are wearing at this conference. I mean, usually it's just, you know, casual business attire. Nowadays, if you can up level it by one, you know, most guys, they're still going to wear the blue jacket with the khakis or dark khakis or navy khakis. Maybe you want to bring a tie. That's how you can up level it. Or if you're just going to go with the blue navy jacket with a shirt underneath, Maybe your pants instead of being khaki, you know, maybe they are like a darker olive or a gray. You know, you just want to look a little bit better. Same thing for women. It's a lot easier for women to judge up their wardrobe. For me, I was definitely wearing, I'd even call it a costume because I'm not walking around like this. But I was wearing these great patent leather stilettos. I had a black leather skirt on and a blouse. So it was perfect. There was movement there. I felt comfortable in it. But I didn't want to wear what I would normally wear. Like during the rehearsal, I was wearing a black blazer with khakis and I looked like I was wearing black blazer with, you know, khakis. I would never get up on a stage and do that. Also, you can get away with a look like if you're a jeans and boots guy, or if you're a cowboy hat guy, or if you're a woman who only wears black with funky glasses, that's fine. If it's a part of your shtick or a part of your brand or it's what people know you for, that's fine. But usually those are for people who are elevated to a point. You know, that might be the president of this or a chair of this. And maybe this is what they always wear. In the case where it was someone who always wears a cowboy hat and he always dresses like a cowboy and he wears it perfectly. He's the nicest guy in the world. Love this guy. He speaks the part, looks the part, and it's perfect. But if you were just random up there dressed that way, it would look off. Also, don't talk about your wardrobe. Don't give a story about why you're wearing this. Or I chose to wear khakis today, or I chose this. All it shows is insecurity. And really, nobody cares. Nobody cares what you're wearing unless it's ill fitting or looks really bad on you or completely out of place. So whatever you wear, make sure that you own it. Next, soon as you come up on the stage, you want to take a breath. And if you've listened to this podcast for a while, I've had this guest, one of my first guests, my first speaking coach guest, Gina Raison. She spoke about the breathing technique of speaking. I have never forgotten it, and I always, always use it. When you get up on that stage, you have to fix your lights to the spotlight or your eyes to the spotlight. They have to adjust. You're not going to see anything but a light when you stand on stage, which can be nerve wracking. And then you'll slowly start to see heads while your eyes are adjusting. That is the time that you want to visibly take a deep breath, take it in and let people see you. This is not that hidden breath. And the reason why she says to do that is because one, it calms you, it calms your brain down and you're giving yourself oxygen. But also, when people visibly see you take a breath, they may take a breath and it will calm them as well, and they'll be calmed down and everybody's going to be in the same Zen place. It does calm you. I'm sure many of you have seen speakers when they run up the stage and then they start talking and it takes a while for them to calm. And I don't know, I'm very sensitive to that. I feel the nerves of speakers when they're on stage. I don't know, it's the empathy in me, but it's like I want to calm them down. So you see it very, very often the most calm people on stage are the ones who are able to put their mind in a state of calmness. It doesn't mean that they're a better speaker necessarily. They have better information or they're more tested in it, really. It just means that they're more calm when they're up there. All right, next, you want to dress for the temperature. No one, and I mean no one is going to tell you this tip. No one. Most temperatures in ballrooms nowadays, and maybe it's just me because I'm aging and I'm cold all the time, but. But temperatures in these ballrooms now are colder than they used to be. And they can also, though, swing wildly. You may have an organizer who will set it really, really high because that's how they. They're always running hot in the hotel. Or like in the case for me in Austin, Texas, I was freezing from the minute I checked into that hotel. And when I was doing my training, the room was 62 degrees at one point. And we asked people for two days straight to come in and fix it. They never, ever fixed it. So I was chilled to the bone. Went into the rehearsals, I was wearing a jacket. Now, that was a mistake. I should not have worn a jacket. I should have taken that jacket off because I should have gotten closer to the wardrobe that I was wearing when I was speaking. And that is the tip. It's embedded in the wardrobe because had I taken my jacket off, I would have recognized that the room was freezing. And this is where there is definitely a gender bias when it comes to these hotel rooms. Guys do not think about a temperature of a room unless it's hot and they're wearing a shirt and they can visibly sweat, so they might have a flop sweat problem. For women, it's different. If the room is freezing and you are on stage and you may be nervous already and it's super cold, and if you're not wearing a jacket and you only have a blouse on, I'll only say that everyone will know that you are freezing. And I have seen this more often than not. And there is nothing that causes my anxiety to raise again. Remember when I said I, I feel how the speakers are feeling, that stress. Oh, my gosh. When you are seeing someone have a wardrobe malfunction on stage, there is nothing worse. So I taught this tip to myself this week. When you are on stage, make sure to take the Temperature of the room going into it, so know what you're dealing with. I think now, honestly, coming out of this, I probably will not choose just to wear. In this case, I was wearing a champagne blouse. It was a beautiful blouse, but there wasn't a lot of room for error, if you know what I mean. So wear a wardrobe or pick a wardrobe that has flexibility to it, that you feel comfortable in it, and you won't have any malfunctions. All right. In every podcast, I leave an indestructible tip. And this is the point where I'll say, last week in my Real Time podcast discussing the Oscars, I failed to mention the indestructible tip. And it was because someone had mentioned it to me at this conference. Well, you know how you always do that tip? At the end I went, oh, my gosh. When I was doing that last podcast in my state of exhaustion with Will Smith, I completely forgot my indestructible tip. Maybe I could slip it in there. Here it is. Don't slap people on stage. Aha. I made it fit into this episode as well. But here is the indestructible tip for this episode. For every talk, it helps to have a person. And what I mean by that is a person who's going to help manage your reputation. That person is going to be sitting near the front of the room. They're going to be either with you or someone you know well or someone on the team, someone who you trust and someone who you can confide in, someone who you can look to to make sure that everything's going well. And in the case of my talk, I had to have my go to person, Coco, give me the eye. And I said, if I'm in trouble or no, she gave me this tip. She said, if I need to, I will send a signal and I will cross my arms. That will be your signal to cross your arms. I just want to bring the innuendo there. I think women, you know exactly where I'm going with this. She never had to cross her arms. So that was good. Everything was good and I took care of everything. But it helps to have that person in the room with you. It's just someone who you can lock eyes with at some point. They can tell you that everything is going well from a wardrobe optic point of view. But also it's good to have that friendly face. Someone who's looking at you saying, you got this, this looks great. You're going, you're moving. Everything is good. That's a calming presence. As well. People can read you just as when you're standing up on stage and you know how you can read a room and you can tell people and how they are responding to what you're saying. Every single person sitting in those seats, they can read you as well. And what we want when you are speaking is someone who feels indestructible. That's all for this week on the podcast. Thanks for attending my talk, everyone. Nice to have you here. I'm out. Bye for now.