210: 5 Things Not To Do in a Social Media Crisis

I just got off the phone with my lawyer for the dum dums in the room. I filed in podcasts, in television, and for hats and clothing, so I didn't file for it in any other place. So take a fucking seat if you don't know what you're talking about. Oh, Bethenny Frankel. Everyone on TikTok knows what they're talking about and they are talking about you and what you said about some small creators on the platform. But excuse me, Bethany. I'll have the Great Gazoo speak on my behalf. That dum dum is where I have to draw the line. Welcome to the Indestructible PR podcast, where we use current events and tested media and PR strategies to help prevent or manage a crisis and build an indestructible reputation. Wow. Last week on TikTok was hot. Did you witness any part of the social media fiasc of Bethany Frankel? If you were on the platform last week watching the Bethenny Frankel TikTok meltdown, then chances are you already know the problem with what she did and what she said and how she reacted. If you didn't, I'm just going to give you a little peek into this whole new kind of reality drama. Bethenny Frankel, once the star of the Real Housewives in New York City airing on Bravo, found herself in the middle of a huge social social media crisis when she sent a cease and desist order to two creators on TikTok that turned out to be the biggest mistake of her entire career. This week on the podcast, I want to discuss why it was such a bad social media fiasco for her, but also some of the things that we can learn from a social media fiasco, such as the one that Bethenny Frankel is still going through at this mom. Talk about five things not to do when you are at the center of a social media crisis. Well, I don't want to go too deep into explaining it. I mean, after a week on TikTok, watching all this, I feel like I know the story of Bethany Rankle and what she did, almost to the letter, but roughly in general. Let me just go back a couple steps here. So she was on the Real Housewives of New York City. Like I said, she's in her 50s, she's around my age, 50, 51. And recently she sued TikTok after her image was allegedly used without her permission to sell counterfeit products. So this popped up in the news recently. You may have seen the stories about it, or maybe not. But when I noticed it, this story and was reading articles about it, I thought, gosh, this is interesting because I'm watching BETHANY all over TikTok comparing cosmetics, you know, by this. Or she's comparing expensive cosmetic beauty brands to brands that you can buy at a drugstore. So this is becoming clearly her shtick. So much so that most people who know her know that she's. I don't even like calling her a savvy businesswoman anymore because of her last week, but she's known as being a very gritty, gutsy businesswoman. But you knew something was afoot, right? Cause it was so intentional and so deliberate. And if, and if I'm noticing and I am steeped in Gen X, it's not surprising that very savvy millennials on TikTok picked up that she was up to something, something. And one of those people happened to be Meredith Lynch. And Meredith lynch is on TikTok. She's a small creator. She's someone who discusses celebrity pop culture as it relates to social media and social media influencing. So she deep dive into celebrities who use digital and social media platforms to monetize their brand and their image, but marketing in a space to regular people like us so they'll get into subscription boxes or products and that you might see small time creators on TikTok do. So when a celebrity does this, someone who we assume has great power, privilege and wealth, when they kind of dip their toe into the world of other creators, naturally it's going to raise some scrutiny with some people. And so not surprisingly, it did. Now, particularly with one creator, Meredith lynch, as I mentioned, she has made a whole brand doing this and just kind of shedding light on what some of these celebrities are up to. And she will do some deep dives online. And in the case of Bethenny Frankel, she looked at some of Frankel's trademarks that she had listed in the public domain and started sharing them. Well, Bethany did not like this one bit and she had a problem with it. So coming off of the whole lawsuit against suing TikTok, and part of her framing for suing TikTok is that Bethenny Frankel felt that she was exposed, she felt vulnerable, she felt at risk. And a quote that I found in Newsweek, she said, I know I was violated and I don't really give up until I get what I deserve. And after the week on social media that Bethenny Frankel just had, she got what she deserved. So Frankel's stubbornness could end up costing her dearly both in terms of her reputation and her career, will she continue? Yes. But this is a huge stain to her brand and this applies to anyone. You don't have to be a former housewife. Bravo Reality housewife. To learn from what happened to her. Many of us are on social media. Many of us have businesses and brands on social media. Many of us work for companies that are on social media. You're the ones handling the social media accounts for other companies. So learning from, from what happened to Bethenny Frankel, I think is important because new things happened here in this crisis that I want to bring to light. But we're just using the example of what happened last week. Now here's where I'm going to give Bethenny Frankel a little bit of grace here because no one wants to be attacked online. No one, me included. I get grief all the time on TikTok. It is brutal grief, but you know that it comes with the territory. That's part of what it is. Social media is two way engagement. But when this kind of momentum builds up and you notice that there's a movement behind it, that movement very quickly becomes a social media PR crisis. Now, I was watching it from a social media point of view, from a celebrity, but also in my work. For years I have been working with clients who have been under attack online. I'm currently doing that. So I understand what it feels like to a person when they've been attacked. It hurts. And even though you know that it's a part of the business, it still stings. It feels like everyone is against you. It feels very, very, very personal. So in light of that, I want to share five things not to do when you're in a social media PR crisis. So this is partly inspired by Bethenny Frankel, but also in my work that I've done, especially over the past, gosh, four years, I would say that this is really kicked up. So these are all the things that I counsel clients and also what I say on TikTok after watching Bethenny Frankel's complete meltdown. Okay, number one, you do not want to make your first reaction a public reaction. Take a breath, take a pause, get all the anger out, out. Write a text, an email, film a video, then delete it. Because again, no one wants to be attacked. It's human nature to defend yourself. But it's important to remember that this social media crisis, if it has to do professionally, it's about business. So you want to react as a business. You can feel like a human and feel hurt and feel stung. But your action needs to be a professional one. This was a mistake that Bethenny Frankel made in some of her posts. She was snarky, she was petty, she was mean, she was bitchy. I played part of it at the top of the, of the podcast. And you could just tell, like listening to her and watching her, it's like, ugh. It just left this horrible residue just watching it. And that was such a mistake because that's what everybody picked up on. That's what really gained the momentum of this crisis, was her personal reaction. I've mentioned before on this podcast one of my favorite lines from one of my favorite movies, the Godfather, okay? And that is as cutthroat of a business that you could be in, right? A crime family. When Tom Hagen said to Sonny, and also Michael said the same thing, but he said it's business, not personal. Sonny. You got to remember that Sonny was a hothead. He took everything personally. And then in the end, he got shot up at a toll booth, whereas Michael didn't because he understood it's business. React like a business. Number two, but don't forget what is personal. And that's trust. When people lose that in you, you're on the wrong side of the crisis. So the disruption that is happening online with your social media crisis now, this could be a Facebook group, it could be Facebook, it could be Twitter, it could be TikTok, it could just be digital, anything. But when someone is behind a social media account, you know they're removed. When you read the words, it's like a dagger, you know, straight to your heart. But usually the reason why it is is because people are telling you how they feel. Because these disruptions trigger very personal feelings in your stakeholders, your fans, your consumers, your members, your customers, your followers. Social media are platforms that are built on personal feelings. When people feel personally hurt, when they feel personally wronged, when there is an injustice, they're going to go to a place that feels personal. They're not going to write a letter. I mean, old school. When I started in my career, I was dealing with letter writers. But now everything is digital, you know, and they may pick up the phone, but they know that's different because it's just one to one communication. A letter, you don't know where it's going. You go right in the trash. A phone call, that's just with one person. But social media, you know, many, many people are going to see it. And that personal feeling is what can really make a social media crisis. A combustible one. So always remember it feels personal to you, but react in a business, professional manner. But remember it's personal to the person who has experienced an injustice. Number three, don't put your character at risk. Something that is so true in a crisis. Every crisis reveals true character. And if that character is flawed, you cannot effectively get through a crisis. Like in the case of Bethenny Frankel, her post that she just rattled off, you know, in her bathroom, just like loosey, slurry, goosey. Just so bad. So bad. What we saw when she was calling people dum dums is we saw her true character. We saw someone who wasn't nice, who is mean. We saw the real Bethenny Frankel. 4. These are things not to do in the middle of a social media crisis. You know the old adage, don't pick a fight with someone who buys ink by the barrel. That signified not picking a fight with the press. Don't pick a fight with a reporter. Don't pick a fight with a newspaper who can print endless reams of newspaper. So that idea is the same but updated for the digital times. Don't pick a fight with people who have a platform. Now, you may have one person in your site if you want. If you really want to pick a fight with someone on social media, you might have one person in mind that you want to pick on or like a small group. But it's not you against that person or you against that group or your company against that group. It's you against them, their friends, their followers. They're mutuals on TikTok, which means you both follow each other. You are no longer fighting a person when it's on social media. You are fighting an algorithm. You writing, responding, are fighting an algorithm, a code that puts information out there. So the next time that you want to, you want to say something and strike back, representing a brand or a business or you are a part of your business, know that it's going beyond that. The algorithm will pick that up. My goodness. Last week, if you watched one Bethenny Frankel video, you watched them all. You saw them all. Because the for you page, that's like the algorithm, right? That's. That's the pages that come up on everyone's pages. And there was a time last week where I opened up my TikTok. Every single post I saw was about Bethenny Frankel. And all I could think about as a crisis communicator was, oh, my God, she can't contain this. She cannot contain this. This is so beyond her that you cannot capture it. So you do not want to pick a fight. And it's funny. Just as I was getting ready to record this podcast, I was monitoring a social media page of one of my clients, and there was someone who completely blasted my client. So I took a screenshot and I sent it. I sent it to my client and said, you know, do you want me to hide this because I'm someone. I don't believe in taking down complaints or when people attack. Like, I really kind of. I like leaving that up there because it draws in other people to defend you, and it kind of frames this person, particularly if it's the same person doing it over and over again. People see like, oh, this is this person ranting again. And also, it gives someone power when they know that they're being censored. So I don't do it lightly. But when you get into the area of spreading misinformation is when I want to hide things, okay? Because, again, that's where you can't control the spread. So I used to always say, oh, my gosh, keep everything up so people can see your response. But now, because of algorithms, I don't necessarily feel that way, especially when it comes to misinformation. When someone's defaming a person or, you know, when it's really just. Just charged, raw, explicit language, you don't want to keep that on there, but it's also just keeping that in mind. Now it's like you're dealing with technology, so you have to play with the technology, okay? The fifth thing you do not want to do when you're in a social media crisis, when you're replying back in your response, whether it's a video response or you're writing your response, you never want to blame. You never want to bully or belittle or punch down, threaten or target a person or a group at the center of this crisis. Because what often happens is when the momentum starts to build against you. And everything that I've noticed, and this is with my clients, so I could say almost every single one of my clients that I have dealt with a social media crisis, it's not about what the grievance is about, okay? It's not about, oh, this business did that. I don't like the decision that the business made. It's usually attached to a value system. Okay? It's someone's belief in something. So it could be a movement about something. Okay? It could be about. So if it's an active activist group, okay, it could be about the environment. It could be about animal safety, it could be about protecting children. You know, like these values, it's like tied in to that type of a movement. Typically, you know, that's, that's what it is. In the case of Bethany Frankel, she was getting into the details, like calling people dumb, dumbs and really just disparaging so many people and just rude and so obnoxious. But the value system that was happening within this crisis for her was the fact that she was a celebrity, a wealthy celebrity who is on an app that was really meant for and built by small creators. That's who the app is for. It's not for celebrities. That's why you don't see a lot of celebrities on TikTok. Because celebrities don't like to do the day to day, okay? They don't like to come down to everyone's level, the hoi polloi level, and just live. They're not hustling. So people buy their things. But in the cases like what Meredith lynch is starting to notice is that some of them are right. So it's not easy for them to navigate. So someone like a Bethany Frankel who just recently was celebrating her 1 million followers on TikTok is a big. Who cares? Because you're a celebrity, you should have that many followers, okay, Just because people watch television shows, that's kind of how it works. So it's really not that impressive. But she's acting like a small creator, but her whole brand is based on criticizing people and critiquing brands. She's criticizing everyone. So when small creators, two of them, there's another creator, Bunny, who was, who was apparently doing some project with her. You can't really track Bethenny Frankel, what she was talking about. In her defense, with all these details, it was just, it was just too much to. To try and track. But she was getting so caught up in the details of why she sent Cease and Desist to these two small creators that she lost the big picture, that she shouldn't be sending Cease and Desist to small creators. Especially, as I said in the beginning, that she was suing TikTok. It's also ridiculous. So those are the five things not to do in a social media crisis. Now, in every podcast, I always mention one indestructible PR tip. And these are one of these easy to remember kind of back pocket tips to help you protect and build an indestructible reputation. And here it is. It's to remember that social media as a medium is a conversation. It is a two way engagement. What Bethenny Frankel got wrong is that she is someone of a different generation. My generation, the generation of people who grew up on the Great Gazelle, who grew up in the broadcast generation, baby boomers, the greatest generation, they grew up more probably in the radio generation, early television generation. But we understand broadcast, broadcast television, radio, even that one way communication and newspaper, it was all about one way communication and consuming one way communication. That's why Bethenny Frankel was successful on television, that's why she was magnetic on television, is because she understood the medium just like I did growing up. I loved television. I knew everything about television. I was recently had a dinner with someone and we shared TV schedules from the nights of the week, what TV shows we watched in the 70s and 80s and remembered, okay, because we're the broadcast generation, social media is not of our generation. Doesn't mean that we can't use it and it doesn't mean that we can't use it effectively. But we're not conditioned to use it. Okay? Digital natives, millennials, elder millennials, Gen Z, they're more conditioned to use it and understand it. So when you are on social media, you can sell. On social media, you can sell who you are, you can sell products, but it's important to remember you're also selling values. That's how the platform works. You can sell yourself, personal or brand, as a representative of a company, but it's also attached to values. You're triggering how people feel about things and people have values. So you can't make it all about you. You can't just make it for some scam or some dollar or to pull something over on someone else. And I'm saying this as someone who's a Gen Xer Millennials, Gen Z, they own us on these apps. They own us. You can't make it all about you. Right kazoo? Have your fun, fellows. But take heed, Greed brings trouble, which is now approaching. Thanks for listening to the podcast. Remember, you can follow me on Twitter, YouTube, Insta, and of course TikTok. And if you want more information, you can always listen to my book. You can find it on Audible or, or of course on Amazon. It's called Indestructible. Reclaim control and respond with confidence in a media crisis where I go way deeper on how to respond to these crisis. Thanks so much for listening. Bye.