236: The Dalai Lama Responds: Analyzing the Intent Behind the PR Statement

I'm someone who likes to analyze public apologies, kind of like a bookie who's offering odds on a sports bet. What's the over under for someone getting through a PR crisis based on their public response or apology? So some organization or company runs into some problems and now they need to make amends. But this apology, ooh, what are the odds? The Dalai Lama apologized on Monday after footage showed him asking a young boy to, quote, suck my tongue at a public event. That incident took place at a public event on February 28th. Now, in Tibetan culture, sticking out one's tongue is a sign of respect or agreement. But the video, which has been making the rounds on social media, has made a lot of people really uncomfortable. The Dalai Lama can be a joker, but I think there's no surprise that this has caused outrage consternation all across the Internet. Welcome to the Indestructible PR Podcast, where we use current events and tested media and PR strategies to help prevent or manage a crisis and build an indestructible reputation. In this episode, not on my 2023 bingo card, the Dalai Lama apologizing after a video emerged showing the spirit kissing a child on the lips and then asking him to suck my tongue. That was a hard stop. Let me start off here with a content trigger warning. The subject matter in the video accompanying the story, you know, they're both disturbing. It's an audio podcast, so I'm not showing the video. But you heard some clips in the beginning about it, and if you've been online just for the past week, you probably saw some clips from it. But it is a disturbing video to watch. I honestly don't think many people could even watch it. The Dalai Lama with a young boy and not feel deeply uncomfortable. On this episode, I want to take a closer look at the Dalai Lama's response and analyze the intent behind the PR statement. Now, before we get into the PR response itself, let's just a little background on the Dalai Lama. And to be honest, it's not like I'm coming in as an expert. I had to go to the goog and figure out exactly who the Dalai Lama is. I mean, I had somewhat of a pedestrian knowledge of who the Dalai Lama is and how the whole system works, but I wanted to also find out more information in context with this PR crisis. So a Dalai Lama is a title given by the Tibetan people to the foremost spiritual leader of the Gelug, which I am not pronouncing correctly, even though I tried and I googled it many times. Or the yellow Hat school of Tibetan Buddhism. So this is the newest and most dominant of the four major schools of Tibetan Buddhism. Now, the Dalai Lama is someone who is one of the most admired men in the world. So definitely ranks with the Pope right now. Pope Francis, as a world religious leader, cited as someone who is most admired. Now, the Dalai Lama, which some people didn't know this, you know, just based on conversations that a Dalai Lama. There's not just one Dalai Lama, you know, there's a succession of them, but they're believed to be manifestations of the patron saint of Tibet. I did not know that. I learned that the current Dalai lama is the 14th Dalai Lama. His name is Tenzin Gyatso and he describes himself as a simple Buddhist monk. He is the spiritual leader of Tibet. He was born in 1935. And this is important because one of the reasons behind this incident, I will come back to that. But at the age of two, he was recognized as the reincarnation of the previous 13 Dalai Lama. And here we are. Now, for the Dalai Lama, there is a guiding principle. I want to mention that as well. Off of his website, he describes himself firstly, as a human being is concerned with encouraging people to be happy, helping them understand that if their minds are upset, mere physical comfort will not bring them peace. But if their minds are at peace, even physical pain will not disturb their calm. Arguably, I don't know if I believe that because things can hurt. But I like where he's going. I like the principle behind this. He advocates for the cultivation of warm heartedness and human values such as compassion, forgiveness, tolerance, contentment and self discipline. Who can argue with that? The irony, it is some of those values that are called into question because of this latest PR crisis. Now, this isn't the first situation to happen with the dalai Lama. In 2010, the Dalai Lama told a reporter that the first time someone asked him about the possibility of a female Dalai Lama, he said, quote, if she is an ugly female, she won't be very effective, will she? And then in 2015, he said at one occasion, and this was more than 50 years ago in Paris, he said the line to the reporter of a woman's magazine that if a female Dalai Lama comes, the face should be very, very attractive. So this Dalai Lama does believe in beauty, certainly inner beauty, but has made many remarks saying that the outward appearance, the external appearance of a person is very important and possibly has some thoughts on females as well. I mean, not unlike many other leaders, you know, who kind of step in it when it comes to that type of dialogue now for the situation that we're talking about today. It's about a video that was filmed in February 2023, but started to make notice now in April. So it took some time for this to go viral. And if you haven't seen the video, I do have a link to the video in the show notes, if you want to watch it, I'm not going to encourage you to watch it. But if you're curious, the interaction took place at the Dalai Lama's temple, and he was in India, where Dalai Lama lives in permanent exile. So There were approximately 100 students who were in attendance. There were a lot of adults around the Dalai Lama and this child interacting. But the video resurfacing in 2023 is interesting to me because of that lag. You know, that's a long time. But perhaps it was because it was in India. You know, it took time to travel, or it took that time for people to notice because it was an official video. When the boy is up with the Dalai Lama, it appears that this boy is not comfortable. It is, you know, claimed that the boy wanted to come up and ask the Dalai Lama for a hug, and the Dalai Lama hugged the boy, and there was some interaction, you know, with the boy that was happening back and forth. The boy seemed reluctant. You know, the boy got more than he bargained for. We'll just leave it at that. But in the statement where he had asked, you know, for a hug, he had also asked to if he would, you know, suck on the tongue. Now, this is part of the issue now, to see a grown man asking a young child, and the age was never reported, but let's say 11, to ask a child who he's already hugged to suck his tongue. Now, there has been a lot of conversation about this, and when I was Googling, I did a TikTok post about this, which I also include in the show notes. And I had to research the other side of the story about the motivation for asking the child to suck his tongue, because there would be. There would be someone at least, you know, in India or Tibet or someone affiliated with Buddhism that would explain why he would ask to suck the tongue. So definitely there was a cultural difference that was happening there. So in Tibetan culture, physical affection is often expressed through kissing and other forms of touch. So some are arguing that the Dalai Lama was trying to show affection to the child in a way that was consistent with his cultural background and that it was misinterpreted by people outside the culture, Western culture, because in the Tibetan world, They're viewing it as a Western criticism and one that lies in Westerns being more uptight about situations, and that the meaning of the tongue movement or, you know, the gesture was simply a misunderstanding, that it was more cultural. Okay, we're going to pause right there, because I can buy that. And in my research, the tongue is definitely a part of that culture. However, capital H, that's not what was written in the response. Okay. If we were looking at that cultural piece which other people are defending, one would think that would line up in the response. Now, this public response, you know, appeared once the video went viral. We had a response within 24 or 48 hours as that was happening. And then there was a lag after the response. And then it hit the Western press, you know, the US Press. And then on Monday morning, the morning after Easter is when the story hit. And as a matter of fact, after Easter weekend, the first thing in the morning, I went to Twitter, and it was literally the first tweet that I saw. And it was like, wow, you know, coming from Easter Mass, which I cannot go to a Mass without thinking about the Catholic Church and the Catholic Church problem. And of course I feel guilty because I'm like, I'm sorry, God, you know, that I'm sitting and I'm thinking about what happened in the church and living in Boston when that whole thing started. And this is what I'm thinking about when I should be praying and I should be, you know, just enjoying the Easter Mass for what it is about. Christ has risen. But no, when you work in public relations and crisis management, you think about the Catholic Church and the crisis of the Catholic Church. So then to open up this Dalai video the next morning was like, wow, that is a trip. So let's look now at the response itself. Context again, you know, I'd mentioned, you know, what the Dalai Lama had said about, you know, the females that he has been criticized in the past. There's also the age, and there's also the culture. Now, the statement itself did appear on the Dalai Lama website. It was also posted to Facebook and Twitter and Instagram. The Dalai Lama does have a YouTube channel. There wasn't any video or anything up there. I also went to Reddit. I tend to go to Reddit to get dialogue just from the common people. Like, what do a lot of people out there think? Because experts, fine, there are experts out there. But then, you know, you want to get, like, a public sample of what people think. Overwhelmingly, you know, people were, like, wildly offended. You know, for every God, 50 replies. One person would mention or ask about the cultural difference, but overwhelmingly, people were just disgusted. And it triggered, oh, my goodness, on Reddit, the amount of people who talked about their own sexual abuse. And watching that video triggered it. Oh, gosh. Awful, awful, awful, awful. I'm not coming in with an opinion one way or the other what the Dalai Lama meant or did not mean, you know, by asking the boy to suck his tongue. Who am I to judge? Who am I to decide what is right or wrong? But in Western culture, that's not going to fly, you know, for anyone. So you are going to need a response. So on April 10, 2023, this was the statement that was posted to the website and shared everywhere. A video clip has been circulating that shows a recent meeting when a young boy asked His Holiness, the Dalai Lama, if he could give him a hug. His Holiness wishes to apologize to the boy and his family, as well as his many friends across the world for the hurt his words may have caused. His Holiness often teases people he meets in an innocent and playful way, even in public and before cameras. He regrets the incident. I looked at that post on the different social media platforms, Instagram, also Facebook, you know, again, even on the pages where it is filled with followers, there was a lot of criticism. You know, for example, like this Facebook post almost predicts what I'm going to tell you, you know, about my views about the statement. The way the statement announcement is framed is problematic in and of itself as it's framed by omission. The inability to be fully responsible for one's behavior, the reluctance to own it. Total Molly McPherson words. There prevents full healing for the community. In light of the history of spiritual leaders throughout the world taking advantage of followers in myriad of ways, this follower is reflecting on that pearl of wisdom. Be a light unto thyself this morning. Deeply disappointed by the behavior as well as by the way his office frames that. Rah, rah. But there's a lot of posts like that, a lot of commentary like that. Now, at first glance, you know, that response, the Dalai Lama's response, you know, appears to be a sincere attempt to address the controversy. He's upholding values, you know, you feel of, you know, compassion, respect, care. But, you know, upon closer analysis, there's another motivation at play in that statement. That is a damage control statement. On Monday, I teach my college class. We're going to be wrapping that up pretty soon at Boston University. And we were talking about, you know, crisis messaging. And I brought up, you know, the Dalai Lama, some of the students Already knew about it. You know, I put myself into a bit of a culture war because I do have students who are from India, I have students who are from China, and. Which I thought was interesting because I really wanted to get an international viewpoint on what happened. And the Indian students were, you know, both of them were so hurt by it. They hadn't heard about it, and it was painful for them because they view the Dalai Lama as his Holiness. And so to see that their feeling was just extreme disappointment. Whereas the Chinese students, you know, it became this conversation about propaganda and communication. And, you know, just with the history there with China, Tibetan, I should have known what I was walking into. But at the same time, it was fascinating listening to the dialogue, you know, back and forth between them again. And then after the end of that, I said, here's a great segue into empathy. Okay, so let's look at the statement. So then we all gathered in, and I read the statement to him. And so these are some of the things that I said in class and also that I had mentioned on my TikTok post about it as well. So the first sentence, a video clip has been circulating that shows a recent meeting when a young boy asked his Holiness, the Dalai Lama, if he could give him a hug. First thing that jumps out at me at that statement is the first part of the statement. A video clip has been circulating nowadays, like, more and more, I will read statements where the framing of the problem is social media. I had mentioned that in a TikTok post and a Twitter post about Mercyhurst University with the hockey player throwing a wheelchair, an unoccupied wheelchair, down the stairs. And my commentary on that was, when your first statement is about the viral nature and people complaining about it, they're deflecting the crisis and what happened, the misbehavior, whatever it is, the incident. And they're blaming the viral feedback. That's wrong. So if you're ever writing a statement in that first sentence, never, ever, ever let that first sentence be that. The only reason why we're doing the statement is because so many people have been talking about it. So, fine, we'll come up with a response. Don't do that. People can see clearly through it, like, this is the biggest red flag. Whenever I see this, I already know, like, when that's the first statement, I know that I'm in for a ride, like, buckle up, because no one's going to admit anything here. So let's go at it. Okay? And this one did not fail. Video clip has been circulating that Shows his recent meeting with a young boy, asked His Holiness, the Dalai Lama, if he could give him a hug. Okay, one sentence, two flags. That's victim blaming. The students noticed this right away. I noticed it right away. They all picked it up right away that. Well, they're already saying that the young boy is the one who caused this because he asked His Holiness, a Dalai Lama, if he could give him a hug. This is another tactic that I'm seeing more often. I did another. Yes, TikTok about the actor Jonathan Majors. He was accused of assault by his girlfriend in a public street in New York, and he was arrested for it. And his team, his PR team, his attorney, she came out and essentially blamed the victim, said she had emotional problems, said that she recanted the story, you know, multiple times, though we don't see that anymore. It's not public, but it was a complete blame the victim tactic. There is a phrase out there. It's called darvo. It's an acronym for deny, attack, reverse victim, offender. I mean, pulling this away from the Dalai Lama for a moment, but if you see any type of messaging where there is some type of assault, sexual assault, or there is someone who's been victimized, look for that type of language. You know, that language does exist. You know that darvo acronym exists where they're denying what happened, like, wasn't me. And then they're going to attack, and they're going to reverse it on the victim, and they're going to blame the victim, and then the victim becomes the offender. That is another tactic that should never be done. Now back to the Dalai Lama. I kind of see this. They're doing the same thing. It's. They're saying, hey, well, the boy asked for the hug. This never would have happened if he didn't ask for the hug. Yet. I don't know if we see that on the video that he asked for a hug. It kind of says it and implies it, but we don't really see video of this kid asking for the hug. Maybe it's there, maybe it's not questionable. Next sentence. His Holiness wishes to apologize to the boy and his family as well as his many friends across the world for the hurt his words may have caused. So we have the apology. We have it buried now into the middle of the statement. So we are deflecting a little. Like, we're not doing a full admission on anything. We are kind of parsing out the apology. So the Dalai Lama is apologizing to the boy and to his family. Now, one of the Students in class, like, pointed this out, and she was right. I missed this, and she was right. This sentence apologized to the boy and his family, as well as his many friends across the world for the hurt. His words, when it's written, I mean, it's written accurately, but it also does have a parts of sentence, you know, problem. There's like a predicate, direct, indirect object issue going on. Maybe I'm not a grammarian here to, you know, point out exactly what it is, but it's a little fuzzy there because are we apologizing for the hurt to the Dalai Lama's many friends? I mean, that's what the statement means, but it kind of reads almost like the boys in a way as well. It's a little clunky there. So there's our apology. So it's baked in right in the middle. The next part. His Holiness often teases people he meets in an innocent, playful way, even in public, before cameras. Okay, Those keywords, teases, innocent, playful. Now, when you think of the Dalai Lama, you may have, you know, if you watch the Dalai Lama on video, if you have any recollection of the Dalai Lama, I think that's part of the quote, unquote brand is he does laugh and tease. Like, that's kind of his brand. Okay, so that fits. But these words are intentional. These key words are intentionally placed in the sentence as a framing. Teasing, innocent, playful. Well, who teases? Adults don't do that. I mean, they do it in their own way. You can be, you know, sexual teases. But usually when you hear the word teasing, it's like, between kids, innocent kids, playful kids. So it's all about kids. So what I think that is, is that's intentional framing to place this incident as a playful act. These were just two people playing. It puts him on equal footing with the boy. Now, when you think of that tactic, like, who was the last person to use that tactic? I mean. Well, I shouldn't say the last person, but to my memory, Michael Jackson. Okay. Remember, like, Michael Jackson, who was accused of molesting young boys, went to trial for one. But it was about, you know, Michael Jackson was always teasing and playful. I mean, you think about those interviews he did. You think about, you know, Neverland. Everything was about him acting like a boy. So this, I think, is intentionally. It's, you know, it's doing the same thing. Now, again, I want to be very clear. I'm not accusing the Dalai Lama of being a sexual predator by any means. I'm just really focusing on the video and people's reaction to that video. And some people have a reaction that feels it was purely cultural and very innocent and playful and teasing. It works for them. But there are a lot of people, a lot of people who are triggered by it and find it very disturbing and do not find it that far from actual child sexual exploitation. But that language is intentional. Now, also in class, we were talking about, you know, who wrote it. I asked the students, who do you think wrote this? The Dalai Lama write it? No. Like, they all knew that, in agreement. But I said, you know, this reads like a team, not someone on the inside. And not even in the structure with the Dalai Lama would there be someone who's the head of pr. But it seems as if there was a Western firm brought in, you know, someone from the uk, someone from the US Whoever it was, but someone helped write this statement because it's really written in Western English, but it's written in US English. I mean, that's what it reads like. I'm just saying we don't know, but that's how it feels to me. So overall, you know, the controversy surrounding the Dalai Lama's behavior in this video, it is complex. Without a doubt, it does require, you know, a careful and nuanced response. Because he can't admit to exploiting this child. He's not going to do that. That's not going to happen. Because we do, you know, have the possibility there that it was culture, that it was, you know, misrepresented. But he's far from admitting that what he did was inappropriate, like that wasn't happening. So what they're doing is they're just truly doubling down on the innocence of it. Now, does it make for a bad statement for the Dalai Lama? If you were to analyze this statement, it was written in a way for a goal that needed to be achieved, which is to completely distance the Dalai Lama with anything having to do with sexual exploitation. And in that sense, the response does that. It completely distance distances the Dalai Lama from the boy. However, and there's a huge asterisk on this. This is not going to work for probably anybody else on the planet. I mean, geez, any priest? No, it's never going to work. Oh, my goodness. Because when you have video and you have video like that, the only thing that is really the saving grace behind it, or not even the grace, the only thing that allows for the complexity of it and the confusion is the cultural difference, because Western people cannot speak with authority on Tibetan culture. So they have that working for them. And that's Why I believe that that statement is framed in that way. But for anyone else, this statement would be a much different statement and it would be a lot more problematic as well. I still think, though, that because the Dalai Lama has had, you know, it wasn't his first rodeo in terms of saying things that got him into hot water. I think right now, what's happening, there's a lot of enterprising journalists out there. There's a lot of other people who are saying, scouring video footage and scouring the Internet for other examples of it. There are some journalists that wants their own Watergate, you know, on this particularly, there might even be groups out there that are really looking at this video as a problem and trying to find more evidence that this isn't the first instance of this happening with the Dalai Lama. I will park that there for a moment. But now, shifting for anyone else who has to write any type of statement like that, that is not a framework that you could use effectively, in my opinion. In my opinion. Now, in every episode, I leave you with one easy to remember takeaway to help you build an indestructible reputation. So here is your indestructible PR tip. Do not blame the audience or your stakeholders for your problems. Not in the first sentence, not in the last, but especially not in the first sentence. This has become a pattern. It falls into that. Cancel culture rhetoric. Oh, people are just out to get us. And they put that in statements. People see through that immediately. They see through that. So if you had an incident that went viral, speak to the incident. Own it, explain it, promise it. Do not speak to social media. That's all for this week on the podcast. Thanks for listening. Bye for now. Sam.