252: Behind Closed Doors: Unraveling the PR Spin of Celebrity Affairs

When it comes to the tangled web of celebrity relationships, people love to follow every twist and turn. But the court of public opinion becomes like a magnifying glass and starts scrutinizing every single move when things go sideways, like in these cases. New couple alert. Ariana Grande is dating her Wicked co star, Ethan Slater. A source telling ET they have a lot in common and have a lot of fun. I was unfaithful. I had affairs. I cheated. The couple met on the set of the hit movie Mr. And Mrs. Smith in 2004, and the rest was basically history. They immediately started dating because of their undeniable chemistry, even though Brad was actually married to Jennifer Aniston at the time. I'm here today to again apologize for the personal mistakes I have made and the embarrassment I have caused. I make this apology to my neighbors and my constituents, but I make it particularly to my wife, Huma. Adam Levine speaking out after an Instagram model accuses him of cheating on his wife, Beati Prinsloo. Essentially, I was having an affair with a man who's married to a Victoria's Secret model. Next on the list, this recent revelation that Broadway actor Ethan Slater. I know. Who has stirred it up with pop singer Ariana Grande. So now social media, the press TikTok is a buzzing. Everyone likes a good scandal, me included. Let's chat about messy, messy celebrity affairs and the PR spin that people use to deny them. Welcome to the indestructible PR podcast, where we use current events and tested media and PR strategies to help prevent or manage a crisis and build an indestructible reputation. In this episode, let's explore the delicate dance of public perception and the challenges that many celebrities face when their personal lives are thrust into the spotlight over a messy, messy affair. So let's discuss how navigating these celebrity affairs require a fine balance of honesty, authenticity, and a little bit of discretion so it doesn't ruin career disclaimer. I think it's fair to say that anyone can use these lessons, though it is not advised to need them. The alternative title for this podcast episode, how to Survive a Celebrity Affair, Lessons from Ariana Grande and Ethan Slater. Now, I could have recorded an entire podcast around these two, but I know a lot of people listening right now. When they hear the name Ethan Slater, they go, what? Who is this person? Go ahead. If you're at your desk right now, just jump it into the goog and see the results. And then look at that and go, hmm. Celebrity affairs are nothing new in Hollywood. They go way, way Back, they cause a lot of damage. Back in the day, before we had serious tabloid press everywhere in social media and everybody holding a phone, it was a lot easier for publicists and managers to hide these covert relationships. But nowadays it is very, very difficult for anyone to get away with anything, whether you're a celebrity or not. Tracking technology and phones and everyone knowing everyone's business and GPS and ring cameras and all of it, anyone could be exposed at any moment and it can cause a lot of damage to a reputation. So whether it's a one night stand or a long term relationship, cheating on your spouse or your partner, although never ever advised, usually has serious consequences to a personal and professional life. So how does one handle an aftermath of a public infidelity scandal without losing fans, your friends or your career? Here's the point where I will add another disclaimer. I am by no means recommending, suggesting, forgiving the act of cheating on a partner or a spouse. I'm looking at this not as a playbook for how to get out of it. No, I'm looking at it more from curiosity, tracking how people respond. After all, this is what I do. I'm always looking for responses because public relations is always tied in to human relations. And how humans react when they are on the spot will forever fascinate me for a very meta reason. Now, how do celebrities navigate the PR when it comes to these types of affairs or cheating scandals? Before we get into the actual couples themselves, let's just talk about, you know, why do celebrities have affairs? What's the reason behind it? Now, obviously there's a lot of factors involved. We don't know what they are, I don't know what they are. I'm not personally involved in these types of matters, but I certainly follow them. But it's easy to assume that. And you know, just in relationships in general, you have two personalities. You have compatibility, you have communication. Is it good, is it bad? We have measures of satisfaction. I'll just leave it at that. And then we just have people who are bored out of their minds. So having an affair is not just exclusive to celebrities, but celebrities have something a little bit different because they have a higher level of power and fame and likely money and some combination thereof. There's also the piece of the reputation. If your current partner, you know, matching the current partner and the partner you're going after, are they a high mate value ad? In other words, are they dating up, are they dating down? See Ariana Grande and Ethan Slater. And by no means I'm not dunking on either one of them. I'm especially not dunking on Ethan. We will get back to him. But he's. When you just read on, when you read about this latest scandal, you go, huh, huh? It makes sense. Yet sometimes it doesn't. All right, so now when we get into the celebrity world, the celebrity mind, I'm going to make a broad generalization here. In many cases, we're talking about men who are leaving wives to go off and have these affairs. And why would they do it? Okay, this is what my quick research says in just my brain. Common sense one, they like the thrill of the chase. They're risk takers. They perhaps prefer to find a partner or someone where they don't need accountability. They don't need to answer to someone. Maybe they're feeling underappreciated. Maybe they're feeling neglected. Maybe they're ignored in their current relationship. They're bored in it. They feel like a prop. They don't feel special anymore. They don't feel attractive, they don't feel desirable, desired, until someone comes along to make them feel that way. Now, of course, these are not reasons to justify or excuse having an affair. I know 99.9% of the people listening to this podcast episode right now are not celebrities. There may be celebrities out there. Do not have affairs, do not follow these playbook. Because I'm just going to give you a little highlight right now. Bottom line up front. No one has really done it well, no one really has written the playbook on this. So that's why I wanted to look into it. Okay? Now there is risk to having affairs for celebrities. You know, in the past, like, you think back, all the movies, LA Confidential, Gosh, I love that movie. That was when Russell Crowe was. Oh, God, he was so cute back then. But you think about blackmail, you think about, you know, legal troubles, you just think about the. Just the reputation hit that, you know, people take again, mostly guys, but not that women don't do it, because if we're looking at Ariana Grande and Ethan Slater. So these two reportedly have had an affair while they're filming the movie adaptation of Wicked. Now, I didn't even know that they were doing this. I had certainly heard about the affair, but I didn't know that they were filming this movie, Wicked. I remember reading that book with my book club years and years ago, and I struggled so mightily to get through that book. And then I remember when Wicked was doing their national tour before they hit Broadway, and I thought, how did they turn that? Absolutely boring. Book into a Broadway musical and look at it now. It's. It's killing it. And now it's a movie. Now it's a movie and it's not. It ain't boring. That is for sure. Now, Ariana Grande, she has a history of being with men. I'm not going to go deep into it, but the rap on her. She's dated a lot of people. I mean, she's a pop singer, she's a pop star. Part of the whole appeal and the publicity behind it is who you're dating. So she has been dating for a while. So her first relationship of record that I saw with Graham Phillips, that was in 2008 when she was only 15 years old. So they were both in the Broadway musical 13. The through line starts there and it will come all the way to the end. Okay. Then she was dating someone else, a YouTube star who she met on Twitter. Then there was another guy named Nathan Sykes. She collaborated on a song with them. Okay, we're continuing the through line. And then she started dating rapper Big Sean, who was in a relationship. You can call me out on this one. I don't think they were engaged yet. They were dating and then they became engaged. The late Glee star Naya Rivera. So in her book, sorry, Not Sorry, she. She recounted how she found Ariana Grande in his home while they were still dating. So she didn't name Ariana Grande in her book. She said schmariana Shmonde. In her book, well done. She spoke with a lawyer. Then she dated a backup dancer. Then there was Mac Miller. So he is. We're going to call him, a rapper. That's who I associate her dating. They broke up. He died of a drug overdose. Then she went to Pete Davidson. Pete Davidson was dating Cassie David, Larry David's daughter. Mac Miller was dating someone as well. And then now she was just broke. The relationship with Dalton Gomez, who's a real estate agent. So the through line there. So we're not going to blame everything on Ethan Slater. We're going to set the table how it should be set. That Ariana Grande has. Let's just call it a pattern here when it comes to how she falls into this relationship. She falls into them with collaborators, singers, rappers, artists. She has a real estate agent thrown in there. Maybe she was just trying to go normal. But she gets entangled in these. She goes after the unattainable, and people do that. People. There is risk and there is excitement in the chase. When you can go after someone who is wholly unattainable. Now, Ethan Slater so far has not made any public statement about this affair. Now, Ethan Slater, he was in SpongeBob SquarePants playing the role of SpongeBob SquarePants. And it fits. He's also playing the role of a munchkin, I believe, who falls in love with Glinda, who is Ariana Grande. Okay? And apparently the two of them were not really hiding their affection for each other during the rehearsals. Now, because of the writers strike and the SAG strike after, the movie is on hold. Now, that comes into play in the public relations response because the studio doesn't have to determine, oh, what do we do? Do we get rid of Ethan Slater? Do we just chuck the whole thing? Now, I don't think that's going to happen. It puts the public response on pause because there isn't a risk while the movie is on hold. There's some risk, but not a lot of it. So he hasn't said anything. But according to sources, which these are the leaks, he told his wife, Lily J. Whom he met in high school. They've been together since high school. They had a son last November. But according to sources, he wanted a divorce a few days before the media reported this relationship with Grande could be true. Likely not true. Other sources are claiming that Slater and Grande were both separated from their spouses. Now, that is a narrative we hear a lot in these divorces that, oh, behind the scenes, we already separated. Not buying this one. So for those of you keeping score, Ethan and Ariana Grande are. No comment whatsoever. Now, who has commented via a friend or a publicist is Ethan Slater's wife, Lily J. Who was, quote, blindsided by this revelation about her husband, which was brilliant. I did a quick TikTok about that because it landed in Page Six as an exclusive. So that means Lily J. Knows someone or knows someone who knows someone that understands prison, and they just drop it to Page Six, which is New York Post, you know, gossip, calm. So there we go. So that was nice. So she has already framed it. Ethan and I did not talk about this. I was blindsided. All right, moving along now, certainly depending on where you fall, age wise, generation wise, you know, some of these affairs, these scandals, you're going to remember, some you may not. Now, again, like, if we're looking for, through lines of what people do, if there is a playbook and one that should not be followed, there is always a denial. There's some form of a denial. Because every scandal that I have ever followed involving some alleged affair or fallout from an affair, there is always a narrative being pushed to see if they can get away with it. Similar to, oh, my wife and I discussed this before it went public. There's always a narrative of, oh, there were other problems or touching on, you know, things weren't great at home. Kind of the Ben Affleck sitting down with Howard Stern when he was discussing. He was on a marathon interview with Howard Stern during the pandemic, and he was doing promotion for an upcoming movie, and he was discussing his marriage to Jennifer Garner. Now he isn't, quote, there's an asterisk on him. That relationship did not break up over an affair, per se. It was really the incompatibility of their lifestyles. You know, Ben struggled with addiction, and blind gossip would say that he's had multiple, multiple, multiple affairs. So I don't. I think any reasonable person could look at that relationship and know what Jennifer Garner was dealing with. But because Ben Affleck deals with addiction, reasonable people can assume why that was happening. But he made a comment during that very long interview where he had stated that Jennifer Garner, he just said he couldn't live in it anymore. He was almost casting her in this kind of boring life, and that he was so miserable in his marriage that he had to leave his marriage. Now, even when I was listening to that and I was watching it, I knew he didn't mean that he was. He was mostly talking about his struggles and how much he was suffering. But it came out in a way where it looked like he was blaming Jennifer Garner, and he got a lot of pushback for that, and I don't think he was. But that shows why the blaming narrative just doesn't work. People can see right through it, and in many cases, they just do it, I think, because they're going to roll the dice, see if it works. They know it's not going to work. But if you put that type of narrative out there, maybe you can just kind of squeeze through. All right, so let's start jumping into some of the celebrities. If you remember the first one, John Mulaney. I recently did a podcast about John Mulaney because he came out with a new Netflix comedy special titled Baby J. And I had stated on my TikTok post, and now on Instagram as well, that I believe that Baby J was his official public statement for his divorce. Because what happened is John Mulaney made a lot of money as a comedian, in part talking about his relationship and then his marriage to Anna Marie Tendler. She is a photographer, an artist. She was a lampshade designer. She's kind of one of these cool, hip chicks, and they had real kind of cool, hip relationship because he always talked about her, you know, in his bit. And they. And they had a dog, Petunia. But then things went real sideways for John Mulaney when it was revealed that he and Olivia Munn were together. And the timeline was very, very messy. Now, the reason why we know that he cheated on his wife, Anna Marie Tendler, with Olivia Munn is because Olivia gave birth to their son in November of 2021. So the timeline was not working out for him at all. So he received a lot of blowback. Now, what do these people do when they are caught? We have sources dropping like crazy. This is why I don't think we have official statements anymore, because we're just going to use. We're going to do blind gossip. We're going to drop to blind gossip. We are going to have friends of friends, unnamed sources that are going to put, you know, narratives in there. Now, some sources are saying about Mulaney that he had asked for a divorce from Tendler three months before he started dating Mun. Now, we don't know this. Nobody knows this. He reportedly met Mun at church in Los Angeles, and she did support him by liking a tweet of his. She. She breadcrumbed him. That's the term when he entered rehab for alcohol and drug abuse in December of 2020. So they definitely knew each other. Now, when this was revealed, this was also after the intervention that Mulaney had that he accounted in the Baby J special, which I think you should watch. It's not as funny as all those other specials out there, but it's good. It's. It's definitely good. But again, I think it's just one big official public relations statement from John Mulaney to give context to why he did what he did. He blamed a lot of it on addiction, which I think is smart. Now, Tendler, though, did share some of her feelings on Instagram. Like, she was noted as saying, it was a harsh and punishing year. She was trying to cope with the unfathomable loss of her relationship. She was thrown. She was blindsided. I mean, she made that very, very clear. She was not giving him an inch. Mulaney and Tendler finalized their divorce in January of 2022. So that was five months after Mulaney initially actually filed. Now, the details of the settlement are not known. I mean, we know that she has the house in Connecticut, but John Mulaney, he did Baby J. And now you can see Malcolm, baby Malcolm and Olivia and John as the happy family. And Anna Marie I know is dating someone new, but a lot of people haven't forgotten that based on the. The replies on that. Tick tock. A lot of people are still mad with. Still mad at John Mulaney. Neat. All right, another one going even further back in time. Woo. Do you remember Thanksgiving weekend 2000? Oh gosh, 2009. I believe I'm gonna have to fact check this one. I'm sorry. I think it is 2009 when the most popular golfer in the world was fleeing his home and his wife came after him with a golf club and shattered the windows. Oh my goodness. I remember it clear as day because it was Thanksgiving weekend. I was on the Jersey Shore. I was supposed to work on the Friday after Thanksgiving down in dc. I couldn't get down to DC and I was calling my co worker Alicia, like, you need to cover for me while I was gripped by the Tiger woods story. I mean, talk about a story. That really got me interested in spin. It was that story. So Tiger woods was trying to control this narrative, but every. The press descended on his house in Florida. The helicopters were over his house. Oh my gosh, it was. Wow, that was quite the spectacle. Now when Tiger woods was found out now he had an affair with. Do you remember the name? Go ahead, say it out loud. Rachel Yukitel, whose boyfriend. The first time we had heard of her was 9 11. Her boyfriend died in 9 11. That was the first time that we saw her, though we didn't know it was her. So he was married to his wife, Elan on notogram. Beautiful, beautiful woman. They had two kids. So cute. The younger one is a golfer now, so he did not cop to it. However, he did issue a general apology for his infidelity and misconduct. He had a press conference and that happened in February 2010. So it was a couple months later. And in it he said, quote, I want to say to each of you simply and directly, I'm deeply sorry for my irresponsible and selfish behavior I engaged in. I know people want to find out how I could be so selfish and so foolish. People want to know how I could have done these things to my wife Elin, and to my children. And while I have always tried to be a private person, there are some things I wanted to say. And then he goes on to admit that he had been unfaithful to his wife with multiple women and that he betrayed his core values and his family. He said he was unfaithful he had affairs and that he cheated. He also said what he did was not acceptable and that he was the only person to blame. And then he said something that many do when they're called out on this and they have to have a press conference. He asked for forgiveness and understanding from his fans, his sponsors, his friends, and his family. He said, quote, I ask you to find room in your heart to one day believe in me again. Now, I think what most people believed is that he would cheat again. It's Tiger woods now. They divorced in 2010. They were married for six years. They did release a joint statement when they were divorced, and they said that they're sad that their marriage is over and they wish each other the best for the future, but they're going to raise their kids together. Now, what sets apart Tiger woods from other celebrities and stars is okay. He had a press conference back then in 2009, people had press conferences. We had local television. We had national, we had cable television. People expected press conferences. This is the time when everyone converged in one place to hear the story. Now, we did have. In 2010, we did have Twitter. You know, certainly we had Facebook. But we weren't as driven by social media news. This was a cable news event. The big reason why he had to come out and apologize and admit he didn't want to, the reason why Tiger woods had to admit it, is because all the women he had affairs with came out. They completely outed him. He had no choice. But it's a matter of what was at stake for him. It's not just celebrity for Tiger woods and how people feel about him. You know, reasonable people can assume, okay, Tiger woods, he's on the road. Does a professional athlete have affairs? Yeah, okay, maybe. But it's with his sponsors. It's when it comes to money. Sponsors do not want to sponsor men who cheat and are bad to their wives. So we had to clean the slate on that to protect the sponsorship. Now, let's move on to someone who didn't have a sponsorship to protect, but he did have to protect his reputation, and that was Brad Pitt. Now, he never officially confirmed that he left Jennifer Aniston from Friends for Angelina Jolie. But he did admit that he fell in love with Jolie on the set of the film they were shooting together, Mr. And Mrs. Smith. And they were filming during his marriage to Jennifer Aniston. In a 2008 interview with Rolling Stone, Pitt said in the interview, again, not an official statement, but just kind of slid it into an interview. Quote, what people don't understand is that we filmed brackets, Mr. And Mrs. Smith for a year. We were still filming after Jen and I split up. Even then, it doesn't mean that there was some kind of dastardly affair. There wasn't. I'm very proud of the way that it was handled. It was respectful. If someone I don't know me were to read between the lines of that statement. He is framing again, creating this narrative that he was with Angelina during the marriage, while they were married and even after they split up. In other words, it wasn't some event that just shook everything and everything fell apart. No, everything went along just fine. And when he said there wasn't some kind of affair, he said a dastardly affair. That's probably his way to not lie in his mind. Brad Pitt did a dance in his mind with his conscience and said, okay, I'm not going to call this affair. I'm going to call this that. I just. I fell in love with Angelina Jolie. I mean, I happened to be married, but you know what? Maybe it wasn't a great marriage, but I love her, so it's not dastardly. This is love. I mean, Brad Pitt said he was very proud of the way that it was handled. It was respectful. Again, it wasn't. It wasn't even Jennifer Aniston had to come out and said that and said that Brad Pitt was missing a sensitivity chip. He wasn't missing a sensitivity chip. What he had in there was a chip that told him how to get around it. He knew he was being insensitive because that was the lesser of the evils. Insensitive. He's like, I'll take it. I will take it. But I'm not going to admit to destroying Rachel Green from Friends who everybody loved. Now, what did he do in 2011? Well, something similar that Ben Affleck did. He seemed to imply that his marriage to Aniston was boring and unfulfilling. Sparked a bit of backlash from Aniston's fans. So he told Parade magazine, quote, I spent the 90s trying to hide out, trying to duck the full celebrity cacophony. I started to get sick of myself sitting on a couch, holding a joint, hiding out. It started feeling pathetic. It became very clear to me that I was intent on trying to find a movie about an interesting life, but I wasn't living an interesting life myself. I think that my marriage bracket to Aniston had something to do with it. Trying to pretend the marriage was something that it wasn't. Ouch. It's full blame. He's blaming Jennifer aniston. He's blaming drugs. He's blaming boredom. He's blaming celebrity, but he's also blaming aniston. Pitt later clarified his statement, and he said that he meant no disrespect to aniston, who he called, quote, an incredibly giving, loving, and hilarious woman, end quote. He also added, quote, it grieves me that this was interpreted this way. Jen is an incredibly giving, loving, and hilarious woman who remains my friend. It is an important relationship I value greatly, end quote. Now, who is he blaming? He's blaming the public. He's blaming the public that we would actually think that he was disrespecting jennifer aniston, which he was because he was using her as a blame mechanism to get out of the affair that he was having with Angelina jolie. Now, paniston, I'm just going to leave it. Aniston. Pitt announced their separation in January of 2005 after four and a half years of marriage. So there's probably some illegal dancing in there. They did release a joint statement saying, quote, we would like to announce that after seven years together, we have decided to formally separate for those who follow these sorts of things. Again, blaming people like us. We would like to explain that our separation is not the result of any of the speculation reported by the tabloid media, end quote. So in other words, he's dodging it. He dodge, dodge, dodge. Because he's not naming what the speculation was, but of course, course, everybody knows what it was. He had an affair with Angelina jolie. Angelina jolie was a little ariana grande like, because she did the same thing to billy bob thorton. His girlfriend, Laura dern, was quoted as saying she. Well, loose quote, I don't have it in front of me, but she said, I went off to film a movie and when I got back, my boyfriend was engaged to Angelina jolie. So now pitt and jolie, their relationship went public in 2005 when they were photographed with jolie's adopted son. And then they adopted more kids, and then they got married. They're separated, and now they're going through a horrible, horrible, horrible divorce. Jennifer aniston is in the bird seat right now saying, huh, told you. So now those two have acted kind of buddy buddies. So she's publicly forgiving him. So you gotta give her. Gotta give her credit for that. But Brad Pitt, he's still coming out. He's in all these different movies. He's doing okay, though. He is on the down low on a lot of things. You don't see him out there a lot doing a lot of off the cuff things. Everything is scripted that he is doing because he cannot go off script because his reputation is still tenuous while they're still going through this divorce. Because there's a lot that neither one of them probably want leaked out there, which is a shame. I mean, Brad Pitt, now Jonah Hill, like two people destroyed one of my favorite movies, Money Ball. Okay, now for this next affair, which is going to be the last affair, I'm going into the political realm and focusing on a governor of New York. Which governor of New York? I don't know. It's like a head scratcher. Right? But let's settle on Governor Elliot Spitzer. Now, he was sworn into office in 2007, and he came in hot to that position. He wanted everyone to know. It was like a take no prisoners approach. Approach. I saw a quote from him. He was telling this to a New York State assembly member. Quote, listen, I'm an effing steamroller and I'll roll over you and anybody else. Okay? You getting a sense of this guy now? I remember reading the New York tabloids back then. So I was fascinated by Spitzer. And I was just as fascinated when it was revealed that he had been conducting these clandestine tris over several years with women who worked for a service. What type of service? Like a call service? Like a prostitution service. So he was outed. And do you remember what the girl's name is? This is a very interesting fact. Ashley Alexandra Dupree, which, if memory serves, I did not Google this, but I'm going back in time. I don't think that's her real name. Do you think It's a great name. But the New York City tabloids went wild. I think I read the New York Post every single day when this happened. And Dupree got her own column, so she leveraged the heck out of this. So why not? Go girl. So Spitzer had to resign shortly after these revelations. And do you remember him at the press conference with his wife Silda, standing behind like the Good Wife. Silda inspired the television show Juliana Margulies, CBS the Good Wife. Now, when Spitzer had to resign, he needed to come out with, you know, a press statement Again, you know, like Tiger woods, he was bound by something. His reputation mattered. He couldn't just walk away from this because one, his ego needed to come back in some capacity. So he needed to put everything on the record. He needed to publicly atone, which is what he did. Which again, compared to Other celebrities, they'll try and wriggle out of it. Now, when he resigned, he apologized to his family, he apologized to the public. He talked about having private feelings. Does this sound familiar? Does it sound like Tiger Woods? I guarantee you, when his team was putting together a statement for Tiger woods, yeah, they were researching this speech, without a doubt, this resignation speech. Speech. So he expressed remorse for betraying the trust of his constituents and his colleagues and said he hoped to, just like Tiger woods, earn their forgiveness. And he was succeeded by Lieutenant Governor David Patterson in 2008. Elliot Spitzer, he was on CNN for a while. He ran again for office. He's now pretty much a private citizen. But that was a scandal again, that forced someone to come into the public, into the spotlight and publicly atone for it and admit what happened. Now, here's the fun fact. Side note. Ashley Dupre, who was the woman who Elliot Spitzer had a tryst with. And if you remember, he always had to wear the socks. Client number nine. She is the stepmother of Alex Earl. Is that name familiar? She is this huge TikTok influencer. She has over 5.6 million followers. She just gave huge scholarship to the University of Miami. I mean, this girl's huge. How did she get so big? How does she know how to become famous? I don't know. I'm thinking that her mom, her stepmother, I should. Her mom actually is quite cute. But her mom was the collateral damage in her father's affair with Ashley Dupree, and now she's Alex Earl's stepmother. Full circle. So now let's come back to TikTok and Ethan Slater. Ethan Slater, because we are now dealing with celebrity infidelity in 2023. It's a lot different than it was in the Tiger Woods, Elliot Spitzer, Anthony Weiner days. Even Arnold Schwarzenegger, he sat on the affair with his housekeeper that resulted in the birth of his son Joseph, who's the same age as his son Patrick. It took Arnold Schwarzenegger years to really come out and start talking about it. I mean, he admitted to it. He didn't deny it, but he talked about a certain shame, you know, in 2023. So we're becoming, even though we're still post cancel culture, we are also becoming a more forgiving culture. I mean, now in 2023, we may still see celebrities denying affairs, but we also hear of celebrities admitting to them. I was tagged by a number of people when country singer Jimmy Allen publicly apologized to his estranged wife who was pregnant, and he, quote, apologized for humiliating her with My affair, end quote. He apologized to his children for being a, quote, poor example of a man and a father, end quote. And he was working on becoming a better person. He also threw a little shade about how he was raised. So it was a way that he brought in his father and that he just was a product of his father's behavior, which I thought was interesting. It was a level of transparency and honesty that kind of helped his message here. Now, one thing he did not address was the sexual assault allegations that were made by his former manager, who did sue him for an alleged assault and sexual abuse. So he claimed that he did have a consensual sexual relationship with the former manager, but denied, you know, any claims of assault or abuse. But that was the last one that I could remember where they really came out and admitted it and got through it. So there's something there, isn't there, about admitting to an affair. But it's also understandable why someone wouldn't. Ethan Slater, whose job, whose role in the film might be sitting in the balance right now. Producers are probably looking at, if we have to get rid of them, if more is revealed, which likely not. It's likely Ariana was just like a one thing there, that he had been faithful to his wife. That's what most people would think, but what would be the consequence? So I think he's going to sit on it for a while. He's probably talking with lawyers and trying to figure out what to do. Now, what do you do when you are caught in these types of affairs, you know, when you are a celebrity? So let's look at it from the celebrity point of view. And if there are people out here that could, I don't know, see this as advice for themselves, well, go forth and do that if it helps repair relationships, particularly to the people that you hurt. All right, One, what you could do is a Jimmy Allen just acknowledge the situation. A celebrity is not ignoring the situation. If they do, it could lead to further speculation and damage, particularly if the allegations are true. Like, if you lie, you're going to be called out not only as a cheater, but you're also a liar, which is, I guess, inherent, but you don't want to add that on top of it. So it's good to own up to these actions. You want to do it promptly, you want to do it sincerely, like Ethan Slater. Right now, if I were his advisor, I would tell him just to admit it. Now, he's probably hasn't said anything because he's probably still in a relationship with Ariana Grande. So, like, you know what? The damage is already out there. I might as well enjoy this. But he has a window right now. He absolutely has a window of forgiveness. The film is not being recorded. Production is on hold. He could admit, like, oh, my gosh, I had a lapse in judgment because of Ariana Grande's past. People know, this is what she does. This is what she does. She breaks up relationships. He could go back. He totally would get a pass. But he hasn't done it yet. So that would be own it. And if you know my indestructible PR framework, own it. Explain it. Promise. It definitely falls under step one, which is own it. This one falls under it as well, which is apologizing publicly and privately. You acknowledge a situation. A sincere, heartfelt apology is in order. You don't do the Brad Pitt and say, what? What's everyone looking at? No, no, it's all good. Everything's fine. No, my wife is just a snore. So the apology should be directed towards those directly affected, like the wife. You have to admit the wife's name. You have to address what you did wrong. You want to talk about the shame that's also been put on your partner as well. Avoid at all costs justifications. Brad Pitt. Focus on expressing your remorse and commitment to learning from the situation. Okay, so that's step one, step two, and step three, all in one step there. You want to take responsibility. Take full responsibility for these actions. Do not blame others. Do not pass the buck. Do not minimize the issue. Brad Pitt. Also, you can admit this is in the promise stage, that you're going to seek professional help. You're going to work with a counselor, with a therapist, because it's a personal crisis. That's an out. It's not a full out, but you can admit it was a personal crisis. People have affairs. It's happened. It's not new in Hollywood. Certainly it shows a commitment to their growth and to the understanding and the reasons behind the actions. Like, again, like Brad Pitt pit. People can see Angelina Jolie breaking up that marriage. He could have gone this way. He didn't, but, God, it paid off for him. Right? It's probably not a really good example. Also, lay low for a while. We'll also call this a Brad pit. After you address the issue, you step out of the limelight. You can keep working because people still want to see you in movies, but you're not going to be a publicity. You're not going to be out there all the time. You're not Going be on social media like, you know, doing Instagram posts and lives. No, you're just going to keep it strictly professional. You're going to engage in these restorative actions. You're going to do things that are going to restore your image. Community service, donations, public works. You want to show your atonement. And if you can make it public, don't pander, don't make it obvious, but show that you really mean it. You know, you are trying to reconcile something that you did and you want to seek forgiveness. Then you can have. Celebrities can have this gradual return into public life. They'll start with like smaller, more low profile engagements like Casey Affleck Oppenheimer. No publicity whatsoever that Casey Affleck is in this movie. Now, he didn't just have an affair though, he was accused of having an affair. He was accused of sexual assault. But Christopher Nolan gave Casey Affleck a pass to let him come back into acting and did it with a huge blockbuster movie. And can I tell you, it's pretty smart. It was pretty smart. How do you bring back someone who's been accused of sexual assault? You do this. You do this. I'm not forgiving Casey Affleck, but the guy won an Oscar for goodness sake, for Manchester by the seat. He needed to come back. I mean, Hollywood felt like we got to get this guy back. How are we going to get him back? I know you slide him into a blockbuster and Barbie's going to win the war of the two and geez, brilliant. All right. And then you also. They're going to maintain consistency. So they want to be consistent in their actions. So if you are a Casey Affleck, if you are Ben Affleck, you know, if you are a Brad Pitt, if you are a Tiger woods, you know, whatever it is, you want to be consistent in what you're doing. Are you giving back? You know, are you serving? Are you doing something that's for the greater good? You don't want to do a one and done. You want to be someone who looks like you've absolutely made that change. And then the last factor, which I'm now putting out there publicly, that I think is one of the most critical factors in the rehabilitation of a reputation during a crisis, particularly after a crisis. And that is time. People forgive, people forget people for lack of a. I don't want to sound crude about it, but people eventually don't live long when time happens, when these stories happen, new kids are born, they grow up Tiger woods to a lot of Gen Z, right? Now he's just a golfer. He's not a golfer who had a golf club thrown at him at his window. He's just a golfer. Now granted, Tiger woods last relationship ended rather messy. But Arnold Schwarzenegger again, the affair, the reveal with the housekeeper, that was years ago. Now he's coming out a new show on Netflix, and he's still been Arnold Schwarzenegger. I mean, he was a governor. He just got out of the limelight. People certainly knew he was there. He was certainly doing things. He was with his family, but he was just trying to be a family man. And then now he's coming back into the industry. All right, in every episode, I leave you with one easy to remember takeaway to help you build that indestructible reputation. And here it is. Remember regular people who are listening to this podcast, when it comes to the messy, messy, messy, messy, unforgiving world, painful world of affairs, don't use the playbook of a celebrity. Don't Google Brad Pitt. Don't google Tiger woods and figure out what am I going to do? Many of you don't have money to fall back on. Many of you don't have reputation to fall back on. The pain isn't with your fans. The pain is with your family and your partner or your spouse. That's all for this week on the podcast. Thanks so much for listening. Bye for now.