57: How to Behave on a Plane Without Driving People Insane

It's Thanksgiving week in the us a time of year when people plan the turkey and plan their travel leading up to the holidays. And I can't overlook that group of poor souls out there who still have a lot of work travel to squeeze in over the next few weeks because of the companies they work for or do business with need to fill those end of the year workshops and talks and put them into their 2019 budget hand raise. I still have six more gigs to go before I ring in the New Year. Most people getting from here to there have to do it on an airplane and that's where I was about 4 hours ago on a plane home from delivering a workshop. The return was smooth, the departure not so much. So this week on the Confident communications podcast, some tips 10 tips for how to Travel with Ease or how to travel so people don't hate you. Take a listen. Hey there. Welcome back to the Confident Communications Podcast. I'm your host Molly McPherson. This week I am offering tips for traveling with ease in the air. I travel a lot. A lot as in hey Molly, welcome back to Logan Airport a lot. So I wanted to share air travel tips for the road warriors out there as well as the rarely flyers to help make air travel a little easier for everyone. And you may note if you've listened to me long enough on this podcast that it will sound like a thinly veiled rant of all the things that annoy the crap out of me when I travel. Now I need to come off the title in the intro just a little. I'm not going to say the things that will make people hate you. I'll call it how to Behave on a Plane Without Driving People Insane. And I've been with some of the best and worst travelers as evidenced on my last trip that ended this morning. I do travel a lot and on the way to my destination I'll just say this was in Mobile, Alabama. I had two flights and both were kind of rocky. One it started off because I had to quickly get to the airport in a rainy slash ice storm and that's not easy to do. So I don't even know how I made my flight but I got there. But it's when I am in a hurry is when I notice the offenders the most because my patience isn't necessarily filled to the cup, if you know what I mean. So I wanted to use this episode to highlight the top 10 tips for helping make air traveler just a little bit easier and a little bit more friendly and also will help me if we happen to come across each other on an airplane. So we're gonna talk about some of the don'ts when it comes to air travel. And there is a reason why so many of these viral videos that you see pop up online that they happen on airplanes because people let their guard down and they're not always on their best behavior, as I notice. So here we go. Number one, do not travel when you are sick. I know it's tempting. You have a meeting to get to and you feel like it's a non negotiable, you have to go. But people don't want to sit next to sick people. Now this is number one because it goes way back to when I was working in the cruise line industry and many people didn't like paying for travel insurance and they kept traveling and cruising when they were sick. But back in 2002, when I was the director of communications for the International Council Cruise Line, now known as CLIA, the Cruise Line International association out of Washington D.C. if you remember, way back in 2002, 2, it was the first time that everyone became acquainted with viruses on cruise ships. It's when the norovirus was spreading through all the cruise ships. So it was a bad time to sail on the Dizzy Magic. But it was a magical time if you worked in communications and you wanted to get a taste of crisis communications. Now the cruise lines at the time we were trying to waylay the norovirus that was spreading like wildfire, or I guess it was spreading like a virus, I suppose spreading like a viral video. At the time we didn't have those. But if you remember back then, everyone was touched by this virus and I was on weekly calls with the cdc. I don't wanna get too off track here, but the virus would start off up in Alaska and would start there in, you know, in the late summer when it was starting to get cool there and then would work its way down to the US and that holiday season almost everyone I knew was getting that norovirus. And as an aside, on the CDC call I asked, I said, how can I not get this virus? Because everyone in my office was sick too. And that's the first time I heard about acidophilus and probiotics, that if you take that when you travel that you shouldn't get sick. And knock on wood, I have not had a virus since 2002 when the CDC told me about it because I take probiotics all the time. But anyway, I spent my days on the phone conducting interviews about taking precautions while trying to frame this virus Crisis. Oh, that's such a great term. I should have used that back then anyway. But I was trying to frame it off the cruise lines and quietly where it belongs with the airline industry, because that's where the virus really started. I can say this now on the record, because now I'm just a podcaster and I don't work with them anymore. But. But that was the problem. People weren't getting infected on cruise ships. They were getting sick at home because the virus was everywhere. They were getting on airplanes sick, and then they were boarding the cruise ships. Now, people did get sick on the cruise ships, but the intel from my contacts on the cruise ship said that people were vomiting in line or as soon as they boarded the cruise ship. And one awful story, so I'll just say it allegedly happened that someone told me that they watched someone go through the buffet, step outside of the buffet line, vomit in the corner of the restaurant, and then come back in line without washing their hands. Ugh. Anyway, my point is this. Don't travel when you're sick. A lot of the times it was happening on airplanes. And when I was researching the year that this was happening, I found a quote on CNN from yours truly, where I said, what we're stressing to passengers is, number one, don't cancel your cruise. Because of course, we don't want people to cancel cruise lines, their cruise ship. And if you're think thinking about taking a cruise, go ahead, but wash your hands. Simple hygiene will stop this virus, which was true. We were just trying to get people to wash their hands. So if you travel sick, don't if you have to. Remember, an airplane's like a petri dish for all your germs. If you have to, you know, wear a mask or bring hand sanitizer with you. But try not to travel when you're sick. All right, next, and this is a biggie of mine. Last week in my best of episode, I mentioned Laura Worry discussing triggers at work. Well, triggers can happen everywhere and they happen on flights with me all the time. My biggest de boarding in airplane, the deplaning process. My number one pet peeve when travel are the people who rush from the back of the plane to try and get off first. Because it's another way of saying that, hey, I'm more important than everyone else on this plane, so I have to get off first. The problem is that when you feel that you are more important than everyone else, you're going to cause a huge traffic jam and then it's going to take longer for Everyone to get off. So just be patient and wait your turn. I know there are times when people need to catch a flight because of a tight connection, but think about it. The airlines now are set up with a lot of connecting flights. There's a lot of people going out of hubs like Atlanta, Minneapolis, or Chicago. So many people are making connecting flights when it's really tight and you have to step aside is when a flight attendant makes that announcement, to step aside. Because those are important flights, probably international flights. But for the most part, people patiently wait your turn to exit your seats when you deport the plane. Here's the protocol. Everyone exits row by row, and you let one entire row go, and then you grab your bags from the overhead. Ben. All right. Conversely, don't line up for your boarding group before you're called to get on the flight. For some reason, people tend to get super antsy when they get on the plane. Isn't that ironic? Everyone's antsy to get off the plane, and they're also really antsy to get on the plane. No one is going to take your seat unless it's Southwest Airlines, which I don't fly for that reason. But when you rush to the gate, you're also creating another traffic jam. And now I'm going to say this here. The worst offenders for both of these are guys. I'm sorry, on principle, I do not like to generalize. But guys, you are the worst offenders. The worst. When I am sitting, waiting to deplane, when my eyes have to gaze at someone's midsection who has already stood up with their bags already in their hands, it's always a guy. So I'm always staring at the guy's midsection. This morning, in fact, a guy, late 50s, early 60s, with his blue plaid blazer, his khaki pants, his Orvis briefcase, you know, the guy had to jump up right in front of me, and I couldn't move because this guy had to get somewhere. And it's always the same guy. And he had to get off that plane. And who do you think passed them walking at normal speed by the time we reach the gate into the airport? Me. He wasn't even in a hurry. He just had to get up and he had to leave, and he had to grab all his bags before everyone else. Now, for my male listeners, and I know I have a lot of them, I know you're there, and I know what you're thinking, well, who the heck is she to call me out like that and say that I'm like, everyone okay, maybe not, because here's my theory. You know, guys are great. They are. But I think it's the anonymity in travel that causes people to let their guard down. And just by human nature, males get to be a little more aggressive. So it's like, literally, it's every man for himself. No one can out them for being a jerk on the plane if they travel by themselves. So they just kind of, like, let their guard down. But it's just a theory. As a side note, I've related this theory with guys I know, and they all think I'm nuts and they think it's a rather bitchy theory. So there you have it. Now, appended disclaimer here. Not all men behave this way. There have been plenty that step aside or they'll step aside when they see me giving them the crusty eye, or they'll asked to bring my bags down. So there are great guys out there. I see you. I know you. But there are plenty of other ones, if you know what I'm talking about. So again, just be mindful of the protocol. Next, headphones. Now, I noticed on my Delta flight this morning that when the flight attendants were announcing that they were coming down the aisles with drinks, they asked passengers to have their headphones out of their ears and your order ready. It sounds like a policy that I would create or announce on a flight. I can imagine how frustrating it must be. If you're a flight attendant, you have to wave your hands in front of people to say, I'm here to take your order, like, I'm here with my drink cart. Obviously, I'm here to take your order. We all use headphones, but you don't need to have them on during the de planing process because that's the time when people are speaking to each other. And more important, the flight attendants are trying to get everything organized. And when they're trying to cut through a headphone, it makes it very difficult. Or have you ever been on a flight where you're sitting next to someone who's entertaining themselves on a smartphone, an iPhone, an iPad, where the sound is up and they're not using a headphone? Yeah, that's not cool. That's definitely happened to me as well. So respect other travelers. Definitely wear your headphones when you need them, but in the boarding process, you might want to take them off. Now. Just as a side note, a thought. On headphones, I used to wear them all, all the time on planes. It was a great time to catch up on podcasts. But now I Don't as much, because I find, and I've mentioned this before on the podcast, that I meet more people when I have my headphones out. And I've. I've met very interesting people. I've gotten business that way. I've had a person recognize me from the podcast on an airplane because I wasn't wearing my headphones. So I can't enlarge my ego if I'm wearing headphones all the time. So it's more of a thought or a suggestion rather than a rant. Next, be kind to others. People's senses, their noses. Not too much perfume, not too much cologne. Make sure that you're showered. I understand that people want to smell nice, but too much cologne or perfume can be overwhelming on a crowded flight, and some people are highly sensitive to scents. And at the other end of the spectrum, be sure to add a shower deodorant to your morning routine when you're traveling. Your seatmate, and that seatmate might be me, will thank you. All right, next, do not talk to the person behind you or across from you in the aisle or like this on a flight. A few years ago, I was seated in between a family of five. I was leaving Boston, and I feel like it was around spring break time, and it was a family. I think I was going to Colorado, Denver or something. Maybe they were skiing. It was the dad, me in the middle seat, and then the mom, and then the kids behind us, the obnoxious kids behind us, which is why I wasn't surprised that the parents wanted to sit in the row in front of them now, right away, I asked, hey, would you two like to sit together? And both of them said, no. And I thought, all right, it's annoying, but I'm going to let it pass because maybe these two will just sit and they want to be apart anyway. Maybe they don't even want to sit next to each other. Well, not the case. They discussed the trip, their life. The kids threw me the entire flight. Now, at one point, I did ask them if they wanted nicely, if they wanted to move. Since they were discussing. They said, no, no, no, no, no, no. But then they started arguing, and that's when I remember I ripped my headphones out, so I was wearing cords at the time. And I told them I put my hand up on both sides and I said, stop. Either move or stop arguing. The flight attendant, I remember, his eyes popped out of his head when he saw me do that, and he gave me, like, a virtual high five. So don't do that now. I've been guilty of this. I remember on a flight from Atlanta to Reno, I was sitting next to a colleague and we were both in first class, which means, yeah, libations. So we were having a work talk, and it was a loud one, and I know it was so annoying. So anyone that remembers that flight to Reno, I apologize for that. So guilty as charged. Also, when you're sitting there, be nice. Say hello to your seatmate. When you sit down, you don't have to have a long conversation, but it's nice to know you never know who you're going to meet. So. And if you do know each other, keep your convo on low. Next, a common problem between passengers is that armrest problem. Who gets the armrest? Some people do it on a first arm, first serve basis. Guys, I'm looking at you there. But some of us do know that there is a proper etiquette for it. At least I assume some of us do, because I'm starting to notice it more that the person in the middle seat, they are entitled to both the left and the right armrest because the person that has the window seat obviously can lean towards the window. They can rest their head there, or the person in the aisle will at least have that aisle as well. So just give it to the middle person. It's bad enough that they're in the middle. Next, if you are speaking to someone or someone is sitting next to you and they give you every nonverbal indication that they do not want to speak with you, don't keep talking to them. Stop. Okay? Stop. Can you tell that this is one of my peeves? I'm a very friendly person. At least I think I am. And when I travel, I try to stay as friendly as possible. Though when people stand up and put their crotch in their face, then I become a little less friendly. But at any rate, I will chat with people. But there does come a time where you don't want to talk anymore. So if someone is giving you every indication, it's time just to stop. And I had mentioned before on the podcast that someone I was talking to, a millennial, said, well, I'm going to check out now, and then put on his headphones, which I thought was the classiest way to back out of a conversation, because I don't want to keep talking either. I was ready to stop and I thought it was wonderful. So I've used it now. All right, next tip. And I'm on number eight, don't be a bull in the china shop. And, you know, I'M talking about. It's the person who boards the plane with all their bags because I don't want to check any of the bags. And they usually have a backpack. And it's not a thin, small backpack that you might see on a 14 year old girl. It's a huge extended backpack and they wield it with abandon. It becomes like a weapon. So they're moving, they're rushing, they're pivot, they're trying to run around, trying to find overhead space. And every single person on board is getting hit in the face either from standing behind them or sitting in front of them. That happened to me on my flight from Atlanta to Mobile a couple days ago and it was a pain in the face. So take it off when you board a plane. Yes, I know it's a pain to grab your backpack and carry it because it's heavier, but you have to take it off anyway. And when you take it off, you are guaranteed to hit someone with your backpack. So just take it off when you come on the plane. This ties into the next tip number nine, the overheads. Don't be an overhead hog. The airlines do want you to get your bags up in the overhead and they will do whatever they can to get as many bags up there. So sometimes they will put the bags in bins that do not correspond with where the passenger is sitting because they want to do it as quickly as possible so the plane can take off on time. However, for the people who are boarding the plane and they'll take their bag and they'll shove it above a bin and then they'll keep walking. You know who I'm talking about. It may sound familiar. Don't do that. Put your bag above your seat so it's right there. Helps with the planning process, but also it's just not fair. You're taking someone's spot when you put your bag there. So next time that you are boarding a plane and you shove your bag above a seat and you keep walking a number of rows and when you come back, your bag is no longer there, guess what? I'm on your plane next. And here's my last tip. This is not on the plane, but still tied in to air travel. Escalators and walkways. As I mentioned in the beginning of the episode, I was cutting it a little tight on my outbound flight to Atlanta from Boston. And this is when I notice when people tend to clog escalators and moving walkways, the people who hold up the traffic. Now, the traffic rules in the airport are the Same as traffic. So on an escalator you should, for safety's sake, stand in the center of the step and face forward. However, but for protocol, you should scooch right on the escalator. Same as moving walkways. If you're a stationary passenger, stay to the right so you can let people walking to the left pass you. Now don't be a walkway hog and stay to the left and wait until someone comes behind you, till you hear them thumping behind you because you've already annoyed them. Well, down the walkway, just stay on the right. And even if you have to talk to the person, person, just talk to them in front of you or behind you. It's the same as people driving in the left hand lane like in traffic State of Minnesota in Massachusetts. I'm talking to you here. Move over. It's a passing lane, so when you're with the person, don't take the whole space. Go to the right. I remember over the summer when I was traveling and I was cruising down the walkway and I was walking by a lot of it was a group of millennials and when I came by they had said, wow, people in Boston really walk fast. I'm like, yeah, they do because they got places to and I'm going to send photos of some of the offenders from my trip this week in my weekly newsletter. And don't worry, they're cut off. No one would ever recognize them. But Guy in plaid jacket. There's a million guys that look like this when you travel. But if you want to see the photos, you can sign up for my weekly email where I share communication tips to help you become a better communicator. It's for leaders, executives, managers, business owners, entrepreneurs, anyone that wants to understand how to better communicate our act in the modern age. You can find the newsletter@mollymcpherson.com subscribe. I'll also include it in the show notes. Well, that's all for this week. Thank you for listening to the podcast and also for my rants. I mean tips for helping keep your travel easy as pie. As in Thanksgiving pie. I hope you all have a wonderful holiday weekend. For those of you in the US and you, thank thank you for listening. And remember, what you say and what you do on an airplane may end up online or part of a podcaster's rant because good and bad, everything is pr. Bye for now.