61: How to Write an Unforgettable Thank-You Note

The thank you note always expected but rarely received. Am I right? This week on the podcast how to Write an Unforgettable thank you Note. Did you have a mother who sat you down with a pen in hand and note cards nearby so you could write out thank you notes for gifts you received? Me either. I was always told I should do it, but I think a lot of people were like me in my childhood. And now you mean to do it, but you don't quite get around to it. But everyone knows you should. This episode I decided to record around the holidays when lots of people are getting gifts. It was also inspired by an article I read on HuffPo called the Do's and Don'ts of An Unforgettable thank you Note. Diane Gottsman, She's a contributor and she had written this article and it spoke to me. So it's some quick do's and don'ts that I will also discuss now. Should you write a thank you note? Well, of course. And they should always be handwritten because a handwritten note is so important, especially in the digital age. It's a little extra personalization that shows you appreciate a gift or an effort and it helps us keep that human connection in our lives. And since it's such a lost art, I want to give you some tips on drafting your own thank you notes this holiday season. Now you may want to have a list handy so you can batch your notes and get them all done at once. I know it's hard to find the time, but writing all your thank you notes at once gets the task out of the way. You can write them on your next business trip while you're on the plane or maybe on a movie night with your family. So have your list handy so you know who you are thanking and for what, their addresses. And of course your note cards are stationary. There was another timeliness angle to this episode recently. I was in Arkansas for work and I was in Little Rock. And when in Little Rock, you go to the Clinton Library, the President Bill Clinton library. And I was there on the day I was leaving and I had to go there. Whenever I travel to a town where there's a presidential library, you'll find me there. One of the things that I know well, there are many things that I noticed. One, no surprise, there was absolutely no mention of Monica Lewinsky. Two, there was a 90s exhibit there. And as I was walking through the 90s exhibit, which was fabulous by the way, being a Gen Xer, I was looking at the wall that had Elmo and As I was looking at Elmo, I got the notification that Big Bird and Oscar the Grouch had passed. Okay, well, it was a person who voiced them and the puppeteer, Carol Spinney. But still, it was an unusual passing to have happen as I was looking at a Sesame street exhibit. But the other thing I noticed on display were the thank you notes for the people who had written President Clinton or Hillary Clinton. And I tried to read a lot of them and some I couldn't because the handwriting, the penmanship was one step off of a serial killer penmanship. You know what I'm talking about. Some people had very good penmanship, like totally random Tony Danzo. And I think Queen Noor also had good penmanship. I noticed that John Kennedy. So John Jr. He had written a thank you note. But what I had noticed on his, one, it was typed. But two, he was apologizing for the delay in writing the note. Someone else I had very bad penmanship was Kathryn Graham. I wanted to read every word that she had in her thank you note, but I couldn't read it. But at any rate, the art of the thank you note, if you're a president, you visit the president, you write him a thank you note. But also anyone that you visit or anyone that has given you a gift, a wedding, a special occasion, your kids are graduating from high school or from college, you want to be in the habit of writing thank you notes. People notice, especially in the digital age. So here are the steps. One, you want to personalize your greeting. Every note should be addressed to the recipient by name. Dear Uncle John, dear Grandma K. Know who you're sending the note to. It's a personal touch and people will notice. Next, be thankful. Any thank you note should express thanks, gratitude, having your day made open with a statement like I so appreciate or I'm grateful for or it really made my day work. When? Next, be specific. What exactly are you thanking Aunt sue for? Was it a gift? Her time, A meal? Remind her what it is you're thankful for. And be specific. At the Clinton library, when I was reading the thank you notes and yes, I read all of the thank you notes that they had on display, everyone was thanking them for an event that they attended or just thanking him for being president. Paul Anka was another one that wrote a thank you note. Whoopi Goldberg was another person that wrote a thank you note and just for no particular reason other than to show their support. Next, you want to add details. You've addressed what you're thankful for. Now add some details. So you can demonstrate how much that gift means to you or how much you appreciate the time that Aunt sue took to help you with something. Especially if you have a student, a child who is writing a thank you note for teachers who are writing letters of recommendation. Recently when I was on the plane down to Arkansas I had my 17 year old daughter call me because she wanted to know what type of gifts she should be giving her teachers because she goes to a school where people give very very expensive gifts and I was trying to tell her before the plane took off that it would be slight, inappropriate and uncomfortable for a teacher to receive a gift, an expensive gift from a 17 year old who when they know they don't have a lot of money. She didn't quite see it that way. So I apparently was speaking maybe at a level higher than I normally do on a plane and a woman two seats down who is a teacher in Chicago said I couldn't help but overhear. No kidding. You talked to your daughter and she said I wanted to get your attention and tell you that the best gift was would be a thank you note of gratitude telling the teacher how much that letter meant to them or to thank them for teaching and which is true. My daughter didn't believe it, but still it's true. Next look ahead to the future. When is the next time you'll see the person or think about the person who gave you the gift? Let them know I'll think about you every time I sign a new contract with this brand new pen. I hope you'll consider volunteering for the next event or I will let you know what I thought about the book in case you'd like to read it now. Next. It's a nice little touch. And then in the end thank them again. Doesn't need to be elaborate. A simple thank you for X will suffice. And then give your regards. Sign off your note with your closing of choice. Sincerely, Warm regards Love, yours truly, XO Whatever works for the nature of your relationship. Now from the article that I mentioned earlier it is in HuffPo and it's by Diane Gottsman and she's a contributor and this was posted in 2016 and I'll include the link. She had published this the first week of New Year's and she's relating about the New year. New reason to write a lot of thank you notes and she talks about the do's and the don'ts and I loved all of them. Here are some of the do's. 1. Do use stationery that fits your style. You don't want to scribble words on a piece of paper that won't transform your sentiments into a proper thank you note. That's what she's saying, which I completely agree. You should purchase for yourself. Written stationery. I use minted.com to get my stationery. You could just go to even a Walmart or a Target and grab something but make it signature. You don't have to have your name on it, but a signature stationery. It's like what would come from your desk or from your office. Next, create a rough draft. Definitely do this. It's just a waste of paper. If your first draft is your final draft, do it on a computer, do the spell check and then read as you write. Next, do write in your own voice. I don't know if you're like me, but when I write I tend to speak out loud and type as I go because that's how I type in my voice. Like I literally type in my voice. You should do the same thing with a thank you note. That's how a thank you note is easy to write when you just speak it. Think about what you would say if a person walked up to you off the street and you wanted to thank them and then just transcribe it down. Do handwrite your message. It's much better to have a handwritten note than something that's pre printed on a card or something that you're going to type digitally and you can identify the gift or act of kindness. So definitely take a moment to write a note. If someone does go out of their way or do something unique in their life, that's a nice sweet little one, two punch if you give and a happy punch if you were to follow up with a thank you note shows a little bit of special care. Now some of the don'ts one you don't want to over embellish. Sometimes it is a struggle to find the words when the gift that you received may not be your favorite. So you have to kind of wordsmith or try to come up with clever writing. But you can do it. But you don't need to do it too much. Next, you don't want to get off topic. You may want to start running off on other other directions in your thank you note. Just keep it simple and keep it at the task at hand. Don't let too many people work too hard reading your thank you note. If they did give you money, you don't want to mention a monetary amount. If someone gave you $20 or someone gave your child $20 as a gift. If you emphasize the dollar amount to highlight the person's generosity, it could look like it's not enough. Or two Note. You just don't know how it's been received. But you could tell them. Thank you for the gift certificate to the day spa. You don't have to say for the $50 gift certificate to the day spa. Next. Don't equate the value of a text message with a handwritten note. It is true a text message is thoughtful. At least you're not letting something just hang out there. But a text message? That's what you send to someone when you're five minutes late, not when you want to show gratitude. And the last one? We'll call this the John F. Kennedy Jr. Rule. Don't wait too long. Send a thank you note within a week of receiving the gift or attending the event, whatever it is. 24 to 48 hours. But don't let a few days or even weeks what John Jr did stop you from writing, even if it's late. Better late than never. So that's it for this week's edition of the podcast. I hope you enjoy your upcoming holidays, and if you get a special gift, why not write a thank you note? And speaking of writing, I want to encourage you to head on over to my website, mollymcpherson.com podcast and let me know if there's a topic that you would like me to talk about. Anything that has to do with communications, writing, speaking, public relations, social media, crisis management. Anything that could help you become a more effective communicator and build trust and build goodwill with your customers, your employees, and the people close to you. So thanks for listening and I hope you have a wonderful holiday. Bye for now. Sam.