71: 6 Secrets for Starting a Conversation with Anyone

Hello, Nice to meet you. Tell me, do you think all relationships begin with a conversation? The conversation starter it serves as the foundation of your future connection with the person. Whether it is a brief exchange at a networking event or the start of a beautiful friendship, I think we can all agree it's important to land that first sentence when you meet a person. This week on the podcast, I'm sharing six secrets for starting a conversation with anyone. Hello there. I'm Molly McPherson and I am the host of this podcast. My goal is to offer communication, leadership and public relations advice to help listeners become more confident in their communications. It's nice to meet you. I love your shoes, by the way. The Conversation Starter now, where is your confidence when it comes to initiating a conversation with someone? Can you do it with ease, almost on autopilot? Or do you freeze and wonder what you can say to this person without sounding like a dope? Or are you someone that attends a lot of work events and you put a lot of mental energy into wondering how you're going to start a conversation of these Are you a blurter who immediately regrets what you said and your inner dialogue is telling you, now, why the heck did I say that? In business, how do you navigate a conference where your primary activity is to mingle? Do you know the art of schmoozing? Well, it all starts with the opener. When you lock eyes with a person striding towards you, you know someone must say something. Are you someone who struggles with how to start a conversation with a member of the opposite sex without giving them the wrong idea? Or a person from the same gender who may not read your true intentions? Do you really want to know about the weather? Well, maybe yes. There are a number of conversation prompts and I could record a year's worth of podcasts with ideas. But the list I want to provide today, well, it's my tried and true. These are the prompts that work like a charm and is the secret, I believe, for starting a conversation that will lead to memorable conversations. The list of six Here we go. The first one it's my go to compliment the person's apparel, outfit or accessories. No one, and I mean no one, is going to dismiss a person who compliments an outfit. Love the tie. That jacket is a wonderful color on you. This dress, I love it. Do you get a sense of what it's like to meet me in person? Most people like it when other people appreciate their taste, so they will likely engage with you. It's a no fail. Now here's a warning. Please heed it you must be sincere. If you are looking at the worst hairstyle you've ever seen, chances are they know it's a bad hairstyle as well. Don't pick the first attribute you notice and go with it. Many a person has stumbled into an awkward conversation starter when they've done that. Also, don't comment on beautiful eyes or their teeth. It's creepier than it sounds. The exception here is again, the hair. If someone has recently changed their hairstyle or has recently had a dramatic haircut, it's fine to compliment it. But if you notice, notice that someone is starting to color their hair to remove the gray. Best keep that comment to yourself. Number two and this one is gold Praise the person's work. Now this works when you're wondering what to say to a speaker that you run into that spoke earlier in the day, or your favorite podcast host, or a celebrity, or someone prominent in your industry or your organization, or someone you've just always wanted to speak to. No one again has ever been insulted by someone saying I really loved your thoughts on this matter. Or I thought your talk was thought provoking and well researched. Now, some caveats don't overly fawn, and don't make the mistake of negating the praise with an insult. I thought your last piece was much better. Or when you spoke at the town meeting last year, I thought it was a little more effective. Next Number three I do this one all the time. Slide in with Sports, the town or the weather. If you observe a person wearing sports march, what do you do? Me? I always make a comment because I know anyone can handle an opening when it comes to their team. Because if someone's wearing a T shirt, especially if it's an adult wearing a sports T shirt, they can have a conversation. Many a conversation was started by me when I saw someone wearing a Minnesota Twins hat in my travels or a Yankee shirt. Boo. And imagine the possibilities of striking up a conversation with someone wearing a Houston Astros baseball cap or jersey. That would be an interesting starter. But people like talking about their hometowns. Well, if they like it, they'll also talk about it. If they didn't like it, they also like to talk about where they live. Now, if they've moved, it always leads to the start of connecting dots that can move the conversation along quite nicely. You can also start with the weather, for instance. It gives you plenty of opportunity for further exploration. Oh, did you grow up in a warm weather location? Did you grow up in the South? People can connect dots easily if you give them a geographic Point to start. Because people tend to know people from a lot of different places. Because then you can say, have you ever visited this place? Or I have a friend who graduated from a college in so and so. Now. The caveat, don't diss the place when I mention I grew up in St. Paul, Minnesota. Nine times out of 10, someone will tell me how cold it is or ask, is it as cold as it seems? I never want to live there. Ugh. Or they'll comment on the Fargo accent. When they do, either I'm out. Next, number four, Ask for assistance or information. Excuse me, do you know where the Tennessee hall is located? Have they called Comfort plus yet? The trick, even if you already know the answer, asking for information can be a wonderful way to start someone talking with you about anything because everyone likes to feel helpful. I'll add a 4B in here. Offer assistance. If you see someone who is confused or lost or they're looking at their phone and looking up, then ask them if they need help. People need help. Sometimes they don't want it, but if they want it, they'll start a conversation with you. All right, here we go. Number five, what's your story? I know, right? It's an engaging conversation starter because it sets someone back on their heels. But it's not insulting, it's inquisitive. People want to tell stories about themselves. So depending on where you are, you can ask the person, like, what brought you here? Why are you here? Are you from here originally? Or what's your story? Because you never know what they're going to tell you. Now, five leads in nicely to six. Tell me more about yourself. Now, this is a choice intro because it invites the other person to tell you something that they want to share. If they want to tell you about their job, they will. If they want to tell you about their kids, they can. And it's a crafty way to get intel about anything or that person, which I love, by the way, because I've had more people tell me stories about themselves. And let's just say these are stories that stay with me, if you know what I mean, because it is my secret power. I can get anyone to tell me anything about anything. Now, I don't use it for espionage. I don't use it for blackmail. I do it because I love good stories. I love one of a kind stories because they start interesting conversations that I find intriguing, and it tells me more about the person because I love meeting people. Because you never know when you're going to run into that person. Again, or how you can help a person, or how they can help you. Now, I know I said I had a list of six secrets. I could have said seven, but that would have been disingenuous because I don't use this one often. But it's still a good one. So let's just call it the Outlier. Simply introduce yourself. So this one doesn't work in every setting, and I'm thinking it's a little creepy on a plane. Many people fly in the comfort of implied anonymity, so they don't want to give out their name freely. But if you truly can't come up with any other conversational hello, try the direct approach. Just walk up to the person, stick out your hand, and say, hi, I'm so and so. I just wanted to introduce myself. Or. Or don't use your hand, since we have the coronavirus everywhere. But the fact that you go out of your way to meet a person will make the other person who received the greeting feel that much more important and will likely make the person want to talk to you as well. Or run away screaming because you freaked them out. But chances are they'll like it. So there you have it. The six secrets for starting a conversation from my toolkit and one more that you can use. That's all for this week. If you want to continue our conversation, you can follow me on Twitter Molly McPherson tell me your Go to Conversation Starter. I'll have a Starter tweet on Twitter. Thanks so much for listening. Bye for now. It.