95: How to Politely Ask People to Wear a Mask

I think we can all agree that pandemic etiquette can be awkward. On the one hand, you care about the health and safety of people and strongly believe that they should comply with the rules to ensure the well being of the public. Conversely, it can be prickly to suggest to others to follow the guidelines and rules in a business or a home setting. When it comes to wearing masks, no one wants to be rude, but no one wants to be felled by this virus either. On the podcast this week, how to politely ask people to wear a mask. People are social beings who not only thrive on interactions with others, but rely on it daily. Whether it's a conversation or a business interaction, people like people. However, with all the chaos and fear that this COVID 19 has brought into our lives earlier this year, people are missing these interactions. Our typical social norms have gone sideways. The rules for interacting during a pandemic are complicated. Common sense has been invaded by a motley set of rules by others who believe that they have a right not to wear a mask. Or they may have a disease that forbids them from wearing a mask. Or some people, close friends, they're stepping into your home and they don't have a mask. Do you ask them to put on a mask or not? A lot of people are skeptical about masks, I mean, due to the early position of the CDC and out of the White House. But for others, it's a matter of personal rights. So the feelings range from irritating to awkward as it relates to asking people to adhere by a mask rule. Now, I had a friend visiting from out of town last night, and before they could pass the threshold of the house, the mask issue needed to be addressed. To wear one or not to wear one. So today on the podcast, I want to give three easy ways to manage the enforcement of the rules for wearing masks in a business or a home setting to prevent the spread of the virus without being awkward. Now, first you need to find that sweet spot between awkwardness, politeness, and public health. So in other words, when you're faced with this mask conundrum, asking a person to wear a mask or not, you have to decide first. Is this the hill you're going to die on? And in most cases, the answer is yes. Because if people do not comply with wearing a mask, people may actually die on a hill, or in their home or in the hospital. So if you are the person making the rules, it could be very dangerous to bend them for some and not for others. In some situations, but not for other situations. For many people who do not personally know anyone who has had the virus. They may not realize how deadly this virus is, and that is understandable. But when you've met someone who's had the virus, you can see truly how agonizing it is and how debilitating it is. And that's if they survive it. So knowing how sick people can become from the coronavirus, it's understandable that people may become lax on enforcement if they haven't been faced with it yet, if they haven't seen it face to face. But according to the World Health organization, as of August 2020, there have been over 5 million reported cases in the US and over 167,000 deaths. That's a lot of suffering by a lot of people, directly and indirectly. Now, if you're a business and you have been struggling with this idea of forcing your customers, your employees to wear a mask, the National Retail Federation has encouraged retailers to set mask policies to protect shoppers and employees. So if you own a small business, there is plenty of precedent to back you up. A recent Harris Poll survey about businesses mandating masks found that 76% of Americans were wanted businesses to exact and enforce their own mandatory policies, with 80% saying they were more likely to do business with a company if they required all customers employees to wear a face mask. So the first approach, the first way to look at it when you're asking people is enforcing it, is deciding that this is an issue that is important to you as a homeowner or a business owner or someone operating a business. So if you require patrons or a guest to submit to temperature checks and wearing masks in stores and providing the names and phone numbers so contract tracers can track down anyone who made a contact with a positive case. Make sure you enforce it. But also don't be ashamed that you have and don't worry about it. The numbers are with you. Now, this does bring up a question that I've heard often. Can a business or like a restaurant or a gym tell a customer what to do? Yes. Businesses have far more authority than the government and what they require of their customers and their employees. That's because people have the choice to work, eat, or shop someplace else. I spotted an awesome quote from a senior policy analyst for the aclu. He said private companies can require you to wear Speedo if they want. So from mask mandates of the personal matter, your home, attending a party, or these extended family visits, think of it as the same rules apply to your home as they would in a business. You need to decide what's most important to you mingling with people in a safe environment or not? So the first approach, to look at it this way, is a mask important to you? Is it important for you in your home? Is it important to you in your business? If so, and the numbers back you up, then enforce it. Second, encourage conformity by requiring an all or none mandate. Have you ever been in a situation where the mask only policy is clearly stated? You see it, you see it on a sign, but then you see people walking around without wearing masks, especially if they have kids. Does that annoy you? Okay, it does me because people can think, well, why am I following the rule? And they're not. This situation of some people following the mask rule and some not creates health ramifications for everyone involved. People violating social norms is not only annoying, it creates a slippery slope for other people to stop following your rules. What causes people to comply with social norms? Well, primarily the answer is if you don't follow the rules, you might get in trouble. And many studies demonstrate that with the threat of punishment once it's removed, people tend to disregard social norms and that line of neat and orderly disintegrates into complete non compliance. More and more people, if you've noticed in the past few weeks, are not tolerating these people. The Karens of the world, the complainers. People want to be good fellas. Hey, if he's doing it, I'm going to do it. The principle of social proof means we tend to do what we observe other people doing. If you walk down the street and notice people are staring at the sky, chances are you're going to stop and stare at the sky as well. If you're in a grocery store and you see everyone rushing to the back, you're probably going to start rushing back there as well. If other people are doing something that's good for everyone else, it's probably a good thing for you to do the same as well. So for some people, conforming to formal and informal rules gives them a feeling of security and a sense of belonging that they can trust. Knowing others are behaving in an expected way and that there is a rule and that rule is enforced by some threat of disciplinary action. You want to encourage mask compliance by enforcing it. Do not let one person at your party not wear a mask if everyone else is wearing a mask. Don't let some customers get away without wearing a mask when most of the people are now. But what is punishment and trouble in a time of pandemic? Can someone get into trouble? Well, no, there's no law at the moment for not wearing a mask, I, I don't see any fines out there. You're not going to get arrested. But encouraging a social norm of mass compliance, the punishment should be via shame or embarrassment. Not directly. Not directly, but indirectly. Because if you ask someone to leave, it can be very confrontational, but doesn't mean that you shouldn't do it. People are going to get angry and leave in a huff regardless. My daughter, who works at a like a seaside restaurant, she always deals with people not wearing a mask. And she says when she politely asks them not to do it, most of the time they'll get all huffy and they'll leave. But one of the things I told her, they're going to be more embarrassed by that walk of shame when they have to turn around and everyone is looking at them. That is is the punishment. So second, you want to enforce the rules. You want to enforce the rules for everyone. You don't need to make a big deal about it. You don't need to kick someone out, make it super public. You just need to ask them to comply. And if they don't, don't worry, there's going to be a walk of shame and everyone is going to see it. All right? Third, it's the framing. And it's always in the framing. If you have written requests, make sure you frame them with a positive sentiment rather than a negative one. The pandemic, let's face it, it's annoying. But don't let your signage annoy people as well and use a lot more plural language. For example, we're asking everyone to wear a mask. You don't want to shame people in your signage. I mean, humor can work every once in a while, but over overall, the shaming is still off putting. It's not very hospitable. So framing desired behavior as the norm will likely go a lot further in ensuring compliance. Frame the positive, not the negative. Frame mask compliance. Rather than signaling out. It's going to sound something like this. Instead of no mask, no entrance. Try. You are welcome to shop while wearing a mask. Instead of. You can't attend the event if you're not wearing a mask. Try. We're asking all of our guests to wear a mask in an invitation instead of remember to wear a mask. Try. Don't forget your mask. Instead of masks required, try no mask on your face, you big disgrace, spreading your germs all over the place. You get the idea. Make the policy clear. Is it required or encouraged? No handwritten signs anywhere. You're not going to get compliance if people see just a handmade sign thrown up there, make sure your signage is easy to notice. Invest in quality graphics writing. Make it look like it's just as important as the signage to the name of your business. Set expectations for all guests and all customers to stick to it. So there you have it. Three Polite Ways to Get People to Wear a mask we all want to stay social during the time of a pandemic, and we all want to stay in business. But some people are simply going to refuse to wear a mask or they don't think that they need to wear one in your home. And that's fine. But the overall takeaway is this. If you set the rule and you stick to it, it's going to make it a lot easier to enforce it. So one decide how important is it for you to have a gathering of people privately in your home or in your business by enforcing a rule? And in most cases nowadays it is accepted that most businesses, if not all, have some type of mask policy as it is mandated within your state. And second, encourage conformity by requiring an all or none type of a rule. The goal is not to shame people. The goal is to set expectations for everyone that you have an expectation for people to follow the rules, and you're going to set expectations for everyone for what you do when someone doesn't. And third, frame your requests in a positive manner rather than a negative one. The pandemic is annoying, but don't let your signage annoy people as well. That's all for this week on the podcast. Thanks for listening and thanks for wearing a mask.