BONUS: Colleen Ballinger's Troubling Silence Before Picking Up the Ukulele

What's going on with Colleen Ballinger? Or are you asking, who is Colleen Ballinger?

Abracadabra. Our guns. Tonight, Miranda's got magic to do.

What else does she have to do? We'll respond to some pretty messy accusations. Welcome to the Indestructible PR Podcast, where we use current events and tested media and PR strategies to help prevent or manage a crisis and build an indestructible reputation. With the rise of social media, anyone can become a celebrity overnight. However, with fame comes increased scrutiny, and Internet celebrities are not immune to accusations of bad or inappropriate behavior. In recent years, we've seen many Internet personalities being accused of everything from grooming to harassment. But in this episode, let's discuss how to respond when faced with disturbing accusations, Internet celebrity or not. There's an answer here. Full disclosure. On social media, I was asked frequently, what do you think about what's happening with Colleen Ballinger? What is going on with Miranda Sings? Do you have any thought on Miranda Sings? Do you have thoughts on Colleen? And every time I saw those messages, I said to myself, who is Colleen Ballinger? Who is Miranda Sings? What is Miranda Sings about? Is that a TV show? I had no idea. I had no idea whatsoever. But then someone asked me, oh, not just someone. Someone named Molly, a fellow Molly asked me on my. My new PR Confidential community. She wanted me to respond to the accusations, you know, facing Colleen Ballinger. And that's when I realized Colleen and Miranda were one in the same. I wanted to answer this for Molly on the site, but I also wanted to answer it for Molly, crisis communicator, because the allegations here, like I said, they're pretty messy, and that's putting it mildly. This is a very sticky situation for Ballinger, but as of the time of recording, she hasn't said anything. She hasn't responded. So that's another reason why I wanted to dive into it. Now, the alternative title that I originally was going with was Parasocial Relationships. You know, the dark side of Internet fandoms. And I find that interesting. But that doesn't speak to what I like to do in my mission of helping people. Like, how can we provide a response? How can we work through this? When I work through responses on podcasts or when I work through them on TikTok in three minutes or less, what I'm really doing is training my brain to help me work with them, with my clients, and also share the findings with you all. Social media is a path to stardom. It's democratized. Anyone can be famous. Anyone can be A star. Because of social media and the Internet, anyone with a camera, with a phone and an Internet connection can amass a devoted online following. So whether it's YouTube or Instagram or TikTok, followers can easily engage, you know, with their favorite creators. And what happens is they build a type of relationship that I talked about in a previous episode called Parasocial relationships. These are one sided relationships where a fan feels a sense of belonging, a sense of friendship and a sense of intimacy with the creator. However, with this accessibility, this intimacy comes with a cost. Or it can come with a cost. Now, there was a recent article in in Rolling Stone. Well, there's many, many recent articles, but the article in Rolling Stone is the one that stood out to me for a couple reasons. One, I think it was in terms of this story. It certainly has the most heft to it in terms of journalistic credibility and also search engine optimization. There's a lot of discussion on Colleen Ballinger and Miranda Sings online, but she's not quite at the legacy media. The Today show is going to be talking about it yet because she's not known by a wide range of people. Her audience is a micro audience of YouTube, younger like real preteen teen area. And her fame came out around the pandemic when so many of these online creators just took off because so many people are at home now. The reporter is C T Jones and they write about culture at Rolling Stone. And C T Jones has a lot of bylines on stories having to do really with these trending breaking news stories, a lot of them viral nature. Those are the types of stories that I'm drawn to now because the newsbeat is about the culture of the Internet and social media. And when things go viral, they get the notice of reporters like C T Jones and other culture and media reporters out there. That's not to say that other reporters or all reporters are going to cover it, but there just seems to be this line, this invisible line of news, editorial and agenda where underneath the line is where it's mostly a culture Internet trending story. But when you go above it is when the majors are going to pick it up. You're going to see it in news, you're going to see it in New York Times, you're going to see it trending more across, you know, across the board. And right now I still think she's a little below the surface because only certain people know who this person is. And not that I am the true marker. I'm not the bellwether by any means. If Someone is popular or not, the fact that I had to dig who she is, but I can appreciate how popular she is, but. So that was the alternative title. But I really wanted to get behind the headlines of this PR crisis because this is a headline story in that social media realm. Definitely. So let's talk about. How do you respond when you've been accused of abhorrent behavior or possibly felonious behavior? I'm not coming here and I'm not looking at it in a fixer capacity. I am not here to help protect people who have harmed other people, but to offer guidance to anyone who finds themselves in a situation where they have been accused of something that is quite, quite inflammatory. How do you work your way around it? And it just so happens I happened to have a request come in just yesterday where someone was accused of, I'll just say gray behavior and they wanted my help. I mean, I can't help this person. That's not what I do. But I'm going to send this podcast link to them to say, you know, take a listen and see if this can help. But there are people out there who have been falsely accused and there are people out there who have been accused of some things, but it is painted in a worse light. And that's my approach at this. So first, who is Colleen Ballinger? So she has a successful vlog account that's a video blog mashup focusing on her life as a performer, a comedian. She's now a mother of three. Most people know her, however, for the sketch character of Miranda Sings. She debuted this character in 2008. So that is pre, pre, pre pandemic. But that says something here about Colleen Ballinger, why she's a little different. And this is going to come towards the end and the look, if you haven't seen her, I do have links in the show notes. So think high waisted pants. She has dark hair, it's slick back. She has this nasal voice that you heard her sing in the open. But her trademark is this bright red lipstick where naturally she has sponsorship for it so people can buy it that's drawn around her like, you know, even outside of it. So it has more of a feeling of vaudeville there. It kind of has this crazy effect. This character is very obnoxious, rude, does anything for laughs, makes noises for laughs. Absolutely pushes away criticism, like pushing away the hate. And what this character wants to do is become famous. Hmm. Like a very meta thought there. So even though she's trying to, as, as this Rolling Stone article puts it, that she is trying to become synonymous with cringe, like Internet humor. What she's doing is she is taking her sketches and she's mixing in an online Persona of, of Colleen Ballinger and mixing it with this kind of crazy. Miranda sings. But in the end, she wants to come out and promote kindness. She wants to promote, promote positivity because she has a lot of young fans. However, like a lot of people online, she has to straddle a place between being super famous online, being a celebrity, but also having the exchange and having the relationship with your fans change dramatically. Another key element to Colleen Ballinger is that she is a trained performer, unlike a lot of people who became famous around the pandemic, whether it's TikTok or YouTube and even before that. I mean, YouTube fame was certainly before that. They're typically people who might just spend time online and all of a sudden they just catch and they become famous. Ballinger is trained in this, so she majored in it in college vocal performance. She gave voice lessons, piano lessons to kids. She's performed at Disneyland and she was performing in Seussical when someone, a casting agent, asked her to audition to be a Disneyland character performer. So she's been in high school musicals, she's been in the parade, she's been in Playhouse Disney show, which is such a throwback to me, oh my gosh, when my kids, when I was home with four kids under the age of two watching Playhouse Disney. But here's a clip of her of Colleen Ballinger performing as Colleen the actress in her Disney days.

Happy birthday, Mary N. We hope you like our too. Good morning. Late at night.

Now, why am I mentioning this or why am I stressing this? It's to frame Ballinger for what she is, a performer. She's not a person who fell into social media YouTuber fame. In that typical ecosystem, she's a little bit different. So at the height of her popularity, which is around 2016, she was a very well known face on YouTube. So she was peaking at like 10 million subscribers on the Miranda Sings channel alone. And that didn't account for all the other millions of people that were following her and subscribers on her personal channel. Then she started to get more connections and endorsements. So she won a teen Award in 2015. She was in a Broadway production of Waitress. She was in a video with Ariana Grande. She was interviewed by Stephen Colbert. And so, you know, this Rolling Stone article is kind of framing her for what she is. And she even starred in her own Netflix series based off her catchphrase. Her Famous one of haters. Back off. Ironic. So, anyway, but like a lot of people online, what they do is they try and people bring other people into the mix. So you can banter. It's not just you. There's the back and forth. So she would bring in her family and her friends. So there's her brother, Trent Ballinger. She has a friend named Corey, and the team. So they were a part of the videos and the sketch and the shows and the fan interactions, which is what brings us to this point. Now, what the Rolling Stone article focuses on is that Ballinger has been accused of abusing her power and engaging in a toxic, parasocial relationship with fans. Okay, that's it. That's the accusation. But what is happening with the reputation and the word play at hand? It's taking a more darker turn now. The past and current members of her team, as I mentioned, there was the best friend, Corey De Soto. There was an ex husband, Joshua David Evans. And then I mentioned her brother, Trent. They were also accused of using and leveraging her fame to. To access fans, and also accused of inappropriately messaging followers, many who were underage. So fans have claimed that they were sent inappropriate texts by Trent, that they were asked about their sex lives by Ballinger, and in one case, bullied over the weight by Corey Doto. And these types of accusations are the ones that are kind of fueling this moment for Ballinger. The hate is still there. It's growing. There are more news stories. There are now podcasts about it. You can go on YouTube and you can see a lot of stories about it as well. However, Ballinger, as Miranda sings, is on tour. It's on a summer tour, and she said nothing. She is staying silent in the matter. Very likely. Working with a team, probably has lawyers, probably has some type of public relations, publicist, crisis management fixer in the mix. Or not. Or not. Could be choosing to not do anything, but when you have millions at stake, you tend to get outside counsel. And I think the reason why there is outside counsel there is because I think strategically, the play here is to wait. I don't think this is just a decision that she came up with, but it doesn't mean that the cracks aren't showing on tour. Here's a reaction to Ballinger or Miranda sings from a recent live show. Oh, someone's booing.

Someone's booing. Someone's booing.

Someone's booing. Someone is booing. So Ballinger still is. Fans. People are showing up. The fans are showing up. The show must and is going on. But before I get into the accusations and her response, let's just talk about how we got here. Enter the supporting protagonist to the story. His name is Adam McIntyre. He was a 10 year old kid. He was an Irish kid, but from Brighton, England, or Brighton as they would say, or as they would even say in Brighton, Mass. Brighton, Mass. He found something very, very special in YouTubers back then. So the story of McIntyre painted that he was the kid who was getting bullied in his adolescence. And so he was going home and he was just immersing himself in YouTube and he found Ballinger. She became his favorite comedian. But what started out as this just interest in a person and this parasocial relationship, it started to evolve into something or devolve into something that was much more problematic. It started to move into a close friendship. And then McEntire, now 20, is alleging that it became exploitative, abusive and toxic. What McEntire says is that Ballinger created this Persona of responding and interacting with fans, which is what a lot of people online do. I mean, you look at the success of any live stream, I mean live streaming is that interaction. People like getting that firsthand connection with their favorite creators. I mean, it's parasocial relationship on speed. But now he's claiming that she took advantage of him for the purpose of content. And there are other fans who did speak to the reporter for Rolling Stone and they were given the same type of, of, of access. Rolling Stone did report that they reached out to Ballinger, to Trent, to, so to all the team, but no one has commented on the matter. Now to take a step back, just about YouTube culture in general, has there been backlash in the past with other people's. I mean, certainly in 2021, James Charles and I was familiar with this one because I have daughters, but in 2021, James Charles admitted to texting a 16 year old fan sexually explicit content. And the response was they weren't aware that they were underage at the time. In January, there was another former YouTube star, Onision, if I'm getting that right, whose real name is James Jackson, sued by two plaintiffs alleging that he used his channel to groom them through these personal, you know, forums when they were 14. Now, Jackson has denied those claims and there's a mediation scheduled later on this year in 2020. Now it's important to note the age of consent in the UK is 16, but in the US it fluctuates. It generally ranges between the ages of 16 and 18, so that's why it can get a little gray Another example would be Andrew Callahan. Now, I featured him in episode 224, analyzing the apology statement, the Andrew Callahan example. I have a link in the show notes, if you. The story about Callahan is that he was interacting with women. So his pattern of misconduct was how he treated women who were fans and going out and meeting the women and how he treated them. Well, they all mobilized on social media and came back at him. And now he is still quiet and we haven't heard much of him. And then also recently, the controversial influencer Andrew Tate. He was charged in Romania with rape, human trafficking, and forming an organized crime group to sexually exploit women, along with his brother Tristan and two other associates. So you could see here the range of how this culture can really create this YouTube culture, this live streaming, parasocial relationship. It can get murky, but it can get dark. And it can get dark fast. But does that mean Ballinger is on the same level as an Andrew Tate who's accused of human trafficking? Well, let's just see. There's something more here that could speak to where we are in a social media ecosystem. Even though the headlines are saying the word grooming, and when people hear the word grooming, it usually ties into another word of what happens with grooming, and it's not a good one. But the true allegations against Ballinger are not criminal. And there's not even a hint that she used her power to start anything sexual with her fans at all. What she's being accused of is holding emotional power over them. She is using her fame to get these young followers to do things for her, to follow her for the purpose of leveraging them for content. It's like an emotionally manipulative relationship. Now, when you think about a PR crisis with a creator, that's slightly different. So I want to just go off into this avenue for a moment. Now, parasocial relationships may seem harmless for the most part, but when there's a lack of reciprocal communication, the power dynamic between creators and fans can be problematic. So fans may blur the lines between reality and fiction, whether they engage with them or whether they're ignored by them when the engagement starts, they might project their own fantasies and desires onto creators. While creators can feel this pressure to maintain this certain Persona, to live up to the fan expectations, because when you do that, you're going to get more views, more streams, more likes, more followers. So this type of dynamic can lead to toxic behavior, really, on both ends. Fans feel entitled to the creator's time, their attention, while creators may exploit their fans for financial gain. That comes from the streaming time, the likes and the follows, and they also like the emotional validation. I can attest to this firsthand. I. I do live streams on TikTok. I respond to people on TikTok. And yes, on the one hand, I feel like I'm being assaulted by commentary because you have to wade through a lot of negativity. But there are people who just heat praise on the work that I do. And I love that it makes me feel good. But I could see how it could easily, easily go to someone's head. That's not me. I'm a middle child. I will never, ever in my lifetime think that I'm a special person worthy of a pedestal. It's just by nature. But in the beginning, the earliest YouTubers did not have real guidance, and that comes from Jamie Cohen, so who's a PhD who was quoted in this Rolling Stone's story talking about how these YouTube stars, you know, indicating that they're mostly white kids fighting against the gatekeepers. In other words, you know, journalism, media, media conglomerates, they just hop on YouTube owned by Google, now owned by Alphabet, and they can become their own stars, they make their own rules, they can do whatever they want. But now we have the rise of cancel culture as well, and it's taken on different forms. So it's now exacerbated, I feel, because of these parasocial relationships, the toxicity of them. When fans feel betrayed or disappointed, they can launch these online campaigns to hold these people accountable with creators. So it's like there's creator versus creator, because sometimes a creator isn't necessarily a creator for financial gain. It's just someone who's comfortable putting their face online, thus their creator. And those creators love bringing down other people. I am noticing this right now. I just did a post on this, on TikTok. This creator versus creator, or the schadenfreude of bringing people down and the pleasure that's derived from it is creating this breeding ground on the Internet and social media that's creating all this hate. Some of it is from the anonymity of it, where people don't put their names or their faces on there. So it just kind of creates this distance where they can still destroy people. They can reduce any type of empathy there because there's not a, there's not a face there, there's not a name there. But also we have this culture in social media of comparison and competition. People like to bring people down to leverage their own like and fame and, and influence. They love that on TikTok I'm gonna duet someone and knock them down or I'm gonna stitch, I'm gonna take a couple words out of context and I'm gonna blast this person for it. I know this firsthand. It's. It's happened to me. I've seen it, I've watched it, I've analyzed it. So when I go through it, I'm watching, I want to see what goes on there. And so I'm noticing that there is a pattern there. And when it starts to bubble online with all these creators, that's when the press picks up. Press picks it up. When they see that there's a social media feud, they see that there's a potential for a story that can generate attention, controversy, it can increase the readership, the viewership, the rise of culture and trend reporters not only as Beats online and digital press, but also just mainstream media as well. These feuds provide great narratives that can be sensationalized. You're going to see them everywhere. They can be amplified. Media outlets recognize this type of reporting. In many cases, I think just AI takes over. Someone just says, okay, here's a story on TikTok, here's a feud, plops it into AI, it's written on AI and smashed onto a website. And now you gotta. You got a great trending story. All of it fuels it. Now here's the part that got Ballinger into trouble and I want you to pay attention here because this is why I believe that PR crises start. And this is why, without a doubt, social media PR crises start for this reason. Now I am quoting from C T Jones article in Rolling Stone, quote, The first time McIntyre met Ballinger was in 2014 at a tour stop in Dublin. It was very professional, McEntire says, I was a fan and she was the celebrity, end quote. That line sets us up for what we're reading as a parasocial relationship fan and celebrity. The article goes on to explain how they met again in person in 2016 and how McIntyre felt that the friendship became real. The two went from talking through tweets and direct messaging, which now the reporter did see these screenshots and verified the screenshots, but also it crept into an area where they would discuss her content as well as more serious matters like the online haters and her impending divorce from then husband Joshua David Evans. So she's remarried now. So at that time, McIntyre was 14, Ballinger was 29. Now I'm going to quote again from the story. This is important. As a matter of fact, I'm going to Put this into a keynote that I'm giving in a week. In a week, Two weeks, next week, Two weeks. I'm, I'm putting this in here because this, this is the quote that explains it. Here we go. Quote I was looking at it like this golden opportunity of trust, McIntyre says. And I, in the moment, really didn't care if it was morally right or wrong because I was just grateful that she was talking to me and not anyone else. End quote. Again, it's a parasocial relationship that, that turned into a friendship, another type of relationship. But here is where we are noticing that something is faltering. McIntyre is wavering on the most important characteristic in a reputation, and that is trust. The word trust is straight from that quote. If you are a listener to my podcast or if you follow me on social media, you have heard me say this time and time again about trust and the importance of it. The moment trust wavers is the moment you're on the precipice of a potential PR crisis. Trust is the cornerstone of a brand's reputation, a person's reputation, and when it crumbles, a PR crisis looms on the horizon. So rebuilding trust becomes a vital PR tool in the midst of a crisis. It helps you restore the faith in that brand or in that person. They need to recapture integrity. And the way to do that is by restoring trust. And when it wavers, boom, you're in your PR crisis. Take a listen to what it sounds like straight from McIntyre for a little bit of context.

In 2020, I posted this video which was called Colleen Ballinger Stopped Lying Three years Ago. And then Colleen responded with a video call addressing everything in my video. I focused on things. I mean, this is 2020. So I was, I just turned 17. And the DM from Corey read, I just turned 17 in this video. And the purpose in making this video was because I found out that Colleen had been talking about me and that Corey, who's her best friend and lives with her and is like, you know, her best friend, had also been talking about me. And I kind of reached like a breaking point.

Now, if you're listening to that clip, this also delves into an area that I also talk about, which also goes hand in hand with this lack of trust, is that a PR crisis is always about the victim. Always. There is always a victim. I tell this to my clients all the time. Find your victim and you found the source of your crisis. My clients all the time, they don't know what I'm talking about. They think it's Odd because like most people, when they hear the term victim, they think of someone who's been assaulted. They think of someone who's been hurt or run over by a car. But that's emotionally how they feel. Someone feels wronged, someone was let down, someone was disappointed. And the erosion of trust begins. The greatest threat to any business or organization is decision created victims. A brand, a person, a company, organization made a decision to do or say something that created a victim. Someone was hurt, either internal or external. Now, internal employees, former employees, but also fans who broke through the fourth wall, like McIntyre, who went from a fan, an outside fan, to in the inner circle, still a fan. Then there's the external people who are triggered by something that the person has done, and it could be triggered by race or ableism or abuse. They will lash out as well. If they feel a creator is being racist or a creator is shaming people based on race or ableism, some type of problem that they relate to, they're going to be victimized. And when the trigger happens is when a post happens and when the mobilization happens, you know, on social media. And when that starts, it almost creates a viral tsunami that's aided by an algorithm and shares and reposts and retweets and duets and stitches on TikTok. It gets deadly PR crisis about the victim. Poor response prolongs it. So if there's denial, arrogance, or ignoring it, it only exacerbates the problem. Now back to Ballinger. When a victim needs closure, they also want to hit back. And that is what's happening with Ballinger. Adam McIntyre is fighting back and McIntyre is fighting back online, which is a very, very powerful place with powerful tools, video and the ability to hit the algorithm and shares. And many online activists in these social media vigilantes, they want retribution. They want to see people go down. They want to watch all the posts. And yes, I believe so much of it is schadenfreude. They want to see the destruction. Now, here's an example from someone who used to work for Ballinger. She had an employee or someone you know who used to work on tour with her. I didn't know his status as an employee or contracted employee, but his name is Johnny Silvestri and he's come out and talked about his experience with her and he made a tweet referring to something that he saw on stage. Before I read the tweet, take a listen to what's happening on stage.

Are you married? Yeah.

To the best, best woman on the planet.

Not what I heard.

The Voice that you heard interacting with Ballinger, who is Plane Miranda sings, is her husband Eric. And they're going back and forth. Now, Johnny Sylvestri, who used to work with Colleen, tweeted this statement. I'm actually very bothered by Eric laughing like a giddy school girl after Colleen made that tasteless joke referring to the situation last night. It makes me believe they're making jokes like that behind the scenes as well. No remorse or any regard for other people. Gross. So this is in response to the lack of response by Ballinger on this issue of grooming McIntyre. And this is also an example of when people start to mobilize and pile on. Now, this is when I put my detective hat on in my job. I'm always looking when I, you know, when I work with clients, I'm always trying to identify who the victims are. I'm always trying to identify moles within the building. I'm always trying to figure out what is behind the motives of people who have an agenda to bring people down. Now, in this case, we don't know. Or maybe it is out there and I just didn't find it. And maybe you all can share with me, but I don't know the reason why Johnny Silvestri left Colleen Ballinger. But reading that tweet tells me it's a sign of retribution because he's making an assumption here about that. They're making jokes about it behind the scenes. I mean, he doesn't know that because he's not there anymore. But this is that retribution in action. And when people inject like this into social media, it still fuels the crisis because, like, oh, now look at someone who's worked with her who's done that. So victims, what they want, they want vindication, they want validation, they want visibility. They want people to see that they've been wronged. Unless it's like a secret war or a secret campaign that's being waged. For the most part, they want to be out in the open. They need to be a face of the other side. Sometimes they want an apology. Sometimes an admission of guilt is enough. Sometimes a creator just coming online and saying, I'm sorry is enough to appease them. But sometimes it's not. Now, what do we do when there's been an accusation of abhorrent behavior? How do you start to rebuild that trust? I'm injecting this first into my indestructible PR framework. You've heard me mention it before. Own it, explain it, promise it. But before we get into the response, this is new in 2023. I have added this to my toolkit. For anyone who is going through any type of a crisis, and this is what I think Ballinger is doing. You need to go through a discovery phase first. Okay. I mean, I do that anyway with clients, obviously, but anyone who's being called out on social media, first. You just need to assess the media ecosystem here. Okay. First, figure out the parasocial relationships. Do you have someone who started out as a gradual fan and then they quickly lost interest, perhaps when things when they were ignored or something happened to them? Is it someone who's truly been victimized by you, or is it someone trying to leverage the fame to bring you down? Are they someone who's trying to grow their brand for profit? Not that it matters. I'm not saying yes or no, but this matters in how you're going to respond, because you want to know what, where the response lives in what type of ecosystem. Are you being accused by someone that's also a brand, someone that has a lot of followers, someone that has some heft to them online? Has the press picked up on it yet? If so, is it still in that kind of culture trend reporter phase where they're just reporting on the nature of the story, or are you already hitting the big time? Are you in the Daily Mail? Are you in the New York Post? Are you in the Washington Post? Is local television, national television covering it? You have to see where, where you lie in all of that. And as it relates to creators, you really have to look at yourself and figure out what you did wrong and what you need to change. Okay, once you've done all that, now we're going to start to analyze. The final thing is just analyze the demographic, the values, the motivation of the. This audience. Sometimes this audience is really just teaching you a lesson. You know, in many cases, you're going to see it happen. In the racial realm, someone is going to be accused of white privilege. When that happens, you really have to reflect on that. If, if you're white and you've been accused of this. Hm? Are they right? Like, is there any truth to this? It's going to set your baseline for where you're coming from and what you need to admit to. You have to clearly, clearly learn from that. Okay. You don't want to completely dismiss it. All right? So once you have done all of that, let's now start working towards that response. The first step, always in the indestructible PR framework, is own it. This is taking accountability. Acknowledge the seriousness of the accusation. It is essential that you do that. You need a sincere and public apology or, you know, taking responsibility, expressing remorse. So it could be apologizing to those people who are affected or the one person person. In some cases, people will make the mistake of denying everything and blaming and pointing the finger. That is not what this framework is for at all. It doesn't work. It does not work if you want to blame, because all it does is make it worse. And it just shows a lack of responsibility and empathy towards the victim. Right. So you want to publicly acknowledge the accusation and take responsibility for what you've done. It can be a very, very difficult step, but it is necessary for moving forward and taking steps to improve. Also, here's another reason why. If the press comes calling, if you already acknowledge it, it could send a reporter in a different direction. It could send them in the direction of, okay, they've already acknowledged this. So this isn't a story about us bringing this person down or talking about why they need to go down. It could be more about both sides. It could be just about the viral nature of it. You're just giving a reporter more to work with and less to work with when it comes to bringing you down. All right, the next one is explain it. That's where you tell your side to provide context. So transparency here is paramount. You want to openly address the situation, but provide your explanation, provide context. This is going to help you build trust, but also you're going to be reaching the reasonable people. The people are kind of wavering on you. Like, I could go either way on this. This is where you try and reach them in a reasonable level. Okay, so someone has empathy for you. Like, ah, I, I get why they would do that. Oh, I could see that. Oh, you know what? I would have done the same thing. I would have done the exact same thing. That's what we're trying to go for. Okay. Or you might be hitting people where they feel like, oh, they genuinely suddenly feel remorseful. And, and that would have happened if that didn't happen. So I could see why this happened to them. Let's just give them a break, okay? That's our goal. So also in this phase, you're listening to criticism, you're learning from criticism. It's really important in that stage because it's going to set you up for the final one, which is promise it. This is where you're actually making those amends and you're taking action. You want to prevent that behavior in the future. So what are the concrete actions that you're doing to rectify the situation. It could be. You'll see it a lot. I'm making a donation to this related charity. I'm taking the steps to educate myself. I'm taking the steps to help myself. I'm going into counseling. I'm going into therapy. Whatever it is. Show this commitment to changing. You want to show this ethical behavior as you move forward. It's vital to show it because if you do not do it, then you cannot get through it. So these are the steps that will help you address the situation. Show a commitment to making things right. And it's also just people will just give you a break. That's what we're hoping for is they just let it go because there's another crisis right around the corner. There's someone else to bring down right around the corner. All right, so let's just finally wrap it up here with Colleen Ballinger's response. What is it? I couldn't find anything that she did, but I did find some one who was able to grab some clips from her recent show. So this is comes courtesy of spill sesh on YouTube. Listen to one clip of how she responded. Close, but not close enough. Take a listen.

It's been a crazy, just kind of few years. In general, life is crazy. There's so many things to say and I'm not going to say those things now. But I do want to say that I am so appreciative of you guys and I. I'm very grateful. Even though I already said that, I'm saying it again. I. It's one of the times, another time in my life where you guys have shown me a lot of love and support, as when we're all going through the pandemic together.

All right, so there she's thanking moms in the audience. Some might say this is pandering to the adults in the room because they're going to have sway over the younger kids there. The. The adults in the room are quote, unquote, the reasonable people in the room. Those are the people who I was referring to in the explain it phrase. This is the context. What she's saying on stage there is explaining it. She's doing the context phase. So, see, she's signaling to the room. I know what's going on. I'm not going to go deep, but I want you to understand what I'm saying here. Now, in the past, Ballinger has apologized for misbehavior. There was a video that was posted three years ago. This is May 2020. My gosh. Two. Two weeks before George Floyd, before everything changed. But she was apologizing for cultural appropriation, ableism, making fun of people based on their weight. She was also getting hit for recounting a story very humorously about getting bit by dog and then they had to put the dog down, which, oh my gosh, that would be a trigger for me. And this was seven years ago. And she was talking about it in a very insensitive way. So this is an apology from that time, not from the current accusations from that time. Take a listen.

To anyone and everyone who is hurt or offended by the statements I made when I was younger, I am so, so sorry. I hope you all can see that the person who I am today is so far from that ignorant person I was over a decade ago. And to those of you who might say, well, I knew better when I was that age or 14 years ago, I knew right from wrong, I'm so glad that you did, because that means that there's one less person making those stupid mistakes that I made.

Now, what you probably heard in there is something that I mention, is when people apologize only to the people who they offended. This is the mistakes were made apology, the non apology, the faux apology, a pseudo apology. It's a very passive aggressive way to not apologize for something. All right, the last piece of it is she does. There is a section where she does explain what happened with Adam McIntyre. He's our protagonist in the beginning. She goes on to over explain what happened. It's, it's, it's messy. Like the explanation is just messy. It's hard to follow. She's bringing his mother into the mix again. She's bringing an adult into the room because she wants reasonable people to understand what's going on here. She does admit fault by using her business, being a busy mom, you know, which, I get all of this. I get it, I get it, I get it. But a lot of it, again, is explaining she. In this clip that I'm going to play, she's discussing the hate that she's receiving. So it's less of an apology, but listen to what it is.

But over the last month, I've received a lot of criticism. That isn't the type of constructive criticism I've received over the last decade. It is more just hateful and cruel. And the things that are being said about me are absolutely horrendous. No, I should have never sent a fan underwear. How stupid am I? No, I definitely should have never given him access to my Twitter account. And no, I shouldn't have talked to him as often as I did. But I am not a monster. I am not a groomer, and I shouldn't kill myself. Be careful with the words you choose to use, because I have learned time and time again that words definitely matter. And your words can hurt people, and they can affect people in a very negative way. And I just hope that that's a lesson we can all learn in this situation.

Did you hear that? It's more of an explainer with only a dash of remorse. It's really more of a rant. So what I think is happening with Colleen Ballinger, I think she's waiting. I think she's intentionally waiting one waiting for the press to subside, to hope that it doesn't kind of cross that bar where it gets picked up by mainstream press. She's hoping that mainstream people won't become aware of it, that only her fan base and people, you know, on social media talking about it. She's making money on these tours, so she's likely, like, continuing these tours for her fans so she can make money. Because if it all goes away, she needs the cash. She needs, you know, that money, and she's probably just gambling on it. Right now. It's a roulette table, and she's deciding where to put her chip. She's now gambling on herself getting through it. But if she doesn't, at least there'll be some coin there that she can rest on. Then she can go away for a bit and then come back, perhaps in a new iteration and attract a new wave of fans. And they could be younger fans and fans who are not familiar with her past, and also unsuspecting parents who don't know her from anything. So in conclusion, being accused of bad or inappropriate behavior can be difficult and stressful, you know, for anyone. But it's important for anyone who's been accused, whether or not they're an Internet celebrity or someone who's been accused of bad behavior that rolls out online, it's important to respond in a responsible and empathetic way. You want to show that you care about people, and how you show that is by taking accountability. It's listening to criticism and taking action to prevent the similar behavior. Internet celebrities, man, they come and go, don't they? That's the damage in it. So for Ballinger, it will be a risk, but this is the risk that I think she's willing to take to see if she can get through it. And if she doesn't get through it, she'll have made money. And I think that she'll wait it out. Now, in every episode, I leave you with one indestructible PR tip. It's an easy to remember takeaway to help you build your indestructible reputation. Now, here it is. When you're navigating any type of PR crisis, or if you're navigating something where it's pretty bad, you need to explain yourself. Because people have very bad ideas about you based on what's being said about you online, it is important to come out and explain it. These types of things don't go away. People may forget, but there's always going to be people that won't forget. And there's going to be a very big entity that will never forget. And that entity is called the Internet. So changing your behavior becomes a very critical step. So whatever the accusation is and how close to the truth it is, the key to that statement is going to be about changing behavior. What you've learned from this incident and how you're going to change in the future, that's the process of rebuilding trust to get you through it. Have a sincere commitment to that introspection, the self reflection. Have a willingness to acknowledge what you've done and a willingness to rectify those past mistakes. And when you change behavior, you can change the way that people think about you and you can change your reputation. All right, that's all for this week on the podcast. That was an opus. Bye for now.