Dependence or Independence? Problem Solver or a Just a Problem? - Purity 1258

To see today's photo, go to mt4christ.org or follow me, M.t. Clark, on Facebook or Twitter. Good morning. Today's photo of purple lavender fields of splendor comes to us from Dave Bond Photography, who shared this scene from Dave's visit to the Handorf Lavender Estate in Handorf, South Australia last weekend on social media earlier this week. Well, it's Friday, and although I am super excited for the weekend, as I will be reunited with my beloved wife, Tammy Lynn, for 2 days, I think I will mentally breathe deep the imagined scent of lavender that this photo brings to mind and try to calm and just rejoice in the peace that the Lord brings to my life, because I know oh too well that we won't— we often won't have it for long if we're relying on the circumstances of this world. To give us serenity now. While my personal life of walking in the spirit really couldn't be better right now, the world has a way of disrupting your joy, especially when the other people in your life don't have a relationship with the Lord and suffer accordingly. I reported a few days ago that my son Brennan has been moping around the house, and yesterday he confirmed the bad news that his recent consecutive no-shows to his job resulted in the termination of his employment. Making me concerned for his emotional, mental, and financial well-being. I have suggested that he correct his mood by personally, uh, by being personally responsible for it and gave him a book on cognitive therapy that demonstrates that our emotions are driven by our thoughts. If our mood is low or depressive, we need to examine what we are thinking about and intentionally change our thoughts. Likewise, if we are suffering from the consequences of our inaction of our interaction or our failure to be responsible, we need to choose to take action and be responsible. Good mental health really isn't a mystery. God created us, uh, and the world to operate by certain principles, and when we deviate from being good stewards to our bodies and minds by living independently of him, we sin, we go astray, and we suffer for it. Scripture points this out in the beginning where the Lord said in Genesis 4:6-7, "Why are you so angry?" the Lord asked Cain. "Why do you look so dejected? You will be accepted if you do what is right. But if you refuse to do what is right, then watch out. Sin is crouching at the door, eager to control you, but you must subdue it and be its master." So in my son's situation, He failed to do what was right, which includes squandering his college money, failing to go to school, and now failing to go to his job. He sinned. He missed the mark of responsible behavior, and now sin is controlling him, causing him to rebel against common sense and keeping him locked in negative thinking and a depressed mood. So, I have tried to encourage him to do what is right, to work, to support himself, to plan for the future, and to build a life for himself. To get him out of this funk. But I recognize the seriousness of mental health concerns and also suggested if he felt he needed more help than— more help, that he consults with his doctor to get medication or go to mental health to seek counseling. He hasn't taken my advice, so now I've asked his grandmother to visit him and to either encourage him to work on his problems or to escort him to mental health to get to get the help he needs. She is concerned about his well-being, and I suggested she offer to take him to mental health. As I go to the next paragraph, my son is an, is an adult now, 22 years old, and I won't coddle him. If he needs mental health assistance, I support him getting it, but I worked in the med— I worked in the field as a counselor and and know that once you go into the system, you never go out. My Aunt Diane was schizophrenic and went to— went further into madness and to a relatively early death under the state's care. And I won't be bringing my son to mental health for what I believe to be an existential crisis. He needs to do what is right. He needs to work to support himself and build a life for himself. But if that's too much for him, I understand. But I would give it, I would give it some time before I have him committed. I know that I can't fix him, and I know that mental health would most likely make him worse. So getting— letting go and let— and so I'm letting go and letting God, and will be still and let my son decide what he wants to do. Dependence or independence. One of my pastors once said that we will be known as one of two kinds of people in life. We will be either known as someone who solves problems or someone who was a problem. That might sound a little harsh, but I think that is true. And so my adult son, uh, will have to decide, uh, will he take action to solve his problems or will he decide to be a problem? The choice is his, and I will attempt to do my best to be loving and patient while he makes that decision. I have presented him with his options and asked his grandmother to visit him and escort him to mental health if necessary, and I guess we'll see how that plays out. In the meantime, I'm going to thank the Lord for the— that the problems aren't worse than they are. My son's problem is not mine, and while I can make suggestions for fixing it, I can't solve it, although I guess I could eventually have him removed from my home by the men in white coats. I'm not ready to do that today, and so I will thank God for the life he has given me. I will pray for my son to seek the Lord and do what is right, and I will trust the Lord to move things according to his sovereign will. I'm going to try my best to enjoy the weekend because I know that we all choose our own path in life, and Jesus is the Savior. Not me. I'm tired of giving advice that isn't listened to and watching people suffer because of their lack of faith and their selfish decisions. But that's my ministry. I encourage the hopeless, the hurting, and the broken to do what is right and to seek the Lord and His will for their lives. That's the solution that I know works for the problems of this life and for eternity. And so I'll continue. To tell people to keep on walking and talking with God. Today's Bible verses come to us from the Quick Scripture Reference for Counseling by John G. Cruis. This morning's meditation verses come from the section on communication, gossip, and lying. And today's verses are from Ecclesiastes 5:3-5. And the word of God says, for a dream comes through much activity, and a fool's voice is known by his many words. When you make a vow to God, do not delay to pay it, for he has no pleasure in fools. Pay what you have vowed! Better not to vow than to vow and not pay. Today's verses are the second of five passages of scripture that fall under the fifth point of our Counseling Reference Guide's resource section on communication, gossip, and lying. And that fifth point is: Be quick to listen and slow to speak. Today's verses describe fools as having many words, so I'll try to keep this short. The basic message in today's verses is to do what you say you will do, to fulfill the vows you make immediately, and to consider not making vows at all rather than failing to be a man of your word. So, don't make promises you can't keep and strive to be a person of integrity. Do what you say you will do and regard the Bible as your standard for living and apply it to your life. God takes no pleasure in fools, and there is no bigger fool than someone claiming to be a Christian and failing to live like it. As followers of Jesus, let's follow Him with the way we live and by being true to His word and the words we speak. As always, I invite all to go to M.t. Clark.org where I always share insights from prominent Christian theologians and counselors to assist my brothers and sisters in Christ with their walk. Today we continue sharing from According to Your Word: Morning and Evening Through the New Testament by Stephen F. Alford. It's a collection of devotional journals from 1940 and '41. And with this resource, Alford prompts people to read a chapter of Scripture. Today's chapter is Matthew 18, and from that chapter he highlights verse 35, which says, so my Heavenly Father also will do to you if 'If each of you from his heart does not forgive his brother his trespasses.' And Alford writes, 'Here is certainly strong language. How can the believer read such a verse and not see to it that he has a forgiving spirit?' The Apostle Paul teaches the same truth. He says, 'Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, corresponding with his heart' in the verse above, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:32. And John wrote in 1 John 3:15, whoever hates his brother is a murderer. Thus, a forgiving spirit is essential. In fact, it is the positive fruit of one born of God. In another place, it is given as the condition for prevailing prayer. And Alford concludes his entry with a prayer: Oh Lord, cultivate in me the same forgiving spirit you have shown me. Amen. And that's it from According to Your Word by Stephen F. Alford. And today he's pointing to a forgiving spirit. And I forgive my son for the foolishness of blowing off work and getting fired. And but, you know, I love him and I will encourage him to get another job and, you know, stop moping around the house and to do what's right and get a job to support yourself. And if you honestly feel you have a mental health crisis of depression to that extent, such an extent that medication is available through a healthcare provider and counseling is available at mental health services in our community, I didn't mean to paint such a dark picture of mental health, you know, basically, but as a counselor, I have seen that people would put themselves into the system and they would live there forever. You know, all the cases I dealt with were chronic cases, meaning my clients died. You know, basically out of the 3 clients I had in a residential, Two of them are dead now. And granted, some of them, you know, one of them had HIV, other one had diabetes and was older, but they basically lived within the system relying on the state to support them and give them housing. And, you know, I saw it up close and personal while they were cared for. You know, honestly, I can't, you know, recommend that as a way to live. The last, you know, my ministry is a ministry of encouragement, and we encourage freedom in Christ and You're not free in the residential setting or apartment program for mental health. You're a ward of the state, and that's not freedom. Now granted, some people have deep issues, you know, but I got to keep it real as a Christian counselor and as someone who's overcome his own mental health struggles of depression, anxiety, and addiction, uh, I can tell you that, uh, all my problems were solved when I, when I sought the Lord and relied on His strength to overcome and agreed with His word about who I am as a person, as a child of God. And, uh, you know, I'm walking in victory and freedom continually and progressively, um, you know, doing the taking every thought captive. Yeah, the world's a tough place, you know, Bad things happen. Life isn't fair, etc., etc., etc. But, you know, there's someone who overcame the world, and his name is Jesus Christ. And when you come aligned with him and believe in him, you are filled with supernatural power to overcome everything because you'll never die. When you have eternal life in Christ, you know, the problems of this world don't amount to a whole much. You know, we, um, we have a hope and a future. It's called the Kingdom of God forever. And guess what? That happens now. And we appropriate our identity in Christ. We can live in joy and peace regardless of the messes around us, because those aren't my messes. And as much as I can care for and love the people around me, I can't make them believe, I can't make them pray, and I can't change them. But I will love them but I will also make them responsible for what they do. And if you live in my home and are idle for too long, you'll be removed from my home. And whether or not that's you get your own place or you're consigned to the state, you know, that's for you to decide. And I'm not pushing anyone out the door, you know, just yet. I'm just saying those are the ultimate outcomes. There's no, you know, there's no in between. You're either going to be independent or dependent. The choice is yours. And you're not going to be dependent on me, not for too long anyway. Why? Because that's no way to live. We're supposed to take care of ourselves. We're supposed to be good stewards to ourselves, and we're supposed to be productive. You know, we're supposed to help other people and follow the Lord. And when we're not doing that, then we suffer. So That might sound like tough love, because it is, you know, but it is love. Make no mistake. Anyway, I gotta work. That's right. I don't get to sit home and go, "Oh, my son is depressed. I'm so worried. What do I do?" No, I gotta pay for the house that he's sitting in. That's what I get to do. And as men, we provide. As women, we provide. You know, uh, we have to be responsible. And that's the pathway to peace, to do what is right and follow the Lord. So let's pray. Lord God, Heavenly Father, thank you for another day in your kingdom. Uh, Lord, I love you so much for what you've done in my life, because you've taken me out of the darkness and depression and addiction and, and on so many levels, um, that I know freedom is a spiritual, spiritual and actual reality, um, when we put our faith in you. Lord, so we pray for anyone who's listening, basically that they would follow you and do what is right in their lives, and that you would help them by coming alongside them in their walk of faith and their prayer request. Lord, we just need, need you more than anything. And so I'm going to pray that you go before me, open my eyes to the things you want me to see, and help me to do the things you would have me do. All I want to do is represent you and your kingdom on this earth. And, um, I need all the help I can get. So Lord, I thank you, I praise you, and I love you. And I pray all these things in the mighty name of Jesus. Amen.