Friends to the Bitter End – Friendship Myths # 7 Purity 1339

To see today's photo, go to mt4christ.org or follow me, M.t. Clark, on Facebook or Twitter. Good morning! Today's photo of an early morning view of Stuyvesant Falls, shrouded in shadows as the sun illuminates trees that surround them, comes to us from yours truly as I dive back into my phone's photo archive to discover this memory. From the morning of August 22nd, 2020. When I reflected on this photo, I thought this was on the other side of victory, as my exodus to my new home down by the river had only been a couple of months behind me. Although I was still working two jobs at the time, I was positively filled with joy and took advantage of every moment to celebrate, even the time after going to the dump and before going to work. Made the best of my time for those few hours in between things. Well, it's Tuesday, and I'm happy to report that my joy and my freedom have actually increased since those happy days in 2020, as I have continued to walk in the Spirit, and the Lord has continued to bless me with new opportunities and new friends along the way. However, we know from experience that the friends we make today and walk with may not be with us further down the road. As I looked back into my photo archive before 2020, I saw some old familiar faces, friends now gone from my life. Some have gone into eternity and others moved, moved out of my life as circumstances revealed that we weren't as close as I thought we were and their loyalties lied elsewhere, or laid, lay elsewhere. I hold no ill will toward them and we I would still consider them friends, I suppose, but because of time, circumstances, and distance, we don't hang out anymore. And because I know now how disloyal they revealed themselves to be, I'm not sure if we would— if that would change even if they got closer geographically. And that brings us to our current series on friendship myths and today's myth, which was inspired by Sarah Epstein's 2022 Psychology Today article on Destructive Beliefs About Friendship. Today's myth is friendship means pledging eternal loyalty. Epstein's Commentary states friendships can guide us through our most traumatic life periods. Friends are there when school is hard, when work is unfulfilling, and when family members feel unreasonable. This deep support can give rise to a deep sense of loyalty toward the friendship. But help from a friend does not warrant eternal loyalty if the friendship begins to sour. Friends earn each other's loyalty through continual input into the relationship and working together to grow that— the friendship. While a good friendship in one moment deserves gratitude and perhaps the benefit of the doubt and the opportunity to rectify issues, eternal loyalty is simply unreasonable. Those were Epstein's comments, and I just have to say, oof, that one comment— help from a friend does not warrant eternal loyalty— seemed downright ungrateful, cold, or self-serving. Uh, thanks for helping, bye, see ya. And I think many of us can relate to being hurt by people that we thought were our friends, only to realize that they only wanted something from us. And when our task was completed, we found ourselves left alone, struggling with the realization that we were being used more than building a friendship. In those instances, as bad as it is, I suppose that we were given the blessing of discovering their true colors sooner rather than later. So that stinks. But when the shoe is on the other foot, when we think we need to be loyal to the people who have helped us to the bitter end, We need to realize, as Epstein states, that friends earn each other's loyalty through continual input into the relationship and working together to grow the friendship. If there is no continual input in the relationship by both friends— into the relationship by both friends— and if both parties aren't working to grow the friendship, we have to realize that while we should express our gratitude for things done in the past, doesn't necessarily mean that we have to guarantee the same level of fellowship, camaraderie, or loyalty in the future. If our relationships are one-sided, where we are the ones loyally giving of ourselves while the other party barely shows up or continually disappoints or is just headed in a different direction than we are, it's okay to reconsider our loyalty to that friend. And seek to establish boundaries that will match their level of friendship. If the friendship would disappear if not for our— for your efforts, it may be best to let it fade away so we can invest ourselves in relationships where we can receive as much as we give. I have been disappointed by a few friends over the years, and as painful as it was to discover that we weren't as close as I thought I thought, or that they were not as trustworthy as I thought. I am still thankful for the help they gave me and the lessons I learned, both bad and good, through knowing them. The word says we are to love one another, and so we should. However, it also tells us to avoid bad company, and when others fail to return the love you give or walk in ways that are contrary to where God would lead us, It's okay to separate ourselves from them and invest ourselves in relationships where the love and effort is mutual and where our loyalty to God can hold us together. Today's Bible verse comes to us from the Quick Scripture Reference for Counseling by John G. Kruis. This morning's meditation verse comes from the section on death and eternal life, and today's verse is John 3:36. And where Jesus— in the New American Standard Bible, where Jesus said, he who believes in the Son has eternal life, but he who does not obey the Son will not see life, but the wrath of God abides in him. Today's verse is the third of four passages of scripture that fall under the 19th point of our Counseling Reference Guide's resource section on Daphne. Eternal life. And that 19th point is: all who believe in Jesus will have eternal life. Today's verse, uh, are the words of Jesus, and he makes it clear that if we don't obey the Son, we will not see life, and the wrath of God will be upon us. With verses like this, how could anyone possibly believe that there is more than one way to God? He who believes in the Son, Jesus, very specifically, has life. Period. And it is very interesting here how the Lord contrasts belief with the failure to obey the Son. I mean, what does Jesus mean when he says those who fail, fail to obey the Son will not see life? Why obey? Because Jesus told us to. He commands us to believe in him and believe in me. In John 14:1, Jesus said, let not your hearts be troubled. You believe in God, believe also in me. In John 5:24, he says, most assuredly I say to you, he who hears my word and believes in him who sent me has everlasting life and shall not come into judgment. But has passed from death into life. Then to draw that out more, we have John 12:44-50, where then Jesus cried out and said, he who believes in me believes not in me but in him who sent me. And I'll just say God. And he also said, and he sees— he who sees me sees him who sent me. God again. I have come as a light into the world, that whoever believes in me should not abide in darkness. And if anyone hears my words and does not believe, I do not judge him, for I did not come to judge the world but to save the world. He who rejects me and does not receive my words has that which judges him. The word that I have spoken will judge him in the last day. For I have not spoken on my own authority, but the Father who sent me gave me a command, what I should say and what I should speak. And I know that his command is everlasting life. Therefore, whatever I speak, just as the Father has told me, so I speak. He was speaking for God. From yesterday and a little more, Jesus said in John 3:16-18, For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have everlasting life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through him might be saved. He who believes in him is not condemned, but he who does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten Son. Again, that's Jesus. And from the Apostle John in John 20:30-31, John wrote, "And truly Jesus did many other signs in the presence of his disciples which are not written in this book. But these are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that believing you may have life in his name." So we are to obey Jesus and receive eternal life by believing in him. We are saved by faith in Jesus, and to do anything else than to believe in him is to reject the life that God has for us in eternity. So be obedient and keep on believing and share the gospel so that others can obey and believe and live. As always, I invite all to go to mtforchrist.com, uh, where I always share insights from prominent Christian theologians and can— counselors to assist my brothers and sisters in Christ with their walk. Today we continue sharing from According to Your Word: Morning and Evening Through the New Testament by Stephen F. Alford. And in Alford's devotional, he prompts us to read a chapter of scripture each day, and today's chapter is Acts 10. From Acts 10, he shares portions of Acts 10:34-35. The Word of God says, God shows no partiality Whoever fears him and works righteousness is accepted by him. And Stephen Alford writes, these verses contain the message that Peter preached to Cornelius and his house. When analyzed, it is very instructive to observe the whole gospel in it, such as Christ commanded all disciples to teach. God is no respecter of persons, verse 34. There is no difference, for all have sinned, Romans 3:22-23. And yet all are entitled through the acceptance in faith to the preaching peace through Jesus Christ. He is Lord of all, Acts 10:36. God has sent a Savior, verse 38, whose life attested his divine mission and power. The Savior His death by crucifixion, verse 39. The Savior, His resurrection, verse 40. God raised Him from the dead, thus setting His seal upon His life and death atoning. The Savior, the forgiver of sins to all who believe in Him, verse 43. The sovereign work of the Holy Spirit in the lives of all those who believe, verse 44. Then he commanded them to be baptized in the name of the Lord. Verse 48. And so, and then Alford ends by praying, Lord, let the gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ be preached clearly and completely. Amen. Yeah, Alford really draws out all that, you know, that interaction from Peter and Cornelius, all the elements of the of the gospel, that we're to believe in the Savior and His resurrection and to obey Him and to receive the atoning work He's done and to be baptized in the name of the Lord. And that's where we come in. We believe, and then the next, you know, we obey the command to believe Jesus by making Him our Lord and Savior. Well, we're supposed to keep on believing and keep on obeying. We're supposed to follow Jesus, pick up our cross and follow after him. And he did command believers to be baptized, to make a decision and basically to show the world that I believe in Jesus Christ by publicly being baptized. You unite yourself to the Lord and you go under the baptismal waters to signify your death to this world, and you raise— arise out of the baptismal waters to signify your life in Christ. And it's symbolic, it's spiritual, and it's really something we should do if we haven't done it. I myself was baptized in 2013. New York City while on a work trip at Hillsong Church. I don't know, I'm not saying you have to go to Hillsong Church or believe in what they do there, but they preach the gospel for sure. And, you know, I felt the call and I didn't want to wait for the next opportunity at my local church. Church. When they talked about baptism, I said, you know, this is something I need to do. I put my faith in Jesus in 2010 through a radio message, but I hadn't been baptized. Frankly, I had to find a church, and although I found one, they didn't have baptisms at the time, or I avoided them like the plague. I'm not— I don't recall exactly. I didn't know if I felt the need, but in 2013 I did feel the need. And as fate would have it, it was the day of the Boston bombings, April 15th, I believe, 2013. And basically the New York City, because of the terrorist bombing in Boston, New York City was a police state. There was a million, you know, there was hundreds if not thousands of police in the streets with full body armor and weapons, and searches were happening. And when I was going uptown on the subway to get baptized, I really had a sense that I was leaving the world behind and the world was a dangerous place. And I was, you know, going further into my faith, and it was really a wonderful experience. There was so much fear in the streets that day, but after I got baptized, I walked out and there was the bright, bright lights of Times Square, and everything seemed new. I really felt the sense of the Holy Spirit with me in a very tangible way. That evening, and ever since. If you haven't been baptized, you should. And then, and it's not just some form of, you know, faithfulness. It is, but it's cementing yourself to Jesus in a very public way, showing that, yeah, I'm gonna follow you and I don't care what anyone thinks. So we encourage that type of faith, that we don't worry about what men think, we worry about what God thinks. And so we go forth, you know, today, uh, in the world of men to do what we have to do, but, uh, at the same time always point to Jesus. So that's why we do the blog and the podcast. And, um, you know, so let me encourage you Follow the Lord. Anyway, let's pray. Lord God, Heavenly Father, thank you for another day in your kingdom. Uh, we thank you so much for all that you've done in our lives to set us free, progressively, continually. Um, Lord, we try to obey you as much as we can, but we need your help. And Lord, we pray for anyone who's listening or reading today's message, that you come alongside them and their prayer requests and their walk of faith, because they need your help too. Lord, um, so we pray for you to go before all of us today. Open our eyes to the things you want us to see and lead us in the way we should go. That's all we want to do is represent you, your kingdom here on earth, and we desperately need your help for that. Lord, we thank you, we praise you, we love you, and we pray all these things in the mighty name of Jesus. Amen.