Relapse – The Ghost of Christmas Past is Coming For You! - Purity 1224

To see today's photo, go to mt4christ.org or follow me, M.t. Clark, on Facebook or Twitter. Good morning. Today's photo of an angelic cloud-filled blue sky over my favorite tree, which is just off of Freedom Road, comes to us from yours truly as I captured this scene while out walking with my canine friend Harley near my countryside home Saturday afternoon. Well, it's— well, when it's daylight, you can't say I'm walking the dog because Harley and I have developed a tenuous relationship of trust, and I allow him to go off leash. This relationship of trust has been violated at times, as Harley will sometimes go where he is not supposed to, disappear into the woods, or roll around in something smelly, causing me to chastise him and myself for giving him too much freedom. But it's been a while, not too long although, um, uh, since he has violated my trust. And yesterday I pondered whether or not he has been set free of his bad habit of rolling in filth. Uh, with Harley, I can forgive him wandering a little bit, or even of running off out of sight for a while. He thankfully has always come back, but when he dive bombs into something gross, I get upset and he gets a shower. Anyway, it's Monday, and while I'm happy to announce that Harley didn't go back to his bad habit this weekend, I humbly have to admit I can't say that for myself. While I have freedom over alcohol, drugs, and sex addiction, my current war campaign has been with food addiction. And although I have made tremendous strides in fighting the good fight of repentance, awareness, and accountability to come to a place where I have dropped 40 pounds and I'm in the best physical shape I have ever been in all my life. Yesterday I inexplicably dive-bombed into some holiday sweet treats with reckless abandon, resulting in some shame and a real realization that sin really is a beast that is crouching at the door just waiting to come in and wreak havoc with my health goals and with the confidence I had that I have grown beyond some things. To be clear here, when I say sin, I mean missing the mark of being the person I want to be, the person I believe that God created me to be, the person who is level-headed and exercises wisdom, righteousness, and self-control. If anyone looking at my recent weight loss fears that I might be trying to be perfect, you can rest easy knowing that I food relapsed yesterday and am constantly reminded that I am not anywhere near perfect in any way, shape, or form, and have learned most of what I know through diligent study in the school of hard knocks and through many repetitions of trials and errors. I make the same mistake twice and then some. But as I have learned how I— how to achieve and maintain my freedom over many areas where I was once in bondage, I have become much better for learning from my, from learning from my mistakes, but I am still a work in progress and I'm still learning and growing. I hate the adage that relapse is part of recovery because it really doesn't have to be. Just, just don't do that again, okay? I know, easier said than done, but trust me, your life will be so much easier if you don't. So don't entertain those thoughts to give in just this once, or to just get it over with when the flesh, the world, or the enemy, um, or the enemy try to tempt you to go back to what you are free from. That's fine coming from me, right? Uh, but let's keep it real. My slip in eating my share of stocking stuffer chocolates, Christmas cookies, Rice Krispie Treats, and eggnog yesterday was hardly the end of the world. According to Google, it takes 3 hours for your body to process sugar, so the damage has been done and I will wise up and fly straight going forward. However, even though it is a manageable disaster, I should do what we should all do when a relapse happens: examine it and determine how to avoid it in the future. As a Colts fan, my favorite quarterback has to be Peyton Manning. Although my team didn't appreciate him enough and sent him off to Denver to win another Super Bowl before hanging up his cleats, I will always admire Manning for his talent, skill, love of the game, and his work ethic. In college, Manning's nickname was Caveman because he spent hours upon hours looking at game film to study what happened when he took the field. Through his study, Manning learned tendence— tendencies and patterns of the— of gameplay, and when he saw his opponents line up in certain ways, he had a good idea what was going what was going to happen and became successful because he responded in kind. So, like Manning, in my journey of recovery and obtaining freedom in new areas, I have learned to go to the game film to learn what works and what doesn't. And when I mess up, I try to see what developed to cause the disaster of relapse. So with yesterday's episode of binge eating, I can't— I can see that my failure actually began the night before as I awoke at night to use the bathroom and was half awake— half awake— and decided to have a couple of Atkins keto candy treats before going back to bed. The next morning, I reported them in my food log and let my food addiction sponsor know about the slip and that I had gone over on my food plan the night before by 270 calories and 2 carbs. Not the end of the world, right? Right. But that giving in into eating candy was like the former alcoholic who decided to test his fortitude and just have a couple of beers because he's free and because of having a beer isn't a sin, drunkenness is. If you can do that, that's wonderful, but generally, if you are in recovery, you really shouldn't do that because if you— if it because it has, uh, let's see, because your small success tends to set you up for a big, a big failure, like my talking right there. It's like lighting a match and blowing it out, but the ember of your addiction has been activated, and things have a way of spontaneously combusting into a 4-alarm fire. Uh, so in a semi-daze, I had a couple of pieces of candy and And that got my flesh thinking about doing that again. To give you a wider context, I also had planned to indulge in some stocking stuffer chocolate candies when Christmas came already. I have prepared— I have prepared for Christmas— I had— I have prepared for Christmas and my kids' candy and had my kids' candy divided and bagged and when I did that, I put a share aside for myself. So I was, I was going to allow myself to eat the candy in the name of Christmas cheer in a few days anyway, but honestly, I was pondering whether or not I should and had been entertaining the idea of giving my candy to someone else. Also yesterday, I finished my Christmas shopping. Out of a sense of guilt and wanting to give my adult children a good Christ— Christmas in my absence, I bought them some food for a holiday feast, which which included cookies, Rice Krispie Treats, and eggnog. Yeah, those last 3 items I relapsed on weren't supposed to be for me. Anyway, yesterday after shopping, I realized I had to wrap presents and decided to get in the holiday spirit by putting on some Christmas music, putting on a muted football game while I, while I wrapped, just like in the old days. Of course, in the old days I probably would have been drinking mass quantities of beer and eating mass quantities of tailgating food to boot. But even though those are logical impossibilities now, chowing down my Christmas candy early was apparently an option. While I knew I shouldn't at all, or should at least wait until Christmas to indulge, the enemy, or my own pondering, decided to just get it over with. With. And so I gave into temptation and didn't just have some, I ate all my chocolates and helped myself to some of the cookies, eggnog, and Rice Krispie treats that I had bought for my kids. Um, and I took a few pieces of their stocking candy too, and I made it a meatball night as well. Uh, meatballs of course are not restricted on my food plan, but I didn't bother counting them like I normally do because after this sugar relapse, there really was no point in knowing how bad it was or how much I was over on calories or carbs because I was way over. There was no way I couldn't be because of the sheer volume of candy alone. If you struggle with food addiction and are counting the cost of your foods and are attempting to do keto, you can have 1 or maybe 2 pieces of candy in a day, but that's it. I was over on carbs in less than a minute. So I got nostalgic and mindless and gave into the common relapse call to just get it over with. But we'll learn from this mistake. So beware, relapse, the Ghost of Christmas Past is coming for you too. So learn from my mistake by one, not sentimentalizing and using Christmas as an excuse for reckless abandon. Stay true to your goals for sobriety and face the facts that even a little bit may be too much for your addiction. Elimination, not moderation, may be the key you need to use to stay free. 2. Not giving in to guilt and overspending to give people a "good Christmas." The day comes and goes and usually our last-minute efforts miss the mark of satisfying people anyway. And are usually silly. Number 3, not bringing in substances into your homes, uh, that you struggle with. Access— don't give yourself easy access to the things that will tempt you and cause you to fall. Number 4, don't give in to— don't give in to the 'just get it over with' mentality. Relapse is not inevitable, but if But we have to be smart by limiting access, taking the way of escape, and by calling for help. Phone a friend or call out, cry out to Jesus in prayer when we are trying, when we are thinking about giving in. We need to call help to get help. When we fall, we have to learn from our mistakes. Go to God and seek His help. Confess, confess, confess. And renounce the lies that you believe that made you relapse, uh, and announce the truth that sets you free. Anyway, we move along to the next section, which is today's Bible verse, uh, comes to us from the Quick Scripture Reference for Counseling by John G. Cruis. This morning's meditation verse comes from the section on, uh, church discipline. It's Matthew 16:19, and the Word of God says, "I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven, and whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven." Today's verse falls, falls under the seventh point of our Counseling Reference Guide's resource section on church discipline, and that seventh point is Christ has given the keys of the kingdom to the church. Today's verse reminds us that we have the keys to the kingdom, and what we bind on earth stays bound, and what we loose stays loose. I am short on time, so I will liken this to the gospel. We can set people free by sharing it, so share it. But the knowledge can also cause sinners to rebel and stay locked in their sins. So speak the truth in love and use your authority for good. To set the captives free. As always, I invite all to go to mt4christ.org, where I always share insights from prominent Christian theologians and counselors to assist my brothers and sisters in Christ with their walk. Today we're sharing from God Is in the Manger from Dietrich Bonhoeffer. And we're off schedule, but we'll make up for it at the end, uh, because we're on Advent Week 3, Redemption, Day 6, and Bonhoeffer's message called Overcoming Fear. And Bonhoeffer writes, human beings are dehumanized by fear, but they should not be afraid. We should not be afraid. That is the difference between human beings and the rest of creation, that in all hopelessness, uncertainty, and guilt, they know a hope. And this is— and this hope is thy will be done. Yes, thy will be done. We call the name of the One before whom the evil in us cringes, before whom fear and anxiety must themselves be afraid, before whom they shake and take flight, the name of the One who alone conquered fear, captured it and led it away in a victory parade, nailed it to the cross and banished it to nothingness, the name of the One who is nailed The name of the one who is the victory cry of the humanity that is redeemed from the fear of death: Jesus Christ, the one who was crucified and lives. He alone is the lord of fear. It, it knows him as its lord and yields to him alone. Therefore, look to him in your fear. Think about him. Place him before your eyes and call him. Pray to him and believe that he is now with you and helps you. The fear will yield and fade, and you will become free through faith in the strong and living Savior Jesus Christ. Like I said, call out to Jesus. Now that last thing was me. Um, this next thing is, um, from a message called, um, that Bonhoeffer wrote called Coming of Jesus in Our Midst. Only when we have felt the terror of the matter can we recognize the incomparable kindness. God comes into the very midst of evil and death and judges the evil in us and in the world. And by judging us, God cleanses and sanctifies us, comes to us with grace and love. God wants to always be with us, whenever we may be, wherever we may be, in our sin, suffering, and death. We are no longer alone. God is with us. That's from Bonhoeffer's message, The Coming of Jesus in Our Midst. And finally, the resource shares Matthew 8:23-27, where Jesus said— well, where the Word of God says, and when he got into the boat, his disciples followed him. A windstorm arose on the sea so great that the boat was about— was being swayed by the waves. But he was asleep, and they went and woke him up, saying, Lord, save us! We are perishing! And he said to them, why are you afraid, you of little faith? Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the sea, and there was a dead, dead calm. They were amazed, saying, what sort of man is this that even the winds and sea obey him? That was all from today's sharing from Dietrich Bonhoeffer's God Is in the Manger for day 6, week 3. I am short on time, so we're gonna go right to prayer. Lord God, Heavenly Father, thank you for your forgiveness. Lord, we ask you for forgiving us for our relapse, um, to giving into the flesh against wisdom and, uh, and, and against the self-control that I have. Lord, thank you for, um, loving me and forgiving me even when I mess up. Um, but, uh, thank you for also encouraging me to change and to not do it again. Lord, I repent of the mistake I made, and I ask for your forgiveness and help, uh, to, you know, to know what's healthy and good and to be a good steward towards my body. Lord, we ask for your help every day, and we're doing it again today. We're asking for your help for, uh, our friends who may be listening or reading today's message, and we pray for you to come alongside them in their prayer requests and their walk of faith and to help them from giving in to things they shouldn't. Lord, we all need your help every day, and we just pray for you to go before us today, open our eyes to the things you want us to see, and lead us in the way we should go, because all we want to do is represent you in your kingdom and be the people you created us to be. So we thank you, we praise you, we love you, and we pray all these things in the mighty name of Jesus. Amen.