Spending Time Together – Friendship Myths #1 - Purity 1333

To see today's photo, go to mt4christ.org or follow me, M.t. Clark, on Facebook or Twitter. Good morning. Today's photo of a pleasant summer— summertime scene featuring a grassy pathway and a pair of trees so close together that my iPhone wanted to make the two become one and create a sticker, uh, comes to us from an unknown Facebook friend who shared this photo on social media on or around July 27th, 2021. This memory is yours, and you'd like to be acknowledged for your photography skills, give me a heads up and I'll update the blog after the fact. Well, it's Tuesday, and as— and my mind is on the topic of friendship this morning because recent circumstances have pushed it to the forefront of my attention. Our weekend Bible study with the Sankatis was on friendship, and a prayer ministry session I led last night touched on the subject as well. The person I led through an Emmanuel-style real prayer session last night recalled painful memories of rejection, and when the Lord was asked to reveal the lies they believed after having suffered rejection from someone they thought was their friend, one of the lies was that friendship means that you have continuous interactions with one another. That might not seem like a lie necessarily. It seems more like a definition of friendship, albeit one that is rather simplistic. But when you believe that lie and push it to extremes, you can establish a whole host of beliefs that can cause you to undervalue the relationships you do have, feel rejected, unwanted, unlovable, unworthy, inadequate, or different, or develop behaviors and attitudes that make you unfriendly or needy that will paradoxically drive away the potential friends that you so desperately want. While it is true that friendships do require some level of interaction between the parties, uh, the subject of last night's prayer ministry session believed that for a relationship to be a quote-unquote real friendship, it meant that you had— you would spend time together or be in conversation on a regular, if not daily, basis. They lamented the fact that they didn't have many close friendships. Are close relationships, but also testify that one of their acquaintances stated that they were friends, um, and this person pointed to their lack of continuous interaction to make the case that they weren't really friends, which in turn, I'm almost positive, only made this acquaintance all the more distant. Anyway, uh, the Lord used last night's prayer session to show this person that the things they were believing about friendship and about themselves were not true and even pointed out how these false beliefs that they believed, that they believed, impacted and drove them into their negative cycles of thoughts and behaviors. The false belief, the false beliefs that this person, the false beliefs this person believed included, I don't have any friendships with people of the same sex, This was revealed not to be true. They did have friendships with members of the same sex, and some good ones, but they undervalued them because of the lack of continuous interaction they believed was necessary for "real friendship." This false belief was also shown to be a root cause of their struggles with sexual immorality—that they only related to and thus craved the attention of people of the opposite sex. Even if it was only for "friendship." But I know from leading several people through the Steps to Freedom in Christ that emotionally bonding to someone of the opposite sex is really a smokescreen for sin, as it treads thin ice and can and usually does violate the Lord's commandments regarding coveting, at least, and more than likely adultery, as friendships with with the opposite sex invite the temptations of the evil one, who is content to have you just imagine the sexual sins you would like to perform physically but only keep to the confines of your mind. Jesus tells us this is wrong in Matthew 5:27-28, where he said, you have heard that it was said to those of old, you shall not commit adultery. But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. But beyond the sexual immorality resulting from the feelings of rejection, this person believed that their lack of real friendships with people of the same sex with continuous interactions meant that they were unacceptable, causing the Lord to have, have them announce and then renounce the lie that I am unwanted unloved, or there's something wrong with me. This drove, you know, this belief drove low self-esteem and caused the subject to be guarded in their relationships with others, and it would cause them to put unrealistic expectations and undue strain on potential friendships. Their being guarded would make them seem distant, causing other people to stay away, and their expectation for continuous interaction caused potential friends to back away from their, quote unquote, neediness. The Lord revealed the lies regarding themselves as not true. He loved them so others could, but they needed to: A) believe they were accepted in Christ for sure and by others. While they may not have had what they envisioned as ideal friendships, they did in fact have friends. And B) they had to accept and appreciate the friendships they do have. And C) not seek their fulfillment in friendship, and certainly without people of the opposite sex as they are married and have sexual immorality issues. And finally, D) they had to be willing to be friends with others in less than ideal or continuous ways. Overall, it was an amazing session of the Lord showing his continuous interactions with us as his followers, and it revealed how the enemy can twist even good things like the concept of friendship to drive people into separation and pain. So don't believe the lie that you don't have quote-unquote real friends unless you are in continuous contact with one another. Instead, remember that you will always have a friend in Jesus, and that makes you accepted, loved, significant, and secure, and When you stand in your identity in Christ, you can be confident in loving your neighbors as yourself, even if it means you won't be best friends forever. Today's Bible verses come to us from the Quick Scripture Reference by, uh, for Counseling by John G. Cruis. This morning's meditation verses come from the section on death and eternal life, and today's verses are John 10:14-15. Where Jesus said, I am the Lord, I am the Good Shepherd. I know my own and my own know me, just as the Father knows me and I know the Father. And I lay down my life for the sheep. Today's verses fall under the 15th point of our Counseling Reference Guide's resource section on death and eternal life. And that 15th point is: Jesus, the Good Shepherd, laid down his life for his sheep. Today's verses show us the immense love that Jesus has for us. He was willing to die for us so that we could live with him forever. He is the Good Shepherd, and he calls us to know him and his love for us. So we should rejoice in having a friend in Jesus and follow where his example, words, and spirit lead. As always, I invite all to go to M.t. Clark.org, where I always share insights from prominent Christian theologians and counselors to assist my brothers and sisters in Christ with their walk. Today we continue sharing from According to Your Word: Morning and Evening Through the New Testament by Stephen F. Allford. In his devotional, Allford directs us to read a chapter of Scripture from the New Testament. Today's chapter is Acts 4, and from Acts 4 he shares a portion of Acts 4:19 which says: Whether it is right in the sight of God to listen to you more than to God, you judge. And Stephen Alford writes: These words were spoken by Peter and John to the rulers of the people and elders of Israel. They express the spirit of boldness and faithfulness which had stirred these poor fishermen to speak the things which they had seen and heard. Verse 20: The apostles themselves confess they simply were compelled to speak from— for their master, whatever the rulers and elders had to say. Notice that their testimony was given in the sight of God. Here was faithfulness. There were no ulterior motives or selfish desires. There was no attempt to please man. They were certain of the rightness of their testimony, for it was in the sight of God. Alford ends by praying, 'Oh Lord, inspire me with this zeal and holy boldness. Grant to your servant that with all boldness I may speak your word. Amen.' Amen. And yes, we need to be bold and speak the word of the Lord because the Lord is alive and active in the world, uh, as my prayer ministry session last night shows me continually, um, and through my own experience of walking and talking with God, that God is with us. And, um, you know, he's— his indwelling Holy Spirit comes into every believer. Everyone who puts their faith in Jesus receives the Holy Spirit, a promise. And the indwelling Spirit is in us to direct our path if we, if we don't quench the Spirit, we listen. Um, the Lord will direct you and convict you to do what's right, and that includes getting to know him more. And if you have a compulsion that you're not living a good Christian life, it's probably because you're not. Or it could be a condemnation from the enemy. It depends on who you are and what you're doing. If you're reading the Word of God on a daily and praying and trying to avoid sin, not falling into it on a regular basis, it's probably condemnation. However, if you're, if you're living a lifestyle of sin like I once did and wanted to be in the kingdom and forgiven, which I was, um, you know, you're not going to have harmony. And you know, that conviction, it's— if, if you're getting things like you're not a real Christian, that's condemnation. If you're getting a conviction to change, stop, go into recovery, confess your sins, you stop the bad things you're doing, turn over a new leaf, that's probably the Holy Spirit, um, you know, directing you to do what's right. That's called the call to repentance. And when we answer it, um, God grants us repentance. He gives us the power to overcome. And it might not be an instantaneous process. It's a matter of crucifying the flesh, changing our thoughts, and rejecting those lies that we believed that are insidious and could come from good and wholesome things like friendship, or, you know, our family values, or, you know, things we were taught as children that were well-intentioned but became twisted in our minds and by, you know, the world's influences or the enemy's influences. So we have to be aware. Anyone who ever told you blind faith is the way to go While there's a certain, you know, our faith should never be blind. We should know, we should read the word, see it, and then see where God is in the world, in our lives, and follow that. Now, sometimes we have to go with faith over feelings for sure, but we should never be blind in our faith. And it's not some, you know, some sort of trick where if I just, you know, if I just believe and ignore all the facts of life, um, you know, everything will be okay. Or, you know, I'll convince myself, I'll deceive myself. And in essence, it's not like that. It's a matter of realizing that as hard as it is to believe, the word of God is true. And while we don't understand it fully, the Lord will reveal that truth to us as we walk with him. On a continuous— if you like continuous things— on a continuous basis when we walk with him. He's the one who doesn't mind spending time with you all the time, but, you know, we can't handle that. We can't handle that. And plus, we have things to do. We have our human relationships and meeting our responsibilities on the earth. We can keep the Lord with us a lot, and we can walk and talk with him through our day, but, you know, our lives will demand us to divide our attention and maybe not perfectly walk with him every second of every moment. But we can always, if we realize we've gone astray, we can always reestablish our connection with the Lord through prayer. Lord, help me here. Oh Lord, what's going on? Lord, forgive me. You know, these are some of the things I say, uh, throughout the day. It's called walking in the Spirit, or, you know, lifestyle of Christian discipleship, where we consider what God would have us do and we try to do it. Not so we'll be good and approved, because we're already approved, but because we want to We want to live the life, the abundant life that the Lord has for us that's defined by peace, joy, and love. And that comes from living a lifestyle of obedience. It's not a heavy burden, it is a light burden, and it leads to peace. I personally have increasing peace as I look at my calendar and there's lots, lots of X's on the last week meaning that the parameters of my food plan have been followed. Um, yeah, so we're looking good, you know. So the scale might not agree, but, uh, you know, sometimes I wonder if those things are demonically, uh, influenced. But either way, we accept the truth of what the scale says, and we realize the error of our ways over the last several months. It seems to have slipped up a bit. We're waiting for a good report to change that, but we're going to move forward. One of the lies I believed in my food addiction was that more is better, or sweet is good, you know, these fundamental lies. More food is better than less food, or adequate food. What is adequate food? More food is good. Sweet food. I gotta have something sweet. I have to. I must. That's, you know, you can see where that's bad. You know, it goes from sweet food is good to I must have it. Whoa, what happened? There's a lie there somewhere. We pushed it to an extreme. That's an earmark of the enemy. When things get pushed to an extreme, that's usually, and at least leads to must and that leads to must in the flesh, that's usually the enemy pushing us. The worst thing I can tell you that you must consume something, you must have something. No, Lord, you know, Psalm 23 says, Lord, I shall not want, whereas I must is sort of the opposite of that. So we must do what is right. In all things give thanks to the Lord. We can do that. I think that's okay to put that into a must category. But when it comes to the flesh, that's when we're in trouble. And yeah, and like this man, this person said they didn't have any friends. You know, they did have friends. They didn't have, you know, the idealized friends the enemy said they should have. Oh well, if they were really your friend, you would do this, that, and the other. Well, maybe your friendships are limited. Maybe that's because of me. Or maybe that's just the way it is and I should appreciate it for what it is. So we challenge the lies of the enemy. We look at our experience through the lens of the biblical worldview and the fruit of the Spirit and God's Holy Word. And that's how we grow. We don't know the things we're being deceived by until we look for the truth. So we look for it in God's Word and through his Spirit. Anyway, that's enough, uh, for me today. Um, I appreciate everyone. I appreciate my friends online, even if I don't know who you are, um, who subscribe to the YouTube channel. If you're a YouTube channel subscriber, you're my friend. Uh, but don't worry, I'm not going to be weird and reach out to you. Um, we're going to just let you, let you listen as you feel led. Uh, whenever you feel like it, and, um, we appreciate it. So let's pray. Lord God, Heavenly Father, thank you for all my friends. Uh, thank you for, for Jesus being my friend. Thank you for being my friend, Lord, um, that, um, you led me out of the darkness and showed me a better way of life, even though I didn't think it would, would be better. Um, you showed me the truth, um, by convicting me and driving me along. Calling me, and I followed. And, um, you really revealed yourself to be my best friend, Lord. Um, so Lord, we pray for our other friends, uh, who might be listening or reading today's message, that you come alongside them and their prayer request and show them your friendship, Lord. Um, that would, you know, bless them or, you know, guide them into and through difficult, uh, difficult paths. Um, to the other side, because we know that's where we grow too, Lord. So we just thank you, um, and for everything you do. And we ask you to go before us today, open our eyes to the things you want us to see, and lead us in the way we should go, because all we want to do is represent you, our friend, uh, in your kingdom, Lord. Um, so please help us. And, uh, Lord, we thank you, we praise you, we love you. We pray all these things in the mighty name of Jesus. Amen.