Mustafa describes three signs of genuine healing: pausing before reacting, needing less external validation, and losing interest in drama. He calls this quieter, more selective way of being "original selfishness," not apathy or weakness, but a nervous system recalibrating toward safety.
Here are 3 subtle signs that you're healing. Because healing is not always about fireworks and breakthroughs and great transformational external achievements. Sometimes it looks like losing interest in drama or simply wanting some time alone. So here are the 3 subtle signs. First, you pause before you react because you're actually listening. I used to have this problem with certain people, especially people around me back in the day, that they thought I needed a lot of time to make a decision. Sometimes certain people thought that my brain is not processing information fast enough, but I'll tell you, my brain is one of the fastest processors out there, but that's another topic for another day. However, what I was doing, and I still do, I just got much, much more efficient at it over the years and practice, is that I'm listening. Mm-hmm. To my limitless self, to my authentic self before I respond. Another thing is, another sign is you stop needing or seeking validation because your truth is enough. I also had this problem again back in the day, especially people in my intimate relationships would tell me, "Why didn't you tell them about your achievements? Why didn't you tell them about how great you are? You were the group leader. You should have been more outspoken." I'm like, "I don't need it. I know who I am, and who I am is enough." Now there's a third one, and this is actually one of the signs that I often hear from working with clients after 10 or 20 sessions, they come to me and say, "Mustafa, we feel weirdly bored, like we're no longer interested or excited about many, many things that used to excite us or interest us before." And I tell them that's a great great step towards healing. It's a great sign of transformation because you're no longer interested. Your body and mind are no longer fed by drama and noise. Noise and drama and all those things are no longer of interest to you. Hemi? I start losing interest even in watching action movies and drama TV shows and— because like, I don't need that anymore. My limitless self, my authentic self is more enjoyable. You start really injoying yourself. You become injoy. With yourself. And that joy is much, much deeper than the drama and the chaos and the life that people think is exciting, but to you, as a more healed or transmuted individual, no longer want it. Thank you. I know in the beginning it will not feel very enjoyable. It would feel unfamiliar, and sometimes people around you are gonna judge you, like you've become a loner, you're possibly withdrawn, there's something wrong with you, are you afraid of social settings? But it's none of that if you're doing the work. The right way, it simply means that your nervous system is now recalibrating to safety and neutrality. And there lives real power. Because now you're not reacting out of fear of missing out, as we spoke about in one of the previous videos, or you're reacting to somebody trying to upset you or whatever, you are responding by first listening to your authentic self and then acting to your own best interest. Not in a self-centered negative way, but in the purity of the authentic self's selfishness. Yes, there is an authentic, pure, I would call it original selfishness. And that is in reality for the benefit of all of the people and beings even that deserve that from you. Because there is a kind of selfishness that is negative. That's when you are oriented towards your egoic needs and your impulses and just want things your way at the expense of other people. But there is a pure— I would call it original selfishness— in which if you are centering your interests and priorities around that authentic self, then all of the people who deserve your care and deserve your time and space will benefit from it. And if they don't, then it means they don't deserve to be in your reality. You're no longer gonna be interested in wasting the most precious gift of time on people who don't deserve it, no matter how much they're gonna guilt-trip you in the beginning that you've become narcissistic and selfish. But again, that's another topic for another day. So for now, if you are quieter, less reactive, more selective, It's not regression. It is refinement. Believe me, you're not losing your passion. You're not losing your edge. You're gaining your depth. Keep on going.
