4 Brand New Belief Systems For Your Best Interview Yet

Hello, hello! This is episode 219 of the Get a 6-Figure Job You Love and Thrive podcast, and today I'm talking about 4 brand new belief systems for your best interview yet. Stay tuned. All right, welcome to the podcast or to the video, whatever you're watching today or listening to today. So I had several people at one time ask me for the same thing, so I thought, oh, of course I have to create a podcast episode on this, for which I have a lot of podcast episodes all tying into this topic. But most of the time I get people asking me, I have an interview tomorrow, I need to prepare. Can you please give me your best tips, your best information right now so I can get ready for it? Because I don't want to blow this. Okay, so if that's you, if you've asked me for something like that, this is the episode that I prepared for you. And if you have an interview coming up or you just are actively interviewing, this will be incredibly helpful for you too, as well as if you're going into any meeting. So if you're going into any meeting that you might be nervous for, or it's a raise conversation, or anything that you are not sure how it's going to go, this is going to help you tremendously. Okay, so let's dive into the 4 beliefs. So the first one is that you need to take the pressure off. So we need to figure out what is that belief that's putting so much pressure on you, because when you're feeling pressure, you're not going to be at your best. Okay, and some of you might say, yeah, but I work really well under pressure. Okay, well, Go with that. But for most people, I find that when they put a lot of pressure on themselves, they don't tend to perform at their best. And this is me too. So when we say things to ourselves like, I have to get this right, or I don't want to blow this opportunity, or I have to get this, this opportunity is everything. Like when you put a lot of importance on that opportunity, that one opportunity, you tend to inflate it and make it really big and make it a really big deal if you say something wrong. Right? And so this pressure builds, or say something not necessarily wrong, but say something that you think that maybe you shouldn't have said, right? And we'll go into that self-judgment very quickly when you're putting this pressure on yourself, is what I find, right? So the way that we can take this pressure off is by, one, noticing that we are in a bit of a lack mindset, okay? We're thinking we're putting so much on this one opportunity that we're making it so big in our heads that we're making it this opportunity or this one meeting or this one interview responsible for basically what— how our whole career is going to turn out. Now, that might be an exaggeration, but in our minds and in our bodies, a lot of the times I find people do this, right? And they'll— it'll come out because they'll say things like, I don't want to blow this, right? And when you think, oh my God, I don't want to blow this, it's going to be very scary to go in there because any little thing that you do, you might decide that means you've blown it. Right? And of course it's hard not knowing what they're going to ask you or how it's going to go. You can't prepare for every scenario. So when we know we can't do that, there's more opportunities for us to be caught off guard and then kind of beat ourselves up for blowing it or whatever it is that we think that we should have said differently, right? So the way that I found really helps to frame this is instead of believing that this is the one opportunity that is few and far between and it's scarce and you have to do really well at it, believe in the holistic outcome of your ability to create opportunity. It's like, if I got this opportunity, I can get another one. I can get multiple opportunities. There are multiple opportunities available, right? Like, get into that abundance mindset versus that scarcity mindset of focusing on just that one thing. Okay? That being said, there's also other ways to release this pressure. Right? So that's the first way, is noticing if you are in lack mindset of this is the only thing. Like maybe you haven't had an interview in a long time. Maybe you just believe that there's not that many good opportunities available right now. That's a belief that you might wanna look at because that could be holding you back on seeing more and creating more. And also just having that mindset of I gotta get this right. Like there is a right. And wrong. And if I don't get it right, meaning if they don't approve of me, if they don't like what I say, then I've done it wrong. That is like a very black and white mentality that will also not have you showing up as your best, not showing up as your most confident, real self. Okay, so that's the first thing we want to switch that. I don't want to blow this anxiety and pressure and nervousness into this is just one of many opportunities that I'm going to have in my life. And I'm going to do my best at it, but it is just one of many. Okay? So that could be one way to take off that pressure. The second thing I want you to focus on is how you're feeling, right? So the first one, just so that we show how it's a belief system, is believing that there is an abundance of opportunities at any given time. Okay? And if you're not believing that, notice that and notice how that lack mindset and that lack mentality could put a lot of pressure on you for this one opportunity. Okay, secondly, what you are believing about yourself, that will lead to how you feel, how you react, how you respond to unexpected things, and how you perform, for lack of a better word, for how you show up in the interview. Because I don't really believe in the whole performing thing. I believe that we are having a conversation, right? It's a dynamic conversation between 2 people, and it's not about performing. So the how you feel about yourself, what you believe about yourself. Okay, so if say there's 2 different people, right, or 2 different mentalities, one person might be having some self-doubt around themselves, right? They might be like thinking there's a lot on this job description that I don't match the boxes, I'm not really sure I can do this. Maybe they're thinking this role is a little bit above my abilities. Or you could be thinking, same circumstance, same role, could be thinking, yeah, but of course it's above my abilities because that's how you create success is you go for things before you're ready for them. You got this interview for a reason. It's normal for you to create success by going for things that you're not necessarily ready for, because if we wait to be ready for everything, then we'll never do the thing, right? Because we always want to be more prepared with more certifications, with all the information, and that doesn't ever really happen. We learn as we go. We don't actually learn like We were taught in school where you have to study everything and then write the test. That's not really how it works in the real world. We work in a different way. We learn and then we make mistakes and then we learn from those mistakes, right? We learn and we learn way more from our mistakes than we do from our successes. So your belief about yourself, if you have any self-doubt whatsoever, if you have any anxiety around maybe not being good enough for the role, not being able to perform in the role, Maybe you have some anxiety about being overqualified and being told that you're overqualified. It could go either way, right? You want to shift your belief into something more helpful, more useful. And you want— and some suggestions for that might be, I'm in that interview for a reason. There are things that I can contribute here that can be incredibly useful for them, and I'm here to discover what those are. Okay, so the purpose of the interview is to get a feel for whether or not you can help them, whether or not you want to help them, and whether or not they want you to help them, right? So it's like, it's finding a match. It's sorting. It's not performing, okay? It's sorting. So like when we're dating, we're just sorting out who's a fit for us and who's not, right? So that's another really good belief you want to have about interviews and about yourself, right? And a solid belief that you can never go wrong with is also, I will always figure things out. I can always figure it out. Okay, so that's number 2. Number 3 is your belief about what's necessary to prepare for an interview. So this is going to be different for each person, right? Some people are going to want— like, if you've never interviewed before in your whole life, then you might want to get— go through some great stories, some vulnerable stories. I have in my program, I talk about 2 kinds of stories: the ones that are, you know, the hero where you're winning, and the ones where you are vulnerable where you're not winning, and then how you came out on top of that and who are in those situations, right? So if you've never interviewed before in your life, you might want to prepare some of those stories and know what you're going to say for them, right? Just roughly know what you want to talk about and be excited about what you want to share with them. And then if you have interviewed and you know those stories and you've talked about those stories a lot, then you don't need to prepare those so much, right? You want to be able to trust that you know your shit. So. You can bleep that out because I don't normally swear, but in this situation it just felt like natural. So when we're talking about ourselves, we want to have the confidence and the human ability to just know that we know what we're talking about. And when we don't know, having that be okay, right? And so that allows space for a dynamic conversation where you don't have to know everything they're going to ask you because you're okay either way. Right? And you're there just to have this conversation and curiously discover what it is that they need from you. Okay? And whether or not you can and want to provide that. Okay? As far as research goes and preparation, this is something that you can definitely do, and that is research the company itself. Research the people that you're interviewing themselves or interviewing you. Right? And that you're interviewing as well. Definitely you can do that, right? Because let me ask you this. If, say, you were going to take somebody on a date, okay, and you showed up to the date and you were just like, you didn't know really anything about them, okay? Maybe you just know that they physically are attractive, but you didn't know anything about them, okay? You just show up and you're like telling them about all this stuff and you're like, okay, let's go here, let's do this. And you're just, you're kind of winging it. But you don't really know them at all. You don't know anything about them. Now, this might be fine, right? It might work out. The chemistry might be there. It might be great. Or if you looked into them a little bit, you found out maybe what kind of food they like. You found out maybe what kind of experiences they like or what they like to do, and you planned a date for them based on that stuff, right? So maybe you said, hey, I know you like Italian food. So we're going to this Italian restaurant that's just opened up that I think you'll really enjoy, right? That's something that now you know about them that you can then talk about and offer to them, right? Or you might say, hey, I know you really love skating, so I booked some skating for us to go do because I know that you really like that, right? Maybe you asked some of their friends, or maybe you looked into it and you found these things out, right? So that's going to be a very different date. Than if you hadn't looked into them, right? And I'm not saying you have to do it every time, but I'm saying that in these interviews you can actually make a difference by knowing more about them and being able to speak to things that are interesting to them that they like. So if you're the person who's being taken on the date and the person shows up knowing what food you like and knowing what activity you like, you might be really impressed, right? You'd be like, oh, this person did their research. Oh great, I'm excited, right? So that's the difference between not preparing, like figuring out what they like, what they want, what their goals are, as much as you possibly can. And if that information is not available, ask them in the interview. You can ask them things. One question I love people to ask at the beginning is, hey, what stood out to you about my resume and my experience? I'd love to know so that I can go more in detail on that. Other questions are, what would absolutely blow your mind for me to accomplish in the first 6 months if I were to be hired? Of course. What are your priorities right now? What do you mostly putting your focus and time and effort into, right? You can ask these questions in the actual interview, and then you can have things to speak to after that. So you can speak to these points, right? Instead of just preparing on your own in a cave, not knowing, and then you just come up and share information, but maybe it's totally disconnected to what they actually need and want, right? So you're totally able to ask. Okay, so that's number 3. And then 4 is The detachment. Okay, so this is the part that my clients find the hardest. We need to detach from the outcome. We need to detach from what that particular person decides or what that particular company decides, whether or not they hire you or not, right? That is not your business. It's not your business what they decide. Your business is to show up in your most authentic self. Now, I know that sounds cliché. It's like, yes, I know that. I've heard that before. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But It's like if you are energetically attached to the outcome, that repels. Okay. So let me give you an example. It's just another dating example. So when I was dating my partner and we had discussed moving in together, but it hadn't been finalized yet and I didn't want to push it. So I was like, my mentality was I'm going to wait till he's ready because he had his heart broken like the, the soonest. I felt like he was the most fragile emotionally. So I was like, I'm going to let him. Like, take the lead on the speed of this because I don't want to push him. And I could tend to be a bit pushy. I knew that. I'm just like, I could tend to be like, okay, let's go, like, let's move this along. So I decided, and I knew that that pushy energy would just repel him, right? So I said to myself, you know what, I want him to ask to move in together. I want him to move it forward. But if he doesn't want to, that's okay. And hey, you know what, if he doesn't want to, that's okay. Maybe someone else will come along and I'm I'm happy for whatever the outcome is. Like, I knew that my outcome was to have a long-term committed relationship with someone who I really loved and was really good to me. Whether that was him or not, I wasn't attached to that, right? I was like, I really wanted it to be him and I thought it was him, but I wasn't going to do that attached because, like, pushing him to like be like, okay, come on, like, when are we moving in, right? Was attachment, right? So I wasn't gonna do that. I was just like, okay, you know what, I'm just gonna let him Like, come to it when he's ready and he'll make the decision. And then, and if something else comes along in the meantime, then I'm open to that, right? Like, if he takes forever, if he was taking like 2 years to move things forward and I was just like, okay, I'm ready for this, I was going to be open to whatever else was there, right? And that energy attracted him to want to come in and want to say, okay, I think I'm going to put in my notice to my landlord. I've been here for a year. So he was like, I'm going to put in the notice at this time and then I'm going to give him these Like a month's notice, and then I'm gonna— and then I'm thinking that we can move in together, right? It's like that energy attracted him, right? Whereas if I had been pushing and been like, okay, like, what are you gonna give your notice? When are you gonna do this? Like, he would've probably been like, ugh, that's not attractive energy, right? So that applies to a job as well. It applies to being hired. It applies to everything, right? So if you decide you're like, that's the job I want, I have to get that. And then you wanna call them and you wanna keep following up and you wanna keep pushing. That is attached energy. And even if you're not doing that, like you don't allow yourself to actually do it, but you want to notice yourself in that attachment energy. So you wanna, again, coming back full circle from the first point, you wanna come into that belief of there are abundant opportunities. I like what I want is inevitable. I'm getting that anyway. How it comes along is not my business, right? I am just here to enjoy, to show up. to be me, right? My only job is to be me, okay? Be me at my best and be more of me at my best, right? And so that is the secret. We have to detach from the outcome, but we are committed to the end result, right? It's just the how in which that happens is not our business, okay? So detaching from each particular thing. I have another really great episode called— I think it's called Attachment Versus Commitment or something like that, and it talks about how when we're networking or when we're interviewing, the mistake a lot of people make is attaching to that very— that particular person, like wanting something or wanting to get hired by that particular person or organization. And that attachment is what repels things, right? But the holistic goal that we have to get hired by an organization who is high value and who pays us the amount that we want to get paid and who is like has the culture and the environment that we want, right? That is still the what, and that doesn't change, right? We, we don't change that. We want that, and that's our desire, and we're going after that. We just don't attach to each individual thing that might be that along the way, right? That's the difference. So let's recap. Okay, so the first belief is taking the pressure off And intentionally cultivating a belief that will help you to take that pressure off. So some of the examples I used are, you can't mess it up with the right person. You can't mess it up with the right company. Okay? So even if, like, I'll give you an example. This is actually, this is not so much a recap, but it's a new thing. But that's okay. I will do the recap. I had an interview with One of the companies I worked for, for 5 years, and I ended up on a tangent talking about my old boss, and I started kind of talking a little bit badly about her by accident. I saw myself doing it. I found myself doing it. I backtracked. I stopped it, and then I moved on. But it didn't kill the interview vibe because the interview was going so well that they just heard what they wanted to hear. They had already decided. They already had a great experience so far. So just because I was saying some things that I saw myself saying and were like, oh, I wouldn't want to show up like that again, once I noticed I was doing it, it didn't matter. And if you follow my newsletter on LinkedIn, I had some really great posts about how people make decisions, how people use their subconscious to make decisions, and how then they back it up with logic, right? And so what happened in that situation was they had made their decision, they were backing it up with logic, and they were just filtering out what they didn't want to hear or what wasn't relevant to them as far as— backing up making the decision to hire me. So that was a little tangent. But anyways, so first belief, you need to calm down and you need to take the pressure off yourself. Okay, so some ways to do that are to tell yourself different things. So instead of telling yourself, I need to get this right, I don't want to blow this, I have to get all the answers right, assuming there is a right or wrong, instead of that, you want to open up and be curious. And useful. So you want to be like, hey, I wonder how I can help them. I wonder if this is going to be a match. And just treat it as a sorting exercise, right? Treat it as I'm just seeing if this is a match or not. And there's an abundance of opportunities around me all the time. I got this one, I can get another one. Okay, so going out of that lack mindset and into that abundance mindset around opportunities. Okay, we have the internet at our fingertips. We can reach out to so many people. We can connect with so many people. Like, it's We never have a lack of opportunity. Okay? And if we— if our brain tells us that we do, that is a lie. Okay? And it's not helpful. Okay, so the second one is feeling, like deciding what you're going to believe about yourself so that you can decide how you're going to feel about yourself. And that's going to be a foundational belief. So choosing foundational beliefs that will support you in the interview and allow you to show up How you want to show up. Okay, so those would be things like, I always figure it out. I don't have to know all the answers to win this interview. I don't have to know everything. There is no right or wrong answer. This is simply a conversation. This is just a meeting. This is whatever helps you feel more relaxed. Okay. Third, you want to do some research on the specifics so that you can talk about some specifics with them. that they already relate to, get into conversations about what they're doing, and honestly know why you do— are excited about this company, why you want to be a part of it, right? Like, deeply know that. And then also asking questions. So having the belief about yourself that you are somebody who won't just accept any job offer. You are there to discover whether or not you really want to help these people, whether you really want to spend 40 hours of your week putting in your time and energy towards their cause? Okay. And you ask questions like that in order to create that rapport, that expansion in their brain where they think, oh, this person's thinking about that. Oh, that's great. Oh, like you create that expansion and that rapport by the questions that you're going to ask them. Okay. And then fourth is the detachment. So If you find yourself getting attached, if you find yourself thinking, oh, this has to be the opportunity, notice that you might be in scarcity mindset again, thinking that there's limited opportunities, which is not true. And notice about if you're getting attached or not, because attachment will always repel what you want, right? And detachment will always bring it in. And detachment isn't, oh, I don't care, they can hire whoever, I didn't want them anyway. That's not what I mean. Detachment is, I want it, but I don't need it. I want it, but I don't need it to be happy. I don't need it to feel confident. I don't need it to know that I'm valuable, right? That's what that is. It's like, yes, I want it. I admit it. That sounds great, but I don't need it. And knowing that you will get the— what's coming to you regardless. So your desired result will come holistically. It just may not come from this particular opportunity, and that doesn't mean you did anything wrong. Okay, so that's what I have for you. We will end it on that note. Thank you so much for watching. Thank you so much for listening. If you have been listening or following along with my newsletter so far, you'll know that I'm putting on a 3-day series in October on influencing the subconscious mind to land job offers. So I hope you'll join us for that, where I'm going to be teaching you a lot of different things on how to use the subconscious mind, how to influence the subconscious mind of interviewers for the greater good. And teaching you some solid tricks that you're not going to learn about in other places because most people are just talking to you about how to create your resume and stuff, and I like to go much deeper. So I hope you'll join me for that, and I will see you next week. Thanks a lot.