EP 297: I Should Be Doing More

Hello and welcome to Get a Six Figure Job You Love. I just wanted to let you know before we start the episode that I have something that might help you if you're job interviewing right now. It's called Offer Accepted. It's where I break down the offer that I just landed in June 2026, where I break down every question I was asked, every question I asked them, all of my answers, all of my thoughts. All of my concepts, all of my thought processes behind what I said, how I said it, down to the small talk in the room. And if you'd like to get your hands on that, it's $97. You can grab it in the show notes. We will have a link there for you. If you are going on a job interview soon, I recommend you take this opportunity to see what a successful process actually looks like before you go into another one. Without knowing what you might have been doing wrong in the past ones, link in the show notes.

Hello and welcome to the Get a Six Figure Job You Love and Thrive Podcast. Today's episode is called I Should Be Doing More. Another version of that is I could be doing more. Let's talk about it. I had my group call with my coaching clients this morning, and one of them brought something. That I think so many people struggle with, and that the model that we did for her and the new outlook that she has on this now is going to change her behavior moving forward. So I just wanted to come and share it with everybody because it's a really useful way that we use the tools, the coaching tools, to get ourselves to change our actual behavior. Because what happens is we— she was— this is what she was doing. This is her. So if you listen to me, you don't know the model. Go listen to one of the episodes where I talk about the model. But I'll recap it here. So circumstance is the thing that you can't like the thing that you can't change. It's going to be the past, somebody else's behavior, something somebody said word for word. It's the circumstances, something that can be proven in a court of law that everybody agrees with. It's something that's. Very boring and factual. And it's, it's basically like a sentence somebody said, or, or the fact that, you know, this is an iPhone, or this is a tree, or like collective agreements we all have. We've all agreed that we call— that we give things certain names, or we call things certain things. So for the circumstance in this client's model, her circumstance was that she has a job contract that ends in November. So it's July, she's got a job contract that ends in November. That's her circumstance. Okay, now that's neither good nor bad. It all depends on her thought about it. So her thought is that she needs to find something new by November, something that she can step into when her job in November ends, when her contract in November ends, right? So her thought Is right now, when she brought it, her unuseful, uncoached thought was, I should be doing more. I should be doing more. And that thought, we realized, makes her feel stressed out. Because when she thinks, I should be doing more, it implies I'm not doing enough, which means that she feels stressed because it means the possibility of her getting— The job that she wants by November is less whenever she thinks that thought. So then her feeling of stress, what we what we learned, and this is for her specifically, was creating avoidance. She wasn't logging into LinkedIn. She wasn't applying for jobs. What she was actually doing was scrolling on social media and then beating herself up for scrolling, feeling guilty about it, saying that's not helpful behavior, and. Basically, the behavior coming from the thought, I should be doing more, and that feeling of stress that was created by that thought is actually creating behavior that takes her farther away from the results she wants. And the result that she ends up getting from this is she does less of what she could do. She does less of what she wants to do. She does less to move her forward. And essentially, that model If we loop that, if that keeps looping in her head, I should be doing more, I should be doing more, I should be doing more, and you feel stressed and you feel stressed and then you do the same behaviors, like you avoid LinkedIn, you, you scroll on social media, you watch TV, all that kind of thing, then the result is you end up doing less than you want to be doing and you don't practice being motivated or being disciplined or diving into the stuff you know you want to actually do. Or need to actually do, will need to actually do eventually, right? So bit of procrastination going on, but that thought is actually the problem. So I'm so the in the coaching I asked her what is the advantage of thinking I should be doing more, and she's like I don't think there is an advantage. She thought about it for a second. She's like I don't think there's any advantage to thinking I should be doing more, and then she thought oh but it reminds me of what I should be doing. Right? So that tells me her brain was afraid that it was going to forget that she could be applying for jobs, reaching out to people, connecting with people, right? And so because of that, then she keeps thinking it because she thinks there is a use for it. She thinks, well, it reminds me of what I'm supposed to do. If I think I should be doing more, then I'm reminded of what I'm supposed to do. But in coaching, we look at the thought and we say, okay, is it really worth it? Is it worth the effort to think that thought? Because a new thought takes just as much effort to think as the old one. And we want to put it— we want to input the thought that's going to get the best results. So I think of the model like a computer program, like a software code, and the thought is part of the code. And if we enter the code, I should be doing more for this particular client, It's not getting the results she wants. It's not working. It's not producing what we want. So I suggested a different thought. I'm like, once she understood, because the awareness has to be there first, you have to understand that it is the thinking that is the problem. The thought is the problem. So that thought, I should be doing more, that is a problem thought. That is a useless thought. That is a garbage thought that is not getting you where you want to go. Right? And then we need to change it. And the beautiful thing about coaching that I love so much is there are millions of thoughts that we can choose from, millions of thoughts that we can choose from. And any— like, so many of them are going to be so much better than I could be doing more in accordance to this result that she's trying to get. So we settled on this one. So I gave her a bunch of suggestions. So what A coach, a good coach does is they will give you suggestions of what else you could think of, how else you could see the situation, of what you could think differently, of how you could talk to yourself differently. And then you would then grab one of those suggestions, choose one and say, I like that. Your brain might light up a bit and think, oh, that's way better. I want to look at things that way. That makes me feel way lighter or way different. Right? So for her, the one that I threw out that she liked was, I'm going to do one, one simple thing every day to move towards my new job. And that instantly changed the way she was feeling. She's like, that feels doable, right? You could just change her, see her state change on the, on the Zoom. Well, we were on Kajabi, but we were using cameras so you could see her state change. She's like, that feels doable. Right? And from when someone says that feels doable, it means they— it basically means she's been shifted to feeling empowered. She's feeling empowered now to do something, right? And so from there, she's like, okay, I feel empowered to do something. And then from there, we can look at a bunch of actions that she could do, right? So simple actions, simply just opening up LinkedIn, just opening it up because she wasn't even opening it up. Simply Sending one message, simply changing one thing on her profile. It's it could be very simple. And so she if she's compounding that behavior, she's like I'm doing one simple thing, right? Then that momentum builds, right? And she will want to do more. She will start thinking about it more. She will start feeling more encouraged, more empowered to take control of the situation and do it instead of avoiding it. where she was thinking, I should be doing more, because I should be doing more is a very self-judgmental thought. It's like you're judging yourself for not doing more. It's baked right into that thinking, right? And so you feel stressed out. Not only do you feel stressed out because you know you're not moving yourself forward, but you're also feeling like you're judging yourself for not doing more. So you're feeling like a less-than person because you should be doing more than you're doing, right? So the whole thought just Isn't helpful for many reasons. So the thought, I can do one simple thing to move me towards my new job every day, is lighter, and her brain could get on board with that very easily, right? So everyone's brain is different. Someone else's— someone else I was coaching might have rejected that thought. They might have been like, well, I don't know what to do, or they might have had a different response to that. But she picked that one up and she's going to run with that one now. And I know that next week she's going to come back and have done more things and she's going to be feeling better if she's practiced this new thought. And it is a practice. So her brain will want to go back to that old thought of I should be doing more. And then she's going to need to redirect it on her own time. And she's going to need to redirect herself to do, oh, I'm doing one simple thing to get me to the job I want every day, every day. And that is going to fuel her forward. And imagine how she'll feel if she's done one simple thing to move her that direction for a week, if she does that for 5, 7 days, imagine how she's going to feel afterwards. She's going to have a new identity. Like, she's going to be identifying as somebody who does one simple thing every day to get to the job she wants. She's going to be identifying as somebody who is, who is capable and empowered to do one simple thing. Through the things she's doing, through doing that one simple thing, she's going to be learning something. She might even get a result from doing these simple things. Like, she reaches out to 5 people, one every day, she probably will have a conversation or 2 set up. She'll probably have some results. She'll probably feel more motivated because she changed that thought, right? So the cool part about the coaching that I do is it's— we're changing the thinking. We're not just going to change the actions. So what another coach might have done is they might have— she might have come and said, oh, I'm not feeling motivated, I don't want to do this. I just can't get myself to apply for jobs. And another coach might have said, okay, well, let's build an accountability system for you. Let's make sure that you have a spreadsheet for all the jobs that you're going to apply for, and let's make sure that you've got it in your calendar and that you've set up a time for when you're going to do it. And like, they would have gone straight to the action line, right? But the action line, we all know what we need to do, right? We all know that that ideally would be great if we could apply for several jobs a day Or we could do several conversations or several reach-outs a day. But the thing is, we set ourselves up for failure so often because we think, okay, well, I'm going to set myself that goal. And then we don't do it and we don't do it repeatedly. And then the identity that we end up practicing is that we are a failure and that we don't follow through with, with our, with our to-do list, right? So that is where the action-based coaching doesn't work. And it's something that I, I was before I learned about the thinking and how you need to get to the bottom of what you're thinking and change that. I was trying to outact all my negative thoughts, and I didn't know I had them. And it's it seems so simple, right? It's like we're identifying one little thought that she's been thinking a lot, and we're identifying that one thought, and we're looking at it, and we're seeing why it doesn't serve her, why it's not getting her the results she wants, and we're able to change that thought. First, she has to have the awareness. That's very important. She has to know okay. That's the thought that's causing me to not do what I want. That's the thought that's causing this behavior. And then we can change it to a new one. And we can try new ones on like clothes. We can be like, okay, if you aren't— if that thought's not working, let's try, I'm going to do one simple thing. There's a bunch of others we could try. So I could have suggested things like, I'm going to, I'm going to talk to more people because I like talking to people. That's my action. Or that's my thing that I'm going to do. Or I'm going to start, I'm going to start celebrating people who have their new jobs. I'm going to start looking for people. I'm going to start looking for success around me so that I can start to believe success is more possible for me. One little tip that I'll give you is I wrote a post about this and it was really good. It was talking about how we let the algorithm influence us more than We should, like the LinkedIn algorithm. So for example, another thought this client had, for example, was that there are no jobs, right? That might be something that a lot of people are thinking right now. There are no jobs, right? And so the algorithm is the LinkedIn algorithm is influencing us believing that because if, for example, you stop to read a post about somebody who has had struggle in the job hunt, maybe they it's one of those posts where they're saying I might be homeless, I need help, I've done all this, I've submitted thousands of applications. I've gone to all these places. I've done all these things. I'm at the end of my rope. I need help. I'm going to be homeless. Help me. Here's my GoFundMe page. Like if we stop to read one of those posts, even if we just stop to read it and we don't engage with it, the algorithm knows that we read it. And then what it will do is it will say, oh, okay, this person likes to read posts like that. Let's show them some more, right? Because there's millions of content pieces. Circulating LinkedIn, millions. And the ones you see, you only see because you expressed an interest, no matter how small or short. Even if you just paused for a second, the algorithm knows that you paused. So it's like, oh, they might be interested in this, we'll try to show them another one. So if it— it'll show you more and more and more posts like that. So the— it actually works in the opposite as well. So if you see a post that is somebody celebrating a great new role that they just landed and they've tagged the company and they've tagged the people that helped them get it. And it's a celebratory post. If you see a post like that and you like it, comment on it, take a screenshot, the algorithm knows when you're screenshotting things too. Save it, share it. If you do all those things, the algorithm now is like, whoa, this person really wants to see posts of people celebrating their new jobs. Okay. And then it will flood your feed with new job celebrations, new job celebrations, not stupid ones. Like, it's another trend going around LinkedIn, people celebrating, I got up this morning and using a celebration milestone as a way to apparently game the algorithm. Although I don't know, because I have been doing this myself, just Congratulating people and engaging with their actual new job celebrations. And I have been seeing so many new job celebrations, like that is all I see. So I know that that works both ways, right? So if you are feeling down or you are feeling a certain way, consider it's because of my thinking. What am I thinking that's making me feel this way? And what am I ingesting? Like, what am I reading? What am I paying attention to that is bringing more of that to me? So if you are looking at a lot of downer posts, then yes, the algorithm is going to serve you up more of those downer posts. So this episode was called I Should Be Doing More, and I never think that's a helpful thought. I think it's a really— it's a It's a thought that, like I said with my client, it just loops you into thinking you're not good enough because you're not doing enough. You should be doing more. Yet it doesn't actually get you to do more. Like the thought doesn't make you feel like, oh yeah, I'm going to get up and I'm going to do everything I wanted to do today. And then I'm going to feel so good about myself. Because I think the reason it can't work that way is because it's a self-judgmental thought. It essentially Shoulds you and makes you feel bad, like you feel less than just by uttering it, right? I should be doing more, implying I am not doing enough. I am not good enough. And when we talk to a kid like that, do you think they're going to want to do more? I mean, it can work. There is the argument that it can work temporarily, like it can work temporarily. You can be motivated by that for a little bit of time. If you really want somebody's approval, right? For example, like a child might really work hard to gain their parents' approval by do— by being shamed and being like, oh, you can do like what? That's all you could do? Like, I'm so disappointed. And then they might work hard to do better, but the motivation will come from the wrong place. And eventually that's what leads to burnout. That's what leads to trauma. That's what leads to depression, is that never feeling good enough. Feeling, right? So there are so many other ways to talk to yourself so that you can get the behavior that you want. You can be the person who's showing up and doing the things you want to do, confident that you're moving yourself towards where you want to go without the language of I should be doing more, right? So it kind of sounds like this: instead of you should be doing so much more, you should have applied for all those jobs today, what is wrong with you, why can't you get it together, why can't you think about your Future? Why can't you do a better job? Right? Like there's that thought process that a lot of us have or have learned from our parents. And then there's this thought process, which is the same, which will get you a better result. And it's got the same intent, but it's just more effective. So it sounds like this. It goes, you are going to be able to do a lot more when you feel better. And you know you're capable. Look at what you've already done. Look at look at the things you have done. So my client, for example, she had applied for a few jobs here and there. She didn't even bring those up because they were just completely gone from her brain because the should be doing more had taken over, right? So you want to remind yourself of what you've done, what you're capable of doing, and the fact that feeling better is going to be what will lead you to the behavior that you want. So. And it doesn't have to be like— better doesn't have to mean motivated and euphoric and perfect. It doesn't have to mean you feel perfect. It can just mean you feel courageous, right? So you— or you feel committed, right? Or you feel determined. Like, those feelings are better than feeling stressed, anxious, and, you know, bad about yourself. Those are better, but they still don't feel good. Courage doesn't feel good. Determination doesn't necessarily feel good, right? It just feels strong and sturdy in the right direction, but it doesn't necessarily feel good. It's not like I feel at peace, or I— it's not like I was going to feel at peace when I'm, you know, running and I have a goal of winning a race. I'm not going to feel at peace, but I'm going to feel determined, or I'm going to feel courageous, or I'm going to feel empowered, or I'm going to feel, you know, the feelings are going to be Not necessarily the best feelings, but they're going to be the feelings that serve you in getting where you want to go. So some of the ways that you can talk to yourself to get where you want to go in a more helpful manner might be, I know you can do better than that. Like, I know you, and I know that you're capable of doing better than this. I know that you've been through hard things in the past, and I know that you've gotten yourself up. I know that you're capable. I know that you have it. In you. And I want you to have this success in the end. I love you. I, I want this for you so bad. I want this for us. And because of that, we are going to figure out how to do this. And if that means starting small, that means starting small. That means one action a day, one simple thing a day. We're going to figure it out. We're going to get it done because we really, really want this for ourselves. And we don't want to get to the point where we Regret not having done these things. This is for us. So you see how you talk to yourself from the form of self-love, but still kind of being, you know, not letting yourself off the hook. It's not like saying, oh, that's okay, you didn't have to apply for any jobs today. Don't worry about it. It's not a big deal. It's not that. It's more of a sturdy self-love kind of thing. Like, I love you. I want this for you. I know you can get it. Let's let's effing do it. Like let's get let's get ourselves together and let's do it. We know we can. We really want this. And picture how good it sweet it's gonna feel when we when we do it, right? How are we gonna feel at the end of the day when we get those actions done? Like that is sturdy self-love. It's also not letting yourself off the hook completely, and it's not beating yourself up or berating yourself, right? So there's different options of how you can talk to yourself, and that's really what I want to get across to people because. The letting yourself off the hook and saying, oh, that's okay, you don't have to worry about it, you'll do it tomorrow. That's not effective either. And that's not what I'm saying you should do. I'm also not saying— I'm also really against the you should be doing better. What's wrong with you? You're so stupid. You're so lazy. How dare you let another day go by where you didn't make any progress? Like, that isn't helpful, even though we think it is. But the sturdy self-love version of All of that is the, we want more for ourselves. We know we can do better. We know what we're capable of. I want to see what more you can be capable of when you really set your mind to it. This is going to be— this might be difficult, but I know you can do it. Like, how would you want someone to talk to you as a, as a child just developing? If you imagine your brain as a child developing to do hard things, how would you want to be spoken to? And that's the answer that comes to me is I, that's how I want to be spoken to. I want to be spoken to sturdily, not let off the hook, but with love. And I don't even know that I would call it tough love. I think I would just call it sturdy, sturdy, healthy self-love, you know? And, and so I just want to share, there is other ways to talk to yourself. You don't have to berate yourself. You don't have to let yourself off the hook. You do need to talk to yourself in a way that is going to get you the results. And once you learn to do that, you will become the person who gets results repeatedly because you won't feel burnt out or you won't feel traumatized by the experience. And I think that's a good place for ending this podcast. Thank you so much for being here. If you don't know, I have an offer out called Offer Accepted. It is the full breakdown of my entire job offer process. So if you don't know, recently I got my own job offer and I did it in less than 30 days. I was quietly job searching on the side of my business. And a lot of people think it's not possible to do, right? And I had been talking about it for a long time. I'd been standing on my soapbox saying, there are jobs, you can do this, it's possible. So I thought, though, I got the job for many reasons, but one of the reasons was I really wanted to show people that they were wrong about that. And that with the right mindset, with the right tools, you are able to get a job and it is not All the what the algorithm is telling you, right? You create your own algorithm, and you create your own thinking in your own internal world, and that is what actually creates a job offer or not. So getting back to it, offer accepted is a deep dive where I recorded everything that happened in the interview. I wrote it down. I wrote what questions they asked me, what questions, what what I answered, what I wanted to say, what I wanted to get across, and why some things that were not asked to me, but I had to find the opportunity to speak them. Anyway, the questions I asked them, why I asked them, the timing of when I asked them, and the exact resume and cover letter that I used to get the, in the interview in the first place, the process in which I submitted it, all the actions I took to get me there and everything you could want as far as an example of a successful job offer happening in 2026. So this happened in 2026, which people are saying is the worst job market in years, is very impossible to get in. And I'm just proving that wrong by not only applying everything I've taught, but actually doing it myself and now sharing an example of exactly what that looks like. If you would like to get your hands on that, you can click the link below if it is still available. There are some bonuses right now that are only limited time that won't be available forever. And you can click the link below to grab that. As of today, it's July 25th. So I don't know if this offer will be available indefinitely if you're listening to this podcast. But The bonuses that I'm offering right now will be available until July 31st. So check that out. It's at a very affordable price. It's only $97. I made it accessible to everybody. And people are telling me that they're using it right now. They're coming up with their own examples based on how I've structured it and how I've shown them how I answered. So the point is not to copy my answers, it's to get the concepts so that you can answer the questions for yourself in the most powerful way. And with that, thank you so much for listening. Thank you so much for being here. Thank you. Here, and I will talk to you next week.