From wobbly self-confidence to 178k Position for a Dell company - Interview with Carolina!

Okay. Hello everyone, we are here today on the podcast with another amazing special guest, another client of mine, um, Carolina. Uh, she's going to talk about her journey with coaching, and she's a very interesting person in general, so I'm going to let her introduce herself. She comes from a very diverse background, so please go ahead and introduce yourself.

Hi everybody. So my name is Carolina Paez. I saw Natalie and then got also like on LinkedIn and everything, and I said, okay, let me try it out, and it's been great. So a little bit about me. I was born in the Dominican Republic. I came to the US when I was 10 years old. So, and had to learn English. So, and then after that, then, um, ended up going to Cornell University being a mechanical engineer. And then, um, then I did my MBA at the University of Virginia. And I got married in 2007. My husband said, let's go to Ecuador. And I'm like, okay, take me before I, uh, repent myself. So we went into Ecuador in 2008. 2008, right? Like right when the pan— not pandemic, that's now— the debacle of 2008. And actually I was working at the Federal Reserve Bank of New York at that time, so it was kind of like, you know, we kind of knew what was going to happen. And so I said, okay, let's go. And so we went there, we lived there for 9 years, and I had 2 daughters there, and then I decided decided that I needed to come back to the US because I wanted to do— keep my— do my corporate career here. I did start a couple businesses there. I had my own consulting firm and did a whole bunch of different things, um, to occupy my time. So I did a lot of, um, a lot of consulting with, um, with, uh, family businesses and strategy operations and actually in IT as well, like, um, ERP implementations. And so when I came back in 2017 to the US, it was a whole different world with social media and things. It was like, look for a job, which was like not exactly what I was used to. And so I had to really like start networking, start building my LinkedIn again, and doing all these things. And also my confidence was a little worn down, like because it took It was taking so long to find a job. I wasn't used to it. And so then, but yeah, I got a job and then the pandemic hit and I was at a startup. And so I ended up like having to leave like a year, about a year ago. And so it took me about a whole year to find another job. That's when I like midway through, that's when I hired Natalie and we were trying to find a job. Trying to build my confidence back up and doing all these things.

Yeah, so thank you so much for that introduction. So the thing that I find that's really interesting to look at is you've done— you have all these degrees, you have traveled to different countries, you've had 2 kids, you've done all these things and had all these experiences, and it's still possible for your— for things to happen where it affects your confidence, right? And someone hearing about your background and someone hearing about all these things that you've done, um, you've worked even for some big companies, and it's Like, it's not about all of that. It's about how you're approaching the new situation and your day-to-day mindset in it, which is what's gonna create your results moving forward. So, so yeah. And I think it's just really important for people to hear that because there's so many people in that same situation who have these lists of accomplishments and are like, why can't I make it work? Why can't I do this? Right? So excited to dig into that with you today about how you found that journey and how, and overcoming it. But there's always that new level of growth. Yeah. Sorry, go ahead.

No, no, I agree with you. It was like, on paper, you know, you're like, okay, people are like, oh, that's great, you did all these things. But then you're like interviewing and not getting an offer. And you're like, am I worthy or not?

Yeah, yeah. And then the confidence starts to go down when really your value is all there. It was always there, for sure. So tell us a little bit about like, some of the main kind of mindset shifts that you made when we were working together, kind of some of the things that helped you to turn your confidence back around?

Um, yeah, but value was one of the big things. Like you said, um, I always like your, your analogy of like, if you give someone $100, so it's still worth it if they don't take it. Yeah. And so it's, it's that, is that thing of like, not, um, like one, once you start doing this and you go month by month and not getting something, and then you feel like super let down, but you have to like— but you have to keep pushing up the mountain and being able to say that next— you only need one yes, right? You only need one yes. Yeah. So you have to kind of like kind of build yourself up, and some of the things I did, I, you know, I started like talking to people on LinkedIn, talking to people in like Slack channels, and And just like helping other— like once you like say, I'm helping other people and I have value, and you kind of have to start believing in yourself. Yeah. I think one of the things that I struggled and that we worked on a lot was that I wanted outside validation. I wanted other people to tell me that I was doing a good job instead of building that self-confidence within and really believing it within inside me.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah. And tell people some of your thoughts about networking because you— that was— that's a really good thing that you're good at is connecting with people, networking with people. And I think people could benefit from hearing your thoughts about networking and connecting.

Um, yeah, so at the beginning, you know, like, um, I'm also an introvert, so it's not like— it's not— was an easy step for me to just cold calling, like reaching out to people. But once I I just had like that mind shift of not saying that I'm asking them for a favor, but I'm actually trying to give, help them with something they need. Like, so it was more about giving than taking. Yeah. And once you have, once you switch that, you don't feel like a salesy person, or you don't feel like you're bothering them. You feel like you're gonna, I'm gonna add something to their life, to their value. And And I like one thing that one person that I met through this process and actually eventually led me to the job I got is that she said, we're all friends, we just don't know each other yet. So that was like, okay, that's cool. You know, we're all friends. Yeah, you think of it that way.

Yeah, for sure. And I think that those are keys that led to your success throughout the process, which was just maintaining those thoughts of like, yeah, we're all friends and we can talk to each other, we can help. And I think taking the focus off yourself for sure and just putting it on what can I add. And for that to happen, you had to really believe in your own value and what you had to offer and bring that to the surface for sure.

It's definitely a process. It's a stepping stone each way and it's a growth, growth curve every time.

Yeah. And so good for you to like realize that and like embrace the process and be like, I'm here for it. Like you were such an amazing client, always showing up, always having Like always having things to work on, always like taking it in really well and understanding what was going on inside your head and having the willingness to go through that process for sure. And so what, before we talk about like the amazing result that you created and stuff, let's go back and talk a little bit about what challenges you were experiencing before working together. What was kind of a day-to-day, like what was going on in your head?

Yeah, so like I said, One of the biggest things, I think, blockers for me was the fact that I had been out of the country, the US, for 9 years. And then I was getting like people saying, like, what I did in South America was not worth it. Like, my experience was not. So it was some like So then I got this thing in my head like maybe I should have never left, maybe I should like— all my peers are like way higher than me and I started doing that comparison thing that's awful, awful, because it's like you just go in your head, you're like, it's a downward spiral instead of up.

Mm-hmm.

And so it's, yeah, so it was that holding me back like and it was And it was also holding my confidence back even more because then I was like not believing that I was in the place that I needed to be versus my other peers and/or I didn't have the right experience when— and then you start going down the rabbit holes. I need more certifications or I need something else. Yeah. And so you start looking, like you start— I started taking things on LinkedIn, like Coursera and whatever else. Like, comes my way, you know? Like, yeah, like, yeah. So it's the mentality. Yeah, it's a— and, and you just spend like so much time doing that, that instead of actually doing what's actually going to get you to the finish line.

Exactly. And it's the mentality of like, I'm not enough as I am, I don't have enough. And it was completely not the case specifically for you because you had all these results, you had all these things, and it was just— yeah, so it was just kind of showing you that. So yeah, then things we work on in coaching is reframing your past, um, realizing when there's no upside doing something. So like you said so eloquently, you got to spend the time doing the things that are actually going to lead you to the results. And we often want to get distracted away from those things. So the— how do you look at those challenges now versus how you looked at them then? Like, do you, do you have— do you still have those thoughts come up? Or— and how do you handle it?

Um, I mean, I think we all suffer from some type of imposter syndrome at some point. And so we— but it's— and I think that was another thing that we worked on was, yeah, you can feel things or feel disappointed because you're human. But if you dwell on it, that's when it gets bad.

Yeah.

So now it's just like, okay, yeah, I'm not happy about that. But Yeah, what's the best— how can I get over it quickly and go on to the next step?

Yeah, and then you start to do that, you start to get really good at that. Yeah, yeah. And I remember that you got really good at that, and it was just like just embracing the process, right? Embracing the process and understanding that sometimes there's going to be failure along the way.

Yeah, at the beginning it was hard. I said, this is hard.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah,

yeah. But the difference between you and someone else is like, yeah, it's, it's hard, but I'm gonna, I'm gonna put in the work to embrace it and overcome it and ultimately get on the other side of that and conquer that mountain. And that determined this. Yeah. So what was the biggest fear that you think you had to overcome saying yes to working with me?

Well, so that was the other thing. I was like, Because I had been out of work for so long and then I was starting to get— and I mean, obviously, I have a family, I have things to take care of, I have a house, and so financially it was too much for me and I was going crazy. I had debts and credit cards and whatnot. And so I was trying to decide, is this really worth me getting in more debt or or paying for the service. And so that was kind of my biggest hurdle. And it was, as I went through the process, it was also like the scarcity mentality, like not coming from a place of abundance. So I was like, okay, I'm going to put my time in me and it's going to work out, you know, like believing that what's going to be the future, my future self, where I'm going to be. Mm-hmm. So that was my biggest obstacle when I was trying to figure out if to hire you or not.

And what was your thought that made you bet on yourself and say, yes, I'm doing this?

So I think you said something along the lines of, like, what's the truth, right? Like, has things worked out in the past? And I said, well, yes. And I, like, at some point, something gonna be in, not in the negative, but in the positive.

Yeah.

So I said, yeah. So I said, okay, I'm gonna take the bet and I'm gonna bet on myself that I, that I have gotten into difficult situations before and I'm gonna, and I'm gonna do it again. And I mean this, and hopefully with some help I can do it faster.

Yeah. Yeah. And you went all in, right? Oh, came, showed up for everything, did everything. And yeah, and it paid off. And I think that's the important thing is you believed in yourself. To make that work. And that's where it kind of has to, has to start. And, and you had so much evidence of being able to do, like, do all these things in the past, and it's just that you'd forgotten about that along the way, which is normal because that's what happens sometimes with our human brains. So, you know.

Very selective memory.

Yeah, yeah. And it just, it just kind of— unless you have someone there watching your brain and telling you what's going on, it's very easy to get into that low confidence and go down that rabbit hole. And, and yeah, so very important to notice that you, you believed in yourself to be able to do it, and you did it, and you had a lot of evidence to prove that before as well. So what specific results or improvements did you experience tangibly and intangibly while working together?

Um, well, I mean, I don't know if Intangibly, intangibly, but experience. I just started to really, I guess, self-analyze my thoughts, right? So really looking into why, the why of why I'm thinking that. Is it true or is it not? So good. Is it me being like low, like, you know, Yeah. Not like being just bumming myself out or really like, it's like, you know, like what is the evidence that that's true or not? And so just really looking at, like being like very self-aware of what I'm doing and why I'm doing it.

Yeah. And looking at the facts, is this really true? And then deciding. Yeah. And I remember one conversation we had, you were helping your husband with something and then you were like, you know what? My husband should be paying me more for this or something. It was a joke. You were joking, but it was kind of like that realization of like, I'm really valuable. I am saving a lot of time and money here.

Yeah. And I was giving my time for free to him, to other people as well. I did this project with other people and then I was like, yeah, I just want the experience. And you're like, no, you get paid.

Yeah, I remember that too. Yeah. Yeah. So that was another kind of indicator of like you weren't seeing your full value, right? And that shows up in behaviors, it shows up in things and you weren't realizing it 'cause you were totally justifying it. Like, I want to, and I used to do the same thing, so I get it. But yeah, all these things that we wouldn't have noticed. So yeah, really well said. So what do you think you, you'll use moving forward going into your new role from what you learned from the experience?

Um, I just think that I'm like, you know, self-advocacy, like you just like, like, like being very clear on what my next goal is, what my next role was going to be, what, where I want to take my career growth to, and just, you know, being clear on myself so that I can be clear to the other person, which was another thing that I also struggled with because I thought that people didn't really understand what I was saying, or like I wasn't communicating my value correctly. Mm-hmm. And so it's just, once you believe that you are valuable, once you believe in yourself, then that Then, okay, this is my goal. This is what I want. This is okay. I'm already planning out my next 30 days, what I'm gonna learn. I'm starting on Monday. So it's just trying to figure out, meet everybody, figure out who the stakeholders are, and just see, map out my future in this new job.

Yeah. For sure. Yeah, really well said. Um, you getting clear on your value so you can articulate it to someone else, super important. And I think that's something a lot of people struggle with too, and they don't even know it. So, so yeah, that was really well said. Getting clear on your own value so you can articulate it clearly to someone else. And then, yeah, and then knowing that you can, you can 100% achieve your next goal. Like just having the confidence, like basically it's done, right? Like you already know you can because you did this one. And yeah, and looking, looking back at all the others. So What does life look like now after working together? Like on a day-to-day, your thoughts, feelings, anything different?

Um, yeah, so I like, after we like, I also decided to do some stuff for myself. I, um, I downloaded this app which also was based on psychology and thought, which is really funny. Like, so it was about losing weight, but it was, it was a lot of similar similarities in the way that they that they talk to you about psychology and how and what things you do and like being also being mindful what you eat and all these things. So it was kind of, it was an interesting transition into that app that I've been doing for like the past 3 months and actually lost 17 pounds. So I'm very happy.

Oh wow. So you, yeah, the goal is kind of going hand in hand. You have these tools and you can do everything.

Yeah. Yeah. So applying this to different parts of your life, you know, you have your full like Like this one part was like really my career, my professional part, but now I'm trying to apply it to my personal, to my, you know, my health and different things like that, to like, to go above and beyond what I want, like what I thought I could do.

Yeah, absolutely. It's so good to hear. So what, what was your experience while working together and did anything surprise you?

I was surprised you were very blunt.

Love it.

But I liked that. You know, I needed to hear that. Okay, fine. It was like, okay, but I needed to hear it. It's good. Tough love is good.

Yeah, thanks. So good. I don't think I've ever been called that before. But I do like— that's one of my company values is always tell the client the truth, always tell the truth because that's where, you know, the growth is. So I just want to honor you for taking that in and, and hearing what was hard to hear and then using it to your advantage and getting to the result. So how would you say— yeah, go ahead.

Yeah, moving out of your— I mean, like a lot of, a lot of books and all the things say, you know, moving out of your comfort zone, like expanding your comfort zone. And like, and if you don't really take, um, constructive criticism, then you're never gonna— you're, you're never gonna move out of your—

yeah, your bubble.

Yeah,

yeah, such a good point. Yeah, I'm glad you brought that up because, yeah, like a lot of people ask me, they're like, well, how do you know if you're taking constructive criticism or if you're just people pleasing? And I think that, well, once you've hired a coach to tell you the truth, to show you what you can't see on your own, to do it, so you're gonna take that differently. You know they have your best service, your highest service at heart. Like, so that's why, why I do that for my clients. And then the— if you're not, it— like, how do you tell the difference? Is, you know, you can take the, the, the words even if they're hard to hear, if you know they come from a loving place, right? So kind of in a work situation, if somebody is telling you something and it doesn't feel good, it's like, how do you kind of discern that whether or not now it's constructive criticism or whether it's just somebody's thoughts?

Yeah. Like, I mean, I've had both in prior experiences and at work. People that tell you like, well, in order to be more assertive, you need to like think that you're pushing through and like you're in an army and you're like just hitting people and getting through. I'm like, but that's not me. I mean—

Yeah, love that.

I understand, you know, like being commanding of the environment and the atmosphere and whatever. But you have to be true to yourself and do it in a way that is comfortable to you. Because otherwise, you just— I think that's— you can say you're taking the constructive prism, which is like commanding the situation, but not really taking the people pleasing of like doing it exactly the way they said to do it.

Totally. Yeah. Yeah. And I love that you said that. It just shows how much you've grown. You're like, well, that doesn't— that's not really me. That doesn't really work for me. And I think that like a lot of people need to learn to say that in like just a loving Way, like it's nothing against you. Thank you so much for the advice, but that that's not me. And like I totally encourage my clients to you know take what they need and from our relationship use it. And if something isn't right, the like to like let me know and be like no that's not really what I meant or that's not really me because the ultimately you're the one who's living this life. You're the one who's deciding. You're the one who's going going into it. You got to feel comfortable with what you're doing. So absolutely what really well said.

So you have to fly solo at some point.

Yeah, and you and at the end of the day you're going to be the one who's executing. the one who's making the decisions. So there's a difference between like feeling a bit uncomfortable with it and knowing that it's right for you versus feeling like, no, this is totally wrong, right? So discerning that and getting to know yourself, which I think you've done, like you've kind of reflected on yourself as far as like, this is who I am, this is who I want to be, versus no, that doesn't really feel right, that doesn't really work for me, kind of the difference is really important. Yeah. So what would you tell someone who's on the fence about Um, about working with me?

Um, I think that if you really believe that you're gonna make the change and you really believe that, um, in your— maybe you don't believe in yourself right now, but you want to, like, you like got like, um, like to take— that you're ready to take the next step and really work on yourself, then That's when I think that it's the right match. If you really are not going to put the work or you're not really sure that you're going to do it, then keep on being exactly in your bubble and not out of your comfort zone.

Yeah. Yeah. And then knowing that it's a process, like you said, right? Belief is a process. You can't just go the next day. Like, it takes— like, you inch your way closer to that belief to the point where you get the result, as you have. So tell us about your new role and what you're going to be doing.

Yeah, so, um, should I say the company or I don't know?

Yeah, share whatever you're comfortable sharing. Yeah.

Oh, okay. So it's, um, it's called Dell Boonie. It's actually, it's a part of Dell Technologies. And so, um, it's, uh, it's, it's the, what they call iPaaS or integrated, um, platform. So they, what they, what the company does is, um, do all the integration behind all the cloud implementations and any other software that you have, that the company has as an integrated platform. And so it's actually the leader in the industry. They actually started this iPaaS category. Wow. And so they actually just got bought by a vendor, by a venture capital company. So they'd like to grow, then they were about like now valued at $4 billion. So it's pretty good. Yeah. Wow. Actually, it was one of the things because I like the tech space, and I like the entrepreneurship part, but my last job, like, was, couldn't get Series B funding. So that's how, and my, the COVID hit, when COVID hit, that they just couldn't get in, and they were not in a good financial situation. So I'm actually very happy about this. being in a very sound financial situation. Mm-hmm. And so, like I said, I had met this woman on a Slack channel from this, like, Latin in Tech type of Slack channel, and she just reached out. I had put out, like, I just, like, went full-blown, like, said, I'm looking for this, And this channel like out in the open, and she reached out to me, and we had a chat, and then we just kept talking on and off, and then she just said she liked my vibe, and we kind of hit it off, and then she— who's going to be my boss now, she reached out to him and said she should be great for your team, and so I actually had an interview with— I actually had— he didn't know what he wanted at that point. So I actually had 2 meetings with him and pretty much helped him write this job description.

I remember this. Yeah, I remember you're adding so much value for this person. And he was— because you were asking him questions that he was like, oh, that's a good question. I should go. I should know that. I should figure that out.

So then that happened. And then like, it took like a couple of months. And then I had like a 3-hour panel interview. But then I didn't get that job. I think they thought that I was too expensive, so they didn't give me a chance to even negotiate anything. But then like a month after that, I had the recruiter reach out to me and say, ask if she's still available.

And

it's like, yeah, yeah. And so this job is more in line to your skills, and we can actually meet your salary expectations, and actually went above what I wanted, but it was great. Yeah. And so, yeah, so I'm going to be leading this program management office, a newly created program management office, and I'm going to be leading that. And so it's great. And it's like I had wanted like $150,000, we went up to $165,000, and then I got 15% bonus, so it was like $178,000.

So fantastic.

Yes, I was like, yay.

Yeah. And it feels like I'm talking to a different person when I first met you because you, you like, you knew it but you didn't really know it yet. And now you're like, well, of course, like, this is like, of course I'm going to be able to deliver far more than this value that they're even offering you. And they gave you more than you wanted, which is just such a testament to like what you believed. And you negotiated. Yeah. So did you have any hesitations about negotiating at that point, or you kind of had already Like you already knew, you're like, I'm going to negotiate.

At that point, because they actually gave me more than I actually asked for, I was a little hesitant. I'm like, should I? Should I not? And then my husband was like, come on, you just do it. And I was like, yeah, yeah, let's do it. Let's just forward the email. There's nothing to lose. I went and took $10K above thinking that they would meet me in the middle and they didn't meet me in the middle. It's like, oh, we can do this. I was like, okay, fair, like $5K more.

Yeah, there's nothing to lose. And I always say to people, you got to try. And then if at the end of the And if at the end of the day it doesn't work out, you can always say, okay, thanks, I thought I'd check, but I'm going to go ahead and accept anyway. So yeah, totally nothing to lose. So many, so many congratulations to you. This is so awesome. So how would you— like, I always like to ask people this because a lot of people haven't been coached before. They don't really understand what, what it— what to expect or what it is. So how would you describe coaching to someone who's never ever been coached or experienced it before?

I guess It's, I don't know, it's like, it's not really therapy, but somewhat. It's like, I guess it's therapy for your career. Like, it's really trying to figure out what is it that you believe in and what you can accomplish.

Mm-hmm.

And really dig— digging deep into your own thoughts and pro— like, and, and biases that you,

yeah,

um, built along the way. And

yeah, the blind spots. Yeah,

yeah,

yeah, yeah. And I'm glad you brought that up, actually. A lot of people equate it to therapy, and I like to say the difference is therapy is more focused on the past and coaching is creating the plan for your future and moving forward. But then of course the past always comes in a little bit, and, and like you spoke about in the beginning, kind of reframing your past and thinking about the, the past in a positive way because there's no upside in having regrets about the decisions you made. And, and now

it holds you, and it holds you back. Like, yeah, as you always say, it's not serving you.

Yeah. Oh, you were the best client. It was so, so, so fun to coach you because you were just so like— you learned so quickly and implemented so quickly. Yeah. And I just, from this interview, I'm like, wow, you really learned a lot more than I even thought. Amazing. Well, thank you so much for sharing and being so generous with all the gems that you dropped on this interview. Is there anything else you wanted to add to let listeners know? Anything you— any words, last words of advice?

I mean, it definitely is a roller coaster, not only on the coaching, but on the job search Yeah. And I always said, I'm like, I'm on the downhill right now, you know, today I'm going up.

Yeah, yeah.

So it's, you know, just trying to take, you know, when you're down, you just have to like take the impulse to go back up. And it is a tough process, it's arduous, it's mind is draining and that's sometimes depressing. But once you get that one yes, it's like, okay, that's it. You're done.

And also, it's like, that's the case with any goal that we want to achieve that's hard, right? Because if it wasn't, then it'd be like, okay, I'm done. That was easy.

Yeah, totally.

Yeah. The analogy of the roller coaster is really good too. Because if you just— we just kind of expect that, then we're like, okay, we know this is happening. But at the end of But at the end of the day, we know that the end result is happening. And that's how I—

The roller coaster has to end at some point. Yeah, it ends.

And then a new one starts with when you get into your new role and you go to your next goal.

Yeah,

but it's— yeah.

And the only difference that you're getting— the one you're not getting paid, the other ones you're getting paid for. Yeah.

And the result on the other side speaks for itself. So it's worth going through it. Awesome. Thank you so much for your time and for dropping so many, so many great words of wisdom today. And, um, yeah, thank you so much for being here.

Well, thank you for having me, and I hope that some— my experience helps someone else as well.

It will, absolutely. It's been very inspiring. Thank you so much.

Bye.

Bye.