Natalie Fisher explains how low confidence creates a cycle of negative self-talk and confirmation bias. When your boss doesn't reply to an email, a low-confidence person sees rejection; a confident person sees a missed delivery. Without a clear standard for what "being good enough" means, you'll always lose the confidence game.
If you believe that lack of confidence is holding you back in your career, then this video is for you. Stay tuned. The mistake that most people make is believing that confidence is either something that you have or you don't have, and if you don't have it, then you're screwed and you just have to accept that as fact. Makes sense, because if you could simply become more confident, then everybody would just do that. But here's the truth: if you're timid, fearful, shy, or unsure of yourself, you're not going to make it as far as you could in your career. Shy people get turned down for jobs all the time, and people who are afraid to share their ideas get left behind quickly. So I have had clients who have been actually given that feedback saying that they need to be more confident and more self-assured, and they have been told that they're just a bit shy. So this doesn't mean that you have to be a loud and outspoken extroverted person to get ahead, but it does mean you have to believe in yourself enough and believe in your contribution and believe that it is valuable to take action towards what you really want. If you continue to tell yourself things like, I'm not good enough, no one cares what I have to say, what I have to say isn't worth it, or like one of my clients was saying to herself, I've made too many mistakes at work, so I'm not good enough and I'm not going to be able to get that raise or promotion. These thoughts block you from taking the action to get closer to the goal and cut you off from all the other possibilities of ever moving towards what you really want. What's more, if you're proving to yourself that you're right and that you're not good enough, then that's what you're going to stay in, and that's the cycle that you're going to be perpetuating forever until you consciously notice it and decide to change it. And there's something called confirmation bias. It means that our brain believes something, and then it's going to look for all the evidence to see that that is true. So when you tell yourself, I'm not good enough, nobody listens to me, you're going to start to see evidence everywhere that you're not worth it and nobody cares, and you're going to have to You're going to start confirming that, and that's not true. It's just your brain is looking for the evidence of it, of that being true. Say you email your boss with a really great idea that you're super excited to share, and he doesn't respond. So if you have super low self-confidence, you're probably going to choose to see this as evidence that he doesn't even care about your idea, or he didn't like it, and he just thought it wasn't worth a reply. However, if you were a confident person, you would probably think something like this. Well, he must not have received the email then. I'll just follow up with him and ask him about it. Or, he clearly didn't understand the idea. If he had, he would've thought it was brilliant. I'm just gonna need to explain it a little bit better to him and make it more clear. So if you believe you're not good enough, you'll assume your boss doesn't think that your idea is any good. If you believe your idea is really good, you'll either assume he didn't see it Or you'll think that he didn't understand it and that you just need to explain it or communicate it better. So you don't even know that this is happening, and it will hold you back from having your ideas seen and heard. It will stop you from taking opportunities that you need to take to move ahead with your career. It will stop you from moving forward in all aspects of your life. So how do you work towards becoming self-confident? One of my clients and I had this conversation. She said, I just know I'm not good enough. I've made too many mistakes and they don't care about what I have to say. So I asked her, has there ever been a time when you were good enough? She said, yeah, there have been. So she was able to tell me a story of how she had wowed a client and saved an account that probably would have gone to do business somewhere else if she hadn't have been handling that situation and if she hadn't have handled it as well as she did. So I said to her, how many times do you have to be good enough so that you can believe that you're worthy of that promotion? She said, That's a really good question. I don't know. I've never thought about it. I said, do you see how you're setting yourself up to never be good enough ever? If you don't have a way to be good enough that you accept, if you have no way to win the game of being good enough, then you will always be a loser. Does that make sense? And it's not because you're a loser. It's just because you haven't actually given yourself any kind of a benchmark to say this has to happen and then I'm good enough. You're just thinking I'm not good enough. Do you see how if you have no way to win the game, Then you're always gonna lose the game. Not because you are a loser, but because when this is not clearly defined, then anybody would be a loser because there's just no way to win this game because you've set it up in a way where you can't ever win. So if you're struggling with your confidence and you believe it's holding you back in your career or in other aspects of your life, then I can help. I'm extremely good at moving people past their confidence issues in order to crush their goals and become the people that They need to be to get where they want to go. So if you want to work more with me, if you want to get some more information, click below to schedule a call and let's do this together. You no longer have to suffer in silence. This is a safe space to open up. On this session, we will uncover what's been holding you back from getting where you really want to go, why you're not there yet, the thoughts about yourself and your confidence that have led you to your current beliefs and your current results in your life, and we'll cover exactly what plan you need to have moving forward in order to accomplish those goals once and for all. If you're interested in that, click the link below, sign up for a free session with me, and let's get started. If you like this video, give me a thumbs up and subscribe to the channel, and I will see you next week. Okay, bye! Nobody wants to follow somebody who's telling themselves that they're not good enough. This video wouldn't be very fun if I came on here and I was like, oh, I'm just not good enough to make a video. My videos suck. I suck. I got a bad comment on my video. Someone told me that I needed to dye my hair because I have too many grays. Somebody told me that I needed to talk faster because apparently I talk slow. Do you see how that's not fun? It's really— there's no benefit to it.
How To Sound Good Without Having All the Answers (In Meetings & Job Interviews)
