In this instructional video Natalie Fisher challenges the common goal of trying to be liked in a job interview and instead proposes a three‑step approach to becoming genuinely likable. She argues that the first question should be “Do I like myself?” and suggests a concrete exercise of listing ten things you appreciate about yourself to build self‑confidence. Next, she emphasizes the importance of strong personal boundaries and high self‑esteem, illustrating the point with a story about a client named Brenda who confidently rejected external pressure about her weight. Fisher then shifts focus to the interview context, urging viewers to assess whether they like the prospective employer and whether the relationship is a mutual fit, rather than seeking external approval. Throughout, she stresses authenticity—owning your core self instead of molding yourself to please everyone. The video concludes with a call to action, offering a free “How to Get Any Job You Want” workshop and additional resources on her website to help viewers apply these principles in their job search.
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Okay, in this video we're going to talk about how to be super likable and 3 things you can do. I'm also going to go over the things that make people not likable and the real question you should actually be asking is not, do they like me? So stay tuned. So you found this video because you want to be more likable, and the first thing I'm going to share with you is that it's the wrong question to be asking. You don't want to be concerned with whether people like you or not. You wanna be concerned with whether or not you like them. First, you wanna like yourself, 'cause nobody's gonna like you if you don't like yourself, because nobody is gonna be really wanting to hire the most self-doubtful person, right? So if you're questioning yourself, if you're questioning whether or not you like you, or if you're worth their time, then They're not really gonna be that interested either because you have to like yourself first. Do you like you? That's my question to you. Would you hire you? I want you to come up with at least 10 things about yourself that you like. Is that a hard exercise for you? It is for a lot of people. So if it's hard for you to come up with 10 things that you like about yourself, then start with 10 things that are facts about yourself. So maybe simple things like you are a human, you went to school, Maybe you're a good student. Maybe you learn well. Maybe you're a kind person. Maybe you're really committed. So start small, but you want to eventually come up with a list of things you like about yourself. So for example, off the top of my head, I'm gonna come up— I'm just gonna tell you some things that I like about myself. I like that I really want to share information and help, right? So if there's something that I learned that helped me in my own life, I'm excited to share it with you because I think it can help you too, and I'm gonna get really excited for sharing that. So I like that about myself. I like that I I try really hard. So sometimes I try too hard, but I like that I'm genuinely committed to continuing going at something, and if I fail at it, I'm gonna keep going. I like that I'm a dog lover. I love dogs and I love all animals. There's a few things off the top of my head that I like about myself. What about you? So if you're focused on that and you think hard enough, I want you to get really clear on what it is you like about yourself. So if you have an education, a degree, means you probably worked hard in school, right? But just giving you some ideas. First, decide that you like yourself and get really clear on why. And then it'll be easier for you to decide, you know, do I like them, right? Are they a good match for me, right? 'Cause if we're coming at it from, do they like me? I hope they like me. It's all about whether we get the approval, right? But we forget that we have to give the approval too. Your life is your life. You get one wild and precious life, and you don't want to waste it working somewhere that you don't even like with people that you don't even want to spend time with. So we're missing all this. We're like, oh, I hope they like us. Well, what about you? Do you like them? That's what you need to be worried about. So when you're able to focus your attention to do you like them, the first step is decide you like you, figure out why you like you, and then decide whether or not you like them. So then you can be asking more creative questions like, what is it about them that I'm gonna want to be a part of? Why do I want to be a part of that organization? Why do I want to work there? What is it that they're gonna be able to offer to me as well as what can I offer to them, right? Is it gonna be a mutual fit? This is what you really want to be focusing on, okay? Because this is where the self-confidence and the self-esteem comes from. Right? And if you're asking, how do I be more likable? How do I get people to like me? This probably means that you're looking for approval from an external source when you need to give yourself that approval to start with, right? Because really nobody can give you that approval, right? There's always going to be people that like you and there's always going to be people that don't like you. And that's okay. We wouldn't want to change that. We don't want everyone to like us because that would mean we're really boring, right? There's this famous quote. It says, to avoid criticism, You must do nothing, be nothing, do nothing. I don't remember how it goes exactly, but something like that. You get the idea, right? If you're focusing on what it is that you want, then you can bring that in versus being the person who's just everything to everyone and wanting everybody to like you, right? Like, oh, I hope they like me. But you know what? Nobody ever said, you know, she really looked like she was doubting herself quite a bit. She really, she really looked unsure of herself. I think we want to hire her. That's not how it goes, okay? So just keep that in mind and stop doing that. Once you figure that out, I want you to keep in mind that the next step is to have your own strong boundaries and high self-esteem and know what that is, okay? So that having strong boundaries and having high self-esteem means that you're comfortable in yourself, you like yourself, and you are prepared for other people not to like you, not to agree, not to mesh with you, not to be the preference of everybody, right? So I have a story to tell. It was pretty funny to me when I heard this. So I worked with this lady, her name was Brenda, and she was a trainer. So she came in and she did trainings for organizations, and she did presentations on good customer service and support and Teamwork and all that stuff. Anyway, so she was an older lady and she was quite large, right? Like no judgment here. I've been very overweight myself, but just stating the facts here. She was quite a large woman. And so we were having lunch one day and she was telling me this story about how she went to the doctor and how she was in her 50s and the doctor was saying to her, "You know, Brenda, I think you should consider losing some weight. I think it would be good for your health." moving forward? And Brenda was like, no, you know, I'm pretty happy with how I am. She's like, I don't really think I need to lose any weight. And she, she's just like totally comfortably at home with herself, not, you know, having any issues with the fact that she was overweight. And then the doctor said to her, Brenda, you know what your problem is? And Brenda's like, what's that? And she's like, your self-esteem is too high. So I thought that was pretty funny because it's a perfect example of the fact that Brenda didn't have a problem with her weight, right? And if someone else did, even her doctor, even a person of authority, you know, who you would trust and, you know, believe would have a good point as to what you were saying, Brenda was like, no, you know what, I think I'm fine. So there's a good example of having strong boundaries, which means you have high self-esteem, right? So if, for example, This is another good example. So somebody might say to me, you know, you're a little bit too loud, too enthusiastic, you ask too many questions. Maybe you should tone it down a bit, right? Having my strong boundary and having strong self-esteem, I might say, you know what? That's just kind of how I am. If you don't like it, that's cool, but I don't think you and I are gonna get along too well, right? And that's okay, right? 'Cause lots of people really love that about me. So It's fine. I just want you to understand that you can have your own strong boundaries, right? And if it's something that you want to work on, so say maybe you don't like that you ask so many questions, or you're like, well, maybe I could, you know, tone it down a bit or whatever, you can make that decision, but you got to make it for you. So you got to say, yeah, maybe that is something I'd like to work on, right? You could say, you know, sometimes I do ask a few too many questions, right? But don't make it mean something that there's something wrong with you, right? Like we're humans, and we're all going to have things that we like and things that we don't like. But just Have your own core self in mind and don't judge yourself for being who you are. And there's definitely something to be said for being who you are no matter what, right? Because people will either accept you or they won't. And think about this, if you listen to every piece of feedback that people gave you and you changed everything— so say somebody who said to me, Natalie, you got to stop asking so many questions. Natalie, you got to quiet down a bit. Natalie, you got to tone it down. Natalie. And then someone else will say, hey, you know what? I think you're really quiet and I think you should be louder. And then someone else would say, hey, you know what? I think you should just not talk. Right? These are all people's reflections of what they are thinking, right? But if I tried to change to everything, I would end up nothing, right? So we have to remember who we are at our core and own who we are. who we are and be proud of who we are, right? So that's how you actually become likable. So contrary to popular belief, you think you need to make yourself different so someone else will like you. But if you did that, they don't really like you. They like the version of you that you created or that you changed into for them. Moral of the story here, own your own self. Own who you want to be and like it, because there is no downside to that. All right, so if you want some more help from me, I have some free resources below that you can grab. So the first one I want to invite you to is a free workshop. It's called How to Get Any Job You Want. The first thing we're going to go over is opportunities, so how to get infinite opportunities so you'll never have to worry about where your next opportunity is coming from. Crushing your interviews. So how to focus on what you can control to nail those interviews and how to get a win no matter what. So whether they like you or they don't, how you're still going to feel intact and how you're still going to feel confident in yourself to keep going to ultimately get to your goal. The third thing we're going to talk about, mastering salary negotiations so that you can make the money that you want to make over the course of your lifetime. So we're talking 5, 10 years out. What is it that you want to be doing? Okay, so you're probably thinking pretty small right now if you're like most people. I want to challenge you to think bigger. Four, we're going to talk about setting up your promotion. So the things you need to be focused on right now in order to get where you actually want to go. So if you're interested in that, click the link below. You can get it immediately. You just have to enter your information and I'll be in your inbox. And if you like the video, give me thumbs up. If you didn't like it, give me thumbs down. Subscribe to the channel. And I will see you here next week with another video. Oh, and if you want more free resources, if the training's not for you right now or you just want some quick free guides, I've got those on my website. Go check out www.nataliefisher.ca and I have a free resources tab. You can just check out what you like and I got you covered. Awesome. Thanks so much. See you next week. Bye. Bye.
