In this coaching video, Natalie Fisher explains why most job candidates obsess over interviewers’ opinions and offers a step‑by‑step mental framework to break that habit. She starts by naming the common self‑critical thoughts that trigger nervousness (e.g., “I hope they like me,” “I need to perform”). She then urges viewers to first ask themselves whether they like themselves, would hire themselves, and believe in the value they bring. This internal approval is presented as the foundation for confidence. Fisher stresses that interviewers’ reactions are outside the candidate’s control, so the focus should shift from seeking external validation to a curiosity‑driven mindset about how the candidate can help the employer. She outlines how thoughts shape feelings, which shape behavior and communication, and recommends adopting emotions like confidence, curiosity, motivation, and excitement instead of nervousness or desperation. Practical tips include becoming aware of internal dialogue before the interview, reframing negative statements, and maintaining a self‑approval stance regardless of the interviewer’s feedback. The video concludes with calls to action for further resources, coaching, and subscription.
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Hey, so welcome to this week's video. We're gonna talk about how to not care what other people think of you in a job interview and in general. This is a tough one, isn't it? 'Cause you can say you don't care, but most of us, we care deep down because it's hard not to, right? We wanna be liked by people and that's normal. So stay tuned. All right, so a job interview is a situation where you might be concerned about people judging you. And you might be concerned about being liked. So I'm going to share some steps with you today that are going to help you to stop caring so much about what they are thinking about you. So your thoughts. A lot of people before an interview, they're going to have thoughts like, I hope they like me. And people having thoughts like that don't serve them. So if you're going into an interview thinking, I hope they like me, I hope they like me, that's probably going to make you feel nervous. Okay, and it's that thought, that sentence in your head that says, I hope they like me, that's what's making you feel nervous. Or another one that I hear often is, I need to perform, I need to put on a performance, okay? And that feels really heavy and it feels like a lot of pressure and it doesn't feel like very fun. So that's also probably gonna make you feel tense and nervous if you're anything like the people that I've worked with. So I want you to identify that that thought, I hope they like me, or I need to put on a performance, or I need to perform, Is what's causing your nervousness and what's causing you to care so much about what they think. So I want you to shift that thought to something else. But first, what I'd like you to ask yourself is, do you like you? Do you think you're pretty good? Would you hire you? Okay? And that's where you have to get to first. Because if you can't believe that what you have to offer is valuable, if you can't believe that you would be a good employee and a good asset and what you have to offer is good, then you can't expect them to get there either, because self-confident people simply like themselves. So why it's so important for you to be clear on whether you like you or not is because you're inevitably going to get thrown off when you go into the interview. The interviewers are going to behave in a certain way, and you're not going to be able to control how they behave, right? So you might want them to give you feedback, and you might want them to be responsive, but they might not, right? Sometimes we get a great interviewer and they nod along and they, you know, they're responsive to us and we're having great conversation, but that doesn't always happen. So sometimes the interviewer cannot give you any feedback at all. They might just stay quiet and ask you another question. And if you're not confident in yourself at this point, you're going to be all in your head second-guessing yourself, like, oh, was that a good answer? Did I say it right? And the truth is you can't control how they respond. So you have to ask yourself, do I think that was a good answer? Do I feel confident in myself? Was that a good answer for me? And if it wasn't, you can say, well, I'll improve upon it next time. But what I want you to focus on is how you want to show up in the interview and how you are responding, okay? Because you can't control their reactions and what they do. So I want you to keep that in mind when you're interviewing and be prepared for people to throw you off, because they will. And basically, you need to give yourself the approval. Because approving of yourself and liking yourself is your job. It's not anyone else's job, okay? And that's where you have to get to first, and that's where self-confidence comes from. How you feel drives your results, so you need to be feeling a certain way to get the results you want, and that's caused by the thought that you had in your head. So if your thought was, I hope they like me, you're gonna feel nervous. And you're going to get a certain result. You want to change that thought around, but you need to feel a certain way to get the result you want. So ideally we want you to be feeling confident, feeling motivated, feeling inspired, feeling curious. Curious is a good one. You want to be in curious energy as to how you can help them. And you want to be excited. If you can get to any of those emotions, you're in a good spot to interview. So when you're in that place, you're going to drive a lot better results than if you're coming from a place of nervousness, Or tense or unworthiness or hesitance or desperation, right? And you'll see that the thoughts you think are going to cause those feelings for you. So if you're thinking, I hope they like me, that's going to cause nervousness. If you're thinking something like, I'm really curious as to how I can help them, I wonder what I'm going to be able to do for them, that's going to be coming from the feeling of curiosity and you're going to be feeling motivated and confident to see how you can figure out how you can help them. Do you see the difference there? The way that you create those feelings for yourself is through how you choose to think. So a good indication of how you're feeling is what you're choosing to think. So what sentences in your head are you choosing to keep there? So before an interview, do you think to yourself, I hope they like me, or I have to put on a performance, or this is going to be a waste of time, or what do you think before the interview? Get really, really present and really conscious of that thought or those thoughts that you're having. Okay, that's the first step. So if you're too focused on yourself, thinking about you and wondering if they're gonna like you, and you're looking at the interviewer's faces, looking for them to see if you're doing it right or you're giving them the right answer, then that's not the best place to come from and you're not gonna drive the best results from there, okay? Because you're focused on you. So the key is to be focused on them and how you can help them. So you wanna get into a discussion about what they're doing and how you can specifically apply what you know and what you bring to what they're working on. So they're going to go back to their desk, they're going to have a job to do, and they want to know how you as the new hire is going to come in and assist them with this. When you are focused on looking for external validation from somebody else, you can't control that and whether or not you get that, and it shouldn't matter. The problem with this is when you are relying on that external validation All your focus is on is you and how you feel about yourself and what it means about you. And you can't really share or serve from that place because your mind is all on you. I hope I'm being clear on that. It's not just about the words that you say. People will come to me and they will they will want to tell me that they did exactly what they were supposed to do. They're like, I said it exactly how I was supposed to. And while you can do that, there is a lot more to it than just the words you say. For example. A guy goes up to a girl in a bar and he might say the words, can I buy you a drink? She might say no. And then another guy might go up and say the exact same words. He might say, can I buy you a drink? And she might say yes. So what's the difference between these 2 guys? So if the guy comes from an energy of hesitancy, of like, I'm pretty sure she's going to say no, but I'm going to try anyway. And he's just like, can I buy you a drink? And he's all shy and, you know, not coming from a place of confidence. She's probably gonna be like, no thank you, but thank you, right? Like, and if a guy comes up and he's just, you know, he's certain and he's kind of expecting her to say yes and he's just like, can I buy you a drink? She's gonna say yes, right? Or she's more likely to say yes, right? So the words are not everything, okay? So you could go in and you can say the exact right words, but if you're coming from a place of nervousness and not feeling it and you don't really believe what you're saying, then it's going to come off that way and not gonna work. So it's about what you're thinking while you're saying it, okay? It's about how you're thinking while you're saying it. So it's not just about the words that you're saying. We want to give yourself the approval first. So the most important thing is the thoughts you're thinking are leading to the feelings that you're having, which are leading to how you're showing up, what you're saying, and how you're saying it, okay? And the most important thing here is you need to know that people are gonna throw you off and you cannot control what people are going to say or how they're going to react to you. All you can control is how you want to show up, the person you want to be, and would you hire you, and do you like yourself. And if you can answer yes to those, then you are in a good spot. If you are not quite there yet, check out some of my other videos on how to build and boost your self-confidence before an interview, and they will help you out as well. All right, so that's the end of the video. I hope you liked it. Subscribe to my channel. Give me a thumbs up or a thumbs down. Apply for a call below where we can get on a call together and we can discuss what your specific situation is, how I can help you, and what's holding you back. Or you can download one of my free resources available below. And if you want to check out more from me, just go to my website www.nataliefisher.ca and I will see you there. All right. See you next week. Bye. All right, that was improvised. That was pretty good, right? That was pretty good. I think so. All right. Okay, next video. Bye.
