How to stay POSITIVE while looking for a job (Job search depression)

Today I'm addressing the subject of job search depression, job search anxiety, and the common emotional roller coaster that comes with looking for a new job and what it can be like and how to stay motivated when you're looking for a new job and things are not going as planned. So stay tuned. First thing, yes, it is challenging and that's okay. So the big misconception we have is that it's going to be super easy And it should always feel good. But when we're doing something challenging, something worthwhile, something that in the end is going to be amazing, it's not always going to be really easy all the way there. So you can think of it like climbing a mountain or getting to a destination, but it's— sometimes you hit red lights, and I'm going to go into that in a minute. But you can't always expect it to be super easy. And I think the reason why so many people get really discouraged really quickly and get really demotivated is because they kind of thought it was going to be a lot easier than it was. But in the reality of things in life, things are actually a lot harder. They take more time, they take more money, they take more than we anticipated. And once we learned that, then we're just going to keep going until we get there because we understand that it's a process and it's not always super easy. And that's okay because we can still do it. So accepting the fact that what you're doing is a challenging thing So it's not going to be rainbows and daisies the whole time can bring you a lot of peace, just knowing that, and just knowing that you're not the only one who goes through this. Sometimes people give up too quickly, or sometimes people just stay in a job they don't like because they don't want to go through that, or they just lose motivation and they don't stay in action, and then they don't get to where they're going. And the reason is because they thought it was going to be easy the whole time. So just remember that what you're doing is a challenging thing. Not everybody is And that's why you, you keeping going is what's going to get you to the successful finish line where you're starting your new job. No one is making you do it. You could take any old job. You could go on welfare. Now, I'm not saying you should do those things, but what I'm saying is if you're striving for something better in your life, you want a dream job, you want to do a career shift, or you want to change careers, you want to make more money, that is because you are somebody who wants more for yourself. And the people who want more for themselves, everything isn't super easy for them because they don't always choose the super easy, comfortable road. Because if they did, they wouldn't be willing to do the work to get what they wanted, which was more for themselves and for their families and for their lives. So just recognizing that no one's making you do it and that that's a beautiful thing about you is that you want more. And the fact that it's hard and it's challenging Is okay. The next thing I want to talk about is something called the river of misery. So say you are at point A right now. You're able to pay the bills, you're okay, you got a roof over your head, you got clean drinking water. That's what's called the pond of misery. So it's not very deep and you can splash around in the pond, but it's not really where you want to be. So you need to decide to embark on that journey Down what's called the river of misery. And anything worthwhile is gonna just— is going to require a time of discomfort between where you are and where you want to be. And that's anything worthwhile. So lots of things like weight loss, building a business, getting your dream job, having a baby— all of those things go through a time where you are uncomfortable. That's what happens before you actually get to the point where you are where you wanted to be. So it's a journey and it's called the river of misery. So with weight loss, for example, you'll have to say no to a lot of foods that you really wanted to eat. Building a business, for example, you'll have to put a lot of blog posts out there or do a lot of actions where nobody cares and nobody's paying any attention yet. Maybe you're just not very good at it yet, right? Because you're embarking on a journey where you have to get started and getting started and doing things in the beginning can be uncomfortable. Especially if it's not working yet, because it takes some time to build momentum and get really good at it and then actually start to see the success. And most people can't hang on for long enough to see the success. Most people will give up before they get there. Another thing with building a business is there's lots of rejection and lots of things that don't work at first because you're creating something out of nothing. That is a huge journey. Getting your dream job is also faced with rejection, right? You're going to get rejected. You're going to get told no, and that can't knock you out of the game. You have to understand that that is just part of the process. So with a dream job and you're going out there and you're getting rejected, of course it makes sense that you would not want to keep going. You would not want to keep going on that interview and keep reaching out to people because your brain says, well, that kind of sucked. I don't really want to do that because it didn't feel very good last time. And that is part of the river of misery journey. Because yes, that makes perfect sense that you don't want to, but if you stop there, and depending on for how long you stop or quit or give up, that's what slows you down. And then you end up just standing there in the pond again. You end up in the pond and then you're not moving down the river. This is where a coach really comes in handy. So someone who's with you and sees the finish line, they stop you from quitting, even the little times when you want to quit for just a bit, and they see and support you through the entire process until the Your willingness to continue to get up and go back out there and try again is what is going to get you there. So whether or not you have some— a support system in place or you don't, you need to tell your brain when you get rejected and when it doesn't work out that, you know what, that's okay. That's part of the process. This is just how it goes. This is what I need to do to get to where I want to go. And the rejection doesn't mean anything about me. It just means that opportunity didn't work out. What's next? And that's the thing. So if you've been turned down for a job interview 2 or 3 times, you definitely probably don't want to keep going on them, right? But if you don't keep going on them, then what's the alternative? You either have to embark on another river of misery journey to get to somewhere else, like build a business, or you need to go back and head on to your dream job journey. And the times when in between there where you're quitting and you're feeling demotivated are the times they're going to slow you down because you've got to come— you've got to make up for the lost When you were knocked out of the game and keep going, right? Because the alternative, I'm guessing, is not going to work for you because you're here and you're seeking help. You're watching this video, and I'm assuming that even if you quit for a bit, you're going to end up going back to it because what's the alternative? It would be either going on welfare or just not doing anything, right? And I'm guessing that's not you. So even though it's hard to get up and keep going, even after you've been rejected, you have to recognize that it's actually okay. You didn't die. The worst that happened was you felt a feeling that you didn't like. It was uncomfortable and you didn't like it. Sometimes our brain thinks we are going to die when we get rejected, and that's how we are wired. That's how our brain works. But we didn't die, and it's— that's why it's okay and necessary to keep going in these situations. It's okay to be disappointed, but it's how fast you can bounce back that will dictate how fast you get the results you want and how fast you get to the finish line. If you didn't get selected for something that you were really excited about, yes, of course you're going to be disappointed, and it's okay to feel that feeling of disappointment and keep going. The trick is what you decide to make it mean. So a lot of people make it mean something personal about themselves, and sometimes people make it mean that they will never get to their goal, and that's the thoughts that they're, that they're choosing to think. So they might think, oh, that's not going to work out, I'm never going to get my dream job. They might think, I'm not likable. Nobody likes me. I had a comment on my YouTube channel recently where somebody said the human race hates me, and he was so convinced of this. That's not true, okay? And it's just— it's not about you. It's just part of the process. And thinking that it is about you really does you no good. You just beat yourself up, and then you don't want to go out there again and get to where you want to go. The most successful people don't make it about themselves because it serves no purpose. They choose to think differently. The easiest way is to just say, okay, well, that didn't work out. What's next? What other opportunities do I have going on? Or, oh well, now I'm freed up to interview with companies that really do need me. You can choose whatever you want as long as it serves you and it keeps you moving. Just remember, this process isn't always easy and it's not always fun, and that's okay. There you have it, the 4 mental tools to continuing to stay positive in the job search. So if you like this video, subscribe to the channel, give me a thumbs up or a thumbs down, sign up for a call with me below. We can chat on a video conferencing chat where we'll talk about your specific situation, what it is that you want to achieve, what you think is holding you back right now, and how I could possibly help you. You can also check out my free resources below, free downloads, or if you want to learn more about me, you can go to my website at www. Natalie Fisher dot ca. Thanks so much for watching, and I'll see you next week. I want to put some outtakes in there, but I don't know. The best I have is my dog, and she's not making any noise right now, so I'm not— how about just something like, don't get down, you got this? Okay, cool. Hopefully that was good.