How to STOP comparing yourself to others in your career

Today's topic is how to stop comparing yourself to others in your career. So stay tuned. If you have a comparison problem, this video is for you. I work with a lot of clients and something that comes up quite a lot is, and let me know if this sounds familiar, she's doing so much better than me. She's so much farther along than me. She has the same education and the same degree and the same qualifications, but she's making so much more money than me. She is so much better than me. He has advanced so much more quickly than me. He got the job even when he didn't have experience, and I have a degree and experience and I can't, can't succeed like he is. So these, and whatever form it comes in for you, is a A form of comparing yourself to another person. And the funny thing is, is that we always compare ourselves to the people that are doing better. And the people that are doing better are always going to exist in the world. So no matter how successful you are, no matter where you are on your journey or your path, there's always going to be somebody who's doing better than you, no matter where you are. There's also going to be somebody who's doing worse than you, right? But we always look at the people doing better And use those people as a reason to believe that we aren't doing well enough or we aren't where we should be. So I just find that really interesting because we can choose to look at the people who aren't doing very well, but we don't ever even see that. They're not even in our awareness. But we look at the people who are doing so much better and we use those people's accomplishments, those people's successes to make ourselves feel bad. Okay, so you're not alone. I've done this too. So that's what I want to talk about today. So we're going to dive in. The first thing I want to offer is that you get to decide how you think about somebody who's doing better than you. Okay? And on default, on default, our brain is going to tell us we should be farther along, we should be doing better, we haven't done enough yet. And then we feel crappy because we're not at that same level. But what I want to offer you is you can choose to have a different thought about that, right? Because thinking in the way that you are is making you feel crappy. And when you feel crappy, you don't actually want to take the actions to get better because you kind of in your head resolve yourself to thinking, oh well, you know, I'm just not them. I'm just not as smart as they are. I'm not as fast mover as they are. I just don't know what to do like they do. And those are the thoughts that start to creep in and take over your mind. And when that happens, you don't ever take the steps to advance your own career and your own life, right? Because you get discouraged by those thoughts. While those thoughts are normal and a lot of us have them, and I used to have them too, What I want you to recognize is they do you no good in actually advancing yourself, right? Because you're looking outside at someone else's success when really you need to be looking at your own path forward and what you can do to advance your own path. So when you do that and you keep your eyes in your own lane and you're focusing on yourself, then you're able to actually take steps to make yourself more successful. But while that's not in your awareness, because you're comparing yourself to others and you have this internal narrative that's saying, you know, oh, this person's so much farther ahead, these people are so much farther ahead, you're not aware of what you need to be doing on a day-to-day basis to actually advance yourself to where you want to go, right? And to actually start meeting your goals, right? And even when you do get to those goals, there's still going to be somebody who's farther ahead than you. Right? And there's nothing wrong with that. Everybody is on their own journey, and you're never going to be the person who's at the very front, who's succeeding the most out of the entire world, because you're always going to have someone who's ahead of you, and you're always going to have somebody who's behind you, and that's okay. So here's what I offer you. You can choose to let somebody who's succeeding make you feel inadequate not good enough, like you haven't accomplished enough yet, make you feel behind, or this person can inspire you, they can motivate you, they can teach you something, they can make you want to learn from them. The second way is going to get you personally a lot more success, and ultimately that's what you want, right? You want to be more successful. When you're able to refocus your energy on how you can learn from this person, what you can observe that this person is doing, how this person has moved ahead so quickly, what it is that this person did and how they can inspire, motivate you and what you can learn from them, then you open up a whole new world of possibilities for yourself because we can't argue with reality. They do exist. They are maybe quote-unquote doing better than us. But to compare ourselves in a way that makes us feel inadequate and like not enough is never going to serve us, right? It's never going to serve you in actually moving forward on your own journey. So that's what I have to offer for this, is that you need to choose very consciously how you think about somebody who's doing better than you, because you can't get away from the fact that in the world There's always going to be people doing better than you. And secondly, I want you to consider all the people that wish they were where you are right now. All the people that might look at you and say, wow, I wish I could do what this person has done. I wish I could be where you are. I wish that I wasn't so behind in my life. I wish I made better decisions like you did. Right? And when you think about those people, they're feeling the same way that you are about this person ahead of you, right? And it's just how the world works. It's just the way of it where everybody is not on the same path. We're not all marching in line in the same direction on the same path. We're all taking our own different journeys. And your journey might take a bit longer or it might not. And you have to set your expectations for that and be very self-aware of what you actually want and how you're gonna get there. And I can guarantee you that comparing yourself to somebody else in a way that makes you feel inadequate and like you're not enough and like you're behind will never serve you in getting to where you wanna go faster. Right? It'll never help you. There is no upside. Get this, there is zero upside in actually comparing yourself to someone else and saying they're doing better, they're making more money, I'm not enough, I'm behind. Those specific thoughts, those specific sentences in your brain are never gonna help you to focus on you, focus on what you need to be doing to get where you want to go. So more useful thoughts. That person has managed to move through very quickly. I wonder what they did. I wonder how they accomplished that. I wonder why they did that so quickly. I wonder what they did differently. What can I learn from this person? Maybe I can have a conversation with this person and ask them. This person is amazing. That will help you if you can get to that point, right? Because then you can actually learn from this person. You can get curious about this person. And people who are succeeding They often want to help other people who were where they were before, right? So if you approach them and were to say, hey, would you have a coffee with me? Or would you have a chat with me? I really admire what you've been able to accomplish in your career. And I'd love to figure out how you did it because I'd like to take a similar path. Person's probably going to remember how they were in that same position a while back because they didn't start like that. They didn't just wake up one morning and become successful. They took steps, they made decisions. They're probably going to be happy to help somebody like you who is not as far along in the journey, right? So when you can use this person's success to your advantage instead of using this person's success as a way to make yourself feel bad, you'll be able to actually advance and actually get to where you want to go faster, right? And it'll be more fun too because you don't have to have those feelings of inadequacy Because really they don't serve you at all. The only thing those thoughts do where you feel inadequate and you feel like you're behind, you feel like you're comparing yourself because you're not good enough, the only thing those thoughts do are serve you to fail ahead of time. So they stop you in your tracks from taking action because why bother? You've got so much farther to go. You're not really doing that well. This person's so much farther ahead. Why would I even try? So these things, thinking these things on purpose or thinking these things like on default, like your brain might be telling you, it's just going to make you fail ahead of time. And when you fail ahead of time, you don't actually move forward, right? And then your thought that they're doing so much better and that they're so much more successful and that you're not good enough becomes true because you're not taking steps to get where you want to go. So those thoughts only serve you In failing ahead of time. And when we fail ahead of time, we don't make any progress. So what they do is they lead you to mentally check out, right? You just kind of check out on yourself. You might not even realize it because you're thinking, oh well, it's not really possible anyway. And then without even realizing it, you avoid all the things you actually need to do to get to where you want to go. Okay, I want to help you with an example. Olympic medalists. You will never see an Olympic medalist looking around at what other Olympic competitors are doing. They just do not have time for that. So let's use the simplest example. You're running a race. You're representing your country. You want to win the gold medal. You've been training for years. Imagine if when you're running that race, you need to take time to look around to see what others are doing. You're like, oh, I wonder what they're doing. I wonder how they're running. Oh, they're so much further ahead than me. Oh, that sucks. Imagine if that's what you were thinking. You'd never even have a shot, right? And that's why Olympic medalists, if you watch them, you will never find them looking around to try to see what other people are doing. They simply do not have time for that. And I had the privilege of watching a video with one of my mentors and instructors where she won an Olympic gold medal for rowing. Rowing was— obviously it's a team sport, and they were in their boat and they were rowing for the gold medal. You could see how they won, and they were not— one single person in that boat was looking around. You can notice that the people who did not win You could see a few of them looking outside their boats, right, to see what other people were doing. But it actually does no good to focus on what other people are doing because you can't control it. You have no hold on it. There is nothing you can do about it. So what is the upside? So once you start focusing on yourself, what you can do to improve each day, what you need to do to get where you want to go, what thoughts you can have in your head every day to control How you reach your goals, what you do, how you feel, and what actions you take. Once you start focusing on yourself, you can actually succeed so much faster because you're only focusing on the thing that you have control over, which is you. So I want to help you with some thoughts that will really help you to overcome comparing. And if you're in the habit of comparing, you might not stop doing this overnight. But it is a practice that you have to train yourself to do if you're going to succeed, and you have to stop comparing yourself and feeling bad. So I want to offer you some thoughts to do that. Number 1, nobody is running the same race, and we're not meant to. You're on your path, everyone else is on their path. It's all good. Number 2, the stories that you see of people who are very successful have moved very quickly, they are the ultimate examples of what is possible. If they were able to achieve it, it means that you can also achieve it. Number 3, everybody has to start somewhere. So those super successful people that you see now thriving and succeeding, they started somewhere just like you. They made some decisions, they had some thoughts, they took some actions, but they had to start somewhere like you. They did not just wake up one day and automatically be handed the success. Number 4, every single person that you see that is succeeding at a further rate than you has something to teach you. There is something to learn from that person. There is something that they did that will benefit you. There is a thought that they had that will benefit you. They have something to offer that will help you 100%. And then number 5, there will always be people who are ahead of you and there will always be people who are behind you. That is the way of the world. Once you accept that, you can start focusing on yourself. You can move forward and you can create what you really want to create for your life. And the most important thing, number 6, success for them does not mean that there is now less success available for you. So a lot of us think that for some reason they think, oh well, they've already done it. There's not going to be any way that I can do it now because they've taken the only success that exists. Maybe if you work in the same company, this is what you're thinking, right? Not true. Success for them does not equal less success for you. In fact, you being in their orbit and seeing what they've done equals more success for you, right? More possibility of success because success breeds success. And the last thing I want you to do is if you find yourself slipping into comparing yourself to others a lot and you feel like this is causing you a problem and holding you back in your life, Ask for help. Ask for help with this. There's something you can do about it. Somebody else's success, somebody else's success just means that it's possible for you. And if you want to find out how that's possible for you, ask for help. If you're just not quite there yet and you can't get out of the comparisonitis, I can help you with that. I've helped hundreds of clients overcome this, and if you are not able to do it on your own, It is very important that you reach out for help because if you don't, consider what could happen years later if you don't change your thought patterns. You could be yet again considering or comparing yourself to yet somebody else, right? And you would never be the person that's succeeding. And the reason why that happens is not because you can't succeed, but because you are wasting all your mental energy on comparing yourself to other people. And even if it's just a subtle undertone of your thoughts day Day to day that will still depress you, make you feel bad, and it will block you in your tracks from creating that success for yourself. Trust me, I have been there. I know what that is like, and I know that it doesn't have to be the way of your life. So if you'd like more help from me, please check out the links below, and I would be happy to assist you to never have to worry about comparing yourself to somebody else again, using it to your advantage. Not to your detriment. The greatest advice ever here is to work on yourself. Focus on yourself. Like I said, the Olympic medalists, you will never find them looking around at what other people are up to. They just don't have time for it. All right, so if you'd like more help from me to become a rock star or a superstar, get that raise, get what you'd like to accomplish in your career, check out the links below. You can visit me at my website, www. I have a free workshop, free guides. I also offer a consultation call with me where you can get on the call with me and we can discuss specifically what's going on for you and how I can help you if you're interested in one-on-one coaching. And I'm— we can work together. If you'd like to leave me a comment, I would love that. Don't forget to give me a thumbs up if you liked the video or a thumbs down if you didn't like the video. Subscribe to the channel if you haven't already and leave me a comment. And I will see you next week. Thank you so much. Bye.