Stuck Below Six Figures? Here's What's Actually Blocking You
Natalie Fisher coaches on why mindset blocks six-figure careers. She identifies limiting beliefs like ageism and past rejection, then shows how to reframe them, take bold networking moves, and stop overthinking. She argues shame around high pay is the real barrier.
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All right, I'm so excited to talk to you about the energetics of the job hunt today. I think that this is something that people don't talk about very much. We're just not like— it's very easy to see like a post that just says, oh, do these 5 things, do these 10 things, and you'll nail your interview. But really, the practical really doesn't do anything unless you've got the backing behind it, unless you've got your mindset behind it. Okay, so I want to answer all your questions. I want to take everything that everyone has to say and address it, but also I'm going to go through some key things. So the first one is getting behind the new reality of a new paying job, a high-paying job that values you. So the thing that gets in the way of this is your beliefs. And people argue with me on this, but I'm just talking to the people who want to get on board with it. Okay. Because that's what it is. That's what has been true for me. And it's like, I want to share it with people who actually really want to believe that you can change anything in your life if you can just master your mindset, because that's the truth of it. And if you don't believe me, then this is probably not for you because you can totally master your mindset and change everything. So the first thing is getting behind your new reality. So the things that are going to get in the way of this for most people, and even just in the first week, I've had people like in my identity challenge, in my containers, they're always working through limiting beliefs. Some of the most common ones are, I'm dealing with age discrimination. And it's like, this is a real thing. I'm dealing with the economy. This is a real thing. And so I'm just gonna say, it's not that These things are not real. It's just how— what you believe about yourself and what you believe is possible despite these things being real. And yes, in some cases things are harder, and it's like, let's just deal with the fact that it's harder and then proceed, right? Not get stuck, not get blocked by the fact that this is so hard and this is my roadblock and I can't move past it, but thinking, okay, yes, this is harder, and how am I going to move past it? How is this going to be my journey? So some of the limiting beliefs that come up are, I'm too old, I'm too young. Another one is, I'm not good at interviewing. I just don't like talking about myself. I'm just not really into networking. I don't have enough experience. Other candidates are better than me. People just don't see me as that person. And like, and then if you, for example, have been rejected a bunch of times, people think, oh, it's because there's no demand for what I do. It's because I don't have enough of this or I don't have enough of that. I need to get more. So it's always that more, more, more mentality. Or you were told something once and you made it to mean that it was the ultimate truth. So for example, I had one of my clients be told that she talked too much in interviews. Someone told her, and, or she had the impression that she was talking too much. And I'm like, well, why do you have that impression? And she said, because people always say, oh, well, I guess that takes care of my next question then, because she already said it. And then she's like, and then I don't get the offer. And so that is a belief that she was forming about I talk too much. And I'm— that's a belief that we need to challenge because is that ultimately true? Does she talk too much? Well, maybe not for the people that hired her already, right? Because she's been hired in the past and it's like, well, if you've already been hired, then obviously you don't talk too much for the people that hired you because they thought you talked the perfect amount and they liked what you said, right? So we can't make something that someone says one time mean something about ultimately what's possible for you or ultimately what you have to change, right? Another one came up was, I'm too good at my job. I I think that people think that I'm pointing out these things that, that, you know, are not above— like, they're— she was saying something about how she's really good at pointing stuff out that's substandard. So when there's something that is not like up to par, up to standards, and if there was going to be an investigation or an audit or something, like, she would have caught that beforehand. And she's really good at catching that stuff. But the company or companies that she was in before actually didn't want to hear from her on that. They were just like, just be quiet. Like, don't actually tell us that. We're not interested in that. And so she took that to mean that she needed like dim her light and like not be so strong about what she was communicating, and that she needed to ultimately be less good at her job, which would be the alternative to this, right? And so the coaching there was like, that's a limitation that has formed based on what had happened. And really, it's like, it's also an opportunity to step into being like, how am I going to be more of who I am? And how am I going to find the places where they actually appreciate this about me? And that takes courage, because yes, there's going to be places who just want to hire somebody to look good and like look like on the surface they fix the problem. They don't actually really want to fix the problem. I was in a situation like that too, and I ended up leaving because I was like, no, I'm actually here to fix the problem. I don't want— like, I'm not here just to make you look good, right? Like, I'm actually— like, that's like somebody of integrity. They're like, no, I actually want to fix it. So it's like the answer is not to become less. It's not to talk less. It's not to do less or be less. It's to actually say, okay, how is this an opportunity for me to find my actual people, for me to find a better fit for me to find an actual match for where I need to be, because obviously this is the wrong address. Like I was saying, it's— she's the right package at the wrong address. And that's happened to many of you, I know, right? You're in a situation where you are not appreciated, you're not valued, yet you will be in the right— at the right address, right? All right, so getting behind it regardless what beliefs were handed to you. So some beliefs can go back from when you were very, very young. Right? It could be like, I'm not good enough. I had a client whose dad would always tell him that he was an idiot or something, right? And so then that stuck with him, right? It's like an old subconscious belief, thinking he's an idiot, right? Even though he could have done all these things that prove that that's not true. And like, even if a child, like a young girl, can teach herself how to speak Chinese, if she keeps being told she's an idiot, she will believe she's an idiot, right? So it's like, are there any things like that that could be getting in the way for you? Like, I'm not good enough, there are other people better, like, or like, of my clients had this, like, I'm a slow learner. I just— I'm really slow. I'm always really slow. It's like, is that really true? Right? We can look at aspects of your life where that's not true at all, right? And it's like, nothing is ultimately true unless you believe it is. And that's what you're believing right now is creating what you've got around you right now. And so it's just about reframing these stories. And you can ultimately process these limiting beliefs a lot faster and get your results a lot faster. It is like You get to see through this cloud of fog or this cloud of smoke, and you get to see the path in front of you. Or you just take a leap of faith and you start taking the actions even though you can't see the next steps in front of you, and you will start to get there faster, right? The problem is when we sit in front of that cloud of smoke and we think, oh, I just have to wait for the smoke to clear, because the smoke is not going to clear on its own. It just won't, right? You'll sit there forever and just be like, well, it's just this, this is just the economy smoke. I need to wait for it to clear. And like, it'll be a form of self-sabotage to use it as an excuse for why you're not moving forward. Right. And if that is, if you really want to move forward, right. Sometimes it can be you're feeling comfortable in where you're at. And sometimes there's nothing wrong with that. Like, I don't have a problem with that. But if you are feeling comfortable where you're at, but you want to leave and you have this little nagging itch that kind of comes into your mind all the time. And it's like, oh, I really don't like this. I'm bored. I don't like what I'm doing. Like, I really want it. Like you're dreaming of the days when you could do something that actually is meaningful to you and stimulating and exciting. And you want that. but you're just like not taking the action, it could be because you're very comfortable where you are and you fear something on the other side. So one of my clients was like, I fear I'm going to let my family down financially because I did this before. I took a leap of faith before and it didn't work out. Right. And then it's like, well, the choices are just never take a leap of faith again and just stay there where you are for the rest of your life or for until something happens out of your control. Right. And that's an option. You can totally do that. It's an option. But you can also do the work to clear that belief of like, I'm going to let my family Right? It's like, okay, well, how is that not true? How have I never let my family down before? If I did, like, my definition of let my family down, how— what would I do? How would that proceed? What would I be after that happened? Because we're such resourceful, such powerful humans that we are not going to let those things happen, right? I've like— it's incredible. Like, especially if you get into— put into a position where you're like, okay, I have to figure this out, you will all of a sudden start figuring it out, right? Like, so sometimes comfort is good, and sometimes you want to be aware of it because it can keep you stuck. for a long time, right? So sometimes it's like, if you're discontented, it could be the best thing ever. And you could be like, okay, I'm ready to change this shit. I'm ready to shift. So that's how you kind of do it. So the next thing, increasing your momentum where you're at. So when someone tells me that they are discouraged, they're exhausted, they are mentally done with the job search, there's a few things that I can see right away from coaching the people in my group and stuff that I can see can instantly kind of turn it around for them. One of those things is actually seeing how far you've come, right? And a lot of people will not look at their wins, and it's because they don't know how to. They don't know that they are wins, right? Like, you are farther ahead than someone else. That's just a fact, right? So someone else who hasn't even tried anything, isn't even— hasn't decided anything, like, you're gonna be— you're farther ahead already than somebody else With your same goal, right? But you're not seeing that because you're like, well, I haven't gotten to the ultimate goal yet, right? So seeing those as steps, as being like, okay, I'm up the staircase, I'm like halfway up the staircase, these are all the steps I've already taken, these are the steps that are behind me, then that's great, right? It's like if you've been on a bunch of interviews and you've been rejected a bunch of times, and now you found me, for example, as your coach, or you've had a breakthrough, or you've been like, ah, I can see why that happened now, you are way farther ahead, right? If you have finally reached out to that person that you were nervous to reach out to and you've got a call set up, or even if you just reached out and they didn't respond, you are farther ahead than you were. And so it's like we're not seeing those things. Like we're not seeing how much farther ahead we are, right? We're always seeing like how much more you have to climb. And when you look at it that way, you're going to be discouraged. You're going to be tired. Like looking up is going to make you feel tired. If you look down and say, oh, look at how far I've come, look at how many steps I've already taken, look at all the experience I already have, then you're going to be able to unearth more brilliance from that, and you're going to be able to harvest more lessons and more things and more next steps and more knowledge from that experience. So that's one way to build momentum, like, is to get good at looking at your wins. And I can't tell you how many times people, like, on my calls, I'll be like, okay, well, you did that, that's a win. You did that, that's a win. You did that, that's a win. And they're like, oh, I wasn't seeing that as a win. I totally didn't register that that was something that was a win. And then they all of a sudden just feel this sense of relief and they are more motivated to move forward. Okay, and then the confident expectation— like, if you're not in a confident expectation of it happening, then there's a reason for that. You can move yourself into confident expectation, and it's just a practice. You got to do everything that you can to move yourself into the belief of it, the confident expectation of it, and from there you're going to have more inspired ideas. You're going to have more things that you can do that you want to do, and sometimes you're not even going to be able to help but do them because you'll— it'll be easy, right? Like, you can have this idea that it's easy to take action towards your goals, that the next steps can become easy, they can become obvious, it can become super easy to take the action towards your goals, right? You can be led, you can be guided, and you are being guided and you are being led. Is— are you listening, right? So sometimes I would— my friend and I were joking the other day, she's like, my favorite form of self-sabotage is I create something and then I never promote it. And she's like, what's your favorite form of self-sabotage? And it was, I get an idea and then I don't act on it, right? Or I get an idea and then I talk myself out of it, right? And I know that a lot of people have that in common, right? Like, say you're like, you got this idea, you're like, oh, I should reach out to this person. And then you think, oh, but I don't want them to judge me for being unemployed, so maybe I just won't. I don't— like, it's better if they don't know, right? And who knows, that person could have opened up a door. The 6 degrees of separation could have sprung into action and they could have introduced you to someone else. And you just don't know what could have happened from that if you don't do that take action on that idea that you have, right? So I have one client and she is really putting herself out there, doing some speaking at some conferences and, and like stepping into that leadership that she wants to step into, right? And she's wanting to get a job where she's leading a team, and she's taking these steps that are like big steps, right? And so that's what courageous action is. It's taking a step that is not something you've done before necessarily, or not done it in that way, something different, something new, something that is a little scary for you. You want it to be scary for you because that means you're growing. Okay. And in this day and age, we have to, right? Because most people won't. So it's like, it's actually not that difficult, right? It can be easy for you to be the person who's taking the steps. So yeah, the increasing momentum, the way that you do that is by learning to get super good and granular at looking at your wins and looking at what you have already done and how good you have and how that is learning how it's, it's like kindling for the fire you're building because your fire is going to get huge. Like you have to look at it It's your responsibility to make your wins look amazing, right? So I had one of my mentors one time, she told me— I was like, oh, I only had like, I don't know, 20 people sign up for my thing. And she's like, what do you mean only? Like, if you had those 20 people over to your house, how would that be? And— or she's like, and if you had 20— like, she made it just seem like— she's like, if there were 20 trees— like, it just made it seem like 20 was a really big number, right? When I was making it seem like a small number. And it's like, oh yeah, if I had 20 people. in my house, like, that would be kind of a lot, right? Yeah. So it's like, it's our job to make our wins look as extraordinary as they possibly can because that will motivate you. And it's like a cliché piece of advice, like, oh yeah, look at your wins, look at your wins. But it's like people don't realize how much they're not doing that. They're not living by it, right? So it's like, like, I've been living by it and it's, it's just gotten me into the momentum. Just every day I'm like, oh yeah, I'm so much farther along than I was before. So That's one thing that we really drill down on inside my programs and my group coaching. So that's how you— one way to increase momentum is looking at your wins. The other way is by doing crazy actions. So I— one of my mentors calls it batshit crazy action. That doesn't resonate with everyone. Another one of my mentors calls it courageous action, right? So it's like, you can pick whatever you want to call it, but the definition of it is doing something you haven't done before or doing it in a different way than you've ever done it before. It scares you a little bit and it's out of your comfort zone. It's something new. It's something different. Right? So it's not going to be applying for 100 more jobs or 1,000 more jobs online and not talking to anybody. That is not courageous action. That is very low-stakes action. And then when you expect something from that low-stakes action and then you don't get it, you get disappointed. And then you're like, oh, it's not working. It's like, no, it's not that it's not working. You are not working. And that's not— sometimes you don't know what you don't know, but that's what I'm here to tell you. So it is totally possible because you're going to remove— when you remove the limiting beliefs as to like, Why? So this is a common one. People are like, well, I don't want to reach out to people. I don't know what to say. I don't know who to reach out to. I don't know who to talk to. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to respond to this message. I don't know, like very much in the overthinking, right? And overthinking is another way of self-sabotage. So if you overthink something, you can stay in the I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. And then you never have to actually do the thing. And you never have to find out whether or not it worked or it didn't work, right? And whether it works or it doesn't work is great. It doesn't matter. It just means you're moving through the world and you're making things happen, right? And if something doesn't happen, it doesn't matter. Because now you at least know the answer from that. So you're going to move through to the next action, right? So those are 2 really good ways to build momentum. And I have like 10 more in my program. Clearing what's in the way, clearing the stuck, forced, rushed energy and allowing in the new. So this is something that I see a lot of people doing too. And I used to do it too. It's forcing things like being like, I have to sit down and I have to apply to this many jobs today. I have to reach out to this many people today. I have to do this. I have to do that. And it's like a chore and it's a slog and it's not fun. Right. And so when you are going about it that way, it's going to be a lot harder to do it. Okay. You're going to have a very difficult time getting yourself to consistently do that. And if you do consistently do it, you're probably going to have low-level results from it. I've got a couple of questions here. How do you help us job seekers decipher if a job is worth your time applying for? Great question. Sometimes you can tell that it doesn't align with your values, but then when job matches are hard to find, can we afford not to apply? Okay. So that's your limiting belief is job matches are hard to find. Right? So you think that's a fact. That's what you've seen. That's what you are witnessing evidence of. But what if job matches were not hard to find? What if they were around you and you couldn't see them yet because you thought that they were hard to find? Right? But I will answer the question of how do you decipher if it's worth your time? So this is where you can trust your gut, right? It's like asking yourself a question like, do you want to apply for that? Does it feel exciting to apply for that? Do you like— what is it about it that you like? If you were to get that job, how would you feel? How would it feel being in the energy of having that job and doing and figuring out those things on the description. What would that be like for you? And get into that feeling. Does it work for you? Do you like it? It's very much a personal choice, right? Do I want to go through this process? If they have like a really long, arduous process, do I want to go through it? If you don't want to, then like you don't have to do that. You can be like, what other way could I get through to this? Like, like get yourself thinking super creatively so that you can do it in a more easy, more fun way. Maybe it's like, oh, maybe it's not that job, but maybe it's this company. Maybe there's something that really that I like about this company. And maybe there's other opportunities available if I speak to some other people, right? Maybe, like, opportunities are unlimited. There's always more coming up every day. Like, we want to shatter that when job matches are hard to find. Okay, that is a thought. It's not an ultimate truth. Nobody said— there's no chalkboard in the sky that says job matches are hard to find for Ramona. That's not a thing, right? So when I was applying and I had my 3 offers come in and I had this stuff happen and I had this— I wanted to get a job at a tech company. I wanted to be downtown and I wanted to be exactly like the same pay I had before, which I was told was impossible, right? And this— the job I got was not posted. It wasn't something that like they had given up hiring for it, right? And then I reached out to somebody who I knew who I had helped onboard at my last company and she happened to say, oh yeah, my husband's company is hiring for that, I think. Let me check with him because I don't know what happened. She's like, Like they kind of just gave up on the hiring process. So she's like, let me see if they're accepting applicants, like send me your resume, right? And so that came together really well. It was like 2 interviews and a phone call with one of the executives and I was hired. It wasn't a lot of hoops I had to jump through. It wasn't hard. And it's because I believed it could happen easily, right? You say, yes, I need to start doing more research on the companies. Yeah. Like what sounds fun for you? Get into the energy of and the momentum of, oh, this can be fun. This can be easier than I thought. This doesn't have to be such a long, arduous process. There are opportunities everywhere. There are opportunities opening up every single day. Things are happening behind the scenes that I'm not able to see yet because I'm not open for it yet. I'm going— I'm opening myself up for all these opportunities that are already there. It's like I said in the beginning, you're clearing that cloud of smoke, right? You're willing to see through the cloud of smoke and you're willing to just keep walking through it until you can see the other side, right? And that's going to take some repetition on your part. It's going to take some courage on your part. It's going to take you doing some stuff you haven't done. And it's going to take you believing some things you've never believed before. Okay, so and if you can't get to that point, you can say it's possible that this could be easier than I think. It's possible there could be more opportunities than I'm aware of right now. It's possible that there could be at least one more opportunity that I haven't seen. It's possible that there could be one opportunity opening up right now for me that I would be perfect for. It's possible. It's possible. It's possible, right? And then you start to open up that possibility, and that's what's called the bridge thought. Another question: At what point of career should we accept whatever we have? Achieved and do not try anything new? For example, a switch to how to know something we are really good at. So we do think we are good at and not to waste time and whatnot. Thank you. Okay, so first question, at what point in my career should I accept whatever we have achieved and not try to do anything more? So I don't believe that there's any point where we need to do that. I'm like, I think that's BS. Like, why would we just accept it? You can, but like, what would be the upside in that, right? So So my personal belief is we're humans, we're here to evolve, we're here to do big things. And if you have a desire to go do that thing, if you have a desire to make that switch, then you should totally go after it. That is your guidance. That is your desire is your guidance. You are supposed to go after it because it's like your map, your compass. It's like you're being told, like, you have this desire, like, awesome, great. That desire is valuable and you should go do it. Right. And then if the only reason people wouldn't do it is if it's like it's too hard and they believe they can't. Or do you have a valid reason for changing your mind? Right. And if you, if you have a valid reason for changing your mind and you're like, I discovered a little bit more about the career and it turns out I don't actually want to do it or I don't like it, then totally fine. Right. But if it's because I don't believe I can do it, it's too hard and you haven't worked through the limiting beliefs, that's your challenge is to work through the limiting beliefs and create it for yourself. So like, hopefully that's clear. I don't believe you should ever stop trying. I don't believe you fail unless you give up on purpose. And sometimes there's totally valid reasons for giving up, but sometimes there's not. Okay. Yeah. So if it— don't give up because you don't believe in yourself or because it got too hard or because someone told you you couldn't, or like, those are all really bad reasons for giving up, right? A good reason for giving up would be like, I just— I looked more into it and I decided I don't want to do it, and I don't— and I'm consciously making the decision to quit, and I'm okay with that, right? Totally fine. Your second question is, how do we know something we're really good at? Well, first I would say, do you enjoy it? And then, because we all start out at something You might say, oh, I want to play golf, and you might not be very good at it in the beginning, but it's worth the practice and the struggle to get good at it because you want it so bad and you really enjoy it. So, but also I would say like, you probably know what you're good at and what you're not good at. And it's, it comes back to that desire. Do I want to get really good at this thing? Do I enjoy it? Am I enjoying the learning of it? Is it worth it for me? Like, is it worth it putting in all the effort to get the result? Or am I just like, nah, I'm not bothered with it, right? Like, for example, With a coaching business, like the kind of business I have, people are told, oh yeah, just get into coaching. It's really easy. There's low barrier to entry. You can make a ton of money really fast, blah, blah, blah. And then a lot of people believe that it's so, so, so easy, but they're not willing to actually put in the work and the time and the effort marketing to their people, helping their people ahead of time, and putting in the reps and putting in the, you know, all the work that it takes to actually help people. They're not actually willing to do that. So they end up up quitting, right? But the people who really, really want it will continue to do it, and they will start to enjoy the process even when it's very hard. So it's really— the question is, do I want it, and am I willing to work it until it works? And then you said, so we do think we're good at and not waste our time with what we're not. So yeah, again, it comes down to the desire. Do you want to be good at it? If you do, are you willing to do the work? If yes, Go for it. Okay, it's like that could be your challenge that you give yourself that you want to do, and you can like yes, all challenges are going to have hard moments, right? And it's like, are you willing to do that? So hopefully that answers your question, Christina. She says a high-paying job at what cost to you and others personally? Creatively can be used for good intentions that uplift others and increase the prosperity or others less fortunate. Yeah, so I think you're saying you have a belief that. A high-paying job comes with a cost to you and others. But a high-paying job can't— like you said, I think you kind of answered this— it's like, it can be like, when you're more resourced, when you're happier, you're going to create good in the world. Like, you need to be well-resourced so that you can then be generous and be happy and be free. Like, there's nothing wrong with that, right? Like, like, you should have that. We should all have that, right? It's all the limiting beliefs that get in the way of it. So I would say There's no bad consequence. There's no bad cost for me having a high-paying job that I enjoy, right? That's the good that I am entitled to. I, that is a birthright. If I want that, I can have that. And I'm only going to do good with that. Right. So that's what I would say about that. Christina also says perhaps redefine success to be something far more wholesome than a bank account. You don't switch to a human experience, you live it. Yes. And, and like, the thing is though, like you're implying that A bank account is not wholesome, but it's like, yes, a big bank account is wholesome as well. Like, and why can't that be wholesome? Because it feeds your kids, right? Or it gives you great experiences, or you get to donate money to causes you love. Like, a big bank account can be wholesome, right? So it's redefining it as all of it together, if that's what you want, right? Because I think a lot of us have a lot of shame around earning a lot of money. Like, I've had clients who say things like, like, oh, but like, I don't think I even deserve to make that much. What if I can't deliver? What if I can't do this? What if I can't do that? It's like, well, you were a match for that money, for that paycheck, and you're gonna put in all you can, and you're gonna— like, you deserve that. Like, that is part of what you created, and you deserve that. Otherwise you wouldn't have gotten it. And you can do good with all of that, right? So I would say yes. You don't sound like someone who should be handing out advice to others. A resounding immaturity appears to be coming from you. Oh, interesting. Okay. Not everyone wants to play golf. No, it's just an example. No, golfing is just an example. Yeah, so if anything I say doesn't resonate with you, then like, just like, it's fine. You can totally go and listen to someone else. Thank you, thank you for those of you who are commenting. Okay, cool. Clearing the painful past and opening up space for some— for new things coming in. Okay, so I'm gonna continue with my points here unless there's other questions. But yeah, if something I say doesn't resonate with you, then— or if I'm not resonating with you, then feel free to go spend your time doing something else because it's not going to be useful for you or me if I'm not resonating or something I'm saying is not making sense or you don't like it, right? Like, that's why I say to my clients all the time, I'm like, if you don't resonate with what I say, if what I say doesn't make sense to you, it doesn't feel good with you, it doesn't sit right with you, then like don't listen to it, right? Throw it out and either listen, wait for me to say the next thing, or go and listen to someone who's more aligned with you, okay? It makes absolutely no sense for people to come onto my live stream and start criticizing me or telling me that I shouldn't be doing what I'm doing. Okay. So I've been doing this for 10 years. I know I've helped a lot of people. I know I'm not for everybody. That is the whole point. Right. And so this is actually a really good lesson because people are not always going to like you. Right. When you go into an interview and maybe you'll have somebody who, you know, is kind of short with you or they just didn't really give you a chance from the beginning and they're just kind of asking you some questions like you get to actually say to yourself, okay, I don't think this is a match. And I don't need to continue with this. Like, this isn't feeling good for me. I don't think this is right. Like, I've had so many clients that go into a situation and they don't— like, it doesn't feel good to them. Maybe they're not even being respected. Like, I had one client who went in and she said that the people were on their phone and they weren't paying attention to her. And so she was answering the questions and they were just like kind of looking on their phone, right? And so I said to her, I'm like, there's no reason for you to be treated like that. Like, you can totally, within your rights, I'm actually going to be— I think we should reschedule this for a time when you have time and attention. And I think that we should do this at a time when you have the time to actually give this your full attention because this is important to me and I would rather not interrupt whatever you're doing on your phones. Right. And so they both perked up and they were like, okay, we're sorry. We are going to pay attention. Right. So it's like you don't have to be in a situation that isn't like you can remove yourself from those situations. And I would advise that you do. All right, let's continue with the points I had. So clearing the painful past and opening up space for something new. So a lot of us have a lot of fear and shame around the past. So a lot of us have fear and shame around the past about being laid off, for example, or being fired, or having something that happened to us that we made it mean something about us in that experience, right? So I had one client who was told something like she wasn't working hard enough or she wasn't doing something properly. And she's such a thorough person, she works so hard, and this was like so detrimental to her, right? She was like, oh my God. So she went and took a bunch of more courses, she did more, she did more, she did more, and then she ended up just getting laid off because of politics or whatever happened. And she had so much shame around this, right? And then when we coached on it, she was able to open up to, oh, that wasn't actually true, right? Like, I had worked hard. And it turns out she actually had gotten an amazing result for the company. Right. She had an amazing result for the company and she had done all the things. It was just this one person's opinion that they said to her and she just grabbed onto that because we will often hang on to the worst things people say or we'll hang on to the things that people say that are the negative, right? Even if we have, you know, 100 positive comments, 100 thank yous, right, we're going to hang on to the one thing that people say that is negative and then make it mean something about us and then make it mean that we have to hide and get smaller and not continue. Right. And that is an area of growth because we don't want to be affected to like a lot when people say those things to us because that's just going to create smallness for everybody, right? So yeah, I was actually on a live stream with one of my mentors and she had said she swears a lot. She says the word— she says the fuck word a lot. And somebody was like really upset about this. Like they were like, oh, you can't swear and blah blah blah. And so she's like, you know what, I think we're just going to remove this person from the live stream because they are not a good good fit. So I think that like it's probably best that they just go on their way and we continue with the live stream because I don't— like, I'm gonna be swearing. That's just what I'm gonna do. I'm not gonna change things, right? So, and, and then she's like, and that's just a perfect example because like women especially are socialized to be like, oh, okay, I'll stop swearing, sorry. Like, oh, okay, I'll stop giving advice, sorry. I'll get smaller, I'll do what you say because you have this opinion. It's like, no, it's like, you can have your opinion, totally fine. I'm not mad at but you probably shouldn't be here. Just go find something that works for you. No harm done. I love you. Bless you. Bye-bye. All right, so the clearing the pain from the past, and then any other questions that any of you had here? Yeah, so lots of pain from the past comes from, I think, our childhood and not feeling good enough. That's a big one. Also about earning money and not feeling like worthy of earning money, or thinking that money is bad, thinking that money is the root of all evil. Like, that will mess you up, right? If you, if you want to earn more money, like, because you want to do good in the world, you to use it for good, but then you think that you don't deserve it, or you think money is bad somehow, right? Or you think that like people who earn a lot of money is bad. And it's like, those are just not true. How many people that earn money are philanthropists and do really great things in the world? And why shouldn't you be one of those people? Or even if you don't want to, one of my mentors was like, yeah, she's like, I bought a new car and I'm not embarrassed about it. And I'm not like ashamed about it. I think that we should go get the things that we want to get. And if you can do it while helping people at the same time, then I think that's the joy. That's the joy of life. Everyone says they want to help people, but in what way do you want to help people and why? Because if there's a deeper meaning to it— so somebody said earlier, they were like, at what point should we accept whatever we have achieved and not try for anything new? And I think that that's like— the question is coming from like, there's a reason why I shouldn't. It's like, why? Is it because you feel like you don't deserve it, or because you feel like it's not like you can't do it, or like, what is it for you that you actually feel like that there's a way, a reason why you shouldn't? And like I said before, it's like if you actually make a conscious decision not to, that's totally fine. All right, well, I've gone through all the points, I've answered all your wonderful questions, and I think I will turn this into a podcast, YouTube, because it was great and it was wonderful to be here with y'all. And I'll drop the link to grabbing my free training in the comments So you can sign up for that, and I will follow up with any of you afterwards. If you have any questions, you can leave in the comments. Okay, thank you so much.
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