Two powerful lessons about difficult coworkers

Hello there. Today we're going to talk about one of the real problems that one of my readers is having. And she writes, There's this lady at work and she's horrible. I've been at work in this new job for about 8 months now and this woman, who will remain nameless, is not even my official boss, but she has been there forever. She knows everything and she treats me like an insect. Every chance she gets, she undermines me, makes me feel stupid, and she even criticized my shoes on casual Friday. I'm not sure what to do. I know her life would be way better if I quit, but I like everyone else at the job and I love the job itself. What should I do? Natasha. Wow, what a pickle. In this video, I'm gonna share my story of a super similar issue that I was having and how it turned out, and I'm gonna share 2 main lessons that I learned, and I think they're really gonna help, so stay tuned. Wow, do I know how you feel. I had a very similar thing happen to me, and I was just starting out in my career. I just landed my first job as a receptionist of a large, busy downtown law firm. I love the job. I love the owner of the firm and all the attorneys who work there, but this one woman seemed to enjoy making my life crazy. A lot happened in that job for me. And more happened after I left, and I'd like to share that story with you today because I think it's really going to help you and anyone else who's dealing with a crazy bitch. So this lady's name, well, we'll call her Heidi, and I really thought she was a bully. Similarly to your situation, Natasha, she had been there forever. She never made a mistake, maybe once a year if we were lucky, and she never ever had patience for me. When I was first starting out, I had a lot of questions, but she did not want to answer any of them. Once she told me to get coffee mugs for the office, or when I asked her some questions about what kind of mugs I should get, she just said, figure it out. So I picked out some mugs that I thought were nice. They were pretty simple, and she told me that they were the ugliest things she had ever seen. I was like, come on. So early on in my career, I was inexperienced, and I honestly didn't have the tools to deal with her anger towards me. The best I could do was go into her office and start telling her how I felt, and I ended up bawling my eyes out. She apologized, she was nice for a couple of days, but then she just proceeded to go back to exactly the way she was. I thought that was just who she was as a person. There was nothing that could be done. Either I had to learn to live with it or I had to leave. So what happened then? Well, after a while I did leave. I was headhunted by another firm. All the expenses were paid for me to come and work as a paralegal and train as a paralegal too. They were gonna fully fund my training while I worked. Wow, I was so stoked. I also knew that this meant I didn't suck as much as Heidi wanted me to think I did at my job. I was actually pretty good, even though at the time I felt like I couldn't do a single thing right. So this brings me to big lesson number 1: Don't put a lot of weight on one person's opinion of you or their behavior towards you. It doesn't define you or who you are. That is just one person. Everyone else probably thinks you're pretty awesome. So I went on to work for this other firm and proceeded in my career and my life, happy to have Heidi out of it and hope to never have to see her again. But what happened after that might surprise you. So 5 or so years later, My husband and I were making a real estate purchase and we needed a lawyer to draw up the paperwork for us. And the firm where Heidi worked was the only firm that I knew that did this type of work. So I didn't want to go back there because of Heidi. I also knew that the prices for these legal fees were pretty expensive and that the owner of this firm, the great guy that he was, would give me a big discount if I were to go there. So I knew what I had to do. I made the appointment to go in and see them. So before I went in, I thought to myself that I had a pretty good idea of what to expect from Heidi. I was thinking to myself, she would probably be super nice to my face, and as soon as I left, make some under-her-breath comment about what a silly decision it was to buy the house I was buying, or the location wasn't a good location, or how I'd come crawling back, or something mean. I really thought I had her pegged and I thought I knew exactly what she was gonna say. My husband actually said to me, maybe she's changed. You never know, right? And I said, nope, not a chance. So we went in and I was humbly proven wrong. I could not believe what I saw. She was clearly fighting a very large battle of her own. She had lost a lot of weight and she was already a slim person. She was small, she was frail, she was bald, and she was clearly missing her right breast. My heart sank and I just felt awful for everything I had ever said or thought about her in the past. She was fighting breast cancer and who knows for how long, and I felt terrible for just thinking all these things in my head about her. So what was the lesson here? I would say the biggest lesson from this was So eye-opening, and as everyone is fighting their own battle and the rest of the world really has no clue about their battle. But regardless of why, I couldn't help but think that there I was sitting there happy, healthy, grateful for my life, and just ashamed that I had not even stopped to think or stopped to consider for a second what was going on with her in her life. She could have been going through a lot more than I could have ever seen, and she was just doing her best. So this woman you speak of, Natasha, what is she going through? What is her life really like outside of work? What if you knew she was fighting cancer? Would that change the way that you felt about her? Would you still see her in the same light? I'm not saying that it excuses her behavior at all. I'm just wanting to open your eyes to things that you might not be aware of. And there you have it. I hope this helps. This was a big topic for me, and I hope that my story can shed some light on yours. Feel free to click the thumbs up if you like this video, or click the thumbs down if you didn't like this video. And now I'd love to hear from you. Have you ever worked with someone who is just plain mean or a pain in the butt? How did you deal? Your insight here could be super helpful for someone else, so please share in the comments below. If this story resonated with you, please join me over at NatalieFisher.ca and sign up for my exclusive list. You'll be the first to hear about new stuff coming up and weekly videos just like this one. Do you know one person who could benefit from the information I shared in this video? If so, pay it forward and share it with them now. And remember, the current way in which most of us approach our careers isn't perfect by any means, but I know you can outsmart it. I know you have what it takes, and I've got you covered. I'll see you next week, and I can't wait. Cut! Sorry if you heard noise in the background. That was my puppy. She was trying to get a toy and she couldn't get it off the bed. Okay, you can see my puppy if you want to. Carly, come here, come here. She was trying to grab her toy and she was just scurrying around on the floor, so if you heard some noises, excuse the noises. Come here. Okay, she's not coming. I need to grab her. Say hi to the camera. Say sorry for making noise. Shameless, shameless puppy. Hi.