Why am I not getting hired after interviews (Interview purgatory and how to get out of it)
In this career‑coaching video, Natalie Fisher explains why many job seekers find themselves stuck in “interview purgatory”—a cycle of repeated interviews without offers. She argues that the problem is rarely external; instead, it stems from unexamined expectations, a fixed‑mindset that equates failure with personal identity, and a lack of systematic evaluation after each interview. Fisher walks viewers through a series of mindset shifts (re‑framing expectations, treating each interview as a sales pitch, recognizing what is within one’s control) and practical actions (consistent self‑assessment, maintaining a robust interview pipeline, seeking coaching). She stresses that failure is a learning opportunity, not a verdict, and that massive, consistent action—even when feeling discouraged—creates momentum toward the desired job. The video concludes with a call to action to join her “Get a Better Job in 30 Days” program and links to her website for further support.
Chapters
In this video, we're going to talk about why you're not being hired after you go for an interview and something called interview purgatory. So if you're stuck in interview purgatory, it means you've been to a bunch of interviews and you haven't been successful. So stay tuned. A lot of my clients come to me because they have been to a lot of interviews. Okay, they've applied for hundreds of positions and potentially been on up to 30 interviews and still haven't gotten the job, and they can't figure out for the life of them what is going on. They're qualified, they're smart, they're intelligent, they have a good personality, they're easy to work with, but what is going on? So why aren't they able to seal the deal? When you get into this kind of state, you kind of start to feel like this is going to last forever. Right? And you start to feel a lot of negative emotion and you start to feel very frustrated. And so the first thing that I want to talk about is that when you're feeling that, you don't want to go on another interview because you just feel like failure is who you are and it's just compounding on top of more and more and more failure. The degree at which you think it's permanent is the degree of which you feel the anxiety and the fear. that it's going to last forever. So if you're in this position right now and you've been on a bunch of interviews and haven't passed them, there is a clear reason for it, and you need to do some— take some different actions than what you've been taking in order to figure out that reason and be able to move forward. And don't worry, I will explain. Second thing, you think something has gone wrong. You think that you should have had an offer by now. And you think that you shouldn't have had to go on that many interviews. You think it should be easier. You've seen maybe friends who have gotten jobs sooner, right? Friends who maybe aren't as smart as you or less qualified. And you're thinking, why haven't I? And you're thinking that it should have been— it should be different at this point. But I want to introduce the fact that maybe nothing has gone wrong. In fact, I know that nothing has gone wrong. Because you, every time you fail at something, you either get the lesson you needed or the result that you wanted. And the lesson that you needed, you haven't learned it yet. And so you can keep going and doing the same thing over and over without really assessing, and you can continue to need to learn that lesson. And that has not changed. Point number 3, what were your expectations? So did you expect to go on one interview and get the job, or did you expect to go on 5 interviews and get the job? Did you expect to go on 10? What was your expectation before you started this search? And then you need to adjust it because obviously your expectation was too low. It's like when you're running a race, or if you've done some sort of exercise class or anything where they say, okay, we're gonna be done in 5 minutes or 5 seconds, right? And then they say, I lied, it's actually gonna be 10 more seconds or 30 more seconds, or you're running a race and you think it's going to be 5 miles and then it turns out it's over 5 miles, turns out it's 10 miles, just as an example, right? Are you gonna quit at that point or are you gonna keep running? Are you gonna adjust your mindset to be like, okay, like the quicker you can adjust your mindset to be like, okay, it's gonna be more than I thought, then the quicker you're gonna understand that you either have a choice to keep going or quit or stop. And Stopping, taking a break, or quitting only slows you down. So the quicker you can adjust to that, the quicker you can move forward in a positive direction, right? And be like, okay, I guess it wasn't this one. It's gonna be like, I have to keep going, right? And then ask yourself, how many are you willing to do before you quit, right? And at any point you can quit. Nobody's making you, right? You can go just get anything, like just go work for anything. Like you can, you don't have to do it. Right? And my clients, they are very smart and successful. They know they're capable of it. They have potential. So obviously they, they're not going to quit because that would mean that they're wasting all their education, all their past experience, all their, you know, capability that they have to make a big impact. So obviously they're not going to quit, right? So maybe that's you. Do you want to adjust your expectations and be like, okay, how much am I willing to do? And because it hasn't worked yet, I guess it's just gonna take me a bit longer. This is part of my growth. Nothing has gone wrong. So yeah, where did you put the finish line? Right? So if you put the finish line at 5 miles and it was at 7 miles, are you willing to keep running to those 7 miles? And then when you get to those 7 miles, if the finish line's actually at 10 miles, are you willing to keep running? Right? Are you willing— what are you willing to do? You might have to slow down and take a breath. But you know that you're in it and you're gonna reach the end. That's where you have to adjust your mindset and ask yourself, how much am I willing to do? And it takes what it takes, right? That's how life is. All these goals, all these big challenges, it's just gonna take what it's gonna take. And it's inevitable that you'll get there as long as you keep running. So a few questions to ask yourself: What were your expectations? How many times are you willing to fail to get there? What are you willing to do to get there? What is the upside of quitting? What do you have to lose? How many more times are you willing to fail? And of course, if you're going to get it, the answer is as many times as it takes. So as an example, for me, when I first started my business, I didn't really have any expectations. If I look back now, I'll, I will say I expected it to work a lot faster than it did. So maybe in the first year I expected to make $100K. I don't remember. I was just kind of going with it, but I expected a lot faster, a lot sooner, because I remember getting a lot frustrated. When I look back at that now and I see that it actually took me 3 years to get to the point where I wanted to get to, but now where I'm at was completely worth it, I can see that my expectations were not adjusted properly. And also there's things you can do to speed up the process. So for example, for me, as soon as I hired a coach and I found the one-on-one coach for me that was able to help me, I met my goal in that year. I superseded it, and the reason for that was because I found the guidance to help me and the speed that I needed in order to meet that goal. So it did take me three years though. Took me three years to find that person and to understand what I needed to do, and to really wrap my brain around what it took to get a successful business going. But it was possible because I stayed in it. So if I had quit after the first year, I would have never made it to this point. How long is it going to take you, and how much are you willing to do? What are you willing to invest to make that happen for yourself faster? So that was the answer for me. Whatever the answer is for you, you need to keep looking for it, and that's what winners do. Winners always look for answers. So if they, if they try something, it doesn't work, they will look for another answer, look for another answer until they find the one that works for them. So if you have been trying and trying and trying, there is a clear reason why you're not getting the result, and there is somebody who can help you with that and help you understand why you haven't gotten it, help you adjust and move in a new direction. Because most of the time what people are doing is they're doing the same things over and over without realizing it. They have the same mindset every time they go in, and sometimes it compounds and it gets You know, when, like I was saying before, you think failure is who you are, you're not going to find the solutions from that place because you're just thinking it's not going to work, it's not going to work, because you've trained your brain to believe it's not going to work. But there is no upside to thinking that, and there's really no point in going on those interviews if you don't believe it's going to work and if you're not evaluating. Evaluate and assess Every failure very carefully and very methodically. Every time you go on an interview, you need to evaluate what it is you're doing. You need to find that reason why it didn't work. Now, yes, sometimes it has nothing to do with you, and most of the time it does. So most of the time there's a very clear reason, and the reason was you were not able to make them an offer they couldn't say no to. You don't have that skill yet, and that's okay. You can build that skill. You can learn how to do it, but it's based in your ability to sell yourself and your ability to sell yourself to yourself first so you believe in yourself. And you can't do that when you're coming from a place of, it's not gonna work, I've failed already, and you believe failure is who you are on a conscious or unconscious level. Next point. You need to take action in purgatory. So this concept of interview purgatory, you're going on interviews, it's not working, you're kind of stuck in interview purgatory. This is the place where people either quit or they take a break, they tell themselves they'll come back to it, and then maybe they do come back to it, and then maybe they get more interviews The break is not what's gonna do anything for you. The break is just gonna slow you down dramatically. What's gonna need to change is your thinking and your intentionality around evaluating everything that is happening when you go. You need to train yourself to take action even when you feel bad, even when you don't want to keep going. And if you can do that, if you can take action through those times when you feel bad, evaluate very intentionally, and go back and do it, that is going to get you results faster. And that's something that a coach can help you do and help you see from the outside where you can't see it yourself. Evaluating and taking action anyway, even when you feel bad, is something that you can learn to do. And once you start doing that, that is the currency to your goal. It's the, the steps you need to take towards this goal and any other goal that you want. I had a client one time and he mastered this. He was going on interviews, evaluating very consistently and very thoroughly, and he didn't even have a feeling of disappointment after he was done anymore. He would be like, you know what, I didn't get it, but I don't— it doesn't matter to me. I'm fueled by the learning and I'm ready to go to the next one. And he questioned himself thinking, this is weird. Why don't I feel badly about this? And I was explaining to him that, you know what, feeling badly didn't serve him at all. There was no upside to that. So he was in a space where he was just ready to keep going until he got it. He got in the zone. He got the dream offer. So when you get in the zone, when you understand this is the process, when you're just going through and evaluating and taking the steps you need and using the failure as fuel instead of letting it discourage you, you are golden. Success is going to be inevitable for you. You always have control over something. So the biggest thought that will hold people back is, I have no control over this. I can't, I can't control whether somebody says yes to me or not. It's not up to me. The process is not within my control. That is a detrimental thought. There are so many things that are within your control, and I bet you you're not doing them if you're watching this video. So the first thing, the interview is not just an interview. It's a sales pitch. You have the opportunity to make them an offer they cannot refuse. You also want to find out if you're the right fit by asking great questions and seeming really interested. But you don't need to be at the mercy of whether or not one person says yes to you because you have control over how many interviews you get, which means you can have 5 on the go. You could have 10 going on, right? You could have several a week. And that is something you can control by how many people you reach out to and how many jobs you apply for and how many people you speak to. So there's so many things you can control. You want to perfect your process, always having things in the pipeline, always having things going, and always having your sales pitch and getting it sharper and sharper and sharper every time you go, right? And the better you get at it, the more you present it, the more certainty you feel in your body that you're the right person for the role and that you're totally capable of doing it, and you're totally capable of taking that off their hands and making it a huge success. Then the better you're going to be at it, and your success again will be inevitable, right? But you need to focus on what you can control, and you have to get rid of that mindset of it's not up to me, I can't really do anything about it, it's up to them whether they say yes or no. Always up to you whether or not you get your end result or not. That is completely on you, my friend. And so when you step up and take that responsibility for it, You're able to take the action from the place you need to in order to get it. And when you learn to take action, massive consistent action, even when you're feeling bad, you will be able to achieve any goal you want. Our brain wants to protect us when we get rejected. It wants us to retreat and go hide in the cave, take a break, stop taking the action. This is what we'll want to do, and this is what most of you do. Taking consistent, massive action regularly is hard, and it's definitely harder in the beginning if you're not used to doing it. And that's why having a coach, having skin in the game, having a commitment on the line is, is a container that you can put yourself in that will make it so that your success is inevitable. So that is the formula for getting the job you want. And for getting out of interview purgatory. So if you are in that space right now, there is a way out and it is through, and I can help you with that. If you like this video, please click the link below and check out the Get a Better Job in 30 Days training where I'll teach you everything you need to know to create your own opportunity so you'll never have to wonder where your next interview is going to come from. And I'll explain to you how to nail the interview and give you some strategies for negotiating your salary when you get to that point. So if you are interested in learning more from me, you can click the link below. You can also go to my website at www.nataliefisher.ca. I'd be happy to see you over there. If you like this video, give me a thumbs up. If you've hated this video, give me a thumbs down. Leave me a comment. I love talking to my subscribers. I will respond personally. I love what I do. I would be honored to help you, so reach out to me and I can help you get out of interview purgatory if it's something that you want help with. All right, thank you so much, my friends. I will see you next week with another video.
More from Natalie
How To Sound Good Without Having All the Answers (In Meetings & Job Interviews)
