MBA1355 Q&A Wednesday: How do I learn to say no?

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Hey O welcome to the Hunter RMBA show the business answers you're looking for every day with our daily 10 minute business lessons for the real world. I'm your host, your coach, your teacher Omar Zenholm. I'm also the co founder of the $100 MBA, a complete business training and community online and today's episode is a Q and A Wednesday episode where we answer a question from one of you, one of our listeners. If you have a question you want to ask, just email me over at Omar100, MBA NET today's question is from Raj and Raj says, I constantly feel overwhelmed and I'm not getting enough things done because I don't know how to say no to others. I know this is wrong and a poor way to manage what's on my plate, but how do I get out of the habit of saying yes? Great question. Raj and I have some really good advice for you today and some really good resources you should check out. This is a very common challenge for people, especially those who are getting started in business or in their professional life because for a very long time you are excited for opportunity and when you have opportunities in front of you, people are asking you to do things, take on work, take on tasks. You're just not in the habit of saying no. You just want to say yes because, hey, they're great opportunities. But here's the reality. You only have 24 hours in the day. You only have 365 days in the year. And whether you know it or not, every time you're saying yes to something, you're saying no. If I say yes to having lunch with somebody tomorrow, I am saying no to having lunch on my own or doing something else during that time. That time is taken. So in today's lesson, we're going to talk about how to prioritize, how to essentialize, and we'll talk about Greg McKeown's work in a moment. So we learn to say no when we need to. Let's get into it. Let's get down to business. A little over four years ago, I read a book that totally changed my mindset when it came to this topic. I was saying yes far too often to things. My schedule was getting packed with tasks and appointments and yes, opportunities. But they weren't the best opportunities or the best use of my time. That book is essentialism by Greg McKeown. I did a must read episode on that. You can check it out over@100nba.net show you could search for it right there on the page. But that book is a game changer. And it's all about how to essentialize the most important things in your life. The bottom line is, is that you can't do everything well. You can't expect to do a thousand things in different areas and get the maximum possible result in every single one of those things. It's actually better to do four or five things in your life very, very well, and they become your pr, the things you focus on that you make essential. Everything else is a no. So it's really down to what you prioritize as your goals in life, as your mission in life, your priorities. This applies to your business as well. If you have a singular goal, like having more revenue or bringing in new customers, that's the one goal you have for the whole year. Anything that doesn't directly impact that goal is a no. And this book walks you through how to get into that habit, how to convince yourself that this is what you have to do to really make progress. You really can't make progress when you're all over the place, when you're saying yes to every single thing. The problem is that when you get started, you say yes to everything because you think these opportunities will vanish and they'll actually increase as you get better in your field, as you improve, as you Grow your brand and your business. The opportunities get better and better and more frequent. I'll give you a good example. A few years back, I used to do a lot of public speaking. I used to get on stages at every conference. I was traveling several times a month speaking at conferences. I said yes to all these opportunities. Yes, it helped the business and helped my personal brand. But you have to think about your opportunity costs, the cost of doing something instead of something else. What could I have done if I skipped one of those conferences? Now, mind you, these conferences are a huge time suck. You know, they're three or four days plus you got the travel and it's really intensive. Sometimes you need a day to recover from how intensive it is. So looking at a good solid work week, what could have you done in your business? What kind of procedures or hires or sales or partnerships could you build with a full week of work? Is that more valuable than going to the conference or not? That's the decision you need to make before you say yes. I started to realize that and spent more time with my team, building my team, improving the product. And I've become very selective about the conferences I attend and speak at. It's very flattering to be asked to speak at a conference. There also could be a monetary benefit that'd be paying you for the actual trip and paying you for your time on stage. But again, what's the opportunity cost of that investment? This allows you to get your head around why a yes can be detrimental to your business. Now, the book Essentialism actually gives you scripts of on how to craft a message via email, in person, whatever it is, to say no, how to say no in a polite and respectful way. So I definitely recommend you pick up that book essentialism by Greg McKeown, an exercise that can really help you get on track and have the right mindset. To stop saying yes to everything is to look up your life expectancy. I know this sounds a little bit morbid, but this is really going to be helpful. It's not morbid at all, actually. Let's say, for example, your life expectancy for when you were born and where you live, as well as your gender, is 75. Let's just say, for example, it's 75 and you're currently 30, so you have 45 more years. I want you to break it down further. How many weeks do you have? How many days do you have? How many hours do you have? You can make a little spreadsheet if you want. Take a look at those numbers. And I want you to imagine these as units, as actual pieces of value, like in a bank account, you know, dollars in a bank account. This is what you have in your account now. Every hour, every day, every week, every year that passes by, that account balance gets lower and lower and lower. So you have a limited amount of time, you have a limited amount of years, weeks, days, hours. How do you want to spend that time? As if you would spend it like money. Just like if I gave you, you know, $5 million. What would you do with that money? Buy a house, buy a car? What's left over? What are you going to do with the rest? This exercise really has helped me. And what you start to realize is when you look at those numbers dwindling every day is, man, this is more valuable than money because I can always make more money. I can always, you know, invest that $5 million and make, you know, $10 million out of it. Can't invest time, right? I can't do that. It's a depreciating asset and I have to take advantage of, of that time as it goes by in the best way possible. How am I going to invest in that time? Am I going to say yes to things that really don't move the needle for me in my life, my satisfaction, the success of my business, the success in my personal life and health? And I want you to think of it as, you don't want to buy any lemons with your time. Don't say yes to things that are lemons, that just don't work, that don't work for you or are not the best use of your time. Seeing your time as currency is a great way for you to see it for what it is, a limited resource. And therefore you just can't say yes to everything all the time.

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In today's Q and A Wednesday, Raj asks, how do I learn to say no? Well, we talked about priorities. We talked about essentialism, the book. We talked about seeing your time as a depleting resource that you're not going to get back. But I got one more tip for you. Study masters. Read the biographies of people that you admire that are the best at what they do, whether they're an athlete, whether they're an artist, an entrepreneur, a historical figure. What you'll learn is they were a master at essentialism. They were a master at making sure they only use their time. That would serve them best, that would serve their craft. That would serve what they're working on. Kobe Bryant, the basketball legend known as the best Laker of all time, said no constantly so he can become the legend he became. His main focus was, I gotta be the best basketball player possible. That's what I gotta do. Whatever feeds that goal, I will say yes to everything that doesn't, I say no. So teammates would ask him to go party or hang out or play video games, and he would say no because, hey, I'm trying to be the best here and it doesn't serve my goal. It doesn't mean he didn't have fun. He had fun at what he did and he had fun in his personal life. But he prioritized what he wants to become a master at and said no to everything else. Another great book to pick up is Mastery by Robert Greene. Fantastic read on this topic, Raj. I hope that helps and I hope it helped everybody who's listening today. Thank you so much for the question. If you want to ask a question on Q and A Wednesday, submit it over@omar mba.net just send me an email. I'll be happy to answer your question right here on Q and A Wednesday. If you love the show, hit subscribe right now and get our next episode automatically to your device. The best way to say thank you or the biggest compliment you can give us is to share the show with your friends and family. Tell them about the $100 show and tell them what you love about it. Before I go, I want to leave you with this. Learning how to say no is a form of discipline, and discipline can be learned. It's not impossible. You just need to commit and want to pick up a new habit. Thank you so much for listening and I'll check you in tomorrow's episode. I'll see you then. Take.

Is it time to reimagine your future? The right business skills may make a difference in your career. At Capella University, we offer a relevant education that's designed to focus on what you need to know in the business world. We'll teach professional skills to help you pursue your goals, like business management, strategic planning, and effective communication. And you can apply these skills right away. A different future is closer than you think with Capella University. Learn more at Capella. Eduardo.