MBA1955 Q&A Wednesday: I’m terrified of public speaking. How can I get better?

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Hey oh welcome to the Hundred Dollar MBA Show. You don't have to build a business alone. We got your back every single day with our daily 10 minute business lessons for the real world. I'm your host, your coach, your teacher Omar Zenholm. I'm also the co founder of Webinar Ninja, an independent software company I started with my co founder back in 2014 and today's episode is Q and A on Q and A Wednesdays. I answer a question from one of our listeners. If you got a question you want to ask, just go ahead and email me over@omar100mba.net Today's question is from Roxy Hey Omar, Love the podcast. I listen to every single episode on the Way to Work as I'm building my business on the side. My question is how do I get over my fear of public speaking? I am terrified of speaking in public. I need to give presentations at work as well as pitch my business idea to investors and even throw my hat in the ring in speaking at conferences for my business. But I'm incredibly self conscious and a nervous wreck when I get on stage, how do I get better? This is a great question from Roxy because she understands the value of public speaking. Public communication is incredibly important to every entrepreneur because if you can communicate your ideas, whether it's to an investor or to your customers or even just to your team, you can lead, you can grow, you can sell. But a lack, lack of communication and a lack of confidence when you're speaking in public can stop you from growing. But don't worry, I got your back. Roxy and everybody else who's listening to this episode. I went through this journey about 20 years ago. I was incredibly terrified of speaking in public. I was a teacher. I was an English teacher for 13 years. I was a head of department, a teacher trainer. And I had to get over my nerves and get over myself really thinking about myself. When I got on stage. After my career in education and I transitioned to entrepreneurship, I had to learn how to give public speeches in a different way. And I had to get over some other fears. And I'll talk about how I did that and how I got better and how you can do it too. So let's get into it. Let's get down to business.

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I still remember the day I gave my first public speech. I was on stage at the school auditorium I worked at when I was an educator and I was giving a workshop to other teachers. I was doing some teacher trainer and I was running my first meeting as a manager. I just got promoted to head of department and I was 25 years old. I was incredibly self conscious because half the room was twice my age. You know, the people that I was leading had 20, 20 plus years of experience on me. And in that moment I realized I need some help. I need to figure this out. I did and I got better as a public speaker in the circle of work or in the circle of the office or in my job. When I transitioned into full time entrepreneurship about 10 years ago, I had to learn a whole different level of skills when it came to public speaking. I wanted to speak at conferences. I wanted to be able to get my message out there, whether it's on video or is in person, whether it's at a meetup or it was in front of 5,000 people at a national conference. And it was like I was reliving all my old memories again and I had to relearn a lot of things differently. So I want to save you all the heartache and pain I went through and just give you the shortcut and just tell you this is what you have to do. When I say shortcut, I say shortcut to the solution. Meaning this is what you have to do. You know what to do. Now you're going to have to do it. That's going to take some time. And here it is. There's a few things you need to understand when it comes to public speaking. The first thing is actually changing your mindset. This was a game changer for me and I learned a lot of this from some great performers and public speaking coaches. You're going to hear me speak about Michael and Amy Port a lot in today's episode because I've worked with them, I've taken their training, I've been coached by them, I've been coached by a lot of different public speaking coaches. I've taken a lot of classes, community colleges, online courses. And these two, Michael and Amy, really changed the game for me. They really changed the way I saw public speaking and helped me, I would say, exponentially more than any other training. So I'm going to give you some of the things I learned from them and what helped me change my approach to public speaking and get better quickly. And I'm going to show you how you can continue to learn how to become a better public speaker after today's lesson. So the first thing is mindset. Like I mentioned, one of the things a lot of people suffer from when it comes to public speaking is feeling self conscious, worrying about what people think of them. What do I look like? Do I look nervous? Am I sweating through my clothes? All that kind of stuff. And this is especially relevant to somebody who's new because you have a hard time making eye contact. You're just a little overwhelmed by the stage. And I remember that. I remember feeling a little bit nervous. As soon as I get on the stage, the view looks different, you start to feel a little nervous or a lot nervous. So one little mindset hack that really worked for me and it's just something that I keep in mind all the time whenever I speak in public is it's not about me. One of the best things you can do is when you get on stage, when you speak in public, when you're speaking on a webinar, whatever it is, focus on helping the audience. How can you help the people you're speaking to? Focus on just trying to give them what you got. Give them the gift of your knowledge. If you just focus on how can I make them better and not me and worry about me and worry about how I'm looking and how I'm being perceived. This is super powerful. And the human brain really can't focus on more than one thing at a time. So every time you find yourself going back, having self conscious thoughts, go back and remind yourself and say it's about them. How can I help Them, what can I say? What can I do? How can help I? And really the best thing you can do is deliver a great speech and a great performance to help them get better. Now, I use the word performance right then and there because that's the big differentiator between great public speakers. People that do this for a living, that do Ted talks and are getting paid 20, 30, 40, $50,000 a speech, they do not see it as a speech. They do not see this as talking in public. They perceive it as a performance. Just like a stand up comedian, just an actor, just like a musician. And there's a couple reasons why it's seen as a performance by professionals. Because in essence, you are putting on an experience for your audience. And the best way you can look at it is that if I can create an experience, I can create change. I can be able to help them get over the hump, to see things differently through my speech, through what I say today on the stage. And it's not just what I say on the stage, it's how I say it, how I deliver it that's going to really contribute. Have you ever seen a speech at a conference or even on video, like a TED Talk, and you're like, wow, that was a great speech. And you can't pinpoint why it's a great speech. It's like they didn't really talk about anything revolutionary. It wasn't like this idea you never heard of. It was probably a basic idea, but it was a good reminder. But the reason why it was a great speech is because it was a great performance. They delivered it in a way that you enjoyed. They delivered it in a way that you could absorb the information. They delivered in a way where 20 minutes felt like two minutes. And I know that some people, they feel kind of silly. Oh, I'm not putting on a performance. You are, okay? And the faster you just acknowledge that, the better you're going to become. Even if you are addressing a small group, a board meeting, a staff meeting, yes, you've got an agenda to go through, but you're going to deliver in a way that's professional. You don't have to do a song and dance that is cohesive, that's easy to understand, that is just enjoyable. And the third thing I learned, and this is a little bit of mindset, is that nobody wings it, okay? There's no such thing as a great speaker. Like this person is just a great speaker. And as soon as they open their mouth, they just know how to deliver things impromptu. And they're great. Even people that improvise have practiced improvisation, right? They've improvised so much that it's not improvisation anymore. They're not improvising anymore. Most of all, public speeches, talks, meetings that you see that look great, that the person is just in their element, they're in their zone, feeling comfortable. That didn't happen by accident, okay? It took preparation, it took practice. It took skills that they had to build over time. Every single great public speaker I've spoken to, and I've spoken to a lot of them because I go to a lot of conferences, I am obsessed with public speaking. I love this topic because I believe communication is a mother of all skills. Every time I've seen a great speaker on stage, I will pull them after the speech, right? I will have a cup of coffee with them. I will ask them, do you want to have a meal together? Why? I want to know why they're so good. What did they do to get there? And every single time, I'm talking about, without fail, there is years of work that got them to the point where they're on stage and I'm impressed. So how do you get started? Well, there's a few things I recommend you do that are going to go hand in hand to get better. Number one, it's super helpful to have the training to structure your speeches, your talks, your meetings, and give you some exercises that you can do to get better at public speaking. So basically some training, right? But the training is kind of useless if you don't apply the training. With public speaking, you need reps, right? You need a chance to apply what you've learned over and over and over. So you need to make sure that if you're going to take some training, which I'll recommend, that you also, along with the training, have some things lined up. Public speeches, meetings, talks that you can do. Even if it's just toastmasters, like an organization that's all about speeches, or you're giving a talk at a local meetup. You have to have something lined up. I would say at least one or two a month. Okay. This is what helped me get better very quickly, is that I made it a point to apply what I've learned. And the thing is that it's just not going to click the first time you're going to get. The first time you use. Use the stuff you learned on stage, it's gonna feel better. You're gonna feel like you've gotten better, but it's just not there yet. And then again, you're gonna try it Again, and it's gonna get a little bit more better. And then again, you're gonna try again, and it's gonna get a bit more better. You're gonna start honing in your style, honing in what's comfortable. You're gonna let go a few things and then add a few more things. You're gonna realize, oh, I'm doing this with my body. I should change that. My hands are not moving, whatever it is, Right? So you're gonna learn some skills, some training. You're gonna give yourself opportunities to apply these skills on a regular basis. So, for example, in 2015, I took some intensive public speaking courses and training, and then I made sure I was speaking in public at least twice a month. In fact, I spoke at 15 different conferences in 2015, plus smaller meetups and all that kind of stuff. But I was on stage in front of a room of at least 500 for at least 15 times that year. And yes, that was hard. It was a lot of travel, it was a lot of work. It was actually kind of tiring. Like, I felt tired at the end of the year because I was like, man, it's really exhausting getting on stage and, you know, working on your speeches and rehearsing and all that kind of stuff to make sure that you deliver. But, man, did that year make me move up a few levels in my public speaking skills. Okay, so you're going to skill up. I'm going to show you how to skill up. I'll give you a recommendation. You're going to use those skills, those trainings to. In your speeches that you've lined up for yourself in those opportunities to speak in public. Two more things you're going to. Number one, allow time to rehearse. This is something that took me a while to just get in the habit of. For some reason, we think, oh, I know my speech, I know my stuff. I'm gonna rock it. Right? You feel confident. But rehearsal, actually going through the whole speech at least five times as if you were on stage, meaning that you don't have your notes, you don't have your laptop. Imagine you're just giving a speec just as if you were at the actual conference, whatever that environment is. If you have your laptop in that environment, okay, fine. But the point is, is that you got to know how it's going to feel so you can perform. Yes, you know your stuff, but you know how to deliver it. That's really the point here. And by going through at least five times, that means if you have a 40 minute slot to give this speech. You're going to have to do this five times, 40 minutes apiece. The whole time you need to make sure your timing is right. You need to make sure you know what you're doing with your body, right? Like where are you walking around when you're talking, what are you doing? Are you just pacing or are you. What's called blocking? This is what's used in stage terminology. Like you know exactly where to go when you speak about each point in your speech, what to say, how to move. So rehearsal is very important and you gotta do it at game speed, meaning you gotta do it just like you are on stage. My fourth point is video, video, video. Okay? You need to record every single performance, every single time you speak on stage. Whether it's a small meetup, whether it's a meeting, whether it's a big confere, doesn't matter. Grab your iPhone, grab a tripod and hit record. You got to watch yourself. And as painful as that sounds like it's going to be, and it could be quite painful. I know it was for me in the beginning. It's incredibly helpful to see yourself to say, oh man, I never noticed that. I do this, I need to do this, I need to do that, I gotta stop doing that. These tips are incredibly helpful now. So how do you get started with the training? So I mentioned Michael and Amy Port. They are the founders of Heroic Public speaking. You can go to HeroicPublicSpeaking.com, check out their programs. They have some pretty professional programs and at my last look at their website, most of their programs are in person intensive programs like a two day intensive, which will get you better really quickly. Now if that's not an option for you, if you don't want to go to their headquarters, I believe it's in Pennsylvania or camp because of COVID or whatever it is. Here is my entry level recommendation. Michael and Amy Port have a Great training on creativelive.com it's called Heroic Public Speaking. I believe it's $49. Sometimes it goes on sale, but it's $49. It's incredibly inexpensive. This is probably the best value for your buck. Like this training alone is going to up your game incredibly high. Okay. You're gonna feel like you're a different person on stage just by going through this training and applying it. How do I know? Well, well, I took the training. I actually am there in the training, in the videos, in the audience. I actually get on stage two and I fumble about and this is I believe 2015 when I did this or 16 and this is actually the training that really got me to know Michael and Amy and realize I need to get going and start working on this a little bit more. That experience was kind of a wake up call for me and I took it seriously and started to apply their knowledge and their skills and their training to my own public speeches. So again, it's creativelive.com and just search heroic public speaking. Incredible, incredible video course. You will find so much value in there. How to structure your speeches, your workshops, how to craft your script, how to find your big idea that you want to convey in your speeches and a whole lot more. 23 really good modules that will give you a huge, huge improvement quickly.

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To wrap up today's lesson. Public speaking is something that we all can get better at. It's a skill, okay, just like learning how to play golf. Maybe you're not going to be Tiger woods, but you have the ability to be decent, right? And actually play a great game. In fact, with public speaking, I think that we all have the ability to be a somewhat Tiger woods in our own world. But it takes time, it takes practice, it takes repetition. So I would encourage Roxy, who sent today's question, as well as everybody who's listening that wants to improve their public speaking, to take the heroic public speaking course on CreativeLive right now. Like, don't waste time. Take this course. It's incredible. You can go through the whole course in a couple of days. Start applying it, start doing speeches, start getting yourself opportunities to practice what you've learned. Because the only regret I have when it comes to public speaking training is I didn't start earlier, okay? Because it does take some time to get better. It does take repetition and the earlier start, which is now, the faster you'll get better. Thanks so much for listening to the Hundred dollars MBA show. If you love what you hear, hit, subscribe or follow or whatever it says on your favorite podcast app. And again, remember, if you got a question you want to ask, just go ahead and email me over@omar mba.net and we'll answer it right here on Q and A Wednesday. Before I go, I want to leave you with this. One of the things people really struggle with when it comes to public speaking is making eye contact with the audience. I used to have this. I used to either look at my feet or look above the audience, like above their heads. I just felt more nervous when I looked at their faces. Like a sea of faces. So one great tip that I can give you that has really worked for me and continues to work for me is instead of trying to look at everybody at once, you can make eye contact with people on an individual basis. So you want to deliver one line or one point to one person. You're going to look at one person in the crowd. They could be in the middle of the crowd, they could be in the front row. And you just make eye contact with that one person. And then you choose another one person to look at to deliver the next line or the next point and on and on. And eventually you have connected with everybody in the audience to some degree. But when you're looking at one person, everybody can tell you're looking at somebody, which means you are making eye contact, which means you are connecting with the audience. And it's so much easier to just look at one person because we have one on one conversations all the time in our lives, than to try to look at a sea of people. It's a bit overwhelming and a bit scary. Give that a try and let me know what you think. Thanks so much for listening and I'll check you in tomorrow's episode. I'll see you then. Take care. Of.

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