MBA2023 Guest Teacher – Caroline Goyder – How To Instantly Be A More Confident Communicator

They put hot honey sauce on the snack wrap. McDonald's outdid themselves again. The classic snack wrap we all know and love paired with the sweet heat of hot honey sauce. Just what we needed to make it even more perfect. You know the drill. So go to McDonald's and try it today.

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They put hot honey sauce on the snack wrap. McDonald's outdid themselves again. The classic snack wrap we all know and love paired with the sweet heat of hot honey sauce. Just what we needed to make it even more perfect. You know the drill so go to McDonald's and try it today.

Do you find yourself filled with nerves when you have to get on stage to give a presentation? Or not super confident when you need to talk to a client one on one. Do you wish you were more confident? Do you wish you really believed and delivered it like you believed it? Do you want more presence and gravitas in your communication? Well, you're in luck because we have one of the top experts when it comes to this topic, Caroline Goiter. She's going to Walk you through real physical exercises you can do to feel confident and communicate more confidently instantly. If you're listening in your car, you can follow along. If you're at your computer, step away for a moment and take 10 minutes to feel more confident when you speak. It's probably going to be one of the best investments you made in yourself today. I'm going to pass it on to Caroline now to deliver her guest teacher lesson. But I'll be back to wrap up the lesson and give my takeaways. But for now, take it away, Caroline.

Hello, my name is Caroline Goyder. Thank you so much for joining me today to learn about my confidence boosting course. I am going to give you the five behaviors that will help you turbocharge your confidence and feel really grounded and in control and ready when you have those high stakes moments and you have to speak. I've tested this under the highest challenge when I did my TedX that's been watched 9 million times on speaking with confidence. I used all of this so I hope it helps you. Let's go to the lesson. Our first confidence booster is all about the body. I want you to be able to really pull yourself up to your full height and tower over your circumstances so you have confidence anywhere. And the reason we need this now is that we all spend so much time in text neck. We hunch our heads forward over our devices. I'm doing it now and you can hear that it closes my voice down and it makes me feel a bit stressed frankly. So I want you to let go of tex neck and I want you to really stand tall. And what we're going to do to find that we're going to work through the body. We're going to start like a tree with your roots. So I want you to just get your feet hip width apart. If you've got heels on, maybe take them off and just feel your feet on the floor. Right foot grounded down into the floor. Left foot grounded down into the floor. Feel your toes, feel your metatarsals, feel your arches, feel your heels and let the feet relax like you're standing in really lovely, warm, soft sand. And then imagine you've got roots and they're growing down into the floor. 10 meters, 20 meters, 30 meters, growing down all the way to the core of the earth. So your feet have this lovely warm, grounded quality. Now just make sure your knees are ever so slightly relaxed, not locked out like you're standing on a rocky train. And you need to center yourself and then find your tailbone. That sounds A funny thing to say, but I want you to imagine a dragon's tail. The reason this works is that when we're stressed, we're in our eyes because we're looking around for enemies, exits. Who do I punch? Where do I run away? And if you can get into the back of your body via your dragon's tail, you feel so much more confident. It really works. So just imagine, you know, you might even put a hand on your tailbone here, just to find your tailbone, if you're amongst friends. And then feel that that tailbone extends down like it's a big, bony, heavy tail. And it goes all the way around the room, and it grounds you down and it takes you into your back. So you've got your roots, you've got your dragon's tail. Now stack the spine. Make a really straight spine. Imagine that each vertebra of your spine is a stack of tuna cans or cans of baked beans. And make sure that they're lined up one by one on top of each other. And your head, your skull, balances on the top of that stack of cans. And just as your head balances on the top, feel energy rising out of the top. And at the same time, feel like your shoulders are really heavy, like you're wearing a wonderful cloak and your shoulders are dropping down to the floor, so feet are grounded, dragon's tail on spine, like a lovely straight stack of tuna cans. Head balancing on the top, shoulders heavy, like you're wearing a great cloak. That will set you up for confidence. So with that feeling of groundedness and that lovely straight spine, practice a few lines of your speech or your meeting. You will feel so different. If you're sitting, do everything but feel the dragon's tail going out of the back of the chair. And it will work just as well. So that's your body confidence booster. The second confidence booster is all about getting out of your head. Why does this matter? Well, it matters because our devices, you know, our phones, our screens, they make us a bit speedy. We spend time peering into them, responding, reacting, and then when we speak, we take that speedy energy. And it doesn't work because audiences need us to take time. So the simplest thing you can do is to get out of your head and take your attention into your body. And I don't just mean feel your skin. I mean actually really go inside the body and your attention. And what I really want us to think about is the diaphragm. I want you to feel what's happening inside your body when you breathe. Because when you get that it's an anchor to calm and to confidence. So just set yourself up and find a nice straight spine and feel your ears over your shoulders, your shoulders, nice and heavy. Then place a hand on your tummy. And if you place it just below where your bra strap is, or you might have to imagine a bra strap if you don't have one on, that place, just beneath the bra strap is where you can feel your diaphragm. So just place a hand there if you can. And then I want you to feel that when you breathe in, that place moves away from your spine. So just send the breath out for a moment and squeeze your tummy back to your spine. And then breathe in and feel that place move away from your spine. So what you're getting a sense of there is your diaphragm. Now, it's a bit like. The best way to imagine it is it's like a jellyfish. It cuts you in half. So if you can imagine a jellyfish cutting you in half, which I recognize is quite a mad image, and just feel that as you breathe in, that jellyfish moves down the body and it moves your tummy away, and it moves your ribs away from your spine. And then as you breathe out, the diaphragm moves up the body, and your ribs move back to the spine, Your tummy moves back to the spine. So just try that a few times. Hand on tummy, stand tall. Feel the breath come in. Diaphragm moves down, body gets wider. Feel the breath go out. Tummy moves back to the spine, diaphragm flows up. Do that three more times. Breath comes in, breath goes out. As you breathe in, the body widens. As you breathe out the tummy and the ribs move back to the spine, the diaphragm flows up the body. So one last time, let the breath come in. The body widens, and as you breathe out, the diaphragm moves up the body, the tummy moves back to the spine. Now, what you might be noticing is that as you do that, you feel calmer, you feel more anchored, more grounded. You'll also notice that your voice sounds more confident. So what I want to encourage you to do is every time you have to speak, just before you speak, remember that jellyfish breathing. Get the breath low and wide, and you will feel so much more confident. So the third confidence booster is all about finding conversational ease. Because the thing is, these days, the speakers we admire, they're not formal public speakers in inverted commas. They're not standing behind a lectern sounding like a politician. We admire now, speakers who are really conversational. They sound like they're having a chat with their oldest friends. And I think the reason that we admire this is because actually, it's quite hard to do. It's easy to have a chat with your old friends when you're sitting in your sitting room or in a bar. It's really hard to do it in front of a hundred people because what happens is we get into fight or flight and we start to rush and we start to, um. And suddenly it's not us anymore. It's this kind of weird, rushing person. Now, I want you to know how to stop that and to get back into the friend system so you can be conversational. It's actually quite simple to do. The simplest tip is to imagine that you're talking to an old friend. You can do this anywhere. You can do this if you're speaking to the un, in fact. So just imagine that in the audience in front of you. Picture an audience and see a room full of your oldest friends and just imagine smiling at them. Now, that smile changes your breathing. It changes how you feel. It gives you a much warmer voice. So you can just remember that when you walk out in front of an audience, you can also imagine that you have your friends around you when you speak. Maybe a sense of giving the audience a hug and being surrounded, having a tribe of people to support you there. That can really help. But the final thing to do, the thing I think that makes the biggest difference of all, is to cut the gasp. Now, what I mean by that, I'm going to do one, is that when we're nervous, we gasp for air and we pull air in through the mouth. And that's what we do when we have a shock. So it makes you feel stressed quite quickly. Now, what actors are taught is instead of doing the gasp, close your mouth, breathe a lovely smell, smell a rose. Now, here's the thing. If when you're speaking, every time you hit a pause, instead of gasping, you close your mouth and you smell that lovely rose, what happens is that you start to have conversational ease. So remember, talk to old friends, smell a rose on every full stop, and you will feel so much more conversational. So the fourth confidence booster is all about speaking with clarity. Because it's really annoying to have someone say, could you say that again? Or sorry, I didn't hear you. Let's stop that for once and all. We're going to learn a few really useful tongue twisters and articulation exercises. Now, These are probably ones to do at home because you may not want to be doing them on public transportation. So just have a think right now. You can even put your hands on them about your articulators. You've got your lips, you've got your tongue, you've got your teeth, you've got your cheeks. You've really got the whole face to shape sound. And I'm going to show you what a lot of us do. We stop moving the face and so we get quite a flat sound and it becomes a bit unarticulated. And that's when people can't really understand you. So the first rule is, if you want to speak clearly, move your mouth. And we're going to wake up the mouth so that you can do that. So just go back to the basic rules. Feet hip width apart, straight spine, ears over shoulders, because that helps your breath and it also helps your articulation. And then I just want you. This does look a bit silly, so go with it. I want you to warm up your face. Just massage your cheeks, massage your lips, massage your jaw and just get the face moving. You might do. Again, a bit silly, but go for it. Do a really big face like you're stretching your face. And then do a very small face like you're sucking on a lemon and it's not very nice. And then take the heels of your hands and put them just above your ears and slide them really heavy. The heels of your hands down your jaw, all the way to the bottom of your jaw or on both sides. Just do that one more time. Heels of hands just by your ears. Oh. Slide them down the jaw. And it just lets your jaw relax and feel heavy. And once you've done that, you might notice that you have space between the back teeth, like a little cushion of air between your teeth. That really helps for articulation. And then I want you to do a big yawn. And you can put some sound into it if you want. Do a couple of those. They're so great for stretching your voice. Now let's go to the lips. Just move your lips around. Maybe imagine that you're a horse. And just blow through the lips. Do that again. And then pout like Marilyn Monroe. And then grin. Do a really wide grin. And just go from pouting to grinning a couple of times. Moving the lips around. Now, once you've got that, then I want you to take the tip of your tongue and maybe put your fingertip on the tip of your tongue and just take the tip of your tongue to your Top lip, bottom lip, the left hand side of your lips, the right hand side of your lips. And now see if you can write your name with your tongue in block capitals. And then when you've done that, when you've got the tongue moving, I want you to say, ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta. And then you can play with any consonant. T da guh kuh ka ka, kaka, kaka kaka ka da da da da da da da da. You could put pause on this and play with any consonant you can think of. Make it like a machine gun. Then take a couple of tongue twisters. Red lorry, yellow lorry is a good one. See if you can say that first slowly. Red lorry, yellow lorry. And then start to really speed up. You can do the same thing with red leather, yellow leather. Put a pause on, say it slowly, then say it really fast. And the last tongue twister I want you to say is a critical cricket critic. So again, start slowly, a critical cricket critic, and then put pause on and start to speed up. It's quite a tough one, but it will get your articulators moving. So now, once you've got the articulators nice and warm, you should feel that your face is starting to move when you speak. That's what you want. Now just take a line or two of something you have to say to your audience and really practice saying it, making every single consonant work for you. So you shape the sound and you own your words. Then no one will ever have to interrupt you again and say, what did you say? And you'll also feel much more confident. The fifth confidence booster is all about waking up. Because sometimes you've had quite a sedentary day and you suddenly have to speak to an audience and you feel low on energy. These things are what actors will do before they go on stage. Now, it's worth saying they are not for public transport. You probably can't do them in the office, so you might need to find a quiet space at home or at work to do these in. The first thing that actors generally do is shake out their limbs. So take your left foot forward, press down on your left big toe, and then take your right arm and just shake the hand. Take the hand in the air and give it a shake. And then what actors will then do is swing your arms. So just check that you have space to swing your arm without hitting anything. And then swing your arm forward and backwards with the knees slightly bent and just release the shoulder into the joint. Be loose. Imagine that you're slightly drunk or very relaxed. And then let that arm come back to center and swap legs. So take your right foot forward again. Check that you can swing your left arm without hitting anything. And just take a moment to swing your left arm forward and backwards. And then let it come back to center and shake out that left hand. So swing arms, shake hands. Then you're going to pick your shoulders up to your ears as high as you can. And that's the in breath, and then on the out breath, just drop them down. And just do that one more time. Pick your ears up to your shoulders, in breath, and then on the out breath, drop them down. Now you can pause and do that a few more times if you want to. So we've released shoulders. Now what I want you to do is release your legs. So take your weight onto your left foot, really ground it down, and you can lean on something if you want to. And circle your ankle. Just feel it going clockwise five times really slowly. And then take it anti clockwise really slowly, moving into the joint. And then if your knee feels okay, you circle into the knee and do that five times, circling around the knee joint and then circling to the left. If anything hurts at all, please do stop. And then you can also, if it feels comfortable, circle into the hip. So circle five times clockwise in the hip and circle five times anti clockwise. You're just taking the joint in a circle within the hip itself. And then we do the same thing on the left leg. So put your weight onto your right foot, take your left foot off the floor, circle the ankle five times clockwise, circle the ankle five times anticlockwise, and then do the same thing with the knee. If the knee feels comfortable, please don't do this. If it doesn't, circle your knee five times within the joint clockwise, and then five times anticlockwise. And then once that knee is nice and loose, do the same thing into the hip joint. So do five nice hip circles into the hip clockwise, and then do five circles anti clockwise. And when you come to the end of those five circles in ankle, knee and hip on each leg, you'll feel that your feet are so much more relaxed on the floor, which means you can walk out on any stage and feel really easy and confident and relaxed. Now, the final thing to do once you've got that nice groundedness and your shoulders feel relaxed, is just to press down on your big toe. Because what it does is it gives you a real sense of energy and confidence. Now just work out which foot you lead off. Do you Lead off your left foot or your right foot. That's the foot you want to press down on. Just press down on that big toe. Really grow it down into the floor like it's got roots. And notice how that gives you energy. With those things in place, take the first three lines of something that you have to say and just have a play so that when you walk out on stage or into your meeting, you have that energy in the body. Even when you come back to normal posture, keep that energy on stage and keep your right big toe grounded. Hey guys, thanks so much for joining me for the Conference Confidence Booster audio course. I'm Caroline Goyder. You can find out much more on Caroline G O Y-E-R.com or you can find me arolinegoyder across Twitter, YouTube, Instagram, LinkedIn and Facebook. Thank you so much. I hope your confidence is boosted. And please do say hello if you find this useful.

You've made it on time for the McDonald's breakfast menu. You think? TSL. Finally I could start my day with my perfect breakfast. But what if breakfast breakfast could be even more perfect with the hot honey sausage egg biscuit it finally is. This won't last forever, so go to McDonald's and get it while you can.

What a powerful and practical lesson by Caroline Goyder. To learn more and to gobble up all her books, go to carolinegoiter.com that's Caroline G O Y-E-R.com there's tons of great materials and resources there where you can continue to build your confidence in gravitas to be a better communicator. Listen, if you found these exercises helpful, don't stop here. Keep going. Re listen to this exercise and redo the exercise tomorrow and the next day. Check out Caroline's resources over at her website. You have momentum now. You actually participated and did something about building your confidence. Because at the end of the day, they say the most attractive feature we find in people is confidence. Thanks so much for listening and I'll check you in tomorrow's episode. I'll see you then. Take care.

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You've made it on time for the McDonald's breakfast menu. You think to yourself, finally, I could start my day with my perfect breakfast. But what if breakfast could be even more perfect with the hot honey sausage egg biscuit? It finally is. This won't last forever, so go to McDonald's and get it while you can. Ba da ba ba ba.