Patrick Mosher argues that common phrases like "no problem," "no worries," and "can't complain" are double negatives that weaken genuine positivity. He challenges listeners to notice these phrases in themselves and others, then replace them with straightforward positive language like "I'd be happy to" or "I'm grateful."
Chapters
As the waiter finished jotting down our order, he smiled and turned on his heel, punctuating our exchange with, "No problem." I've heard "no problem" thousands of times. It's a common phrase used in our culture, and this time his response kind of hit me funny. I turned the phrase over in my head. No problem. Did my order present a potential problem? Did he need to assure me that our order was not a problem for him? And when did ordering from the menu at a restaurant become a problem? In a simple everyday exchange, problem was introduced out of nowhere. Here's the problem of no problem. The words no and problem are both negatives. And two negatives do not equal a positive. I'm going to geek on you a little bit here with a scientific proof. Put two negative ends of two magnets together. Neither magnet magically turns positive. They don't attract. In fact, two negative ends of magnets repel each other instantly. 2 electrons with negative charges don't magically create a positive charge. They bounce from each other. So when someone says, "No problem," they're not actually affirming anything. "No problem" is not a positive response to a request. Okay, I know I'm weird, but these are the types of thoughts that run through my head when I interact with people in everyday exchanges. The words "no problem" are a double negative, and a double negative served with a smile seems incongruous. Instead of a double negative, how about serving up a positive response like, "I'll get that right for you," or "thank you for your order," or "what a delicious order that choice would be." But No problem? From that moment, I started listening for "no problem" as a well-intended response. Have you ever noticed something once and then you see that thing over and over and over again? You see, "no problem" popped up everywhere. And then the inevitable happened a few days later. My wife asked me to take out the garbage and I responded, You guessed it. "No problem" fell out of my mouth. It was like I could see the words escaping from my mouth in slow motion. I tried to pull them back as I realized I was saying them, but my brain couldn't catch up with my tongue. Two negatives don't equal a positive. "No problem" does not equal "Yes, I'll take out the garbage." Once I noticed the problem of "no problem," I started noticing the other double negatives that creep into our everyday language. So, here are 6 double negatives I'm working diligently to convert to positives: no problem, no hassle, no worries, can't complain, not bad, wouldn't hurt. I'd love for you to add to my list. So, if someone asks you to do something, don't answer with "no problem," "no hassle," or "no worries." Smile. Let them know that the request brings you a bit of joy to fulfill their request. Even a simple "yes" is better than a double negative. If someone asks how you're doing, don't answer "can't complain" or "not bad." That doesn't mean anything. It's a lazy response that gives the person who cares about you nothing about the state of you. Answer with a real answer about how you're doing. If someone asks your opinion if they should do something, don't answer, "Well, it wouldn't hurt." Okay, it doesn't hurt, but does it help? Tell them it's a good idea. I'm now on a mission to convert my language from double negatives to positives. I challenge you to join me in this mission of positivity. Take 3 simple steps. Number 1, notice the double negatives, those phrases that you use. Number 2, notice the double negatives that other people use. And number 3, and this is the hard part, replace your double negatives with positives whenever possible. The simple shift in your language will send a ripple of positivity in your business, in your community, and especially in your home. Imagine the immense positivity wave we can create. Shine boldly.
