Mary Brown Testimonial

Yeah, you go.

Hey, Mary.

Hey, my face in here?

Yeah, we want your face in here too. So, um, I just wanted to kind of interview a little bit about your experience of being a client of mine with Pennywise Coaching.

Okay.

And it's been a while back, like years probably, but I know it's impacted your life. And so I just kind of wanted to talk with you a little bit about what you remember about that experience and kind of where you came from, what you thought about maybe what did you expect of coaching? Because I was a fairly new coach at that time too.

Yes. So what was happening in my life at that time was I was planning to get married and in this place of deciding about, do we combine our finances? What would that look like? Or do we not? We did want to combine our finances and had kind of gotten that advice um, in a variety of places. And I had some hesitation around it because, um, the partner that I intended to marry came to the marriage with a significant amount of debt, um, like $100,000 in debt.

Okay.

And, um, so we did have to work through a little bit of like his feelings of shame around that, my judgment around that. Um, and I, when I kind of learned that, my initial thought was like, I don't really know if I, like, if this would impact my decision to marry you or if this would impact my decision to join our finances together. Um, and yeah, so I think that initially that's what was going on. For me. It wasn't that I had accrued a lot of debt, but I also hadn't accrued very much wealth, um, at the time. And so I was just— how it was impacting me before that was really like kind of this pit of my stomach, like nervous feeling and a little bit of like shame and embarrassment around like, oh, this decision-making around it, right?

Had you tried anything before we started coaching together? Do you remember?

Well, I was pretty good. My, when I, so I had been a single mother before that and I was a social work manager. And so I didn't have a high income, but I had learned to live within my means. Right. And I had contributed like to the 401k, um, with the business, you know, at the, um, company that I worked for and I had like some emergency money kind of set aside. So I felt pretty comfortable as a single person. It was really the, the joining the finances together that I was worried about.

What do you remember of the process? Cause like I said, it's been a long time.

I know.

So I don't know what you, your memory is of.

So we had done like a Financial Peace course. Together and learned some of the concepts from Dave Ramsey. Um, I had done one first on my own, and then we did it together. And so we kind of had learned like the concepts. I remember listening to the radio show. I remember other various people that we were kind of getting that like financial information from. But what really we needed that we hadn't tried yet was the implementation of it. Right. So we like understood the idea of like, oh, you know, you put your debt together in a snowball and pay it off and, you know, create a plan for that. Like we, I think, understood the idea of it, but we, it was really helpful to have a coach that like the spreadsheet that you created you know, for us was much more detailed, much more like individualized. And also when we would meet with you and you would be like, okay, let's take a look at the numbers. Like, how's it going? Then I felt really good about like being able to, I mean, the first showing the numbers was like, that was the hard one, right? It's like when you wake up naked the next day, right? But after that it's like, oh well, She's already seen it, like, right. And we're making progress. Like, it felt better every time after that. So yeah, I think—

Do you think your partner felt the same way?

Yes, I think he felt the same way in terms of, I think he was less worried about your judgment. He was more worried about my judgment, right? And it was kind of like, okay, now we're coupled together against this problem that we're solving. And we're seeing the growth and the fixing, you know, we're fixing it together. Um, I do remember at the time, like he really wanted to buy a house and I was like, no, we have to rent until we pay this debt off and save up for a good down payment. And so it was a couple of years that we rented until we were able to save up and put down payment on the house. Um, and luckily we were able to buy the house that we had rented. So we were able to not have to move. Um, which was kind of best case scenario, right? In my mind.

Yeah.

I was like, oh, well, we'll go ahead and move in and we'll rent until— and the banks of course were like, oh no, we'll approve your loan. You can get a mortgage. And I was like, no, I'm not comfortable already. Yeah, I don't feel ready, um, until I think we're in a better financial situation because like things break and, you know.

Yeah. So was there any part of the journey that you wished you would have done differently now looking back?

Um, it's gonna sound kind of silly, but the only thing I can think of is So we worked really hard and got out of debt, right? We paid over $100,000 off in under 2 years. So like 18 months-ish.

That's really quick for a lot of people. Yeah.

Really quick. Um, I worked really hard. Um, and at that point we were like a dual income family and we wanted to have a baby together. Okay. And so that was part of that motivation. That was part of the carrot was like, okay, so we're gonna live off of his salary, and all of my salary went to debt, and which is how we were able to pay it off so quickly. Um, and with the idea that when we had a child, that I would have the option of not working.

Right.

Um, and that felt really freeing because I didn't have the option with my older children. Um, I always felt like I had to work. It was the first time in my life that I felt like I didn't have to work. And even if I had chosen to work, it felt really good that I didn't have to, right? That I had that option. Um, the only thing that maybe— the only thing maybe I would have done differently is like, we did no vacations.

So you might have built in—

we did no vacations for like we still didn't even do vacations after we were out of debt because we were saving for a house and saving for having baby, you know, all the things. And so, and then COVID came and it's like, dang, we haven't done vacations in years. And, and I think that shifted my perspective a little bit about like prioritizing, like making memories with the kids when they actually still wanted to go do stuff with us and spending more time with extended family as my parents have been aging. And so that's the only thing that I, that I chose not to do when I was working on those financial goals that in hindsight, I don't know, maybe I, maybe I would have liked to have still done a vacation, but been more on budget with the vacation instead of not doing them.

Sure. Did you feel like I was pushing you to go that fast or to pay off that debt?

No, I was—

or tell you how to spend your money?

I was pushing him. Like, I was the pusher for sure.

Okay.

Yeah.

I think a lot of people when they first start with me kind of expect me to come in and tell them how to spend their money. No, it's not my money. Right.

Yes. But there were times where you were like, okay, but if you do that, then where's it going to come from? Or you know, if, if you choose this, then what are you saying no to kind of thing, right? Or, I mean, a dollar is a dollar is a dollar, so, um, it's gotta, you know, come from somewhere. One thing we did do that was really cool was we did— we taught the kids, right, at the same time. So at that time, my children were middle school. No, they were in elementary school. Okay, they were in elementary school. They were like 7 and 9, 8 and 10. Okay, maybe 10 and 12 during that kind of 2-year time period. And just the other day, actually, my daughter, who's now in high school, um, was meeting with her school counselor about making her schedule. And one of the recommendations she had was like every— we really like to see everybody at this school graduate with like a personal finance class. And so she asked her a couple questions about her, you know, personal finance. And she was like, I don't think you need it. And I was like, ah, that's so awesome. Like, right? Like the idea of like how to budget, how to save, like where the money comes from and, you know, things like that. And I was like, oh, and my daughter said, oh, my mom used to give us these envelopes and make us earn money for chores and, you know, like all these kinds of things. And I was like, yes, we totally did. And it was impactful enough now that she's, she's got a good savings and she's thoughtful about how she spends her money and she saves up for what she wants.

And, you know, yeah, that makes me feel really good because I do think it's generational and it's the impact that you changed your family tree, you know, and how that's going to impact her in the long run and potentially you know, any kids your kids have, those kind of things. And I think sometimes we don't realize how much our kids are watching on lots of areas of our lives, right? And whether you're doing it poorly or you're doing it great, or are you talking about it? Most people that I work with say they were never taught anything about money and their family didn't talk about it. So then they're just doing the best they can. And sometimes that's where the mess starts.

Yeah. And the other thing is that So, um, the husband that I was marrying, we've since chosen to end our marriage, and our conversations about finances are still very easy, right? I mean, there's still— there's no shame anymore, there's no judgment anymore, there's no embarrassment. It's— it just kind of is what it is, right? Like, this is what this is what our daughter needs. And, you know, like, what's your available funds or whatever, something like that. Um, or how are we going to split this up? Or you pay this, I pay that kind of thing. Or, um, you know, we might need more for this or we might need less for this kind of thing. And it's really made those conversations just a lot easier because we don't have that emotional charge around money anymore. It just is It's just numbers at this point.

It's a great way to start a relationship is to start talking about that. Because unfortunately, a lot of people come to me when they've been married a really long time and they've already developed really bad habits. I think that was one of the things for me that was the most exciting to work with you guys because you weren't even married yet. Yeah. You know, and there's not a lot of people who will be like, okay, this is important to me. So kudos to you guys for saying this is a good foundation for a marriage. We need to have these conversations because we all know that that's often a big sticking point in a relationship. Yeah. And we have enough other things to, you know, work through.

Right, right. And I think that bringing that kind of financial literacy, right, discussions, openness at the beginning of the marriage really did pave the way to be able to end the marriage with kindness and grace and no shame. And, you know, and be able to like— yeah, and be able to, um, like continue to like be financially invested in raising our daughter together, you know, and not have really—

because unfortunately a lot of people stay in a marriage because of the finances, right? And since then you've started your own business, so So you went from, you know, a consistent income to a stay-at-home mom to now probably an inconsistent income. How do you think those things have transitioned to running your business?

Well, yeah. So I w— I don't actually do like the best job of, which I'm sure you would like me to do, or you probably do of like putting, like, I have a fund for this in case, you know what I mean? I just— when I started my business, this is what has worked for me. Um, so my business doesn't have a ton of overhead, right? Um, I know some businesses have a lot of overhead, and so they're pretty limited on like how they can do their business budget. But right from the beginning, I just decided like I'll pay myself half, every 50% of every dollar that comes in every month, I pay myself half. Um, and that goes into my personal account and then I can choose if I'm going to spend that or save that or give that or whatever. Um, and then for my business budget, I just split it into— I take that other half that stays in my business. I put half of that, so 25%, into what I call like a business savings account, right? I mean, that's how it's set up. It's So it pays for taxes and gives profit in there. And then the other 25% is like, oh, that's what I get to spend, right? So that covers all the things. It covers office supplies. It covers my own coach or networking groups. It covers, you know, conferences. It covers all the, you know, my marketing things, stuff like that. And so it's just worked really well because all the money comes into one account. And I just split it, you know, half here, half here, and this half goes into 20, you know, also splits in half. And then in my personal money, that 50% also has like categories. So I've just stayed with the percentages and that's what's worked really well for me. That's pretty much what I teach now too.

Yeah. Is picking the percentage. And like you said, if you, if you're a service-based, usually 50% is a good starting point for you know, what to pay yourself. But if you have brick and mortar, you have a lot of supplies, things you have to keep on, you may have to pay yourself a little less, right, for it to keep your business afloat, right? But it's all relative. And then when it's percentage, it doesn't really make a difference if it's a little or a lot. It's consistent, and you've got the money there when the CPA says write the check for your taxes, right?

Yeah, right, which is huge. Yes.

And keeping them separate, right? That's the other piece. I see a lot of people that they've somehow gotten into business for a significant amount of time and made a lot of money, but they got everything commingled. So we sometimes have to just start with like cleaning it up, you know, sort things out. But again, I really try to go at it to be non-judgmental about that and just be like, all right, this is where it is.

Yeah.

You know, that's where we have to start, just like with $100,000 of debt.

You know, I can remember you telling me like, well, you got a big hole, but you got a pretty big shovel. So we'll just get to work.

And you did it really well. And I think there's a lot of grace in the process. Some months you do it better than others. And even I still make mistakes and don't make the right decision. But if that decision even would have been like, if like in hindsight or as you go forward, you go, no, sometimes I want to build in a little more vacation. And slow down on debt reduction or whatever, I think that's okay. Personally, I've really— I've grown into like, there's not one way is the highway kind of process for people, and we have to do what feels right for us and then live with it. You know, if you chose to go on, you know, expensive vacations, then it's going to slow down your other debt repayment, but you're probably going to pay more for that. So you have to factor that in and look at it with your eyes wide open.

Right.

But that's what making value judgments are all about.

Right.

And we're all different. What you value isn't always what I value.

Right. So, right. Yeah, I agree. I agree. And I think I don't have regrets about not going on vacation. I just think my, maybe my perspective shifted during COVID because we were, we were limited to what we were able to do. And my parents somehow got old in 2 years, right? And, and my teenagers, like, my children became teenagers and didn't really want to hang out as much as they had before. And so I just think, like, my life perspective changed a little bit over kind of being, living through that pandemic experience to where now I'm willing to spend more time making memories and vacations and experiences.

Well, and again, when you're not carrying around a bunch of debt, you can do that. You can make that choice, right? And it doesn't feel so burdensome. And just getting it to the place where you can see light at the end of the tunnel and make those choices. And then that next piece where people get out of debt, I want to help them then remember that, oh, you're, you're going to be old someday too, you know. And what do you do as a person to say, oh, it's not just spend it all today, but also to plan for the future. So, right, just trying to keep everything in perspective and in line of sight so that you don't focus so, you know, closely on this that you forget there's some out there.

Yeah. One thing that I know people have difference of opinion about is like, as a business owner, what things you do yourself and what things you hire out. And I definitely fall on that hire out category over there, like that pendulum of like, no, I like doing that. I mean, it's not that I'm not willing to, I just know like my gifts, my talents, my skills are this, and I want to lean into those and embrace those, and that's what people come to me for. And so I don't, I don't do bookkeeping, like I don't do social media. I don't— you know what I mean? Like all the things.

Um, but you're apparently paying for that out of your percentage that's left out of that 25%, right?

And I get to decide like what are the things that I think are valuable, are valuable for that. Um, and I have 25% of whatever I make to pay for that, right? Um, yeah, I, I think that's tough lessons.

I've struggled with that myself. Like, when is it time? And I've heard that over and over again, you know, pay people to do what they're good at so you can do what you're good at, right? And I think when you're either new in business or a solopreneur, you always feel like, I can't afford to pay other people. But it seems like when you pay other people, more comes in.

Yes. I think there's something about like trusting in the process. I mean, I don't really— I don't live in scarcity. I haven't lived in scarcity since we got out of debt, right? It's not— I mean, I don't— I have not thought like I don't have enough of anything. It's not— I don't— I've never— I don't think I have, not just financially. I mean, I believe that I have enough dollars. I believe I have enough resources. I believe I have enough time, right? And so I think being out of debt has really helped me to move into that like sufficiency kind of mindset. Sometimes I go between sufficiency and abundance, but I never— I have not been back into that scarcity space since then. So that was, I mean, 8 years ago.

It's been that long. So let's just wrap up a little bit here, but I want you to have an opportunity to share what you do for this business that you do and how people might reach out to you if they're interested in what you do.

Oh, sure. So, um, I am a coach and I specialize in helping people pleasers have better boundaries. And it's interesting that we talk about that in regards to finances because oftentimes if you think about what a budget is, it really is— yeah, it's really your own boundaries with your finances. Um, And, um, I, I mean, I love coaching people about boundaries, and I think that, uh, you get to decide where your money goes, right? And that's one thing that we have in common. Like, I choose— I tell people, like, from that place of empowerment, like, you're already valuable, so you don't have to earn your money. You don't have to earn your value through money, and you get to decide. What you want to do with the resources that you have. And that kind of place of empowerment is, is really where it's at. Awesome.

I'm going to give your website or how people can reach you, and then I'll probably drop it in the comments as well. Oh, you're so sweet.

Sure. Um, uh, boundariescoach.com is my website. Pretty simple. Okay.

Yeah, great.

Thank you. You're welcome. Thank you.