How to Play Tennis with A Perfectionist Partner

You're listening to the Tennis Psychology Podcast with Mental Game of tennis expert Dr. Patrick Cohn. Do you want to improve your mindset for tennis? Then join us on the Tennis Psychology Podcast.

What do you do if you have a perfectionist doubles partner that tends to get on your case when you're not playing to her standards? Hi, I'm Dr. Patrick Cohn. In this episode, I'm going to answer a question from Nicole, who plays with a perfectionist doubles partner. You're listening to the Tennis Psychology Podcast.

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Here's the question I received from Nicole. How do I focus on my own game and not worry about a perfectionist double partner who can have high expectations of me? She gets on my case when I don't play to her standards. Nicole, good question. It's really important that you work together with your doubles partner. And if she's getting on your case for missing shots or dropping points, well, that's problematic because then you're not feeling confident and you're not feeling like you can execute the way you can. That's probably why it's important you find someone at a similar level to you when you play with them. If you're on a 8.0, then maybe you want two 3.5 or two 4.0s and that may certainly work out in your favor. But if she has high expectations for you, that means she has high expectations for her own game. In team events like in tennis or other sports, the best athlete or the athlete that is the star player on the team often projects their own expectations or their own standards onto other athletes as well. And then they get upset when other athletes aren't performing up to their standards, but which is really unrealistic. You have to understand your strengths as a double partner and you have to understand your partner strengths as a double partner as well. And sometimes you're going to have weaknesses, sometimes she's going to have weaknesses as well. So that's just part of playing doubles. My recommendation is that you talk with your partner prior to the match and you work out a strategy on what you're going to do. You're going to go double up, double back. You know who's going to be on the do side, who's going to be on the add side, and then also discuss those things about how that you can be a good teammate and how she can be a good teammate. Negotiate that. Set the ground rules. Tell your perfectionist doubles partner that you tend to get in your own head and and you tend to get self critical yourself when she's heaping it on and expects you to play at a certain level that it doesn't help you play your best. So you have to tell her how you feel and then how it changes your mindset out there when she's getting on you about not playing to her standards. Okay, I hope that helps. If you have a question, visit peaksports.com and click on Contact Us and I'll include it in a future podcast or video. In addition, if you want more information about how to improve your mental game, you can also go to sport sportspsychologytennis.com where you can read articles, watch videos, and also listen to podcasts there as well. All right, thanks for your question and good luck with your doubles partner.

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