Trailer: Real money stories from behind closed doors

Do you think you're cheap? I don't think I'm as bad as Greg. That's the second time I've noticed you deflected to Greg. Would your family say that you are cheap? Yes. What about friends? Yes. By the way, their net worth is about $2 million. My name is Ramit Sethi, and I've been writing about money and psychology for over 20 years. I don't know about you, but I'm always fascinated with what happens behind closed doors. I think that's one of the reasons that we love those real estate TV shows, because you can open up a door and suddenly see into this massive apartment where you can see somebody hoarding cardboard boxes and ask yourself, how could that happen? Well, I think that's the same with money. When was the last time you heard a couple fighting about money? When was the last time you heard a couple discussing their disagreements about money and they actually shared real numbers, real examples? Never. Most of us don't have access to those kinds of conversations, and so we do it alone. We think that our fight is the only fight of its kind. But in talking with tons and tons of people, people who opened up to me because of my experience and the trust that I've created with money, I realized that a lot of us are having the same money conversations. One of us is a saver, one of us is a spender. Some of us have earned a lot of money and feel anxiety around spending it. Other people just can't get on the same page with their partner. And I got access to these couples. They let me into their house. They shared real numbers. And for the first time, I'm going to open those conversations up to you. This is I Will Teach youh to Be Rich, the money and psychology podcast of real couples with real examples from behind closed doors. I was running late from work, and she was having a conversation with him, and the first thing he was talking about as I sat down was how to manage now that she had $10,000 of credit card debt. And I was like, you have $10,000 of credit card debt? Like, how? You know. At one point I told Jess, we're not having kids. We can't have kids. How are we going to provide money is ridiculous in New York City? It's out of control. I don't care about the numbers. If I want to visit my family, I know that we have the money. And of course, it frustrates me a lot because the only one of the two of us that is able to pay for these kind of Things is myself. Money is starting to cause real problems in these relationships. His dad was just like, I sign each of you up for 2000 for this donation. I had just never been exposed to family requesting thousands. I hate it. Yeah, we're just. I feel like we're throwing money out the window. Yeah, you are. I'm sick and tired of having to ask all the time. I know. I'm the stay at home mom. I feel like it's his money. It's pretty much the only thing that's a stress point in our relationship. The truth is, I have no part in the crypto whatsoever. And it takes up almost all of your time, morning and night. These conversations start around one topic, like a stress point or crypto. But as you push and probe and unravel this conversation, you realize that it's much, much more complicated. It's much deeper than just money alone. I feel like it's a huge weight that we're both carrying, and so I don't want to take on anything else. Like, John wants a second kid. He's thinking about it, and I'm just like, no. Like, we have to pay this off. That's where I come in. I always felt like I didn't quite understand some of the things that other people got naturally. I remember being in my early 20s and looking around at all these super fit people, and I had no idea where they learned that. How do you learn what a deadlift is? How do you know what to do when you walk into a gym? I had never learned it, and I think a lot of us feel that way about money. Nobody has ever taught us how to talk about money with our partner. In fact, we don't even know much about money ourselves, much less how to bring somebody else into it. Which is why I wanted to show you exactly how to do that on this podcast. For some, this might mean improving their communication. I'm an entrepreneur. She's not an entrepreneur. She is an employee. For others, it might mean completely reframing the way they see money. Stop thinking like, you're still poor. You make $270,000 a year. As you start to push and pull around your money beliefs, you might be surprised at how far back into childhood you end up going. I grew up with an alcoholic father. His needs were always the most important needs of the family. So I grew up accepting what came to me. My parents never had enough money. Their English was very bad. So of course I had to deal with all, like, phone calls, collectors, collection agencies, credit card. How old were you? Elementary. What? Sometimes these are minor disagreements, but more often they are major sources of tension. Is what I'm saying true? No. If I don't know why you're shaking your head no, it's not true. And why do you return all my gifts that I buy you? Because you don't want me to spend money. I don't like the gift. You two want to ask each other anything or share how you're feeling? No. Okay. There are going to be some serious revelations. You can stop partnering up in business. That's what I'm trying to achieve. Yeah. That's pretty interesting. And some of these revelations will come from within. You're not lazy. I do think we're lazy. My weakness is my communication with her. It's eye opening to see. Obviously, that's a great vision and everybody wants that, but what does it actually take to get there? I don't think we've ever talked about things like that before. If we're able to actually connect, that's where the magic happens. That is the first time I've heard you say that. I just want to go give him a hug. It's funny how in 90 minutes, you opened up things in our conversation that weren't there. I think we got to the bottom of things. So thanks a lot. Really appreciate it. I think we need you to be our marriage counselor, too. Now, on this podcast, I'm not going to walk you through how to set up a Roth ira. If you want to know how to do that, go get a copy of my book. I think it's much more interesting to hear real people talking about the actual financial challenges that they're facing. If you've ever disagreed with your partner about money, if you've ever felt anxious about spending or wondered why the other person can't see things the way you do, then this show might be for you. And if you've ever wanted to move towards a richer life, but you're not sure how to bring somebody else with you, and I think we can help. If you're just plain curious about how other people talk about money behind closed doors, then I know you're going to love I Will Teach youh to Be Rich, the podcast. This is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and everywhere you can find podcasts. Welcome to the show.