A Mother's Love | Momma Candy Speaks

Who told you to quit? Wasn't me. It ain't over until the fat lady sings, and guess what? She's on those epic. There are people that you meet every single day that's going through what you're going through, and you know what? Each one of them has turned the corner. But today, my special guest is the first person I ever knew that didn't give up, didn't quit. She turned a whole bunch of corners, fell down, but got back up. We all got one, but they're not like mine. Turning Corners, please welcome my mama.

Hi, y'all.

I told y'all, you just enjoy it. You just enjoy it. How you doing, girl?

I'm good, I'm good. I'm so grateful to be here, you just don't know. Okay, okay.

So this is a special edition of Turning Corners because we are basically just having lunch and talking to my mother. It's, it's important to me that people understand that in life, especially as you get older, you go through things. You, you, you bump heads, you miscommunicate, you don't understand, and sometimes you just disagree. It's different experiences, different experiences. And today what's important to me is that I just have a conversation, not just a conversation that's going to help me get to know you, but also a conversation that's going to help other people get to know their mother, their father, their grandmother who may have raised them, grandfather. But I wanted to document this because life is short.

Very.

I wanted to document this because it's important to me for me to always, or Like you, as you always say, the tree is leaning the furthest don't mean it's going to be the first one to fall.

Yeah, the first one to fall.

Did I say it right? Not quite, but you were close to it. Oh, close, okay.

Yeah, you were close to it.

First and foremost, how is your mental health? How are you feeling right now?

I'm feeling pretty good.

Okay.

And the reason for that is because I'm learning. Okay. I'm learning to set boundaries, and I've been setting them. Okay, pretty good.

Wait a minute, hold on, hold on. Now you already— this is good. When you— no, no, girl, mama, don't apologize. Okay, okay, please don't, don't do that. Uh, when you say set boundaries, what do you mean by that?

Uh, like Okay, let me, let me see how I can put this. For an example, and I know I'm probably already going into some of the questions you're going to have for me later because we discussed it, but when I say setting boundaries is that I think I mentioned this to you yesterday when you was cutting my hair too, that I'm an impact person. And I say I'm an impact person because I can go somewhere, baby. And go back again the next day. And they were like, I just, I remember you. I'm an impact person. I tend to leave my mark on people. How I do that, I don't know. I don't do it intentionally, but I do it. So a lot of people tend to like, almost like they can seek me out from the crowd. You know what I mean? And so they come to me and they're They'll tell me their stories. They'll tell me their issues that's going on and this and that. So now I'm learning to switch that off. When you come to me with your issues or you seek me out, I'm no longer, I'm not as available as I used to be. I tend to turn it off now. I don't want to hear it because I have to learn to take care of my mental issues. And I hadn't been doing that. I, I've been, uh, doing everything but that.

No, and you know what, it's interesting to say that because there's times I'll be, you know, at Horizons or whatever, and the band is playing. And people just want to talk. And I'm like, y'all do see I'm watching the band. And then I, I get the stigma of being mean because I create boundaries for myself where they don't even understand. You don't know what kind of day I'm having.

That part.

You don't know what you don't— I might want to go home and kill myself. You don't have no clue.

That part.

But you want to tell me about what you got going on. And, and I, I'll literally say, hey man, I'm kind of chilling right now, you know? And people think that you're being mean, but do you have a problem with people's opinions shaping your thought process?

I used to. Uh, I really did. I thought, oh, I wonder what they gonna think about me. Yeah, look what I got on. Somebody's not gonna, you know, somebody, you know what I mean? So I used to, and maybe it comes with age, They say age, wisdom. The gray hair is not gray for no unknown reason. You know, there's a reason behind it. So now that I'm older, it's almost like I don't care what to a degree you think of me. Because I'm going to come at you with 100% unreal. I'm a, you know what I mean? Yeah. So, yeah, I don't really care too much what you think of me. Okay. Okay.

Um, also I want you to remember the cameras are right there.

Oh, I know. Look at you. Hi. No, you're good. You're good.

No, no. So we still talking, but I just want you to be mindful of that. Don't worry about it.

Everybody does it. Everybody does it.

I know. So, no, no, you're good. You're good.

You're good.

Because the thing about it is, um, as you're younger especially, and this kind of leads into my first one of my first questions, uh, when you see the, the younger generation who was being influenced by social media, right? You see the younger generation being influenced by social media and they're, they're, they're almost trying to do what everybody else do. True that, because they don't want nobody to talk about them. So they got to have the purse, they got to have the hair, they got to have this. The guys got to talk like this, you got to be this way, you got to have the car, you got to have the Jordans and everything else. At what stage in your life did— is it an age thing or is it a stage thing where you say, you know what, I need to graduate from that?

Hmm.

Okay. So, so if you can go back, say, let's just say 20 years ago, what, what in 20 years ago, just on that, as far as allowing people to take over boundaries, take over the boundaries 20 years ago, do you think it would have looked different? Um, because that's a hard thing to do, right?

To set those boundaries where people can't come in.

Yes, ma'am.

It is hard. Okay. It is more difficult with your loved ones.

Um, come on, girl. Come on, girl.

Because they are your loved ones. You did pick them, you know. So you feel almost like you obligated to Mhm. Not have any boundaries with them.

Yeah.

But I've learned, and I want to say it did take me— hell, I'm old.

Not me, but not old. Stop it.

So, uh, even 20 years ago, I, I didn't, I didn't think of boundaries.

Yeah.

Because if I had, I probably wouldn't have all this gray hair. Hell, I probably wouldn't even be bald-headed, y'all.

You know what? You know what? For you to be shy on camera, you ain't shy at all. I am. No, you're not. So listen. I am. The reason, the reason I said that is because the boundaries— it was two, two things in my life that stopped the boundary thing for me. When I broke my leg in 2015 and I saw how many people did not come to help.

Ah, that'll do it.

I saw how many people were— seemed like they was almost excited That'll do it, right? About, you know, but then the other thing is when I moved to Dallas and during COVID how many people did not check on me when I was doing videos in my car freezing? And how many people did not check on me?

I got a question for you.

Okay, go ahead. This is good.

How many people knew you was in your car? I think in the cold. How many?

I went live on Facebook. I went live on Facebook.

Oh, you did?

I had at that time, if I go back and look at the memories, I think I had about 65 people watching at the same time. Because you know when you go live, they have the thing that's going up.

Did they have Facebook back then?

Yeah, Mom. Oh well, you know, hey, yeah, girl, I'm just learning how to Instagram. No, girl, no, I went live and that's That's how Yolanda now, uh, reached out to me. Yolanda and Monte.

That was in Dallas.

That was in Dallas. That's— they reached out to me. Remember the next day I went to Monte's house? I rolled through the snow to get to Monte's.

That's right, that's right. Oh, you're talking about— okay, I got you. Yeah, everybody lost pretty much electricity that year.

Yeah, but, but what I'm saying is that, uh, and I know what you're talking about. You're talking about in '98 when I was homeless. Um, but what I'm saying is that I got you. It helped me create boundaries. Yeah, because I realized I have to depend on me.

It would do it. It would do it, you know. So definitely do it.

20 years ago, and we're only going back there because you was in your 30s then.

Okay, I like that. I take that. Um, I take that.

20 years ago, I've seen— matter of fact, you had— you still freshly married, right? You— y'all been 25 years now, right?

20, 27, 28, 27 years. Okay, okay.

Um, so I gotta say this right here. How many years have you been married now?

27.

27 years. Okay, someone needs to hear this. And I'm putting the camera on me since you got my full salad.

Well, you—

You just being an alpha male. No, this is the whole purpose, right? What advice would you give to people who either want to get married or maybe want to give up on marriage because people think it's easy. I think people want the wedding. I think people want the glamorous stuff. Just saying, I got a husband.

Yeah, I'm married now.

So, so what advice would you, would you give to them?

Oh, on married life, 27 years. It's been 27 years of compromising. Oh, you have to compromise. It's not gonna always go your way, y'all. It's not. It's been a rough hill to climb, but guess what? I'm going down the hill now. Um, I wanna say hang in there if it's not abusive. If it's abusive, oh, by all means, please run. They're not gonna change. Unless you change it. But if it's not abusive, if it's just, you know, he's not showing you the attention that you used to get or doesn't make you feel alive anymore, you have to come alive yourself. You have to—

What does that mean? I mean, when you say come alive yourself, I learned to love me.

I, uh, come alive yourself is mean, do, do you, do you. Don't worry about if he's down there in the other room watching TV. Hell, let him sit down there and watch it. Go on, girl, go down there and do you. Go through your closet, see what you're gonna put on tomorrow. Get cute. Um, just do you, just do you. Uh, 27 years been rough. My husband haven't always been the easiest fellow, the dude, whatever y'all call them, to deal with. But I deal with it. And I'm grateful because now, at the end of the day, I'm reaping the benefits. I say that because, hey, I'm not living real large, but I'm living.

I love it.

And I'm learning to do me. I love it. Yeah, just do you. Just don't worry about him. But don't run at the sight of trouble. Don't run. Don't pack up and just go because you can. Because that's the easy way out to me. That to me, that is, that's a coward way out. Okay. Because we are going to have problems. And there are none. When I say none, I mean none. No perfect relationship.

Yes. So, Mama, this is good.

I don't want to go into another dude. A matter of fact, I said after this one I probably won't do it.

Well, I think one of the reasons that it's important for people to, to hear this is because we live in a world where— I'll be honest with you— it seems like the older women And I could be wrong, but I feel like at times the older women are competing with the younger girls instead of giving them wisdom because they're trying to get with it. And I'm like, y'all are not the same. You have experience on them. And because you have experience— like, I got people call me all— young, young guys call me Unc and everything else. They pull me to the side, hey Unc, you know. And I appreciate that because I'm not competing with what you got.

Right, right.

But it seems like— I'm not, I'm not saying it's the absolute for everybody. I don't want women to get mad at me, but I think that we missed the big mamas. We missed the, you know, because I remember you told me stories of Big Mama giving you wisdom and teaching you things. And when things wasn't going a particular way, even with her own, she was like, uh-uh, you gonna do XYZ. And I think we need to get back to that because— Go ahead. I'm sorry.

Can I just say something? I don't know or think this generation would actually get back to that.

Wow.

Okay. I don't see that happening. But I must admit, I agree with you. My mom always told us years ago, you never go with each other's boyfriends, your sister's boyfriend. You don't date your cousin's boyfriend, you know, or your friend. Let's just take away the sister. Let's take away the sister and the cousins. Let's do friend. You don't even date your friend boyfriend because if he can't, if he's not satisfying her, to the point where he's coming to you, then hey, you gonna have a problem with him too eventually, you know. Uh, these— it's all about— when I was growing up, my mom would have killed me with my booty being out. Uh, but I'm sorry, y'all, I said booty. Booty is what it is though.

Mama, you're not around, I cuss a lot on this podcast. I just want to put that out there.

Okay, okay.

I just wanted to put that out there.

Okay.

And I've heard you say more than booty before. We ain't gonna sit here.

I, I say I'm, I'm, well, you heard the same.

I'm just talking.

I don't know when last time you heard me say more than booty back.

You said church folks going, boy, what you— I'm just fucking around.

I know it.

But, but no, but it, but it is different.

Very different.

It's different.

Very different.

But why you think— cuz this is interesting. This is, this is something that, you know, they say is viral moment. Why do you think that this generation won't go back to that, or it seems harder for them to go back to that?

Because the parents want to be like the teenagers. You said yourself, parents go— how the older people seem to be competing with the younger ones. Um, I don't know if you meant Maybe the mamas are competing with the, with the children. Both, you know what I mean?

Both.

Um, I think as—

and even with the men, I'm not just putting on the women, the men too.

Yeah, the men too.

The men too.

Oh God, they even worse. But anyway, I, me personally, I, when I see the booty shaking, I just feel like you don't have to do all that to attract a man. Back in my day, you did not have to do all that. All you had to do is know how to dance, ladies. Why, why we playing? What we talking about? All you had to do was dance, and that's what I, I did. That was one of my passions. I danced a lot of days.

You know what, I think one of the things that— and the clubs are different now. I remember One of the things that was frightening to me, and I never got away from it being frightening, was going up to a table full of women and asking a woman to dance. And because it's 4 women there, these 2 might like me, but I don't like them. I might like her. So I go up and say, would you like a dance? And either she said yes, not right now, or no. You felt like the whole room was watching you whether it was a yes or no. But in some situations today, you might get cussed out. Or this happened to me a few weeks ago. Excuse me, can I buy you a drink? And then she said, well, if you buy me and my friends a drink.

Oh wow.

And I kind of looked at her like, first of all, I, I'm not trying to holla at them, you know. But it's a different time, and it could just be the environments I'm in. So I'm not saying that's all women for all places, but as a woman who has lived life, I always thought it was when you got picked out to dance, when you got picked out to, um, be the one that got the drink and nobody else at the table got it, and you like what he looked like and his swag or whatever he had, you know what I'm saying? I always thought that was like one up, like you felt better about yourself as far as he picked me out but he didn't pick y'all out. Cause that's how I would feel if a woman sent me a drink and I'm up there with a table full of my partners. I'd be like, oh, I look better than them.

Oh no, I never thought about it like that. Like, let's say for an example, you know, Dorothy is my, that's my ride or die. That's my cousin, y'all. First cousin. Um, my best friend. Wow, they don't. Anyway, um, her and I have gone out a lot. Sometimes, cause a lot of times it just be her and I. And well, then that's different because usually if it's just her and I, someone come over, then they buy both of us a drink, but they're really trying to holla at me. I do feel kind of special. Like, oh, look, girl. I got it. But if it's like a lot of us and someone just send me a drink, I guess you still feel special, but I don't think at this point I can picture myself like right now being out with friends and someone send me a drink or someone come over and signal me out to go dance with them. Cool. But it's just no big deal. I don't think I would make a big deal out of it.

Right, right.

You know what I mean?

Yes, ma'am.

I guess I will still though. I ain't gonna take that away. I still would feel special. I'm not gonna take that away. So, well, I guess you do feel kind of, but then for the guy, I don't know, cause I'm good about coming over to the guy, where I used to be.

Wait, wait, wait. You mean to tell me you would holla at the guy?

Let me take that away. If I see you sitting and you looking good, I have no issues coming to you and say, hey, but I probably won't ask you to dance per se. I don't know how to put this, Ray. Let me back up a minute. I say that because I remember driving down the street one day and I saw this guy just driving. I was driving down the street, y'all. And this guy was, I don't know if he was waiting on someone or whatever, but he was standing outside this grocery store. And he was, oh, that Negro was dressed from head to toe. He looked good. He really looked good. And guess what I did? Kirk! I backed up. Drove up into the parking lot and told him, man, you sure look good. You wearing that nice. But I left it there. I didn't get out of my car. I didn't try to You know, I just— so I don't know. I don't know. Just like you said, and I don't know if I would be embarrassed walking away and he said, uh, fully on you, then you just missed out. You missed out on a good thing.

So let me say this. The difference between the men and women is y'all are trained Really, y'all are trained to say no. We are trained to turn your nos into a yes. Our whole life.

What do you mean by trained to say no? Who trained us to say no?

Okay, there we go.

Okay. What do you mean by trained to say no?

Oh, okay. Watch this. I'm glad you said that because we own it. We're here. At a certain age, if we're not having sex at a certain age, okay, in school they call us punks and you weak and you this, you that. So now I got to get her no to be a yes. But you as a woman, at the same age, you better say no. If not, they're gonna label you as loose or Oh, you know what I mean?

Yeah.

So that's why I say we have been trained to say, turn your no into a yes. So how do we turn your no into a yes? Cologne, gifts, money, cars, uh, like all these tangible— these things that really don't mean nothing. We try to do that so therefore we can get her to say yes to, to our advances. So if I'm going up to a table I gotta make sure it's the right song. I gotta make sure I'm looking good, right? I gotta make sure my first words— I only got 5 words before she turned me down, because I— because other than that, it's gonna be tough.

So y'all are more easily to get embarrassed?

Absolutely.

By—

absolutely.

Saying no? Not a nice no, but nowadays, nowadays What do you mean not a nice no? No.

Excuse me, would you like to dance? Uh, with you? You goofy, you lame, you this.

I don't— girl, they don't. I get— I just know they don't. Okay, they don't do that. Come on, ladies, y'all not doing that, are y'all? Okay, no, that's not nice.

I'm gonna say that's not a lady. I don't think ladies do that, but they sitting with the table, they sitting at the table with the people and trying to impress. Okay, because there's a difference, and you know this, there's a difference between a lady and the other word, but sometimes they sit at the same table. Sometimes, sometimes this character— matter of fact, I think I told a story, and I don't know if I'm editing this out or not, but this is funny. Uh, a couple of weeks ago, lady, just, she was nice, she went to karaoke and she turned around. You know, it's a lot of construction in the city right now. And, uh, she said, well, how did you get here with Express? So as I'm telling her, the other lady cut me off. All right, not a problem. So I went and got my drink. As I'm coming back, she said, hey. I said, oh well, I just want to let you know I went through the parking lot at the Galaxy. And I'm explaining to her the whole situation. Her friend, which I later found out was her sister, went off. We was talking. When anybody talking to you, so I said, why you been so— and she's like, girl, man, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry.

That's a hater.

Well What's crazy is one was by herself and single. The other one that was loud was with her husband.

Oh wow.

And she said, I'm so sorry, she gets like that when she's drunk. She said, I'm so sorry, she gets like that when she's drunk. So what I'm saying is that we just live in different times.

Yeah.

But I am curious about something. When you was growing up, what was something you wanted to do? Something? What was like a passion you had growing up?

Oh wow, I, um, I grew up in a household of 13.

13?

I mean 12, I'm sorry.

You was 13?

No, I grew up in a household of 12, I'm sorry. Okay, so my passion Hmm, kind of, sort of, I guess you can say kind of faded in the wind. But one thing I did like to do, I love to decorate. When I say we grew up in, I grew up in a house of 12, I'm number 3, y'all. So that means it's a whole lot of them up under me. They wouldn't go out and play unless I took them. And we wasn't rich. We didn't have a whole, whole lot, but I used to love to decorate. That was my passion. I loved to decorate. I always changed our house around. Wow. I always, I mean, my other brothers and sisters would be outside playing, but I would be in changing our house around to make it look different. And I still do that right today with my own house. I do.

So you really like decorating?

That passion. Yeah. I really believe that if I had pursued that, I can see sit back and like if you're hanging a picture on the wall, I can sit back and center. I don't have to go over with a, you know what I mean? Yeah, I can center that picture and I can tell you how far down it might need to go.

So I'm gonna tell you this right here, and I know, I don't know if you remember this, my first apartment, my first apartment I'm trying to be grown. I moved out at 18, trying to be grown, and I had like 3 pictures. Every picture I had was lined up with the ceiling.

I remember that.

Listen, and you walked through the house, you like—

you like—

like I was saying, well, it's gonna be even if it's touching the ceiling.

I remember that.

No, doggone well, I didn't grow up like that, but I, you know, you don't pay attention to pictures and you just know that the house changed around because we come home from school, you didn't change the whole house around.

I changed around, y'all.

The plants are— well, so it was funny to me because this was the norm, changing stuff around.

That was my way I think, um, oh, can I, can I say something? Feeling that—

can I say something?

Please do.

After a breakup, I knew that it was over with whoever you was dating when the room was changed around. Ladies, I want y'all to hear this.

It's too funny.

No, no, I want the ladies to hear this because sometimes you— okay. Part of the reason when I got in this house, I— you don't see no remnants of the house in Northampton. None of everything, because I wanted a fresh start. I got that from you.

Exactly.

Because if you remember, I didn't really need no new furniture.

Mm-hmm. You didn't.

But I was like, this is connected to her or that past person. I got that from you.

And it works.

Yeah, but I got to pay the big old bill, so.

It works, ladies. It does. If you starting a new relationship, hell, just start everything all over. Change the furniture, change your dishes, change your sheets, change your linen. I did it. I do it up until this day. Well, hell, it's been 27 years, so not lately. But anyway, um, yeah, but that was— I used to love to decorate, Ray. That was my passion. And It had nothing to do with a relationship. Like I said, we was poor. We didn't have a whole lot, so I had to make do with what we had. So to make, you know, like, we didn't have a lot of company over here. We didn't need it. We had like 12, 13 siblings up under. It was so big, we didn't really. Mm-hmm. But I used to like to change.

Do you remember the first time that you felt like, I really enjoy changing the house around? And the reason I'm asking, because there's somebody that's going to watch this that's going to be like, I have something that I like doing, doing. And unfortunately, you have certain people who will tell them that's wrong, right? They would tell them what you're doing is not right because I couldn't do it, you know. Because sometimes people will crush your dreams. You know, sometimes they don't even know they're doing it unintentionally, right? You know what I mean? But like, like, say for instance, you change the house around and then Mama, you know, Mama G came home and said, girl, so now you're afraid to change anything around because she don't know this is a passion. And not even knowing, not even knowing that, hey, this is something I really enjoy doing, you know what I mean? So what age do you recall that this is something that you really enjoy doing?

At a very early age, Ray, to be honest with you. Always have. I've had people that come into my home.

Yeah.

And—

Yeah. Go on.

All the time. Like, oh, it's so nice in here. So cozy. And it wasn't a whole lot in there either. It was just the bare minimum. But I worked with it. You know, I made it work. And— So I think at a very early age, that was my passion. You know, I— we didn't, like I said, we didn't have a whole lot. Hell, I had to go hang clothes on the back line. We didn't have a dryer. And guess what, y'all? I'm just going to throw this in there. For the— for Christmas, we had that old, you know, the tree that's, you know, a silver tree or a green tree or whatever. We had an old that would sit in front of the tree and it would turn from red to green to blue, and it was just turning, then it turned to Christmas tree. That's how far back I go. Wow. You say how, when did I know that that was— early age. I always have. And like I said, people come over right to my house right today, and I don't live in no great, great, but I can show y'all some pictures, kind of cute. Because I do, I love to decorate. And I almost wished as growing up that I had followed that passion. You know how they have these empty homes, uh, they call them what, showrooms and stuff like that? I feel like I could have been one of those where I can go into and kind of dress it up.

So what's, what's interesting is you, you walked in today with the plant. Oh, and all the men that's watching this gonna understand my pain. My mama has been trying to put a plant in my house from Northampton to Dallas to— you have been trying to put the plant in my house. So today my mama brought a plant. Now I just need y'all to understand I don't like plants.

Poquito.

I don't know.

Hold on.

She picked out the plant. She told me where the plant's gonna go. She said, hey, it takes this, it takes this kind of— Now, any man's gonna understand what I'm about to say. You're gonna say, well, that's your mom.

Okay.

I am so my mama about my house.

Yeah. Yeah, you are.

Because I know what I want my space to look like. I got that from my mama.

And I'm not mad at you, but listen, that's why I back off.

No, no, no, she don't. No, she don't. The plant is ours and she gonna put the plant and she gonna call me tomorrow, just put some water in the plant, you know.

And I already told him when the water is, y'all.

So, but this is what's funny, this is what's funny about it, is because listen to this story, right? You figured out what— you know the house.

I do.

So you was like, I'm gonna have a plant that's gonna complement the house. And I guarantee you, you already have an idea where you want that plant to be at.

I do, but I'm not going to tell him.

There she is. And I'm gonna take a picture of it and put it on the website later on.

It's a beautiful plant too. It's a plant. It really is. No, it's a— and I think everybody should have some type of greenery.

Right.

I don't know, it kind of like enhance— it enhance the look. It gives it life. Okay, life. Okay.

And, and, and, and listen, and you gonna make it your baby.

Watch, you gonna come home and you gonna be like, hey girl, that plant would be dead in 30 days, y'all.

Hey girl, that plant would be dead in 30 days, y'all. I am not— so anyway, and I just started laughing because when she brought it in, right, Y'all, I think she's pretty. Look, when she— see, she gave it a gender and everything. It might be a he.

No, because she do flowers. I don't think man do flowers.

Okay. Um, huh.

I mean, you know, y'all give flowers, but I'm just saying, I don't think—

okay, so here's the question.

Oh, you can make me knock my thing off.

How make you knock your thing off? What, what is one of your proudest moments? Oh wow, what's one of your proudest moments? And, and I'm even say this, 1 to 3 of your proudest moments, but it can't be with your kids. Oh yeah, because that's, that's, that's something that all women are going to say. It's too easy. 1 to 3 of your proudest moments, can't be your kids.

Wow.

And then the question is Why? Oh, I love this. I love this. Yes, ma'am.

Wow. Mm-hmm. What's getting back up? Mm. Because there were so many times that I had fallen. There was so many times that I fell down. My proudest moment was getting back up. I kept getting back up. When I say falling down, y'all, I pulled cotton. That's talk good. I chopped. I lived on a plantation. Ooh, y'all, I got a story behind that one right there.

I'm listening. I'm here for it.

Come on. I went to— when I say I lived on a plantation, We had to go out and shower out in this outhouse because we had been out in the field all day. I was young. I didn't know. But this little girl told me, a little white girl. Can I say that? Little white girl, she says, I'm in there showering, minding my business. She looked at me and she said, "Ooh, y'all niggas have to scrub to get white." She said what now? "Y'all niggas have to scrub." "Rude to get white." And I was young. I didn't know no better. It hurt my feelings. I'm like, "Ooh." So I ran inside and told my mother. My mother was very protective of all of us. I mean, even though it was a lot of us, she was protective of each and every one. Not just one, two, three, four, five. She all of us. And she told me, she said, "You shoulda told that little B-I-T-C-H." T-H. They have to screw up to stay white. So my proudest moment is getting back up. And I say that because I can recall, if I can tell this story now, when I lived in Houston, Texas, I recall not having enough to eat for my children, for myself. I wasn't really concerned about me. I don't know if you even know this, Ray, but I recall going around my neighborhood, my apartment complex, I lived in an apartment complex, I knocked on doors and I'm like, hey, look here, you don't have to feed me. I'm not asking you to feed me. I'm just asking you. And I know a lot of us done been in the same shoes. I'm sure I'm not the only one that ever done this. Just keep pushing. I knocked on doors and I asked them if you would feed my kids, not me, just my children. And I had some low moments. I had some low moments, but I kept going. I kept going. Look at me today. I look cute. No. No.

Go ahead, girl. I mean, cause—

Mm-hmm. But it's— that's my proudest moment. It's just getting back up. So if you fall in, you feel like you down, you low, you don't— how low can you go? I mean, come on. If he don't catch you, he gonna give you wings to fly. One of the two. I mean, just—

Wait, wait, wait, wait. You ain't gonna just go over there. If he don't catch you.

Yeah.

He gonna give you wings to fly.

Yeah, either he's going to catch you or he's going to give you wings to fly. So girl, just keep flying.

Girl, that's a shirt. Oh, I love that. If he don't catch you, he gonna give you wings to fly.

Yeah.

So I want to talk about a story, uh, yeah, because I think people need to hear this. And on this particular podcast, this is Turning Corners, we we talk about moments in life where we turned the corner, where things was dark and dismal. Uh, this ain't a trash-talking podcast. This ain't no we put each other down podcast. The world will do that enough. When people tune into there, we try to uplift one another, right?

So many people need it.

I, I am curious as to— because I never asked you this, and I'm scared to ask, but I gotta ask.

Uh-oh. I'm scared, y'all.

When you was going through what you went through, and for a brief period we came back to San Antonio, I recall when, when, when we was reunited, I remember you got on my nerves hugging us. I don't know if you remember that. You came back to, you know, to get us back from Big Mama's house.

I gotta cut you. I gotta cut you off just for a quick minute because I was like, why she— and I got to say this, I got to before I forget.

No, no, go ahead, please.

I recall, I recall my, my mother-in-law had them, y'all, because I was, as I just said, I couldn't feed them, so my mother-in-law came and got them. Um, and I recall her calling me on the phone and she told me, she said, Ray is sick. I took him to the doctor. The doctor said they can't find nothing wrong with him, y'all. Um, wow. Mhm. I don't know if you remember that. Yep. And she said, um, he's missing you. He's missing you, Candy. And so that's probably why I hugged y'all so tight. I hugged you so tight because I You was having a really difficult time being away from me. Um, even though you are my oldest son, he's my biggest baby. He—

first of all, you ain't gonna put that on camera. I'm gonna edit that out.

Okay, but you're my baby. I was Leslie, but he's my baby, y'all. He was my baby for like 12, 13 years, right at 12 years.

Well, here's what's funny. My brother Ray tells me also, he says you're the most sensitive of both of us. He said, but you fight the most. He said, but you're the most sensitive. I said, that's why I fight.

That's why I say you're a big teddy bear. A lot of people think, oh, they see you, oh, you look so mean, you got that mean look. He ain't mean, y'all. He try to be. I tell him all the time, boy, you ain't tough and you want to be. You want to be a thug, huh? What you tell me that time?

You want to be a thug?

You ain't no thug.

Yeah, you ain't. But, but That, that, that, that, that, that time away.

That's probably why I hugged you so tight, because I remember that.

I don't remember everything. I remember being at Big Mama's house, we were just hanging out, and then I remember, you know, as a kid you don't really know everything that's going on, right? But I did know that where you placed us at was a place of peace. Safe, safe. Um, love and structure. Because one thing about Big Mama and Big Daddy, rest their souls— oh my God, when I tell you they had structure, they made sure we was okay.

No better hands.

I mean, you know what I mean? And, and, and I want to say this to y'all that are watching.

I couldn't put you in—

it was my father's mother, that's right, and father that took care of us. Watch this. And my sister biologically was not theirs.

Mm-hmm.

But till their death, you wouldn't know that.

You wouldn't know.

And, and I wanted to say that to this, to, to, to the, to the people.

Mm-hmm.

Because we kind of look over that nowadays. We, we look over community.

Mm-hmm.

We, we look over the fact that we need each other.

The village.

The village.

There you go. Come on, girl. The village. And my mother-in-law was my village. She always showed up, y'all. I don't know where I'd be today if she hadn't stepped in and helped me. And I recall, I do recall sending y'all back here because I couldn't feed y'all. And I stayed there because I had a job. I was working for Purellator Armor. I used to drive the armor cars. I packed a rifle in the back.

Yay! My mama was top flight security of the world, y'all.

The world. Okay, go. I handle a lot of money. Um, but, um, and what you did know, I, I wanted to prove to her, even though she had come and got you guys, I wanted to still prove to her as well as myself that I can still do this. So I stayed behind.

Can I ask you a question?

I stayed behind. Mhm.

Um, about how old were you at this time? Well, how was I?

Oh, you was a little fella, because I would tie Tammy hair up at night and y'all would hold hands and go.

So he's in your early 20s?

I was, I was young. I was, I was pretty young. Uh, yeah, yeah, I was. I want to say in my early 20s, right?

Because people who are watching, they think They'll see somebody's journey 30 years from now and think that's where they need to be at, not knowing it is a— you go through trials and tribulations.

Just remember, today doesn't define your tomorrow.

Girl, come on now.

You know what I mean? Just remember that today doesn't define tomorrow. Tomorrow— ah, God, how can I put it? I'm done with this. It's a different day. You cannot bring back yesterday. So, and when I was down and when I was, I look back at them days when I stayed behind when you guys came forth, came to with my mother-in-law. Ray Sorrell, I got to put it out there. I wanted to show that I could do it, you know? I think that's when I discovered my inner me.

There we go. See, you already—

I think that's when I found out who I am and whom I am.

Do you feel like that was foundational? That was something that— up to this point that was like, hey, that was a low point. I made it. Whatever else I go through, I can make it because of that, right?

I do, I do, I do. That's— that set me— that, that let me know that I can do pretty much whatever I want to do. Whatever I want to do, that's a difference. Whatever I choose to do, I love it, I love it, is, you know, different.

And the reason I say I love this is because there's somebody right now that may be watching this, maybe they flipping through YouTube, TikTok, or whatever, and they— someone that we have— we would never meet, but the footprints that you laid It's going to help them walk even more.

Remember I told you I'm an impact person?

Yeah, most definitely.

So I have to, when you just brought that up, I have to take that out of my head because I can picture someone right now that might, and so then it affects me. I sit here and I start to cry and I don't want to do that, but I will because I am that type of person. I walked in a ladies' room one year. It's been many years ago. I remember when I was working at this club, it's called West LA. I don't know if some of y'all looking, y'all might remember that and y'all might not. Years ago, years ago, West LA. I never forget it. I used to be in the ladies' room, y'all, with the perfume, the— Oh, that that they doing nowadays ain't nothing compared to what I did. I had everything, everything y'all needed, all kinds. Possibly ask for. Oh my Lord, this lady walked in the restroom and she was crying. She was boo-hooing. And I stood behind her and before I knew it, I blew a horn. I'm like, why am I crying? She stopped crying and turned around and looked at me and she said, what you crying for? I never forget it as long as I live. I told her, because you crying, I actually felt her pain. So when Ray just brought up a few minutes ago about someone might be looking or someone might be hurting, might be in a situation that I found myself in many, many years ago. Just know better days are coming. It really is. I mean, it's easier said than done. But if you choose to, because it's a choice. It's a choice. It's a choice to get up in the morning. God wake you up in the morning. You open your eyes. It's a choice if you want to get up or you want to lay in bed. So I'm just saying, if you want to look for a brighter day, just get up. Up in the morning. Just, just, just get up. Don't lay there.

So, so what's interesting is, um, there's a— the only scripture in the Bible that has two words, and whoever transcribed the Bible just took those two words. And it was interesting because if you go back and look at it Like, why did they just use— why did they do a whole sentence? But they did two words, and the two words was Jesus wept. That's all, that's all it says. It's Jesus wept. It ain't Jesus wept and it wasn't words before that.

The whole—

it's the shortest scripture in the whole Bible. Jesus wept. And the reason he wept is because Lazarus had died and he had— they placed him in the tomb and everything, and they came fussing at him and said, you know, if you was here, my brother wouldn't have died, and all the other stuff. And he saw their pain and he identified with their pain. This is the only scripture in the whole Bible that says Jesus wept. So when you said that, because it gives me peace, because I, I am a chameleon. I find myself at times I can't watch certain things because I will become some things I watch, right? I don't, I don't watch certain movies because I'll leave the house mad because, you know, they was doing some stuff on TV. Now I'm mad because I didn't took on the personality of that, but I found out this, this moment. I got that from you. Because if a person is crying, that's why I like going to funerals. I might not even know the person, but because y'all crying, I'm gonna cry. And I'm a big old thug. I'm a thug, mama. I'm an OG thug.

Can I say this? I am— there is a big difference Mm-hmm. Between sensitive and empathetic. Okay. They pretty much in the same— you can almost put them in the same group, but they're somewhat different.

No, most definitely, because sympathy means I feel sorry for you. Empathy means I identify with you, and your pain is now my pain.

Exactly.

I think the Greek word is anoemi, which means I stand in your footsteps. When you walk, I walk. Where your tears fall, my tears fall.

That's why Jesus wept. Okay.

And that's why you weep. Yeah.

Oh, thank you.

Because you are— you are— you have your spirit has aligned with their spirit, their pain. Like, like, you ever walk into a room and they'd be like, it feels like the room changed because you walked in? Okay, go ahead.

My sister, my youngest sister, invited me to a, um, they was having some type of church program. And mind you, I think that was, I don't know if it was my first time there. I'm not going to say, 'cause I don't really recall, but I didn't know anybody there but my sister and the pastor, her pastor. And we sitting there and we doing these projects that she wanted us to do. And I recall looking over my shoulder and this young lady, oh my God, she was, boohooing. She was just crying, Ray. And I just happened to put my eyes on her. Before I knew it, I didn't know that lady. I'm sitting there boohooing too. I'm like, "Lord, why am I crying? I don't know this lady." But I feel your pain. So I, I say that to say, ladies, gentlemen, if you're going— if you're going through a rough patch, just know better days are coming. Yeah. Yeah. Better days are coming. Yeah. I'm a very empathetic person. That's why I get in trouble with that, though. That's why I think I mentioned to you earlier about boundaries, learning to set boundaries, because I feel your pain. So I would take on your pain. I would take— I try to solve your issues, Hale, and then they become my issues. They no longer yours. They on my shoulder. Yes. Um, don't do that, y'all. If, I mean, love, it's okay. It's okay to send a helping hand, but don't let it overwhelm you. It's, I guess, is what I'm trying to say. And I mean, with family, friends, I don't care who they are. Don't, don't, don't do that.

You know, it's interesting because I find myself, you know, I'm— they call me— I'm woke, right? That's the— that's the word for me now. I'm the woke guy, right? But I'm like, I love us so much.

What do you mean by woke?

Woke means— actually, in the church, um, we use the word revelation.

Okay.

In other words, God has pulled a curtain back and allowed me to see what y'all don't see.

Got you, got you.

So now they call it woke as opposed to being asleep, whereas woke means I see everything that you're doing to me and I react. But people who are asleep, they don't react because they like, oh, it's just the way the world is. So when you think about Malcolm X or Dr. King or those people who saw the ills of society, they were considered woke for their time. Like, people act like everybody loved Dr. King when he No, people hated him. He's like one of the most hated men in America.

Really?

When he died, they hated Dr. King. But when he died, he became a martyr and people loved him. But people forget, like, they wasn't trying to have a Martin Luther King holiday and all these different things. So for me, when I see how they treat us as a whole, how they take the worst examples of us and say, this is how all y'all act. Because I'm so-called woke, I get mad because now I am taking on the pain of a whole race of people, ancestors, that too. But taking on the— because I'm also realizing we are the answer prayer of the ancestors. But I'm learning, and especially right now listening to you, that I have to have boundaries for myself. Because walking around mad ain't gonna help.

It destroys you. It messes with your inner self. Yeah, it messes with your heart.

That's right.

Uh, your emotions, your, your health, period. It does. And I've learned that over the years, walking around mad, I I had to call AT&T yesterday because my internet went out. I think I mentioned that to you earlier. And when the lady first answered the phone, I wanted to get mad and I started off like, da da da da da. And I realized it's not your fault that my internet is out. So in return, she gave me 2 days of credit. Which was, it should have been. It wasn't like really gave me anything, but I thank you, Miss Lady. But I said that to say, walking around angry doesn't solve anything. She told me, she said, "You are such a nice person." And the only thing I can tell her was, you don't own AT&T, because if you did, you wouldn't be answering this phone.

Facts.

So, and you are not the reason that my internet went out. So I can't be mad at you, Miss Lady, because of my internet being out. So why? I can't be. I'm, I just, I, I'm just not mad.

But see, isn't that a growth thing though? It is, you know what I mean?

It is, it is, it is. It wasn't her fault.

So one of the reasons we talked about this a lot, I don't watch the news anymore. I might watch The View or something like that, but I really don't watch the news because I get mad. I get mad at the way they do us, the way they make excuses. If Obama was to do any of this stuff, you know what I'm saying, they would have crucified him.

We already know.

So, so I try not to watch it, but Listening to you, yeah, you're helping me because I'm realizing that I am you. Whereas I will take on what's going on in the TV, and then I'll leave them outside, and they don't have nothing to do with what's going on. They're not in politics, but somebody at the store say something crazy to me, and I'm automatically thinking that guy on CNN that was taking up for this person, that person. Now I'm mad. So I just evict myself. I get away from that type of stuff, right? Which hurts me too because I need to know what's going on. But I have to say, I'm learning to create that type of boundary because I find myself mad all the time. I used to watch the news all the time before I go to sleep and I wake up mad. And I'm like, well, why are you mad? Like, you was watching CNN before you went to bed.

That's not good.

Okay, okay, okay.

That's not good. That's not good. I've learned that. Well, I ain't gonna lie. I still sneak it in there.

I have, I have a, I have a question for you, and we're going to end this interview, but, uh, I, I had to ask you this. I, I, I know the answer, but I don't know the answer.

Okay, I hope I give—

Oh no, no, this is easy for you. The— I, I'll say the easiest question for you. How has your faith shaped everything you do?

Oh, because I know your mama shaped everything I do.

Or how has it shaped— however you want to answer it, how has your faith shaped you?

Thank you for that question, Ray, because, oh, it means everything to me. I was just listening the other night to, um, this young lady, I can't think of her name, um, Well, she mentioned something. I'm always asking for that suit of armor, you know, Lord, cover me up before I go out today. You know, dress me down in that armor, you know? But she said something the other night that really stuck out to me. She really did, Ray. She said, you can dress down in the armor in the breastplate, you can dress down in the shoes, you know, the piece or whatever, you can dress down in all that. But at the end of the day, the most important thing to put on before you walk out that door, and that is that shield. Shield of faith. That shield of faith.

Yes.

You know, that because, and she broke it down too, y'all. She said, just think about, you know, being on the battlefield. And you, you out there and you fighting, but they got shields and they throwing, they, I mean, darts and stuff. They don't, if you don't have that shield, they can still hit you with those darts and stuff. So, you know, you got to be, you know, you got to be, be ready. So if nothing else, faith. My faith has carried me. Oh my God, I rely on me.

Jesus.

I got to say it. You said, Mom, I know who you are.

You're right, I didn't know who I invited. Oh, I asked it. I wrote the question down, girl. That's, that's—

I depend. I'm totally dependent. You know how, like you were saying earlier, somebody depending on you, get tired of people depending on you all the time. Can you imagine? Okay, can you imagine somebody always depending on you? But there's one somebody you can depend on all the time and don't get get tired. Just keep leaning on the shoulder, girl. Just keep leaning on the shoulder, dude. He don't care. He don't get tired. So my faith have carried me to where I am right today.

Good Lord.

Um, some might not think I'm very far, but I like to think I am. I'm laughing. Whom— not just who I am, but whom I—

I'm laughing because when I wrote the question down, I said she gonna be surprised by that question.

I Yes, I am.

And I think, I think, and let me just say this on camera, um, we were raised— and my mama hate when I say this— uh-oh, we was raised Baptist, and then, uh-oh, my mama lost her job, we became Jehovah's Witnesses, so you have to celebrate no holidays. Then she got a good job, then we went back to being a Baptist. I'm just joking, I'm just joking. But the thing about it is, one thing that I was taught as a kid was to study, to show thyself approved. I was taught that. I remember the first time I spoke in church— people don't know this— I was 10, 11 years old. That was— we was in Whitefield Place when Miss Roberts used to come over, and that was the first time I spoke in church.

You did good, y'all.

And I ain't even—

great.

And when Miss Roberts come over, she's tripped out because she's like, man, this guy already knows the Bible. And I'm like, well, this is interesting because, you know, I've never seen this, you know. But we— my look— my book of Bible stories, I still have that book. We would go around and have that book. And my cousin Chico and my rest of it, uh, Glenn would always say, man, you, you was our first pastor. He was our first pastor. I'm gonna say, man, you talked about the— my daddy, he don't— we don't have too many conversations where he don't say, I remember as a kid used to make me pray.

You used to? Because he didn't— I mean, as an adult So that just goes to show, even as an adult, we don't always know.

But I got it from my mama.

We don't always know.

But I got it from my mama.

Thank you.

Mama, this—

I was told that if you can't give your kids nothing else, give them God. Okay. Okay. Give them God if you can't give them nothing else, because with him on your side, uh-huh, uh-huh, ooh, the things you can do in this life. And it'll bring you peace of mind. You know, it would actually bring you a peace of mind. Yeah. I was just looking at TikTok. Let me say this, because I was just looking at TikTok yesterday and this gentleman was on, I mean this young lady, and she was, she was really frustrated with God. She was, she was all out in it. She was like, ooh, she was in it. I know y'all say God is this and God. You were so frustrated with him because you're not allowing him in. I mean, other than how you get frustrated with God—

Lamentations. The book of Lamentations talks about a whole civilization of people who was frustrated with God. You've never heard nobody preach from that book, but it's in the Bible.

No, I never really— they don't, they, you know, they stay on service.

Yeah, it's all about— yeah, it's all about— because, because if we tell the truth, right, Job was frustrated with God, you know, for 38 chapters Job complained.

But aren't we going— I know the Old Testament, I know the Old Testament leads into the New Testament, but I, I just feel like the Old Testament, like Lamentations They was frustrated with God. Job was frustrated with God, but Job also realized, you know, hey, I'd rather be— how they put it? Tell me how that old saying go. I'd rather be where— ah, frustrated with God than without God.

Okay, okay.

I'd rather be, um, miserable. Okay, let me just say, just put it out there, miserable with God than without God.

Okay.

Um, so I mean, there's times I'm like, Lord, where are you? You know, I, I mean, really, I'm, I'm just really going through it. I mean, did you see me?

I'm gonna hit you with something. I'm gonna hit you with something.

Hit me.

And we're still recording.

Hit me.

Joshua. Because, you know, we, we disagree on that name, Jesus. Uh, yes, y'all, me and my mama disagree on certain things, but she taught me these things. She taught me, um But Yahshua— uh, Yahshua, however you want to pronounce it, Jesus— on the cross said, my God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me? It's a human thing.

It's okay to do it.

It's a human thing. He did not curse God as Job did not curse God to die, right? But the human part of him was like, bro, come on, where you at? I'm going through something. Even in the Garden of Gethsemane, the Bible says that he went through what they call human hemohidrosis, where he sweat blood.

Come on now.

And he said that an angel—

come on, Pastor—

came to minister to him, right? Why? Because he was weak. Even Jesus, on his way to the cross, there was a black man that helped him carry the cross, right? So I understand both sides of it because I myself have waved my fist at God and had to repent instantly, like, whoa, my bad. Because, you know, because life happens, and that's what Turning Corners is all about, because life happens, you know. But it doesn't mean I forgot who he was. Go ahead, go ahead.

I, I just— have you ever like—

oh, this is good.

You're having some good day, you wake up, you're on top of the world. Beyoncé says it better, and the day the world was on top of me. Yes.

Oh, I know that song. Go ahead. Go.

Uh, the day I woke up and I'm on top of the world, and then it's like, and then the world is on top of me. That's the day.

But he still loves me. I forgot that.

Some days are better than others, and, and come on, there's always a lesson to be learned.

Yes. Um, talk, girl.

If the sun is shining today You wake up tomorrow and it's raining. What? What?

Uh-huh.

What? You gonna curse God 'cause it's raining? Is that, I mean, is that what we do? And you right, you know, Lamentations, you talked about where, but I think that was designed to, to, how do I put this? Give us a lesson. To a degree, to show, because think about it, triumph and trouble, I think they both are one and the same.

Yes, ma'am.

You know what I mean? They both can be one. Today I'm down, but I'm up tomorrow.

Turning corners.

So, yeah.

You turning corners.

Yeah.

Because you're going— in order to turn a corner, that means that you was on one path and you had to make a turn. Now you could have turned— you could have turned left or right.

I love that.

But you still turn.

I love that.

And you know this because I got this awesome book called Under Construction: 7 Things You Need to Know to Build a Better You.

Love it.

Uh, but the thing about it is You don't know what's around the corner.

True.

But you still got to travel.

True.

And listening to your story today and listening to stories I already know, but now they know about whether your kids have to leave or you had dark moments, I wanna, I wanna end this with this particular story. Because it, to me, it wraps up the whole interview.

Okay. Okay.

I want you to look at the camera and talk about the man in the field. Oh, I want you to look at the camera and I want you to talk about— matter of fact, I want you to talk about the man in the field because I truly believe that there are times in our life where God will send somebody.

All the time.

I'm gonna shut up. I'm gonna let you tell your story.

He does. He does.

Because somebody needs to hear this. Somebody needs to hear this.

He does it all the time, y'all. That's why I say don't stop. Keep it moving. Don't curse him. Okay. Whatever you do, don't curse him.

Yes, ma'am. Um, and you know you don't have to say him. I know we know you're a Christian.

Okay.

You can, you can say the name if you want to say the name. I know you try to respect— Mama, be you. Okay. Your mama.

Um, Ray is referring to the time that, um, we was living in Houston. Um, we had no food to eat. I was working, but if anyone ever been in Houston, you guys know Houston is huge. Traffic is crazy. And I was way on the other side of town. Um. Trying to get back home because I had gotten off of work. I had no bus fare, so I'm headed home. I'm walking, um, because they at home hungry. I don't know what I'm gonna do when I get there besides go knock on doors again because hell, I didn't have nothing. Anyway, I recall, and this wasn't a dream— I had people try to tell me, oh, maybe you drank that. No, no, no, I didn't. And the reason why I say I didn't, because We have dreams, but day 1, day 2, day 3 pass, we tend to forget what we dreamt about.

Yes, ma'am.

2 or 3 days ago. So I know this wasn't a dream.

Come on now.

I'm headed home in the field. It's this gentleman, and by this time it started to mist. Little raindrops are falling. He's standing up against the passenger car. His car, his car on the passenger side with his arms folded. And I'm walking, I looked over, you know how you glance at someone? So I glanced at him. I think, oh, what in the hell are you doing right here in the field? You know? But anyway, he motioned for me to come here and I kind of looked at him like, no, I'm not going to do that because I don't know you. So I kept walking and I hadn't really passed him, but I was like getting up to his, you know, and he did it again. And I don't know what persuaded me to do that, but I did. I went to his car. This gentleman opened the door for me on the passenger side. He took me Angels are real, y'all. He took me to the— and I'm sure some of y'all didn't encounter angels. I think we do every day, we just don't take the moment to recognize it. But, uh, this angel was real obvious. I mean, he, he took me to the grocery store. How he knew I didn't have no food at home, I don't know. But he took me to the grocery store, y'all, and he bought groceries for me and my children. I remember that man driving me home and he got out the car, he packed my bags in, and that man turned right around and walked right back out the door. I never seen him again after that. I mean, I'm young, I didn't think nothing of it, but when I look back over my life, hello, then I know how far I come. And wait a minute, there's a story following this story. Okay. Because I was fed. This man took me to the grocery store. Y'all, did y'all hear me? Stay on that for a minute. A total stranger then took me to the grocery store, took me inside, bought some food. I mean, how he knew I had no food, I don't know. But long story short, a week or two later, I'm headed back home. My kids by this time is with my mother-in-law. Remind y'all, I said I stayed because I wanted to prove a point that I could do it, so I stayed. So I'm on the bus headed home from work. This gentleman, dirty looking, don't judge a book by the COVID Please don't do that. That taught me. That right there taught me. He was in the front row of the bus. And you know how back in those days you had to pull the string to get off the bus? Well, we was coming up, he stood up and he looked at me and he said, I mean, he turned around, "Ma'am, do you know where such, such park is?" And I told him, I said, "Oh, we coming up on that park." I said, "You might want to pull that string so you can get off because we're coming up on it." Before we can get to the park, Ray, I'll never forget as long as I live. Oh my God, when I think back, it always brings such joy. He said, "Oh, where you going?" I told him, I said, "I'm going home." Old dirty white man, y'all. It wasn't no black man. It wasn't one of us. And he said, um, well, can't I just go with you? And I turned around, look like, no, you can't go with me.

You better pull that straight, we get ready to come up on that park.

And then it clicked, it clicked in my, in my spirit. It's my spirit said Did I just feed you? Feed you? Did I just— a stranger just— that's when I really, really, really— I come to realization that, you know, it's not about me here on this earth. Yes, ma'am. Um, so I, I immediately told him, you know what, I said, you know what, sir, yeah, you can go with me, you can go home with me. And I took him home with me, y'all. I had no food. Hello, there we are again. No food. Ooh, she had a lot of days with no food. Yeah, I did. But I made it. Look at me now. Ooh, look what I'm eating. No, I'm kidding. But I took him home with me. All jokes aside, I made us a sandwich. I had just enough for a sandwich. I recall cutting that sandwich in half. No, I'm sorry, I take that back. I made him a sandwich, I made me a sandwich. And we sit there and we ate. And he laid on my couch and he slept for some hours after he'd eaten. And when he got up, he said, "Ma'am, do you have enough— do you have some bus fare where I can catch the bus?" I said, "I don't have a lot, but I have just enough for you to catch the bus." And I gave him the bus fare and he left. And I never saw him again, y'all. He never came back. But it taught me a lesson. It really did. It taught me a lesson. You can't judge the book by the COVID First of all, and then my grandmother always said that too, you never know who you entertaining. You never know who you entertaining. We tend to sneer our nose up at people that don't look like us or just ragly, they not dressed well, they not packing the right purse, they don't have on the right shoes. But we all been there. I haven't always had the right purse, the right shoes. Ooh, but look at me now, y'all.

No, I'm kidding. No, listen.

But, um, I love it.

I love it.

Just hang in there, y'all. Hang in there. You and you and you. It's going to get better. Better days coming. What else you want to know?

So, so, so what's interesting— no, we, we're finished. We're finished.

Okay.

What's funny is, y'all, what y'all don't know is my momma Did not. She'd be like, you want me to do what? I said, I want to talk to you. I mean, we have these conversations. I said, but I think somebody else needs to hear this. You're like, are you serious? And I must— I'm put this out here publicly. I doubt if I edit this out. She came in on 10, y'all, and I know she was nervous. I was just laughing to myself. I didn't know she was nervous.

I was like, okay.

And I'm over there laughing at you because I'm like, all right, I, you know, you know how you know your people.

Right?

Yeah. And she came in on 10, and I'm trying to get everything together and everything. And I said, I said, Mama, after the first 30 seconds, you're gonna forget that the camera's on. And I just wanted to say, Mama, thank you.

I appreciate you for having me, baby.

I appreciate you. Thank you for hanging out. Uh, we're gonna have some more conversation after the camera's off.

Thank you.

But, uh, thank you for having me. This is a a very special edition of Turning Corners where I get to have lunch with my mama. So thank y'all for watching. Make sure you subscribe, make sure that you share, and make sure that you like. I'm your boy Ray. Can't get right without the Lord. I holla. Life is too short, bitch. Now turn that corner. Real player, real player, dream chaser.