I Came to the Barbershop with the Tool | part 3

Life is too short, bitch. Now turn that corner, corner, corner. Real player, real player, dream chaser.

We setting records as a local artist. We are doing good, but now it's a whole different— it's a different ball game. You move to Houston, now you're regional. And my regional, by putting UGK on the record, went to international so quick. When I blinked my eyes, I didn't know what the hell was happening. When we did that song, UGK and me with Free, and he put that thing on 979, the box. Say, man, I had a mental breakdown. I was touring with UGK so much, I left the tour. Shit was going so fast, Ray. I wasn't ready for this. I'm used to San Antonio local artists. Look, seeing, hey, I'm in HEB signing autographs. I enjoyed that moment, Ray. But when I got up there and did that song with UGK, this shit feel like a job now. Now I gotta chase this shit. It started getting unreal, brother. I didn't want to be an artist no more.

Wow.

I quit, Ray. I quit. You know, the day I quit, and I knew I was gonna quit, that day Scarface did a beat for me that nobody never knows. It's called Danger. When I'm rapping fast on Who Got Your Back, Scarface made that beat. When that man sat in my session and told me he was the coldest thing I ever heard, I was done. Dream fulfilled, brother. I don't have to sell another fucking record. My idol told me I was cold. I'm done, bro. I knew I was done then. That was 1998 when I walked out of that studio. I'm done, bro. What else is there to accomplish besides getting some money? What love? What any artist have told that Scarface has told that can sit here on this camera and tell you the same thing? I hope Scarface hear me because he knows what he told me. I sat in his session with him and Beto One. My manager can tell you the same thing because when I left that room and got in that car, you know what my manager Sugar Bear asked me? What the fuck did Face just tell you? What'd he talk about with you? I said, nigga, you're in the same room with me. I heard the same thing you heard. So I left out the room, you know. I get emotional, man. My idol told me I'm cold. I go in the corner and go cry somewhere. This nigga say, man, he just offered $250,000 a year for you. A part of me wanted to go back door and say, Face, I take that money. But a part of me said, nah, man. These niggas have been treating me for 3 years because I was on Boulevard for 3 years. These been my brothers. They care about me. I'm finna get washed up through the wringer over here. And I didn't take the deal. He'll tell you that. Face offered it. I didn't take it. I came back home. Said fuck everything. Left the house in Houston. Everything came home. Start working at Subway. Sandwiches. Making sandwiches. Can you sign that wrapper for me? I look up. Oh, you Lil Cyn, right? Embarrassed like a motherfucker. I signed it though. Ray said, what the fuck?

No, no, no, no, no, no. What you're saying is—

I quit, Ray. That's what happened.

I quit.

Quit. Quit.

What was it? Was it the, the pressure of being an artist? Was it a pressure of home life? Was it the fear? Was it—

Never scared. Never scared, brother. I knew I was cold. I wasn't scared of no artist, bro. Not even Tupac if he was living. I studied so much, I knew I can get him. It was, uh, I couldn't take care of people no more. Frustrated by Death, whole family going on tour with me. Renting rooms, everybody having fun, renting vehicles. Uh, when I quit, everybody thought I was on drugs and shit. You know what I mean? Uh, now you keep it on, bro. Everybody thought I was fucked up, man. It wasn't nothing but depression.

You know what, I, I gotta ask because we, we talked about how you went through frustrated by death.

Yeah.

And what that really means. Yeah. I was frustrated by cancer, all the people were dying.

Oh yeah.

All the people who were leaving. Now you got this success, but you have not quite dealt with depression. You have not taken a break.

There you go.

To deal with—

There you go.

All this pain.

Yeah.

You poured it into your music. You, you kept pouring it until Now it's here.

Yeah.

You got, um, Pimp C, UGK, Scarface. You got all these people believing in you.

Yeah, yeah.

Your talent is right. Someone said Mary J. Blige had a good album since she had a breakup.

Ah.

Because that No More Drama album is probably one of her best albums, but she said she was going through a whole lot.

Yeah.

And I hear people who's going through things talk about how dope they were because they was going through stuff. Now here you are, a young man, you lost dad, you lost parents, I mean, uh, you know, people you love, people you love, right? But success is here, the weight of being Lil' Sin is here. But yet you find solace at Subway.

Yeah.

You find peace at, let me get the fuck away from the stage.

Yeah. Yeah, you got— you on point.

How, how do you— how do you, first of all, deal with your words, not mine, the embarrassment of, hit that little sand right there, say a little sand leaning more mayonnaise. Put a little bit more mayonnaise. I think I said some pickles.

Yeah, man.

How do you deal with that? Because at one end you're at peace because you don't have this pressure no more, but then I got all these people talking shit saying that, oh, he must be on drugs, he lost his mind, all these. How do you balance that? Because that's a lot, bro.

Depression was going deeper.

So it wasn't no healing going on at the time?

What I thought was gonna heal me was depressing me even More because of those things that you're saying. Hey, man, what you doing in Subway? What happened? What did it say, man? I was just bumping you when I pulled up. Yeah, you know what I mean? I'm hearing all that, bro. So it's like me trying to get away from the industry to try to become Ronald Warner Pee Wee again is depressing me even more. 'Cause why? My name was still lingering out there.

Lingering? No, no, no, no, I can't, I can't let you say that, nigga.

You was on fire. Yeah.

Wasn't lingering because this is before Living in Sin.

Yeah, it is before that.

So it ain't lingering.

And, and all, everything was on me, Ray. It, it wasn't nobody but me denying myself.

This, this is big.

I'm denying myself at the time. Yeah, I got labels calling me, I got features calling me.

Fuck them. How is Boulevard Records taking this?

Well, Boulevard Records is shut down at the time. They just shut down, you know, me going through what I'm going through. They just, hey man, we wasted all— I ain't gonna say wasted this money, but that man invested a lot of money on me and 639 Dory. Yeah, that, that's that what you saw.

Okay.

I got hundreds of thousands of dollars in me. I remember that. I remember that. And why the fuck did you leave the tour? I remember when I left the tour.

We're looking out the window because, because I'm like, well, do I need to go out there and handle— but they had legitimate beef.

They had legitimate beef. They had every reason to be mad at me. They had every reason to do anything to me they wanted to do.

Okay.

I fucked off a lot of that money, bro. Okay.

Because I recall situations.

Yeah, that situation is on point that you recall.

Okay.

We're all still living. We all got over it now.

Yeah.

But bro, I walked out on them, man, on tour. But you hear me saying—

Yeah, I got you, I got you.

We were deeply invested in that album and a tour. I fucking walked off.

So, so your, your people that you was able to come in contact with, from, you know, UGK to Scarface, are any of these people reaching out to you like saying, you good? Are you all right? Like, what, what's, what's going on? Can we do anything? Because I know, I, I know they, they going through their own stuff.

Yeah.

They're living their own life. They got families. They still trying to But, but I know y'all developed some type of friendship, kinship, family. Yeah, brotherhood.

The first people to reach out to me when I got there— this is before I even came back to move back to San Antonio, Texas— there's a group that stayed across the street from me, Concentration Camp, C-Loc. Inside this camp, I'm gonna name some familiar names. Young Bleed, that was my good friend across the street. Uh, C-Lope was the head of Concentration Camp. Uh, at the time, Boosie was a little kid sitting in the corner watching us. Badass Boosie.

Really?

Yeah, he's across the street from me, inside of a house with, uh, Bossolini, Max Manili— shout out to them— J-Von, Happy Perez. If you hear that name, he's done songs for Chris— the producer done songs for Christina Aguilera. He was SPM's producer. Oh man, he's done big platinum things. If you ever hear Happy Perez, look him up. He stayed right across the street from me when I was in Mo City. These, these are big-time multi-platinum producers now, you know, people that have big careers. Y'all know Boosie, where his career went.

Yeah, yeah.

Rest in peace, Young Bleed. That was my boy. We sit there, smoke every day, listen to beats every day. He had got a check from Master P and showed it to me. Boy, he went back home. I ain't see Young Bleed again. I'm just gonna say that check was 6 figures. I saw that check with my eyes when he got it in his hand. I'm probably the first person he showed it to. Damn. Nah, man, I've been through some stuff, bro. Uh, great career, man, but yeah, it's been real, right?

So, so let's, let's go. Living in Sin, 2000.

Uh-oh. 2000 now.

Living in San 2000. I want to talk about this moment for me and how it affected me. We're sitting in the barbershop on Callahan Road. Um, I'm in the room, Lil San come in. What's up, kinfolk? We talking, we talking. We cutting hair, I'm cutting your hair, and Gospel Gangsters come on.

I remember that.

And you had a different look on your face. I'm edging you up, I'm like, bro, what's going on? And you said, bro, that's, that's, that's gospel rap. I said, yeah, dog, it's gospel rap. He said, they got gospel rap? I said, yeah, bro. And he was like, okay, and you got quiet. You didn't say anything. 2 days later, 48 hours later, you said, I want, I want you to hear something and I want you on it.

I remember that.

I said, you want what? Want me on what? I, I wasn't doing comedy. I was a young preacher less than 2 years into the ministry. He said, I want, I want you on it. Lord, lift me higher.

Yeah, man.

How long will it be for the Lord coming? Lord, can you lift me higher?

I can tell we in hell because we are in the field of fire and we are some liars. Tell me, how long would it be before the Lord comes here and reach me?

I was like, you want me to do what? So I called my pastor. Called my pastor, Reverend McIntyre, who's sleeping with the ancestors. Bishop McIntyre. I said, there's this guy by the name of Lil' Sin. He said, what? He said, what? I said, he want me to do a track with him. I didn't even know what track was, but I sound like a rapper.

Yeah.

Mhm.

Got it.

He said, what's his name again? I said, Lil Sin. He said, who? I said, Lil Sin. He said, not a lot of sin, a little sin.

Just a little bit.

Just, just a little bit.

Just a little bit.

I said, he want me to do a track. He said, well, son, what you gonna do? I said, well, I want to do it because this is somebody I look up to. This is somebody— he's all right, go do it. Shout out to Bishop K.W. McIntyre.

Man.

Who's now sleeping with the ancestors.

Man. Amen.

I went to the studio off of WW White Road.

Ooh, we skipped.

Okay. Off of WW White Road. I walked in to a whole bunch of aroma.

We getting blowed up in that bar.

I'm a young preacher, less than 2 years in the ministry. May have preached twice.

Ooh-wee!

Walked in with a big old Bible. Now you don't know this, but I know this. I took the biggest Bible I had because I wanted y'all to know I am not a sinner. I am now Reverend Sorrell. Youth minister at Greater Good News Missionary Baptist Church, where the pastor is Kenneth W. McIntyre. They always got to have an issue somewhere in there with Kenneth W. McIntyre, who has given me this blessing. I got to give him his credit for that. I walk in, I said, what do you want me to say? You said, it don't matter, say something. I was like, I'm not a rapper. You said, you said, I just need— this is what you said— I need the word in this. I listened to the song.

I did.

And as I'm listening to it, I want to say inspiration, but I'm lying. I only knew like 3 verses, 3 scriptures. That's all I knew. I can lie to you if you want me to.

Yes, sir.

I didn't know the word. I didn't know nothing. I knew what I was gonna preach. I wasn't no Astute theologian, I said, "Well, I know this scripture right here. Who should separate us from the love of God, man? Should." And I started going. Now, this is something that has stayed with me that you may not know.

What's that?

Oh man! That was the start of Can Get Right Ministries. Something that's still going today, even with turning corners.

Wow.

The look, wow! The look of those guys' faces. The look of young cats that look like me. Oh, he got the word out. Man, I remember putting blunts out.

I remember, man.

They put blunts out. Don't make me start.

No, man, that's real. It's real talk.

I remember I opened up the Bible and I said, who should separate us from the love of Christ? Should this, this, this, this, this? For as the dead— and I'm going, I'm reading. Yes, I did it 3 times. You, you said, don't worry about it, do it again. I'm like, well, I'm sorry I keep messing up, I'm nervous, dude.

Man, wow.

I saw the look on their faces. They looked like me. I'm an ex-Roller 60 Crip. I'm an ex-everything from the Glen, Nigga Street, selling dope, Austin. I'm all these, all this fighting, doing all this. It wasn't no Reverend Sorrell, it was Ray. And I was like, how is that they're listening to me? Because of him, after I laid my tracks— want to sound like a rapper now, right?

After I laid my tracks, ad-libs and everything. Nah, go ahead.

Ad-libs, everything, right? I walked out of the booth. The look on their faces I'll never forget. They patted me on the back. They said, thank you. I walked outside, got in my Saturn that the repo men were looking for.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

A '96 red Saturn. It had the neon. Yeah, it had the red neon.

They were looking for mobile cars.

Man, drove home crying.

Wow. Now this part I don't know.

Scott, what you doing? 2 years ago, I'm selling dope. I'm this, this, this. What you doing? You started this. You started me and Glenn being the street team, going around the city hanging up flyers and posters on telephone poles.

Yeah, I had them everywhere.

Because I remember one guy told me, he said, say, bro, he said, why don't y'all just— he ain't gonna know if y'all gave him away or not. I said, no, that's not what we do. We everywhere. Glenn was like, hey, ready to hit the West Side?

Every—

oh, I miss my brother, man.

Man, every side.

Let's hit— let's hear— let's go here, let's go here. Oh, they already got this wall, this And we everywhere. It was a couple times police stopped us. What y'all doing? Hey, my cousin Lil C, he, he said, hey man, just be careful. White cop on the West Side. We all off Acme Road, West Avenue. I mean, we're all over the city.

Man.

What's, what's crazy about this, and this is something that you need to know, We don't know the fires that our spark is going to inflame. We don't know how many people are staying warm because of the fire that you started. Because I always say trailblazers smell like smoke.

Yeah, I love that phrase from you.

And people don't understand what that means. It means because you are the one that burnt through. You're the one that had to go through depression. You're the one that had to leave your kids and your woman and, and this. And yes, I'm dealing with this. I haven't had time to grieve. These people are mad at me. I don't really know why they mad, but I think I know why they mad. All these things are going on. I could have lost my life.

Mhm.

Then you Come and contact this, this guy who has passed on.

Yeah, yeah.

And this time we're your security, me and Glenn.

Yeah, this is the Living in Sin album.

This is the Living in Sin album.

The other one was My Secret.

My Secret. I'm sorry, I'm jumping around, I'm jumping around.

Good, baby, you're good, man. We good. But this is Living in Sin now.

This guy, we're not gonna say no name unless that's what you choose to do.

The only thing I know is his first name, and I don't mind saying it. Derek. Okay, okay, okay.

Seems to be a little shiesty, a little bit. He was shiesty with me as his barber. Um, I recall an incident cutting Derek's hair. You only know Derek is there because you called me and asked me.

Uh-oh.

So I'm a snitch. I didn't even know what was going on.

I appreciate that, that day too.

You come into the shop on Austin Highway, and I say these things because I want people to know These are some real shit. This ain't no fake shit.

Yeah.

Because people only know Reverend Sorrell. They only know the comedian. They don't know the other side.

Yes, sir.

When you walked in with some sweats. Goddamn it, Ray. Brother come in with the worst outfit on to hide a weapon.

Ooh, I had to put my uniform on.

This nigga come to run after he commit what he about to do. I ain't lying, I ain't lying.

Nah, it's straight truth here, man.

The pistol is very obvious. Y'all hear me? The, the weapon is very obvious. Everybody in the shop knows Warned that this is a little sin. So whatever you do, you ain't gonna get away. You are frustrated by death. You are, I want to be free. You are a little sin.

You—

I am saving a loudmouth guy who talk a lot of shit.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Who I almost had to whoop his ass because you didn't want to pay me and Glenn for doing security for the concert y'all did with Big Mo, Lil Mo.

Uh, Big Mouth.

Big Mouth.

Okay, Club Rhythm.

Okay, we're gonna whoop your ass, then you want to write us a check? Nigga, we don't take checks, nigga. We drug dealers, nigga. We don't take no fucking check from the streets. We from the fucking— and bitch, and it's Saturday. I can't cash this check till Monday. I'm just— I'm keeping it buck, right? You said we could tell the truth, right? Yeah, we could tell This nigga come in, pistol just in his— just shaking. Understand, I know there's somebody at home waiting on some money. I know Scooter. I know all this shit is going on.

Yeah, man, pressure.

Because, you know, that's my baby and we talking. I'm like, uh, I'm on your side, girl, but I understand his side too. Whatever, whatever. Oh man, this dream chase shit is hard.

It's hard.

But this motherfucker coming in. Now, now I want y'all to understand the scene. I am shaving the guy in the back of the shop. There's Glen's chair, he has the last chair. I'm the second to the last chair. The guy's laid back with a towel over his face, shaving cream all on him.

Mm-hmm.

Little C comes up as I am taking the towel off and raising the guy up. The first person he sees, and listen, oh shit, 'cause he know that's some money. He owe you some goddamn money.

He owe me some bread.

And when I say he came to collect, yeah, this motherfucker talk so fast I ain't even finish the shave, y'all.

He—

half the side of his face was shaven, other side was still full. Y'all ain't listen to me. Yeah, this nigga came in that shop that day.

I come for my money, man. I come for my money. I, I look— I can talk about that now, Ray, uh, not because the man's gone. If he was here, I would still talk about it because even me and him patched things up before he passed away. Yeah. Uh, the reason I was in that shop is that, uh, I agreed to a deal, and this is a silly-ass deal because I'm hurting. I agreed to sell that album to Derek for $15,000.

Wow.

He paid me $7,500 up front. That's how we got out of Spring Hill to the Enclave.

Wow.

With Derek's down payment. So when you see me at the shop, I'm done with the album. Nobody expected me to record that whole album in two weeks. I need bread. I'm broke. I'm in Spring Hill.

Life is too short. Now turn that corner. Real player.

Real player.

Dream chaser.