Juan Villareal: Just Be Yourself | TURNING CORNERS With RAY CANTGETRIGHT

Thing about being the Trailblazer, you gonna smell like smoke.

Going city to city, we turning corners. When you with Trailblazers smelling like smoke, pay attention to they jokes. Success tried to warn us. Motivation conversation captivating the coach. Performing arts, it's the heart, so we gotta watch the road. All my dreams out of mind, out of sight. They standing on my left 'cause they can't get right. You know what make 'em wonder every time I turn the corner.

My brother, my brother, I am excited. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. Mr. Juan, you, you are a legend, legend, legend. I hate when people say he's one of the funniest Latin Comics. No, you are one of the funniest comics I've ever seen, hands down, bro.

Thank you.

How you doing? Welcome to Turning Corners, bro.

Man, thank you, bro. And thank you for saying it like that, dude, because like some people be like, hey man, you know, you're like the funniest Latino in Houston, you're like the king of Houston. And I'm like, well, I just went to LA and did a competition. I came in second of the Latino comedy competition.

So they just tried to like Well, it is funny because women don't like you saying, oh, you're a good woman comic.

Like, yeah, no, like, you are a comic, you're a comedian. I'm a comedian.

That's, that's— I don't, I don't, I don't like people.

And then just, uh, I don't know, just to throw it out there, uh, I went to the Bay Area Black Comedy Competition to go hang out, support some of my people. They saw me like, why you wanna go up? I'm like, all right. And then I got past the next round, and then the next round, and then the final 6, and I came in second.

You know what, okay, and this is the thing about it. This comedy thing is so, so crazy, right? Oh my God, it is so crazy. You've been doing this for over 30 years, bro.

Yeah, it'd be 34 in March.

34 in March. Yeah. What is your secret to longevity of doing this? And we're gonna get to the interview, but I'm just amazed because sometimes I'll be like, man, I don't want to do this no more. This is Yeah, the behind-the-scenes stuff just makes you not want to do it.

Yeah, I've been there. I've been there. Like, I'm almost done. I'm about to retire, bro.

Like, nah, I doubt it. Any place you go, they gonna ask you to come up.

I'll do some events, select the shows, but like, that's the thing. People don't know when to retire. Comics, they want to do this forever. Today they're like, nah bro, this is like a job. It's fun, but this is work. And yeah, 35 years, I'll be 60. I'll have a few mil, I'll have a few mil put up and I'll just do nothing.

Wait a minute, hold on. So what would— I mean, okay, I understand not the stage, but would you promote? Would you do hosting? Would you do behind the scenes, write movies? Because I can't see, man, bro.

I'm gonna delete my social media. Like, when I retire, I'm gonna retire, bro. Like, you ain't gonna know. Like, I mean, every now and then you'll see somebody take a picture with me or something, but like, really, like, I'm, I'm tired, bro. I've been doing this. Yeah, like a lot.

Yeah.

When I first started, like, you know, my manager Vance Bradford, he was— he's Black. He was Black. So he Like, I was doing Latino rooms, mainstream rooms, and then Black rooms, and it was like— so I was doing 8, 9 shows a night sometimes.

Oh wow.

Yo, yeah, one time I did like 12. The last spot was, uh, I think it was in the Bronx. I think it was in the Bronx, and it was like at 3 o'clock in the morning. They're like, yeah, they want you to go up like at 3:20, like, in the morning. That's what I said, in the morning. It was— yeah. They said it's sold out. So they do this all the time, like, for real. I was single back then. I had gotten divorced. I was single. So I was like, that's the thing about being comedy. Come on now, you're single, you can just— yeah, you want to go? Let's go. And we went, and it was a pizza place, a square pizza place with a line outside, see-through windows, had speakers outside, and they had a table. They had a table in the middle of the pizza place, just a table, a chair to get on the table, and a mic stand and a microphone.

Are you serious?

Yeah. And they wanted me to do like 15 minutes, but I did like 40, 45. I couldn't, I couldn't get up. They didn't want me to get off.

I mean, but that's not— that's just, first of all, that's a strange room to be in. Oh, you know what I'm saying?

Yeah.

God dang. So let me just ask you, so where are you from? Where are you?

I'm from Houston, Houston, Texas.

Wow. Yeah. And doing comedy in Houston, first of all, what, what was your first time on stage? What made you like say, you know what, I'm gonna do this thing, let me jump on stage, man?

See, there's always a backstory. I was working security at, you know, at little bars and stuff like that for mostly like, I guess, illegal undocumented people because like the owner didn't want to call the cops or anything. They're like, you gotta fight, man, whatever. So You know, you fighting this, and I did that for, for a few years. Get into it, you know what I mean? Like, I was working out, I was kicking, I was doing all the stuff, whatever, to stay healthy and strong and fight. Because I got beat up a bunch of times. I won a bunch of them, but I got beat up. But what do you call it? So, you know, you learn.

Yeah, I'm laughing because most people lie. They'd be like, I won every fight.

Like, oh no, I lost at least— like, I told people I had about 500 fights. I lost like 200.

Are you serious?

Yeah. And then because I learned, you know, martial arts, I could do all that stuff. My— I was training some of my security security guard coworkers, and some of them got it and they were learning and it was fun. But when they would see me get beat up, instead of helping me, these fuckers would be standing there, 'Kick him, Bruce Lee! Do that! Get him!' Wow. And the 3 little dudes, just— I'm like, 'Help me!' Fuck it, they're just stomping on me and stuff. Like, and I had a gun, I was commissioned, but you know, you ain't trying to kill nobody. Yeah, it's just an ass whooping. They never tried to grab the gun or nothing. It was just like—

so how old— I'm sorry, this is crazy.

Okay. Yeah.

So how long did you do security there?

For about almost 4 years.

4 years?

Yeah.

And then that made you say, well, let me jump on stage because it might be a little bit safer?

Oh no, I wanted to be a detective, man. I wanted to be a cop. I was— I did ride-alongs. I did, uh— wow. I did some big arrests. I went to court, testified against people sometimes, and you know what I mean? So like, I wanted to be— I have cousins in law enforcement, Secret Service and Homeland Security and detectives, and I wanted to be the cop. I wanted to be—

well, hold on, so you go from security guard wanting to be a cop.

Yeah.

What, what got you into comedy then? Because that's far from, you know what I'm saying, broke.

Security don't pay that much. We were broke. Okay, we're praying. They cut our water off, they cut our gas off, our lights. We were like— I had 3 little boys. I have 4 at that— I'm Ferdinand. I have 4. And, uh, my cousin came over and said, hey man, like at 10 in the morning, goes, hey cuz, I got a car, can I put it in your garage? I'll give you $500, man, just hide it. And I'm like, well, you stole it. He's like, yeah, put put it in the lot. He goes, a wrecker's gonna come by at 7 in the morning and pick it up. I'm like, okay, I'll give you $500. I'm like, okay. So he put it in and gave me $500 bucks. And bro, like, when you're poor, hungry, you think that's a blessing from God. We said, oh, thank you, God. We went to pay the gas, light, water. They went that same day, got it on. We went shopping, grocery shopping. We went to Blockbuster, got some movies, man. We had a great night. And then in the morning, Juan, police! Like, oh man, what happened?

Now you're in possession of a stolen—

Yeah, my neighbor called Crime Stoppers on me. They gave him $80.

Come on, man.

Yeah, he was all, man, I'm sorry, dude.

Are you serious?

Yeah, yeah, he was an 18-year-old kid. He wanted the rims. I told him no.

So he said—

I said, now come on, man, let me have the rims, dude. Nah, fuck her, they're gonna come pick it up, leave it alone. And, uh, he got mad and called Crime Stoppers on me.

Damn.

Yeah.

Okay, okay. How did you get to the stage then?

I got out of jail. I was gonna lose my commission.

So you went to jail for that?

Yeah, you know that. Yeah, the cops came in.

But what about the dude that gave you $500? Oh no. Oh yeah, yeah, never mind, never mind. That's a whole nother story.

Yeah, the, the police report I put, I stole the car, I did this. I mean, because I wasn't going to—

right, snitches get stitches.

I got you. Yeah, well, it wasn't even about that. That's where snitching came out, is because people couldn't handle their own heat. Like, I grew up around people, like, we get caught with weed, the cop be like, who is it? Whose bud is this? And you didn't have to tell. One dude would be like, it's mine. I remember my cousins, their brothers, the big brother goes, that's mine. The little brother goes, nah, bro, I did this, that's mine, sir. He goes, you gonna take the— he goes, no, that's mine.

That was a long time ago.

Yeah, and that's, that's the way it was.

Yeah.

And, and you, you wouldn't want your friends to go to jail for something you had. Yeah, it just didn't work like that. My buddy got caught with a gun and they were going to take— like, no, that's mine, I got that from my mom. Knows about that. Like, I— that's my gun. So, and so they let us go.

That's a long time ago.

Yeah, bro, because now it's like, yeah, oh, you want to be thug, you want to be gangster, you fuck up, now you want your homeboy to go to jail. And some of these homeboys do it.

Like, all right, I know a lot of people that, yeah, they'll snitch on the Kool-Aid lady if they can.

Yeah, that's why I had to stay away from a lot of people. I'm like, hey bro, like, if you can take your own heat, like Don't be around me thinking you can do shit and I'm gonna get in trouble for you. But you know what, I will tell on you.

So we was talking before, you know, we started recording. Yeah, about how you just— it seemed like you just get along with everybody, right? But it's— you're a solid dude, and when you're a solid dude, it just seems like the energy just pushes off, you know what I'm saying? Like, people just automatically like you, right?

Right?

Is that from your upbringing, or that's just who you are as a human being? Is this like a spiritual thing, religious thing, or you just a solid dude?

You know, when I was young, we moved a lot, a lot. I went to 17 schools, so I didn't have a chance to graduate. That's why I joined the Army. So it was like, at 17, I quit school, I joined the Army, because, man, I went— we were living in— and then sometimes, you know, my parents were divorced. Yeah, and this is the '70s, so sometimes people have phones, sometimes they didn't. So I wouldn't see my mom for a few months, or my dad for a few months. We'd be on my uncle's, at a friend's house, here, there. Like, we would do a whole lot of that stuff. So, and then sometimes we got lucky and stayed with some rich people, you know, good family, good manners. So I guess It made me lucky because I learned different people's morals and scruples, like what they value, what they don't value, what I mean, like that's important, that's not. So that's what I tell people, like that's, that's the only thing I can think of. I lived around poor people, homeless people, rich people, and, and, and Black people, white people, Mexicans, Asians, and, and it's like we all want the same thing, bro.

Like, but, but it seems like you, you, you Okay, yeah, I, I've interviewed some, some comedians that's doing their thing. Yeah, but I've been— this is some videos that's just coming up and it seemed like some people— I'm not even say just the interviews, but there are some people that haven't really done some of the things you've done. Yeah, but yet they kind of act like they up here, and then here you are, you've done BET, you've been around Jamie Foxx and Cedric Entertainer. I saw one interview where you talking about Tupac, and I'm like, you fucking lying.

Love me, bro.

Bruh, how the hell do you stay this humble? That's Tupac. Like, oh, that's like the greatest rapper. I'm sorry, now I'm fanning out like a little girl.

No, no, I think so.

But, but you, you was around Tupac?

Yeah, he came up to me. He ran up to me because, you know, him and Eddie were real cool. Eddie Griffin. So, and me, and then me and Eddie were real cool.

Eddie Griffin?

Yeah. So me and Eddie, you know, I'm like, Eddie, how much time you gonna do? About 2 hours. All right, let me go up before you, man. So I would go up before Eddie, and then Eddie would go up there, do 2, 3 hours sometimes, right? Hold on, so hold on, hold on, hold on.

You just, you just—

I would leave, I would leave The Comedy Store, go do a show at The Laugh Factory, hang out with some comics, kick it. Eat a burger and then go back to the Comedy Store. Eddie still be on stage. People didn't leave.

Oh my God, dude, do you understand how I'm right there with Paul Mooney?

Uh, everybody's around me. Arsenio, uh, Martin, uh, Chris Rock, Chris Tucker, everybody's right there. We're just laughing. He's still on stage. Andrew Dice Clay, is he gonna get off stage? Like, it was just I went straight from the hood because you said, how did it start? Yeah, after that car, it was— I was done. I was like, damn, what am I gonna do? And me and my ex-wife, we argued a little bit. Like, what's gonna happen? You have to get a job now, just whatever. I was like, man. And I went to the garage and there was a little piece of joint that fell down. And back then I would buy a nickel or dime. I would never lose— I knew where all my little roaches were. And out of nowhere, it was getting cloudy, it was gonna rain, and the little roach fell. It landed on the floor. I'm like I thought it was a cigarette, like, oh! So I was in there kind of crying at first, kind of like, you know what I mean, not crying, but just like— and I saw that, I started smoking it, and it got windy, and then the paper started flying around, and the newspaper landed in front of me. The Green Sheet, it's free, so they were all over the place. And then it's like the wind blew and a page turned, and it said, be a star, open mic, amateur comedians wanted, this and that. And I was like, man, I could do comedy because when I worked security, I handled a lot of people with like, hey man, hey bro, okay, okay, wait, you're gonna stab him and then what are you gonna do? You're gonna run, go to jail, like, so how do you win in this?

No way.

Yeah, you're right. Like, I would— so my security guard partner, he's the one who said, man, you're funny, bro. 'Now you're making people laugh and this and that.' I'm like, 'Yeah,' because you get tired of hitting people and fighting. Like, I mean, I did it for 3 years, but I did it every day. I trained, so I was really good at it. So I was like, 'Like, bro, I get paid to do this.' And you—

the—

so when I went to LA, that's— I wasn't afraid to get on stage. It was like— because it happened in 9 months. Like, I did— I started—

no, bro, come on.

I started in '92 in March, and then, uh, in October I was filming BET. And then the next one I did HBO. So I was sitting on food stands, broke, everything. And I'm at the Comedy Store and Martin, Eddie Murphy, they all loving me. Like, it was so cool. And I was like, what's up, fuckers? Like, I wanted to ask for autograph. And Carlos Mencia was like, bro, bro, you don't do that. Yo, Carlos. Carlos is the one that took me and picked me up at the bus station. And when I did BET, he picked me up and he's like, you good? 'Cause I took the bus. I'm like, yeah, man, I'm excited. He goes, hey bro, just out of curiosity, what are you gonna wear tonight? He's like, uh, let me hook you up. I got a cool shirt, you know, I'm sponsored by Reebok. I'm like, okay. So my first gear on BET was Carlos Mencia. He got it for me.

So that's crazy. Yeah, you already had a relationship with him, or—

yeah, I met him at the Hip Hop Comedy Stop. Okay, yeah, Rashawn booked him there, bro.

Do you understand?

Maybe—

I mean, maybe— do you not understand how big that is from 9 months to be on BET?

Oh my God, bro. Yeah, because I'm still having problems with the lights, I'm pondering stuff, whatever, and then I'm hanging out with, you know what I mean, with Eddie Griffin and all these dudes, and they got some good bud, and I'm eating wings. You want your wings? I'll eat them. Fucking shit up, dog. And then I would come back to the hood to hang out with the same dudes, right? Like, I owe the weed man $10, but I'm like, hey man, so I'm telling the story that I'm hanging out with Andrew Dice Clay. I was gonna hit him. I didn't know they were playing a joke, so I almost punched Andrew Dice Clay for real. Nah, yeah, bro. Then Martin was there, like Eddie Murphy. Eddie Murphy saw me, goes, come here, man, you funny, man.

So stop, hold on, hold on.

So all of this is going on, my friends are like, nah, nah, I didn't even believe it. Like, bro, I don't even believe it. Can you believe that shit, bro? I'm gonna make it. I think I'm gonna make it, man. They think I'm funny.

You think you gonna make it?

That what I said.

I think you around Eddie Murphy, bro.

I was on, on tour with Chucky Ducky and bro, man, after that BET thing, and I was still filling out applications. I was getting calls from everybody, HBO, think— I didn't think I was do comedy. I wanted to be a cop. I wanted to find me a judge that was gonna pardon me. And I was 25. I was 25. I'm like, okay, by the time I'm, I'm 30, I can get all that expunged, pardon, and I mean do something good and, and be a detective. That's what I wanted to do, man.

Okay, okay.

But comedy got in the way.

Like, so, so a lot of us, they say it takes 10,000 hours, right, of doing your craft in order for you to find your voice. It don't seem like that was 10,000 hours, man.

Bro, I've never written down the joke. I just tell stories. That's why people like, like, you mean there's great storyteller Ali Sadiq? Yeah, love him. But like, when I first saw him working, he was telling stories and just joking. And I told him he used to do a joke about killing a dog. Okay, and it was funny. It was funny, man. So he was telling stories of going— so I don't want to— I don't know, he— I know he don't do that joke no more, but he was doing that joke. Yeah, it was '99, 2000, and I said, man, that's what you do, man. You tell stories, that's badass, and this and that, whatever. He was just like, man, dude, I'm a fan of yours. It's that— so he was real cool, man.

Rug.

Yeah. Okay, it never hit me because I stayed around people that kept my ass humble, and I never did— I never did the Hollywood life. I never did the, uh— yeah, yeah, I was too humble, and I think that might have hurt me a little bit.

Why, why, why, why, why would it hurt you?

Because Like, when I would go to the clubs, we perform— like, it would be like me, DL, Cedric, and Eddie or somebody. And then when we get a— we'll get an appearance fee. So, you know, it's $3,000 to $5,000 just to show up at a club. So they would have us like behind this rope behind the velvet rope. And I would tell D, man, D.L., like, man, D, I don't like this. He said, what do you mean? He goes, I don't like this behind the rope.

Because you're kind of separated from everybody else.

Everybody's just looking at us like we're exhibits or something.

Like y'all some fish.

Man, he said, what'd you want to do? I don't want to dance with them. Because it was, you know, girls, and I was single at the time. I was 30 years old. Yeah, for everyone. So they would let me do that, and then that was cool with everybody. I'd give them my number and this and that, whatever. And I think that, that took away some of the—

gotcha. Yeah, like, well, and that's what I'm like.

People call me on Messenger sometimes, they'll have a number and I'll call them and like, man, this ain't you. Yeah, this fucker, this is me.

Listen, and see, you saying that, I'm thinking about what they said about Tupac. They said, think about Tupac, he'll just be in the hood at a party And you like, ain't you Tupac? You know, there's some people just have that gift where y'all are just— but again, you're not out there on, you know, drugged out either because of the Hollywood life.

You know, you're not, you know, drinking really. I think the drinking starts and people want to keep drinking, and that's when they start getting into something else and something else. Like, I saw it, it was all around me. And me, I've never Never, you know what I mean? I drank, I drank, I drank 2 beers 2008, but I was on tour with, man, it was Joe Coy and Brad Williams and Carlos. It was with Live Nation. So we're doing, every Monday we get paid and, you know, yeah, yeah. So it was like we had money, whatever. So AC/DC was doing a concert in Philly and we were in Philly. And they're like, we're gonna go to AC/DC. And I'm like, cool, man, let's go check them out. And then they said, yeah, we're gonna meet downstairs in the lobby for the shuttle. I was like, what? We're gonna meet downstairs for the shuttle? Like, not me. Like, I ain't taking no shuttle. I'll call my manager, give me a fucking limo. You wanna ride with me in the limo? You wanna ride with me? Yeah, you wanna ride with me in the limo? Cristela Alonso was there, like, you wanna ride with me in the limo? Y'all wanna ride in the limo with me? And they started laughing. They thought I was playing. And then Live Nation goes, Juan, we got him a limo. You know what I mean? Because Carlos was selling out, you know, 10,000 seaters all over the country. And, uh, Carlos Benzema, man, we're not gonna put him in no fucking shuttle from a hotel. We're going to a limo.

Where did your famous term that people try to steal. Like, I got on the comic in San Antonio at open mic, he said, "Hey fuckers," and I looked, I said, "That's not your shit, bro." He got off stage, "Oh, I was just playing." No, bruh, that's not yours. Like, how did you come up with— it's simple, but it's like—

Well, because like here, Black crowds are a little bit more passive. Like, you can perform and be like How y'all doing? Everybody having a good time? Okay, how you doing? Y'all looking good. And, and yeah, I mean, in New York, like, the aggressive— oh, you better go up there. Yeah, I mean, you know how you doing? It's not with it. I just go, what's up, fuckers? And just start— just—

yeah, but what—

that's—

do you remember your first time doing it? Was it an accident? You were just talking shit, or it was like, I'm gonna hit him with this tonight. Because it don't seem like you're an open mic type of person. Yeah, it don't seem like you're a person that need to go on open mic and practice your stuff. It's like you're just a natural comedian.

Yeah, yeah, man. I passed up open mic, like, like it was not— like, like, nah, man. Like, my crowds— because Rashawn had the hip-hop, so the hip-hop, you know, people would pay. And that's when I'd work with Michael Collier and Paul Mooney. Arnaz J and all them, they were right there, like what's up? It was just so cool. It was just like, he was a badass dude. I got to work with Dolomite. You know how cool that was?

Rudy Ray Moore.

Yeah, he hated me. I don't even know why they got you on the show, and this and that. He's like, he ought to go up before me. They wanted me to—

You weren't no comedian.

Nah, and they were like, hey man, This dude is a beast on stage. Like, look at all these Mexicans that are here. Like, and he went up there and did about 45 minutes, man. He pissed off— he was gonna do 15, 20 minutes, he did 45 minutes. Walked around, gave roses to ladies in the crowd and stuff. The promoters were mad. I was laughing my ass off, man. Like, but this dude is having fun, man. Let him do it, man. I didn't even know who he was like that. Like, now that the, you know, The movie came out. I didn't, I didn't know that, but I loved it, man. Okay, that was cool.

You don't write jokes? You don't have like a, a pad full of just jokes over the years that you've done? You just off the top of the dome?

No, no, no, that's my style. Like, I, I'll say a joke, it's hard to say it the exact same way twice. But I, you know what I mean? Yeah. But I'll say, okay, I'm gonna do like the food stamp back then, the 30-year-old. I'm gonna do the food stamp joke, I'm gonna do the UFO joke and the genie joke, and then I would just talk about that and that was it. And then, because when I went up— oh wait, my very first time when I was smoking, I said, you know me, I saw the paper, be a star, I was just thinking about it. I went inside, I told my wife, hey babe, I'm gonna pawn a gun, we're gonna get a babysitter, and I'm gonna do comedy tonight. At the Laugh Stop. She's like, nah, you can do comedy? Like, yep. And I went up there, and I don't drink, right? I've never been a drinker. And but that night I drank a 40. Yeah, I drank a 40, and I went up there in, in some spandex, spandex shorts with a— I put a big old dick right there. So I'm walking around with this big old jacket, and people are looking at me like, where's he going? And this one guy, cat eyes, people like, hey Don't cuss too much, work on your material, this and that, whatever. I was like, I already thought about something. And then I went up there and I said, yeah, I'm here to talk about problems of a big dick.

And you just started going in.

I did like 7 minutes. You can't get no good head, no big girl, my girl got stretch marks. And I just went along with it and the crowd was fucking falling down on the floor and everything. It was crazy. I said, "Thank God." So then I felt like I cheated. You know what I mean? I left, right?

Why?

I was embarrassed. I felt like I cheated. Not at that moment, but when I got in the car and then I got home and I started watching comedy, I'm gonna do it again. I'm gonna go back next Monday. And then I was like, "Yeah, I can't be wearing no costumes. I can't be going up there no—" That's not me. So then I saw the flood people. That's the next week I went up there and I saw people getting flooded and they never moved. And I did a joke about that. And I know later on people tried to turn into something tragic because back then it was killing, bro. And I said, man, why would you just move? You get flashed off. So the same reporter 3 times in a row, the same dude, like, yeah, but this is like your 3rd time happening here. This happens a lot, man. It happens every goddamn year. "Every year we float somewhere different. Look, the Hendersons are gone." "But isn't that your house like floating over there?" "Yep." And I mean, it was just making fun of that. And the crowd loved it. And then the next week I did one about, that's when I wrote the food stamp joke. And oh my God, that went crazy. So the guy at the door stopped me. He's like, how long you been doing comedy? I'm like, uh, 3 weeks. He said, no, no, how long have you been doing comedy? And I was like, 21 days.

Like, you don't understand, 3 weeks.

He's staring at me, he's like, how many times have you been on stage? I'm like, 3 times, bro. That's my third time. Remember I wore the spandex? And then the last time, he's like You can't write 5 minutes every week. I'm like, I'm supposed to write that shit down? He goes, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, like, I want you to host next week. Oh shit, what? I want you to host next week. Oh my God, I was— I didn't know the importance of a host. Like, I was going up there, okay, this next fucker, you see them on this and that, and they were pissed, dude.

Yeah, because you—

I mean, oh bro, I had comics that were on TV that were doing stuff. They're like, hey, you will not call me fucker. You will give me my credit.

Nah, bro.

Yeah, they were like, you're gonna give me my credits. I'm a special guest tonight and this and that. I'm making an appearance and blah blah blah, whatever. I've been on TV, I've been on this and that, so you're gonna give me my respect. I'm like, okay, okay. And then they'll back away and stuff. I get on stage, okay, this next fucker, whoo, he came up to me, you're not gonna come, fucker, I've been on TV, I've been on HBO, I've been this and that, man, y'all give it up for this next fucker, come on, man, come on, bro. That's funny. Oh, the funny part is like he was telling people like, you know what, no, no, oh, we're gonna take care of this. Yeah, we're gonna take care of this.

And they was really mad.

Oh yeah, they were pissed off, bro. That's— I would be pissed off. I'd probably knock them off. I got like— I didn't know the rules. I didn't know.

But you're a comedian.

Like comedians, that was my fourth time.

No, I'm talking about them. Yeah, as a comedian, you know. Well, never mind, I'm learning comedians are more sensitive than—

Yeah, I didn't even know who they were or whatever. I didn't know who nobody was. I had a list with 20 names on it, and then the headliners can go in there, do 10, and bump people. Yeah. Yeah. So they will put their name. I'm bumping this guy, I'm bumping this guy, whatever.

So here's a question. Have you ever been—

because, you know, you've been around— beat them up, and then they're like—

Have you ever been around some people and you was like, you was fanned out almost? Not like, you know, like, damn, that's Eddie Murphy right there, or that's you know, or you just like, they're just a regular person?

Nah, Eddie Murphy kind of like, you know what I mean, like, wow. Yeah, but everybody did. Martin, Andrew Dice Clay, they were all there. David Spade, Adam Sandler, everybody was there, bro. So it was like, it was like, it happened real quick. So I had to play cool when Carlos was like, hey bro, they're all in the green room, they're like, hey bro, uh, you don't— you, you're a comic. Nobody signs autographs in the green room. So everybody got quiet. I'm like, man, I'm sorry. And look at you. And Carlos goes, yeah, like, this is his first time, bro. He's only been doing it for like 9 months and he's already been on TV twice. So they all looked at me, so like, yeah, so he doesn't know the rules yet, but this is a green room. We don't do that here. I'm like, my bad, I'm sorry. And he walked out. Like, man, fuck him, man. Can I get your autograph? Like, I might never be in this bitch again. I had everybody's autograph, dude. Paul Moon, everybody's autograph. Everybody walked in there, you know what?

But Eddie Griffin just laughing, Andrew Dice Clay, man, it would seem like it would be a relief because sometimes it's comedy, you just want to be a regular person. But I was, bro. I'm not saying you, but them, like, you're like, fuck the rules, like, oh yeah, I'm just gonna do me.

Yeah. And then my confidence in, as far as like if something would would it get physical or something like that, didn't even, you know what I mean?

Like, like, well, you had 100 fights. That's what I'm saying.

Mayweather, 500 fights. I had, give me at least 5, like, I at least. So it was like, like, it was no, there was no fear there, no nothing. So somebody come up, I remember this one guy, hey man, you do whatever, and I was like Okay. And then you understand me? I'm like, yep, I get it. Okay. And then he walks off. I'm like, where you going? Like, where you going? He's like, what? I'm like, you can't just come up to me and yell at me like that and think you're just gonna walk away. Yeah. So I didn't want to hit you in the back of the head, but let's go outside and take care of this. Huh, we're gonna go outside and take care of this. Yeah, he's like, listen, I just want to get— no. And that's what I would grab him, and then that's when people break it like, wow, you can't, you can't come up here beating up. I was like, well, I didn't know, because you know, some of them, like you said, they talk a lot of shit.

But so have you ever had hecklers and stuff? Because it don't seem like— I don't know, it just seemed like that's not part of—

no, man. No, I would never.

Nah, bro. So people don't help you one time?

One time? Never. Well, one time, uh, not even like— like I would do shows where I was the only Mexican in the room. It'd be like 6 Black comedians and they would get yelled at. But my comedy is kind of like sit back and watch. Look, listen, their comedy's like, wait, wait, wait. You mean they would ask a question and then they would turn into other stuff? So, and then they would get heckled or whatever. And me, I never I had material, I had stuff to say. So, no, no, listen, fucker, listen. And I would just, you know what I mean, just tell the story and they loved it.

They loved it, man. That's— I mean, you're—

it was cool, but it was fun. And I was being real. I wasn't trying to be— I mean, I was being real. I wasn't making up shit or nothing. So let me— let me finish that. Yo, people like, man, you ain't no fool's dance. I said, oh yeah? Watch this, look. And I pull out my EBT card and look, bam! It was a Long Star card back then. Bam, it's right here. I said, I just got it about a few months ago. I said, before this I had that little booklet. You had to tear the— back then it was like paper money. So that's how food stamps were back in the day.

Oh, unfortunately, I know.

Yeah, they were saying they would send you a check, you go cash it, they would just give you food stamps.

Yeah, trust me, them brown food stamps, we used to play video games after Mama went washing. Oh, yep, we had to break it. She, you know, we supposed to only get a nickel candy, that way she have 95 cents. Yeah, I got, I got to get one candy, get 95 cents. So let me ask this right here, what, what do you feel like is your— what do you feel like is your, your secret sauce? Because obviously you have something, you have something that other people don't have. I know to you it doesn't seem that way, but But trust me, your career, the way you started, the way you're going, it's not normal. The fact that everybody likes you— what do you feel like is your secret sauce though, man?

I ain't gonna know. I don't think I'll ever know that. Like, really? Yeah, I don't— there's no secret. I'm just being me, fucker. Like, it's just me, bro. Like Like, it's just me, fucker. Like, but like, but I've had good moments. Like when I got nominated for the Comedy Award on BET and Richard Pryor was in the house and they had broken into the car. Wow. They had broken into the car. That was the first time I met Tupac. They had broken into our car and took my clothes, suitcase and everything. So I was like, damn. So I had some fucked up gear on because I thought I was, I was gonna win it, but they gave it to Pierre. Pierre won it, but he had a great set too. Pierre Edwards? Yeah. He did it and he won it. But during the warm-up, the warm-up guy is in the crowd talking to people. He goes, "Oh, we got a Latino. What do you do?" Like, "I do comedy." "Oh, you want to do comedy? Well, we got a comic." And then he just grabbed my— "Come on," and started taking me to the stage. And I'm like, he didn't know who I was. He didn't know. Yeah, I mean, he hadn't seen me on BET or whatever, and he took me on stage and he brought me right by Richard Pryor. And I grabbed his knee, I said, "Man, I love you, man. Thank you for everything you've done." He goes, "Come on." I said, "Man, I love you." And he was kind of sick, but he was like, "Thank you," and this and that. And there was a lady taking care of him, she goes, "Thank you, sweetie," and whatever. So he brought me on stage and, you know, we got a guy. So he gives me the mic. All right, man, be funny, man. I'm like, okay, fucker.

Not knowing that that's what you do.

Yeah, I said, okay, fucker, hold on. They rushing me and stuff. Like, the crowd started laughing, and I said, what's up, fuckers? And then they started recognizing me, and then they got a big ovation. And then he realized, like, oh, and they were like shaking their head though. So then he tried to get the mic from me. Oh, okay. Goes, Juan, Juan. I'm like, no, no, fucker, you gave me the mic. No, no, no. I'm walking around stage. Juan, come on, Juan. And it's like, we got 45 seconds. He goes, Juan, give me the mic. I'm like, nope, this fucker wants the mic now. No, nope, nope, don't never give a Mexican shit. I— we will take it. Don't do that. You gave it to me in front of everybody. We got cameras, footage. I didn't steal it.

I didn't steal it. Yeah, this is mine.

Thank you, I appreciate it. I like Mr. Pryor. That's the first rule of comedy, huh? Don't ever give nobody the mic. Don't do that. And you know, the crowd was going crazy, bro. And you know what I mean?

This is all improv, you're just going off the top of your head.

Yeah, I'm walking around his bag, he's steadily trying to get out of my hand. Oh no, I'm stronger than you, back up little dude. And you can fight, look, and you can fight, he just don't know that. No, no, well yeah, because he kind of got to try to get like a little, little bit hard but not, not to make it look hard to them, but then he felt that little like, it'll be a little bit harder than that bro. He felt that little Okay, this dude, so he just followed me, trying to grab it. Nope, mm-mm. 10 seconds. Oh, they got 10 seconds, woo! And it said 5, 4, I said, thank you everybody. And then I ran off stage right on time.

Have you ever had a bad moment on stage?

Man, oh yeah, bro. I got booed really bad. You got booed? Man, I was doing the Hip Hop Comedy Stop And I was about, about 5 months in, and I had a couple of sets, a couple of jokes, and— but I was changing it up a lot. And Roshon is like, don't— you mean, fix that joke before you go to another one. Once you got it set, throw, throw a joke in there. And— but my style was— it didn't worked at. And after a while, he realized that. He goes, do your thing, do your thing. But he knew that I was gonna, gonna rock it. Like, he knew I was gonna do my thing. So I was killing it. So this lady goes, you want to do a show at a high school? And I'm like, pay $75. I'm like, I'll be rich. That was a lot of money because, you know, back then shows were paying $20, $25. A lot of times it was free. But it was like, I'm getting $75 to do 15 minutes, maybe 20 minutes. Okay, but she booked 4 comedians. She booked, uh, David Raybon, who was part of the club. David went up there, killed it, man. David killed it, just demolished them. The next one is Billy Jones. Billy Jones was from Dallas and he played the keyboard, and he has some stuff, and He was playing some music and he was doing a little Mexican stuff. We're in the gym in Austin High School. They went crazy, bro. And then the next guy was Jay Lamont, huh? So you're doing like the crowd like, oh, you know what I mean? And he's doing it just for the raza. He was, you know what I mean? I was like not realizing that I'm next, so I went up there and then they said, Juan, don't cuss, you know you can't cuss, right? I'm like What? Don't cuss. Like, this is high school. I mean, y'all didn't tell me that. So I go out there, I'm like, what's up? Right there, I'm uncomfortable because you didn't get— yeah, I didn't get that. I didn't— I'm like, what's up everybody, how you doing? And then somebody goes, what school you go to? And I went to Milby for a little while, and Milby was their rival, their homecoming rival. They battle all the time. So I said, I went to Milby. Boo! Man, they booed the shit out of me. They booed me. I'm standing there and I'm like, man, fuck y'all. No cussing. The teacher, the coach, I saw one lady. I was like, man, fuck y'all, man. Some bullshit. We in a gym with a little speaker and y'all booing me. Man, this is crazy. Like, and they came in, they took the mic from you, and I was married at the time because it was so— it was 4 months into the game. I should have never been a headliner. And then I shouldn't even been an opener. High school was totally different than— you mean, yeah, yeah. So I wasn't ready, and my daughter was there and my and my ex, uh, my ex-wife, and, and I had a '77 Hornet, a yellow Hornet with the tires that went like this. Yeah, and it's like a tank, right? And it didn't have a manifold, so you turn it on, it's not like a Harley. So I parked it like 3 blocks from the school. So they gave me my little $75. They were mad as shit. I mean, take this, we don't want to see you here no more. I ain't coming back either. And I said, "Mewbie!" So I was walking away, and we made it to the car. We walked kind of fast, but as we were walking, we heard the boom, like the dismissal bell. Yeah. So I'm like, "Oh, man." She goes, "We gotta hurry up." I'm like, "I know, man." We get to my car, the battery starts stripping. Come on, man. I get in my car. So you can't even leave. I know this shit ain't happening. She's like, oh no, no, hell no. We rolled down the windows, it wasn't powered. Like, man, it's some bullshit. Like, come on. Like, oh my God, just that's hilarious. And so we're in the car for like 2 minutes, 3 minutes, we're sweating our ass off, it won't turn on. And now the kids are catching up and man, they blowing the shit out of me. They recognize you like, look, Jerry goes right there. That's it. Boo! Boo! I was like, man, fuck you, man. I'll whoop y'all. I can get my kids, come whoop y'all ass. That's— first of all— Oh my God, bro.

How do you recover from that? 4 months in.

Oh my God. No, I'll tell you how. And then the car turned on. The car turned on and went— Oh God. Oh my God. Kids are mean, bro. They were— oh, they were saying shit to me that was making me laugh. Yeah, I mean, like, oh yeah, like, oh, that— I can't— I ain't gonna come back for that shit, baby. We were laughing too. So she goes, what do you think? Like, yeah, I think I just go to the hip-hop every now and then, but I'm gonna give me a job. I'll be a cop. I'll find something to do, whatever. And she's like, yeah. So, uh, David told Rashawn, I mean and Steve, you know, J.D. Brown, all of them. I said, hey man, Juan got booed really bad, he left, so like he needs to go up. So Rashawn calls me out of nowhere, right?

Wow.

Well, they called me— we had to— we live in some apartments, they called me at a pay phone, so it took like 4 houses down, you know what I mean? Juan, Juan, Juan, there's a guy named Rashawn. Like, what? A guy named Roshon? Sounds Black. And I ran to the store, like, hello? He's like, Juan, this Roshon. Like, what's up, Roshon? I'm like, hold up, he don't sound that Black, bro. Like, I mean, like, Roshon was educated, you know what I mean? He spoke well. I'm like, what's up? He's like, hey man, I need you to come to the show tonight. I need you to come perform. I'm like, oh nah. I think I'm done. It was fun. He's like, what are you talking about? Like, no, I think I'm done. No, no, I need you to come to the club tonight and perform. I'm like, yeah, I don't think— it went really bad today. Like, I think I need to step back and think about it. He's like, Juan, I'm gonna send somebody to pick you up. And he did. Somebody picked me up, and I didn't want to go up. And then I went up there, and I finally— I went up there like, what's up, fuckers? I had already fans that loved me, whatever. Like, oh, and then I just started hitting them, and I did a joke about getting booed and everything. Those Mexicans, man, I made an 8-minute bit about getting booed. So Rashawn was like, Dad, you don't understand what you just did. What do you mean? I told them I got booed, but they loved it. They, you know, you can't make an 8-minute routine in a few hours because this was like 4, 5. Yeah, yeah, so I'm like, that wasn't a routine. Like, I'm not gonna do that again. I was just letting them know what happened today. So I've done 20 minutes on getting to the show. I mean, I ain't gonna believe what the fuck happened on the way up here. And I started explaining shit in certain routes, and the homeless dude, and they know exactly, you know what I mean? Like, when I'm out of town somewhere, they know exactly what I'm talking about. So I could do 20 minutes about that, dude. The crowd's going crazy and stuff. And I said, let me do my jokes.

Then I do It's a material.

Okay, so I'm funny, fucker. I don't know how it works.

No, it's not just that. Like, this comedy thing is hard for a lot of us. Yeah, like everybody can't do a Steph Curry. And what you talking about, some Steph Curry shit? Like, everybody can't do this, bro. Like, a lot of us, we bust our ass. No, I know. 6 months to get a 30-minute set. Like open mics and 5 minutes here, 5 minutes there at the barbershop. And, and some people, yourself, just are naturally gifted. Yeah, that is a 100% a gift from God, bro.

Huh? BET told me that because when I would get there, like my third time doing it, okay, it's like my third time, they already know who I am, everything. So I got a manager now, he's in the suit, you know, my fans is looking out for me. They were, uh, everybody was writing their sets and had headphones. And I mean, they're just like, and I'm like, what's up, dude? What's up, fucker? Come on. Like, huh, Juan? Like, like they were a whole different person. And I was like, man, what the fuck? Nobody wants to talk about whatever. And they're like, Juan, are you going to write down your set? I'm like, nah. I looked at that like, nah. She's like, you don't want to have something prepared just in case? This is your third time, you've already— you can't do the old stuff. I'm like, oh no, nah, I got a lot of stuff. She's like, why won't you write down your set? I'm like, because look, if I write down my set and I'm saying, okay, I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna do this, there's 30 comedians, I'm number like 16. So I'm gonna look at 16 comics, and if they touch on anything that I'm gonna talk about, it's gonna make me change everything. So I'm good. Like, just— I just want to watch them because a lot of comics don't want to watch other comedians. Yeah, I love comedy. And when I'm a headliner, it don't look like it, but I either— I know their set because some comics have one set and they get stagnant. They just don't grow no more. That's it. They're gonna do the same set No matter where it goes. And me, I like to watch it, so I won't touch on nothing that they touched on. So I'm like, damn, dude, like somebody will go up there and it's just hard to follow somebody saying fuck her, man, fuck her, and fuck her, and doing it the way I do it alive.

So I, I, I know I had to tell like, hey man, I'm not gonna say the comedian's name because I just try to be positive, right? Yeah, but there was one comedian and he's a pretty big comedian, that if he's performing and he's the headliner, he's very strict. He tells you what you're supposed to say. You can't curse, you can't do this, you can't do that, can't talk about family. Like, he dissect— he wants you damn near send your joke sets, and then he said, well, you can't talk about family, you can't talk about women, you can't do this. And I was like, well, fuck it, I'm gonna open up for him because I'm like, bro, you killing me. I'm not trying to— they're here to see you. Yeah, like, has there ever been a situation where you opened up for somebody and they was like, nah, this dude gonna kill me?

Yeah, a lot of people. DL said it on stage. Cedric said it on stage. Uh, who, man? Uh, Steve. Steve was like— Steve Harvey? Yeah, Steve was like, Juan, I don't need a headliner to open for me. That ain't gonna happen again.

So that's a compliment though, right?

Yeah, but it would cost me thousands, you know what I mean? Like, I was on tour with Cedric and we did like— it was our third show, it was in San Antonio. And you know, I let him have it, bro. I was doing 25 minutes and goes, do 25 minutes, Cedric will do an hour. I'm like, okay. And 25 minutes is like Nothing, bro. That's like, okay, the food stamp joke, the genie joke, this joke and that joke, that's 25 minutes. And I will go up there and just light them up. And then Cedric got off, said, goes, hey Juan, this is for 5 shows. We done, man. He goes, I'm not gonna follow that shit every night. You fucking lying.

I'm sorry, I'm cursing. Cedric will tell you.

Cedric will tell you. They'll tell you. So, man, so when I show up to a show, they're like, what's up, man? What's up? The Black Comics, what's up? You going up? Michael Blackson, you going up? You going up? Is he going up? What is he going up like? Because they don't want to follow me. Like, that hurt me. A lot of people— Ricky Smiley, I love him. Uh, a lot of comedians want you to get dressed up, wear a suit. And stuff. Yeah, and I don't, I don't wear— that's part of the thing. Like, Steve Harvey is mandatory, but Steve's like, Juan's gonna open for you. He's like, don't fuck with him, leave him alone. He's gonna go up to Lil Jay, he's gonna look cool.

Oh, so you don't— he don't mess with you?

Steve's like, Steve's like, don't fuck— he fucks with everybody but not with me. Like, he's like, like, leave Juan alone. All of them said that. Jamie Foxx, everybody. Ricky Smiley, man, we did We did Arizona, we did Phoenix, and you know, these comics don't know me like that. Like, they don't know me. They never seen me do 25 minutes in front of them, in front of 3,000 Black people. So I was going in there like killing them, bro. And Ricky was like, come on, man, sit with me. You got some DVDs, sit with me, sell them right here. Like, cool, man. And And, you know, I had a long line. He did too, man. I love Ricky, but he had a long line. But like, I stood out, man. I'm not— I stood out. Yeah. Hurry up, Juan. Hold on, fucker. You got cash? Because I don't take no credit cards or checks or nothing. So the crowd is like, I got a whole thing. So then Tucson, the next show, Ricky was over here and they was like, Juan, we set you up over there. I'm like, okay, cool. And I'm thinking I'm gonna, I'm gonna lose sales. It's gonna hurt me even more. Yeah, like Rick, Ricky had his people, but yeah, I mean, it was like I told Vance, this don't look too good. Vance is like, my manager was like, I'm like, man, I'm like, okay, so now we're gonna perform in Atlanta. We driving, we're driving from Houston, we're driving and we hit traffic and we hit like 4 hours of traffic just parked going like fuck. And we're like an hour away, 2 hours away from Atlanta to our hotel where we got, you know, suites and everything. And I'm like, man, I can't take this. I'm going through some anxiety shit. And, and so we stopped at a, I don't know what it was, Family Dollar or something, and I bought me some pants and a shirt that looked fucked up. We got to the hotel, Vance was like, "You iron it?" I'm like, "I ain't gonna—" I should wear this. He's like, "Mm, whatever." So, and then I said, "Let me give you a drink, man." And Vance goes, "We don't got the key to that, the refrigerator." I was like, "Stop." Like, I thought, you know what I mean?

He didn't know.

Yeah, he didn't know. So I got a pen, the top of the pen, whatever, and it's like, So he's only got two little tumblers, so you just open it up and I got the, you know, this and that. So Vance is like, you can open those? I'm like, yeah, bro, just put it back, we'll pay you, whatever. Like, man, I didn't know you could do that. I'm like, yeah, yeah, I got it. So I went up, they booed this guy in front of me. They booed him. Hard, real hard. And, and it was bad. And I don't know why he didn't get off stage. He stayed on there. Oh, he stayed on there for these 7 minutes after he got booed? Yeah, he was like, stop, y'all, y'all quit playing.

That's even worse, bro. What are you doing?

He was like, y'all quit playing. That's what he was saying. I quit playing, man. And this and that. I was like, so now they're all worried about me, like, Juan, you ready? You good?

I'm like, yeah, that don't make you nervous like the person before you?

And you know, I ain't gonna lie, there's a lot of comics that'll tell you this, but when there's a fucking bombing in front of you, that shit funny. You love that shit. It's funny. You gonna make me a star tonight. That's funny. So I went on stage, they called me, y'all get up for Juan Villarreal. I walked out there, I'm already been on BET, they showing reruns like crazy, so they fucking went crazy. Yeah, like, what's up, fuckers? I was like, wasn't they quiet down? I'll be real with y'all, I was booing that motherfucker too. I'm backstage, I was booing the fuck out, I was running, I don't know, y'all saw my feet. I was like, man, this guy, he, he made me feel like I wasn't gonna be funny. He had me scratching out shit like, oh man, oh my God, like that.

And that's some shit you just came up with?

Yeah, I was like, man, that y'all booed him him hard. Did y'all see how like he wouldn't get off stage? Yeah, y'all went even harder. Like, I never heard like 3 different boo levels. Like, y'all booed him and then, and then y'all got to like the Apollo boo. Like, okay, time to go. And this motherfucker said, y'all quit playing. And I'm sorry, Black people, I might get in trouble for saying this, but I'm backstage. I'm like, nigga, they ain't playing. They're not playing, nigga! Get off stage! This motherfucker think he bulletproof. So, so now they're looking at me like, you know what I mean? Like, I'm— the crowd is going crazy. They standing up, running around and shit, like, woo! Like, Black people, I'm sorry. I'll take the ass whooping after this show if we got a problem. I'll take my ass whooping. But he's the only one— I'm sure he's the, he's the one that made everybody say like He go, please. That's funny. And I said, y'all know he crying? He let— he walked straight out the back. Did y'all know that? That motherfucker didn't say nothing to nobody and everything. I was gonna say that was pretty good. I'll try to give him some encouragement. You do better next time. He walked straight out, and I bet he outside keying up all y'all shit. Y'all gonna boo me? So I just did a whole thing about him getting booed. Yeah, he's booing. Y'all gonna go to your hood, you're gonna see boo.

Bro, that confidence is crazy.

Yeah, it says okay, but I'm at the Comedy Store, dude. I'm following Arsenio, Eddie Murphy, Eddie Griffin, Andrew Dice Clay, Juan, uh, fucking Adam Sandler, uh, what's his name?

You know who you remind me of, honestly? Uh, Lavelle Crawford. Oh man, Lavelle just keeps going and you're like, did he write this shit down? Is he just— he doesn't stop, bro.

Oh my God, bro, I love Lavelle, man. Me and Lavelle done a lot of shows.

I can't see a show that would be too much. Yeah, you, Lavelle Crawford, and Tony Robbins. Oh my God, dude, that would be too much. Like, bro, that's— it's too much urine for man. People gonna be pissing on themselves, bro.

And back then I was going hard, like I had a lot of energy. I mean, I was, you know, I was young. I would, man, use the whole stage. So is Tony, so does Rod Stapleton. So when they put up 3 together, they're like, it's too much. They're like, Juan, so, so when you going up, like, you know they're gonna put me in the middle. Nah, man, because it's like, man, Tony Roberts is like hard to follow, bro. Like, it's hard to follow him. So listen, but, but Lavelle, uh, Lavelle's a good dude. Uh, him and my sons, they were ranking on each other, and, and I forgot my chain at the room, whatever. We're doing the municipal, uh, Santa for 5150, uh, for them, for, uh, what do you call it, 50/50. And then, uh, I said, if you want to borrow a chain, give me, give me a chain. So, so he let me, uh, borrow a chain, and LaVelle started laughing. He's on the chair, go, man, Juan and his children borrow jewelry, they borrowing jewelry from each other. My son says, hey man, I wouldn't move like that in that chair because those legs are barely hanging on. Like, you about— you about to fuck up that chair, Lavelle, because the legs are real skinny. And so they started going at it. And my sons are funny, bro. My son, I bet, like, my sons— I got 4 boys there, bro. They will— they chop up motherfuckers. They will fuck up a comedian's head so bad. So they will mock their whole set. Like my son Bubba, the motherfucker, so you gonna do that little old joke about the this and that, and you gonna do this, like just make you feel bad. Oh my God, they're like, it's one of my best sets. Wow, wow. And they would just walk away from them. So after a while, comics were like, hey Juan, you need to get your kids away from these motherfuckers, 'cause they would fuck with them, man. They would fuck with Steve Harvey. Steve Harvey had on like, that's when he was grabbing nachos for my son's thing. Uh, and you know, because Steve, we did the— that's when— that's the last time Steve— that's it, I ain't working with you no more. You're not opening up for me no more.

So listen, last question, I'm gonna let you go. I appreciate you, right? I'm good, but I gotta ask this right here, okay? So this is called Turning Corners, right? Which means there was a moment or moments in your life where you Either say, I'm gonna go this way, I'm gonna go that way. And it seems like earlier, one of the turning corner moments that I heard is when the— you went to jail for the car situation. Newspaper opened up, joint falls down. Imagine that not opening up, bro. That's, that's, that's, that's crazy.

Page not opening up. Imagine it not opening up.

Like, I couldn't see you arresting people as a cop.

Oh my God, I was good at it.

No, I'm just saying, you're gonna be roasting them like, you dumb motherfucker, like, did you really just like—

oh, I stopped a lot of— that's the thing, that's why my partner was like, bro, well, you should do comedy, man, you're fucking funny. Like, I'll do comedy, bro, I'll be a fucking detective, bro, I'm gonna be catching bad dudes and this and that, whatever. And you know, there was altercations, like I said, apartments and this and that, whatever. And so we were really good at that.

Was there a moment in your comedy career where you was like— and I know you don't even think like this, so it's probably a bad question— but you was like, I really got this. Like, I am so confident, I, I got this. There's no— I know you got booed by some kids. You got killed, you know. Yeah, they was mad because R. Kelly wasn't there, because R. Kelly would have came. Hold up, thing. But you got booed by some kids and you kept going. Matter of fact, I'm gonna tell you how crazy this is. Roshawn made me No, no, you don't understand. People don't have people encourage them to keep going, especially if they see talent. They're like, oh, that's my competition. Yeah, it's like, it seems like God has put people around you that's protected you and encouraged you, and you know what I'm saying? So, so before we leave, what is a, a turning corner moment where you can say that changed the direction of everything? 'Cause you almost 35 years in the game, bro. That's crazy.

Ron Wilson was a state representative. Al Freeman, good friend of mine, comedian. I wouldn't be in the game if it wasn't for them. Because when I got, you know, got out, I went to court for the car. I had a shitty lawyer named Ralph Martinez. His office was off of Woodridge in the bank, on top of the bank. Yep. That dude got me 10 years deferred adjudicated. He was mad because I didn't have enough money. And he was like, oh, you got here, sign this, 10 years, or not even go to prison for 10 years. Oh, thank you. I signed it. I didn't— I'm so— I'm on probation, but I never— when they let me go from court, I never went to probation. I never did nothing. I, I didn't— yeah, I mean, yeah, I did. Yeah, I just didn't. So I'm doing comedy now. I'm like 6 months deep. I'm at the Hip Hop, you know, killing stuff. I'm getting booked there. And Al Freeman said that he made Ron Wilson go see me because you got to see him, you got to see him. Now Ron Wilson was, you know, Ty Drexler's, you know, entertainment attorney. He's done, uh The Ghetto Boy. He's worked with a lot of people. Yeah, a lot of entertainers. So he knew a little bit about entertainment. So he went to go see me, and I did the set about sticking the car, blah blah, whatever. So he's like— I said, yeah, because y'all might not see me next week. Well, now what happened to that fucker? We'll see him in 10. You know, I was doing jokes about that. Damn. And then, uh, Ron Wilson came out and talked to me. This dude's got a suit on, his watch, you know. I was in the hood, a little thuggy, whatever. I knew, I'm like, okay, that's at least 10. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I knew exactly what was going on. I was like, so he's like, you funny, man. I'm like, thank you. He's like, I'm Ron Wilson, I'm a state representative. I also got my own law group. I'm I'm an attorney. I'm like, okay, cool. He's like, uh, so, so you're on probation? I'm like, I think so. He's like, what do you mean? Well, I stole the car and then my lawyer was really shitty. His name is Ralph Martinez, office was on Woodridge. He's looking at me, he's like, they gave you 10 years? I'm like, the first adjudicated. So they said if I do 9 and I fuck up, I'm gonna have to do 10. So who you talking to? Who's your probation? I was like, oh, I never went back. And he's like, huh? He's like, I said I never went back. Because you never went back? Like, no, I don't know who my probation officer is. I don't— I never— I never went back. Have you gotten any letters? I'm like, well, I get a lot of letters. I just don't— I don't even want to—

come on, man.

And he's like, Are you serious? Like, yeah. So when you sit on stage, that's real? I'm like, yeah. So, so you can go to jail? Like, yeah, if I go to jail, if I get pulled over, if I anything, bro, yeah, I'm gonna do at least 10 years, I'm pretty sure. Oh my God, like, I thought you were joking. I'm like, nope. I was like, I gotta go. No, no, no, hold on, uh, who's your judge? I'm like, Jay Burnett. He's like, I just had lunch with him yesterday. Oh shit. I'm like, for real? Yeah. Oh wow. Because I'm an attorney, man. I, I'm in the court. I defend criminal people. That's what I do. I'm like, okay, well thanks, man. Well, hold on, like, like, let's take care of this. I'm like, well, I got no money, man. No, no, you don't need no money. Yeah, I'm gonna take care of you. Like, he go— I'm like, what do you want me to do? He's like, go to court tomorrow. And I was like, no, go to court tomorrow at 9:01. Go to court tomorrow. I'm not going. I'm not going to court. I can't go to jail tomorrow. I got it. Because it's a bad day. Yeah, I was gonna hit a few licks, make a little $100 grand, leave it to my, to my ex-wife, you know what I mean? And then, and then go turn myself in or go, you know what I mean, get it, get it done, man. He walked in the courtroom and Man, they loved him. We went and talked to the judge. He, he showed him videos of me, everything. The judge loved me. They reinstated me. And now, now his secretary was my probation officer, Juanita Lozano, who's still a fan of mine to this day. Like, she— we still on Facebook message each other and everything. I love you, Juan. You're doing so good. Because it kept me out of trouble. I wouldn't go certain places. So The car, since that car, since '92, I've gotten one ticket, like in 2004 in Louisiana. They just stopped us. It was me and Vance. I'm like, you know they gonna stop us. And they just gave me a ticket for failure to put my blinker or something like, but I didn't change lanes. You kind of went around. I was like, well, I didn't change lanes. I stayed in this lane. So that's all I got. So they're proud of me. Now I do a lot of stuff for the community. I do charity. I do a lot of stuff. Yeah, and they love it, and they love it. And Ron's like, man, I gambled on the right person. I looked out for the right people. And I help out a lot of people because a lot of people help me out. Yeah, so Ali Siddiqi, every comic that I think I know has helped me out.

Yeah, that's, that's somebody that I need to see. That's, that's crazy. Who? Ali Siddiqi. It's just, I'm a fan. I'm such a fan. And again, he's the first comedian that was a professional that said, man, you're funny. That's cool. People don't know those little boosts. Yeah, move you forward and stuff like that.

I've taken comedians offstage. Come here, bro, look, do it like this, do it like that. Don't say that shit. That shit is done. Do it like this, do it like that, do it like that. And then like a year later, they're fucking headlining clubs and shit. They're like, man, boy, you don't know what you did for me. They felt like they owe me something.

And because we don't have—

I don't want to say too many people, but a lot of people say like, Juan, watch what I said. Watch my set. I'm like, okay. And I'd watch it up, and I'm really good at punching up people's shit. Like, like, this one comic was like, I don't think— but I'm different, whatever. Like, and DL goes, Juan, go watch his set. Go watch his set. And I saw his set, and bro, it was like, okay. And I was like, I could fix that so easy. He's like, Juan, did you see his set? Like, yeah. What, you can fix it? I'm like, yeah, but first— oh man, I don't want to hear that stuff. I went— it goes— DL goes, go ahead. I'm like, I'm gonna go smoke. Go ahead, man. That's cool. So then DL sends me a message, do his set tonight. I said, what? I said, all right, nigga, I'll do it. I did that dude's set way better than him. I tagged it, added, punched it up, whatever. Fuck it, put the mic down, got standing, you know, because there's a joke that I do at the end to get a stand. It's kind of like cheating. Like, you gonna cheat, man? You gonna do that shit? Because if I do that joke, they're gonna stand up. Yeah. And I'll put them— they stood up, whatever. And now he's standing by the door. I'm like, I fixed it. Now he's like— so he went up there and bombed. Yeah, basically did my whole set. The first 5 minutes was okay because he was talking about me. Damn, man, I gotta steal something from here. And then after that, it was just And I said, man, you had him, bro. You had him for about like this much. Like, damn, bro. And DL is laughing his ass off, dude. DL just— and that's what he does. Like, that's what he does. Steve Harvey, all them.

Instead of them just fucking— man, Steve Harvey, everybody, everybody.

Like, it's so easy, you know what I mean? I love, I love to see the set. Mike Epps, like He goes, "Wow, man, what do you think?" I'm like, "I can't help you because you're funny, you're good, but you can help yourself." Like, but I can't help you, bro, because you, you do it like— you're like me, you do it different ways. Like, it's like telling somebody, "Man, help me." I didn't know, you know what I mean? It's hard for— to get people to punch up my stuff, so— but I don't need people to punch up my stuff. Like, I can punch it up. Like, I'm good.

I think your honesty, even with yourself, yeah, is what comes across on stage. Because, you know, a lot of people, there's characters. Like, you get on stage as a character.

Oh, I know, but you're just you, bro. Yeah, like, I, I smoke a little bud. I don't do nothing else. I smoke a little bud, and I'll say that, and then somebody will go— and I used to do bud jokes. Like, I don't get it. Like, why people smoke in the bathroom and then put a towel under the door? Like, I don't understand that because I've been smoking and I never went and smoke went down. I mean, I just, I don't know, I don't get it. I'm trying to understand it, but I know I see, I see people putting towels in there and the top of the door, you can see all that shit. But okay, so I used to do jokes about that, whatever. And then these guys started doing a lot of weed jokes, whatever. And a lot of it was kind of like mine, too close to mine, that like people would be like— I'm like, don't say that, I know. And then whatever, like, hey bro, fuck, I didn't know you smoked. This nigga, oh, I don't smoke. I'm like, what? He's like, I don't smoke. I just heard your shit. I wrote that shit. Oh, you wrote what? He goes, I wrote that. I'm like, man, I wrote some shit like that too. Yeah, so somebody said something like that, but like Okay, and then I went on stage, bro, said, that motherfucker is a fraud. You don't even know me. Yeah, I roasted him.

See, it's old school comedy.

Yeah, I roasted his ass hard, dude. Everybody was like, man, that was just— it was fun. It was just one of those moments. And the comic behind me was like, like, he gave me his 10 minutes, so I did like 20 minutes in that factory, fucking just roasted his ass. See? Yeah. And then he was telling people, okay, watch this, he's hard, whatever. They're like, don't, don't do that. Don't fuck with Juan. Nah, man, he's talking shit. Like, and then, uh, Eddie Griffin— Eddie Griffin's the one said, hey man, you know Juan is the only fucker I know to be hanging out in Compton, Watts. He loves hanging out with them niggas. You know that, right? Do you know that? Okay. Now he's from Houston. Now, now sometimes he'll slip up and say it and he gotta deal with the consequences. He just showed up at the club 3, 4 times. Like, what happened? I fucked up. I said nigga at the wrong time and they just started swinging on me. I was like, hold up. So I would show up with a little knot sometimes. That's crazy. Yeah. And like, yeah, you, did you get one? Like, nah, I could have, but if I would have got one and they would have got more mad. So I just took a little nigga. I'm a bad fucker. Like, that's how we talk.

That's funny.

Yeah, so that, bruh, listen, man, listen, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.

I think you understand I'm such a fan, and, and I'm a fan, and I'm sitting up here right now, I'm just looking at you and I'm like, there are certain people that just have it, you know what I'm saying? There are certain people, like you look at Prince or Michael Jackson, they just have that gift, right? Yeah, you look at, say, Ali Siddiqi, we talk about the— he just has that gift of storytelling. Yep. There are some people who just have it, and you have the gift. You've always had the gift. I know you know it already, but for you to come on this platform, it is such a blessing for me, for my confidence, for my energy and everything else. So I definitely appreciate you, bro. Um, look at this camera right here. Tell people what you got going on. I know a million things.

Yeah, yeah, I got a— what is this gonna add?

This is gonna be the first one out because I know you're gonna be in San Antonio in a couple of weeks. Yeah.

Okay. Yeah, I need to push that show. Good. Yeah, gotcha. Gotcha. You know what? I'm gonna be in San Antonio November 26th. It's a Wednesday and I drop prices. They're the same all the way across the border, $45, because of the shutdown and the military. I got people that sponsored a bunch of military soldiers, so there'll be vets there. And, uh, I got a December 5th in Albuquerque with DC Young Fly. They call me up, so we're gonna probably be doing some collaborating stuff. And then, uh, there's someone that I'm speaking to that he's looking for producers and this and that, and I threw some ideas at him, and we don't know where that's going, but they're like, whoa! And they're— they got deep pockets too. So, so I'm gonna be doing— just follow me, Only Juan V, at Only Juan V, because my name is Juan Villarreal, Juan Villarreal, whatever, but just Juan V. And I, and I did that because they would mess up my name a lot. Black comics would be out there calling me Juan Venereo. Y'all give it up for Juan Venereo! I would look at my manager, be like, we don't get no pussy tonight. I see it, dude. That's not like an infection right there. Y'all give it up for Juan Venereo! That's crazy. Yeah, that's crazy. Yeah, but just follow me, man. I'll be doing a lot of stuff. And, uh, now I'm doing more like selective shows. Like I said, I'm doing— I'm picking and choosing now. Like, I don't put up a calendar for a whole year. Like, you know, some comics do that. And comedy's changing. Uh, people love crowd work now. There's shows that, you know, encourage engagement. And comedy's going in all sorts of directions right now. Yeah, people are just doing this, making up names and this and that, whatever. Uh, If you're a comic, if you're a real comic, don't let it bother you. That's the worst thing that I hate when a real comic that's been on TV, done a bunch of stuff, is letting the YouTubers bother them. Like, they keep the clubs open. Yeah, they create avenues. They let us open for them. We get some of their followers. Yeah, DC Young Fly, you don't think I'm gonna do a video with him, try to get some of his followers, man? If you're a comic, man, these young dudes are doing stuff It's like us when we did BET. All the OGs hated us. Like, we had to work for years. Rodney Winfield, we had to work for years, man, just to get on The Tonight Show. We had to do sets and clean sets and sets. Y'all motherfuckers do 5 minutes on BET and become a star. Y'all start selling out shit and everything. So they were mad at us. Remember that? They were mad at us. Now we can't get mad at the YouTubers.— or the social media guys or the influencers, if they're rocking and selling out shows, props to you. I got a lot of respect for you, man. Stay straight, be smart, keep your circle small, celebrate in silence, don't show all your accolades, don't do all your things because some of you guys are normalizing. Because right now the comics are— they're all mixed up. There's professional comics with this comic and open micers that they're all— we're all like on the same page. So I'm getting gigs, offers for $150, $200. They're like, oh, well, he only charges $150. I'm like, yes, man, I'm a little bit more than that. Like, my openers make $5,000 to $10,000. Like, your openers? Like, so just have fun, man. Enjoy this game, enjoy the ride. Be safe, be smart, and take care of yourself. And always pay it forward. Always pay it forward, bruh.

Bruh, I appreciate you, man. I appreciate you, man. Ron, I appreciate you. Thank y'all for watching another episode. It's your boy Ray Can't Get Right. I holla, man.