Kai Hicks | God Has Kept Me

Thing about being the Trailblazer, you gonna smell like smoke.

Going city to city, we turning corners. When you with Trailblazers smelling like smoke, pay attention to the jokes. Success tried to warn us. Motivation conversation captivating the coach. Performing arts, it's the heart, so we gotta watch the votes. All my dreams out of mind, out of sight. They standing on my left 'cause they can't get right. You know what make 'em wonder every time I turn the corner. Pull up in a hopper addressing the topic at discussion. Getting culture for the culture, a lot in Nathan, you both. So many origin stories before the glory, we just not shown. Keeping the balance with independent talents and they don't like that. Sparking conversation to impact the nation, but it start with us first. Trailblazers, trendsetters, dream chasers, motivators, inspirators. To my fans, they be acting like stans. Haters going city to city, we turn a corner.

My name is Taka Hicks.

Taka Hicks, hey!

Matter of fact, I want to get my stage name.

Okay, give me stage name.

Okay, I could I could just— you could just edit it.

No, we're gonna do both of them. What you talking about?

Okay, well, I go by KX.

Okay, KX.

Yeah, welcome.

Hey, friend, welcome, welcome, welcome to Turning Corners.

It's an honor to be here.

No, girl, um, you don't— you don't realize how much of a fan I am of yours. Um, the last time we— I saw you, we was at Midtown in San Antonio.

Wow.

And I, I actually took less money because you was on the bill.

Yes. What? Yes.

But I'm gonna tell you how that led to this off camera.

Okay.

But I took less money because he tried to shortchange me. Yeah. And I told him, I said, all right, you got me, dog. But next time, gotta run my money. But I did it because you was on. I said, yo, that's my girl.

Oh wow.

I said, this is the woman that I saw on Tiny Desk with Scarface.

It is.

This is the crew.

This is—

oh my God.

Oh wow.

I said, I just need to be in her presence and on the same flyer because, yeah, first of all, where are you from, girl?

I'm from the south side of H-Town, baby.

South side of H-Town.

South side girl.

That's it.

What school did you go to?

I went—

uh-oh, you bad.

Okay, so we started South Park. I went to Louisa May Alcott.

That's the name of school? Okay.

And then we moved to Fondren and West Belford.

To the hood hood.

Okay. And, uh, I went to Welch Middle School and then from there I was bused to Jack Yates and, uh, CLC. So I went to Contemporary Learning Center High School. But, um, yeah.

So I'm, I'm assuming Contemporary Learning is what, for bad kids?

Uh, we gonna call it alternative. We not gonna call it bad.

I mean, I went to 4 high schools, so I ain't judging.

Well, they used to always say, you know, they used to call CLC Criminals Last Chance. And when I got there, I was like, Mama, it's not Criminals Last Chance. I said, I know what CLC stands for. She was like, Contemporary Learners. And I said, no, Crazy Little Children.

But they're crazy little children.

They weren't Criminals Last Chance. Nobody had a record. It was more of a, you can even advance, you can either advance and graduate early or If you were trying to catch up a grade or if you had been pregnant or if you had been in the system, you know, it was for those type kids.

But they weren't criminals. They were just a little crazy though. I think all of us had a little edge of— everybody was on the spectrum, but nobody was a criminal.

Yeah. Listen, first of all, whatever it was, it got you to where you at now.

Indeed.

You know what I'm saying? So the school, was it a tough school?

Was it—

You know what?

No, I was one of those kids that wanted to go to school. I was popular by default, but I was. And no, I enjoyed it. For the life of me, I enjoyed school. I didn't get to graduate high school, but I did enjoy high school. Sometimes we make adult decisions that cost us our childhood. Yes.

Yes.

And getting pregnant at 18 cost me my senior year of high school because my gorgeous daughter was a high-risk pregnancy.

Okay.

So, um, instead of me going back to school after I had her, I turned 19. Um, when I had her, I was 19 and, um, me and my cousin, we just took straight off into parenthood and working and doing those things. And I just kind of— I go back to high school. Yeah, you know, because I had— then next thing I know, I'm pregnant again, then I'm pregnant again.

So, you know, that happens.

The family life started for me right out of high school, so I went from a house full of people to a house full of people. So not really having any time to find out who I was I do know since I was 18, I've been a wife figure until I became the wife, and I've been a mother since I was 19. So I know how to do two things. Well, three: sing, be a mama, and be a wife.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you know what? That's okay. Oh, that's okay.

I'm okay.

I, I had my Daughter, I always say I had her like I pushed her. Women get mad, you have that. Like, I carried her for 9 months, then we bought a stroller. But, but boom, you'll think about that later. But it, it definitely changes your outlook.

It does.

Um, kids don't understand, and they grow you up fast. They grow you up too fast, really fast. I had wanted to go to New York. I was going to be on Saturday Night Live. I was going to be a comedian, of course. And Pampers changed all that.

A baby? Yeah, yeah.

And then I had a woman that was on housing and this heifer didn't want to get on WIC. Like, girl, all that milk, well, use your breasts, bricks, all that. You got titty meat, use your titty meat to get that milk. She's like, I ain't doing all that, nigga. Oh, I ain't supposed to say that.

Anyway, good thing you gotta edit.

Uh, no, we don't edit here, we just go.

We just going in.

That's what's So when did you realize that you could sing? No, no, let me say it right, because you know, Black folks, we talk like we talk. When did you realize you could sing?

Well, honestly speaking, you know what, I've never been that sure of my voice, and I still am not.

But wait, wait, wait, wait. You come in here hoarse after— so y'all, you come in here hoarse.

I come in here hoarse.

After—

I probably wasn't doing it right.

After tearing up the room last night and you telling me— I'm listening, I'm trying to understand.

You know what, I—

sometimes when you are— sometimes I guess because gifts come without repentance, you don't even realize it is one, okay, until someone tells you it is, because it's something that you do on the norm. Like my dad and mom said, I was singing before I could talk. I was singing commercials, and my daughter did the same thing. She used to sing the, uh, the Mattress Giant commercial. My daughter used to like to sing that before she could even talk. So I do know, and she used to love Tyrese's Coke commercial. So, uh, yeah, singing before you could talk is a thing as far as me and my children, clearly. Um, I honestly feel like my high school teacher and my church, um, a church musician, but my, my music teacher in high school She opened the floodgates for teaching me opera and things of that nature. I learned how to sing in different languages. I went to competition for— I was one of the first students to go to competition for that high school because, again, they considered it an alternative, bad school, so we weren't ever in anything. The only reason how I got to Jack Hayes, if we wanted to do anything extracurricular, We had to do it with another high school. And they would let our PE period be the last period of the day so that we could catch the bus or do what we got to do to get to the other school. Because they graded us at Jack Yates. That was our grade if we stayed. I was a flagette in the band. Funny story, never got to get on the field. Ended up being the speaker.

That's just your gift.

And then I ended up singing. I was a human jukebox on the bus. So, uh, yeah, they kept me around. I don't know. Yeah, but that's neither here nor there. The music came from my music teacher. She saw that, um, Glendora Eaglin is her name, and I think that she's since passed, um, after COVID, I believe. But I always said if I got famous, I would go back and give that woman whatever she wanted. Her and Anna Brown. Anna Bonie Brown was a gospel singer in Houston. And she also, she heard my voice in the choir one day and was like, who is that? And everybody pointed. And I thought that I did something wrong.

So the choir was singing.

The choir was singing.

But your voice stood out.

And my voice stood out.

And she was like, "Who is that?" And that's what she said, "That is piercing through this alto section." And everybody went—

So the whole room did it.

I ran out of the church because I did not know why. I felt picked on, attacked immediately. I thought we was in choir. So she sent her daughter to come and get me and she brought me back in and she was She was just like, "No, I didn't say that to insult you.

Can you sing this?" And how old were you at this time?

I was 15, maybe 14.

14.

I think I was about 14. And I was just like, she was like, "Sing this," and she just started playing these runs and I was just like, "Ma'am, I don't do that." So when I went back to school, when I went back and told my other teacher that I had joined a Black church and said, "Don't you join them damn whites!" No!

Are you serious?

What? She said, "You are not about to be doing all the hollering and screaming at the end of your lungs. No, ma'am." And I was just like, uh.

She was like, "No." But the thing that she liked that Anna did was that she did the scales and everything before we started. She actually did do the same things that I did with my teacher.

So I was like, "Nah, teach." That's good.

So it was a good Black church.

It was a Black choir for sure.

Because I understand how it was.

She was just like, they just finna be out there and have you doing that. That ain't what you use that for. Blah, blah, blah.

So she taught me, she made sure I stayed technical. Okay. And Anna made sure I had soul with my tech. Oh. Yeah.

Oh, so, so basically God blessed you with the best of both worlds to make you become—

huh. Yeah.

And at this time you're young, you probably get a name for yourself.

Yeah.

Because if you can sing— no, I'll just be real. If people normally— people, first of all, I've always wanted to sing but I can't.

Like, I—

all right, I can sing But in the shower, you can hold a note. No, I really can't do that either, to be honest. Plus, I don't know the words to the song. I'll be making my own stuff.

Oh, well, now we don't want to do this.

Yeah, I'll be swearing. They be messing up. All right, Luther messed that part up. They don't go like that.

It don't go like this.

Nah, it don't go like that.

But you know what?

Music saved my life.

Let's talk about it. Okay, let's talk.

Okay, we'll talk about it. Okay.

And it's great you're on that camera, so it's so dope how you knew that.

When I was 12 turning 13, my virginity was taken.

I was It was very traumatic. Um, okay, safe space, nothing but a bunch of people that might watch this, but, um, I was in a situation where I was raped several times in a 90-day span. I'll just say that. And I never forgot. I actually counted, and y'all would be amazed, so I won't tell you. But it found such an anger. But music was the only thing that made me smile. So imagine somebody seeing you always fighting, always angry.. And then when, but when that piano started playing, you know, my absolute attention was gone from whatever I was angry from. And my music teacher picked that up. And that is why I always said, if I ever saw that woman again, if I ever became famous, I would look for her in Seattle, Washington, because that's where she was from. And I believe she moved back. And I said, "I'mma get her whatever she want." Because she saw, she saw a pain that I didn't even know was a pain at the time. I just thought I was being a teenager. You know, one of these rough girls that like to fight and they like to, you know. But no, it was just, I needed an outlet. And instead of me fighting, she curbed my enthusiasm elsewhere because these hands, they lethal. I can still throw down though. But she just made sure they held onto a microphone. And that is how it started.

The name of the podcast is Turning Corners. And in Turning Corners, we deal with people who have come through life and we turn some corners, but we didn't stop. We didn't give up.

Right.

I've had people say, why don't you have co-hosts? Why don't you? That's enough of that shit. Let's talk some real stuff. Let's talk to some real survivors, right? Some people that have been through some things. Could you tell me about a time in your life where you feel like you turned a corner in whatever capacity that you want to? Because we're still turning. Let's be real.

We are still—

we are still turning. But could you tell me about a time in your life where you turned a corner? And you know that was a, a difference maker in your journey?

Well, I'll give you two examples. When I was in high school, and I think this is the corner of me realizing there's— I am— God wants me here. Uh, my— I was on punishment and my mom wanted me to make some red beans.

Now I ain't never made no pinto beans before, but this particular day my mother's like, and if you burn them, you know what it is.

Bet. My brother was like, you know, you're on punishment. My homegirl came over, she had a brand new car. What was the name of that car. I don't even think they make them anymore.

Metros?

Miata? I think it was a Miata. And she was like, you know, we finna go turn some corners, you want to come with us?

And I'm like, yeah, I'll go.

I lived in these infamous apartments back in the '80s called Tiffany Place. And in Tiffany Place, I lived inside the apartments. So on the way out, I told my brother, I knew that pinto beans cooked long. So I told him, "I'll be back in 20 minutes." He said, "If you do it, you burn them, I'm not washing your beans. Mama told you not to go." I said, "It's a bet. I'll be back. She just want to take me to the store. I'm going to the store and back." He's like, "Okay." As we're leaving out, I kept hearing, every time she got to a corner, because the apartments were huge, and every time she got to the corner, a corner to turn, I would hear, "Get out." But I thought it was just me. And when we got right to turn onto the street, the last get out, and he said, "Get out and get out now." I say, y'all, I know I told y'all I was just gonna go to— I said, I can't go.

And they like, but girl, which I said, I cannot go.

I said, but I'ma ride home with you tomorrow. She said, cool. And to make a, a long story short, their car blew up. It was a brand new car, and 3 of my friends died in that car, and I would have been number 4. I know I'm supposed to be here. I know there is purpose because that one particular incident, um, yeah, God said— it was the first time I had actually heard his voice. Talk to me. And when I found out, when I saw it on the news, oh my God, I screamed. I was very inconsolable because I realized I escaped that with the hair on my chin and I was being disobedient, finna go be disobedient.

And God was just like, nah. 'No, you get out. They gotta go. I didn't call you, I called them.

Get out.' And I just now, I mean, at 52, just looking at it and keep thinking about it, I'm like, wow, that's a story that I'll never forget because that's the first time I actually heard God's voice. It didn't sound like anybody. It sounded like— it didn't even sound like me. You know, sometimes they say, well, you know, your conscious Like, nah, God got this ring of his own and you'll know it when you hear it. And him telling me, get out that car right now. When I, when I hit that corner, I knew that if I didn't get out that car, whatever was telling me— wow, I haven't told this story in a long time and it means so much more. The older you get, those type stories mean so much more. The picture for me is even brighter and even wider now. That, wow, I was 17 when that happened. There were no children. There was no marriage. There was no divorce. There was no, you know, all it was was the pain from the rape. And I knew that I could sing, but I didn't know what I was supposed to do with that. It didn't dawn on me, even though in high school I was voted maybe to be a star I was 21. It was never anything that I thought for myself at the time. It just never was. So for me to be doing what I'm doing now, um, no high school diploma, raised 3 children, you know, by myself, it's wild. Because at 32, I moved my children from the South Side to the North Side. And my daughter, she's 33, she said, "Mama, you took 3 kids from a side and moved to a side of town you had no idea about." When I say the North Side was like, I might as well have been moving to Africa because I didn't know anybody on this side of town. I didn't know anything. I just knew South Side to Katy. That's about it. And then Channelview because I had an aunt stayed out there. That's it, that's all. We all migrated into one area, so I didn't have to go outside of my area to see my family. So that, um, The second corner turned in my latter years. The second corner turned in my latter years. I am, I'm actually happily single, but, um, I have a million male friends that when I say protect me at all costs, I don't have worry about, ma'am. Okay, when I got— I had surgery last year, Halloween of 2024. Yes, 2024. Um, so I just celebrated a year. But, um, the outpour of love that came through my Cash App and my GoFundMe, and I'm talking about people paying $500 $200 car notes. People are paying $250 light bills. People are— they made sure I, I had help. My deductible was paid. I didn't have to worry about anything. The money that was raised, you don't really know what impact you have on people's lives until you realize I had more people who didn't know me take care of me than the ones that said, if you ever need me, call me. I hate that statement because if you know I need you, why would I need to call you?

Preach, girl.

I, I—

when someone passes and somebody says, you know, call me if you need me, what makes you think you're on my mind? You already know I need you. That's why you said it. So if you don't know what to do in your time of need, just pray. 'Cause you didn't have to say nothing. God had me anyway. So, you know, don't volunteer what you not willing to do. 'Cause if I say, well, I need $300 for my car note, can you help? And they say, I ain't calling, I can't call you back, or, uh, we'll see. Oh, okay. Well then, so I don't ask people for help. I don't. I'm trying to learn to, um, I'm trying to learn to be vulnerable in that space, but I'm very protective of my own space in that area. So I just be like, because I realized no is a complete sentence just like yes, you know, because yes is always complete sentence. Nobody questions yes.

Come on.

But when you say no to somebody, or I don't have, people get a real attitude. And I'm just like, well, where was this? Why you didn't ask me why I said yes? If you're going to ask me why I said no, it's the same sentence, just a different word. It's a complete sentence though. Yeah. And if you know my character, then you know if I could, I would, but I can't, so I won't.

So let's deal with that for a minute.

Okay.

Because one thing I've learned about people who are very talented, people who have become trailblazers, right? It's a lonely road. Very. It's a very lonely road. It's a lot of backbiting, a lot of, uh, behind the scenes mess that people would never even know before you hit the stage.

Nope.

And I mean right before you hit the stage.

Oftentimes. And that's why a lot of times I'm standoffish before I hit the stage and they be like, why you doing that?

Yeah. Because I'm trying to concentrate.

Yeah.

Um, how has being this major figure that you are— no, I mean, that's just, it is what it is.

It weirds me out.

Yeah.

One of the things that, no, one of the things that has always bothered me about us us being raised in the churches, we, we talk about this humility stuff, and I think there's a balance to that. It is, because I have to be arrogant to get on stage to say I'm going to make all y'all laugh. I have to be arrogant or confident, whichever words you want to use, like, yeah, to walk up to a woman and say, I think you're attractive, can I have your number?

Right.

I don't know you, right? You don't know me, right? But I'm gonna pick you out. So there, there's—

it's a chance we all taking.

Yes, but to get on the stage and you're dealing with mics, you're dealing with, uh, uh, the, the managers, the promoters, dealing with not getting paid, but I still got to be here, people came for me. Um, it's so many different things. How do you balance all that and still get up there? Now we talked about something yesterday with that It's not on the show, but we had a conversation. But yet you still sang last night, and we're not going to talk about that because that's personal stuff. But you still sang last night.

Yeah, yeah.

Most people couldn't get out of bed.

Exactly.

So please inform us, the people who are watching, how do you— because This shit is hard. I'm trying not to cuss. I'm sorry, I'm gonna cuss.

Oh no, I'm a cuss. I'm a cuss. I appreciate it.

I'm trying to be respectful because you got, you know, you're with me.

Yeah, because you know, you know, I'm sorry.

And my mama too. My mama knows I cuss. I'd be telling her at my shows, Mama, I'm sorry, but you know, you know who I am and you know where you came. She just started laughing because what else you gonna do? I got it from her.

Like I did cuss words growing up, Mama.

Yeah, preacher lady. Yeah.

But how do you fight through all that? And how has that affected you? Because one of the things— and I know I'm throwing a lot, but just deal with whatever you want to— because people walking up to you, hey girl, hey.

Yeah.

Yeah, I ain't on stage right now. I'm trying to get some pork chops. I'm looking at this chicken too.

Die.

Okay, I'mma shut up.

Yeah, well, um, like you said, there's a lot that we deal with before we get to be human. It's hard. It gets really hard trying to balance it because I literally sang the day before my dad died and the day after my dad passed. And the last— the day after my dad passed and I did the show, I get my gift of my voice from my dad. My mom can sing.

Okay.

My mom can sing. My whole— my mom's whole side, I used to I used to direct a— I think it might have been 25 of us— a whole a cappella choir. A cappella, no music.

Oh wow.

So my family can sing, but they're not— whoa, they're very— they're a great choir.

Gotcha.

Our voices blend so well that a cappella is nothing for my family. But, uh, the Showboat That's my dad. Okay. He's the one that, uh, he was a, um, uh, studio singer for Earth, Wind Fire and Al Green back in the day. Wow. Yeah. I mean, uh, he had been called to do the, the, he had gotten called for, uh, an audition to be a Temptation. Um, you know, when they started passing and I get my gift from my dad. But my momma always saying, "So you saying we can't—" No, I'm not saying you can't sing, but the showboat came from this guy. California kid from South Central. My momma, country girl from Texas. An Army base brought them together. And when he passed, I just told everybody, yo, you know, y'all pray for me. My dad passed yesterday and everybody's like, what are you doing here? And I was like, well, what am I supposed to be doing at home? The only reason I brought that up was to say, you know, because I got that gift from my dad and before he passed, me and him were really close. I felt like if I didn't sing, I probably would never sing again. Mm.

Wow.

Yeah. So that's why I sang. It built up another kind of strength. I knew he was watching. I didn't want to disappoint him. And I didn't want to necessarily give up singing, but sometimes when I get up, even now, Sometimes I ball my fist up when I'm singing because I'm fighting. I'm fighting through whatever emotional thing. If I'm missing him, you know, if I just hear— We Are One used to be our song, and when he would sing in karaoke, he would take me to sing karaoke when I would come to LA to do shows. Like when I did the Grammys with Beyoncé, he invited Wait a minute. Go ahead. He invited all his friends to the karaoke. You ain't gonna just run past that, but go ahead. Yeah, I'm sure we gonna get to it. We haven't got to nothing musical yet. Okay. But he invited everybody and Jeffrey Osbourne is one of my favorites, but Brown— I like to hear him sing Brown Eyed Girl. And he would sing, he sung Brown Eyed Girl to me in front of everybody. So there are moments when I think of my dad, when I hear certain songs.

And we played We Are One and it used to make me cry when he first passed. I couldn't sing it. And now—

I sounded good, didn't I? Yeah, you did. I did, I sounded all right? Okay, thank you, thank you, Kalon, I appreciate it.

It wasn't that key, but—

She said it wasn't that key.

But you know what, you could pick that key out.

I appreciate that.

That's a real key. It just wasn't a record key, that's all I meant. But it was a good key.

It was a key that you could easily take.

You know what, that's so damn rude. Hurt my damn feelings.

No, that was good. I really meant it.

I meant it. So I mean, I guess getting— now, you know, when I hear that music, it makes me smile. It makes me— I light up, I dance, you know, where I used to just be like, oh my God, in the club, you know, trying to get myself together, drink. Now I'm just like, yeah, yeah, I'm dancing and I'm having a good time. I had to really do that a lot. I've lost a lot of people that mean a lot to me, but I like to celebrate through the memories now than cry when I hear certain stuff or see a picture. I smile more than I cry.

So you, when you're on stage, as you dealing with all the stuff— I, I know comedians including myself who have said they use the stage as a form of therapy at times. Not saying that we don't need therapy, We do. Because I, I, you know, I get tired of Black folks saying, well, just pray about it. No, no, no, no, no. Go talk to somebody. Yeah, go talk to somebody.

Go talk to a person and don't have a dog in your fight. I tell people that all the time. Yes. Go see a therapist, somebody that don't know you and don't have a dog in your fight but willing to help. They gonna give you some options. But we still perform.

I always say a professional is No matter how I feel, I'm going to do my job.

You have a job to do. Other people come in because that's what people don't understand. This is our job. This is not a game. This is not something that we just out here doing and hope somebody pay me. No, I get paid to do this. This is my job. I can't walk off my job.

So let's talk about two people. Okay. And how did that come about? One, you just on the cool. You said, like when I did the Grammys with Beyoncé— wait a minute, cuz people forget Beyoncé from Houston. She is. People forget she from the South. She's ours. She's ours.

She's ours.

And make no mistake, say what you want, that's ours right there. So how did that come about?

When I tell you, God takes care of babies and fools, and I ain't nobody's baby. I promise you. You know, she did a big audition for the girls and everything. One of my best friends— she did audition here. Yeah, she did it here.

If you don't mind me asking, what year was that? Was it Beyoncé? Was it Destiny's Child? Or it was just—

this was Beyoncé, the I Am Sasha Fierce, like with Diva and all of that. Okay. Okay. Um, um, she, uh, one of the girls that's in Background happens to be a very good friend of mine. Shout out to Montina Cooper. Um, she was one of the, the Mamas. She was the, the lead, uh, the lead musician for the Mamas. And, um, she called me one day. I was at home watching TV.

Is that my phone?

I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Get your phone, get your phone.

Okay, so you mean to tell me all this Beyoncé, like, you actually made it? That's, that's crazy. Go ahead, go ahead with the story. I mean to cut you off.

What is even crazier is it was a phone call. Martina called me.

I was sitting down on, I was watching TV, and she said, um, I thought she was calling me to ask me to do things with her because she's an artist. And I used to help her write songs and we would do arrangements.

And she was like, "Yeah, so you want to sing with me?" And I was like, "Yeah, I'll sing with you." I'm just looking at TV and she's like, "Okay, well, you know, we gonna start rehearsal soon." And I'm like, "Yeah, all right." She was like, "Well, we gonna start the Grammy— well, the show is the Grammys first." I said, "What? You about to do the Grammys?" And she was like, "Kay, you haven't been paying me." What are you think— what are you over there doing? I said, this isn't for you. She's like, no girl, I'm calling you to ask you if you want the same background for Beyoncé. I said, oh, okay. Yeah, that's cool.

And she was like, okay.

She was like, uh, because she knows, you know, me being a mom and all that kind of stuff. And my daughter not really being into DC, or, you know, she was a Beyoncé fan, but she wasn't a mania. Oh, she didn't have any mania over it because she was younger than the girls that would be Beyoncé maniacs. So she— I never really, you know, paid it no mind. And because I had started singing background for people at that time It's just a job. I wasn't really, I didn't really care that it was Beyoncé. They had to give me all her records because I didn't have one. I knew what was on the radio.

Right. That's all I got. And they was just like, well, and Mo said, that's why I picked you. I knew you wasn't going to fangirl. You was going to get in there, you was going to get your bread and get out.

Yeah, professional. I said, absolutely. So the young lady that left Chrissy Collins, Uh, she went to go do Tyler Perry. She's, uh, one of Tyler Perry's, uh, premier singers. She used to do a lot of plays. So when she left, I think she hurt her back or something. Something happened with her physically and she couldn't do it. So that's when Montina called me, and that's literally how I walk— I walked in on it. When I came in, she said, your name is T.K.? I said, yes. She said, I'm Beyoncé. I said, "Very nice to meet you." But it was so funny because in the rehearsals, I rehearsed for maybe 2 months before I met her, before we did the Grammys. And that was my very first show with her. And then we— Go ahead, go ahead.

I'm sorry. This is blowing me away.

This is— My very first show with her was the Grammys. And my very— And then we literally left the Grammys at 5:30. I'll never forget because I had dinner with my puppy.

Before we left. Where were y'all at? Cali. Y'all was in Cali? Mm-hmm.

Okay. So we had enough time to get back to the hotel. I packed the night before because I knew I wanted to see my dad before I left. I wanted to spend time. And I was able, I think we did, we got off stage at maybe, I think our showtime was maybe 5 o'clock and we were off stage.

By the time we performed, it was broad daylight. When we left, because we had to get back to the hotel, pack, then get to the private jet line. Okay. Yeah, Beyoncé had a 747 waiting on the band crew, everything.

So she treats y'all good? Absolutely.

Yeah, we were treated very well. And it was just— it was, it was, it was a hot 5 months of being a mama as far as the preparation No, maybe 4 months.

Did y'all rehearse with Beyoncé or?

We rehearsed 2 months and then we rehearsed, I rehearsed the show itself. Okay. And then I was told we were doing the Grammy, well, I was told we were doing the Grammys, but we did the Grammys first. But I was rehearsing for the whole show for those 2 months. Okay. And yeah, it was, it was Uh, so we had to get back to the Jets. So I mean, and I did South America with her, and then I came home.

You just said stuff like, like, I, I know, I know, because, because if you're a fan, you're a fan, right? You know what I'm saying? And I'm a fan of people who just do great in whatever they're doing. Me too. You know what I'm saying? If you're a homeless guy and you're a homeless guy, you just wipe them doggone windows good. No, for real, like, there's an art to it. I seen a video the other day, guy was wiping and he jumping up and down. I'm like, this dude, I would give him a dollar.

Work for your money. I would give him— I'm asking you to do, if you're gonna cut a jig, that's work.

So, so, so, so I gotta ask this one, okay? Because I'm watching One of my top 5 always, right? I always go back and forth with him and Cube.

They just, you know, him because they so—

and that should be his name.

And then I've seen him on the Tom Joyner Cruise and he said something slick about the Spurs, right? And I'm looking like, he and I was comedian. I'm like, nigga, yeah, he started, he so doggone work. Yeah, in case y'all don't know what I'm talking about, I'm talking about Mr. Brad. Yeah, he greets his followers with his hands. You know what I'm saying? Squawface, the king of the South, the lyricist of all lyricists, the musician of all musicians. I'm watching Tiny Desk, I'm like, wait a minute. Now I'm on my phone watching it. I turned off my phone, went in the living room, I said, yo, yo, that's my girl.

Oh my, everybody was like, why are you—

that's how I'm like, how did you How do you even know Scarface? Okay, can we talk about that? Absolutely. Okay. Scarface is almost family.

His daughter is related to my children. I met him back when we were mid-20s maybe, but I didn't really know him. Like I said, my cousin is his child's mom. And she's cousins, first cousins with my ex-husband. Wow. So I'm not related to her, but me and her are like cousins. Right. Yeah. I'm still very close to her to this day, but that's how I met Brad. And then I was in a band.

She's like, I met Brad, like, Miss Jordan.

Okay. I never called him Face. I still have never called him Face. FaceTime. None of that.

I'm a fan. I'm sorry.

I just— Absolutely. I get it. I mean, he family now. I mean, I used to be, but he definitely— one day I got a call from one of my band guys, Corey Stute and Anthony Nicholson. Shout out to the Vibe Orchestra. And they called me and was like, yo, you know, we finna go and see if we can audition to be Face Band. So he didn't pick any of us out. We kind of came as a unit already. We had a sound, and he loved it. And one day he was like, man, I need you to give me something, Cook. Because he called me Cook. Cook, I need you to cook me up something. I need you to give me something. I'm like, I'm like, give you something to what? And he was like, these songs, you know, I need some singers, I need y'all to sing this stuff. I'm like, sing this shit? You ain't even singing this shit. How I'ma sing it? Smile for me.

No, I'm not talking about the smile because that is singing. I'm talking about the, the stuff.

Never seen a man cry till I seen a man die. I made that up. He did the lyrics, but you know, he was just saying there Seen a Man Cry Till I Seen a Man Die. And I started singing it and he was like, yeah, do that. And I was like, what? Okay. But for a long time, uh, I've been in bread. We've been that band, we've been together like 20-some years, but a lot of people don't know that. They think we just got together. They were not accepting of a rapper being a musician that didn't want to be a rapper. He didn't want a million niggas on stage with him. He wanted a band.

He wanted it to look like something. He— excuse me— he is definitely one of the most creative souls, yeah, I have ever met. And when I say can damn near play anything, can't—

plays guitar left-handed. Nobody understands how him and DJ Quick can do that, but I just did a tour with him and DJ Quick and they did that. And I, you know, it amazes people to see him play the guitar the other way. Looks strange because the majority of people are right-handed, but you get those lefties. And, um, that's definitely where he's autistic at. He knows a lot about music. He can see, he has the knowledge. And he actually can hold a couple of little notes and he's very, very precise about what he wants. He's like, this ain't no cover band. You gonna play my shit, you gonna play what you heard on the record because I played it. Mm. I love it. You know, he's very—

he don't play without— he don't play about his sound.

He knows what it sound, what he wants, and the side feels what he want. I mean, to the letter. Brad Jordan.

So last year, I'm on the Tom Joyner Cruise, and I saw— I said, oh snap. And every night, I only think— I don't know if y'all supposed to been doing that many nights, but it got bigger and bigger and bigger, and it kept going. Oh yeah, you know, and shout out to my boy Delpew. He was like, bruh, he knew I'm a fan. No, he knew more words. How you know? You from Baltimore. Oh, that's it, bruh. What? Do you not understand?

Baltimore and DC. Brad's people are from Washington.

Brad's people are from DC. Oh my God.

Yeah, yeah. And yeah, oh, the East Coast. Not even the East Coast. Baltimore and Washington, DC. And I found it interesting that we didn't go to New York. He used to be the president of Def Jam, but we never went to New York for the tours. But the tour that we did, I thought that we would have did the Tiny Desk Tour in New York, but we didn't do it. So, the Tiny Desk is not just in one spot? No, no. The Tiny Desk was in one spot, but we also did a Tiny Desk tour. Oh, okay. Did a whole entire tour. Okay, so the Tiny Desk dropped at 5:30 in the morning, and by 10:00 we had a 30-city tour. By 10:00 it was over 2 million views. Yeah, by 10:00. Yeah, we had to go and take that thing on our side.

Yeah, it ended on the Tom Joyner Cruise last year.

That was the end of our tour. I did not know.

That's crazy.

The last date of our tour was the Tom Joyner Cruise.

Wow.

Because that was also our vacation.

When I tell you y'all killed. And then, you know, most people don't know this, New Edition was there. Absolutely. And Ralph now got up there and they dancing. And then, yeah, you know, D. Ellis on— I mean, everybody would just— I'm like, yo, what are y'all doing?

Yeah. Oh, we had fun.

Yeah, Tank came up. Tank came up there, I think. Yes, he— with a little short self. I'm like, he's jamming. I said, man, this is so great.

I literally have a video I have a video of Ralph Tresvant. It's a song that me and Brad does that everybody is like, y'all need to re-record it and re-record it live and submit it for a Grammy. Y'all would win it. And it's called Steer, the name of the song. And it's called Steer. Okay. And Ralph walked up to me after the show and he was just like, you make me cry.

And I was just like, what? He was like, yo, when I heard you sing that song, it brought tears to my eyes and it made me cry. And I have it on video and I was like, do y'all hear who this is? He was like, no, you. And when I, when, um, when we started, I may, I may have, I, I may, I may have said I'm going to send you that clip, but I thought to myself, like, another turning corner moment. Go on. I was at Tisha Campbell's house.

I know, I don't like to name drop.

I really don't, but that's really where I was. I was at Tisha Campbell's house. Matter of fact, meeting Tisha Campbell was a turning point for me. And I'm— and wow, that must have been why I brought it up. When I met her, one of my friends from Louisiana, from New Orleans, was singing background for her named Franklin. So Franklin had been telling her about me. So when I came and I met her, Franklin was like, yes, you know, this is Kaya. You know, everybody calls her mother at home because, you know, she gives out the advice. She done been with so-and-so. And the more he talks— I'm not a person that likes for people to talk about what I've done in front of me. It makes me feel weird, um, because again, it's just my job. I'm not gonna tell people, man, she good at giving medicine, you know, she a nurse at the hospital, the way she's giving people shots, you know. So when you're talking about what my job— I feel like, why are you talking about my job? You— because I'm not talking about yours. But I keep forgetting that people don't think this is a job. So, but either way, God did it for a reason. So the more he talked about me, the more I just kind of, you know, kind of Yeah, I just kind of regressed in my spirit, like, you know, very shy. And she looked at him and she said, wait, she said, stop. She said, um, do you not know he's been telling me you're the mother and you, you do this and you do that? She said, there's a difference between being humble and being disrespectful. And I said, well, what would make it disrespectful? I didn't say anything. She said, you know what would make it disrespectful? Come on, I already know the story. She said, how dare you stand here with all these accolades? She said, I bet if I was calling you a bitch across the room, you'd be looking up trying to see who said it. This man is telling me all these wonderful accolades and you are fading right in front of my face. No, ma'am, you gonna take it. I want you to look up, look me in my face when you talking about you, because that's you. That's what you did. You should be proud of yourself. Don't, don't, don't check out. Check in, because I could probably put you somewhere. Check in, don't check out. And I was just looking at— and I mean, and she was telling me this on the patio in front of people at her club.

And it didn't matter to me that anybody was standing around.

I'm a tough girl, I could take it. But that's not the point. The point was, she saw me even when I didn't see myself. I still didn't realize that— I still don't sometimes realize I'm that girl. Because I don't subscribe to— I don't subscribe to what in my mind I thought confident people were. Yeah. Because I realized, like you said, I gotta have some kind of balls to do whatever I'm doing, especially being a creative. And I tell people all the time, you got right-brain people that got to go to work on time, they got to go to 9 to 5s, and then you got us left-brain people that be like, you know what, I think I could get paid. Singing and make people pay me thousands of dollars. Okay. Yeah, man. And then people like, well, why would they pay you thousands of dollars? Everybody's singing. Shit. But I'm me and I, that's what I'm gonna go for.

Like creatives are so amazing, but in amazing they become delusional. Mm-hmm. It can get real delusional for us. Yeah. If we don't watch it, it's a slippery slope between what is reality and what is delusion. Because it's not that you weren't standing there with Beyoncé, but you ain't Beyoncé.

Relax, you know, calm down, and, and, and know, know your place. Know when it's you and know when it's not. Know when you're helping and know when it's supposed to be, oh, this is my moment, this is where I shine. Okay, fine, cool. But not when the camera's on somebody else, you know.

You back in the video going off like the Fresh Prince, you know. I'm just trying to be in the video. Why you back there going in? This ain't about you.

Oh my God, this is somebody else's You're not the main character in everybody's story. Please know your place. In every part, in every person's life, you play a role. And sometimes you're extra. You just one of the ones that walk up to them, give them a hug, and walk away. You don't know who, what, you know. No, I don't take myself too seriously for that very reason.

So I, I, I watched the, uh, documentary. I'm sure most people has seen it with, uh, uh, oh my God, Luther Vandross.

Mhm.

I just saw it on the— and he talked about how he was cool being the backup. Mhm. He was okay in the back. Mhm. And if I'm not mistaken, Dionne Warwick was like, nah, bro, what you doing? Yeah. He said, wait, I'm getting paid for these covers, I'm doing this, this, this. And he was like, She was like, nah, it's time for you to get out front.

You know, Lettucey told me, Lettucey told me, you don't know.

Oh, wait, stop. Don't do that. Don't do that. You can't be talking about all these magnificent heroes of mine. Okay, well, Lettucey, okay, I'm listening.

Lettucey pretty much, she pretty much fired me too. She said the same thing. What are you doing behind me? Like, you don't even look right standing behind me. You don't even look— everybody is looking at this big, tall, voluptuous woman standing behind me with all this hair, already having an image of her own. You're already, you're already you. What do you need with me? And I'm looking like, I'm learning everything I know. I'm trying. Let us see. And me and her are 2 days apart in birthday. Wow. So we used to literally call each other Aries when she knew I was— get out your head over there, Aries. But you over there thinking about Aries. We was sitting in the airport and the band would watch us talk for hours. Just, we, we, we, we snapped. We, we really did. And I learned a lot from her.

She taught me some things musically, uh, her, Regina Belle, um, let me just run it down so you don't stop every time.

I'm sorry, I, I, I, I, I know you see my face.

I'm like, I said, you know what, let me just run.

Let me, let me put you on that wide camera right there.

Go ahead, right there.

Okay, so let me just run it.

That you— yeah, do your thing.

I started with Regina Belle. That's my big sis for life. I grew up, of course, "Making It Like It Was" and "Baby Come to Me," and those are still some of my favorite songs I love to hear Regina sing to this day. She taught me about promptness. She taught me how to talk to an audience. She taught me how to glide across the stage. You know, if I wanted to use the stage, she taught me how to bring people into where you are. That's my favorite. I think Lettucey is like that too. I'm not going to be doing all that movement. I'm going to bring you where I am right here, center stage. And every move I make— Jill, she's the same way. She— they don't— yeah, they don't move around. They bring you into where they are. I don't, I don't have to move. I know exactly— I want you to come here. I'm not walking over there to say hi. I'm, I'm gonna lock eyes with you from right here. You're going to be able to see me looking directly at you because I'm— I— this is where my show is. This is right here. And when I do shows, that's where I am. I need to bring the people in here. I do like to dance and cut up a little bit, but for the most part. If I'm singing, I'm standing still. You didn't come to hear me—

you didn't come to hear all of this and see all of this.

You came to see me sing, and that's what I want to give you. I want to give you the full experience. And because I talk with my hands, it's easy for me to keep the mic stand right here, and I can do everything from right here. I don't have to go to my left or my right. Both my hands open, I'm talking to you. Come sit down. Everything that I'm doing, I'm just not walking because I want to bring you to where I am. I want it to make sense. And, um, that makes sense to me. I was raised in the '80s, so being raised in the '80s, them women wasn't dancing. Anita Baker, you know, she do a little dress, but that's it. That's all. Shaka Khan, she gonna stand still. Deal and get your little shoulder work.

You know, we didn't start getting girls that was doing all-out dancing until Janet.

That's true.

Yeah, you know, Madonna, you know, them two, them different types of divas.

I, I, I fool with them too. But the girl Whitney Houston, baby, I'm gonna get y'all this gown.

I'm gonna look stunning, so you ain't gonna want to look nowhere but right here.

Diana Ross did not move, but all eyes was on her?

I Know How to Bring You Where I Am. Another Aries, shout out Diana Ross. But anyway, I mean, so from Regina was LaToya Luckett, from LaToya Luckett was Jay Holiday, from Jay Holiday I did a lot of club background singing for like John B, Sunshine Anderson. Um, girl, then I went from them. I've done JLo, Lettucey, Beyoncé, uh, Shantay Moore. Uh, Shantay, she can sing, yo. Oh my God, when I tell you.

Oh my God, she can sing.

Her and Lettucey, I used to almost cry. I I used to cry hearing them sing. And it's a jazz part that Lettie C would do and the background singers would turn their chairs. So, all you're seeing is our back. It's just full black because we all, of course, were dressed in black. And it would be full black. And I didn't realize that's why we all had to turn. But when I tell you when she was singing, I didn't look around, but I'd be going, "Yaaas, sing!" And the other two girls would be looking like, girl, girl.

And I'd be like, y'all seen this 150 times. This is my second show. Girl, you better sing! I would be screaming at the curtain and she would die laughing like, Aries, how you been, baby? I was back there screaming for my friend because you was singing.

She's amazing. Uh, JLo, I learned a lot from her too. She was really, really cool. Um, Jay Holiday. And it's just like, I've never auditioned for anything. It's just people like me as a person. And personality is a gift too. It come without repentance as well. Come on now. Cause there's some people out here with some badass attitudes. Yes. A lot of talent, but can't go nowhere cause your attitude suck. Yeah. So I'm kind of, I'm privileged to be, again, my daddy was a friendly, friendly guy. My mama, not so much. She not, she not going to be friend. She's friendly, but not really. You understand what I'm saying? Cordial. Yeah. That's what mom is.

Yeah. And, and I get that. Mm-hmm. We sometimes you have to, even in this business. Well, yeah. You don't know what you're dealing with because As you know, there are some people— someone said the worst thing you could ever do is meet your hero.

Yeah, the Lulu land. You know, I've met one. No names.

Oh no, no, this should be named. We love them.

We love them. Hey, love them dearly. But, uh, yeah, met a hero and was like, girl, Okay, they forget that they're regular sometimes. Sometimes they forget that we're all in the same building because we all do the same thing. Now, the people that don't do what we do, that's why they gotta watch what we do. So I'm as special as you because I'm back here with you. I'm not back here as an extra. I'm back here as a main character too.

So let me, let me ask this right here, because I'm paying some bills. This right here is segment called, uh, What's Your Secret Sauce? This is sponsored by Drop the Sauce Barbecue. Okay. And you know, got bills. Yeah. You know, my question to you is, what is your secret sauce? Because everybody don't have what you have. Everybody can't do what you do. The humility The humility is a gift. It is, it is a gift. Most people don't understand. There's a time where you are the teacher, there are times where you are the student, there are times where you are out front, there are times where you're in the back, and it's okay because I'm still the same person, right? No matter where I'm at, right? So I gotta ask you, what is your secret sauce? What makes you stand out? What makes you so adult because of all the things that you've been through in your life, all the things you're still dealing with even in this moment? What makes you stand out?

Wow.

You know, people always say— I think that Um, God is always the source of, of, um, making whatever come to pass stand out, or what you like to call it. Um, I think my sauce is being grateful. Mm, yeah, I don't, I don't think it's No, no, no, people don't get that part. My sauce is gratefulness. It really is. Um, because I know it don't have to be. This is a— I know why people think it's a fairy tale. It's not. It's first of all knowing what it is that you want to do with your life. And once I realized that music was something that I wanted to do, I literally prayed the prayer, God, I want to do what I love and take care of my children. That was my prayer for the last 25 years. All of my children are grown now. Everybody is almost 30, Lord have mercy, if not over 30. Like y'all heard me say, my daughter 33. Yeah, I have a 33, 31, 29 biologically, and a 28-year-old goddaughter whose mom passed when she was 9, so she's mine. So I have 4 kids and I have 5 grandkids. And, um, yeah, grateful I never really— that's why I said I never really took this serious, uh, took myself too serious in it, because I know that in this business you're only as good as your last gig. So come on, I'm always grateful for every last gig, and I wasn't even trying to play on words, but I'm grateful for every last gig. I just told somebody the other day, man, the best thing to be in this business is unbothered.

Wow. Say that, say that.

The best thing to be in any business, but definitely in show business, is to be unbothered because God put you there. There's nothing that anybody can do about where you're going. They play a part in your movie. They're not the main character. You don't have to follow them. You can actually follow your own trail because you belong there. He, he put you there. You didn't— I tell people all the time, don't let nothing surprise God. Suicides don't surprise God. He already knew. He had to get you out of there. Even if you got to take yourself, you gotta go. If you're the only one at home that can do it, it's on you. You're going home now. So God is never surprised at suicides. He's never surprised that you getting a Grammy. He has surprised that Oscar winners— he's not surprised. He's not surprised right now, that president. You're not surprised. Nothing, nothing surprises him. So why does it surprise you? Again, at Tisha Campbell's house, I was I'm sitting in the living room with Don Lewis from A Different World, Cedric the Entertainer. Willow and Jaden Smith was somewhere around, and I'm sitting here and I'm going, God, why am I— why are these people talking to me? Why are they talking to me like they don't know who they are? And he was like, they not the problem. They know exactly who they are. You don't know who you That ain't got nothing to do with them. I literally went in the bathroom and cried because I was in there with these people and I didn't know why they were treating me so very equal. And I mean, talk to me. So what would you do? I mean, in music and this and that. And I'm looking at them like, you are asking me music questions when I saw you, I saw you, Don Lewis, you can sing. You actually sung the Different World first theme song. That's right. That's right. What the hell are we talking about? Are you out here? At first I was like, are they trying to intimidate me? Because I feel a little— I feel attacked. Like, why these people trying to hold this conversation? You're trying to make fun of me. Like, I'm trying to find the edge of why you would even be talking to me. And when I went in that bathroom and started crying, God was like, these are your friends. These are the people that I need you to get to. These are the people that need your counseling. These are the people that you have no idea of advice you can have for these people. You are not here by accident, ma'am. You are here by sheer design, divine timing. Why not you? You're always asking why not me, and now that I'm making you, now you asking why me?

So the thing that you said earlier that I can definitely resonate with, you, you talked about The school you went to. Uh-huh. And you mentioned in the school that you went to.

Uh-huh.

I, I, I heard you say, don't get me wrong, I still got these hands. Yeah. Hold on. Now you instantly was comfortable. Mm-hmm. With saying, I know how to turn these these hands into weapons. I know how to get these hands to hurt you before you hurt me. Absolutely. With no hesitation. None. But the whole time we've been talking, you still can't believe that you are you in a different realm, not in the violent realm that we're comfortable with as Black people.

Come on, come on.

But in a great realm that God has set you in.

Yeah, I did not realize it. You know why?

Because of everything that I had already been through. Okay, there we go.

I did not feel worthy of the space that he showed me I was worthy to be in.

But you just said, are they trying to make fun of me? Right. So we go right back to our primal survival mode. Okay. Yeah.

It was survival mode. I didn't really understand it until I went to the bathroom and was like, okay God, I mean, they're being very, very nice, but I'm not buying whatever nobody's selling. Just in case. Just in case. Survival mode.

Not trusting that, you know, it's already paid for.

You didn't have to buy it. I bought it. I put you in the room. I got the tickets. You just walk through the door. Like you do for these phone calls.

But you worked for it. I did. Let's not shortchange you.

I worked my ass off. Let's be very clear.

You got on stage in tears. You got off stage in tears. Absolutely. You sang when you didn't feel like it.

Absolutely. I sang through absolute pain for 2 years. I just got a tumor removed. That's the surgery I had. I had a 5-pound tumor removed down my stomach. I did a whole tour with Brad when I was on the Tiny Desk. I had a tumor— I mean, a tumor in my stomach. Trust and believe, I was— I, I, I was on so many meds till I had to smoke weed for the anxiety of being on the meds, not knowing when this was gonna come out because my insurance was playing games. Like, God send you through the best and the worst at the same time sometimes. So I'm still grateful, yet God, when you going to get rid of this thorn? I— why, why am I packing this? But yet you're giving me the money to go on tour so that I can have some money to sit on because I'm about to go through a major surgery. God, I just need you to get me through this surgery. I need you to get me through this tour. I can't even focus come to surgery because I'm in pain, wrapped up, medicated.

Even to come and sit down, to sit down and sing, I was medicated for the last 2 years.

So for this to be a full year with no medication— I don't even smoke like that no more because it was all from the anxiety of being ill and trying to You know, therapy is a good thing for that too. That's when I started therapying a lot because I was dealing with the pain and I was dealing with trying to balance the joy and pain of I'm doing what I love, but I'm in so much pain. Shit, I wanna go lay down. My blood pressure high, I got headaches, this belly is hurting, you know. Versus, oh man, this is a tiny desk. If somebody else do this shit, I'm gonna be mad. You started with this nigga, you gonna end with this nigga, you know what I'm saying? So you got choices and decisions to make, and you're not delusional about what's going on. That's exactly what I'm doing. Yes, you're in pain, but you're going to be much better. And when you get out of pain, you're going to be better for whatever pain put you through. You'll know now to take care of your body. You'll know now. You'll know how to deal with your, your physical. You're not getting no older. You got more years behind you than you do in front of you. You better know what to do with them next time. You know what, God, you said my ladder will be greater than my past, and it is, and it's Not over. My hands is itching. I don't know where the money at. Can you got $5? What you got for me? My hands— somebody, I know it's coming. The thing for me, like you said, I don't have to be— I don't have to play front. But Luther Vandross is an Aries too. We don't have to play front.

That's crazy. We don't have to play front.

I can play right here. It's cool. I'm very sure of who I am. I'm very confident in what I do. I can do it solo, but I just enjoy people. I enjoy seeing all of us rise. I don't have to be the only one. I'm gonna cheerlead everybody, but I know everybody not gonna cheerlead me because they know if it came down to a one-on-one— I had a friend, I'm not gonna say no names, but Used to— I would come and support, and instead of them accepting the support, they would want me to sing. Okay, but they hated when I gave the mic back because people like, you gonna sing another song? No. But the thing for me is, when I come to see you, let me come and see you. Let me come and see you.

Ask me before putting me on the spot. Mm-hmm. Because if you hand me that microphone, I'm gonna murder it every time. Murder every time. Because you trying to prove a point that you know me, and I'm gonna prove a point to you to stop playing with me in front of all these people. Yeah. Don't play with me like that. Yeah, play nice. Don't catch me off guard.

Don't think that, oh, you know, we got KX in the building, so girl, you want to sing something? No. Oh man, sing something. I don't want to sing something. You getting paid, okay?

Don't blame me.

But then don't be mad when your people calling and asking me the next week to come and play at your gig. I don't want to.

I was just proving the points of that person. Don't do that to people because people do come in here with intention to take your job. I don't ever put people on the spot. I ask before all the time, you want to sing something? If you don't want to sing, then you don't have to. And I make sure they understand they're not obligated because when I say no, it's a whole sentence. Yeah. No, not tonight, baby.

I came to support. That's a bit because now they all understood. I don't have to prove it no more. I don't have to keep saying it no more.

I, we, we, yeah, I have to ask. Okay. Before we get you out of here, um, relationships, because As a man, men don't understand women's emotions, and women can't understand our pride. Oh, how does a person who's at the Grammys, Tisha Campbell house, um, Tom Joyner Cruise, on the tour with Scarface and all these different— you just in all these different rooms, you know, you have all this light everywhere you go. How does that work with trying to date someone, trying to be you and not that person on stage? Oh my God. How, how does that compute? Because it has to be difficult for yourself and you don't want to shrink. You can't shrink.

That's not who you are. Oh my goodness.

Uh, and I know we over time.

I'm sorry.

Look, I got time for this because I want to know.

It is very, very hard dating and being a musician. A lot of musicians have a lot of reputation. Um, I was gonna say not too many females, but yeah, I know some females that got some reps too. And the thing about it is it is very hard hard to be taken seriously. But when guys meet me, they either want to become the star of the show again. They, they seem to think they're the main character instead of supporting. They start to compete, um, they start to— I hardly invite into my music world anymore because they get more enthralled than I am. I'm a musician that a lot of me, my friends aren't musicians. A lot of my friends are common people I grew up and went to school with. I still hang with my high school buddies. I'm not the girl that cares about the newest musician that's singing their head off. I don't, I don't give a damn. I'm 52 years old. I don't give a damn. I don't care. And not that I don't care about what's going on, I don't care in as in competition-wise. I don't care, you know, because I know what I'm capable of and I can only do what I'm capable of. Like, I could never do what they were capable of anyway because God gave that to give to them. Again, I'm a person, I celebrate all of the gifts of all of the people. I don't have to sound like so-and-so, and they don't have to sound like me. It can be, hey, we're both great in our own right. And people are going to have their opinion of who they think is better than who because it depends on taste. Whatever your taste is, you know, it's kids that run all up and down the street that I'm not interested in, and the runs be perfect. I'm not interested. Can you sing? Because see, I was taught technical. All that vibrato, are you doing that? Are you making yourself do it? Some people have a natural vibrato, some people do not. Majority of people do not. But because the way they learned it, the way they learned in Black church, all of that, it plays a part in how you sing. That's why my teacher was so adamant about, no, you're not going in Black church and singing that shit. And I would just be like, but I'm singing unto the Lord. She would be like, no. So, but it's hard to be in a relationship with somebody.

It's, it's, so how do you deal with the other side of it? The loneliness. The emptiness, because let's be real, sometimes we come off stage and we just want to be us. Yeah.

And you want to, especially when you come off stage to a great night and don't have nobody to tell it to. And man, it was a great night. You know what? It's— I've been single for quite some time now and I don't— I'm not alone. I don't get lonely. I'm just alone. I'm not lonely though. I have people, like I said, I have great friends that love me that'll listen all over the globe. I just call somebody that's up and tell them, you know. I don't spend it wishing on something. Something that I don't have, which wishing I could tell it to somebody that I loved. I am telling it to somebody I love. I just don't sleep with them. Gotcha. So I'mma share it regardless. I'm, I'm, and I'mma be just as enthusiastic. I think that I'm at, I'm at an age where, uh, and I've been married before, so I'm not out here looking for no damn husband. That's probably why these men think I'm kind of mean now 'Cause I be like, child, don't piss me off. I can pay my own bills. Don't piss me off. I can satisfy myself. Don't piss me off. We good. So I don't, I don't have, yeah, no, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't have the wish and want to, I would love to be a wife, but I've already been a wife. If I'm never a wife again, that shit is hard. It's an institution that'll send you to one if you with the wrong person. Mm-hmm. So I don't, I definitely don't jump in and out of relationships. Like I said, I've been single years, single and sometimes celibate. I don't have a problem with— I'm a girl that I— my steps are ordered. My mom was a preacher. My daddy was not. Was not. But, uh, I just have definitely come to a place in my life when you, when you know who you are and in the fullness of who you are, that's when God will send who you need. Yeah. And I think that I know who I am. So right now I have, I'm building the friends for this these 50s don't look like my 40s.

So I— there's a new, a new group moving in, and I'm realizing that there's a group that is—

that God has eased out. There's no hatred, no anything. We're not friends anymore, but in that manner that we used to be, but I don't have any ill will towards you. You were there for the season you were supposed to be. Yeah, I'm in a new season of my life, and there's new people in those seasons. Some people get to come in and make guest appearance. Again, it's still my movie. I can write you out as sure as I invited you in. I can write you out.

So I, I'm in a better understanding of that now. Not everybody is, is worthy of your time. Not everybody, um, understands you the way you would even want to. I am a spirit living in a vessel, having a human experience. Whatever it is that you want me to experience of you, you'll show me. Some people will show you an asshole. Some people will show you a sweetheart. Some people show you a heartbreaker. Some people will show you how to go get it. Some people will show you a hustler. Some people show you how to be empathetic. Empathetic. Some people will show you how to be a leech. Some people— everybody has their role, and everybody has whatever it is they want you to experience them. And sometimes it's just not a good time for them, so that's why you got an asshole. They're not one to everybody, but you caught that because of whatever your energy was toward them. That's what they showed you. And sometimes it be good energy, but people, a lot of people don't know how to accept good energy.

It's true.

Because of, again, we're always in survival mode. I'm in survival mode a lot. I don't, I don't feel safe with men. I don't. And for the reason of the trauma of me being a child, my innocence being taken before I even knew whether men was cute or not. I was still with towels on my head singing New Edition songs in the mirror. And you snatched my innocence right at the beginning of my femininity. So now, when I was in school, I was quicker to fight a man than I was a woman because I wanted to fight a man.

That makes sense.

Yeah. Yeah. Let me put my hands on you the way you put your hands on me. Take something from you. And, and I— that's why music saved my life. That's why music saved my life. It really did. If I can be— my, my life right now at 52, in this particular place, in this space right now, is gratefulness.

It is. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Um, do me a favor. Mm-hmm. Leave that camera right there. Let people know what you have going on. Let people know where they can find you, how they can find you.

Okay. Um, I am on Instagram. I do not have a Facebook, so if you see me on Facebook, Facebook is a lie. TikTok is real. Uh, I think I have the same name on both. K-A-I. The A and the I is long.

That's like, 'Kai.' It don't.

It's K-A-I. My name is TKI. K-A-I for short. So, um, K-A-I underscore the number 2 real, and that's how you can find me. You'll probably see my Gumby. I'm not even sure what picture's up now. Yeah. But that's how you can get in touch with me. If you want to email me, I'm not really big on email, so don't even worry about it. Get to me though on Instagram. You can probably get to me faster on Instagram than anything else. And I do respond. She does. I will respond. Sometimes when I'm not busy, I definitely will respond. Um, if I'm not busy, I, I'll get back to you, um, regarding business or just if you want to chitchat, if you're not too creepy. I go and check people's stuff like, you haven't had a picture since 2019, why are you contacting me, sir or ma'am? Yeah, I don't deal with weirdos. Don't, don't do me on here creeping through people pages. Yeah. Yeah, I know so many creepers. I be like, oh, you don't have nothing going on, I'm not gonna follow you back.

But if you got something going on, and even if it's everyday life, as long as I know that you're posting, I'll follow you back if you seem interesting enough. If not, I'm sorry.

She's like, Mika, like, eh, you don't deserve it.

Okay, you know.

I wanna tell you, thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. It has been a very healing experience for me. Yeah. Hopefully, you know, hopefully I know that God was in this.

Absolutely.

And for those of y'all that have watched, thank y'all for joining another episode of Turning Corners with your boy Ray Can't Get Right. I holla.

Yeah.