The Ray Sorrell Show

Oh yes.

They must have fell and bumped their head. Welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome. God damn it, welcome back to the Ray Sorrell Show. I'm your host with the most, that damn fool, that nigga right there, Ray Can't Get Right Sorrell. Oh my goodness, I have missed y'all. It's been a while, it's been a while. I got my ladies with me, you know what I'm saying? Hope all to the good. Mary, I'm real with it, you know what I'm saying? Like, we're ready to get it in. Today's topic is Ghana, Ghana, Ghana, Ghana, Ghana. We're gonna talk about Ghana, we're gonna talk about that, we're gonna talk about, uh, the Door of No Return, we're gonna talk about a whole bunch of things, you know what I'm saying. So y'all go ahead and push the share button, push the like button, do whatever thing you need to do, uh, we're gonna, we're gonna get it in, like for real, like we're gonna talk about some deep stuff, but we're gonna be ignorant too. You know what I'm saying? We got to be ignorant because I ain't seen y'all in a while. I ain't seen y'all a while, you know what I'm saying? I ain't seen y'all a while. It's been a while. Well, I was away, some shit happened, some stuff happened. I don't know, y'all tell me what's going on. Y'all go ahead and push it. I see y'all already logging in. I appreciate y'all, appreciate y'all. Do not go nowhere, please. Lord, we gotta rewind just for a little bit because some stuff on my mind that we haven't talked about yet, so don't y'all go nowhere, okay? Keep it locked to the Ray Sorrell Show.

We'll be right back.

I was born by the river, mm, in a little tent, whoa, whoa, just like the river I've been running. Ever since. It's been a long, long, long, long, long, long time coming. But a change is gonna come. Oh, yes it will. It's been too hard to live like that. But I'm afraid to die, 'cause I don't know what's up there beyond the sky. It's been a long, long time coming, but I know that a change is gonna come. Oh, yes, I will. Oh, then I go to my brother, mm, and I say, brother, help me please. But it was a road knocking me down, knocked down on my knees. Oh, oh, there was a group of I would have left much longer, but now I'm unable to carry on. It's been a long, a long time coming, but a change is gonna come. Oh yes, we will.

August 1st, come out and check us out at the Municipal Auditorium. They must have fell and bumped their head. They must have fell and bumped their head. They must have fell and bumped their head. Welcome back, welcome back to the Ray Sorrell Show. I'm your host with the most, Ray Can't Get Right Sorrell. I am so excited to hang out with y'all today. Y'all don't understand. I missed y'all. I missed y'all. I missed y'all. But more than I missed y'all, I missed these two beautiful ladies.

Hey y'all! Hey, how you doing, sugar?

We good. I'm good.

I've always been alone.

Oh my goodness, she said yeah, just a little bit. Uh, well, it's because y'all, y'all deserve it. Because here's the thing, We didn't see y'all the last show. Hope was down, Mary, you was down. I'm like, yo, yo. And it was not the same. Shout out to the guest who was there that week, but it was not the same. I need my ladies. I need to get strong.

I'm trying to get some good kudos.

Whatever, whatever, because you know my birthday passed, I ain't getting nothing. But anyway, I was just saying Because I want some honey wings, you know what I mean?

That's pork chops, you know.

How you doing, girl? How you doing?

Good, good, good. I am good, chilling like a villain. Take it back to the '80s already.

She said chilling like a villain.

Yeah, we went back today.

Everybody watch the show like, uh, oh well, we don't really talk like that no more.

Yeah, but I'm just, you know, I was sick, I was out of it. So you take it back, take it back, take it back, take it back.

Wow, this is funny. Okay, Miss Mary, um, I'm Real With It, how you doing, girl?

I'm doing wonderful, I'm doing great. Glad to be back, sir. Glad to be in the land of the living, Lord.

He said the land. Living. You know what, listen, listen, all jokes aside, all jokes aside, when you get sick, like, you really do start, you know, you know, you was a kid, you just want to go out and play. As you get older, you'd be like, Lord, that's you? Is that you, Lord?

No, me. I said, come on, because I can't cough again.

Oh Lord, it seemed like that COVID, man. And, and I pray, Lord have mercy, whoever experienced that them aches and pains ain't the same, baby. That thing ain't no joke. So I'm grateful.

I am so grateful.

Yes.

Yeah, I'm grateful.

I am grateful for the things that you have done.

Get that vibrato.

Oh my God, I'm so excited, y'all. I'm so excited. I'm saying people log in. How y'all doing? Make sure y'all push the share button, you know what I'm saying? Go ahead and put the likes and them hearts let us know you there, you know what I'm saying? Y'all don't understand sometimes when I look down and I see a whole bunch of hearts and I see a whole bunch of likes, I just grin like—

ooh!

They really love attention y'all.

No no it's not attention, it's letting people say we really appreciate what you're doing.

Yeah but I said he loves the love so give him the love.

That's different than 'I love attention.' I mean I like attention too, tell the truth.

Like I'm just so far off Mary, like I'm so far off.

I was trying to be humble, I just can't make up my mind. I wanted to come, you know what I'm saying? Look, man, before we get started, we got to talk about the door no return. We're going to talk about all that, everything Ghana tonight. But yes, Milka, I got to start with this. Like, I, I got to start with this.

After 5 weeks of testimony from more than 45 witnesses R. Kelly was found guilty in court on Monday.

Justice!

We did not give it up!

That's one of R. Kelly's attorneys after a federal jury in Brooklyn handed out the guilty verdict.

To the victims in this case, your voices were heard and justice was finally served.

Real name Robert Sylvester Kelly, the singer faced one count of racketeering, a federal charge that focuses on organized criminal activity and the collective enterprise of individuals carrying out the illegal activities. According to the initial indictment, the enterprise in this case includes Kelly as well as his managers, bodyguards, drivers, and others. Kelly was also found guilty of 8 violations of the Mann Act, a federal law that prohibits sex trafficking. The charges date back decades and involve 6 complaining witnesses. Since first being indicted by a grand jury in 2019, Kelly has maintained his innocence on all charges.

I have pursued many sexual predators who have committed crimes against women and children. Of all the predators that I have pursued, however, Mr. Kelly is the worst.

Kelly's defense team called 5 witnesses, while federal prosecutors ended up calling 45 witnesses to the stand. One of these witnesses, a former tour manager for Kelly, testified that fake IDs were used to clear way for him to marry a then 15-year-old Aaliyah. Prosecutors said that Kelly wanted to use a marriage to shield himself from criminal charges. Aaliyah was one of 8 people who later died in a plane crash in 2001. Another witness told the court that Kelly prevented her from watching the documentary series Surviving R. Kelly, as well as intimidating her into covering for Kelly during his 2019 sit-down with Gayle King.

I'm fighting for my fucking life. Y'all killing me with this shit.

I can't help dying here.

I'm about to fucking drown.

Robert, sentencing for Kelly is currently set for May 4th. He's facing potentially decades in prison. Kelly is still facing additional charges in Illinois and Minnesota.

All right, let's, let's, let's shit, let's talk shit.

I need Robert. Robert, you know, girl, you know what that Robert means. She really wants to be Robert. Don't let these cameras fool you, girl.

Robert, listen, Robert, listen, can we just— I mean, look, we haven't been here, so I haven't had a chance to talk about— I know everybody and their mama been talking about it, uh, people been inboxing me, what do you think about this, what do you think about this? I think I'm in Ghana. We barely got a signal. Like, I ain't talking about R. Kelly with my one signal. Um, can we talk about this for a second? Just for a second. I'm looking at the fake outrage on Facebook.

Talk about it.

It's really getting on my damn nerves. Do you think people really that mad, or they just jumping on the bandwagon because is something to do.

They jumping, they playing double dutch, baby. They are playing double dutch.

For real, for real, for real.

School, like, my turn, my turn, my turn.

Yeah, let me get in here, let me get in here.

Yeah, double dutching.

Yeah.

Okay, okay, because I looked it up, it was in '95. August 31st, actually, that he married Aaliyah. Michael Jackson's birthday, that's a whole nother thing. But anyway, um, you know, I've been jamming R. Kelly for a long time, even after he peed on the girl.

Even after, even after he peed on that little girl. Let me see that little girl. But let me tell you something, that wasn't the first time that little girl had somebody pee on her. Yeah, like a newborn baby. She took that pee like a newborn to a diaper. Because I would be like, yeah, that newborn come out and push it out, let it go. They don't think twice about it. And as soon as you change them, they like, oh, I'm so glad you still work here, get that for me, handle that, handle that. Yeah, she took that pee like a newborn baby. I was like, that ain't no child. Even if she was a child, she was a child. She, like they say in Louisiana, that, that girl belong— that's dick baby.

Cause honey, okay, so can we— all right, there's a lot of outrage. A lot of niggas pissed off. I ain't listening to R. Kelly no more in public.

Oh, oh, public, exactly. Because nigga, when Honey Love come on, girl, say wait, girl, then get over to their house. What they play? I don't see nothing wrong.

I will say this, there's certain songs that kind of jump out a little bit more, you know. My mind's telling me no, shit. Yeah, but my body—

what?

Hit it, hit it, hit the note, hit the note.

My body is telling me yes, baby, baby, shit.

He was telling us in the music. He's been telling us exactly, Hope. He's been saying And then he said the screenplay where they escorting the babies down to the sex dungeon, baby, checking the ID.

This is what he said though, listen to the words. There's something I must confess. This motherfucker said confess. This nigga said I'm gonna drink, I'm gonna drink. He said confess. That's what he said, y'all. That's what he is now, con.

Yes, he said that.

Age ain't nothing but a number.

Yeah, she was talking about it too. Bless her heart, I love her though.

Listen, y'all, I'm gonna say this because Facebook kicked me off the other day when I was saying my points. Matter of fact, I feel like I shut down Facebook. Facebook went off for a whole day. It was because of me. Everybody that wasn't on Facebook, it was me.

It was, it was, it was me.

I did.

Listen, y'all, it's been a lot of people been telling us shit that we need to pay attention to. Yeah, what's that song by Keith Sweat?

Man, you trying to make me remember something.

I'm like, which one?

Oh my God, I'm gonna tell y'all, I mean, because I'm old, I've been drinking and smoking already. Uh, Keith Sweat says something, um, you may be young but you're ready.

Yes, I'm gonna need you to wind that. Don't talk there, Keith Sweat.

Wine.

Ready to love. You're not a little girl, you're a woman. What the fuck? Now, now, I'm not gonna put this on Keith Sweat. I don't think he's done anything. No allegations have come out. That way I won't get sued. But it's quite interesting. That's all I gotta say. Just some interesting shit been going on. Also, all y'all fake mad people out here that's mad at me, they may inbox like I really read that shit. Ah, some of y'all, some of y'all little fast tail heifers. In high school was getting picked up by them drug dealers, about 30, 35, and them Cutlasses.

And he still got a curl, and you still got a curl, and y'all still together.

It's about 26 years later.

Because a lot of my grandparents, if we go by this, started young. Now this is what people tell me, oh, that was a long time ago, that was the way things were.

You're right, you're right.

But tell me if I'm wrong, when young girls— what'd you say the other day, quinceañera? That was called quinceañera, the Spanish kids, quinceañera. Okay, when they turn 15, they start dripping. I told it right. They start dripping.

I didn't say that.

They normally mean—

I don't think you said that.

I did not. I have too many daughters.

That's what I heard.

So don't none of you helpers line up and say, Mama said we drip. No, she did.

Okay, so here's the thing, because I was looking at the thing, and maybe y'all can correct me. R. Kelly has not been convicted of messing with underage kids here. It's been sex trafficking, which if you read it, it's a very broad thing to do. Basically saying the woman went against her will, which I think is fucked up.

I think it's—

I think that's a lie.

But when we found out about Aaliyah— go ahead, girl.

I was gonna say, but you know, that's like they had a father that was standing, saying he was standing in front of the gates, not too long ago, a few years ago, and he was crying. He was saying that his daughter was in there and he knows that R. Kelly has his daughter and all this kind of stuff. And I'm like, and the police not doing anything, you know, nobody's backing that up. So, and like you said, yeah, and you, like you said, R. Kelly, R. Kelly, to me, the reason why I don't jump on the bandwagon, so I'ma just say this A long time ago when they used to have lynchings, people would get their children, they would pack picnic baskets, grab a watermelon and cut it up and watch them lynch Black people. So to me, that's what we're doing. Everybody's trying to be funny and say, oh well, like, uh, what is it, Boondocks? They made the comment that R. Kelly can do whatever he wants as long as he keeps making good music. That to me, that's mixing apples and oranges. Who said that?

Who said that?

Boondocks. On Boondocks, they had a whole, whole little cartoon about it. So my thing is, when, when he did the interview, when they did, uh, the whole thing, the lynching of R. Kelly, or whatever they called it— I called it the lynching of R. Kelly— so I'm not going to jump on a bandwagon anytime that they do anything to somebody Black. I'm just— that's just me. Right or wrong, I'm still not going to gather in a crowd and scream the same exact thing that everybody else is screaming, you know. That's just not me. Like, uh, so I'm not— I'm—

I don't—

I don't condone— he wouldn't have got to sleep with my daughter. Hello, say that again. Say that for the people. Got to sleep with my daughter. But then again, I'm not in charge. Yeah, of their vaginas. So where I'm sitting here saying what my child— you know, my child wouldn't have done that, my child wouldn't have done that— and then she could be another room right now texting somebody talking about what she gonna do with her thing. So you don't— you never can say what your child will or won't do. But for me, you not going that hard for Harvey.

You didn't go—

Matt just quit his job, you know what I'm saying? Matt just quit his job, and this dude had a desk with a button that when you walk in, he pushed the button and you are locked in his office and you cannot get out.

Matt Laurie, right?

Yes, Matt Laurie. And then one day, live on the show, he didn't realize that they were filming him live, and the, um, the lady that was on the show she leaned over like this and her shirt opened a little, and he— all his attention went straight to her shirt, and he, he said something sexual about her chest and stuff, and nobody said anything. And then, like, back in the day, John Belushi is not with us, because if he— if you wanted him to do a show, you wanted him to come on your radio show, you wanted him to come on your TV show, you wanted him to make your movie, baby, 8 balls was on the table. He didn't want to talk about no money. He want to talk about 8 balls. But you got Chuck Berry— like Chuck Berry said when they arrested him, he like, y'all arrested me? Yeah, yeah, y'all do know Elvis Presley married a child, right? Y'all do know old boy married his cousin, right? Yeah, but you arrested me for some weed? Like, weed, weed was bad until white people decided it's not so bad. So they gonna give us free? They gonna let everybody out?

Elvis Presley.

And she was a child. Yeah, she was a child. So it's good to hand the children over as long as they say it's okay. So it's, it's— yeah, so we can come here, we can do your work, and we can do all these things, but until we start— once we start saying, well, I got money, I'm just— I'ma act like the white man. They gonna always tell you you're not the white man. And aura, they had showed you that with Michael Jackson. They had showed you that with Tiger Woods. No matter what you do, no matter how much money you have, you can't rub the green on you and wash away the black.

And, and let's do— let's not forget about Adrian 45. Oh, he bragged about grabbing them by the pussy. That's a sexual So, so this is my thing. I, I, listen, I do believe R. Kelly is guilty.

Yep.

I do believe he needs to go to jail. I do believe that. I, I, there's no doubt about it. I believe Bill Cosby was guilty, you know what I'm saying? I believe— but Harvey Weinstein was guilty. Um, Trump was guilty. Some of these people that are fake mad, their uncles are guilty.

Come on, talk about it.

Them daddies, them grandfathers, that they just— they sit them on your lap. Because when I was growing up— talk about it, Ray Sorrell— you don't sit on a grown man's lap. You just don't do that.

You don't.

So I'm trying to understand. Don't get me wrong, I think everything is— is— yes, you're supposed to be in jail and everything else, but if we're going to be mad Yeah, we also have to tell ourselves that we're wrong because we supported it. Yeah, interview— there was an interview by— well, we didn't support the actual crime, but we just turned a blind eye like we have done in so many other situations.

You know what I'm saying?

I think that we— what we, what we did was— there are so many— there's always something negative. They're never going to come out and say something positive. So I think that when we heard the rumors— because my daughter asked me, she was like, mama, they were saying this in the '90s. I said, they were. They were saying it in the '90s. I said, but you got to think about it. In the state of Texas, if you 12 and 13 years old and you want to get married, I can sign the paper and you can be married. So when we heard that Aaliyah and him were married, we didn't know if that was true. We didn't know if that was false. We didn't know if her parents signed for it. We didn't know what them people got. Just like when they come— when Judson High School used to come on over to the east side and grab folks from the east side, east terrace off East Commerce, and drag them over there to the other side. Throw it in there. Up here, my mama living in a house with cement walls, cinder block walls, and you talking about a house Where you need me to throw that ball at? Because every boy wants to do for his mom. Every girl wants to impress her father and be that lady to her father. So when we heard about it, I wouldn't say we turned a blind eye. I would just say we weren't sure. And we don't live in Hollywood. We don't know all of those in the— in and out. We've heard of the, um, producer's couch and things like that, and what you got to do, something strange for some change. But everything we do, we got to do extra and more stuff than the next person. So like, oh girl, being the Selma Hyde, being in the shower, and Harvey come in there, like, girl, what happened? Where was that Latin blood? You should have whooped his ass and then apologized afterwards.

Yeah.

But see, and here's my thing. I wanted to play the song, but I'm like, Facebook going to kick me off. Life Changes got a great song about— oh yeah, he uses R. Kelly, you know, uh, beat and everything else, but he talks about the fact that some of these women were grown, should have left, but they were chasing the money. You talk about some of these parents, some of these uncles, and I have a daughter, I got nieces, you know what I'm saying, I got, uh, a sister, nigga. That shit ain't going down, give a damn how much money you got. I think that sometimes we have to just be honest with ourselves and say, you know what, y'all, some of us was complicit, you know what I'm saying? It was complicit because it's something about— and we're gonna actually— it kind of goes into what we're talking about tonight, um, as far as the door of return and everything, the door of no return. Mentally, we're so hurt. Sometimes we allow pain on top of pain, on top of pain, and we ignore other people's pain.

That's just like on the movie, and I know it's a movie, but that's just like with Ike and Tina. You seen on the part where her mama took the money when he, he conveniently stepped on the flowers and wasn't nothing wrong, and she was just, you know, she was— had low self-esteem. I get it. The life story documentary, but at the same time, she basically sold her soul to him for the money. Basically, the money— you was living vicariously through your daughter. And a lot of parents live through their daughters, and they give them up to those men. And that, that has been time and time again, and it's not a blind eye. But then you try to justify it by saying, I'm living a better life, but you're killing— just like Ray Sorrell said— the mental capacity Now you are not pure anymore. You don't have anything to give back because it was stolen.

It was taken from you.

And that's trafficking.

That's like tripling.

I can't even talk.

But I, but I just don't— when it comes to this sex trafficking, I just don't think that that's new. I don't think that that's the, the, uh, millennium crime. I don't. I think that kids, Black children, have been missing, and I think that they've been doing it. Yeah, but now that they done— now that Liam Neeson's daughter done got taken 3 damn times, it's a problem, you know what I'm saying? It's a problem. It's not about what it is, it's who it is. Exactly. Because there was a white woman trolling my neighborhood and she supposedly had a puppy in her car. And so, yes, Sky, I'm gonna tell the story. And so, Sky who weighed all the 20 pounds up until the 7th grade, don't lean in the car, tell my— let me help you find your dog. I tore her butt up, tore her butt up. I whooped her brothers and I whooped everybody. And I say, because this helping them describe what the dog looked like, what the inside of the car looked like, what's this, what's that. And I told him, they could have just snatched you. And absolutely no one is going to help me look for Sky.

That's right.

You know, yeah, the East Side Yeah, the Mom Association, the NAACP, but News 4, 5, and 12, and 29 ain't gonna move and tell them because I will never forget when that little girl Heidi was missing.

Yep.

A few days later, the little Mexican girl came up missing and everybody was trying to look for her and they, they literally looked at all the Blacks and Hispanics and they said to us they took Heidi. Why would they take her? And they found both kids together, like 3 feet apart.

Okay, and also, let's watch, let's watch this. Um, let me just read a couple of these comments. Arissa says, so many of mainstream America has been guilty of rape, incest, racism. A whole nother thing. When I was growing up, here was the word, nickel nickel. Penny penny, kinfolk coochie, just as good as any. What the fuck?

What?

You thought I just made that up? Yes, yes. If you wasn't anything past second cousin, you can goose. Like, what the fuck?

That's why—

no, I'm— listen, y'all, I'm telling y'all, it has been part of the process, and R. Kelly is the face of it right now, which I think he has— he should be, because this dumbass Um, but let me say this right here. This is something I learned, uh, while I was doing, you know, counseling, all the other stuff back in the day. I didn't know, and I don't know if y'all knew this, but when you are a sexual predator, when you are, um, you have those feelings towards kids, right? Do you know you can't even tell your counselor? You can't tell your psychiatrist because they have to report it.

Oh yeah.

So even if you have those feelings and you say, okay, I know this ain't right, I want to do something better, you can't because they're going to take your kids.

Yeah.

And you automatically going to be labeled as a sexual predator. So I think some things need to happen. I don't know what the answer is. I'm gonna tell y'all the truth, I don't know what the answer is. But I just wanted to touch on that because it is real in our, in our communities. These are things that we don't talk about. I've dealt with so many women as a single Black man And y'all know I only date Queens. That's all I date. I'm sorry, I just— a Puerto Rican lady was trying to holler at me today. I'm like, you're close, I need to— I need that African.

I need your curl to be just a little bit tighter.

But she was fine though, she had a Black woman shape and everything. But I said, uh, I know the slave ship stopped over there, but I need—

it did, it did.

I need that nose to flare out just a little bit more.

Just a little bit.

You know what I'm saying?

Something I need her to do this when I ask her a question, she don't want to answer it. I need her to do that.

Look, I know a lot of people been tuning in, they've been asking about Ghana and stuff. I just wanted to, um, you know, start off with some, some, some, you know, some stuff because we're gonna get serious in a minute. And, um, if, if you are dealing with that, if you have been molested, you have been dealing with rape some stuff people don't talk about, men and women. Please get some help. Yeah, go to counseling. Um, you can't pray that stuff away. Don't get me wrong, prayer works, okay? Prayer does work, but some of our, our ways of looking at life is because of things that happen to us in our childhood. And I'm on this journey of trying to fix some stuff that, you know, happened you know, with myself. Not necessarily that I haven't been molested or anything like that, but I've dealt with some things growing up and I'm like, that shit wasn't cool. And mentally, I didn't know I still carried it. But as I'm going through the journey of trying to be a better person, I'm realizing like, shit, some of this stuff still is in me.

Yep.

So we're going to take a quick break because, uh, yeah, I want to talk about Ghana. Everybody's been asking about different things and stuff like that. I want to talk about Ghana, so don't y'all go anywhere. We'll be right back. Keep it locked to the Ray Sorrell Show. They must have fell and bumped their head.

Reach one, reach one, man. When you reach one, you teach one, you feel me? Always remember, man, no matter what you going through in your life, man, you know, going through it for a reason.

Believe that.

I used to dream about a Phantom, big boat with a big house. Ain't worried about them haters that's running their big mouth saying this about me, saying that about me. If I was still in them streets, it won't be jack about me. But when you living for God, the enemy gonna test you. But if you fight to the end, Lord will surely bless you. I'm ready for war, and I ain't talking about carnally. Top 5 dead or alive, that's not arguably bars. Your sneak dissing ain't bother me. I've been forgiven, there's no need for apologies. I spit the truth, and the truth make it hard to breathe. I'm on my knees hollering, Father, please. Big guns rip through your artery. Born thuggin' in school, I studied trigonometry. Walked with the demons, now I'm flyin' with the angels. The hate is real, I can feel it from all angles. But the love's even realer. I just wanna know how God could have love for us sinners when we hate each other daily. Fightin' and pullin' triggers, then got the nerve to say that we brothers and we sisters. I'm too old for this. Frustrated and sick and tired of Dr. King and Malcolm X died for by the hands of the government. So when they see us killing each other, you know they loving that. A lot of brothers in prison thinking their day is over, would have beat their charge but couldn't afford to pay a lawyer. This system is so corrupt that some cops could not be trusted. They'll murder you in public. But me, see, I ain't bugging. It's something that we all know. My Lord and Savior was murdered in public also. Right in front of his own mama. I told my old homies to deal with their own drama. I got a son to raise, got time for no bullcrap. But to protect his life, I quickly pull straps and get back in them streets and attack with the heat. I want it down, but now I'm back on my feet. Learn to deal with the consequences. I just had to pay $1,700 for my license to get unsuspended. Sometimes it feels like I'm out of hope. Ex-wife treated me bad because I was broke. It don't matter, 'cause the Lord gave me something better. Somebody that love me for me, that's why I treat special. Love that man for who he is, girl, and not for what he can do for you. Vice versa, break the wrong heart, they might hurt. All my fingers got prints, so I write in cursive, and I'm going to find what I'm in search of. Let us bow our head, 'cause it's time to worship. Boss, mind of the Yeah, Lord, I come to you, Father God, in the name of your Son, Lord. I just ask, Father God, that you watch over that person right now, Father God. That person that got their hands on the gun and they fang on the trigger, ready to just pull it and end it all, Father God. Let them know whatever crooked can be made straight again.

Real life.

Yeah, Heavenly Father, protect me. Them politicians, they labeling me a problem. Pressures in my heart, pain I feel a lot. See, I'm making my cross, preparing me for the slaughter. My life, they gotta take it, I ain't giving them nada. Compared to that fire in hell, my bars harder. Young boys round with pistols, this world is ran all by signs and symbols. Council of Foreign Relations, Illuminati, trying to get me to sell my soul for a new Ferrari. I learned a lot from my time in prison. Television tell lies and business. I'mma move like the hands on the clock till my time is finished. Head high 'cause the sky's the limit and I'mma do it with no hesitation. My occupation is solely focused on reparations. No wings but I move with the sparrows. Teeth all gold like the tombs of the pharaohs. Ancient Egypt, when I say credit they thinking Visa. When I say knowledge is food they be thinking pizza. When I say brother, you cool, he thinking evil. When I say sister, you a queen, she be thinking diva. It's up to me to put it in their head and steal wisdom and knowledge before they end up dead. Boss, yeah!

They must have fell and bumped their head. Welcome, welcome back to the Ray Sorrell Show. We are having a great conversation. We missed y'all, we appreciate y'all. Make sure y'all push that share button. We're about to get into some real good stuff right now because, uh, most of y'all know we, we did a campaign, um, um, Ghana with Love, and we, we dealt with, um, the fact that we was going to go to Ghana. We wanted to talk to, um, the kids Actually, I just wanted to see the kids, and I really wanted to tell y'all, thank y'all so, so, so much. Everybody that was able to donate, or even if you wasn't able to donate, you prayed for me, you, you encouraged me on my trip. Uh, y'all inboxed me, told me that y'all was really enjoying the pictures, because after a while I thought I was making too many videos. People like, no, don't stop, keep going, keep going. And I really, really, really appreciate that because again, um, I'm on this journey. I'm trying not to just talk it, I'm trying to walk it, you know what I'm saying? And it's not just about, matter of fact, one of the scriptures that I really love, it says faith without works is dead, you know what I'm saying? And sometimes in life we are quick to talk about Africa, we quick to talk about oppression, we quick to talk about change and everything else. But when you really start doing the work, it's hard, you know what I'm saying? It's hard, it's painful. And going to Ghana, man, it was, Um, I went there because of the Door of No Return. Now there is one in Senegal, and there's one other one— I forgot what country it is in Africa, but it's on the west banks of Africa. But, uh, the one in Ghana was like one of the biggest ones, and I'm going to start showing y'all some pictures and stuff like that. Um, but this is about our people, um, over 400 years ago were taken. Um, over 400 years ago, we were, um, enslaved. You know, people always say million— I mean, a billion slaves were stolen. No, no, a billion human beings were stolen. And to go through those dungeons, to go through those caves, to go through all this right here, uh, it really, really touched me. Before we get into it real fast, I just want to show y'all just a section of what I was able to see.

So someone excessively drunk and misbehaving, so they will go for a few hours, then they release them to outside. The legacy of history, now of no retain. It is here that we came to learn their respects, their beginning of culture and language. In those days, the sea was very close to the coastal, but now they are sea. So when ships came, the ship would not summon a small boat, was not built yet. They were suspected like they decided to raid your small coming to the bigger ships. During the Red Passage, the soldiers asked the men to leave whilst the men were being tortured and weighed them and tossed the bodies into the sea. The few that survived the dash sent the hospital to Guyana, Suriname, Haiti, Portuguese to Brazzaville, What they were going to carry there was Indies, Bahamas, Jamaica, and those other old nations. Initially, when we were trading gold, ivory, spices, the gate was bigger than this, from my left ear to the right. And when the slave trade started, they started bringing down the gate, as you can see today. And seeing the nature of the gate or the size of the door, you may ask, doesn't it mean all fat Africans was not going anywhere? Being there for 1 to 3 months, you do lay or sleep with him. Wow. Yeah, I'm not sure you can. It's just a comfort to wake up in the morning to see your friend is sitting there. Because now people don't have to cry. The gates of love are open. Uh, now, when I go to Cape Coast Castle, the gate over there is bigger than this one.

Okay, um, just wanted to kind of give y'all a little peek. Now, a lot of people have told me that they've never seen the Door of No Return. Well, there's a reason for that. One of the reasons for that is no filming was allowed. So you've heard about people that's going, but filming was actually not allowed, and What's so cool was the fact that this man allowed us to film. He allowed us to take a lot of pictures. Like, there's a lot of pictures on my phone I didn't even put up because it was so emotional for me. Um, he said over two-thirds of the slaves actually died in those camps. So the third that made it through those doors, because at the particular time the water was a little bit closer— that's why y'all saw the construction, everything else is going on— the water was closer. So what they would do, they would go down, uh, this ladder and go right to the ship. That's the last time they would see Africa.

Wow.

We complain, talk about it so much. Yeah, our ancestors were survivors.

Mm-hmm.

Like, we come from strong, strong— and we complain because we don't have a new purse. We say we broke because we can't afford no new Jordans.

Yeah.

Can we just, just for a second, can we just talk about this for a minute? Have we become so westernized that we forget how strong we really are?

Yeah, I, I think, I think so, because those of us that like call on our ancestors or ask for strength or ask for that type of strength, we're called weirdos, we're called witches, well, you don't believe in God, you, you know, um I told you, I've had somebody say, well, those are idols. If you come in my room and you see my altar, they're like, oh, well, those are idols. Those are this. You should have Jesus there and this, this, that, and the other. I think that a lot of African Americans are very Westernized. I think that now I'm considered woke. But for the longest, I was weird. I was weird to have locs. I was weird to say ancestors. You know, I was weird to remind people that the reason why we do the midnight thing on New Year's Eve, I'm like, no, that's an African American thing because they prayed because they knew that they might not make it. They were like, I hope this is the year that this crap is over. Black Friday, I'm like, that's not a good day. I do not shop on that day. That's the day they broke your family up.

Yeah.

So we shouldn't shop on that. We the last fools that should be standing in line. So I mean, you know, and I think that it's just sometimes you talking in the wind. Some people, you know, you just tell some people so much, and they're like, oh, well, there's militant Hope. And I'm like, I'm not militant. I'm just Black. And I know that I'm Black. I just think, yeah. I think that, yeah, very much so.

I think a lot of it comes from the ignorance. Strength, sometimes people will look at it as, you know, having strength sometimes can over— be overbearing to make you more ignorant than what you really believe because you're staying quiet because you don't want to offend the next man. And even in speaking on the ancestors, I don't even think they realized they had the strength. They didn't have a choice. They didn't have a choice not to have it because it was either you have it or you die, and that was an option in that point. So those that survived, it wasn't— we have too many options, we have too many— we have settled in so comfortable in, in being complacent in where we are to where it's just not normal having strength. It's more normal to go with the norm, jump on the bandwagon, you know, just be a part of the group. Uh, like you said from you being Hope, being that you are cut from a different cloth, you can stand 10 toes down knowing and believing because not only are you just talking it, you believe it and you've been educated on it. You research. A lot of people ain't gonna do that because that right there is power. So that's too much to do in a way of, no, that's me going against the world. No, you gotta put your back against what you believe and fight through it. Believe in God and know where you come from and know who you are. That in itself will speak volume.

Yeah, yeah.

Well, I believe I'm with you, Ray. I'm, I'm right with you with like Good Hope said.

And you know those shackles that you have right there? If you go to, uh, New Orleans, they have a church, and outside the church the priest walked up and he couldn't believe that they had people shackled in those shackles. He released them, and the shackles are still there, so you can actually touch them. Those things are so heavy.

Yeah, you can't even—

man.

Yeah, that's— yeah, that's correct. And like you say, we're weaker because I struggle wearing a bra all day. I sure couldn't have done no shuffles, you know. I mean, I would have made it, I would have made it because I have to do it, but you know what I'm saying. But like you said, but like that Western part of me is like, I ain't got to do this. I ain't got to this and that. But whenever I get where I think that I'm doing that too much, I feel like I have an ancestor tap me on my shoulder. Well, I'm sorry, what is it you can't do?

That's right, that's right.

Um, one of the things that hurt me, um, through this process is looking at self, right? A lot of times we You know, we want to point the finger at everybody else, but I, I decided to look at myself. I decided to look at Ray, and I was like, you know what, Ray, you kind of tripping. Because I am a dream chaser, don't get me wrong, I'm a dream chaser. I brag about being a dream chaser. I brag about, you know, I can make it, I can do this right here. But what am I really chasing? You know what I'm saying? Like, am I chasing money? Am I chasing to be famous? Am I chasing to be heard?

No.

And through this process, it was, it was a very painful— let me tell you why it was painful for me. Let me just show y'all this picture right here. And I was debating whether or not I was going to show this picture, but I'm gonna show this picture, and I'm not trying to hurt anybody, okay? But I just really want to talk about this. In the middle of the camp, there is a church. It's a Presbyterian— Presbyterian— you know what I'm trying to say.

Goddamn Presbyterian.

Yeah, man, okay, I can't breathe. Um, church. Right there in the middle, right there. That's, that's the castle. And the priests, not only would they have church every day in Jesus' name because we were savages— remember the way that they conquered the Native Americans was they was told that they didn't have souls, and they thought that us giving them Jesus God's way of saving their souls. And I say, wow. And that's what we do today to gays. That's what we do today to people who are not believers. We, we use religion, okay? A lot of us use religion to oppress and crucify people. Because of our so-called convictions. And it blows my mind that although that was years ago, the same concepts still being done today. A woman will come to church and, you know, she's not married, and, you know, there are people who would crucify her for not being married. You know, do we understand that some of the stuff that we do has nothing to do with God?

Very, very man-made.

Yes, sir.

Yes, sir.

Talk about it. Then you woke, as Hope said, you, you you don't, you don't know Jesus. I've learned this right here. Most people don't even read their Bible.

Yeah, yeah. I had to tell somebody one time because they were like, well, you don't go to church, you don't go to church. Well, you hadn't been to church. And I said, are you talking about the 7 years that my child was sick and could barely move and had no, no life? Is that what you're talking about? And I said, sweetie, by the time you found out about God? Yeah, I went to church 7 days a week, 7 days a week of 7 days a week.

Talk about it.

And I said, so if I don't go to church, Baptist church, Catholic church, if I don't go to church, I've done enough.

That's right.

And I was like, so I told him, I carry church in me, so I don't have to go and go drive to Houston and buy no $600 suit and call Amazon and order another $600. I don't have to do any of that. Yeah, I don't have to do—

and my—

and I don't apologize, and my pastor don't ask me to apologize. I don't apologize for who I am. I don't apologize for my kids. My kids are who they are. And so as long as my mama and my pastor don't have a problem with who I am and what I'm doing, then I already, I already got approval from God. But as long as those are the people— if you were trying to please somebody, but I'm not trying to please the church. And so when I say things, when I, when I get up and do my yoga and light my incense and talk to my ancestors, that's what I'm gonna do. And I thank God that I'm able to, to communicate with them.

Yeah.

Yeah, but you have— I tell people, you have to realize, if they never ever ever ever came to Africa, we would not be Baptist. That's right, we would not be Baptist. We would— like my son told his grandmother one time, he said, you know, if you come from here from another planet and you hear about somebody that got a 12-year-old pregnant and then he came to save the world, do you know how crazy that sounds if you're not from here? And he said, so y'all have said it so much that you believe that that's just the way to go.

Yeah.

And, and he says, so you can't force that belief on me.

Yeah.

And I just, I don't know, I just think that everybody comes here and they have a purpose, and I think that we should be able to walk in that purpose.

That's right.

I, I And I'm going to play a clip. It's kind of hard to understand them, but one of the things the guy said to me, um, that, that really blessed me, he said, you do know we knew God before Christianity? And the guy said, he said, look, I'm a Christian, he said, but I'm not the Christian that you think I am, you know. And I said, sir, what do you mean by that? He said I'm a Christian, you know. He said, but I believe in the, in the principles of Christianity. I believe in loving your neighbors. I believe in honoring your mother and father. I believe in, um, you know, treating people a certain way. I believe in communal, um, sharing your stuff. He said, that's, that's really Christianity. But one of the things that, that people don't understand is that the Jews don't even believe in Christianity.

Not at all.

Because, because it's— remember, they started off as just Hebrews, right? And then, you know, Jacob had the little wrestling match. God called him Israel.

That's right.

You know what I'm saying? And then it went to the, to the, uh, to, to, you know, to the wilderness. And that's when they got some laws. People forgot before they had a law, and they would just name God by the certain things that was going on. When Abram went up to sacrifice Isaac, he said Jehovah Jireh. What does that mean? He's my provider.

My provider.

Great.

Do you need a box of chicken? Because you sounded like an old Baptist preacher now.

Oh, because you better tell him, give me this cornbread.

Yes, because I think we forget that even, you know, Abram called him Elohim.

That's right.

It was, it was, it was titles, you know. Um, but in 325 AD, they, they went from Messianic Jews who were following Yeshua to now Christians.

Yes.

And them Negroes even changed the Sabbath.

Yeah, preaching too good, the dog is barking. The Sabbath was on a Saturday. That's right, but the Sabbath is on Saturday.

That's right, that's right.

And I can recall them getting mad at Jesus for trying to heal somebody on a Saturday, not a Sunday. Yeah, so again, every religion, every denomination has progressed. Because I remember in the Baptist Church it was a sin for women to wear pants.

Yeah.

I recall in the Baptist Church a woman couldn't preach. Now some people still do that, but in most Baptist churches you can preach now.

Yeah.

You know, I recall somewhere in the scripture, if they took the page out, uh, that when you, when you actually, uh, speak in tongues, there had to be somebody there to interpret. Yeah, what you were saying, now you shining all day long and people think you're holier than thou.

Yeah, and I still don't know what they're saying.

Johnny drove up in a Honda, that's all you're saying.

Yeah, yeah.

I can recall Paul, you know, help me if I'm— if I lied, he was a tent maker because he was like, I don't want to take no money from y'all.

I'm on—

I didn't have no one anniversary, two anniversary, three anniversary evening prayer and Oh, I'm sorry, the, the, the first lady got to get anniversary too. I gotta give her a banquet and shit. What the fuck? Have we not left God so far away? Even people who serve Jesus, that's okay, but do you even know what you serving? And we wondering why we are in a state that we in right now. One thing about Black folks, and I saw this from my own eyes, with my own eyes, can't nobody tell me shit when I tell you they will use our spiritual beliefs against us. Come on, they had 15 channels. I counted them in Ghana, 15 goddamn channels, 14 of them what people on, on TV preaching. Grace has found Africa. Ain't that a bitch?

Wow.

Everywhere you see poverty, everywhere you see homeless, everywhere you see, you see extreme— look, y'all niggas think y'all broke over here, nigga. Y'all got paper. Okay, because listen, On a bad day, you can get some food stamps.

That's right.

On a bad day, you can work at McDonald's.

You sure can.

Okay, so I got the new iPhone. Yeah, yeah, y'all, we, we really, we really need to check ourselves. I mean, I can't— I was so depressed, y'all, and I'm, I wasn't sure I'm gonna say it, but I'm gonna say it because I don't know how to be nobody but me. I questioned my faith the whole time I was over there. I mean, from, from the time I got off the plane Saturday, even today, I've been depressed because I'm like, God, now hold on now, we, we serve you and you allowing this, this stuff to go on. Now, I'm not God. The Bible says— correct me if I'm wrong. Isaiah, I think it's 54, around 16, somewhere there. He said, uh, uh, my thoughts are not your thoughts, they're my ways, your ways. Yeah, yeah, that's important. Anyway, I get it. I, I can't think like God thinks, but it has bothered me to see people of color who believes in something. You might call them Allah, you might call them Yahweh. If you might be a, uh, a Jamaican, you call them Jah, you know what I'm saying? Or Jah, right?

Is it Jah?

But we believe. But the motherfuckers been using our, our faith against us. And then we take— we let Dr. King, as great as Dr. King was, Y'all don't turn off on me. Use something he learned during his dissertation to get his PhD. Gandhi, who hated Africans, who was a fucking racist. Nonviolent movement has nothing to do with Christianity. You don't believe me? Didn't David go out there and bust Goliath's ass?

Yeah.

When the Philistines and, and the Jezabites and all them niggas that was trying to So my question is, what are we doing? I saw a lady who I love and respect so much, I ain't gonna say her name. She saw one of the videos with the kids begging and stuff. She said, oh, that, that's a real faith. They really believe in God because blessed are the poor.

Wow.

I like having breath in my lungs, thank you, God. Nigga, being poor sucks.

Yeah, it does.

Nigga, going check to check, month to month sucks. Not having enough, uh, money in your account to feed your children, to have a nice roof over your head, decent.

To be hungry and sitting next to your kid that's hungry. And you got to sit up there and sing to them and play games with them and pretend like you're not hungry. Like it was some— I don't remember what actor, who it was— and they said that the lights went out, the mama didn't have enough money to pay the light bill, so the lights went out. You know, mama did— you know, we gonna do— we gonna camp out in the living room tonight, he said. And I thought that was so much fun. I had no idea she couldn't pay the light bill.

Yeah.

Let me show y'all this real fast. We're gonna take a break. Let me show y'all this right here. This right here is, um, a door. It comes from the dungeons up. This particular door goes to the governor's quarters. The governor's quarters is where they would rape the, the men and the women.

Say it again.

Say it one more time.

They were raping the men and the women.

Okay.

And in order for them to rape first, the priest, the Catholic priest, had to come and Christian it because they got more money if the woman was pregnant by the white man, because now there's a mulatto and the baby's light-skinned. So now you got somebody that can work in the house. Yeah, y'all, y'all didn't hear me.

And if you look at older movies like Emily Brontë, uh, Wuthering Heights, and you see— because, you know, in England, before they decided to come over here, in England, whatever your father was, that's what you were. You couldn't be nothing else. So this whole come here to this country, the land of plenty, and you can be whatever you want to be, that was the sales pitch to come here. Because if your father was a blacksmith and his father was a blacksmith, you a blacksmith. And if you wanted to be a doctor, if you wanted to be— they call it a vicar— if you wanted to be a preacher, then you had to go to the preacher and tell them that that's what you wanted to be. So when you think about it, when they came here and they did all that, you know, the, you know, the Catholic priest was broke off That's right, the money. So, and you know, and it ain't— he don't feel it. Like I try to explain to people, it doesn't hurt somebody when you're hurting. They have— if they're not seeing it, they don't have empathy for it. So when they came over here, you see them, how they have you serving them and how they're doing that. That's because they were doing that. They had generation after generation that was servants. So that's why they knew the tablecloth needed to be like this, and you need to stand back here with this water, and you need to do this. That's why, that's why they wanted those servants, because they had been those servants.

That's right.

But I don't know, it's just crazy. I think that what we— what our next goal should be is to be able to adopt a kid, to send that kid over there, because these ungrateful iPhone-having, PS5-wanting Jordan's wanting— I try to tell my child, I can get you all these tennis shoes so you can have different color tennis shoes. She said, I want Vans. I said, one pair of shoes it is. That's what I heard.

That's right, that's right.

And, um, and you know, they like to compare because it's 9. I didn't, I didn't get this, I didn't get that. And my daughter, she hit the nail on the head. She said, when I wanted Jordans, I worked for Jordans.

That's right.

And so, because Jordan's kids don't even wear Jordans.

That's right.

Because that ain't making him no money. So I think that, like, people that are from Mexico, they can send $100 to their family a month, and that does so much for them. And you said, Ray, what we spend on a two-piece and fries and a drink will do so much for them. And I think that would be the change that they don't expect. They done called them African booty scratchers and called us niggas so long that they believe we're niggas And we believed that they were African booty scratchers. And then now that we are talking, we're finding out, oh, so we are some African booty scratching niggas. So I think— I swear that's the way they see us. So I think that bridge that gap so that we're sending to ours like they sending theirs. We couldn't do that before. And I tried to explain that to somebody. I said, I can't just send no money to Africa. I don't know nobody there. We've been gone 400 years, but I, I just think that it's, it is, it's crazy.

One of the things that, um, that bothers me a lot is how much we attack one another, men and women. In our relationships.

We—

there's no good men, there's no good women. Only thing women want is our sweat, our sweat equity. They want to— I, I think we have gotten so far away from where we're supposed to be, and we really need to examine ourselves. Um, I am a businessman 100%. We just had a meeting on, on on, you know, Monday because I'm like, let's redo some stuff. Um, I think we really have to examine ourselves and ask ourselves, what do we want? What do we want for our children? Because our kids see how we treat one another. They see how we respond. They see how we acted at Walmart and HEB and, you know, different places. I think that we have to come to a point in our life that— and realize just how powerful we really are. I, I can't keep asking the church to change. I can't keep asking women to change. I keep, can't keep asking me. I have to change for myself. And I'm gonna be honest with y'all, shit is hard because to unlearn some shit at 49, yes, that shit is hard.

Yes, sir.

To, to have a conversation with a person and not try to diminish them because, you know, maybe you've seen something they haven't, or you've accomplished some things that they haven't. Just to have a regular conversation with another person. We've gotten so westernized that we put each other down without even realizing it. I didn't say nigga one time when I was in Africa, but African dude walked up to me, what's up my nigga? I said, man, don't say that shit to me. Oh, I thought— sorry, I'm sorry. Yeah, but he's listening to our music. Mm-hmm. We're weaponizing our own selves because, because when we was playing, you know, Public Enemy, we were saying fuck the police, when we was having conscious music, the records, the radio station wouldn't play it. No, they understood it was self-empowering, you know what I'm saying? You know, we had, we had great artists out there, you know, uh, Q-Tip and, and most Black Thought and Public Enemy. I mean, The Roots. I mean, they was talking about some shit. You like, yo, I remember, I never forget, man, I was selling dope. I was selling dope in Austin Arms and my homeboy Psycho, man, he's crazy ass. He, he, he was like, man, I want you to listen to this dude right here, man. What I don't want to hear that. What's that? And he was like, I got a letter from the government the other day. I opened it and read it. They say I was a sucker. They wanted me to fight the army or whatever, picture me giving a damn. I said never. I said, damn, here's a land that never gave a damn about a brother like me and myself because you never did. I was like, yo, who's this? But sooner or later, yeah, you hear that no more. You heard dope man. You know what I'm saying? You heard, you know, bitch is a bitch. You heard Too Short, uh, you know, bitch, you know, I met this girl, you know. And I'm like, because you get drowned out by so much negativity that it becomes part of your life. Okay, we're gonna take a quick break. We're gonna come back because I want us to try to empower each other. Uh, I'm gonna come with the ignorance. Y'all already know I'm gonna come with the ignorance, but Not tonight. Tonight I really want us to focus on some positive stuff, um, because again, man, it's some stuff that's going on and we at war. We don't even know shots been fired.

Crazy.

So don't y'all go anywhere, I'll be right back. We're gonna take a quick break. Don't y'all go nowhere. Go ahead and share this to your page. Keep it locked to the Ray Sorrell Show. Fell and bumped their head.

You ever see a Black man walk? It's like rhythm and meter got up off the page and decided to move and glide with spirit. You ever see a black man walk in the room, Morris Cole style, like, "Keep tap dancing, I'm here." In those steps are messages, and you have to listen carefully. They trying to kill me. Stop searching, frisk me. There are prayers in a black man's walk. Don't let them shoot me down where I'm standing. Don't let the white chalk lines find me. Don't let me die in the streets like an animal. I'm a man, I swear I'm a man. When a black man A whole generation lives to see another day, another sunrise, another mouth to feed, another seed, another sacrifice saved, another poem, another hungry burning cross, another mother breathing in her son's ear.

Move easy. Move quiet.

Keep your head down, boy. Don't matter if you 16 or 60. When a Black man walks, he is always hunted. He is always animal. He is always standing out like a living corpse. He smells like a KKK appetizer. Nuggets of his own flesh dipped in his own blood.

Woo-wee!

When a Black man walks, he often finds white women walking closely behind him. But you can't blame a white sister for liking the way a Black man walks. She understands some things and is cool with the fact that her babies will have nappy hair, even though she will not know how to comb it. When a Black man walks, wait for it. Listen to the orchestra playing beneath his feet. Pay attention to the vibrations when he walks in a room. See how many faces change to fear in the presence of a Black man. See how many women hold their purse so tightly their fingers grow numb. See how many men hide their eyes wishing the darkness would go away, maybe choke itself to death. That ugly two-third human being, that next to nothing black dot, that useless prison black spot. When a black man walks every day, he is like Jesus, paranoid of crucifixion. Every day he is like Trayvon, knowing that his hoodie had nothing to do with his last breath. If only bullets could kill racism, Poverty and the traumas of slavery. You pay attention when a Black man walks. You listen when a Black man walks. His feet have a mind of their own, a compass, a homing device. 400 years of directions. Find your way home safely. Don't let Jim Crow steal your soul. Don't let gentrification lose your memory. Don't let police brutality castrate you. Do what your mama said do.

Run, run, run when their teeth are already covered in blood.

Do what your mama said do. Run, run, run when a Black man walks.

He ain't got time to walk.

Death is always like, Black men are the easiest to find. They are the strongest but the most fragile. They are the calm and the storm.

They die like they expect to.

When a Black man walks, think of it as a masterpiece, a beautiful song that you may only hear once. Cherish it. You may never hear it again.

They must have fell and bumped their head. All right, y'all, welcome back to the Ray Sorrell Show. We're having a real life conversation about some real life issues. Uh, I just wanted to play that, um, for the men out there because we call it swag. But I was watching them Africans walk, y'all, and I just smiled.

I, I—

listen, I saw poor women walk coming up to your car asking for money. I saw them babies just smiling. We was coming from Cape Cove, and that's— I was really emotional because I just left the door, no return, everything else. It was a little cute little Black kid, and he was like— and I'm like, man, I ain't give you nothing, you got it. American, American. I'm like, oh, you ain't dumb, you, you know, you know what I'm saying? You know I was an American. And he just kept messing with me. So my boy, uh, shout out to Philip Prince, um, who looked out for me like the whole time I was there. And he said, where's your mother? I'm gonna slap you, right? He was messing with him. Little boy was like, you're not gonna slap nothing. And I started laughing because I'm like, you begging, but you still got some swag. Like 5, 6 years old, but he was talking trash. And I was like, it's cool. So I, I went in my pocket, I gave him a $10 Ghana cedi, which in our money is like $1.50. And that little boy was so happy.

And took off.

He gave it to his mama. He's like, why'd you give him that much? I said, dude, that's $1.50. Like, no, no, that's right. He didn't need that because he probably not even homeless. Whatever, whatever.

Exactly. That's not my issue. That's it.

Oh, that was like— I was just like, it's something about seeing us do what we do. Black folks are the coolest people on the planet.

That's right.

And we don't even realize it.

That's right.

That's what blows my mind. I don't think we realize just how cold we are. Somebody asked me, said, well, Ray, you know, why don't you mess with this woman?

This—

well, I said, look, man, yeah, I'm gonna get cursed out sometimes. I deserve to get cursed out, you know. Ain't nothing like a Black woman. When I see— I don't care your size, your shape, how much hair you got, there's something about us that's just fly. I can't explain it. It's something about us that's just fly, and we don't even realize it.

Huh?

I said I love that. I, I know the first time it was pointed out to me is during the Olympics when I was growing up, and my father said, now we here and this is held here but these are the countries we going for. And he showed me, he said, look, look at all the long-distance runners, just look at their rhythm. He said, they got a beat all on their own, just look at them. And when the, um, first night came and they were jumping, he said, look at the Germans, they, they like, like popcorn, they all over the place. He said, now look over there, look at her over there, Jamaica, look over there at Africa, they're all on the same beat, look at them, look. And I was like He said, ain't nothing like us, nothing. He said, just watch him, they run like this, they got a rhythm to they run. He said everything they do has a rhythm to it, every single thing has a rhythm. And I was like, wow.

And when you really think about music, it really is the— it's the language of the universe. You don't have to teach a child. You ever just see a little bitty baby in the crib Yes, feet get to going and they just—

mine is trying to snap her fingers. I said, is she trying to snap her fingers?

Ain't nobody taught her nothing.

Listen, it's so—

they got it in their school, at church, when them drums get to playing.

Yeah, all people say, I ain't African-American, I'm, I'm American. Not motherfucker, you got the drums going on in your church. Yeah, yeah, that's us all day, y'all. It's something about all day so special. Yeah, it's something about whatever we mix with. We mix with a white person, Asian person, Mexican, man, them babies gonna come out beautiful.

Yeah, well, we were first, so they gotta come, they gotta pop out of us. And so we go back, it's going, it's going to be beautiful. In the Jewish church, they teach them, they get all the crayons. And they get all of the people and they colored on top of one another and show them the first man was Black, and they show them the Jews from Africa, and they tell them. So I'm like, I don't know why, but I mean, when you find out things, you find out the, the, uh, the place of no return that the Catholic priest is praying over the people before their rape, the men and the women. So, you know, it makes sense that other countries, when they see Lil Nas X, they like, yeah, that gay stuff, that's American, because y'all like having sex with me. They really think that because of that, that that's something that's carried over.

And I've—

I've— I had to tell somebody, I said, well, you know Uh, when they say buck and they're gonna break a buck, I said, when you see it on old movies, they're talking about breaking down a Black man.

Yeah.

And they're talking about having sex with him. Now you come from a country where that wasn't even a concept or a thought.

That's right.

And here these people are doing this on a regular basis. Yeah, it's just crazy. Crazy, crazy.

I, I learned, um, recently the word motherfucker, which is a word I use a lot. I did not know that was a way of breaking down— it would make a male have sex with his mother, his own mom.

Wow.

Oftentimes Okay, I just want— just, just for a second, just, just picture this. I have to get an erection for my mother.

Wow.

Where the term came from. And, and I know we, we, we take the worst and then we turn into something else, you know what I'm saying? But There's a genesis to this. Yeah, we have to really start rethinking things. But I'm gonna tell you why we don't— because it's hard. We already got it hard to change. We already got it hard. Look, listen, man, nobody on the planet got as hard as us. That's right, because we don't know who we are. When I said— and I talked to them people and they was telling me who their great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandfather was.

Wow.

I, I don't know who my great-great-great-great-grandfather— matter of fact, I was thinking about changing my name, but I feel like I'd be disrespecting my dad because my name is attached to a slave master. So, so mentally, every time I, I'm Ray Sorrell, I am giving props to my oppressor. It's a lot of shit to think about, man, along with all the other PTSD— police pulling me over, things I've been through in my life. Oh, it's a lot of work. And you wonder why people say, look, I ain't trying to hear that, let's talk about the Cowboys.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And who wants to acknowledge hurt? Who wants to admit the hurt? Because once you admit it and realize that it's really there, now you got to deal with it. Who wants to do that?

I don't. I'm being real with you, I don't. But it seems like I'm in a position where I don't have a choice, and I'm like, God, why are you putting this on me? I'm a comedian. I want to make people laugh. I don't, I don't want to have these conversations. Look at the numbers. Look at the numbers. And we was talking about men against women, uh, sex toys, because, because we don't want to deal with the hard stuff, the hard truths. But we have to take those pills. You're going to get better. Yeah, you got to take the medicine that don't taste good. That's right, you know what I'm saying? And I'll be the first— listen, man, I've had conversations with different women and they'd be like, oh, okay, because I turned the corner without even trying to turn the corner. And they'd be like, oh, I'm gonna talk about that. But then you hear people say, well, I want a man that can think. Well, bitch, I've been thinking.

I've been thinking and you don't like it.

First, I'm laughing. That's the first time I said bitch since I've been back in America. Uh, it's just certain things that, that, that I understand why we don't want to talk about. It's too much pain. I want to laugh, you know. I want to have self-gratification. Let's, let's, let's have some sex. Let's do some shots. Let's do something. Let's smoke some weed. Let's— I don't want to think about this kind of stuff.

That's right.

But y'all, what are we going to do? At what stage are we going to be made to better? Because even when we have— okay, I wasn't gonna go here, fuck it. I'm overseas and I'm watching in Texas the Haitians. I'm watching these white boys on horses using the reins as whips. Ain't nobody even saying anything. I'm looking for the Chucks and Pearls want me to say something. These people, once they get in office, they don't think about us no more.

Nope.

They have fake outrage, but I ain't heard this happen. Oh, we gonna investigate. That's what they say to make us feel good for the moment. We gotta learn to help ourselves.

Exactly.

But what's the investigation?

Because it's always— it's—

I, I just think it's crazy that the things you have to do to come from Guatemala, to come from Mexico, to come from Haiti, to come from Cuba to get to the States.

Yeah.

And they act like Canada and London aren't as far. And I told you, here in, in San Antonio, there is a professor that teaches at a university She has tenure and she is not an American citizen.

Wow.

I say, girl, why you not driving a cab? Why are you not driving a cab? How is it that your education from London transcribed over here to this type of job? But you, when we probably have the cure for COVID, the cure for the common cold, and he driving a cab.

Yeah, yeah.

And she goes, well, no, no, no, my, um, I'm— but I'm, I'm English. And I was like, oh, you're not American. That's what I'm saying, you're not American. And, and like you said, nobody, nobody says anything. So of course Hope is being militant and I'm starting stuff in class, but I'm just like, I just need somebody explaining to me like I'm 3. You gonna tell me than a man studying to be a doctor of human beings is not a doctor in the United States because we don't have no human beings. I'm like, what? But you can teach humans? Girl, bye. I said, get out of here. And I just like— I had another teacher that walked in class college, early college, and she walked in class, she was like, and just for any of you African— no, no, she said Blacks. Any of you Blacks, because I think I was the only African-American in 1989. And so, and she was like, if any of you Blacks mistake me, make the mistake of assuming I'm Black, let me correct you now, I'm English. And she had the accent and everything, so I was like Let me show y'all how cold we really are.

So we're trying to see this.

Oh my gosh, she's gorgeous! Look at that baby!

Listen, listen, can y'all see it? Okay, I don't know. Yeah, that is the, the prettiest little babies.

Yeah, they're big.

Y'all, they're begging. They're begging. Ain't no Social Security over there. No food stamps. You also notice they don't have masks on. That's an American thing. That's a European thing.

But even look at how they're dressed.

They're neat.

They're not raggedy.

Ain't got that hat covered.

Got the hat— they're, they're, they're covered and they're presenting themselves the best that they can in order to receive something. We'll go and present ourselves the worst as we can. And man, that's crazy.

Yeah, it was so cute. They were so cute. I, I gave them candy. I gave them money.

Just throwing stuff all out. Take everything.

And, and, and, and for the kids in school, all the kids in school are— they have to— all the girls have to cut their hair like, like really, really short, like a shave. Yeah. Well, not bald, but like one with the grain, like waves. And I was like, why do they do that? They said, well, the British came over there and they control the schools.

Oh wow.

So you don't see no little girls with weaves and makeup and lashes. I give a damn about them nails. They trying to eat. It was so precious, y'all. I don't think you understand. They were so precious. I said, oh my Everywhere you went, everywhere you went, you just saw beautiful beauty. Black women, Black men. Um, it was some people I saw, I said, man, y'all need to be in some type of magazine because y'all look gorgeous.

Y'all are—

what's her name? Naomi Campbell? Is that— oh, okay.

Yes, I forgot, you know. And you know, look, let me go on and be racist, you know, ain't no such thing as an ugly Ethiopian.

Ethiopian.

It ain't just— hey, I'm gonna be real racist. It ain't no such thing as an ugly Ethiopian. You'll never see somebody from India last name Patel, baby, they all hot. Do you hear me? Every male Patel.

Listen, all these independent women, I want y'all to see this right here.

Yeah, and that's, that's the true independence right there.

Right there.

This woman right here, what it looks like. What I'll tell you, this woman right here was so gorgeous, and she was walking, she was working. And if you notice on there, she has, she has soda, she has water, she has all kinds of products. And what they do is, because we, we work for people over here, a lot of those people over there are independent contractors. Because what they do, they go and get the products in the middle of the week, or the middle, I mean, at night, I mean, the day before, or whatever, and then all day they hustle. They hustle their products. They hustle their products. So we talk a lot of shit about, well, I'm a hustler, I'm a hustler. I said, baby, that's a hustler. Like, we think we hustlers. That's a hustler, you know what I'm saying? That's somebody that I need on my team. Because that's why when they come to this country, we trip out because they come to this country and they, they bust their ass. They— oh, y'all are lazy. We laugh at them because, you know, they got 3 families living in one house. Look at it, trying to make it.

That's right.

We got a house that we barely can pay and we don't let people come over.

That's right.

You better not sit on my good couch. Okay, okay, we're gonna take a quick break, but, um, yeah, I, I want to end the show in a different way, but we're going to take a quick break because I, I want to play this song just to, um Amen. Just love on the women for a second. Y'all don't go anywhere, keep it locked. They must have fell and bumped their head. Little Sam.

A couple degrees and the faith is strong. She living life right. I need her up in my life to make this man complete. She's beautiful from head to feet. She got a mind like her mama. She don't tolerate the drama. She ain't never wasting time. Who dis lady about a dollar? She got family that is proud of her. Look where she taking the kids. I love the woman she is. I'm even proud of her. Had to make her my woman. Every king in the streets need a queen to make his life complete. Ebony Queen. You the queen of my castle that I had to go and marry. Keep you warm in my arms, that's the babies that you carry. You're looking good with your fine self, your confidence is so high with your beautiful smile. It makes my heart melt. I love you in them high heels, tight jeans, and blazer. I swear no other queen can phase you, that's the reason why they all hating. You never give up, you blessing everything that you touch. You're from heaven up above, the only queen that I love, that I want to kiss the —give you everything you want. You as good as a pot of gold, the right grip for my soul. I promise I'll be there when I'm old. You stand tall through the struggle, that's the reason why I love you. Never put nothing above me, we gonna always be a couple. I got my eyes on you, you as beautiful as heaven can be. It's really hard to take my mind off you, you make my mind wander. Every king in the streets needs a queen to make his life complete. I got my eyes on you, you as beautiful as heaven can be. She doesn't need a lot of cosmetics to beautify her image. She's already beautiful. Someone to adore, someone to cherish, depend on. When you weak, she provides that shoulder to lean on. She cooks, she cleans, she's the point guard of my team. We win the world day by day, one at a time, like a team wins a game one at a time. And most of all, she's a black They must have fell and bumped their head.

Welcome, welcome back to the Ray Sorrell Show. Uh, we are having a great conversation. Um, I really hope those of y'all that hanging in there with us are really enjoying it because, um, it is one of those days where we're just, you know, we're dealing with real life, real issues, real things. Um, one of the things that people don't talk about is that you go to the Door of No Return, it is no longer called the Door of No Return for you. Um, it is actually considered the Door of Return. And the reason it's considered the Door of Return is because you went back. You went back. Now, one of the things that I've heard my whole life is that Africans don't like us. I just want to put this up there just for a second. Um, I was able to Through the grace of God, through all of y'all that gave, although they gave financial donations, um, gifts, uh, book bags, uh, all kinds of stuff. Yeah, y'all really blessed us, man. And, um, when we went to give it to the people at the Village, um, the, the assistant principal, the headmaster, uh, the assistant headmaster— I'm sorry, the principal wasn't in. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, y'all, it's called the Headmaster. He wasn't in, but the assistant was so excited about some African Americans coming there. He said, would you mind speaking to the kids? Oh wow. Huh? And he's like— I said okay. And I was like, okay, I wasn't really planning on speaking. I just want to give and then go back, right? He's like, no, you got to talk to him. And so, you know, I didn't even download the speech or whatever because I was just so nervous. But one of the things I told the kids, I was like, over 400 years ago, our people were stolen from, from this continent. And, you know, we're— a lot of us are, are, as Malcolm X would call it, the land of the, uh, the Tribe of Shabazz. We are, we are the lost, um, civilization. We are the lost Hebrews. We are the lost, uh, people that was, that was stolen. And I just told him, I said, man, you know, um, this is— I'm representing my family. I'm representing, you know, whatever tribe I came from because we came back. So the kids are kind of looking at me and I'm like, maybe they don't understand what I'm saying. And I was like, okay. And so one of the things that didn't get recorded, the headmaster said, remember how we talked about the Middle Passage? And all the kids like, yeah, yeah, like he's one of those. And they're just like, oh, And he said, and broke me down like a fraction, he is an African. They are just as much African as you are. He just came back home. And the kids started— yes, y'all, I turned my black ass around. I'm just boo-hooing.

I'm just, I'm just trying— I told you to be prepared.

I was just like, oh my God. Oh, and then they were looking at me like, like they saw dinosaur or Bigfoot or something. Yes, because like we don't go over there. We go to the Bahamas, we go to the Bahamas, we might go to Jamaica, might go to Puerto Rico, we go everywhere on this side, we go to Dubai, we go to— but we don't go back home. So those kids was looking, and then afterwards we just walked around the campus and everything, we was talking to the kids and stuff. And I even took a picture, one of the cool kids— you can tell who the cool kids, I don't care what language you talking And it was a cute little boy, and I'm like, okay, he got some little African girls all around. So I went over to start messing with him. He's just looking at me like, nigga, who are you? I'm like, I used to be you because I was, I was an ugly kid, but I made people laugh. So anyway, and, and I was just like, wow, this is so cool because no matter where you are on the planet, you recognize you. Yeah, you know what I'm saying? And then you see people that are like, is that Keisha? You know, like you, you see somebody, you know what I'm saying? Like, is that good? You know, like, it trips me out how we were able to see, uh, I was able to see us, you know what I'm saying? So one of the things the guy asked me to do— now here, here's, this is how cold we are in America, we don't even realize it. For years I have poured out liquor for my homies. Let me see if I got the tape because I don't want to See if I got it. Uh, did I get it?

Okay, I need—

I need to download it. For years we have poured out liquor for our homies, right? And you know, people say, what are you doing? I'm pouring out something for the homies that's not there. Do y'all not know that's African?

Do y'all not know?

I did not know that. I did not know that was part of the African culture where um, you would actually pour out liquor, uh, no, not that one, not that one. You would pour out liquor for, for, for your homies just in remembrance of them. Just, you know, no one thought you was weird, no one thought you was a demon or, or a devil worshiper or whatever, but you did it because of the, of the fact that you said, you know what, um, okay, I'm gonna play this with y'all, um, you did it and honoring your ancestors. So when I went back, he asked me if I wanted to pour libations. I said, what's this? He said, well, what you do is you pour out some liquor for your ancestors. And I'm giving y'all the radio version. You pour out liquor for your ancestors, but you gotta take off your shoes, gotta take off your mask. We had the mask on because of COVID but you gotta take off your shirt and your jewelry and everything else. And I'm sitting up there like, damn, man, I ain't did no sit-ups. Like, I've been eating bad, you know what I'm saying? Like, but he was like, but what you do, you pray for your ancestors. Okay, so if y'all don't mind pushing me for one second, I want to just kind of give y'all what happened. And yes, I am crying the whole time.

You put it on the floor.

Yeah, a little.

Like my daddy was doing, right? Oh, thank you for that.

Sorry for that. You give it to me.

No, everybody takes after Oh, I love it.

Um, what you do Okay, so you going back is remembering your ancestors, praying for their rest. You're praying that the strength that's in them that allowed them to endure generations of pain, you're asking God to give that strength to their descendants. When I took off my shoes and I felt that floor, took off that mask, you could smell pain. I can't explain it. We've all had some type of religious, spiritual experience. Nothing compares to that. It was, uh, yeah. It was, it was definitely God to, uh, to pray for their rest, for those who didn't make it. You know, we talk about the Holocaust. If you say anything about the Jews, boy, they get mad at you. But we can talk about Africans all day long. You talk about all this stuff and nobody cares. This man was so excited to see an African-American. He said, white people visit this more than we do.

Mm-hmm.

When Malcolm went to Mecca, he came back different. He was like, yo, it's not all white folks. These fools over here. It's scary to me, and I'm just being very transparent in front of everybody. I feel uncomfortable everywhere I go. Something happened. I can't explain it. Still a comedian, I'm still a fool, all this, but something there was something changed. I can't explain it. I, I cannot explain it. I've been trying to put into words, I've been trying to articulate my thoughts, but something inside of me changed. I, I've heard stories of women that got raped and in the middle of the rape they checked out. It's like they, they left their body— and allowed that, that, that predator to do whatever they was doing, for their mind wouldn't break. When I tell you I feel like I am healed from so much pain, I can't explain it to you, because I now realize that everything I've been through every bad thing somebody did to me. It was a condition of what we've been through in this country. So it was almost like the ancestors gave me strength to come back home and tell this story. Mary, I'm gonna pick on you. I know how you feel about your grandmother and your grandfather. I know that there are times you still talk to them. When people go to the grave, I used to think they was crazy. Now I ain't going no grave. What's wrong with y'all? Y'all crazy. You know what they're doing? They pulling their strength. I didn't get it. I didn't get it. I've never been to the cemetery on Memorial Day and all. I don't do that, baby. I am made the better. I said that trip. If you— y'all are watching via Facebook, YouTube, whatever, trying to make you a trip. Something about, uh, leaving this mess.

Continent of bullshit. It ain't bullshit.

It's a—

I, I can't explain it. It's a— yeah. And when— and I think that what happens, that's what people do when they start waking up and they start talking to their ancestors and they start um, paying respect to their ancestors. They can't do church. It's hard for them to do church. So I, I have a girlfriend and she was like, I'm not a Christian no more, like that. I said, well, don't say you're not a Christian, just say you don't belong to an American church. And I said, because you still believe in feeding the needy, you still believe in this, you still believe in that, you still honor your mother. So yeah, But I think that's what happened is that your ancestors— because I have been through things where I was like, you know what? I'm gonna need the strength of Sojourner. I'm gonna need the strength of the woman that stayed up in that attic in that one little crawl space for 3, 4 years. I'm gonna need that strength to get through what I'm going through right now. I need the woman that didn't just escape slavery but came back and got the other folks. Because, you know, Ray used to tell me, you always picking up other folks' problems. And I would be like, well, I'm going to make it through. I don't know how in the world one person is supposed to feed 5 teenagers and 3 babies, and only 2 of these kids are hers. But I'm going to get that strength. So I think that's what happened is that you did. You talked to your ancestors.

And it was kind— it was— I ain't going to even say kind. It was a setup. For you because it was already put in your spirit to go, to give back, not knowing that something was waiting on you to be received. Because you've been saying for the longest that you are in search of something. You have all these degrees, you have all these things that you accomplished.

I've done this, I've done that, what's next? Healing. And so you remember the dream before you left? You ready? Remember the dream before you left? I told you then, I said everything is falling away because everything is pushing you this way. Now you walking this alone, and you walked it alone, and it was just you and your ancestors. That's right.

What's so, what's so cool about that, y'all? And I'm, I'm saying this to just not just, you know, Marion and Hope, but many of us are hurting. Yes, we don't talk about it. No, we don't, we don't, we don't have the room. Here's, here's the thing about being Black in America. As we're trying to heal from one trauma, yes, become 10 more. That's right. My kids ain't acting right. That's right. Friends ain't acting I'm looking in the mirror and I don't like what I see. I don't, I don't like my skin color. I don't like my weight. I don't like my hair. I don't like the bumps. I don't like my lips are too big. My nose is too wide. All these different things that police just pulled me over and disrespecting me and I'm shaking.

Yes, yes, yeah, yes. Or, or like the little boy that shot at the school today that turned himself in. I'm like, okay, what's the percentage? You know me. What's the percentage of African Americans that go to the school? Because was he— did he pull a gun because they've been calling him a nigga every day? Like, what, what did he go through? So sometimes it's not good for you to go to this neighborhood and want your kids— I, I'm in the neighborhood. I had to drive my kids to another side of town so they'd be at school with Black kids because the kids, that's their first generation in America, was already calling my high yellow children— I'm gonna use the white man's word— my high yellow children, they were calling them niggas. And I was like, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, but English is your second language and you ain't even mastered it, but you can already— you better than a nigga though. Yeah. And, and, and so I had to go to another side of town. You are dealing with all of that. Hearing that stuff on the news, that affects us as Black people. That affects us. For you to say that it don't affect us is the same stuff that the white South Africans were telling the Black South Africans. It ain't real. And so that affects us. That worries us. That worries us of what the retaliation is going to be. How is my child going to cope with this? How is my child going to deal with this? Because our children have so much more to deal with.

That's right. Hope— I'm sorry, Mary, how, how have you been taught over the years to deal with trauma?

Oh, you don't. You don't deal with it. You, you keep moving. Um, it happens. It's there to make you stronger, not realizing it's tearing you up. Not realizing that sweeping stuff under the rug and pretending that not necessarily me, but just by saying my uncle that I knew was sleeping with my cousins, I just act like that didn't happen. Or my daddy that I found out he was my daddy at 8. Now that's a real situation. Now I'm confused because that's trauma to me. Even when you have a whole— say you have a— and I talk about this all the time on the show. When I was growing up, I had a problem reading. I couldn't read nothing, even in second grade, third grade. But they used to say they love me so much, they used to do my homework for me. These are grown people doing homework instead of sitting down teaching and getting me the proper— the tool. Tools that I needed in order to learn. You just gonna do this just to say, because it's, it's just, I want you to pass. But then when I get to school, I don't know. So instead of me saying, because no, you know, you're brainwashing me, no, this is what you know, you know. So when I get to school and I don't know, don't tell them you don't know. So now I gotta fight because now kids are teasing me. So now I'm known as the bully. I'm a bully because I don't want nobody to know I really can't read. So then when you find this one teacher that really cares and say, ah, it's something deeper than that, it's something wrong, it's the reason why she's acting like that, so let's go back to the foundation of where it started to find out why this is happening. We don't take the time to do that in life because— and even being— I know a young lady that I talked to before, she had been molested as a kid. She indicated to me that at the age of 7 that's when she stopped living. So technically, her mind is still at 7. So now that she's acting out and doing all these things, she's never dealt with what's really going on. So that's what I was raised to do, just deal with it. Don't say nothing. I had to learn on my own that ain't working. That ain't working. And that's not something that— I'm hurting. And it's OK to say that I'm hurting. It's okay to say that I got a problem right now. It's okay to say I need help. It's like, you know, it's okay. And that was something that we are so busy trying to be strong, we are weak.

Yeah, that's it right there.

Hope, how, how, how have you been taught, um, to deal with—

oh, you know, I was taught to stay happy. I was— I literally— I would literally have to scream and start crying to let my parents know that I was upset. If I put on some sad music because I was sad, they would come in my room. And you know who my parents are, and you know the street I grew up on is Black, Black. If I don't tell you, they would think— literally, they thought putting on Jesse Jackson, Keep Hope Alive speech would make me happy. And I was like, these people do not get it. It is— that is not making me happy. Malcolm X speech, that's not making me happy. Like Jesse Jackson, I would listen. Martin Luther King, I would be like, okay. So I would come out of my room and I would scream and I would say, I'm not happy, this is bothering me. I shared with my daughter that, um, I came home— we used to go to California every Thanksgiving And that was where my mother's family is. And I don't really do anything with my family here because we have no clue what they do. So I would go to California. So my class of 15 people decided to stop talking to me because they were upset that I would go to California. So when I came home and I realized they weren't talking to me, my parents were— had their relationship and then they had me. So the two never— like, we did things together, but I, I did not know that they had problems, and so they did not know that I had problems. So I think it was right after spring break, definitely before Easter, that the nuns called my mother to the school, and they were like, she's not talking to anybody in the class, she only speaks when spoken to. And then I told my mother, they stopped talking to me after Thanksgiving. And my mother was like, wait a minute, you've been sitting here going to school every single day and this entire class is not talking to you, and this and this and that. And I was like, yeah, it wasn't a problem until they realized I wasn't talking to them. So I was taught— I, I— without them sitting down teaching it, it's by omission. I was just taught, just get over it. My mother's favorite thing is, um, when you say things about depression My mother would say, I was too hungry to be depressed. I had to work. I didn't have time to be depressed. And I was like, that's not how that works. But same thing in high school. I went to public school. And I had been conditioned to be terrified of them. And so I just had a hard time. Now we know that I lacked the social skills to be in a big school like that, work in a locker. We didn't lock our lockers. So I couldn't work a combination. And to this day, that coach sees me, he's like, remember you couldn't work a combination? I'm like, yeah. Because he would say left this, the right that. I was like, I don't know what you're talking about. So I think that they taught us— I think for me, I was just taught to build a bridge and get over it. That's not— your name is Hope, and you're going to be happy. And you're going to get over that. That's not a problem. My father, you ain't behind no Clydesdale, you know. And you know, my mother like, you drinking any fountain you want to, so you know, if you don't have no problem, you are 10 and you not working, so you do not have a problem. Do y'all realize that we were the first generation to get toys for Christmas? Did y'all realize that our parents, your grandparents, your parents They got apples and oranges and walnuts and candy. So all of us born '68, '66, we were the first group that got toys for Christmas. So I think that's why I was like, what? Yeah, well, I'm sick from '66 on. Those kids, those were when toys started being given for Christmas. And so, so dang, Mary, '76, Lord Jesus. Um, wait a minute, I think I had a boyfriend by '76. I think I was already Johnny Jackson girlfriend or Corey Jackson. I was somebody, Miss Jackson something.

Yeah, so I think that they taught us that by omission when you compare it to that, and And, and let's just also say this, we're, we're from a generation where we actually see our partners naked because that wasn't something they did. They did not do the whole body, you know. It's a lot of things that has changed, y'all. And, and I just want to say thank y'all for going on this journey with me. Next week we're gonna have, you know, more fun topics and stuff like that. We're gonna have guests and everything, but I wanted to talk to the ladies Peace. I really miss y'all. I appreciate y'all. Y'all know I'm still adjusting. I get up every— I've been back, I've been getting up at 3:30 every morning. I cannot go back to sleep because I will wake up at 8:30 in Ghana. Ghana is 5 hours ahead of us. Oh wow. My body has not adjusted. And so at 5 o'clock I'm in the gym, not really working hard, but I'm tired of laying in the bed just looking stupid. So, uh, this— I'm like, if my eyes look puffy, it's because I'm sleepy and my allergies kicking my butt. Um, all y'all that watched, I really appreciate it. I just want to end the show with this right here. I— this life really is a journey. Yes, it really is, dude. It's, it's, it's a journey. It's a tough journey. It's, it's— you have your ups and you have your downs. You have your mountains, you have your your valleys. Uh, sometimes you don't know who to trust. Yeah, sometimes you don't even trust your damn self. Like, you know, I'm like, damn, nigga, how you gonna betray your own self? Like, you know what I'm saying? Like, you gotta live with that decision, you know? Yeah, yeah. Um, but one thing I do know is that, um, God is still faithful. Yes, he is. You better talk about it. I don't care what nobody says. I My relationship is so much stronger, although my faith is tested every day, even more so. A professor once told me, Dr. Mossberger, he said, a faith that cannot be tested is not much of a faith.

Yeah, that's right.

I was like, damn, you know what I'm saying? Because I'm like, I don't want my faith to keep being tested, but that's part of the journey. It's part of the journey. And I think that's why when you see older people, they're so strong, because they've already been down this road. That's right. We come from a generation where we don't really— we just kind of brush over it. Yeah, kind of brush over it. So before we end, uh, Hope, you got anything going on, girl?

No. He hate when I say that. Look at his face. He hate when I say that. I do not.

Okay, uh, Mary, you got something going on, girl? Nothing, just working with— going, getting back, working with Snack Addicts. On next Saturday they having something out at, uh, I don't know if everybody know Joe Lewis Drive out at Honey's Place. Yeah. Oh, I have a Sturge Hall concert, the whole nine. Okay. And we're gonna be on the truck selling some funnel cakes. And on the night, uh, there was a Saturday, is that— yeah, they're gonna have a concert out there. I'm still doing my Henny wings. Still doing Dr Pepper wings, just doing the doggone thing. So you're gonna be next—

not this Saturday, but next Saturday?

No, this Saturday coming up tonight.

The night? Yeah. Okay, because I'll be in San Antonio not this weekend but next weekend. Okay. I gotta, I gotta— I'll tell y'all what's going on after we log off.

Mary, we gonna take him to his restaurant. We gonna meet up and take him to his restaurant, to his little spot.

We're going to. Oh, Mexican restaurant, huh?

My Mexican restaurant?

No, no, no, you like Papa Dose. Oh no, every time. So I ain't know. I mean, anyway, Mary, I'll call you.

Whatever. We're gonna have to sell some chicken ankles, but we taking you.

Yeah, I want some honey, um, some Hennessy wings. Y'all tripping. Oh, we can eat that afterwards.

You ain't gonna let us take you. You be talking about women don't take men out.

Nowhere.

No, no, no, no, I didn't say that. I didn't say that because when I— when we get off, y'all gonna see why it's even dope that y'all said that. So I'll tell y'all stuff that's going on. I haven't shared it with anybody, but everything was confirmed today. Um, I will be in San Antonio. The contract should be sent tomorrow. Uh, the first— actually, I'll be in San Antonio also for the first November first weekend in November because I'm opening up for TK Kirkland. Uh, if y'all don't know who that is, he is the one that, um, nigga, that's DL Hughley's mentor. Like, he's been, he's been out there for years. Y'all know his joke about who raised you. Like, this nigga is hilarious. And I, I was like, yo, Bobby, uh, text me today. Hey, you want to open up? Hell yeah, I want to open up for TK Kirkland.

So is that November 6th or 7th?

Uh, it's that Friday and this Saturday. The—

I think it's the 5th and 6th. 5th and the 6th.

It's 2 shows on that Friday and 2 shows on that Saturday. So I'll be giving y'all more information. Um, you're supposed to send me the contract tomorrow. You know I do contracts now. Uh, we'll see about that. I want to end the show with a song, and Mary, you're gonna smile when I play this song. And I'm playing it last just in case Facebook cuts us off, but just in case. Just in case it cut off, not a problem. I thank y'all again for watching. Thank y'all for hanging out with us. Um, I will have more energy next week when my, my allergies are better and my energy is better, because I am tired as hell. And when I leave here, I gotta go to another spot to meet with this promoter who wants to do another show. So we'll see how that works. Anyway, thank y'all again. I appreciate y'all. Ladies, they won't— ladies, don't you go nowhere. It's your boy Ray Sorrell. Get right. I holla. Don't y'all go to work. They must got something for you, Mary.

I remember singing this song as a little girl in a small Church in College Station, Arkansas.

I, I know I've been changed.