Episode 273 - Why You’re Still Chasing Your Team to Get Things Done

Hey everybody, welcome to another Just One Thing. My name is Rick White from 180 Biz, and this is my Just One Thing. So what are we going to talk about today? We're going to talk about tugboats today. So I heard Dan Martell— he's the author of Buy Back Your Time, great book, read it— he said something the other day that really kind of got under my skin. He said, be a lighthouse, not a tugboat. And you know, the word I couldn't stop thinking about wasn't lighthouse. It was tugboat. I mean, think about what a tugboat does. It hooks on to another ship and then basically moves the ship. It steers the ship, you know, it gets it into that final spot that it's supposed to be in. And that's exactly what a tugboat's supposed to do. I think there are a lot of shop owners out there that have become tugboats without even knowing it. So let's get back to this. Think about this for one second. How many times are you reminding people, checking on them, chasing them, solving their problems, fixing what they didn't finish, and then finally you had enough and you're just like, you know, just give it to me, I'll do it? And guess what? You just hooked yourself to their ship. See, now you're providing the power to move, right, something that should be basically their responsibility to move without you. But here's the hard part. Here's what I need you to hear. Being a tugboat works, right? The job gets done. Client gets called, problems fixed, deadlines met. So it feels like good leadership, but is it? See, I don't think most shop owners wake up one morning and decide they're going to do everybody else's job. It happens a little bit at a time. That's what I need you to understand. You have someone who isn't quite ready, so you help. Something gets mixed— missed, so you remind them. They're struggling with a problem, so you give them an answer. They make a mistake, you fix it. They're taking too long, so you step in. And every one of those choices makes sense at the time you're doing it, right? You're trying to help. Here's what happens though. Somewhere along the way, helping can turn into carrying, to steering, right? And eventually you become the power behind someone else's job. See, then something really strange happens. You start getting mad because nobody's taking ownership. Maybe you need to ask yourself, am I giving them a chance to own it? Because you can't ask someone to take ownership if you keep taking ownership back. So I want you to understand, if your job isn't to pull the ship, right, to make it go where it's supposed to, This is where the other half of that quote matters. Be the lighthouse. See, your job is to guide. And I think guiding in our situation has 3 distinct components. It's direction, example, and correction. So let's go into each one of those. The first part of this guiding is direction. People need to know where they're going. What are you trying to do? What does good look like? What do you expect from them? What are they in charge of? How will they know if they're doing a good job? That sounds simple, but think about how often you get upset because someone didn't do something the way you wanted it done. You can't expect someone to stay on course if they don't know what they're doing. You've got to make the way Clear. But here's the thing I want you to understand. Guiding people isn't telling people where to go. You have to show them. You have to be the example. You have to show them how you expect them to act along the way. If you want your team to own their mistakes, guess what? You gotta own yours. If you want them to be prepared, you have to be prepared. If you expect them to follow a process, Then don't skip that process when you're doing their job, right? If you expect them to keep their word, you got to keep yours. You need to understand that your team watches what you do every moment of every day. And when what you say and what you do don't match, guess which one they're going to follow? It's not the words. You got to walk your talk. You can't point people one way while you're going another. Being the example is part of guiding. And then the third component of this is correction. See, being a lighthouse doesn't mean you point the way and then stop paying attention. If someone gets off course, you say something, you give feedback, you coach, you ask questions, you deal with missed promises, you hold them accountable. If we agreed something was going to happen on Friday and it didn't, then you're going to talk about it. But accountability doesn't mean coming in angry and deciding already why they didn't do it. Right. First, you need to understand, were you clear? And then did they know how to do it? Did they have what they needed? Did something happen that they couldn't control? Or did they know what to do and simply didn't do it? Those aren't the same problem. So they shouldn't always get the same answer, but there does need to be an answer. You don't guide someone by watching them go the wrong way. And say nothing. Accountability is part of guiding. I think the difference between being a lighthouse and being a tugboat really matters. I can show you where you're going. I can show you how we're gonna act getting there. I can tell you when you're getting off course. I can hold you accountable for getting back on course, but you— Still have to steer. That's the conversation to have. They still have to steer. Guiding doesn't mean moving them. The minute you start doing their part, something changes. You're not helping them anymore. You're pulling them and you're becoming a tugboat. I need you to understand that this is hard for a lot of leaders. Sometimes you already know the answer. You can do it faster. You might do it better. And stepping in feels like the quickest way to solve the problem. But if you keep grabbing the wheel, when do they learn to steer? When do they learn to make choices? When do they learn to know what actions need to be taken? See, they got to be able to solve problems. And you got to recognize sometimes they're gonna make mistakes. They need to learn how to fix those mistakes. They got to keep their promises. And when they don't, they got to own that too. See, you can guide them through all of it. You can coach, you can teach, you can correct, you can hold them accountable. But the wheel has to stay in their hands. This is why being a tugboat can be so hard to stop because it works today. You remind them, it gets done. You chase them, they finally do it. You fix it, problem goes away. You take it back and suddenly you don't have to worry about it anymore. But what happens tomorrow? They may learn that they don't really have to remember because you'll remind them. They may learn that you'll check behind them and they start to relax more and more. They may learn that if they wait long enough, you're going to step in. See, what you're teaching them is what we call daddy syndrome, right? They're learning that they can lean on you. They're learning that you're going to back them up, that they don't have to take responsibility. And now you got a bigger problem. You wanted to help someone become better at their job. And instead, you've taught them that they need you to do it. Please hear that, right? You wanted to help someone get better at their job. But instead, you've taught them that they need you to do it. Helping isn't the problem. Teaching isn't the problem. Coaching isn't the problem. Accountability isn't the problem. The problem is when your help turns into their power, right? When they stop moving unless you're pushing or pulling, that's when you've become the tugboat. And I want you to understand that a lot of times You create it because you're afraid they're going to make a mistake, because you're afraid to trust somebody. But the reality is they earn that trust over time by showing competence. And sometimes you need to train them on it. That's okay. But listen, becoming the tugboat and pushing and pulling where they need to go isn't helping them. So here's the question I want you to ask yourself this week. Are you guiding your people or are you pulling them? I want you to guide them. I want you to give them a direction. I want you to make sure they know where they're going and what good looks like. I want you to set the example. I want you to walk the talk and show them what you expect by the way you act. This is so important. If you really want your team to be client-focused and servant-focused, You have to be a servant, right? I need you to remember the line that guiding doesn't mean moving. They have to steer. Because if you have to keep reminding, chasing, fixing, carrying, and taking things back just to keep someone moving, you're not leading anymore. You're towing them. Right? And maybe, just maybe, the goal here isn't to become a better tugboat. Maybe it's finally time to cut the rope. This is what it's all about. You can't grow leaders if you can't give them something to lead. You can't grow responsibility if you're not willing to let them be responsible. It's just a fact. So by being able to step back— now you got to be clear. You got to be really clear. You got to be able to communicate it, but then you got to be able to let them do it over time. Okay, so please share this message if this resonated. We really need help getting this message out. There are people that need to hear this. And if you're struggling with being a tugboat and you're not quite sure what to do and you want to finally just talk to somebody and try and get some help, I would love to be able to talk to you about it. Listen, Tugboat sounds nicer than a bulldozer. They're the same thing. A tugboat will push a boat. The goal here is you're not ever going to grow a team being a bulldozer or a tugboat. So I'm going to ask you to share this. If you're really stuck on this, Shannon will put my calendar link in there on the comments. Just grab a spot. Let's sit down and talk. It's not high pressure. It's about helping, right? If I can give you some clarity on this, I would love that. All right, everybody, no more being the tugboat, right? I want you to start asking, am I letting them steer? Be the lighthouse, right? Be the lighthouse. And the lighthouse is all about being able to guide. Yes. And you do that 3 ways: by giving direction, setting an example, and correcting when needed. That's all there is. You still let them go. Ultimately, when you're correcting somebody, if they start going towards the rocks, you say, "Hey man, come on, come on, come on." But it's still their choice. They stay steering, and if they decide to crash on the rocks, they're not part of the team anymore. That's just the fact of it. So listen, everybody. I hope this really helps. God bless. Have a great week, and go make some money. I'll see you next week. Take care, everybody. Bye bye.